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True Strength	By : wolfshark Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 3884 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-True Strength
- 1
True Strength

Overall Rating NC-17

After the events "Not Fade Away," Spike is taken by the military and broken. Xander has to put him back together.

A/N - This was written as my Nanowrimo story last November. Several people looked over it for me - especially wesleysgirl and ladycat777.

Warnings - There is offscreen non-con and abuse, as well D/s and mild s/m.

Prologue

They should have guessed. Hell, they should have known.

But they had no idea that Wolfram and Hart would have such poor control over the demons that they sent in. Within forty-eight hours, Los Angeles was burning. Within seventy-two, the military was moving in. And within a week, everyone in the world knew demons were real.

Well, that was an exaggeration. Most of Africa and Asia just blinked and thought how it was about time the west came to its senses. And Europe - especially Great Britain - had the Watchers to handle the spin.

But the United States - which had always been in a stubborn state of denial about the supernatural - suddenly had its face rubbed in the fact that demons and vampires were real, that the bogeyman under the bed really was more than a child's bad dream.

And their response was a typically heavy handed one.

Within days, demons that looked like demons were dead. Even former gods were not immune, as Illyria found out. There wasn't much that a suitably high dose of explosives could not deal with.

Those that could, fled. Those that couldn't, hid.

At first, it looked like vampires might survive the purge, but those hopes were quickly dashed. Public buildings added a pulse check to the metal detectors already omnipresent. Citizen's groups tracked anyone behaving suspiciously. And the hunters became the hunted in cemeteries and parks.

Angel was one of the first to die. Too high profile for his vampiric nature to stay a secret, he was dusted as he tried to get to a flight to England, where Giles had promised a bolthole.

Spike just... disappeared.

Everyone assumed he'd been dusted.

They were wrong.

Prologue Part Two

Xander was part of the clean up crew rebuilding in Los Angeles. The money was good, and there was a desperate need for skilled labor that wouldn't run away from "Demon Central" as it was known. As much as the other members of the crew speculated about demons, making up stuff on the fly about what they wanted and where they came from, he just kept his mouth shut.

After all, what could he say?

"Yeah, I've been fighting demons since I was in high school, but you know, some of them aren't so bad, really?"

No one would believe the first part of it, and even if they did, the second would just get him harassed into quitting the crew, if he wasn't killed as a "demon lover" first.

So he didn't say anything, just helped demolish buildings too damaged by fire and weapons to ever be made stable again, and shore up those that could be made safe once more, and fought the urge to talk.

Buffy and Willow were safe in England, and that was a damn good thing, because anyone who exhibited "abnormal" abilities was either being cut down instantly or captured and "tested" - even if they were human. Xander and his crew had come across more than one example of the kind of testing that was being done. Even worse were the rumors that the military were back up to their old tricks, capturing some demons to use them to hunt others. He didn't want to believe that they'd be that stupid after Adam, but it wouldn't surprise him anymore.

It made him sick, and even more angry at Angel and his crew for unleashing this on them. This was all their fault, and then Angel had to go and die before he could clean it up.

Many of the guys on the crew speculated that they weren't really demons, but aliens come to take over the earth, a la "Independence Day." That made him laugh, but they had no idea why. He certainly couldn't tell them the story of the mayor and blowing up the school - though that's all he could think of .

He was pretty sure that some of the guys had caught on to the fact that he knew more than he was telling, but they accepted and didn't ask questions for the most part. Even if he was quiet, they mostly accepted him, and no one wanted to see what would happen to someone asking questions about demons - or what would happen to those who had answers.

Chapter One - five years after Not Fade Away

Los Angeles was populated again.

Well, it had always been populated - by those too poor, too desperate or just too dumb to leave. But now it had a thriving population - enough to reopen larger stores, enough for some specialty shops. It would probably never be as large as it once was, but it could be home for some.

Xander hurried through the local mall. He'd only stopped by for latest Trek movie, and now that he'd picked it up at the video store, he just wanted to get out - away from the crowds and the rowdy kids.

A flash of black in the corner of his eye caught his attention and without thought he turned to track on it.

That looks an awful lot like Spike - but he's been dead for years. The man in question was walking slowly through the mall. He had none of Spike's old flash or fury - even the duster was different, cloth instead of leather - but the lines of his face were similar. The biggest single difference was the hair, though, golden brown instead of the stark white that he'd known.

And then the collar around his neck and the soldier behind Spike clued him in. Spike apparently had been recaptured - and turned into a hunting guide. As Xander watched, Spike stopped dead, head cocking and eyes searching. Before they could find him, Xander slipped into the crowd and away.

There was no real question that that was Spike, somehow. He wanted to doubt, wanted to make up something that would explain another vampire - and it had to be a vampire with that collar - who could look so much like Spike. While he was even thinner than Xander remembered, almost gaunt now, there was no real mistaking it. The question was what - if anything - he should do about it. Should he try to find Spike, set him free? Ignore it? Maybe get a slayer or two here so that if he couldn't get him free, he could at least stake the poor bastard, who Xander knew would rather be dead than a prisoner.

Xander had usually hated Spike, an antipathy that was mutual. But when the chips had been down, Spike had come through and they owed him big time. Doing something to help him would at least let them come close to paying him back.

First things first. Picking up the phone as soon as he got home, he called Giles.

"Hello?"

"Hey, G-man!"

"Xander, how many times do I have to ask you not to call me that?" Xander could hear the familiar fond exasperation in Giles' voice.

"Oh, at least a hundred more times. You'll never guess who I saw today."

"I have no times for guessing games - especially not this late. Who did you see?"

"I saw Spike."

Dead silence on the other end of the phone. Xander knew that the assumption was that either Spike had managed to get out of the US and was lying low somewhere, or that he'd been dusted like Angel.

"Are you sure it was him?"

"Well, I don't know - his face was the same, if a lot thinner. He was wearing a duster, even if it was a cheap cotton one instead of leather. And oh, yeah, he was wearing a collar and accompanied by a unit of soldiers."

Xander could hear the muttered obscenity on the other end of the phone, but for Giles' sake, didn't say anything. "They got him, then. I was afraid of this when we couldn't find him in any of his known hiding places."

"Yeah, I know. The question is what do we do about it?"

"You? You don't do anything. You made it very clear that you were retired the last time we talked. I'll figure out something at this end."

"Aw, come on, Giles. You know that when it comes to paying my debts, I'm in. I'm just not willing to come to Britain and sit behind a desk all day." Unspoken was the fact that there was part of Xander that missed the adventure, and he wasn't willing to let the Watchers wrap him in cotton wool just because he was missing an eye.

"All right. I suppose you have a point there. For right now, don't do anything. I may be able to resolve this rather easily. Just be aware that Spike may not be the same person you knew - he'd already had a hell of a time at Wolfram and Hart, and that was before the foolhardy attempt to take out the Black Thorn. We don't know when he was taken prisoner, either, so god only knows what they've done to him there."

"You'll call me when you have some idea of what we're going to do, right?"

"Right. Take care, Xander, and keep me posted as to what happens."

Hanging up the phone, he puttered about, waiting for a call back.

Hours later he was still waiting when he gave up and went to bed.

***

Xander was woken up by a fierce pounding on the door. A glance at the clock showed that it was still before dawn. Hastily checking that the prosthetic was still in place, he stumbled to open it.

Then all he could do was stand in shock for an unacceptably long time, because it was a soldier, with Spike - on a leash. The soldier held out a clipboard and said, "I'm here for the delivery of Hostile Seventeen. He's been ordered into your custody."

Xander rubbed under his eye. "What? Who ordered it? What do you mean, ordered?"

"I'm sure I don't know, sir. But I have orders to get your signature on the receipt and deliver him to you. He's your problem, now."

Shrugging, Xander signed the offered form and took Spike's leash and the fat envelope that was offered to him with an expression of distaste. Somehow, he thought it might be a bad idea if he indicated that he knew Spike, or was relieved at how easy this was. It could get not easy very quickly if he did.

"Look, what do I- "

But the soldier had already turned around and was on his way down the porch steps. As soon as he'd gotten in the waiting car and driven away, he turned to face the vampire. "Spi -"

"You need to invite me in, sir. Unless you wish me to stand out here?"

Even Spike's voice was different, flat and quiet. "Oh, right. C'mon in, uh, Seventeen."

"Thank you, sir." Spike stepped through the door and came to almost parade rest right inside the door. Silent, still, it was really, really freaky to see him acting like this.

Removing the leash in disgust, he dropped it with the packet on the coffee table. "Uh, make yourself comfortable while I try to wake up, okay?"

Spike nodded, and Xander took himself off to the bathroom. A hot shower, clean teeth, and some clothes later, he felt ready to deal with whatever life threw at him - even if it threw a silent Spike.

When Xander came back out, Spike didn't look like he'd moved at all. Xander picked up his copy of the receipt and walked over to the couch, not checking to see if he was being followed. Picking up the phone for the second time in twenty four hours, he called Giles, who confirmed that yes, the council had pulled some strings with the British military, who'd pulled some on the US side. Result, one Spike on his doorstep at oh, god, early in the morning.

"What am I supposed to do with him, Giles? He's acting like he doesn't even know who I am, and according to this paperwork I now own him."

"Well, it seemed the most expedient way to get Spike out of their hands and into some that were... friendlier."

Xander turned to stare at the silent Spike who looked as if he was staring into space. Friendlier. Yeah. Xander had heard rumors about what was done to train hunting guides, and to break Spike to this level, god only knew what they'd done. But it was probably worse than any of the rumors had it.

Giles cleared his throat and then coughed. "Can you send him to us?"

And that was the first indication that Spike had been listening, because suddenly he was on his knees in front of Xander, eyes locked on the floor, hands behind his back. Every line of muscle was tight and clearly miserable. "Giles, I'm going to have to call you back. Don't do anything yet, okay?"

Without listening to Giles' response, he hung up the phone and looked down at the kneeling man. "Spike?"

"Please don't send me away." Spike's voice still had that peculiar flat tone, that almost managed to camouflage the terror behind it. Xander tried to wrap his mind around this as Spike continued. "I'll be good for you."

Xander sat, shocked, as Spike started to run his hands up his thighs, petting and stroking. It took him a minute to realize what he was doing, and then he stood up as if someone lit a fire under his ass. "What the hell?" Xander might have come out as gay a long time before, but he'd never even thought of Spike in that way.

Spike pulled in on himself, folding his arms across his chest and staring hard at the floor. Xander was more than a little surprised it hadn't caught fire, as hard as Spike was staring at it.

"Look, Spike. Just talk to me, okay? Why don't you want to go to Giles?"

"My name is Hostile Seventeen."

"What?" Xander was getting more confused by the moment.

"My name is Hostile Seventeen, not Sp-sp- what you just said." Spike finally looked up at him, his face a mass of anguish.

Chapter Two

Xander stared at him in confusion. What the hell did he mean, his name was Hostile Seventeen? Did Spike not know who he was, after all? Did he have some sort of amnesia, or had they wiped his mind... His head spun with one possibility after another presenting itself from science fiction.

Finally, he decided to start with basics, hoping that would give him some sort of footing to proceed with. "Look, Spi - Seventeen. Let's start with, have you eaten today? We can go from there."

Spike shook his head, returning his look to the floor. "It's not a feeding day."

"What the hell do you mean, feeding day?"

Spike gestured towards the packet he had sat on the table, having completely forgotten about it. Confusion edging over towards anger, he tore open the flap. It turned out to have a small black remote and a book of instructions. Opening it at random, he read out loud, "Hostiles are most effectively governed using negative reinforcement, but extraordinary actions may, rarely, warrant positive reinforcement. This may include, but isn't limited to, extra rations, access to entertainment, sexual release..."

Xander dropped the notebook in disgust. "What is this, your operating instructions, like you're a DVD player or something?"

Somehow, he wasn't surprised when Spike nodded.

"Okay, look, I'll read the damn thing later, but right now, I want to know how long it's been since you've eaten."

Spike squirmed, but answered. "Two days."

"You haven't eaten since Thursday? And when is your next 'feeding day?'"

"Monday, sir."

Well, no wonder he looked positively gaunt. Vampires could skip a day here or there, but they generally needed to eat every day or they lost weight. "Right. First order of business is finding out where I can get some blood for you."

Opening up the phone book, he started flipping through trying to find a butcher shop. Finally finding one, he called them and explained that he was having British guests for the next few days and one of them wanted to make a blood pudding - could he possibly buy a gallon or so of blood? He could? Fantastic. If he combined it with some other things, could he have that delivered? Great.

When he hung up the phone, he was disturbed by the look that Spike was giving him. Trying to think of a way to get a little space without shoving Spike away - god knows, he didn't want to give him any more "negative reinforcement," - he asked, "So, did you shower today?"

A headshake.

Trying not to shout out, "Score," he instead sent Spike to the shower, with instructions to not come out till the hot water ran out. He knew how much Spike hated to be dirty - almost as much as he hated to be cold - and figured that with an order like that he'd actually have to pry him out of the bathroom.

That gave him time to go and fetch a pair of sweats - way too big, but warm - and toss them onto the toilet seat. Then he started to go through the notebook that came with Spike. Hopefully it would give him some idea of what was going on.

***

When the doorbell rang, he started, having gotten completely lost in the complexities of the notes that had come with Spike.

Paying absent-mindedly, he stashed the steaks that he'd ordered in the freezer and poured a mug of the pig's blood for Spike. Heating it up, he brought it back out to the living room just as he finally heard the shower cut off.

After a few minutes, Spike appeared and Xander didn't even try to hold back the snigger at how he looked in his sweats. He was pretty much swimming in them, and even Spike looked fairly disgusted at it.

"I know - we're going to need to get you some new clothes. Sit down, drink your blood, and then maybe we can talk." Xander's eye was drawn to the collar still around Spike's neck.

Spike hesitated; staring at the mug like it contained the answer to life and the universe, but didn't actually move. "What? I know you don't care for pig, but it's what I could get on short notice."

There was another pause, and then Spike sank gracefully to his knees next to the coffee table, reaching out cautiously for the mug. Xander started to say something, to tell him to sit on the couch, but as soon as Spike had his hands on the mug, he brought it to his mouth, drinking it as fast as he could as if he expected to have it taken away at any moment.

Xander had read enough of the instructions at this point to realize that Spike expected exactly that - that most likely it happened to him more than once. So instead of saying anything, he simply waited.

It didn't take long before Spike had drained the mug to the last drop. Slowly, he set the mug down and then lowered his head, licking his lips. "You know, there's a whole gallon of it in the 'fridge if you want more."

Pause. Spike then shook his head, as if he was afraid what this generosity of Xander's was going to cost him. But Xander just sighed and picked up the mug, taking it to the kitchen and pouring it full. Sixty seconds later, and he carried out the warm cup to Spike. "Okay, first rule - if you're hungry, you eat. Forget this crap about 'feeding day' - you will eat every day, as much as you need. I want you healthy, okay?" Xander didn't want to think about why it was so important to him to get Spike healthy. It just was, like the sky was blue or water was wet.

Xander waited until Spike nodded, and then asked, "So, are you still hungry?" Spike paused long enough that Xander was sure he wasn't going to answer and then shook his head no.

"Alright, then. Now, why don't you come sit on the couch while I finish skimming this."

***

Spike did as he was told, still silently. The quiet was starting to really wig out Xander, but he didn't say anything, just opening the operating guide and starting to flip through it. The damn thing really did read like a dvd instruction manual - the same stilted language, the same directions that you had to practically read backwards to get them to make sense.

The hostile will typically fight conditioning at first, requiring that the handler be extremely quick in triggering the mechanism...

Keeping the hostile underfed will allow for greater control...

Constant supervision is necessary so that the hostile takes no unpunished independent action...

Hostiles should be taught to respond to their number, not whatever name that they choose to use...

Triggering of the device at the least sign of independent thought is a necessary part of the training process. One should feel no pity or sympathy towards the hostile as they do not feel pain the way that humans do...

By the time he was done flipping through it, he was beyond angry. No wonder Spike was being so, so, so... un-Spike-like. He'd been tortured by the bastards till he'd broken. At this point, he was operating like a damn robot - not thinking at all.

Setting the book down on the coffee table so as to resist the urge to throw it across the room, Xander stared at Spike, not really seeing him. Is it possible to fix him - make him the Spike that I know? Or should I just send him to Giles to be cared for? But he already knew the answer to that - he was going to do everything he could to help Spike become Spike again. He owed him that much for saving Buffy and the world.

***

When Xander picked up the remote sitting on the table with the other papers, Spike flinched and then slid to his knees, as if he was waiting for punishment. "No, Sp - Seventeen. I'm putting this away - I'll never use it on you."

Spike looked up at that, with an expression of doubt on his face. While his voice may have become flat and emotionless, he still wrote every emotion large across his sharp features, and they clearly said, "If you expect me to believe you you're dumber than you look. I've been lied to before."

"Seriously. Watch." And with that, Xander stood and carried the evil thing over to the sideboard, to be locked inside. The look of relief on Spike's face was something that made Xander grateful to see - he hated the fact that the military had taken Spike again, but to have reduced him to this was an even worse crime as far as he was concerned.

Having turned the key and returned to the key, he patted the sofa and said, "Okay, so come back up here and talk to me. How did they get you, anyway?" But Spike just shook his head, staring at his hands. "What? You can't talk about that, either?" Another headshake.

"What can you talk about? I know you can still speak, Spike, I've heard you."

Spike looked frustrated. "Sir?"

Xander sighed. This was going to be difficult. Good thing he had some time off coming from work. Leaving Spike sitting on the couch, he called his supervisor and asked for a week off for "personal reasons." Max agreed, and Xander hung up, standing there with one hand on the phone and staring at Spike. Picking up the phone again, he called Giles.

"It looks like they really did a job on him, Giles. He won't even respond to his own name - just his number. He flinches if I move too fast, if I raise my voice..."

Giles was silent for a moment, then spoke slowly, as if he was trying to feel out each word before he said it. "It almost sounds as if he's reacting like an abuse victim, which is not too far off from the truth, Xander. Are you certain that you want to try to deal with this? You could send him to me, you know. I can see what we can do to help him."

"No. I want to at least try, before I send him away. But I could use some help, if you could."

"Like what, Xander? You know I'll do whatever I can to help you if it's possible."

"I really could use a source for blood - especially human blood. He's really badly out of condition - they were starving him, Giles! I've got enough for a few days, but there's a limit to how much I'm going to be able to buy without a good excuse."

Giles cleared his throat, and then said, "Surely the local butcher shops - "

"I'm in Los Angeles, Giles. Only a few butcher shops have reopened since it was flattened, and most of those are Kosher. Once I've gone through the ones that aren't, I'm shit out of luck unless I want someone to connect the dots and realize I have a vampire living here. You got him away from the military, but I can't protect him from a mob."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. Finally, he said, "Giles? We owe it to him to see if I can fix him. Give me a couple of weeks and if I can't get it done, we'll reevaluate the two of us coming to England, okay?"

Giles cleared his throat. "You promise you'll come as well if you can't make it work there?"

Xander rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll come too. Now, can you work something out or not?"

"You'll keep in touch about your progress. And yes, I'll figure out something in the next day or two."

"Thanks, Giles. I'll call you in three days, okay?"

"That's fine, Xander. I trust that you'll ask if you need any other help, and Xander? I have faith in you."

Xander blinked in surprise, but before he could get rid of the sudden lump in his throat, Giles had disconnected the call.

