After the end

BY : Eagleblaze
Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Tara/Willow
Dragon prints: 777
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and characters dont belong to me, they belong to Joss. I'm simply using them to make a story. No profit at all is made from this.

"Willow?!" Tara called shakily, continuing to search the forest with the others. 

"As much as I hate to say it, we should probably head back." Tara snapped her head towards Xander in disbelief. Giles said something before she could interrupt, 

"I believe he's right. The sun will be down soon.. We wont be able to find her in the dark if we haven't found her in the light." Dawn inched closer to Buffy, 

"Was she still… dark when she ran out..?" Buffy shook her head, 

"She was normal.. I think it just.. Hit her what she did." 

"About that.." Dawn bit her lip, "Are we looking to bring her home or..?" Tara's eyes widened but couldn't seem to put words together. Surely they weren't planning on /killing/ Willow because of what she did?

"It.. Depends on how she is when we find her." Giles answered solemnly, turning to start back up to the road, the rest of them following. "When this happened before, Xander was just barely able to keep her from ending the world, and even after that there were… moments when she would go dark again. Not for long, but still. It took a lot to get her back before, when she had killed Warren, who she barely knew but.. She lived with Kennedy. The grief and guilt itself could be enough to push her back over the edge at any moment." Tara looked down at her feet while she walked. Would they have to kill Willow to stop her? Maybe when she ran it wasn't a show of guilt.. Maybe she was leaving to hurt someone else. Tara shook her head to rid that thought. Surely, even if Willow did relapse, they wouldn't have to /kill/ her. They could just.. Lock her up until she calmed down. Right? It's not like Willow was like any of the big bads. She was human - she was Willow. There was no way she would intentionally hurt someone. Not if her thoughts were stable. Even as she tried to convince herself of that, flashbacks of what had just happened fought it. She had /seen/ Willow kill Kennedy, and seemed to have no guilt until a little bit after. It wasn't a quick death either. She had taunted the young slayer then shot some sort of dark magic into her that made her scream. Tara didn't want to know why she screamed. Tara sighed, taking one last glance into the woods, hoping to see red hair. When all she saw was trees, she climbed into the car solemnly. She would just have to hope that Willow came back to them. 

 

***

 

Willow had watched them search for her from her place in the tree, wishing she hadn't done what she had. Wishing she could climb down and go home with them. Wishing everything could go back to normal. Before Tara died. Before she killed Warren. Before she met Kennedy. Before she had been held prisoner in her own home. Before she had nearly died from a bottle to the stomach.. Before she had killed Kennedy in front of Tara. Warren had done tons of crime before she had killed him - murdered two people.. But Kennedy only hurt her.. Until Tara came back and Willow stood up to her. But from personal experience, grief and a burning need for revenge could do a lot to a person. Had Willow just pushed Kennedy over the edge as Tara's death had with her? Then she got everyone to turn against Kennedy until she ended up killing a bunch of people at the hospital.. And then Willow killed her brutally. And.. As much as she hated it.. There was a part of her that was relieved Kennedy was dead. Part of her that felt safer with the slayer gone. But that decision wasn't really up to her, was it? To kill people when they did something that angered her. Isn't that what Warren did? Was she as bad - if not worse - than he was? She had always thought she was a good guy, but was she? It wasn't up to her who deserved to live or die. She had pulled Buffy from heaven because she thought she was saving her, but was that up to her? And now the same thing had happened to Tara, and the blonde had been traumatized by the events that happened - she was afraid of her.. And with good reason. Maybe she should go down there and let them kill her. But she knew she couldn't. She couldn't put Tara through the same pain she had felt when she died. Even if she ran away, and Tara never saw her again, it would be better than having to watch her be killed - or even have to do it herself. There would be hope. So she stayed in the tree. When her stomach started to rumble in hunger, she thought for sure the others would hear it and find her, but they never did. Her whole body was aching and splintered from sitting in the tree, especially her bare feet and legs. The hospital gown was tattered too, giving little protection against the unforgiving bark. Finally the gang gathered together, but Willow couldn't make out their words. She didn't know if she should be relieved, or disappointed when they started back up the hill, all of them climbing in the car. Then the car drove off. Willow forced herself to climb back down the tree, groaning and grimacing. She knew she had to make sure she survived. If Tara were to find her dead body, it would be no better than watching her be killed. So she stumbled to a rock, sitting down gingerly. She examined the knife in her shoulder with a wince. She couldn't leave it in there or it would get infected, or go deeper and hit an artery or vein. But if she just pulled it out, she would bleed to death and it would get infected anyway. She tore one of the sleeves from the tattered remains of the gown, hating to take more of the scarce cloth covering her. Willow looked back to the knife, biting her lip. 

"Here goes nothing.." She mumbled, grimacing when she wrapped her hand around the handle, the cloth held in the same hand. She took a couple deep breaths, starting to pull the knife out with a small wail of pain, panting when she finally got it out. She quickly tied the sleeve over it, tight enough to stop the bleeding and cover the wound to prevent infection. But goddess did it hurt like hell. She grabbed the bloody knife with a grimace, wiping the blade on a nearby bush, deciding it might come in handy. She toddled back over to the tree, putting the handle of the knife in her mouth reluctantly before starting to climb, groaning quietly. She found she was in a different tree when she saw a fork in it, but gratefully shifted into it, making herself as comfortable as she could. It was wide enough that she didn't think she would fall out, but hidden by enough branches in case the gang came back. She reached to one of the sturdier branches that weren't directly next to where she lay, stabbing the knife in the bark for safe keeping. She eventually fell into a restless sleep.



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