BY : katharina99
Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander
Dragon prints: 18613
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Spike now had another reason to be grateful that the boy was the one who had completed the bond, Xander Harris, it turned out, was an excellent source of stress relief. He’d been livid following his conversation with Buffy. He’d been in such a furious haze that he’s been just about ready to track the stupid Slayer down and rip her arms off, which from past experience never really worked out to Spike’s advantage. It had been just as well that his pet had shown up to otherwise occupy him. Now that he’d managed to release some of his pent-up frustration, well, he was still irritated, but he no longer felt murderous. In fact, with the human’s heat squeezing around his cock as he took him rough and hard, he felt pretty damn spectacular. The sizzling warmth radiating from the boy’s well-beaten backside every time their bodies connected felt amazing. Finally, the pleasure became too much, and he thrust deep into the mortal, shuddering as he came.

After he collapsed atop of the boy, it took his bliss-addled brain a moment to realize that something was amiss. The body beneath his was as stiff as he’d ever felt it. The human hadn’t even been this tense the first time he’d taken him. He smelled off as well, frightened, not the usual delicious mixture of arousal and nervous anxiety that Spike had come to appreciate, but actually afraid.

“Kitten?” he asked.

“Yes, Master?” the boy answered tonelessly.

“What’s wrong?” Spike coaxed, reaching to gingerly rub the mortal’s outstretched arms. The muscles beneath his hands were rigid, and Spike could now see that his pet was holding the counter with a white-knuckled grip.

“Nothing, Master,” his slave lied in a clipped monosyllabic voice. Spike to a deep breath, exhaling through his mouth. As tempting as reacquainting his boy’s backside with his recently discarded belt for not answering him truthfully might be, threatening or punishing the mortal now would only serve to make him even more skittish. He continued leisurely exploring the human’s body with his hands, hoping his touch would eventually soothe the human.

“Then why are you so tense, luv?” the vampire insisted, trying to keep his tone calm and even. In the absence of being able to lash out verbally, Xander, he’d discovered, tended to shut down in response to a heavy-handed approach. Affection and praise, on the other hand, made the slave pliant and eager to please.

“I don’t know,” the boy whimpered as one of Spike’s roaming hands finally gripped his limp penis.

“You’re not hard. Why? Usually, you’re randy after I whip you,” he wondered aloud.

 “I’m sorry,” his pet answered, voice breaking. Spike released the boy’s cock.

“What do you have to be sorry for, Kitten?” he asked.

“I… don’t know…Whatever it is that made you so mad. I’m sorry,” his pet replied hesitantly. The boy took in a deep, shuddering breath. Spike could feel soft tremors beneath his chest and realized that his pet had begun quietly sobbing.

“Wasn’t mad at you, sweet,” he reassured the boy, delicately kissing the shell of his ear.

“Sometimes…” Xander began before shutting his mouth so hard that Spike wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d chipped a tooth. His pet was still holding the edges of the counter as though he expected the world to come crashing to an end if he let go. The mortal’s heart was beating furiously, and Spike could not understand why he had taken so long to notice that his human was this upset. Sighing, Spike extricated himself from his pet. He winced slightly as he looked down at his handy work; no wonder the boy was fretting. He’d managed to raise angry-looking welts all over the boy’s buttocks and thighs. Sodding Hell, there was blood on his cock. Not much, but enough to indicate that their coupling hadn’t been pleasant for the boy. Well, that explained why his pet was cowering from him like a frightened lamb. Carefully he reached down and stroked Xander’s backside. His boy couldn’t suppress a little hiss; he also couldn’t suppress a slight flinch. That wouldn’t do.

“Shush now, it’s all over. You took the beating well, like a proper obedient pet. You were so brave for Master, bearing all that delicious pain just to keep me happy. Let’s get you to the bedroom so you can rest,” he announced, reaching to remove the harness that was still dangling between the human’s legs. He swiftly unbuckled the band of leather still around the boy’s waist and tossed the bindings aside, plug and all. Harris might not respond well to abuse, but he soaked up positive re-enforcement like a sponge. Telling the boy that he would be spanked for being a nasty little slut wasn’t nearly as effective as praising Xander for accepting his punishment like a good boy. “There, much better. Why don’t you let Master take care of that poor bum? It’s time to let go now, Kitten. That’s right, let go. That’s it, that’s my good boy.”

Xander was still unsteady, so Spike wrapped an arm around his waist. He was gratified when after a moment, he felt Xander lean into him. “Easy now, that’s it. Come with me.”

