BY : katharina99
Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander
Dragon prints: 18613
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Embarrassment wasn't really an adequate word for what Xander was feeling right now. He'd had a freaking mini-meltdown in front of Spike. He couldn't believe the stuff he told the vampire. These were feelings he never shared, even with Wills.

The two of them never spoke of their late friend. It was as if Jesse had never even existed. Years of friendship erased, as if Darla had put some strange enchantment on them when she'd killed their best friend. Strange that it had taken another blond vampire to break it.

At first, Xander had thought of his friend often. He’d seen him in the face of every fledge he'd dusted, but then he'd forced himself to put his feelings aside. Jesse had been gone the moment Darla had fed him her powerful blood. That's what Giles had always told him. Maybe it's what the watcher actually believed.

The more Xander had been around Angel and then Spike, the more he'd realized that that was complete bull. Maybe that's why he'd always hated the two vamps so much, because they exposed the notion that vampires just took over human bodies, leaving nothing of the original personalities as a lie. Or maybe it was because they kept trying to kill him.

At least today the brunet had gotten a chance to ask some questions, without fearing that answers would be held back to spare his feelings. It was actually kind of refreshing. He loved Giles like a second father. Hell, the British librarian had been more of a parent to him than either Tony or Jessica Harris had ever been. But like all good parents, the Brit had tried to protect his charges against knowledge that he felt they were not ready for.

The mortal really didn't hold it against the watcher. It was actually nice that at least one of the adults during his youth had bothered to attempt to protect him in some way. His own parents had always been too damned drunk.

He'd known from the beginning that he'd always been Giles’ last priority. He didn't have any of the special talents of the others. Buffy was the slayer, Willow a powerful witch, Oz a werewolf, Dawn a mystical ball of energy, Anya a thousand year old ex-vengeance demon; he was just well… a glorified brick-layer. It was logical that he'd get the least of the older man's attention.

The man he considered himself closer to than his own father hadn't even bothered to fly down for his wedding. It was just as well, since it hadn't even happened. It would have been a huge waste of G-man's time and money. He knew the repatriated Englishman was busy and wouldn't have appreciated the younger man wasting his time. Giles had sent an expensive gift and a very nice card. Very classy - just the type of thoughtful gesture you would expect from the Englishman.

Anyway as much as he loved and trusted the British man, he didn't always trust some of the things Giles told him and the others to be, well, complete. Even though his vampire master was probably the last person in the world he should trust, he had a feeling that the platinum blond was telling him the truth. Why would he lie? It probably wasn’t in a noble attempt to protect Xander's feelings.

It certainly wasn't to get into the mortal's pants. Most of the time the bleach boy didn't let him wear any. Though as he lay close to the vampire's cool muscular body, Xander supposed that pants wouldn't be the most comfortable thing in the world right now.

Spike had told him he would get used to this, to staying hard and unsatisfied, but he really couldn't see how. He was damned near ready to cry in frustration. He'd been so damned grateful to the vampire though after his little breakdown. He hadn't wanted to screw things up by angering the creature. Nothing seemed to tick off Spike more than refusing his commands, especially if they were about sex. The vampire would give him this look that made him want to crawl out of his skin.

So when the vampire had ordered him to touch himself, he hadn't hesitated. He'd laid there bared opened and jerked himself off while Spike sat watching him, like it was some private porno show put on just for him. Xander guessed it sorta was. He'd never felt that exposed in his life, but in that moment, he'd really wanted to please the vampire.

When Spike had given him the order to stop though, it had sort of broken the spell, as it were. The fact that he was a slave had become horribly apparent once again. Spike wasn't even being mean to him. He'd actually been kind of comforting earlier.

He hadn't been able to help himself though; when Spike had started the usual petting again it had just been too much. He couldn't take it when the bloodsucker was like that. The fact that he could be so tender sometimes just made the fact that he owned Xander that much harder to handle. It made him feel like some sort of fucking beloved dog.

The sex, even if though it filled him with a deep sense of shame, was strangely the easiest part to take. Spike always made sure it felt okay. Part of the blonde's kink was obviously getting the dark haired man harder than humanly possible. Even when Spike had punished him it had still been all about the sex. Spanking and sex. Sexy spankings. Xander just silently wished the idiot vampire would develop a fetish for actually seeing him come. He didn't know if it was physically possible to die of frustration, but he would bet money that Spike was trying to find out.

After he'd turned away from Spike, Xander had felt guilty for his reaction. Spike had made him feel better. He'd taken his mind of off the horrible memories of his best friend's death. The vampire really had no need to take the time he had explaining things to the brunet. When Spike had asked him to "show" his gratitude, he'd been almost eager to comply, but once the deed was over, the bitterness over his whole situation had returned, and Xander had wanted to be anywhere but near the vampire.

He gotten over it pretty quickly and decided to try to smooth things over with his master, who he was sure must be pissed about his attitude. So he'd thanked the blond for his compliment and moved to cuddle against the vampire.