Hanging up, Xander turned back to Spike, who looked away just as he looked over. "It's fine, Spike. You're entitled to know what's happening to you. I won't keep secrets from you, either. Now, let's get started."

***

Two hours later, after meticulously phrasing and rephrasing questions, Xander had learned only a little.

Spike wouldn't or couldn't talk about his capture or his early days back in the hands of the military. He'd been used mostly to track down other vampires, as well as being expected to stake them on sight. He didn't fight that, which made sense since he'd been fighting demons with the scoobies and Angel for several years. What he'd fought was the other conditioning.

Xander got the feeling that the single largest sticking point - and the one that Spike had received the most punishment for - had been the use of his name. Spike consistently refused to answer to anything but "Seventeen," and every time Xander said, "Spike," he flinched.

Whenever Xander got frustrated or upset over the partial answers and evasions, Spike would pull in on himself, and the one time that Xander got angry, Spike had slid back to his knees, reaching out and offering to do "whatever sir wanted." It was clear that he wasn't offering to chug a beer and watch Dr. Who reruns.

The worst part of that was that Xander could see a point at which he'd take advantage of that offer. It had been a long time since he'd had a lover, and his right hand could get pretty lonely after all that time and there was no denying that Spike was attractive, and at least on the surface, willing.

But he knew that if he did, he'd never forgive himself. And worse, if - no, when, not if. Never think if - Spike got himself back together he wouldn't forgive him either.

But oh, it was so, so tempting.

Instead, Xander gently helped Spike up on the couch and kept up the questioning, trying to force himself to look at Spike's eyes, not his lips. Getting direct answers was next to impossible, but gradually Xander started to get enough information to be able to fill in blanks.

As far as he was concerned, the first thing was to break some of the conditioning around Spike's name, because he flat refused to call him Seventeen. But, never having dealt with anything like this before, he turned to the one expert in the room to see how it can be done.

"Your name is Spike. You know that, right?"

Flinch. Headshake.

"Spike. Not Seventeen. Not hostile. Spike. If you think about it, you know it, down in your gut."

Another flinch, and maybe the tiniest of nods.

"So, how can we make it so that you start responding to the right name again?"

Spike looked meaningfully over at the drawer where Xander had locked the controller and then back, but didn't say anything.

"I told you that I wasn't going to use that damn thing. Are you afraid that I lied - that I'll zap you if you tell me?"

He shook his head, finally speaking. "No, you're going to have to use it, sir. I was trained with pain, and it's going to take pain to break it."

"What? No!" Xander exclaimed. "I'm not going to hurt you!"

Voice flat, Spike responded, "You have another option, sir. Don't retrain me - maybe the British gentleman can find a use for me if you don't have one." But the shaking of his hands gave away the fear that this gave him. Xander wasn't so sure what scared Spike so badly about Giles, but it was obvious that he was terrified.

"Let me... just let me think on this, okay?" Xander could remember the pain that the chip put Spike through, and watching it malfunction and fire randomly was a terrible memory of the last days of Sunnydale.

He couldn't do it - he just couldn't. But maybe... he remembered some of the pictures that he'd flipped through on the 'net when he was coming to grips with his sexuality. "Does it have to be the damned chip? Could we try something else instead?"

Spike looked thoughtful. "I... I don't know, sir. Maybe something else will work."

Setting that aside to think about, Xander asked the question that he most dreaded the answer to.

"Spike? Do you remember who I am?"

Chapter Three

Instead of answering, Spike just looked down at his hands. "Spike? Do you?"

Spike's shoulders rose in sort of a helpless shrug. "I'm sorry, sir."

Xander wasn't willing to leave it there - he couldn't believe that any sort of brainwashing could hold up to the history he had with the vampire. "I'm Xander, Spike. We've lived together, fought together. You must remember something about me?"

Spike's head shook, then nodded in a sort of a powerless confusion. "I... I don't know, sir. My memories from... before are all confused and mixed up." Suddenly, Spike seemed to get angry. "Why are you asking me all these questions, anyway? I don't know what you want from me, but it doesn't matter. I'm yours, they gave me to you, just use me, alright?"

"I'm not going to do that, Spike. You may not remember me, but I remember you, and when you get your memory back - and you will - you'll be glad that I don't just do what you're saying. We may not have always liked each other - hell, most of the time I hated you - but you earned the right to be treated right many, many times over and I'm not going to let the military screw you out of it."

Spike sat back, looking disgusted and distrustful.

"Alright, look. I know I'm giving you a lot to take in, and you don't really have a reason to trust me. But I'm telling you, right here and now, that I'm only going to do what I have to do to help you. I'm not out to take advantage of you. I'm going to get you back on your feet, and then you'll have choices. I'll make sure of it." Xander knew that he looked fierce right that minute by the way that Spike winced and pulled back, but he hoped something of his words would get through.

***

An hour later, Xander gave up in frustration. He hadn't gotten enough sleep to be able to think clearly, and Spike's consistent submissiveness was wigging him out beyond belief.

He decided that, more than anything else, he needed to get out of the house. Spike looked equally frustrated, so Xander said, "Tell you what. Why don't we go get clothes and stuff for you? I know it's still sunny outside, but one of the malls reopened last week, so we can go and get you at least the basics, so you aren't left with my sweats, okay?"

Nodding, Spike stood and picked up the leash off the coffee table to hand to him. Xander refused to take it. "Are you going to run if I take you out?"

Spike shook his head. "No, sir. But I thought..."

Xander waited, but Spike didn't finish the sentence. "What?"

"I thought that it might make it easier for you to trust me."

"Spike, the problem isn't that I don't trust you. The problem appears to be that you don't trust me. So, if you're not going to run, then I say we just go - let me go get a blanket, and I guess you'll need to ride in the trunk until we get to the mall, okay?"

Looking resigned, Spike nodded and dropped the leash onto the table again.

***

The mall was thankfully slow, with a remarkable lack of teenagers. Spike continued to be passive, letting Xander take him first to the Levi's store for a couple of pairs of jeans and then to Old Navy for t shirts and over shirts. The only time he visibly balked was when Xander went into Wilson Leather. "There's nothing I need in there, sir."

Xander looked back at Spike, who was standing in the mall hallway with a look of longing on his face. "If you think I'm letting you wander around in that cheap ass coat, you're crazy. You need a new duster, and that's that. Now, let's go."

As Spike reached out to touch the soft leather with trembling hands, Xander's attention was caught once again by the collar. "Hold on a second, Spike."

He froze, as if he expected punishment, and Xander hastened to reassure him. "You're not in trouble. I just want to look at something."

The collar was thick leather, so tight that Xander couldn't even slip a finger underneath it. There were no buckles, just rivets where it had been closed around Spike's neck, and a large D ring for the leash Xander's mind supplied. "We're going to have to figure out how to get this off without hurting you when we get home."

Spike lifted one hand to his neck, as if he'd forgotten the collar was there - which he probably had, since it looked like it had been there for a long time.

Without thinking about it, the casual touch on Spike's neck turned into something that was almost a caress, and Spike bowed his head to it. Realizing what he was doing, Xander pulled his hand back and said, "Let's find you a coat."

For the first time that afternoon, Spike actually showed interest, and while he wouldn't venture an opinion when Xander asked him what he thought, his face gave it away. After a while, Xander just stopped asking and had Spike try on one after another until he could tell that he had found the one that Spike wanted.

Paying for the coat, he and Spike picked up all of the bags and started towards the shoe store - the last thing that Xander wanted to get Spike was some new Docs. Suddenly, Spike dropped behind him and stopped, a small whine coming up in his throat.

"Spike? What is it?" Xander looked around, trying to find the cause of Spike's behavior, but it only took a second to spot the group of soldiers making their way through the mall and headed straight for them.

Xander stepped in front of Spike and waited, a smile on his face, hiding the fact that his heart was going triple time and grateful as hell that he had the receipt that he'd signed that morning.

When the group of six soldiers had come to a stop, Xander asked, "So, guys, what can I do you for?"

"You can tell us what Seventeen is doing out of his pen when he's not working - and why he's with you," one of them growled.

Oh, shit, thought Xander, but he kept the same smile plastered on his face. "I'm still not certain of that myself, guys, but I have his papers here. Would you like to see them?"

"Yes, we would," Growly one said. His uniform said "Jackson" above the front pocket. Two of the others started to circle around him towards Spike. Xander took a step back, not so subtly pressing Spike into the wall with himself right in front.

Jackson took the offered papers and looked them over. You could tell when he found something interesting because all the blood drained from his face. "Georges, Tyler, come away from Seventeen at once. General Tucker ordered him into this... citizen's custody."

As the two soldiers stepped back to the rest of the group, Jackson said, "Sir, if I may have a word with you?"

Xander had a feeling that he didn't really want to hear anything that this guy had to say, but he had to keep up appearances. "Sure." Turning to Spike, he said, "Stay here and watch the bags. I'll be right back."

Taking a few steps away, he turned so he could keep his eye on Spike. "Something I could do for you?"

"Yes, sir. I've... worked with Seventeen in the past, and while he's a good attack dog, you want to watch him. He's prone to thoughts of independence and superiority if you don't knock him down hard, and the idea of letting him out without a leash if you aren't armed - do you at least have a stake? Would you like some examples of the best ways to control him?"

As much as Xander hated himself for not saying where Jackson could stick it, he didn't want Jackson to demonstrate the right way to "discipline" Spike - that would betray what little trust he'd already started to build. "No, thanks. I'm pretty sure I've got it under control. We've not had a problem so far, anyway. It appears you guys did a pretty good job of breaking him." Somehow, he managed to not choke on the words.

"Yeah, well, once you show him who's boss, Seventeen can be an obedient little bitch. Just got to remember that you're always the one in charge."

Xander wasn't sure how he managed not to throttle the man, because even without any sort of telepathy, he was picking up on the lust and desire for causing pain behind the man's words. He got the feeling that the nasty little remote wasn't how this guy controlled Spike.

Spike was looking paler and paler, and all Xander wanted to do was get him out of there. Fuck getting the shoes till later. "Thanks for the advice, sir, but I think I can handle it. If I have any questions, I know who I can call, though." It just wouldn't be Jackson. Giles was always good for advice.

"If you're sure, sir, we'll leave you to your shopping. Feel free to call for advice or if you decide you want those examples. Men! Let's go!"

And with that, the soldiers turned and walked away.

It wasn't until they had turned to go into one of the coffee shops that Xander felt like he could breathe again. Turning back to Spike and lowering his voice, he whispered, "You okay, Spike?" Spike just looked at him with huge, terrified eyes. "Yeah, I know. Let's just get out of here, shall we?"

Gathering up the bags, they turned and headed towards the exit.

Chapter four

Once home, Xander discovered that when he'd thought of Spike being submissive before, he wasn't even close. This was submissive Spike, on his knees, pleading to be allowed to thank Xander for not returning him to the soldiers for punishment.

Begging to be punished for not trusting Xander enough.

Xander tried saying "You're welcome." That didn't work. He tried ordering Spike to put away his clothes. Spike obeyed, then immediately returned to his position at Xander's feet, looking at him with pleading, worshipful eyes. He tried ignoring him, going about his day as if he didn't have a vampire kneeling on the living room floor. He even tried telling him that if he wanted to thank him, he could respond to Spike without the flinch that Xander had almost grown used to.

Nothing helped.

Finally, Xander cracked. He knew that he was wrong, but he couldn't stand it anymore. "Fine. Thank me. But you're not being punished because I won't hurt you.

Spike immediately rose on his knees so that he could reach for Xander's belt and started to undo it. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Xander asked, his voice squeaking.

"Thanking you," Spike said simply, and started working Xander's fly open. "Unless... would you prefer to fuck me? I could do that too."

"No! I mean, Spike, you don't have to do this. I don't expect you to blow me, or let me fuck you! That's not why I'm doing this!"

"But sir, you said I could thank you?" Spike sank back on his heels, looking at him as if he was going to cry from frustration.

Xander ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of a way around this. Trying not to think about that mouth wrapped around his cock. Failing.

Finally he just threw up his hands in frustration. "Okay, but after this, no more, right? We're even?" Spike looked as if he was going to disagree but just clamped his mouth shut and nodded.

With a sigh, Xander finished opening his own fly and then stood there as Spike pulled his pants down around his thighs. Spike pulled back far enough to look up at him and then gently pushed so that Xander sat on the edge of the couch. Immediately lowering his head, he started licking - tight little cat licks up the shaft of Xander's still soft cock.

By the time he got to the head, it was starting to get hard, and when Spike took it in and started suckling it, it was only a matter of moments before it was fully erect.

Xander would have been embarrassed by how fast he got hard, but he was too lost in what Spike was doing with his clever, clever mouth to worry about it. Instead, he whimpered and clutched the couch. When Spike took him all the way in and swallowed, he damn near came right there.

But some part of him - the nasty, secretive part of him that he'd never admit to, the part that thought hey, he'd earned this - made him stop and grab Spike's soft hair, guiding him in a slow, up and down motion that was guaranteed to drive him out of his mind.

When he thought he couldn't take anymore, he tugged lightly on Spike's hair, making him stop. "Gonna come too fast," he said in way of apology. Spike just smiled and bent his head, licking at Xander's balls. With a cry, he arched his back, trying desperately to spread his legs and failing.

Spike was making him insane. That was all there was to it. He was babbling, begging for Spike not to stop and when Spike - with that incredible, agile tongue - ran it from his balls all the way up to the head of his cock in one, long continuous lick, that was it, he couldn't take anymore.

"I'm going to - going to come... Oh, fuck..." And Spike took his cock back into his mouth and swallowed hard, and with that, Xander came so hard that he wouldn't be surprised if his balls had turned inside out.

As soon as he felt like he had bones again, instead of jello, he pulled Spike to his feet and into his lap. "That was fucking amazing. What can I do for you?"

Spike didn't answer at first, but when Xander's hand slipped under the waist of his sweats, he shuddered. Xander froze. "Want me to stop?"

"No... It's just been a long time since someone touched me other than for pain, sir."

Xander resumed stroking the soft skin right there, and whispered, "No pain, Spike. This is a reward, okay? Just, please try to call me Xander? Not sir."

Nodding, Spike said just as quietly, "Yes, Xan-xander."

The sound of Spike finally saying his name got right into Xander, and he pulled his head down for a hungry kiss. For a moment, Spike stayed passive, but then he made a whimpering sound and returned the kiss as fiercely as Xander was giving it.

When Xander finally broke the kiss, needing air, Spike blinked down at him with huge blue eyes, and Xander realized he couldn't just leave Spike hurt and broken like this. He had to fix him. His reasons weren't anything he wanted to look to closely at, though. They were just too scary to think about.

But he didn't say any of this, just urging Spike to slide off his lap so he could slither off the couch to his knees. The look on Spike's face turned horrified, and he tried to pull Xander to his feet. "No, Spike - it's your turn. Can I take your sweats off?"

If vampires could blush, Spike would have been, but instead he just lifted his hips and slid the loose material off. "I'm yours, si- Xander. I'll do whatever you want me to."

Xander could only stare and stammer for a moment. Spike was shaved completely bare, and that had surprised him. When he looked up at Spike's face, he just shrugged. "My previous handler insisted, sir. He liked his bitches bare."

"Bitch?! He called you a bitch?" Xander was flabbergasted. Spike may not have been human, but he wasn't a dog, either.

Spike just shrugged again. "That's not the worst thing I was called, sir. You get used to it."

Xander had to admit that Spike was taking this much calmer than he was - he was completely horrified. But there was no reason to take that out on Spike and every reason not to.

So instead, he sought out Spike's soft cock. Tugging back the foreskin, he ran his tongue over the head; only to have it come to full hardness so fast it must have been painful.

Xander didn't tease, didn't try to draw it out, just working to make Spike feel as good as he could. He couldn't deep throat the way Spike could, but he used every other trick in his repertoire.

Within minutes, Spike was panting harshly, his hands tight fists on the couch next to him, and when Xander dropped one hand to pet the smooth skin of his balls, he cried out harshly. Before he could start begging, Xander dropped as deep as he could go on Spike's cock, his free hand caressing his thigh as if to tell him it was okay. Spike's hips came up off the couch, and Xander's mouth was filled with his come, which he swallowed as well as he could.

Climbing back up on the couch, he just barely caught Spike as he dissolved into violent shaking. Helpless, he stroked Spike's back and shoulders, pulling him in close and whispering soft words to try and comfort him. "Aww, baby. What's wrong? What can I do?"

But his words just made Spike shudder even harder, and eventually Xander just quieted, continuing to pet him and try to figure out where this came from.

Eventually, Spike calmed enough to speak, and when he did, it was just to thank Xander profusely without ever saying what for.

When Spike had calmed and quieted, Xander looked at the clock. It was past six - no wonder his stomach was growling. "Tell you what. Let's get something to eat and then watch some bad British tv - I have the new Dr. Who on DVD."

Spike nodded and stood up. Together they went into the kitchen, where Xander threw together a stir fry while Spike found himself more blood after being prodded to do so. A few minutes later, they were sitting together in front of the television, laughing at the latest Doctor.

Come bed time, Xander showed Spike the spare room. For a moment, Spike just looked at him and then back to the bed. Finally, he went to the corner and curled up in a ball on the floor.

Xander couldn't believe it - what the hell was Spike doing? Going over, he grabbed Spike's arm and pulled him to his feet. "You have a bed, Spike. Use it."

Spike looked at the bed again and then shook his head, trying to go limp and slide back to the floor where he was. Xander's job had given him serious muscle, though, and he kept Spike upright, practically dangling. "Dammit, Spike. What the hell is wrong with you now?"

Spike whimpered a little. Xander shook him in frustration, then realized what he was doing and set him back down. "Spike? Tell me what's wrong?"

"Haven't earned a bed, sir. Don't want to get into more trouble."

Xander grimaced and then gently pushed Spike towards the bed. "You don't need to earn it, Spike. I want you to sleep in it - that's what a spare bed is for, for people to sleep in."

"But - "

"No buts. Just lie down and go to sleep, Spike. We'll talk in the morning."

Spike looked at him with something resembling awe and more than a little fear, and sank to his knees, reaching out towards Xander's belt. Xander stopped him with one hand and pointed to the bed with the other. Spike dropped his eyes but scurried over to the bed, climbing in and curling up on top of the covers. Xander didn't argue - at least he was in the bed - but simply checked to see if the drapes were shut tight against the sun and went to his own room.

Chapter five

Two days later, Xander was ready to pull his hair out in frustration. Spike still flinched every time Xander said his name, and couldn't say it himself. If Xander made any sort of sudden move, Spike flinched. If Xander raised his voice, Spike flinched and folded to the floor.

He kept having to duck repeats of the first evening, because he still felt that it would be taking advantage of Spike to have sex with someone so... so broken.

And that would be wrong.

He finally gave up on the third day and called Giles while Spike was taking a shower.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Giles, it's me."

"Xander? Is everything alright? Did the blood get there yesterday?"

Just thinking about Spike's reaction to the delivery of human blood intensified Xander's headache, and he rubbed his temple, hoping to push it away. "Yeah. It got here. As far as things being okay - Yes. No. I don't know."

"Things aren't going well, I take it?" And the sympathy in that voice made Xander want to just go and dump everything in Giles' lap and let him handle it like he did when they were still in school. He always came up with a solution.

Suddenly, words were pouring out of him. "I don't know what to do, Giles. They broke him and I can't even start to see how to put him back together - it's like I have only half the pieces and no picture for a jigsaw. I can't even get him to say 'Spike,' Giles."

"Have you explained to him what you want from him?"

