Balancing Spell

BY : Archer
Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > General
Dragon prints: 4545
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any intellectual property contained within this fan-made story from which no money has been made.

Xander laid a piece of paper on the kitchen table.

1: The Sisters of Jhe never came to Sunnydale.

2: In schools public displays of affection are ignored.

3: Buffy does not feel an intense desire to makeout with Xander.

“And you’re sure you said the statements exactly like this?” Willow asked again.

“Yes,” Xander murmured as he tried to remember. “It’s all hazy. You cast the spell and then...I’m not sure. I know I said something. But this is what I wanted to say.”

“Well, nothing feels different,” Willow said disappointed.

“It’s okay,” Buffy said as she rubbed Willow’s back. Her other hand moved reflexively toward Xander, but she pulled it back at the last second. She could control herself for at least a while longer. “I do have good news. Giles has found a weakness. The Sisters of Jhe can’t approach the Hellmouth.”

“How does that help? They can still summon that demon.”

“Yes, but you only have to fight the demon,” Xander said as he realized the advantage. “The Sisters will leave if they fail. So you can win by defeating the demon. So all you have to do is...defeat a demon with the power to bring about the Apocalypse. Okay, not as easy as I made it sound.”

“But we have a chance,” Buffy said. “We’re setting up a battle plan at the moment. We know where it is going to be, we just all have to be there to meet it.”

“Great, let’s go,” Xander said eagerly.

“Uhm, not you,” Buffy murmured as she stopped him. “It would be too dangerous are pretty distracting to me. It would be best if you stay away.”

He didn’t have time to reply as she kissed him, which always shut him up. Then she and Willow dashed out the door and toward the school.

“Well…” Xander said as he was left alone in Willow’s house. “I guess I’ll...check in with Uncle Rory about the car again.”


Bad Girls

"What, never?" Faith asked shocked.

"Now is not the time!" Buffy shot back as she struggled against the vampire.

"But you make out constantly!"

Buffy pushed the vampire off. "Because of a spell!"

"Yeah, I know," Faith said as she rolled hers over and drove a stake into its chest. "But really, it's never escalated?"

"Listen..." Buffy said as she stabbed the vampire that rushed her. "I love Xander. I just don't love love Xander."

"I've hear you moaning though when the two of you are making out," Faith pointed out.

"Do I enjoy it? I, and don't you ever tell anyone else, do. At times. Sometimes it is really inconvenient and unpleasant. Other times,'s making out and fun and Xander has gotten really good at it."

"So why don’t the two of you bang?" Faith asked directly.

Buffy blushed at the question. "Because I don't love Xander."

"Girlfriend, you need to let loose!" Faith said with a laugh. "Let's get these...hey, where did the swords go?"


"Faith is a problem," Willow said.

"What do you mean?" Xander asked in a panic. When Willow had invited him over he could tell from her voice that something wasn't right.

"Her and Buffy. Faith is a bad influence."

"Oh, right," Xander said as he calmed down. He hadn't told anyone about the night he and Faith had shared. "I'm sure it will work itself out."

Willow paused for a few seconds, "I want to try the spell again."

"The...oh, that spell. Willow, it didn't work."

"Because we were going too big!" Willow exclaimed. "Trying to prevent the Apocalypse. That's way too big of an attempt. We need to go smaller this time. Just try and get Faith to not be such a...badish person."

"Great phrase there Will. Well we could always..." Xander began, "you already have it set up, don't you?"


Xander looked at the note in his hand. Willow had written out the suggestions on what he should read.

1: Faith follows the advice of Buffy and Giles.

2: Willow is occasionally tardy for class.

3: Xander gives up twinkies.

In her mind this balanced out. He had been willing to go along with it up until she cast the spell.

He looked at the woman in front of him. She was wearing an expensive business suit, but otherwise no way to identify her.

His memories came rushing back about his meeting with her and the rules of the spell. He cast the note down on the floor. "Well, I guess that's pointless. I'm never going to remember what happens in here, am I?"

"That would defeat the purpose of making something 'normal'," she told him.

"Why even appear at all if the spell is just going to fail?"

She smiled at him, "Maybe this time it will work. Remember, two sexual, one non-sexual, and they will balance out."

"Fine, what are my subjects?"

1: Faith...

2: It is a normal in an official romantic relationship to...

3: Xander Harris...

"I have to do two sexual things; and the benefits we gain have to balance out with the losses, correct?"

"That's right," she replied. "You chose one subject, I chose two."

"But I can mix them up anyway I want, right? Like I can have one of the sexual suggestions be for the subject I suggested?"

She smiled at him, "Correct, you can mix them up anyway you like."

He nodded his head as he thought through his answers. There was a fantasy he had always wanted, even more than sex. "Xander Harris is a skilled warrior with years of practice, at the peak of human condition, and capable of holding his own with a Slayer."

She laughed as she heard this, "I thought someone in your position would use their suggestions for sexual purposes. I see your selfishness goes in a different direction. That's a pretty big change, I'll call that a 4 out of 5. Let's hear the sexual ones."

"Faith found Xander the best lover she ever had and all other men pail in comparison."

"Hmmm, that doesn't actually disadvantage you too much. We'll call it a 1. Let's see if you can make up for it on the dating side."

Xander let out a deep breath. He was hoping that would at least be a two. Buffy was going to hate him for this. "It is normal when dating to make sex tapes."

She laughed at what he said, "Well, that's going to make all sorts of fun things".

You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story