Spike always seemed to want to snuggle after they had sex. The vampire was always pulling Xander into his arms to sleep. He figured if he went on his own, that it should please his Master.

It looked like he was right. The vampire's arms had wrapped around him, holding him close. He’d started with the soft petting again, running his hands over Xander's body. The mortal supposed he could put up with that. It actually felt kind of nice. Spike started kissing his neck, licking and nibbling the railway spike shaped mark the Powers had placed on his throat. They just lay there against each other for quite a while. It was okay.

When the vampire finally decided he'd had enough he moved, climbing over Xander silently and reaching to the ground and pulling up a pair of jeans the mortal didn't even know he still owned. They were faded and where at least a size too small for him. Spike wordlessly handed these to him, along with a tight black T-shirt.

"Get dressed," the vampire ordered, quickly getting up and cramming himself into his own too-tight jeans.

"Um… Master these aren't my size anymore. They haven't fit me for at least a year," the brunet explained, in a voice he hoped sounded polite.

"Those should fit you properly, Kitten. Put them on. We're running late," the vampire insisted, giving his slave's cock a light caress. Oh yeah, Spike had mentioned something about going out earlier.

"But…" the mortal began, before shutting his mouth at the dirty look his master gave him. He didn't even bother asking about underwear, noticing that every pair he'd owned was now in the throw away pile. Somehow, the mortal managed to force himself into the obscenely tight pants. Forcing his raging erection inside was another matter. He could barely breathe in these jeans. After quite a bit of effort, Xander managed to tug the zipper closed over his painful hard-on.

"You look positively shaggable, Kitten," the blond whispered into his ear, leaning in to kiss his neck again. He felt ridiculously happy when Spike handed him a jacket. At least the coat would cover him up a little. He sat on the bed quietly putting on the socks and shoes the vampire provided him, his erection painfully confined it the too-tight jeans.

He was surprised when Spike ran a quick comb through his hair, taking care of any residual bed head. The blond, for his part, never seemed to have a hair out of place. The vampire donned his ever-present black duster; then reached to help him off the bed.

"Time to head out. We have a lot to do before the stores close. You can tidy this up after we get home," Spike casually informed him, gesturing towards the mess the vampire had made on the floor.

Spike had him bustled out of the apartment before Xander could even get ticked at his inconsiderate comment. The sensation of the overly tight stiff fabric shifting against his freshly shaved groin was bizarre. He hadn't thought the absence of hair would make that much difference, but Xander was now hyper aware of that entire region of his body.

He was thankful that they didn't run into any of his neighbors as they made their way down the hall and into the elevator. Spike of course groped him for the entire ride down, rubbing up against him. The blond kept a hand on his ass the entire way to the car.

Xander was grateful when Spike went to the driver's seat and took the wheel. He doubted his own ability to drive in his current state. He was pretty sure he'd have gotten them up close and personal with a telephone poll. The fact that Spike put his hand on his thigh, right after they got into the car certainly wouldn’t have helped.

"We need to get you some descent clothing Kitten," the vampire smiled, cupping the brunet's balls through his jeans. "You're too pretty to be hiding under those awful baggy clothes," the blond continued. For some strange reason Xander felt oddly proud of the chipped vampire's praise. Should he be happy that the monster who owned him thought he was nice to look at? It was nice having someone look at him that way again though, even if it was Bleach Boy.

He’d always been the doughnut boy, someone that everyone ignored. Even though he’d loved and dated two extremely beautiful women, Xander had never been able to shake the feeling that they had settled with him. He’d always been the lucky one. God knew Anya could do better than him. The only reason she’d chosen him was because he was uniquely suited to understanding her particularities. Well, maybe understand wasn’t exactly the right word, but guys who could take the way she would suddenly break into a story about giving some guy who died over a century ago boils all over his body were few and far between. Who else could she have dated? Xander knew about all the weird stuff and who she had been. It’s not like Joe Normal would have understood Halfrek suddenly popping by.

As for Cordy, she’d never made it a secret that she was dating beneath herself. Everyone had said so. Hell, Cordelia's friends had humiliated her for dating the slayerette. The brunet was only surprised it had taken as long as it had for him to screw their relationship up.

Willow had had a crush on him, but obviously that wasn’t the real deal. Hello? She was a lesbian. Maybe he’d turned her into a lesbian. Yeah, like you have that kind of power. The Xan-man now with new lesbifying action! Besides, Wills had dated Oz after she'd gotten over her puppy love for him. If you didn’t take into account that he’d almost ruined things for her while they were still in high school, he was in no way responsible for the disintegration of their relationship.

“Kitten, we’re here,” the vampire’s voice suddenly interrupted his jumbled thoughts. He hadn’t even realized they’d been heading to the mall. Spike parked the car at breakneck speed. Xander cringed when his Taurus stopped mere inches from the old Volvo in the spot in front of them. The parking lot was full of cars…that meant the mall would be jammed full of people. He’d thought the sex shop was embarrassing; at least he and Spike had been alone there. He was bound to run into people here.