Spike helped his pet make his way into the bedroom, supporting the boy as he slowly shuffled towards their bed. He carefully lay him face down in the centre of the mattress and sat down beside him. Once his pet settled into the bedding, he leaned forward to rub soothing circles on the boy’s unmarred upper back. He kept on gently caressing his pet for long minutes, accompanying his caresses with a litany of reassuring praise. Finally, he felt some of his boy’s tension melt away.

“I’m going to rub some lotion onto your bottom now,” he warned the mortal, reaching for the bottle of aloe lotion he kept on the nightstand. He’d discovered weeks ago that since his Kitten was spanked on an almost daily basis, the skin on his buttocks had started to become dried and chapped. He’d looked into the subject and discovered that it was actually a fairly common issue among spanking devotes. The general consensus he’d found online and when he’s consulted his friend Minara was that the easiest solution was to keep the skin well moisturized. So he had the boy apply some to his bottom after his morning spanking. Sometimes he'd do it for the boy if he was feeling generous. More often than not, Spike did this on the weekend when he could take his time; his slick fingers would slide down into the boy’s crack and end up playing with his hole. The entire endeavour would usually end up with him rubbing his pet’s sweet spot until the boy was whimpering and squirming in desperate need. He supposed that that was cruel given that he no longer allowed the boy to climax on Fridays or Saturdays, but his Kitten never seemed overly upset by it. He’d whimper piteously, but in the end, he’d usually willingly snuggle up to his Master and allow Spike to soothe him until his need to culminate became slightly less all-consuming. At the moment, he wouldn’t worry about that, though. It would be enough to abate some of Xander’s discomfort. He really hadn’t planned on hurting his pet tonight. Even if he had, he should have increased the boy’s pain gradually. He’d found over their weeks together that Xander could take quite a bit of physical abuse so long as it was built up slowly and, of course,  provided he was in the proper mindset to begin with. Instead, all Spike had managed to do tonight was scare the mortal. And shocking as it was, Spike realized that he hadn’t liked seeing his Kitten afraid of him.

After several long minutes of softly whispering endearments in his pet’s ear as he carefully applied more lotion to the boy’s abused bottom, Xander finally seemed to allow himself to relax. The mortal’s heartbeat was returning to its normal rhythm. He was sure that if he continues much longer, the boy would drift off. Spike cursed himself silently for allowing the damned Slayer to affect him the way she had. Pleasant as fondling the boy’s backside was, it wasn’t how Spike had planned on spending his evening. Despite how resilient his pet had proven to be over the past few weeks, he was still only human. The vampire could easily have hurt him, damaged him. He should have been paying closer attention and noticed the boy’s distress, and stopped before his pet became rigid with fear. Hell! By the time the vampire had realized that thing had gone awry, the boy had been too distressed to even tell him what was wrong. Now that his Kitten had calmed down, there was no reason he could not rectify that.

“What were you going to say earlier, Pet?” he asked, moving up the bed to knead away some of the tension from his slave shoulders.

“Master?” the mortal asked tiredly, sounding genuinely puzzled.

“Earlier this evening, when I told you that it wasn’t you that I was cross with, you were going to say something, but you stopped yourself. What were you going to say?” Spike prodded as he continued to work on the knots from his pet’s muscles.

“I… I’m not sure…” the boy hesitated, and Spike felt the tension return to the flesh he was diligently massaging.

“Kitten, I think we both know that’s not true. I don’t want to have to punish you, but I’ll have to if you keep lying to me. Now tell Master what you were going to say when I told you I wasn’t angry at you?” He asked firmly. Spike heard the human’s pulse speed up almost immediately.

“I… Please…” Xander pleaded.

“Go on, just tell Master. There’s nothing to be frightened off. I just want the truth. I won’t be angry,” he assured his slave. The boy didn’t respond. “Pet?” he asked again, taking a deep breath. Alright, so maybe, perhaps, there was an infinitesimal chance that he might become angry.

“You can’t promise that… you won’t be mad… Master”, the boy stuttered after a moment’s hesitation. Spike could feel light tremors run through the flesh beneath his hands.

“You’re right. I can’t. But I can promise to try,” he attempted to reassure his pet. “Just tell me, Kitten.”

“Please… Master. It doesn’t matter. I didn’t mean it. I just let my mouth get away from me for a second. you know how I get. Please, Master, I’m sorry,” the other man pleaded, and for a moment, Spike was tempted to just let it go. He’d already upset the boy enough for one day and didn’t particularly want to distress him further, but experience told him that ignoring whatever was bothering his pet would only delay the problem. Xander would let, whatever it was, fester until he either exploded or worried himself into a near fit.