Xander sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs. "Yeah. He keeps telling me that they broke him with pain and that I'm going to have to use pain to change it. But I can't trigger that damn device - I can't even bring myself to touch it. The thing is evil."

There was silence at the other end of the line, and Xander could almost see Giles staring off in the distance as he thought. "You do understand that this is a little out of my realm, Xander. The details on how to kill a b'Resh demon are simple in nature because I can find that in a book. But brainwashing? While there are books out there, I'm ... not certain I'd trust them. What you need is someone with experience in this subject, and I have very little."

Sighing, Xander said, "Yeah, I know that. But there's got to be something, somewhere."

"The problem is that any research has been done on humans, not vampires. While they may look human, they aren't and we know they think in ways completely differently. To be honest, if Spike says that pain is what you need to use, then he's most likely right."

That was not what Xander had wanted to hear. Well, he might as well tell Giles all of it - see if that changed his opinion any. "The other problem is that... well, to be brutally honest, Spike thinks he should be sleeping with me."

"But doesn't he have his own - oh."

"Yeah, oh. And here's an even bigger oh - I want to sleep with him, Giles, but he's not him. When we finally get him put back together, he's never going to forgive me."

Xander imagined he could almost hear the familiar clack of glasses being removed and then squeaking as they were cleaned. "Ah. I -- I don't know what to tell you, Xander. You need to do what you feel is best - for both of you, not just Spike. The only thing I can advise you to do is talk to him."

Xander nodded, and after a few more words of goodbye, hung up the phone. Talk to Spike. Right. He could do that.

Getting up, he discovered he was going to have to - because Spike was standing right there.

***

The look on his face made it clear that he shouldn't even bother with trying to fake his way through it. "How much did you hear?"

Spike looked like he was ready to fall on a stake. "All of it - or close enough." Falling to his knees, he hunched over as if he'd taken a blow to the stomach. "I'm sorry, sir. If I knew another way to undo this - to give you what you wanted - I'd tell you."

"Spike - " He flinched at the name, and Xander snapped. "Get up, dammit. Your name is Spike. It's been Spike for at least a hundred years. Prior to that it was William. It is not Seventeen - it's never been Seventeen! You are bigger than this, and I'm not going to let you give in to what some fucking soldiers did to you!" Grabbing Spike's arm, he tried to pull him to his feet.

Tears streaked Spike's face, whether of frustration or upset, Xander neither knew nor cared. "On your feet, right now. You're supposed to obey my orders, right? Well, that's an order - on your feet!"

Clumsily, Spike stood up, standing rigid as if waiting for a blow. When Xander reached out to him, he winced and then immediately went back to almost standing at attention, but that wince was all it took to calm Xander down.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm frustrated and took it out on you. Let's go in the other room and talk about this like rational people, okay?" Spike nodded stiffly and went out to the living room, where he sat on the edge of the chair gingerly, as if he expected to be told to get off the furniture. Like a dog, Xander thought, guiltily.

Xander didn't say anything, though, simply following him out and taking a seat on the couch. "Do you understand why I'm doing this, Spike?"

"You want me to be like the Sp... person you knew. You want me to be able to think for myself." The voice was flat, monotone. He was reciting something he heard, not believing it, but at least the words were correct.

"Right. I'm not doing this to be mean, or because I want you to be my slave versus the military's. I may not have always liked the old Spike, but I could respect him. You - I don't know what you've gone through, I can't pretend to, but right now you're acting like the dog your handler named you. I'm trying to find the man."

Spike nodded but didn't say anything. "Okay, I know you say that the only way to break this conditioning is with more pain. But could I try something else before we resort to that?"

Cocking an eyebrow, Spike tilted his head and looked at him. For a moment, he looked so much like the old Spike that Xander felt his heart squeeze in his chest, but he knew that it was nothing more than a chance appearance. The old Spike was buried deep, and he was just starting to realize how far down it was.

He was starting to realize that he was going to have to bend somewhere or he was never going to get anywhere towards fixing Spike. He still couldn't get his head wrapped around the idea of deliberately hurting him, so that left trying pleasure instead. And that meant sleeping with a Spike who, he had a feeling, wouldn't say no if Xander said he was going to use holy water as lube.

His musings were interrupted by Spike saying, "I'll do anything you like, sir. What do you want from me?"

Xander smiled softly. "Rather than pain, can we try pleasure? Every time you manage to say 'My name is Spike,' I'm going to make you come."

Now both of Spike's eyebrows climbed his forehead, and then dropped as he clearly thought about what Xander was saying. "I can try, sir."

"Then why don't we move to the bedroom and see what we can do, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

***

When they got to the bedroom, Spike started to strip matter of factly, only to be stopped by Xander. Slowly, he removed Spike's clothes for him, kissing each bit of skin as it was revealed.

Xander wanted to make this as tender and painfree as possible - he wanted Spike to be able to look back and know that Xander had been trying his best. So, once Spike was naked, Xander pushed him back on the bed. Stripping off his own clothes, quickly, he crawled up Spike's body and paused on all fours above him.

"What's your name?"

"Sp-sp-sp..." Spike tried but couldn't get it out.

Xander bent and kissed him. "That's right. Your name is Spike. You get a reward for trying."

He moved down a little, and sucked a nipple into his mouth, licking and nibbling at it until Spike was moving under him, moaning softly. When he finally stopped Spike whined and arched his back. "Not just yet, baby. What's your name?"

"Sp-sp... oh, please, sir..."

"Very good, Spike... just keep trying for me, and I'll keep making you feel good. But you don't get to come until you get your whole name out." With that, his head dropped to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment, but even longer this time. Xander could feel Spike's cock, hard and wet, pressing into his own, and it took all he had not to just move down and suck it.

Lifting his head, he looked up into Spike's face. He was clearly lost in his own world, and it was a very nice one from the pleasure there. "Baby? Say 'Spike.'"

"Spi'" Spike's head tossed on the pillow as he tried to obey.

"Very good, baby. For that I'm going to suck your dick, but don't come yet... Have to finish the word to get to come."

Slithering down the bed, he wrapped one hand around the base of Spike's cock, running his tongue over the head. Taking it into his mouth, he sucked on the head, tracing around the edge of the foreskin. Spike's entire body was rigid as he obviously fought the urge to thrust.

Moving further down his cock, Xander swallowed and then did it again, loving the noises that Spike was making now. It was so very tempting to forget why he was doing this - to just keep going until Spike came - but that would undo the very point of the whole exercise. So he pulled back, with one last lick to the head, and asked the panting, writhing vampire, "What's your name?"

All Spike could do was whimper for a long moment, and then he panted out, "Spi... Spi... Oh, please, sir, Xander, please hurt me?"

"What? No! I told you - no pain." Xander couldn't believe that Spike wanted him to hurt him now.

"Please! Oh, please... need it... want to be good, want to obey... can't. Please hurt me!"

Xander thought fast. If this didn't work, he was going to do more damage than good, and it wasn't working. Fuck. Maybe... maybe he could add just enough pain to push Spike over the line. Pulling back so that he wasn't over Spike anymore, he ordered, "On your hands and knees, now. Gonna fuck you, but if you come you'll be punished."

Grabbing the slick off the nightstand, he slathered some on his cock, and then didn't bother to stretch Spike at all. He knew from experience that it would hurt, but not too much - maybe it would be enough. Pulling on Spike's hips, he lined up his cock with Spike's entrance and pushed in on one long rush.

Spike's shoulders dropped to the bed and he whimpered loudly. As Xander set up a punishing rhythm, he moaned and reached under himself to grip his cock tightly. "That's it - you wanted me to hurt you? I'll hurt you. Gonna fuck you hard and leave you wanting unless you can tell me your name. What is it?"

"Spi- "

Xander slapped Spike's ass, hard enough to leave a bright red handprint. "Wrong. Try again."

"Spi..ke"

Another slap. "Again."

"Spike."

And another. "My name is Spike."

"My name is... Spike."

Xander was ready to throw a party. But one more time. "What's your name?"

"My name is Spike!"

"Good boy! Good boys get rewards - you wanna come, baby? You can come now..." Xander could feel Spike's hand moving under him, and slammed into him, hard enough to push him up the bed. "Give it to me, come for me, Spike..."

Spike moaned loudly, and then cried out, as he came around Xander's cock, pulling Xander's orgasm with him.

Collapsing forward, he just barely managed to get one hand under him so he could brace his weight and not make Spike take it all.

Once he'd caught his breath, he pulled out gently, rolling to one side and pulling Spike up so he was pillowed on his shoulder "You okay, Spike?"

"Uh, huh," Spike mumbled sleepily.

"What's your name?"

"It's Spike, isn't it? Now let me sleep."

Xander stayed awake, though. He'd wanted to use pure pleasure to try and break Spike's conditioning and ended up using pain anyway. There was part of him that regretted it, but there was another part that was appalled at how easy it had come to him - and wondered where he'd draw the line.

Would he one day use the chip trigger to punish Spike for some real or imagined breach of rules that he had no right to make? Would he give up on trying to break the conditioning and accept that he had his very own sex slave? That was what frightened him more - he had to admit that having a person who would let him do anything in bed was a huge turn on.

That bothered him, because if he was honest, Xander had always been rather content being fairly submissive in his relationships, going all the way back to Cordelia. This sense of... power, for lack of a better word, was going to turn his head and make him want things that he really shouldn't have.

Just then, Spike turned and nuzzled into his arm in his sleep. He certainly seemed content with what Xander had done, and it had at least obtained his objective of getting him to say his name correctly. Xander guess that was going to have to do for now - he was just going to have to watch and make sure that he didn't go too far.

Chapter six

The next morning, Spike still stuttered a bit when Xander asked his name, but he managed it after a moment. Xander rewarded him with a blowjob.

But the other things that Spike had been doing - the flinching when Xander raised his voice, the instant obedience to anything that he interpreted to be an order, the essential "un-Spikeness" of him, didn't change.

Xander was frustrated. He'd hoped that if he could break that block, the others would fall as well, but it hadn't worked that way. Instead, it almost seemed to have firmed them in place.

The biggest problem was that there was nothing concrete that Xander could point to and say, "This behavior - this is what needs to be changed." Instead, they were all nebulous, attitudes rather than actions. And there wasn't really anything he could do except get Spike to trust him and hope that time would help.

So every time Spike showed the slightest bit of independent thought, he got a reward. Xander felt odd about rewarding someone with sex, but there weren't many other privileges that he could give Spike. He was told - ordered, really - to eat whenever he was hungry. He was allowed to watch TV, play the radio, surf the 'web. Pretty much anything he showed an interest in, he was encouraged to do.

That only left two things - sleeping in Xander's bed with him, and sex, so Xander shamelessly used both to reward Spike every time he did anything worth rewarding.

The sex was amazing, leaving Xander wasted from hormonal overload. Spike wouldn't ever top, even got upset if Xander tried to blow him too often, but would do anything else that Xander suggested.

Xander had had other lovers, but never one that would let him do anything he wanted, and he took shameless advantage of that, He rimmed Spike for hours at a time, fucked him in every position he could think of, received more blow jobs than he could count. But it all was so fucking good, he couldn't even think about stopping.

Spike never stopped him, simply pushing him to bigger and bigger things. Nothing seemed too much, and it all seemed to form a cycle.

Gradually, Spike started making more decisions. Small ones, at first - when he wanted to eat, what clothes he'd wear, what show he wanted to watch. Then he started to take initiative around the house. It could all be fit into a category of serving Xander, but he was doing it without orders and that was all that mattered to him.

The first time that Spike disagreed with Xander - over whether or not he needed new boots - Xander could have thrown a party. Instead, he took Spike to bed.

"Anything you want, baby."

Spike blushed and stammered and looked away. "Whatever you want, sir. Just want to make you feel good."

Xander said, "No, you have it backwards. I want to make you feel good. What do you want that I haven't given you?"

Tugging lightly on Xander, Spike pulled him down into a hungry, desperate kiss. When they broke away, Spike whispered, "Would you please hurt me? I... know you aren't comfortable with it, but I need it. Need the pain to help root me here."

He wanted to argue. He wanted to refuse. But he'd promised, and he'd seen that when he added an edge of pain to their sex, Spike was always more settled for a time. Maybe a larger dose would help get him ready for Xander to go back to work.

So he slid out of the bed and looked around. Since he wasn't exactly into pain, there was a decided lack of anything that would work in the room, except maybe... He picked up his pants and slid the belt free from the loops. "Lie on your stomach."

Spike immediately rolled over, lacing his fingers together behind his neck. Xander paused for a moment, admiring the pale skin and gathering his courage, then brought the belt down with a loud thwack across Spike's ass.

He cried out, and Xander very nearly stopped, but when a pause didn't cause Spike to break position at all, he repeated it.

Gradually, Spike's ass became covered with criss-crossing red marks. The occasional one landed on his back, or his thighs, and those brought even louder cries, and begging for Xander to not stop.

Xander knew he should be ashamed of how hot this was making him - he was beating his lover with a belt, for god's sake - but it was. He grew hard, his breathing harsher. Only when he was covered in sweat and there were welts on Spike's ass did he finally stop, only to have Spike start begging for more.

He was ashamed by being tempted to see how much it would take to make Spike beg for him to stop. The begging was getting to him, though, and he brought the belt back down again and again, until the sudden sight of Spike's blood where one of the welts had broken open made him stop suddenly. Spike still begged and pleaded, but Xander felt vaguely sick and couldn't bring himself to hit Spike again.

Instead, he clambered up on the bed, ordering Spike up on his knees. "Don't come, Spike - gonna fuck you, but don't you dare come."

Spike nodded frantically, his hair flopping in his eyes, and gave a loud moan as Xander slid into his tight ass. He'd long since given up on any sort of preparation, because Spike just begged until he gave up.

Pressing down on Spike's shoulders, he thrust hard, feeling Spike get even tighter around him. There was part of him that hated doing this - that made him feel like it made him no better than those who reduced Spike to this in the first place.

But as Spike cried out and clutched at the blankets, that part of his brain was shut down and he fucked Spike hard, without thinking about anything but how good it felt to be inside him. Within moments, he was coming hard.

When he pulled out, Spike whined low in his throat. He'd been obedient and hadn't come, even though his cock was hard and angry looking. Xander pulled on one shoulder, pulling him over onto his back and slid down his body to suck his cock in deep.

Spike was already begging to come as soon as his mouth took him in. Xander worked him till he could no longer speak, just clutch convulsively at his hair and whine. Finally, when Xander didn't think Spike could last another second, he pulled back just enough to say, "Now."

With a scream, Spike came, pumping his hips frantically as Xander swallowed every drop of his offering down.

Xander assuaged his conscience for the whipping he'd given Spike by cuddling him tight, knowing that he couldn't hide his growing affection anymore - that if someone saw him, it would be as clear as a flashing neon light blinking above his head.

But he no longer really cared.

Spike was stiff in his arms at first, whether from the pain of his abused body or out of surprise at the sudden turn around, Xander didn't know. But he ignored it, just holding him even tighter until finally Spike's body started to relax and finally there was a soft purr.

***

When Xander started back to work, at first he was more than a little reluctant to leave Spike home alone all day long. Not that he was afraid that Spike would do something or get in to something without guidance, but that he'd freak over being left alone or that the soldiers would show up and take Spike when he wasn't there to stop them.

It took a few days to figure out what was happening but it turned out that Spike simply adjusted his sleeping schedule so that he'd be asleep most of the day and awake when Xander got home from work. At first, this fact made Xander uncomfortable, though he wasn't sure why.

He came home a little early one day to discover Spike fighting with the vacuum cleaner in the living room. When he tried to take it away and explain that he didn't expect Spike to clean up after him, he'd fallen to his knees and begged Xander's forgiveness for taking initiative. Xander felt like he was being trapped in a situation where he couldn't win.

Time for another phone call to Giles.

"Xander, I wish I knew what to tell you. We've done some more research into Spike's life and it looks like he was always the beta to another vampire through most of his life - first to Angelus and Darla, then to Drusilla. Even when she was... ill, he yielded to her wishes."

"And when Spike became involved with Buffy, he was usually submissive to her wants and needs, even when it wasn't healthy for him. It sounds to me like he's put you in that position. While it's not good, it is typical for him. I'm not sure there's anything you can do to change it."

Xander sighed. "I just wish he'd do more for himself. I don't want to be in charge of everything he does all the time. He's capable of making his own decisions, or he should be, anyway."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. "I've been meaning to ask you this, Xander. Why are you so determined to return Spike to what he was? Spike was annoying, frustrating, and oh, yes, more than a little evil. You hated him most of the time. Isn't this better?"

"I mean, I'm sure it's very difficult for you. I know you don't want to run someone else's life for them. But Spike is safe in your custody, and this way we don't have to worry about him turning evil again,"

Xander was shocked speechless for a moment. Then, "Giles! I can't believe that you of all people would advocate treating him like... like he's a dog that needs to have a master. Spike may not be human, and yeah, he may have been evil, but he's still a person. And he has a soul, remember? And he died to save the world. I'd think that buys him some forgiveness."

"I didn't mean, Xander -"

"I know you didn't, Giles. I'm just frustrated and it scares me that I can see where you're right. The problem is it's the same place that the military was 'right' for putting him in this position in the first place."

Giles cleared his throat. "Right. You have a point. It is important to get him to a point where you don't have to make every decision for him, anyway. So, focus on that, and I'll see if I can do any more research to help you."

"Thanks, G-man."

"Don't call me that, Xander."

Xander disconnected the call, and stood staring into space for a while. He was going to have to just keep going as he had and see what happened.

Chapter seven

When Xander got home from work the next day, he looked in the kitchen and decided that nothing looked appetizing. The one thing that Spike hadn't taken over was the cooking, and he was just tired after a long day on the site.

There was a local Indian place that served really good curries, and Spike used to love them, so he asked if he was interested in going - he hadn't been out of the house in over a week.

"Sure - it'll be dark soon and I can go a little easier? Or just let me get a blanket."

"Nah, we can wait till dark."

They spent the hour or so curled up on the couch, watching Red Dwarf. Then Xander grabbed his coat and they headed up the street.

Halfway there, Spike started acting really odd - looking around as if he heard something he couldn't explain, features wavering in and out.

Xander chalked it up to a bit of paranoia from being outside for the first time in so long, which was a huge mistake, because as they passed an alley, they were suddenly surrounded by a group of very large guys. Xander thought at first that it was one of the surviving gangs, only to have that dashed when one of them laughed and said, "Look who we have, boys! It's Seventeen and the guy keeping him as a little boytoy."

Shit. Soldiers.

Spike was huddling in on himself, and Xander physically pushed him back into the wall, putting himself between Spike and the GIs. "Hey guys! Something I can do for you?"

"Yeah - you can let us see that receipt. Cause personally, I think it's a forgery, and you shouldn't have our little toy out of his cage."

Xander started frantically patting down his pockets. Spike's receipt - he had to have it. He wouldn't have left the house without it, would he?

Apparently he would.

Fuck.

What was the signature? Tyler, right? When in doubt, bluff. "General Tyler is going to be real pissed if you guys don't leave us alone."

"For that to matter, you're going to have to be able to identify us."

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but you," he pointed at one of the men he remembered from the mall, "You're Georges. And you," pointing at another, "You're Tucker, I believe."

Georges spoke up. "Shit, man - he can ID us. This is a bad idea."

Talky grinned. "Won't matter." He stepped forward and drove his fist into Xander's gut.