Jesus, the dark haired man thought. Suddenly Xander just wanted to disappear. The vampire didn’t really expect him to go out in public this way. His jeans were so tight it was obscene. Not to mention the raging hard-on Spikey had made sure he was sporting.

“Stop dawdling, pet," his undead master griped, leaning casually against the car and opening the passenger door just a fraction. Swallowing nervously, the Scooby pushed the door a little wider and swung his legs stiffly out. Spike gracefully stepped aside as the mortal stood on shaky legs. Xander felt his face flush with heat as the vampire reached for him just as two little old ladies walked by. The blond stretched his arm around the human deftly and locked the car door, slamming it shut as he brushed up against his pet. Xander wished he could dissolve into the pavement when he heard the old women's shocked disapproving gasps as Spike grabbed his butt with both hands and brought their groins together.

The evil undead had found a new and inventive way of killing him. He was going to die of embarrassment. Maybe Spike wanted him insane. It's a well-known fact that Captain Peroxide has a thing for crazy people.

He heard Spike's soft chuckle as the seniors shuffled away. He shivered as Spike started nuzzling his neck again. Shouldn't a vamp sniffing around the whole general neck area be more upsetting?

"We're going to get you some proper clothes, Kitten. Though I'll admit the way you look in those jeans, Kitten, makes me want to take you back home and rip them off you. Won't let you hide that beautiful body anymore. You should be covered in leather and silk, not shapeless trousers and ugly flowered shirts," Spike flattered seductively, leading him to the mall entrance.

Taking the brunet by the arm, the vampire led them through the throngs of shoppers with a single-mindedness Xander had only ever seen in Cordelia before. His ex-girlfriend was a shopping dynamo. She actually scared the young man sometimes. He was fairly certain that she actually would commit assault, and possibly murder, for the last pair of size 8 1/2 red designer pumps. Shopping with his ex sort of reminded him of guerilla warfare. She took no prisoners.

Spike probably wouldn't appreciate the comparison to the former May queen. Xander couldn’t help but smile at the thought. William the Bloody was a shopaholic, who knew? Maybe it was all the years he’d spent with Dru. God knew that his master would have done anything for the mad vampiress when they were together. He snickered as an image of Dru making Spike hold her purse flickered through his mind.

“Kitten?” Spike asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Nothing, Master. I was thinking of something else,” Xander fibbed. He was losing his mind. It felt good to laugh at anything.

Spike just frowned in disapproval, not saying anything as he dragged Xander into one of the mall’s more expensive men's wear boutiques. How in God’s name was he going to pay for all this? The brunet briefly tabulated how much this would run in his head, quickly saying goodbye to all his savings.

The sales clerk looked at them distastefully as the bottled blond pulled his slave over to a rack of dark colored silk shirts. The man appeared to use even more hair gel than Angel. He sashayed over to them.

“Can I help you gentlemen with anything?” the tall lanky man drawled, giving Spike and his worn leather duster and scuffed boots a haughty look. Snob, Xander thought. What the Hell? What did he care?

“Yes, actually I quite hope so.” The words were coming out of Spikes mouth, but they sounded just like Giles. Huh? What happened to his vampire? My vampire? Where in the Hell did that come from? Spike is not my anything. Okay, so technically he’s my owner and Master. Stupid brain.

“We’ve just returned from abroad. I’m afraid my sweet boy’s wardrobe is rather lacking,” Spike continues in the same perfect upper crust accent.

The snooty clerk seemed taken aback. “What exactly were you looking for sir? Shirt, slacks, suit,” he asked a little more politely.

“You misunderstand me. We are looking for a whole new wardrobe for the boy. Aren’t we, Kitten,” the vampire smiled cupping Xander’s cheek. He couldn’t believe blood-breath had just called him that in public. He nodded, hoping that would satisfy the blond. Spike just smiled.

“Yes, sir,” the salesman’s whole demeanor changed. Xander could practically see the dollar signs in his eyes. “Did you have any particular styles in mind?”

“We want something that will show the world just how beautiful and sexy my boy is. Dark rich colors, lots of silk and leather if you have it” Spike replied smoothly. The accent was really doing a number on this jerk. The clerk hoped to help them, pulling expensive shirts and pants of the rack, day dreaming about his commission.

“Let’s see what the little tosser has for us, Kitten,” the vampire whispered, snaking his hands around the mortal’s waist, giving the illusion of a happy gay couple.

“That guy was an asshole. Why don’t you… I mean we… just go somewhere else?” the brunet hissed back.

“’Cause they have the most beautiful tight pair of leather trousers in the window and I can’t leave without seeing your beautiful arse in them. ‘Sides, going to make the wanker run all around the shop, then we’ll leave,” the vampire smirked, giving Xander’s ass a firm squeeze before walking of to join the arrogant clerk.

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