“It’s alright, pet. I accept your apology. However, I still expect an answer. What where you going to say?” Spike repeated firmly.

“You said you weren’t angry with me….” Xander began.

“That’s right,” Spike patiently confirmed. “Go on.”

“You were angry at Buffy…” the prone man quietly ventured.

“Yes,” he responded tightly. He didn’t see how his feelings towards the Slayer were any of his slave’s business. If the human thought he had any right commenting on his relationship with Buffy… He took another steadying breath reminding himself that he’d promised the boy that he’d listen.

“I knew you weren’t mad at me. It’s just that sometimes… In the heat of the moment… I’m not sure you can tell the difference,” the human finally whispered.

“I was angry at the Slayer, but I….” Spike started.

The boy’s voice was distant now, almost dazed. “When I got off the elevator, I could hear you arguing with someone from the hall, but I didn’t know who it was. I could just tell that whatever they were saying was pissing you off. After I came in, I realized it was Buffy you were arguing with, and honestly, when you hung up, I knew it was going to be bad. It was like you were stuck in your anger, and you were looking right through me. When someone gets like that, it does matter if you’re the one who made them angry or not. I didn’t know how to make it better. I’ve never known. I tried just following our regular routine. I thought that maybe, it would help calm you down, make you happy… make you less furious. But that wasn’t right, because you were still so angry. You were still angry when you started hitting me.”

“I’ve hit you before, pet. You’ve come all over yourself while I was beating you,” he replied defensively. The boy was his to do with as he wished after all. And it’s not as though it had been a complete hardship for Harris. Most of the time, the boy ended up a shuddering, whimpering, moaning mess beneath his blows. Hell, there had been those times when he had asked to be hit harder.

“This wasn’t the same,” Xander whispered, burying his face in his upturned arms.

“How?” The vampire asked. He was half sorry that he’d pushed the boy to answer him, but he was committed now.

“Once you had me like you wanted me, you didn’t touch me or talk to me. You just told me not to move or else. I didn’t know what you were going to do or when you were going to stop. I didn’t know if you were going to stop,” his pet answered dispassionately.

“I would never harm you,” He tried to reassure his boy. Xander should know by now that Spike would never do anything to cause him any permanent damage. If he’d intended to harm the human, he could have done so long before now. All and all, he’d tried to treat the boy well. Yeah, he spanked and shagged him, but he did his best to make the experience enjoyable for the whelp. Half of the games they played in bed were designed around the human’s predilections rather than his own.

There was a slight hesitation, and Spike thought that perhaps the boy would leave it at that. But finally, he breathed, “You did…” so quietly that he would not have heard had he been human.

Well, he’d wanted to know what the younger man had been thinking. Now he did. Not as though he hadn’t sussed out that he’d gone a little too far on his own. He’d known that the moment that the boy had gone all rigid beneath him. It had been bloody obvious. It was also… It… It was bollocks. As usual, he was left to shoulder all the blame. The boy was his sodding slave and yet somehow had managed to make everything Spike’s fault. “Don’t put this all on me. If it was that bad if you were that terrified, why didn’t you say something?” he growled.

Xander, in what Spike would eventually come to consider simultaneously the most suicidal and self-preserving act he’d ever witnessed, snorted. Spike, filled with rage once more, moved off of Xander and spun him around in one swift motion.

“You think this is funny?” he demanded, squeezing his pet’s arms hard enough to bruise. He would not be mocked by someone who was little more than an animated sex doll.

“No, Master, just ironic,” the boy replied bitterly, turning his head and refusing to look his Master in the eye.

“What is that supposed to mean?” the vampire asked. The mortal didn’t say anything, just lay beneath him, sucking a long breath through his teeth. Frustrated by the brunet’s recalcitrance, Spike shook him roughly. “Answer me. If you think that I’m going to allow the Power’s whore to sit in judgment of me….”

That had an immediate effect. The boy started struggling in his grasp. “Screw you. Did you finally get one too many jolts and fry what’s left of your undead brains, MASTER? Why do you think I didn’t say anything? Why do you think I didn’t say anything all the other times? I didn’t say anything because I can’t.”

“You bloody well blabber on more than anyone I’ve ever met,” Spike hissed, loosening his grip slightly. Well, the boy had, before… Since Xander had bonded himself to Spike, they hadn’t really spoken, not beyond the mortal acknowledging his Master’s commands and answering direct questions. Come to think of it, the boy rarely said anything beyond a two-word reply unless prompted.