All the air driven out of his lungs, Xander tried frantically to recover fast enough to block the next punch. He succeeded well enough that two of the other men moved up and grabbed his arms. Even then, he tried to kick away the man in front, landing at least one good kick to his knee before he muttered something about "Damn demon lovers" and punched Xander again.

More and more of the men piled in as Xander fought to get away, and he managed to hold his own for a few minutes, but eventually, sheer numbers overwhelmed him. And everything went very dark.

***

When Xander woke up, it was to a shining light in his face. "Son? Son - you okay?"

He was disoriented, trying to remember what had happened and how he got there when he remembered. "Spike?! Where's Spike?" He tried frantically to get to his feet, only to be stopped by the stranger's hand on his shoulder.

"You're badly hurt, son - just sit tight. There's an ambulance on its way."

"No, you don't understand - I have to find Spike. They're going to hurt him." Blinking, he managed to get his eyes to focus, and the first thing he saw was a kindly older face above a minister's collar. "Reverend - I know who did this and they have my friend. I have to stop them."

The face grew fierce. "You aren't in any shape to stop a bunny, much less whoever did this to you. You need to go to the hospital."

"No!" Xander shouted and finally pulled away from the restraining hand, stumbling to his feet. "I have help, I just have to go home and get it."

"Weapons aren't the way to go, son. You should call the police - they'll help you."

Xander started laughing and then couldn't stop, even though it made his already aching ribs hurt even worse. He was still laughing as he started stumbling down the street, with the minister still following.

When Xander got to the house, he turned to the minister. "I promise I'm not going to do anything tonight, Reverend. But you really don't want to be involved in this. I thank you for your help, though."

He was handed a card with the name "Reverend John Irwin" and a phone number. "You just call if there's anything you need from me, son. You might be surprised what an old minister can do."

"I'll do that, sir. But right now I have to find my friend."

***

Xander picked up the phone as soon as he got into the house, dialing Giles' number in a panic. "Hello?"

"Giles? How soon can you get me a couple of slayers? I need help and I need it now."

"Xander? Calm down and tell me what's going on."

"Giles, I don't have time. The military has taken Spike and they didn't do it officially. If I want a chance in hell of getting him back instead of a pile of dust, I need some slayers and I need them as fast as I can get them."

"All right - let me see. I don't have any trained in California, but I have a couple in Vancouver and one in Seattle - if we work fast, I can get them on flights that will have them to you by morning."

"Do we have anyone in California?"

"Let me see what I can do, Xander. You need to just stay calm and let me work, all right?"

"Just... hurry, Giles."

"I will." Then Xander was listening to a dial tone.

Within twenty minutes, though, he was taking one call after another as various Slayers called in with flight details and pick up information. Within an hour, he had promises of the Vancouver slayers arriving by midnight, with the Seattle slayer an hour behind them.

And within ninety minutes, Giles was calling back with a list of possible locations to look for the soldiers.

***

Standing outside security, Xander held up a sign with his own name on it - no point in advertising that he was picking up four girls more than he needed to.

The Vancouver slayers arrived together. Quite the mismatched set, the first one introduced herself in a straightforward manner as Kristin. About 5'8" and solidly built, she had an air of "This is a job - let's do it."

The second was Leslie, who reminded Xander almost painfully of Willow in high school. Slender and shy, she didn't look big enough to squish a fly, much less hunt vampires night after night.

Joann was tiny and the youngest - if she was fifteen, Xander would be shocked. Smiling easily, she was brown haired and soft spoken.

As the three girls went to get their luggage, chatting amicably, Xander glanced at his watch. He was getting more and more worried about Spike - god only knew what the soldiers were doing with him right now. The one thing that Xander was sure of was that whatever it was, it wasn't good.

Finally, the last slayer arrived. Tanya was a petite, with short blonde hair. She smiled easily and immediately fit herself in with the other girls. If Leslie reminded him of Willow, then Tanya reminded him of Buffy.

Returning to the car, Xander got out the list of locations and the map that he'd already drawn up. "Okay, girls. They're humans, so that restricts what we can do. Besides which, Spike's a vampire, so we need to have this done before dawn. He's already been in their custody for six hours, and I don't want him there a second longer than we can prevent."

Tanya and Leslie just nodded, while Joann agreed and Kristin made a face. "Is there a problem?"

"Just don't understand why we're saving a vampire, Mr. Harris. Mr. Giles said I have to help you, but he didn't tell me why."

Xander pulled over and looked Kristin dead in the face. "Spike has done more to save the world than you ever will. He's earned our help a hundred times over. If you can't handle that, then I'll take you right back to the airport."

Looking suitably chastened, she said, "Yes, Mr. Harris. I'll do what I can to help."

Studying her face for a long moment, he nodded. "Fine. Let's get going." Looking at the other girls, he only saw impatience, so he joked, "Oh, am I driving?" and pulled back out on to the road, turning right at the next light, making for the first target. Once there, Tanya tried to prevent him from going in. "Sir? Let us do what needs to be done. I promise if Spike's in there we won't let him be hurt."

Xander didn't argue, just silently got out of the car and starting inside without any of the girls. Within seconds, all four had surrounded him and were protecting him. "Sir, I'm sorry. But Mr. Giles was very clear that our first priority is you. Our second is Spike."

He knew better than to argue - years of working with Buffy had taught him that. So he just worked his way up to the entrance of the warehouse, ignoring the girls as far as that was possible when surrounded by a group of very deadly individuals.

Pausing outside the door, he listened carefully. He didn't hear anything, but before he could share this information, Leslie kicked the door in.

Thankfully, the building was empty, other than rats.

"Don't you ever do that again!" he snapped at Leslie.

"But, Mr. Har-" she started.

"If they'd been in here, they could have staked Spike before we could get to them. Like I told Kristin, if you're not here to save him, then you can just go home."

He looked at the girls and sighed. All of them looked upset and angry, and he reminded himself that not one of them was older than eighteen.

"Okay, look. Do any of you have any idea who I am?"

Tanya spoke up. "You're Xander Harris and you used to work with Buffy when she was the only Slayer. According to Mr. Giles, you retired even though they wanted you to work with some of the younger slayers - he said that you have the biggest heart he's ever seen, and that's after years of working under unimaginable circumstances."

Xander blushed. "Giles said that?" he muttered. Then he cleared his throat. "Well, I did work with Buffy for seven years, and on my own for a few years after that. And one thing you learn is that when you're outnumbered, sometimes you have to be subtle, especially if you don't want your target dead."

"We don't kill people, so that narrows our options. We need to make sure that Spike is okay, and that narrows them further. We go slamming in there like an onrushing army, and what's the first thing they do? Kristin?"

The girl snapped to something resembling attention. "They kill Spike."

"Right. Then what do they do? Joann?"

"Um..."

Xander sighed and leaned back against the wall. God, his ribs were killing him. "These are military guys. With guns. What do they do after they kill Spike?"

"They start shooting at us."

"Very good. What that means is that I'm dead in seconds. You guys might survive for a few minutes, but if they manage to take you down alive, you'll be in their hands. Given what they did to Spike, what do you think they'd do to you?"

Now the anger turned to fear and more importantly, thoughtfulness. "Right. So, since we're outnumbered and fighting under restrictions, what do we do?"

Tanya spoke up. "We find a back way and go in quietly."

Xander grinned. Tanya was the slayer from Seattle. "You work by yourself, don't you?"

She grinned back at him. "Yep, when I can slip my watcher."

"You ever meet Buffy? You remind me of her."

Tanya blushed and kicked at the concrete floor.

"Okay, girls. Let's go to the next location and remember, we find a back way and go in quietly, like Tanya said."

Going back to the car, everyone piled in together and Xander consulted his list. It was a warehouse downtown, and Xander wondered. It was in the middle of the highest concentration of people left in the city, and that seemed too unlikely to him. Reviewing the list, he decided that he was going to reorder them. Picking one that was farther out, he went straight there.

Pulling up a half block away, all of them got out of the car. The girls seemed to decide without words to put Leslie at the back this time, and Tanya at the front. When they got to the back door, she listened for a moment and then tilted her head at them, indicating that they should back off.

Moving back, she whispered. "I heard laughter - sounded like a group of men."

Xander looked around. There were no windows at the ground level, but there was one up on the second story. "You girls think you can figure out a way to get up there and take a look inside?"

The girls whispered together for a moment, then built a pyramid, with Joann - the lightest and smallest of the girls - on the top. She peeked in the window, and then grimaced, looking ill.

When they were back on the ground, Xander asked, "What did you see?"

"If it's not them, then they need to be stopped anyway. Group of men - maybe nine or ten - with one in the middle who looks like he's been beat up pretty badly."

Xander swallowed hard. If it was Spike, then they had to -

"Mr. Harris? You should know - he was naked and looked..."

Like he'd been raped was the unspoken part of that sentence.

Xander gave a tight nod. "You see a way in?" he whispered.

Joann nodded. "There's an office or something around the corner. Looks like it may have its own external entrance. They're whooping it up enough in there that they shouldn't hear it open."

The group circled the building, discovering that there wasn't a door but the office had an unlocked window - probably how the soldiers had gotten inside in the first place. The four girls slid inside silently, Leslie staying behind to help Xander get through. He was having trouble because his ribs were really starting to hurt - he suspected that instead of a few bruised ribs, one or two might have been broken.

The girls held a hastily whispered conference, then opened the office door a crack. One look nearly had Xander storming in there, because the bastards had Spike, and were shocking him and laughing as he convulsed.

There didn't seem to be a single inch of his body that wasn't covered in bruises, and from the blood, and the awkward way he was holding himself between convulsions, he'd clearly been raped as well. One of the bastards just then demanded to know what Spike's name was.

"Spike!"

As he was shocked again, Xander swallowed back tears. Even though Xander hadn't been able to stop the bastards from taking him, Spike was holding on to his most important lesson - his name.

The four girls slipped out of the room, and Xander counted to ten, then boldly walked out of the room and into the center of the men.

"You guys really think that I'd let you get away with this?"

Spike looked up, terrified. "Sir! Please, just go."

"You're mine, Spike, and I don't let my things go. Now come over here." Xander hated calling Spike a thing, but he needed everyone's attention locked on him, and Spike was the most likely to hear the girls who were even now sliding around to surround the men.

Spike looked shocked and scared, but he scuttled across the floor to kneel behind Xander. "What? We didn't beat you hard enough earlier?" One of the men growled.

Another held up the remote and pointed it at Spike. Before he could trigger it, though, several things happened. Xander turned and physically shoved Spike backwards, out of the circle of men, as Leslie threw a flying kick that hit the son of a bitch in the back of the head.

As Xander cursed and gasped from the pain in his ribs, the sounds of a huge fight erupted behind him. By the time, he could stand again, half the men were down and out, and the five still on their feet were busy fighting off girls who were both half their size and kicking their asses.

As soon as they were all down, Xander covered his pain and walked casually over to where the remote was lying on the floor. Stomping on it, he shattered it into pieces. Speaking to the two men who were still conscious, though one was clutching his own ribs and the other a broken arm, he said, "You ever come after me or mine again and next time you'll be dead. You got me?"

One of the guys nodded, and Xander faded back to where the girls had gathered around Spike. Nodding to them, Kristin helped Spike climb to his feet, wrapping his duster around him, and held him upright so that they could all back to the door.

As soon as they made it through, both Spike and Xander collapsed.

Chapter Eight

Xander woke up to Kristin slapping his face lightly and demanding that he open his eyes. "Spike!"

"Mr. Harris, he's gonna be fine, but none of us know where you live! We need you to at least wake up enough to give us directions."

"Oh... uh, give me a second and I can drive."

"Right. Not. If we didn't have Spike in the car the only place we'd be going is the hospital. You must be crazy if you think we're going to let you drive."

Grudgingly, Xander had to admit that she was right. The nagging pain in his chest had blossomed into an agony that no amount of denial was going to change from broken ribs, his head ached, and his whole body felt like it had been used as a punching bag - which it had.

He managed to turn his head enough to see Spike in the backseat, huddled in on himself. He tried to reach out to him, but he was just out of his reach. "Mr. Harris!"

"Oh, yeah." Xander tried to orient himself. "Turn right at the next light."

Gradually, he got them back on roads he recognized, and then back to his house.

When he tried to get out of the car, he was stopped by Kristin, who didn't say anything to him, just hooked her shoulder under his arm and forced him to lean on her. Joann had done the same for Spike, and together they made their way up to the door.

Once through, he finally managed to shake off Kristin and moved over to Spike, who stared at the floor. "Spike? Spike, I'm so proud of you. You did real good, baby."

Spike stayed silent, just flinching away when Xander tried to touch him.

Finally, Xander gave in Kristin's urgings and sat down on the couch. "Mr. Harris, do you have a first aid kit? Your ribs really need to be taped," Joann asked.

"Under the sink in the bathroom. Has anyone looked over Spike?"

"He won't let any of us touch him, Mr. Harris. We've tried."

Looking over, he caught Spike looking at him. "Spike, you'll let the girls look you over and treat your injuries or I'll turn you over my knee, regardless of how badly injured we are."

Spike started, and then nodded, a very small thing.

When Joann pulled the tape tight around his ribs, Xander nearly passed out, but watching to make sure that Spike obeyed made him fight to stay conscious.

Spike's injuries were extensive - bruises, holy water and cross burns, an arm that looked like it had been dislocated, and a broken ankle that somehow he'd managed to walk on.

Kristin and Leslie worked together to treat the worst of the injuries, but both were obviously reluctant to examine Spike's private areas, not that Xander could blame them.

Xander burned with a white hot anger at every new injury they uncovered. This wasn't any sort of training - this was punishment that had him as the direct cause. Had one of the soldiers been in front of him right that second, he would have killed him with his bare hands.

So as to minimize everyone's discomfort, he asked them to help Spike get to the master bedroom, with him hobbling after. He would examine and treat those injuries himself, and he did, wishing that for once he could bring himself to kill a human.

Not that the soldiers qualified anymore as far as Xander was concerned. The damage done to Spike was awful - his cock and balls severely bruised, his ass torn and bleeding. Unfortunately, none of it was anything he could do anything about. Spike would just have to heal on his own.

Xander tucked Spike up in bed with him, forcing him to accept Xander touching and petting as much as he felt able to. He needed Spike to know that it didn't matter what those bastards had done - he still cared for and loved him.

It took a week for Spike to recover physically from his injuries. When he was finally allowed to get out of bed, he refused to speak to anyone. If Xander or any of the girls looked at him he dropped to his knees, staring at the floor intently.

Xander wanted to fix it, but he had no idea of what to do. Even if he did, teenage slayers surrounded them plus Xander was still too injured to do more that limp between the bed and the bathroom.

Finally, though, the pain in his ribs eased up enough that he could breathe without wanting to whine at the nearest person, and he set about trying to ease Spike.

"Spike?"

He was kneeling in the bedroom, focused on the floor. When Xander spoke, he barely moved, only a minute shifting giving away that he'd heard. "Spike, can you come up here, please?"

He crawled closer to the side of the bed, but didn't come up. When Xander petted the bed again, Spike lifted his head and spoke for the first time in days.

"Sir, you don't have to... I know that you can't want to be near me anymore and while I thank you for letting me have the time to heal, you can send me away now if you want."

"I told you to come up here, Spike. You know I'm not used to being disobeyed." Xander didn't want to take advantage of Spike's training, but he also was tired of Spike thinking he was going to be sent away at any time. "You're not being sent away, and if you say that one more time I'm going to... well, I don't know what I'm going to do but you won't like it, I can guarantee that."

Slowly, Spike came up over the side of the bed and sat in a huddle just out of Xander's easy reach. Carefully leaning forward, he grabbed Spike's arm and tugged till he finally came close enough for Xander to wrap himself around Spike's body. He was stiff and unyielding at first, but when Xander hissed at the pain in ribs, Spike finally unwound enough to let himself be moved.

"Now, you want to tell me what this is all about? Are you mad because I couldn't protect you?"

Spike looked at him, shocked. "No! But I let myself be taken and... used by them, and I don't know why you'd want to touch me after that. I know I wouldn't want to." The tone of his voice was filled with self disgust, so obviously hating himself that Xander's heart twisted.

Xander pulled him in tighter. "Spike, there wasn't anything you could do to stop them, not with that god damned chip in your head. And if you'd tried to fight them anyway, they'd either have hurt you worse or just staked you outright."

Spike shook his head desperately. "I should have let them stake me - should have found a way to make them stake me - before I let them rape me again."

Taking Spike by the chin, Xander made him look in his face. "Spike? I've beaten you with a belt till you bled, fucked you every time I felt like it, pushed you to your knees and taken your mouth. Refused to let you come, done what some people would call torture. I'm no better than they are."

"No! Everything you've done - I've always known that you see me. You've never done anything that I didn't want you to do!"

"Don't punish yourself for surviving, then, baby. I want you with me and if I ever get my hands on those bastards again I'll kill them."

"No, you won't." Spike looked oddly determined. "They're human - I'm not. Don't cross your one line for me."

Xander sighed. "Okay, baby. But you need to know that, human or not, you're worth a million of them, right?"

Burying his face in Xander's shoulder, Spike shook for a long time. As he finally started to calm, Xander kissed him softly. "You're mine, baby. The only way that you're going to be taken from me is for you to decide - with no outside influences - that you don't want to be at my side anymore. And even then, you're going to have to fight me tooth and nail to get me to let go of your leg, got it?"

There might have been the tiniest bit of a smile tugging at the corners of Spike's mouth. "Even if I try to cook dinner again?"

"God forbid!" Xander exclaimed, since the one time Spike had tried, the fire department had nearly had to be called. "Even then. Though I would prefer to eat my food blackened because of seasonings, not because of the way you cooked it."

There was one thing that Xander had meant to do for a long time and this seemed the right time to do it. Opening the nightstand, he pulled out a pair of scissors. Encouraging Spike to bow his head, he carefully slid one part under the collar that he still wore. It took some doing, but eventually he managed to cut through the thick leather.

When he was done, he took the collar and put it in Spike's hand. "You're free, baby. Nobody can make you do anything that you don't want to."

Some of the tension had drained out of Spike, and Xander couldn't help but smile. "Come lie down with me, baby. I've missed sleeping with you."

Spike actually shook his head. "Your ribs aren't healed yet."

Privately hiding his exultation over the argument, as small as it was, Xander settled it by lying down without letting go of Spike, perforce pulling him along unless Spike wanted to take a chance on hurting him, which of course he didn't.

They cuddled together for a long time, breaths mingling and limbs tangled. Eventually, Xander's body showed the effect of being in that close of contact with Spike, but rather than make him feel pressured to do something he might not be ready for, Xander tried to shift backwards, only to be followed closely by Spike.

Spike, for his part, moved forward, apparently wanting no space between the two of them. Finally, he rolled onto his back and pulling Xander into the cradle of his hips. "Want you..."

Xander groaned, wanting nothing more than to bury himself inside Spike's body, but knowing that just because Spike said it didn't mean that he meant it.

"Don't have to, baby. Can just hold each other for a while..."

Spike wiggled determinately under him, legs spreading even wider. "Want you to make me think of you when I think of sex... not them. None of them. Please?"

Oh, fuck. Spike knew just what to say to make it impossible to say no. "Want you, too, but... can you ride me? Don't think a lot of thrusting would be very good for my ribs right now."

Spike nodded, then moved so fast that Xander could barely feel it as he was flipped over and stripped so skillfully that his ribs never even protested. A few more seconds and Spike was naked as well, and crouching over him.

For long minutes they kissed, losing themselves in each other's mouths. They were so involved, in fact, that they didn't hear the door snick open and didn't realize that they had an audience till there was a small, "Oh, my," from the open doorway.

Spike buried his face back in Xander's neck, while Xander looked over to see Joann at the door. "Um, hi. Could you possibly..."

She blushed hard, but said, "You have a visitor, Mr. Harris."

"Damn. Uh... who is it?"

"A Reverend Irwin..." Joann was now staring fixedly at the wall across from her.

"Shit. Tell him I'll be down in a few minutes." He returned his attention to Spike as the door shut and the girl fled. "Baby - pick this up in a little while?"

Spike chuckled, a warm, rich sound. "Yeah. Maybe we should wait till the baby slayers are in bed, though."

"Gee, you think?" And then both of them were sorting out whose clothes were whose, and dressing quickly. Xander was dressed first and made his way carefully down the hall to the living room where he could hear the girls chattering away.

The older man sat in the living room, smiling benignly at the girls who fluttered around him like birds. When his eyes caught sight of Xander, he smiled even wider. "There you are, son. I wanted to check and see if you were recovered from the other night. I'm sorry if I picked a bad time."

"No, it's fine, Reverend. I'm pretty banged up, but I'm fine. Thank you for trying to help, though."

"Just following a good example, so- " The Reverend stopped speaking suddenly, his mouth hanging open. Xander glanced over his shoulder to see Spike standing in the door, his face frozen. "Spike? You okay?"

"John?"

"William! I didn't think I'd see you again!"

And then the two met in the middle of the room, hugging and pounding each other on the back, while Xander sat by, confused.

***

Ten minutes later, Xander still sat, no less confused. "So, let me see if I have this straight. When things went all to hell, you were operating as a sort of waystation, trying to get demons and vampires out of the country?"

Reverend Irwin nodded. "Yes. William was one of the last that I tried to help - the fact that he was taken was a big reason that I stopped, in fact. I'd obviously been compromised."

"The part that confuses me is that I can't understand why a minister would be helping at all. I mean, I know that Spike isn't evil anymore, but that doesn't apply to most vampires or demons."

The minister smiled softly. "Judge not, lest ye be judged. As long as they were willing to obey my rules under my roof, I did what I could to help them. And now you know my secret - what I was doing was very, very illegal, and if you tell anyone I could still be arrested even if I'm not doing it anymore."

Xander looked at Spike. He'd tried to help him, even if he'd failed. "I won't say anything. You can count on that." Then he looked at the slayers, who were also looking interested and quiet for the first time in days. "You girls won't say anything, either, will you?"

A chorus of "No, sir" was raised. Reverend Irwin clearly relaxed further.

"You know, enough time has elapsed that they're probably not watching me anymore, William. If you want, I could still get you out of the country."

***

Xander's first impulse was to forbid it. If Spike left the country, it would be with him, not by himself to god knew where. But he squelched it, knowing that it wasn't fair to Spike. If he wanted to go, then Xander wasn't going to stop him. He just hadn't expected Spike to be given the option to get away from him so soon.

If Spike chose to go, Xander couldn't blame him after everything he'd suffered at the military's hands. But like he'd said earlier, he'd let him go. Might take a crowbar to dislodge him, though.

But Spike just smiled and moved so he was sitting at Xander's feet. "No, I think I'll keep trying here. Worst case, we have an offer to move to Britain that we could take if we need to."

Gaze sharpening, Reverend Irwin looked between the two of them. "Of course. If you change your mind, Xander has my card," was all he said, though.

Xander was relieved - he'd been afraid that it would turn into a much bigger issue, because Spike was making it very clear that he was putting himself second to Xander. And if he were to admit the truth, it would be smarter for them to leave before something else happened. But this was Xander's home, and he couldn't imagine leaving it.

As if Spike could hear his thoughts, he rested his head against Xander's knee briefly, giving him a wordless reassurance that he wasn't leaving. Running his fingers through Spike's hair in silent gratitude, he turned his attention back to the minister, who was rising to his feet.

"Well, son, it's good to see that you're in good hands," he said to Xander, with a mischievous grin to the slayers. "I'm sure these lovely young ladies keep you hopping."

Regardless of what he'd done to help Spike, Xander wasn't willing to give away the girls' secret. "Yes, they do. But they're good kids."

Reverend Irwin nodded, as if that was the answer he was expecting. Spike got up and showed the man out.

By the time he got back, the four girls had scattered to the four winds, leaving just the two of them alone in the living room. "You think that was deliberate?" Xander asked.

"Yep. Our girls are pretty damn smart, and Joann knows what she interrupted. But they also know - we should talk, sir."

Xander sighed. "Sir" was never good - it always meant that Spike was stressed and reverting to comfortable patterns. He'd never fully regained his memories of Xander from before, and he didn't always remember that Xander hated being called Sir when he was stressed. "Spike, we can talk about anything you want. But please, please call me Xander, okay?"

"Right. Sorry." Spike leaned into his legs, quiet for a moment. Then, without preamble, he said, "You know they're going to keep coming after me."

Resting his head on the back of the sofa, Xander nodded. "Yeah, I know. And next time they won't stop to play. They'll just stake you. If I was smart, I'd send you out with the minister and tell you not to look back."

Spike turned and looked at him. "I wouldn't go unless you ordered me to. You're the only thing keeping the nightmare that the world has become at bay, and I won't leave you."

Part of Xander's heart constricted at that. "Okay, so what do we do?" Well, that was what he meant to say, but he yawned in the middle.

Laughing, Spike stood up. "Well, for right now, you go back to bed. We've bought ourselves some time, anyway."

When they got back to the room, though, Xander pulled Spike down on top of himself. Spike smiled and braced himself on his arms to keep his weight off of Xander's chest. "Something you want?"

Xander pulled Spike's head down so that he could kiss him. When they finally broke apart, Xander grinned and spread his own legs. "Yeah. I want you inside of me."

Spike looked shocked. "No, si - Xander. I can't do that."

Sighing in frustration, Xander hooked his legs around Spike's hips and pulled him down so that he could grind up. "Yes, you can. You've told me over and over that you'll do anything I tell you to. Well, I'm telling you to fuck me - slide your cock inside me and wipe both of our minds of anything but how good it feels to fuck."

Spike whimpered, burying his face in Xander's neck. "Come on, baby. You know you want it." Swallowing back the groan from the pain of his ribs, Xander arched his back and felt Spike's hardness against his. "You're hard and wanting and I'm asking. In a second, I'm going to be begging."

Xander could feel it when Spike stopped fighting it, and then fell upon his mouth hungrily. Their bodies rocking together, breathing getting faster. "Please, Spike. Need it so bad... need to feel you inside me... want it, love it, please..."

With a groan, Spike pulled back and started to strip himself while Xander watched with hungry eyes. When he was fully naked, he paused. "I'm not going to change my mind, Spike. I want you so badly I ache."

Gently, Spike helped undress Xander, and then picked up the lube in hands that shook. Slicking his fingers, he stared deep into Xander's eyes as he slowly slid them behind his balls, pressing one to his entrance.

"Yesss..." Xander hissed, arching his back.

Xander fought to keep his eyes open, to let Spike see the pleasure there. As he was breached slowly, though, his eyes fell shut. Spike's finger moved slowly, too slowly, but Xander was already pressing him for this, he wasn't going to push any harder, so he let Spike take it at his own pace.

One finger became two, and then three. As he was slowly stretched, Xander made no secret of the pleasure he was feeling, wanting Spike to know that he was loving every second of it.

Finally though, Spike asked, "Are you sure, Xander?" as his fingers slowed to a stop. Xander forced his eyes open and looked into Spike's face, with its too large, confused eyes.

"I'm sure, baby. Want you inside of me. Wanna feel it, please?"

As Spike slid his fingers out, Xander spread his legs even wider, mutely begging that Spike hurry. He knelt up, and then there was a broad pressure against Xander's ass. Lifting one leg to rest it against Spike's shoulder, he fought the urge to beg out loud for faster and harder.

Finally, Spike pressed hard enough to breach Xander, sliding all the way in on one smooth stroke. "Yes, yes, yes, yes," chanted Xander as Spike started to move, pressing on his prostate every time he moved.

One of Spike's hands was wrapped around his cock, as he held himself up with the other. The look on his face was best described as bliss mixed with fear, and his eyes never wavered from Xander's.

The pleasure building in Xander was so intense that he could have cried. "God, Spike, feels so fucking good - love it, love it, love you..."

Spike's rhythm stuttered and stopped as he froze. Xander realized then what he'd said. "Yes... love you... please, please don't stop..."

"I... love you too..." Spike whispered, and resumed moving. Each stroke brought Xander closer to coming, and when Spike's hand tightened slightly, that was all it took. Crying out, he came hard, pumping up into the tight fist.

Spike started begging, "Please, oh, please... Sir, please!"

"Now, Spike... now, for god's sake!" Spike's body formed a perfect bow, as he pumped fast and hard into Xander's body.

Finally, Spike collapsed and then rolled off Xander with an apology. Xander murmured, "It's okay, baby," and pulled him close. Curling his body around Spike's smaller one, they both drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Nine

Two days later, Xander started building the priest's hole in the basement. It wasn't very big, but it didn't have to be. Just large enough that Spike could sit in it; at first it had no light, no power.

One dry run with Spike and that was all it took to send Xander back to the drawing board, adding one outlet with a small nightlight. It required being doubly certain that no light could get through, but better that than having Spike be nearly catatonic from the dark.

The girls were invaluable, helping Xander hang framing and walls, buying and carrying supplies so that nothing could be traced back, that Xander didn't strain healing ribs.

But in the end, they had a functioning bolt hole for Spike, so that if the military ever descended on the house there was a chance in hell that they wouldn't find him.

And not a moment too soon.

One evening, Xander took the girls out to dinner and for ice cream as a thank you for all their help. Spike elected - again - to stay home. It was very clear that he was trying to protect Xander - if he wasn't with them there would be no reason to pick a fight.

They came home to a ransacked house. Furniture was overturned and broken, windows smashed, holes punched in the walls.

Xander could barely breathe, he was so anxious to find out if Spike was okay. But before he could go down to check, they had to make sure than no bugs had been planted.

As Xander grew increasingly jittery, the girls carefully searched the house from the top to the bottom, only finding two bugs. Frighteningly enough, one of them was under Xander's bed.

They had no idea when they'd been planted - that night or earlier - and all Xander could think was that they'd heard his confession of love to Spike. That made him absolutely sick with fury.

Only after the whole place had been cleared did he finally let himself go down to the basement. Carefully opening the entrance to the hidden room, he was relieved and amused to find Spike, eyes closed and head bobbing to music only he could hear.

Xander was frantic. They had been lucky - Spike had heard two of the men as they came up the walk, giving him just enough time to get to the basement and lock himself in before they could find him. Next time, they might not get that break.

Again, Spike brought up the idea of leaving. This time, Xander seriously considered it.

This time, it was Spike who called Giles.

"Watcher."

"Spike! How are you?"

"I've... been better. Usually when I was evil. But these days, it's easy to be good, since I don't dare leave the house."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure this hasn't been easy for you. What can I do for you?"

Spike cleared his throat. "Hate to admit it, watcher, but we're a bit over our heads, here. Is there anything you can do to get these blokes off our arses?"

"I... don't know, Spike. The easiest thing would just be for you two to come here."

"I know, but Xander doesn't want to leave if there's any way he can avoid it."

"Let me see what I can do, but there are no guarantees."

"I know. And Giles? Thank you for all your help."

"You're most welcome, Spike."

After they hung up, Xander went out to where the girls were determinately righting furniture and cleaning up the mess. "Okay, girls, everyone go pack your bags. We're getting out of here for the night."

"Si - Xander, what are you doing?"

"We're not staying here tonight. In the morning is soon enough to deal with everything. We're all tired and stressed and that's not a good combination. It'll lead to mistakes being made, and that's even worse. So we're going to go and find a hotel to stay in for the night."

Spike nodded, and while the girls went to pack overnight bags, sidled up and whispered in his ear. "And if it means we have a door that locks for the night and possibly even on the other side of the hotel from the teen posse, this is no bad thing, yes?"

Xander grinned, even though his face felt tight from stress. "Yep. Privacy for the supposed grown ups is going to be mandatory for this outing."

Loading up the girls and Spike, Xander made a point of leaving LA proper and heading into neighboring Long Beach before he looked for a hotel. Going to the Hyatt, he requested adjoining rooms for the girls and one for Spike and him.

Their room was in a separate wing from the girls.

Once the slayers were settled in their room, Spike and Xander made their way to their room. No sooner had they gotten in the door when Spike was enfolded in Xander's arms, his face being covered in kisses. "I was so scared, baby. Thank god you're okay."

Spike clung to Xander, finally letting the terror of the evening out in a brief but fierce case of the shakes. When Xander started to touch Spike, sliding his hands underneath the shirt and caressing smooth skin, Spike started purring.

Slowly, they made their way across the floor to the bed, shedding clothes as they went. Neither one cared that it was made more difficult by the fact that neither one wanted to stop touching the other.

When they were both naked, Xander pressed Spike gently back onto the bed, dropping the bottle of lube on the nightstand, fully intending to taste every square inch of him and make him insane with want and need.

He'd hardly started when Spike was begging for more, for harder. "Shh, baby. I know what you need and I'm going to give it to you, but you have to be quiet, okay?"

Spike nodded, clenching his fists in the bedding as Xander moved over him, mouth busy. Xander started by biting Spike's neck, which he'd long since discovered could be enough to make him come all by itself. But this time, he didn't dwell, moving on to other places, other things - hotspots all.

Spike's nipples were sucked and bitten, his ribs traced. Every quivering muscle in his stomach was followed. Through it all, Xander kept up a steady whisper of what he was going to do to Spike, of how glad he was that Spike was okay.

Of how hard he was going to make him come.

Gradually, he worked his way down the front of Spike's body, licking at the hollow of his hip, biting his inner thigh hard enough to leave marks. Then, when the only part of his body that hadn't been explored thoroughly was Spike's cock, hard and leaking, Xander stopped.

As he pulled away, Spike jerked so hard that the blanket under his hands tore and his features flickered from human to demon and back again. Xander pressed his hand into Spike's cheek, and kissed him deeply. Then, "Turn over, baby."

As he kissed the back of Spike's neck, he whispered, "Gonna get inside you, baby. Gonna mark you so deep that you never wonder if you're mine again. You want that?"

"Anything," Spike moaned. "Everything you want, Xander."

"That's right, Spike. Everything. Gonna give me everything." Xander slid down over Spike's body till he was lying between his legs, spreading his cheeks so he could taste him.

Spike groaned loudly, and Xander smiled against his skin. He loved the taste of Spike. He could - and had - rimmed him for hours at a time, sometimes having to hold Spike down in the process.

But tonight - oh, tonight, he wanted something else. He wanted intense, and he got the feeling that Spike did too. So far too soon, he stopped, holding Spike's hips as he bucked and whimpered.

Grabbing the lube off the nightstand, he poured a small puddle of it onto Spike's back. Turning so he was lying on his side, one leg over Spike's, his left arm tucked under Spike's head, he slicked his fingers and slid one inside.

Spike immediately tried to grind down on his hand, but Xander stopped him simply through the virtue of being bigger. "Don't move, baby. Just lie here like a good boy and take this for me..."

He whined, deep in his throat, but nodded as well, relaxing in Xander's arms. He took that as his cue to add another finger, and then another.

For a long time, he played just like that, loving how Spike felt around him. So tempting to stop and fuck him, but Xander really did want to do something different, something that would mark Spike deep inside.

So instead, he slowly introduced a fourth finger. Spike was breathing, now - shallow panting as he was gently stretched. When Xander asked him if he was okay, he gave a strangled, "Don't stop," as an answer.

And when Xander slid his thumb inside him, he stopped breathing, stopped moving, as if he was lost in what was happening inside of him. As Xander pushed, his hand was swallowed up, till it was all inside of Spike, the tight ring of muscle a hard band around his wrist.

Carefully, Xander shifted so that he was kneeling beside him, and found that place inside that made Spike groan, pressing into it with his knuckles. As he moved, the tightness holding him in place eased, till he was moving a little easier. Slowly, oh, so slowly, he worked more and more of himself inside till most of his forearm was buried inside Spike, who was mewing like a kitten.

"Baby, can you come from this? Wanna feel you come for me..."

Spike's head tossed, his face becoming demonic once more, his hand moving under him, and suddenly he was crying out softly and becoming unbearably tight as he came.

Xander gently slid his arm out of Spike. "Told you, baby, you're mine. No matter what happens, you'll always be mine."

Spike turned and reached for Xander. "What can I -" Only then did Xander realize that he was completely, achingly hard.

"You don't have to do anything, baby..." But Spike continued to reach for him, and Xander finally wrapped his hand around his cock. "Just... just like this, baby. Jerk me off - make me come all over you."

Spike's eyes grew large, and he gently worked Xander's cock as he whimpered. It didn't take long until he was coming hard with a cry.

Ignoring the fact that they were both sticky, covered in come and lube and sweat, Xander pulled Spike close and they drifted off to sleep.

Chapter ten

Xander left Spike with the slayers in Long Beach while he went home alone to look at the damage. In daylight, it looked even worse. Xander was grateful that they hadn't been home when the soldiers had invaded - god only knows what they would have done to the girls.

While he was picking up glass and boarding up where the windows used to be, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Next time we won't wait till the little girls are gone. We want Seventeen back where he belongs - in his cage with the other animals."

And then Xander was listening to a dial tone.

***

"Giles, we have to get the girls out of here, and then Spike and I are coming there - I'm not going to risk these guys getting their hands on a trained slayer. And I'm not going to let them get Spike again, either."

"Xander, you need to calm down. This is precisely the reaction they're trying for, which is why they called you. For all you know, they've been ringing the house every half hour on the off chance that you'd be there. It does not mean they're watching the house."

"Are you willing to risk that, Giles? Truly? Cause I'm not. These bastards have demonstrated that they're willing to play for keeps and involve other humans. I don't have any idea why they want him so badly that they're willing to go over their general's orders..."

Giles cleared his throat. "I believe I might be able to shed some light on that, unfortunately. Apparently, when I asked for help from our military, I'd foreseen a, a, a polite request from one service to another. Instead, one of our generals went for expediency and used petty extortion. So now, General Tyler is willing to look the other way."

Xander threw up his hands. "Great. So we can't even go to him for help. That's it, Giles. We're getting out of here today. Book the flights. I'll come work for you as long as Spike is welcome."

Sighing, Giles said, "Okay, Xander. Get packed and we'll see how quickly we can get you all out."

"Thanks. See you soon."

***

Xander moved from room to room, packing everyone's things. He knew the girls would probably be unhappy with how heavy handed he was being, but he didn't know what else to do.

When he moved on to his and Spike's room, he paused, sitting on the edge of the bed with a black hoodie in his hands. This had been the first home he'd known since Sunnydale fell into a hole, and now he was running away to protect a vampire. How ironic was that?

He was going to miss this place.

Swallowing back tears of anger and frustration, he got busy packing.

***

When he arrived back at the hotel, he found the girls happily swimming while Spike watched from a window. He didn't have to say anything about the phone call - Spike took one look at his face and came forward to hug him tight. "Are we going, then?"

"Yeah. Giles is arranging to get the girls out first, and then us. We should have flights by tomorrow. Hope you're good with going back to work with Giles."

Spike tucked his head into Xander's neck. "I'm good with being with you. If that's in England, I'm good with it."