“Yes, Master,” his boy spat back as if he’d suddenly acquired the ability to read the vampire’s mind. He said the words like they were a curse. They were probably the two words he’d heard Xander use the most often since becoming his slave, but they’d never sounded so much like an insult before.

“Pet…” He tried to placate the mortal.

“Yes, Master?” the mortal answered tonelessly like he’d given up.

“Talk to me, Kitten,” he said, taking hold of his pet’s chin and forcing him to meet his gaze.

“What’s there to say, Master? What do you want me to say?” the human sighed tiredly.

“The truth might be a nice choice,” he suggested.

“I don’t know what you want from me. Just tell me what you want me to say, and I’ll say it,” Xander whispered.

“Well, I suppose that I could go with: Master, I think you’re a handsome devil. But I was thinking more along the lines of talking about what happened earlier,” Spike quipped. That managed to get a weak chuckle out of Xander.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now. Please just let it go,” the boy pleaded.

“You said you never objected before because you couldn’t, now is your chance,” Spike replied.

“And what, if I say something now, you’ll stop? I get to go back to my life before… Before all this?” Xander asked, waving his hand between the two of them. His tone made it clear he didn’t believe that for a single moment. Spike tried to keep his face blank. He failed. “I didn’t think so.”

“I never said I would release you, pet. I didn’t steal you away from your life. You agreed to give yourself to me, volunteered yourself if memory serves correctly,” he reminded the boy. He was growing beyond tired of being treated as if he were some fairy tale beast who’d spirited the boy away and imprisoned him in a tower.

“I know that,” the dark-haired human snapped, looking away.  “I get it, okay. It was my decision. And I went into this with my eye wide open.  I understood that when I completed the ritual, I was signing my life away. I didn’t just give you my body; I also gave away my right to say no. I get it. Can we just drop this now, please, Master?”

“Is that what you want? The right to say no?” Spike asked. Bugger, he never should have started this. What in blazes would he say if the boy said yes?

“What does it matter when I can’t have that? We didn’t hook up in some bar or meet online. I can’t decide that I don’t like how you roll the toothpaste tube and walk away. I made myself your slave. And not just in a kinky, we like to wear leather and latex on the weekend kind of way. You literally have complete control over me for the rest of my life. It doesn’t really matter what I want anymore now, does it?” Xander responded miserably.

“You’re right, you are my slave, and I won’t give that up. I love having you submit to me. But I don’t… I don’t want you to be miserable, Kitten,” the vampire admitted, cupping the human’s chin and turning his face so that he was looking at his Master again. “I don’t even want to see you unhappy.”

“I… don’t know what to say to that. You have what you want. I’ve given you everything that you’ve asked for. So what does it matter if I’m happy or not?” the mortal asked, his forehead furrowing slightly.

“I’ve grown…” he hesitated, “fond of you over that last few weeks.” Even though if just a couple of months ago he’d been asked to rank which of the Slayer’s pets he’d like to have chained to his bed for the next couple of decades, the Harris boy would have been placed dead last, he had come to appreciate the human. And he hadn’t lied to Xander. While he wasn’t deluded enough to believe that the young man would ever find true happiness as a slave, he hoped the boy could at least find some kind of contentment and even peace with his new life. “I know that you never pictured your life turning out this way, but there have been moments here and there that haven’t been complete misery, haven’t there?”

“You know there have been parts that I… liked,” the mortal sputtered, turning a deep scarlet.

“I’m glad to hear that. I hope we can find lots of new things that you’ll enjoy me doing to you,” Spike teased.

“Yes,” Xander gulped.

“I do regret scaring you, luv. But, I won’t lie to you or make false promises that I have no intention of keeping. You’re right, you belong to me, and I have every intention of continuing to use you.  You will be mine till the day you die. I do promise you this, though; from now on, I’ll pay closer attention. I should have noticed right away that I was hurting you. But from now on, you’re to tell me when you’re upset or… when you’re frightened either of me or of what I’m about to do to you,” he insisted.

“Okay,” Xander agreed, still looking uncertain.

“That doesn’t mean that I’ll stop, Pet,” he clarified. When Xander frowned, he continued. “Remember when I put the big black plug inside you? You didn’t think that you could take it. You were certain that you wouldn’t be able to take my fist either. But you did. It was only fear of the unknown that was stopping you. I want you with me for a long time to come, Kitten. I need you to trust me to know your limits. I’ll push them, but I’ll never try to break them. I won’t intentionally hurt you. Do you think you can live with that?”

For a moment, he didn’t think the boy would answer, but finally, he nodded. “I’ll try, Master.”

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