For a long time, they stood like that, both giving and receiving comfort. Finally, though, they had to break apart. Xander glanced at his watch and coughed. "Damn. Guess we should get the girls in here for dinner. Hungry slayers are cranky slayers, after all."

Spike chuckled. "Yeah. From what little I recall, Buffy always did get grumpy when she was peckish. God forbid that we be surrounded by four of them - they might just decide to eat us instead."

With a laugh, Xander went out to get the girls.

***

Dinner was full of forced cheerfulness. No one wanted to mention the suitcases that Xander had brought back with him, or the fact that Giles had faxed flight information for all of them to the hotel. Instead, they joked about the girls' various classes, about the fact that Xander was going to be working with the little girls in the Watchers' care, about what Spike was qualified to do.

After dinner, the girls informed the two men that they were having a "girls' night" - no men need apply. With a grin, Spike and Xander agreed, knowing that at least in part the girls were doing this to give them some privacy.

Even with vampiric healing, Spike was still too sore for them to contemplate having sex, so instead they were lying on the bed, cuddled up, not even talking when the phone ring.

It was Leslie, so hysterical as to be almost incomprehensible. While Xander tried to calm her down, Spike was already out the door, running as fast as possible to get to the girls' rooms.

He could hear Spike smash through the door, and then a fumble as he took the receiver from Leslie. "They've been here, love. They took Tanya."

"Fuck!"

Xander disconnected and set off on his own race across the building, his path detouring through the lobby on the off chance that maybe he'd see something.

When he got to the girls' rooms, he found three of the four. Leslie was still practically hysterical. Joann was unconscious - the soldiers had apparently knocked her out cold in order to get Tanya. She'd been found when the other two of the girls got tired of waiting for them for their girls' night.

Kristin was both conscious and controlled. She was also very, very angry.

Xander delegated her to call Giles while he and Spike searched the building. They returned to here what was clearly a repetition of, "No, Mr. Giles. We're not leaving. We're going to find Tanya and get her back. I'm sorry, sir, but I'm over 18 and so is Leslie and you can't actually make us do anything. Yes, sir. Yes, Mr. Harris and Spike are here now."

She handed the receiver to Xander. "Giles?"

"What is it about slayers being completely unreasonable? It's not safe for the girls there - you were right. Can you talk some sense into them? Get the other three on to the plane tomorrow? I've already got Watchers and some more experienced slayers mobilizing."

"Sorry, Giles, but I agree with Kristin. These girls have been working as a team for far too long for you to expect them to abandon Tanya. Mobilize the watchers - we'll need them - but none of us are leaving except Spike."

Simultaneously, from both Spike and Giles, "What?"

Ignoring Spike, Xander said to Giles, "Spike's leaving. He can't fight back and he's not getting hurt again. Period."

Giles laughed, not unkindly. "Good luck with that. I think the only way you're going to get him on the plane is to shock him unconscious, but you're welcome to try. You see what you can find out there, and I'll call back in about an hour. That should be just enough time for Spike to hand you your arse."

Xander hung up without saying anything further and turned to face Spike. "You know I'm right."

"I don't care. I'm not leaving and if you think I am then I'll go back to my old opinion of you - when I thought you were the biggest dunce on the planet."

Xander ignored the momentary feeling of happiness this gave him - it was one of the first times that Spike had referenced their mutual history. "At least you'll be alive - okay, undead - to think that about me."

Spike stopped for a second, and then said, "That's not fair, Xander."

"I know, but it's true."

"Here's something else that's true, then. You don't know where to look. I know where all the real training facilities are - and they would have taken her there. I know for a fact that they've wanted to get their hands on a real slayer for a long time - they won't risk playing with her someplace that's poorly guarded. More importantly, I have an idea for how to get in without being detected. And no, I won't tell you - but I'll show you."

Xander clenched his jaw. He would not scream at Spike - he wouldn't. He understood exactly where he was coming from, after all. But the idea of Spike going back into that place when he couldn't defend himself...

"Fine," he bit off. "But you stay behind us and whoever else we take with us."

"Agreed. Trust me, love - I have no intention of letting those bastards get their hands on me again. Twice was more than enough." For the first time, a hint of vulnerability touched his face. "If this fails, though..."

Xander swallowed hard. "I'll stake you myself before I leave you in their hands again. You have my word. Now, shall we get started on planning while we wait for Giles to call?"

***

Xander thought that should wait for the new arrivals, but Kristin was adamant that they go now. Joann, awake and with a hell of a headache, agreed. "It's my fault that they got her. If I hadn't turned my back they wouldn't have gotten the drop on me. I'm not leaving her in those bastards' hands."

Thinking fast, Xander considered. They were going to be outnumbered no matter what, but this way they had the bonus of giving them the benefit of surprise. "Okay, we'll go."

Spike had drawn up a crude diagram of the training facility. They all crowded around it as they discussed what was the best way to get in and out. Joann, surprisingly, was the one who was most impatient, wanting to start back to facility immediately. Xander and Kristin both refused, insisting that if they were going to do this with no back up, they were going to be as prepared as they could get.

Leslie suggested a call to Giles to tell him where he would be able to get information that they were using, in case they couldn't get out. Spike did her one better and suggested leaving the information on Giles' cell phone, which they knew he wouldn't be answering right now.

Xander insisted that everyone take a nap, regardless of whether they thought they could sleep or not. "We're all going to need to be aware when we do this. You can't do that if you're tired - so sleep or I'll drug you."

None of them wanted to be separated right now, so Joann, Leslie and Kristin curled up together in one bed and Xander and Spike took the other,

"Mr. Harris?"

"Yeah, Leslie?"

"We're gonna get her back, right?"

"Yeah. We are. I've got three slayers on my side. All they have is guns. They don't have a hope of winning."

***

Finally, they were as prepared as they were going to get. Packing every weapon they had, they piled into Xander's car, and followed Spike's directions to the base, which was about two hours from Las Angeles.

Pulling into the small town adjacent to the base, Xander looked around. They had about three hours till dawn - not a lot of time to do what needed to be done, but honestly, if they weren't out within an hour, they weren't getting out.

Parking behind the local grocery store, everyone got out of the car. While Leslie distributed weapons, Spike and Xander held a hurried whispered conference as Xander tried to convince Spike not to go, one last time.

"I'm going. Nothing you can say is going to talk me out of it, so let's not argue about it, okay?" Spike finally snapped.

Xander looked down at the ground and then back up at Spike. "Fine. But don't you dare get dusted, baby - or I'll find a way to bring you back and kick your ass."

Spike laughed softly. "It's a deal. And if you get captured, I reserve the right to administer some ass kicking of my own."

"Fair enough. Shall we go get Tanya, back?"

As if that was the cue that everyone had been waiting for, they formed up into a tight diamond shape, with Spike in the lead. For this, they were going to have to trust Spike's memory, because he was the only one who'd been inside the base before.

He led them around the side of the base and down to a small gate. It was obviously designed to let pedestrians in and out of the base - not even large enough for a car; it only had a turnstile and one guard.

He started to ask them what they were doing, but before the first word had left his mouth, Leslie was already on him, knocking him out cold and then catching him and gently lowering him to the ground. Xander and Kristin tied him up and gagged him.

Sticking to the shadows, the five of them made their way from building to building, as Spike looked increasingly distressed.

Finally, Xander couldn't stand it anymore. Pulling Spike into even deeper shadow, he asked, "Spike? You keeping it together, baby? Or do you need us to find a way to hide you while we finish this?"

Spike shook his head violently. "I'll be alright. We're just... we're getting close. You can tell if you look at the slayers." And he was right - all three girls were looking more and more on edge as their senses told them they were getting closer to a large group of vampires and demons.

Xander nodded. "You tell me if you can't handle it anymore. We'll find a way to get you out of here safely, okay?"

Spike grimaced but agreed. Gesturing for the slayers to come closer, he pointed at the building one over. "That's the actual entrance, but the facility is underground and I'm wagering that we should be able to get in through this building's ventilation system. You girls need to remember when we get down there that all of the vampires and demons are chipped - they can't fight back, alright?"

This time it was Leslie who followed the train of thought into the station. "You're going to let them all loose, aren't you?"

Looking defensive, Spike said, "Can you think of anything better to cover our tracks? The chaos should aid us quite a bit in getting back out - because we are going to set off alarms getting to Tanya."

As if the thought had just occurred to her, Joann asked, "Do you think they would have chipped her? Or what should we expect as far as what kind of state she's going to be in?"

Spike shrugged. "I doubt they'll have chipped her, yet - I don't even know if the chips would work on humans. She'll probably be doped and exhausted, but I doubt they would have done much to her besides maybe a physical or something - she's too valuable to abuse."

Xander clapped his hands softly. "Enough speculation, folks. Let's get moving."

The group crept around the building to the front door - this was some sort of barracks, and the front door was open with one guard on duty. Quickly enough, he was unconscious and tied up, stashed in a janitor's closet. Putting up a "Back in five minutes" sign that they found on the desk, they hoped that it would be enough to make anyone who found him missing to think he'd gone to the bathroom or something.

Finding the stairwell, they went down to the basement, where Spike hushed them all and listened hard. A grim smile on his face, he nodded, and they all started looking for an entrance to the air vents.

A soft whistle from Kristen and they all gathered around her. Thankfully, Spike had brought a screwdriver, and it was only a matter of a few minutes for Xander to open the grating.

Without light, crawling through the ventilation system was a nightmare. The only one who could see at all was Spike, in the lead, so the rest of them crawled blindly and hoped that they were quiet enough not to draw attention.

Only Xander was close enough to touch Spike, and so he was the only one who realized how badly he was shaking. Tightening his hand around Spike's ankle, he offered comfort in the only way he could.

Sudden bright light burned through the darkness, coming in the vent. Peering out through watering eyes, Spike and Xander found a near replica of the Initiative - white featureless cubes with clear doors, filled with bored looking demons.

There were two guards at either end of the hall, and a gaggle of what looked like white coated scientists clustered so tightly in front of one cage that Xander couldn't see what was in it - but he'd wager that it contained Tanya.

Joann squirmed up so that she could see, and then silently pointed out a control station, located about a third of the way down on the right. Spike pointed at himself, and then the station. Xander nodded.

Pointing at Joann and Leslie, he pointed at the further set of guards, and then himself and Kristin for the closer ones. Spike looked like he wanted to argue, but bit his lip and nodded.

The three girls gripped each other's hands hard as Spike silently counted down from five. On one, he kicked in the panel, following hard on its heels. As Joann and Leslie made their way up one side, Xander followed Kristin at a hard run.

Thankfully, they were all moving fast enough that before the guards could think to use their guns, they were too close. Tangling in hand to hand, it was a matter of a few minutes to knock out their pair. As Xander turned to look, the other slayers had their two down on the ground as well, but now the scientists were starting to get involved.

One of them - an officer by the arrogant tilt of his head - looked at the girls and said, "More slayers - we need to capture them!" The other scientists went a little pale at the idea of slayers loose and were obviously smarter than the first guy as well - not one of them moved.

Until they realized that Spike was at the control panel.

Then several of them broke, trying to get to him to stop him from opening the cages. Xander started running as well, cursing the fact that they were going to get to him before he would.

Spike went down under the scientists just as he finally managed to trigger the locks. Xander was frantically pulling scientists away, and the three girls went to the cage they'd assumed was Tanya's.

She was sitting in the corner, bruised and battered, but thankfully still dressed. As the girls came into the cage, she jumped to her feet, only relaxing as she recognized them.

Out in the hall, Xander had finally managed to dig down in the pile of people to reach Spike, pulling him up and on his feet. Chaos was erupting as the various demons spilled out of the cages.

Xander whistled. "Girls! Now!" and as if they'd rehearsed it, all four spun and ran straight for him. They didn't pause when they got to him, just enveloping Spike and Xander into a tight formation of pissed off slayers.

Up the stairs, then, and pausing to wait as various demons passed them and headed out into the base. Then they fled, heading in a straight line back to the car.

Anyone who got in their way was summarily knocked out without even slowing down, and as they escaped through the pedestrian gate, the alarm started to sound.

***

When they got back to the car, Xander looked back at the girls. "You guys have anything at the hotel you can't live without?"

Joann and Leslie shook their heads, while Tanya looked visibly shaken at the idea of going back and Kristin tried to comfort her.

"Good."

With that, Xander headed out, taking Route fifteen away from Los Angeles and towards Las Vegas.

Close to dawn, they stopped long enough to pull out a blanket to wrap Spike in and to hide the various weapons they were carrying, and then they didn't stop again until they got to Las Vegas.

Xander racked his brain trying to decide where to stay. His first inclination was to go to one of the no-name motels off the strip, but the problem with that was that they'd have little to no security. If something happened again, he wanted tracks - big ones.

So instead, he called Giles and arranged to have him set up reservations at the Luxor, one of the largest hotels on the strip. This time, there were only two rooms, and they adjoined. No one wanted to take the risk of someone getting taken again while separated.

It didn't take long to get most of the girls settled for the night. Spike led Tanya to the bathroom, where he bandaged the various cuts and scrapes she'd taken while being captured.

She and Spike spent a long time in the bathroom, long enough that Xander actually had started to knock on the door when he heard soft, girlish sobs. Deciding that Spike probably was the best person to be with her right now, he left them alone and lay down on the bed.

He woke up briefly when Spike climbed in, just long enough to kiss him and ask if everything was all right. Spike shushed him and said, "Yes, she'll be fine."

Then Xander went back to sleep and didn't know any more.

***

When he woke up, the message light was blinking on the phone. When he called down to the front desk, he discovered that everyone had slept right through the day and most of the night - which explained why he was starving - and that there was a package waiting for him at the front desk.

Leaving Spike asleep, he went next door and knocked softly on the girls' door. A tired looking Tanya answered. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little," she answered.

"Want to come down to the desk with me?"

She gave him a shy smile and agreed. Together, they rode down the inclinator to the main floor. The sounds of thousands of slot machines rang throughout the hotel, making it impossible to hear more subtle sounds.

Tanya was jumpy, continuously glancing over her shoulder and looking around. Xander waited till he could catch her eye and then took her hand. "No one is going to take you, Tanya. If they try, they'll not only get their asses handed to them by you, but I'll help. Besides, we're surrounded by people. Now let's go see what we have waiting for us at the desk."

Presenting his ID, he was surprised to have a heavy FedEx box handed to him. Inside was a letter.

Dear Xander,

It was very foolish of you to attempt the base without greater assistance. That said, I understand why you did it, and am very glad that you managed to get Tanya out in one piece.

Enclosed you will find credit cards in yours, Spike's, Leslie's, Kristin's and Tanya's names. Joann does not have one as she is under age. Additionally, each of you has a set of ID.

The military is definitely looking for you. There are flags up for two men and four girls, traveling together. The best thing would be for you to send Joann to us from Las Vegas and then make your way across country, stopping at major airports to send us the rest of the girls separately.

I know that you and Spike feel strongly about staying together, and I can't disagree with that feeling, however, it is imperative that you do NOT fly together. You will be reunited here.

While I wish that we could get you all out of the country today, I believe it is in your best interests to use a week or so and spread out the take offs from different airports from a scattered group of airports. It will make it less likely that there will be any problems with the six of you arriving here.

Yours,

Giles

Xander didn't pull out any of the other papers, simply thanking the counter girl with a smile and leading Tanya back upstairs.

When they got back to the room, they found three very agitated slayers and a suspiciously silent vampire. As soon as they walked in, the three girls pounced on Tanya, talking over each other and making her promise not to leave without a note again.

Xander looked at Spike. "Um, oops?"

"Yeah, I'd say oops just about covers it. Please let us know where you're going before you wander off again? We know the military is probably looking for us."

Tossing him Giles' letter, Xander said, "Definitely looking for us. We have some things from Giles here." With that, he dumped the box on the bed. It contained six cell phones and envelopes for each of them.

Handing them out, everyone opened them to discover driver's licenses, passports and credit cards. Each phone was programmed with the other phones' numbers as well as Giles. Each girl also had their own watchers' numbers programmed.

As the girls guiltily called their watchers to let them know they were okay, Xander looked at the name on his documents - James Peterson. "Spike? Do I look like a James to you?"

Spike was staring in disgust at his own documents. "No - you're definitely a Jimmy. Bloody watchers and their bloody senses of humor."

"What's wrong?"

Without a word, Spike handed over the green card that was in his envelope - made out to Randy Melville. "Giles probably thinks this is hilarious."

Xander couldn't help it - he started snickering helplessly. "Randy?"

Morosely, Spike said, "Randy."

Still giggling, Xander asked, "So, would Giles have any reason to think that you're randy? I mean, I know you are."

Joann squealed loudly in disgust. "Ewwwww!"

"I second that. Giles? Ewww." Spike did look fairly horrified by the idea.

There was a small tube containing an opalescent liquid that was labeled for Spike. The card that was attached instructed him to drink it ten minutes prior to going through security at the airport. Spike looked confused but tucked it into a pocket anyway.

"Okay, girls. Here's the plan. We're going shopping, first. You all have credit cards except for Joann, and I'll buy her clothes. Then tomorrow, we put Joann on a flight to Giles. The rest of us are going for a drive. As we come to major cities, we'll send one person off till we're all in England. Everyone clear?"

To be honest, Xander suspected he'd lost them all at the idea that they were getting paid for shopping sprees, but no one argued and that's all he really cared about.

"So, who's up for the mall?"

***

Much, much later that night, Xander collapsed on the bed. "Remind me why I thought taking four Buffy clones shopping with no limits was a good idea?"

Spike smiled and helped Xander roll over so that he could rub Xander's back. "Oh, god, baby - I'm keeping you just so you can do that forever."

Soft lips pressed against the base of his neck. "Just for that? Are you sure? Nothing else you want?"

"Anything you want, baby, as long as it doesn't require me to move."

Spike chuckled, a low soft sound, as he continued to find each knot in Xander's back and rub them out. "How about a slow, soft blow job? Think you're willing to roll over for that?"

"Oh, god..." Somehow Xander found enough energy to flop over on his back. Spike helped him out of his jeans and slid down his body.

As that cool, wet mouth surrounded him, Xander let out a harsh gasp. "Fuck, you're good at that. I could just move into your mouth - how does that sound?"

Spike gave another of those soft chuckles, and Xander grabbed the blanket as the vibration moved up his spine.

There was no urgency to the blow job, no hurry. It was just soft, and gentle, and wet and oh, so fucking good. Spike seemed to just want to be there forever, and Xander certainly wasn't going to object.

But even a slow blow job will eventually start to heat up, and that started to happen. Spike's hips started moving as he rubbed against the bed, and that sight pushed him harder than anything else - for Spike to have broken his old training like that was just hotter than hot.

"Yeah, baby. Oh, god - gonna come from sucking me? Want you to - want to know I make you that hard and needy."

Spike started to moan around his mouthful of cock, sending shivers up and down Xander's spine. As Spike cried out and spilled, Xander followed a second later.

Tugging Spike up so that they were lying together, he pulled the blanket up over them and wrapped them up so that Spike would stay warm

Chapter Eleven

The next morning, there was grumbling as the girls packed their new clothes into their suitcases and piled into the car. The only plane ticket that Giles had sent was Joann's - making it clear that he expected her to be in England tomorrow morning.

So breakfast was subdued as the girls took in the fact that they were being split up. Xander tried to reassure them that they'll be back together soon, but it sounded hollow. They were all painfully aware that the military could catch up with them at any time.

The girls all wanted to go to the airport with Xander and Joann, but Spike pointed out that if people were on the look out for four teenaged girls and two adult men, taking that exact grouping to the airport would attract the wrong kind of attention.

So, in the end, it was Xander and Kristin who took Joann to the airport, and saw her off through security. As soon as she was out of sight, they returned to the hotel and picked up everyone else.

After checking out, they headed out of town on Fifteen, towards Salt Lake City. But instead of following all the way through, they detoured onto Seventy towards Denver. Once there, they found a small bed and breakfast called the Holiday Chalet.

Renting a suite, Spike and Xander surrendered any possibility of having private time together. When Spike spotted the picture of Queen Victoria hanging in the bedroom, though, the smile on his face made it worth it.

The evening was spent in a quiet fight about which girl was getting on the plane tomorrow. Both Kristin and Leslie were of the opinion that Tanya should go - their logic being that they were used to working together. The unstated portion of the argument was that Tanya had already been taken once, and no one wanted to risk her being taken again. The sooner they got her out, the less likely that was to happen.

Surprisingly, Spike disagreed. His opinion, quietly voiced, was that if Tanya wanted to face her fears, that was her right, and no one had the right to take that away from her.

Even though Xander agreed privately with Kristin and Leslie, the fact that Spike voiced an opinion at all pleased him so much that regardless of his own personal feelings, he agreed with him.

So the next morning, Xander and Kristin took Leslie to the airport. It took a little doing, but a credit card with no limit can work miracles, and they managed to get her on an outgoing flight leaving in two hours.

***

This time, they decided that the next place they were going to put someone on a flight was St Louis, so they broke the drive into two pieces. The first night, they'd gotten as far as Topeka when Xander declared a stop.

It was so late that for once Xander was perfectly willing to stop at the local Days Inn. The rooms weren't really big enough for four, so he managed to get two that were adjoining.

As soon as they checked in, Spike pulled Xander in and pushed him up against the wall. "Think the baby slayers will give us some time before they pester us for dinner?"

Just then, there was a knock on the door. "No, I really don't."

Before he could get to the door, though, the knocking became frantic. Opening it, he didn't have time to say anything before Tanya was pulling him to a window. Out in the parking lot were several hummers. "Fuck."

"Yeah. What do we do now, Mr. Harris?"

"Quickly, grab your bags and out the back stairs. Spike, you go with the slayers. I will be there in five minutes, so be ready to roll."

The hummer had disappeared, but Xander didn't take any chances, just slipping out a side door and into his car. Keeping low, he started the engine and circled around to the back door. Spike and the girls ran out, throwing their bags in and climbing over each other to get in the back door.

Driving so as to attract no attention, Xander went into the next rental agency he saw. When he came out, he told Spike to follow him, and got into a huge SUV with heavily tinted windows.

Two blocks down, he pulled over, and waited as everyone transferred bags from one car to the other. As soon as they were all loaded, he told Spike to leave the keys in the ignition and the car unlocked and they took off.

When Xander found Route thirty-five, he swung onto it. "Anyone up for Des Moines?"

Spike asked, "What the hell is in Iowa?"

"An airport, and a drugstore."

"A... drugstore?" That was Kristin.

"Yep. We're all getting dye jobs and then haircuts. Then you and Tanya are getting on a flight together - two girls instead of four or one should throw them off, hopefully."

He could see Tanya looking at her hair and then in the rearview mirror. "Yep, you too, Tanya. They make temporary dyes, but we're all going to be a different color by tomorrow night."

Four hours later, they were all standing in the Walgreens, as the girls picked over the selection of dye. Spike hadn't even gone for the peroxide, for which Xander was grateful. He had heard enough from the girls about his idea - if he'd had to explain to Spike why white blond was a no go idea, he was going to go postal.

Instead, Spike had picked up shoe polish black, which gave him some sort of private smile, as if he was remembering something funny. Xander picked up a light red, and then the two of them waited impatiently for the girls to finally pick some colors.

Tanya was going bright red, while Kristen ended up picking up the same shade. When Xander pointed it out, they just grinned and observed that their ID showed the same last name. This way they could look like sisters.

Back in the hotel room, there was a frenzy of dying and washing as everyone changed their hair color. Xander felt like the world's biggest dork with the red he'd picked, and Spike looked...

Well, Spike still looked like sex on a stick because Spike always looked sexy. But now he looked like some sort of goth, with his too-black hair, black clothes and pale skin.

The girls actually looked lovely - possibly Irish with the bright red hair that somehow on Kristin was darker and even more intense. Tanya's hair was gorgeous as well. "I think I may just keep it this color," she said, looking in the mirror. Spike, who was standing behind her, checking to make sure that she hadn't missed any spots, smiled and ran a hand through her hair.

As they got ready to go get dinner, Xander went to check the cooler that held Spike's blood. They were down to half a bag of blood, and he looked up in concern. With the military on their backs, they didn't dare stop to pick any up.

Spike nodded and then looked meaningfully at the two girls. Unhappily, Xander shelved it, only to have Spike slide up next to him and whisper, "I have enough till we get them on a plane. We'll talk about it after they're gone, okay, love?"

Still not happy, Xander closed the cooler and set it aside. "Okay - next stop is for everyone to get haircuts."

At Kristin's groan, Xander faked a smile. "Nope, you don't get a break. If I'm making Spike cut his, what makes you think you're getting out of it?"

"Aw, man."

"Cheer up - The Council is paying the tab here, girls."

With that, he herded everyone back out to the car, and headed to the mall. Thankfully, they had a Hair Cuttery inside, so getting everyone a cut was a matter of only an hour or so.

When they left the mall, Xander had a crew cut, Spike's hair was, well, spiked, Kristin had really short hair, and Tanya's was now cut into a soft bob. Not one of them looked the same.

"So, tonight is the last night any of you are going to be in the states. What do you want to do?"

Kristin and Tanya just looked at him, and he realized that both of them looked completely exhausted. "How about going back to the hotel and going to sleep?" Both of them just nodded, and Spike led the way back to the car.

***

Once the girls were in their room, Xander moved up into Spike's personal space, running his hands through Spike's carelessly coiffured hair. "You know, you were getting ready to start something earlier before we got interrupted."

"Oh, really?" Spike breathed.

"Yes, really. And I don't know about you, but I could go for some... stress relief right about now."

Spike's eyelids fluttered, and Xander tugged hard on the handful of hair he was holding. That caused a soft moan, and then they were kissing like the other was made of air and they were suffocating.

Finally, they broke apart, and Xander whispered against Spike's ear, "I want you naked and standing next to the bed in thirty seconds."

Only a vampire could have stripped as fast as Spike did, and by the time Xander was naked as well, Spike was already next to the bed, eyes cast down and hands crossed behind his back. His cock was hard and tight against his belly, and Xander ran a casually possessive hand up it as he settled on the side of the bed, tossing a tube of slick next to him.

"Lie across my lap, baby. It's been far too long since I've turned your pretty ass pink for me."

Eagerly, Spike draped himself across Xander's lap, ass centered and cock pressed between Xander's thighs. As soon as Spike was settled enough that Xander wasn't worried about him sliding off, he started peppering his ass with light smacks, each one leaving a faint pink handprint.

"Such a good boy, you are. Pretty little ass, all pink for me." *smack* "Gonna squirm and cry for me?" *slap* "Gonna beg me to fuck you?" *smack* "Yeah, I think you are." *smack, slap* "Think when I'm done, you're gonna get down on your knees and beg for my cock. Think that you want that..." *smacksmacksmack*

Pretty soon, Xander had to clamp his legs shut on Spike's cock, because he was moving so much on his lap that he was in danger of sliding off. Whispers of sounds turned to whimpers turned to moans and then begging as he continued.

When Spike's ass was a solid red and burning to the touch, he finally stopped, running a possessive hand over the hot flesh. "You mine, baby?"

"God, yes, Xander. Please, fuck me!"

"On the floor, baby. Suck me nice and soft."

Spike slid to the floor. Taking just the head of Xander's cock into his mouth, he suckled softly. "Yeah, that's a good boy," Xander whispered, fighting the urge to fuck up into that cool, wet mouth. Instead, he ran his hands through Spike's hair, over and over again.

After a few minutes, Xander reluctantly interrupted for a moment. "Give me your hand, baby."

Spike didn't even break suction, just holding up his right hand. Xander spread a generous amount of lube on his fingers. "Open yourself for me, baby. Get your hole all slick so I can slide right in."

His hand disappeared behind him, and a groan vibrated Xander's cock. The knowledge of what Spike was doing it - that he was doing it because Xander told him to - pushed Xander even higher and he couldn't take it for long.

Finally, his hands clenched in Spike's hair and pulled him off his cock. "Stop, baby. Come up here and sit in my lap."

Spike scrambled to his feet and then knelt with his knees on either side of Xander's hips. Carefully, slowly, Xander guided him down till he was settled in the cup of Xander's hips. Still gentle, he helped Spike rearrange himself so that he was literally sitting, legs wrapped around Xander's back.

Some of the urgency melted away, and now Xander was in that place where he could do this all night long. So instead of moving, he lowered his head to Spike's nipple, sucking and biting at it long past the point where it was hard, until it was puffy and red, and still Spike moaned and shook in his arms.

Straightening up, he looked into Spike's eyes and then kissed him. "You're so good, baby. You like this?"

"Yes, da - Xander," Spike said and then ducked his head.

"What was that, baby?"

Head still ducked so that Xander couldn't see anything but his forehead and a bit of cheek, Spike mumbled, "Daddy."

The word did something funny to Xander, making his stomach twist in good ways. "It's okay, baby. You can call me daddy if you need to."

Spike buried his face in Xander's neck and whispered, "Thank you, daddy."

"You're welcome, baby. Now, don't do anything - daddy's gonna help you ride his cock." With that, Xander hooked his hands under Spike's thighs, lifting him slightly and then settling him back. Spike gasped against his neck, and Xander smiled.

"Feel good, baby? Want more?" Spike didn't say anything, just nodded, and Xander did it again.

Then he adjusted his hands so that they were spread over Spike's ass, spreading him wide. Lifting his arms, he managed to lift Spike most of the way up his cock, and this time when he lowered him, he managed to sink in a bit more.

"Da - daddy! So big... feels so g-good." Spike's voice was breathy, high pitched.

"Yeah, baby. You feel good, too." Xander was finding a rhythm now, sinking in deep, pausing, then lifting Spike again.

Spike's hands tangled with Xander's hair. "Daddy, can I - can I have a kiss, please?"

Xander didn't bother to answer, just turning his head and kissing Spike deeply. Suddenly, he needed more, needed it faster. Getting a good solid grip on Spike, he stood up and turned around. Without pulling out, he laid Spike on his back and started to move fast and deep.

"Oh, oh, oh..." Spike cried, moving with Xander.

"Touch yourself, baby. Want my good boy to come for me..." Xander panted.

"Yes, daddy." Spike wrapped a hand around his cock and started to pull it in time to Xander's thrusts. It didn't take long - Spike was obviously close, and moments after he started touching himself, he was coming, pulling Xander with him.

Once Xander could breathe, he pulled Spike close and wrapped his body around him. "Love you, baby."

Spike nuzzled into Xander's neck. "Love you too, Xander."

***

It was still dark when Spike woke Xander with a hand over his mouth. He startled awake, just barely able to see Spike with one finger over his mouth. When he nodded, Spike lifted the other from his face.

"There's two soldiers in the hallway, arguing over whether they should try to take the girls or if they should wait for reinforcements."

"Shit." Xander couldn't take out two soldiers by himself, but there was no way to wake the girls and Spike couldn't help. That left him trying anyway and hoping that the surprise brought him some luck.

Xander rolled to his feet and quietly pulled on his jeans. He wasn't really surprised to see Spike doing the same thing on the other side of the bed. "You stay here - maybe call the girls once I'm in the hall."

Spike nodded. Xander crept over to the door and peeked out the peephole. He could just barely see the two men standing in front of the girls' door. Grabbing his courage with both hands, he flung open the door and charged.

Somehow, he wasn't surprised when Spike came running out of the door right behind him. He knew full well how stubborn and self sacrificing Spike could be.

At the last moment, Xander veered so he ran full force into the smaller of the two who was fumbling with his gun. Spike smacked into the larger one, knocking him off his feet and clutching at his head as he moaned in pain.

Xander was thankful for that second of leeway with the big guy, since he had his hands full, trying to find another opening to land a significant punch on the one still on his feet.

He heard his ribs crack as the guy swung his pistol into them, but somehow managed to stay on his feet. With a strangled yell, he threw a desperate punch that through luck or something else managed to land perfectly on the guy's chin. He must have had a glass jaw, because he went down like a ton of bricks.

Panting, he managed to bend enough to pick up the guy's gun. Pointing it at the other guy who was struggling to his feet, he motioned for the guy to drag his partner into the room.

Spike was back on his feet, looking more than a little nauseated, but he ripped up sheets to tie the two of them up and then gagged them. He then went to wake up the girls.

Moving carefully so as not to aggravate re-broken ribs, Xander managed to throw the few things they'd unpacked into the one bag they'd brought up. He could hear the girls now, and was unsurprised when Spike showed up to take the bag from him.

Leaving the two soldiers in the room, they ran for the car. Only there, did Xander notice that they'd left Spike's cooler behind. When he said something to Spike, he just shrugged. "Was empty, pet. They can have it."

Since it was still dark, Spike drove while Xander sat between Kristen and Tanya in the back seat for them to patch up. Thankfully, cracked ribs were the extent of the damage, and one of the things that had stayed with them was Xander's first aid kit, enabling them to tape them.

As soon as they were done, Xander grabbed the phone and started calling airlines. He managed to get the girls on a flight leaving from Chicago in the afternoon, and Spike, who'd been driving randomly, headed towards the highway.

Chapter Twelve

"How the hell are they still tracking us, Spike?" Xander whispered.

"I don't know. Unless... they're somehow homing in on the chip or something."

Xander and Spike exchanged a horrified glance. Then, looking back at the girls, Spike floored the accelerator. "The faster we get them off the happier that I'll be."

"Me too."

***

Chicago was a zoo, but they managed to find the airport on their third try. Spike circled as Xander helped the girls get checked in and through security, and then he rushed out to meet Spike.

"Anything?"

"Not a god damn thing. It doesn't make any sense. If they're using the chip to track us, how the hell do we get ahead of them at all? Why couldn't they find me in your basement?"

"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense!"

The two of them circled randomly through Chicago trying to decide where to go now. Xander was all for dumping the car and getting out through Chicago before anyone caught up with them. Spike wasn't so sure, though. And due Xander's ribs, he really couldn't drive, so they were going to have to stop soon, before the sun came up.

"If they're watching for the girls, they would have seen them leave. We don't want to draw any more attention to them if that's the case."

"Besides, the best thing would be for you to leave me behind. You could get out if it wasn't for me."

"Leaving you to get caught by them?" Xander was more than a little horrified. "Not a chance in hell. I'm seeing you off before I leave, and that's the end of it."

"You could move faster without me. Besides, they're not really looking for you, are they?"

"That was low, Spike. They're not any happier with me than they are with you and you know it."

Spike looked ashamed and ducked his head. "I know, I just want to keep you safe."

Xander nodded. "Well, we're both on similar pages - I want to keep you safe. So we both stay safe and we're good to go."

Sighing, Spike asked, "is there any way I can convince you to go without me?"

"Nope. Not a chance in hell, so just stop asking."

Giving up, Spike continued to circle as they tried to figure out where they were going. His movements were sharp and angry as he steered the behemoth of an SUV.

Xander stared out the window, feeling torn in two by conflicting emotions. On the one side, Spike was actively arguing with him, and that made him incredibly proud. He had come a long way in a very short period.

On the other hand, why did he have to pick now to argue? Couldn't he have stayed obedient till they'd gotten to England?

"Spike? I want you to know that... I'm very proud of you for arguing with me. Wish you'd pick a different topic to fight about, though."

He didn't say anything, but if the flush in his cheeks was any indication, he was embarrassed as hell to have Xander call attention to it.

Finally, they stopped at a small motel that was only a step above the Bates motel - and that a very small step. The room looked as if it had last been cleaned when Reagan was still an actor, and Xander wouldn't actually get into the bed, but he could lie down on top of the covers and give his ribs a break.

Spike ran out to the closest fast food place and grabbed a burger for Xander. When he returned, Xander realized that they had no blood for Spike.

"I'll be okay, Xander. I was only getting fed twice a week, before. I can miss a few meals."

"We need you to be in the best condition that you can, Spike. That means not missing a meal." Spike looked obstinate.

"What, you going to wave your wand and provide a bag of blood?" Xander pulled out a knife. "No fuckin' way. Put that damn thing away." But before he could say anything else or take the knife away, Xander had already drawn it across his palm, cutting deep.

"Bloody hell, Xander! What the hell?" But the smell of blood - fresh, warm, human blood was obviously having an effect. Spike's features were wavering in and out, and his hands were tight fists.

"It's going to go to waste, Spike. So just shut up and drink it, already."

Spike paused, obviously fighting with himself. Then he fell to his knees and wrapped his hands carefully around Xander's wrist, licking delicately at the blood running down his fingers.

As the tongue grew closer to the deep cut on his palm, Xander shivered. He'd had no idea how erotic this was, and it was erotic. When Spike finally wrapped his lips around the cut itself, Xander couldn't help the moan.

Spike nursed delicately at the wound, and with every pull of suction Xander felt it all the way down to his groin. All the pain in his body faded back to a shadow, and he grew lightheaded.

He came back to himself as Spike pulled away. He was shocky, which wasn't really a surprise, so he was slow to react when Spike picked up the knife and sliced open his own wrist.

"Wha -? No..." Xander tried to stop Spike as the bloody wrist was put in front of his mouth.

"Not gonna turn you, you bloody idiot. Didn't take enough for that. Just going to replace some of your blood volume. Now drink."

Xander would have kept fighting it, but he was dizzy and not thinking clearly. So when Spike pressed his wrist to his mouth, he swallowed, and then again, and then he was drinking thirstily. The blood tasted like copper pennies, but it did something that assuaged his sudden thirst.

When Spike tried to pull his wrist away, Xander fought him, trying to not lose that connection. He faintly heard an "I'm sorry," then there was a blow to the side of his head. And everything. Went. Black.

***

When he woke up, he was surprised to have only a faint headache. When he sat up, he was even more surprised to find that his ribs were much better as well.

Spike looked like hell, on the other hand. "Baby?"

"How's your head, Xander?" Spike asked flatly.

"A little sore. What happened?"

"I couldn't get you to stop drinking. Had to club you in the head to get you to stop."

Xander felt a sudden rush of guilt. "Are you okay?"

"Feel kind of like I clubbed myself, but I'll be alright." Spike was holding himself stiffly, pulled away.

"Come here, baby. Want you next to me."

Spike crawled up on the bed and into Xander's arms, but lay stiff and unresponsive until Xander kissed him softly. "Thank you, baby. I'm sorry that I made you hit me."

He shrugged and curled in tighter. "I'll be alright. That was a damn fool thing to do - giving me your blood. What if I hadn't stopped?"

"I knew you would. Never thought for a second that you wouldn't."

Spike sighed. "Please don't do that again?"

Nodding and then shrugging, Xander said, "Hopefully we'll be out of here tomorrow and I won't have to."

Curled up together for comfort and warmth, they both drifted for a while. Then Spike asked, "What are we going to do in England?"

Xander said, "I think Giles has some idea of having me work with the younger slayers in training. If we could find a way to remove or disable your chip I don't see any reason you couldn't work with the older girls - how better to teach them than to give them a real vampire to fight against?"

Spike chuckled. "Shades of Sunnydale. You got any idea how many slayers there are?"

"Not really. At least a couple of hundred. Not all of them go to England for training - only those whose families either won't accept them or for whom being a slayer puts them in special forms of danger - thus no slayers in California and only a few in all of the US. Most of them are evacuated as soon as they're found."

"A couple of hundred?" Spike whistled. "That's just unbelievable."

"Not really. Most of them aren't at the Watchers' headquarters, so the numbers just seem to be high." Xander stretched, surprised that his ribs didn't hurt anymore. "Tell you what. Let's get some sleep and leave late this afternoon. We should be able to get to someplace on the east coast by morning and then we can see what flights we should try for."

Spike nodded. "Sounds like a plan to me."

They were both quiet, then Spike rolled so that he was propped up above Xander. "Are you actually tired?"

"Not really. You?"

"Not particularly. Got used to sleeping during the night with you. Maybe - maybe we could do something to tire ourselves out."

Xander gently reversed their positions. "You want to play, baby?"

Spike took a deep shuddering breath. "Yes, please. Anything you want."

Thrusting gently, Xander reminded him. "It's everything I want, Spike. And I want everything."

Whimpering, Spike nodded. "Everything. It's all yours, Xander."

Xander bent down and kissed him deeply, plundering his mouth. When both of them were panting harshly, Xander rolled to one side. "Take your clothes off, baby."

Spike stood up and shed his clothes, and then simply stood there, unashamed. His skin was pale and unmarked, cock hard and tight.

Standing up, Xander stripped as well. Then, slowly, he sank to his knees. Spike grabbed his arm, trying to pull him to his feet, but Xander resisted. "What I want, baby. And right now I want to taste you."

Moaning, Spike tried to firm his stance as Xander wrapped his hands around Spike's ass, guiding his cock into his mouth. Licking softly, Xander took it in slowly.

Every inch of Spike's cock was tasted, licked thoroughly, suckled. As more and more of his cock disappeared into Xander's mouth, Spike's whimpers and cries became louder, more pronounced.

When Xander had taken the last bit in, he let go of Spike and simply knelt there. Spike looked down at him, confused. "Xander?"

In answer, Xander sucked harder for a moment, just as quickly backing off. The next time Spike whimpered his name, it was louder, more desperate, and Xander answered by swallowing hard.

Finally, Spike's hips jerked forward. Xander hummed, and Spike did it again.

Each movement of Spike's was rewarded, until Spike was fucking into Xander's mouth. Not carelessly, but fast and hard.

Xander was loving every second of this, wanting more and more, but it wasn't his complete plan. Finally, he brought his hands back up to Spike's hips and held him still, pulling his mouth off of his cock.

"Lie down for me, baby."

Spike immediately crawled up on the bed and turned onto his back, spreading his legs wide. Xander followed him, kneeling between his legs.

Running soft hands over his skin, he petted and stroked every inch of Spike. "So very pretty, baby. Love seeing you all hard and wanting for me."

Shuddering, Spike arched up into the touch. "Oh, hell, Xander. What you do to me."

Xander carefully slid down Spike. "Lift your legs, baby. Wanna taste you." Spike pulled up his knees to his chest, baring his entrance to Xander, who spread his cheeks even wider and touched his tongue to it, causing Spike to whimper and cry out.

Slowly, Xander licked and tasted Spike, nibbling around the edges and sliding his tongue into him. Only when Spike was begging and moving up into Xander's mouth did he stop.

Getting back up on his knees, he whispered, "Keep your legs like that, baby. Gonna fill you all up now."

Xander looked around for something slick, but there wasn't anything nearby. Spike apparently realized what he was doing because he said, "Don't need it - 'm wet enough. Just fuck me, please..."

Xander knew that he shouldn't do it - knew that he should stop and go to fetch the lube out of the bag, but he couldn't hold off. So he pressed the head of his cock against Spike's entrance and said, "Are you sure, baby? Don't want to hurt you."

Biting his lip, Spike nodded, and slowly, so slowly Xander started to press inside. Skin caught and pulled as he slid inside, and it was so intense... so fucking good. Spike's eyes were practically rolling back in his head and he was panting as Xander took him.

When he was finally buried deep, he paused and asked, "You okay, baby?"

"God, yes. Don't wait - just fuck me all ready!"

Taking that as the permission it was, Xander started to move. Each press in brought a hiss from Spike, every time he pulled back Spike whined and tried to buck up into him.

Taking Spike's ankles into his hands, he held Spike down, fucking him slow and steady, while whispering how Spike was so good, so pretty, so tight. Every word worked Spike up higher, till he was begging hard to be allowed to come.

"Not yet, baby... want you to hold it..."

Spike whimpered and grabbed his cock at the base tightly. "Oh, god, Xander..."

"Hold it, baby. Gonna make you scream." Xander pulled out suddenly, making Spike cry out. Smacking his thigh, Xander said, "Turn over. On your knees."

Spike obeyed, scrambling in his rush to move as he was ordered. Xander slid back in, as deep as he could, and slapped Spike's ass, leaving a handprint. "Want to hear you beg, Spike. Tell me what you want."

"Oh, god, Xander - want to come, please?"

Xander slapped him again. "No. Tell me what else you want, baby."

Spike bucked under his hand, moaning. "H - hurt me. Please, just fucking hurt me. Feels so fucking good..."

"You want me to hurt you? Make you whine and cry out and beg for more?"

"Y-yessssss..."

Xander looped his hands under Spike's arms and pulled him up so that he was practically sitting in Xander's lap. He couldn't thrust, but that was okay because he was buried even deeper in Spike's ass. Circling his chest, he found Spike's nipples.

Squeezing them hard, pinching and rolling them, Xander loved the breathy little moans he got from Spike. "You love this, baby. Love being helpless to stop me when I hurt you, don't you? Maybe when we're settled in London we'll find a sex shop and I'll get you a pair of nipple clamps to wear for hours at a time, so when I touch them, they burn."

Spike gasped and then started begging. "Oh, yes, oh, please..."

One hand dropped to Spike's balls, squeezing them as well. "Maybe I should get them pierced, or find some other way to mark you as mine. Maybe a tattoo on your ass, and a ring through your dick? Would you like that?"

Shaking so hard that Xander suspected he was crying, Spike couldn't say anything but "Please..." over and over again.

"Yeah, baby. You're mine - always going to be mine forever. Mine to fuck and suck and love and hurt. Come now, Spike. Come for me..."

With a scream, Spike came, thrusting up into the air and back onto Xander's dick. The tightening of Spike's ass milked Xander's orgasm right out of him.

Spike collapsed back against Xander, completely limp. Unresisting to Xander's manhandling, he got laid out on the bed so that Xander could wrap himself around him. Tear tracks down his face and the panting that slowed and finally stopped gave away how much what had been said affected him.

"Shh, baby, shh. I'm right here, not going anywhere."

"Did you - did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?" Xander asked, suspecting he knew but wanting to be sure.

"Did you mean it about marking me as yours?"

Xander pulled Spike tight against himself. "I meant it. If you agree, I'm going to take you out and get you marked so that you'll always know that you're mine. Do you have a preference?"

Spike started and then shook head no. "Okay, baby." Running a hand down over his stomach, Xander touched Spike's cock gently. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Curled together, they drifted off to sleep.

***

Waking up in the middle of the night, Spike and Xander showered and dressed Before they left, Xander went to the hotel's business center and did a few minutes research to figure out where to go from here.

Ultimately, it looked like their best bet was going to be going to Washington DC - there were two international airports within an hour of each other. Xander could drop off Spike at Dulles and then go up to Baltimore to catch a flight himself.

Using a mapping program, it looked like they could get there by the next afternoon, so Xander booked several flights on different airlines for them both.

Returning to the room, he got Spike and together they ran for the car. Getting on the highway, he laid out the plan for Spike, who looked like he might suggest once again that Xander leave him behind.

"Don't even say it, Spike. You're getting on the plane and flying to England, where I'll meet you. End of discussion."

It took twelve hours to get there, but Xander finally pulled up in front of the airport in Dulles, Virginia. Picking one of the e-ticket printouts, he handed it to Spike, reminded him of the vial that had come to them in Vegas, kissed him deeply and drove away, praying to every god he could remember.

***

When Spike saw a police officer just inside the airport, he jumped, earning himself a strange look. It took everything he had not to just go right back out and catch a cab somewhere, anywhere. Only the fact that Xander was counting on him to follow through kept him in the airport.

Taking several deep breaths, he draped his old persona over him like his duster. Heading up to the ticket counter, he thumped down the itinerary and said, "Here to check in, luv," to the girl behind the counter.

She didn't even look up as she checked his passport, though she obviously bit her cheek when she saw his name. Giving him his boarding pass, she pointed the way to security.

Stopping at a bar partway up the concourse, Spike ordered a shot of JD and slammed it back. Taking out the small tube from the inner pocket of his duster, he contemplated it for a long moment, then shrugged and, twisting open the top, tossed back the contents.

***

Hands clenched tight around the wheel, Xander fought the DC area traffic up the highway. Picking up the cell phone, he called Giles.

"I just dropped off Spike, Giles. He should be landing at 7:45 am at Heathrow. If I get the flight I expect I should be there shortly after - around 8:30 or so."

"Good. All of the girls have landed safely. It will be good to have you with us again, Xander. You've been sorely missed."

"I've missed all of you too."

"Be safe, Xander, and I'll see you in the morning."

***

Coughing, Spike fought down a moan as the potion burned its way to his gut. The waiter stopped at his table and asked if he was okay, and Spike managed to gasp out that he needed water.

Drinking it thirstily when the waiter brought it back, Spike rested his head on his hand, trying to stay conscious. What the hell did you send me, Giles?

***

Parking the SUV, Xander grabbed his suitcase and made his way into the airport. When he went up to the check in desk, the girl behind the counter looked at him and did a double take, then disappeared into the back.

As Xander fidgeted at the counter, another agent came to the counter. "Sir? There may be a problem with your passport - do you have any other ID?"

Trying not to panic, Xander handed over his driver's license and credit card. "Of course - here you go."

***

Spike was feeling more than a little light headed, but a glance at his watch revealed that he needed to get moving - it had been eight minutes since he took the potion and he didn't know how long it was going to work.

Dropping a twenty on the table, he made his way up to security. As he stood in line, he watched as people were motioned through the metal detectors and their pulses checked by bored looking security personnel.

Oh, fuck me - I forgot about this... Hope you know what you sent me, watcher.

***

Finally, after what seemed like an interminable wait, the first agent returned with all of Xander's documents. "I'm sorry, Mr. Paterson. Just a little confusion." Handing over her boarding pass, she gave him a plastic smile. "Have a nice flight!"

Taking the paperwork, Xander headed straight for security. There he didn't have any problem, walking through the metal detector and headed right for his gate. The pulse check made him anxious for Spike, though.

***

As Spike walked through the metal detector, he held out his wrist like he'd seen everyone else do. The guard's face showed momentary interest, but then she repositioned her fingers and her eyes cleared. "You have a very slow pulse, sir. Sorry - for a second I couldn't find one at all."

Spike smiled. "No problem, luv. Have a nice day!"

Keeping his back stiff, Spike found another bar and ordered another shot. Tossing it back, he couldn't help but check to see if he could find a pulse on himself. There wasn't one.

***

As soon as Xander found the right waiting area, he picked up his phone and called Spike. "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah. Just waiting for my flight now, love."

"Me too. See you in a few hours."

In the background, Xander could hear a boarding call, then Spike said, "That's me. See you in London."

Then he was listening to a dial tone.

Chapter Thirteen

Giles waited impatiently for Spike's flight to disembark. As people came off, he stood up and looked.

When he saw Spike he had to do a double take - Spike with black hair? It just looked... wrong.

As soon as Spike had cleared the walkway, he stopped, leaned against a window and looked outside at the rainy weather.

"Spike?"

Spike spun in place, putting his back to the glass. "Watcher?"

"Yes, Spike. How was your flight?"

"Long, and they didn't have enough JD, sir."

Giles started again. Sir? This wasn't Spike. "Since when do you call me sir, Spike?"

"Isn't... Is that not correct?"

Giles started to see what Xander's complaints had been about. "Spike, do you remember me?"

Looking frustrated, Spike shrugged. "Vaguely, sir. Do you - do you know when Xander's flight lands?"

"Shortly. Spike, you don't need to be quite so respectful. It's rather strange to hear coming from you."

"I'm sorry, si- watcher. Xander tells me the same thing, but it's... hard."

"I'm sure, Spike. Shall we go wait for Xander?" For the first time, Spike looked a bit like his old self, and Giles couldn't help the unconscious comparison between the old and the new.

While he'd often wished that Spike would grant him respect, now that he was he regretted it. There had always been something... freeing about being with Spike, something that reminded him of being Ripper. Now - that was gone.

The biggest difference he saw, was that the old Spike was never still, this Spike was almost unnaturally so. His animated face was quiet, though he could still see the anxiety over Xander's arrival.

As Xander's flight taxied up to the gate, Spike showed a single minded focus, staring at the gate as if he could bring Xander up the walkway with the power of his thoughts alone.

***

As Xander disembarked, he stared around, looking for Spike. It only took him a moment, and then he was walking so fast that he was practically running. Wrapping him in his arms, he kissed him fast but hard. "Baby! You're safe, finally."

Spike gripped Xander's arms tightly. "Thank god, Xander. But you should know - " and then Spike tipped his head towards Giles. "There's the watcher."

"Giles!"

"Xander." Giles smiled widely. "It's good to see you again. You're looking..." Then he clearly looked over Xander and the smile slipped, "Like you haven't slept in weeks. Shall we go?"

Xander nodded and took Spike by the hand. "Lead on, G-man."

***

Tucked up in the watcher guest house, Xander and Spike just had time to drop their suitcases before there was a shy tap at the door. Looking over, Spike got a huge smile on his face, causing Xander to turn to look as well.

Standing there were the four slayers, looking curiously hopeful. "Hey girls. So, are you going to get in here and get hugs or are you going to stand out there all day?

And then there was a flood of teenaged girls into the room, and hugs traded all around.

"You girls have any problems getting here?" Xander asked.

"Nope - easy. Though the food here is weird," Joann said.

"Yeah, it can be," Spike laughed. "You'll get used to it."

There was a soft noise at the door, and curious, Xander turned to look. "Buffy! Willow!"

The other two women came in as well. Spike backed away quickly, only to be pulled up short when Buffy said, "Spike?"

Xander stepped between the two of them. "Spike, you remember Buffy, don't you?"

Spike looked more than a little trapped. "Vaguely. I'm sorry, ma'am. My memories are a bit... muddled. Xander's working on it with me."

Buffy went from looking amused to mouthing the word "Ma'am" while looking horrified. Then she turned to Xander. " I don't look old enough to be ma'am, do I? Oh, god, I've turned into a hideous hag when I wasn't looking."

"No, Buffster - you're gorgeous as always. Spike has just gotten... very polite. I think he might have given Giles a heart attack this morning."

Buffy smiled a tight little smile, like she didn't believe him but didn't want to say anything in front of Spike. "Spike, there's no reason to call me ma'am. It's just Buffy, okay?"

Spike nodded and glanced at Willow and then away. Once again, Xander stepped in. "That's Willow, Spike. She's your friend too, okay?"

"Hi, Buffy. Hi, Willow." Then Spike faded to the other side of the room, eyes canted down.

"Hey guys? What say you give us some time to get settled in? It's been a pretty crazy couple of weeks and we really could use some sleep."

Buffy said, "Okay - where's your room, Xander? We can help you move your bags."

"Right here," Xander thought about how to phrase the next bit, and decided, what the hell, in for a penny, in for a pound. "And before you ask, yes, Spike's staying as well."

Eyes growing large, Buffy formed a silent "O" with her lips. "Right. Okay. We'll just - we'll get out of your way. Catch you tomorrow?"

"Will do, Buffy." Xander kissed both Buffy and Willow and then turned to the other slayers. "You too - we're not going anywhere so you'll have plenty of time to catch up with us."

Giggling, the other four slayers left, leaving Spike and Xander alone together at last.

***

By silent agreement, both Spike and Xander unpacked and put everything away. Then the two of them looked at each other and without a word were flowing together. Bodies pressed tight together as their mouths sought each other's.

Slowly, Xander backed Spike up to the bed, pushing him down on it and pinning him in place by the shoulders. "Holy hell, I was scared, Spike."

Spike nodded, straining up to reach Xander. "Me too. But we're here now and if you don't fuck me soon I think I may explode."

Xander chuckled, low and rough. "Right there with you, baby." And with that, Xander rolled off of Spike and started frantically stripping off his clothes, with Spike only a second behind him.

As soon as they were both naked, they came back together, lying on their sides, cocks pressing together rhythmically. They kissed, hard, desperately, as if trying to reassure one another that the other was truly there.

It was harsh and coarse, with no finesse or gentleness, simply a need to come fast and now now now now. Xander bit Spike hard on the neck, causing him to whimper and drag his hard cock along Xander's.

"Now, Spike, now..." Xander gasped, feeling his own orgasm coming whether or not he wanted to wait.

With a loud moan and a gasp of "Xander" Spike came, thrusting up hard into the space between the two of them. Xander followed a moment later.

There was silence filled only with their harsh panting for a minute, and then Xander kissed Spike again. This time it was soft, and gentle and was filled with love and need.

"Love you, Spike. We're safe now."

"Love you too, Xander."

When Xander rolled them so that Spike was between his legs, on top, Spike didn't fight, didn't argue. He just started kissing his way down Xander's body. Carefully, slowly, he cleaned all of the mess that had spilled between them with his tongue as Xander stayed still, practically boneless.

By the time he got back to Xander's cock, it was already hard again, and he joyfully went down on it. Slow, deep, soft and wet - Spike was doing everything he could to drive Xander out of his mind.

Xander finally grabbed Spike by the hair, holding his head still as he fucked up into Spike's mouth. Quietly, he chanted, "Yes, yes, yes, yes... so good, baby. You're so good to me."

Spike whimpered and moaned, trying to suck Xander deeper even though he couldn't with the grip Xander had. "No, baby... gentle. Wanna make it last, please." There was a whine, then the grip that Spike had on Xander's cock relaxed.

"That's it, baby. We have all afternoon. Why don't you come up here and kiss me?" Reluctantly, Spike let go and slid up Xander's body, kissing every bit of skin he touched.

When their lips met again, this was love, and comfort, and fear relieved. Then a thought crossed Xander's mind, and he broke off the kiss to ask, "How did you get through security, baby?"

Spike's face clearly said, You want to talk about this now?, but he answered. "Remember that potion? It apparently fooled them into thinking I had a heartbeat. But as long as the US keeps up those checks, I don't think I'm going back. Stuff tasted like shit."

Xander laughed until Spike kissed him to stop him. It sobered him suddenly, and he returned the kiss with interest. "What do you want, baby? Anything you want, I'll do."

"Whatever you want, Xander."

"No, baby - you tell me what you want. I'll do it."

A faint blush rose in Spike's cheeks and he ducked his head, mumbling something. "What was that?"

"I asked if maybe... could I be inside you? But only if you want to."

"Oh, fuck, yeah, baby. You want to be inside me, you can have it, any time, any place." Xander spread his legs wide and wrapped them around Spike's narrow hips.

Spike reached out and grabbed the slick from the nightstand. Opening the bottle, he cursed when his shaking hands spilled some on Xander's stomach. Wrapping one hand around Spike's, Xander stopped him for a moment. "Baby, you don't have to do this if you're not ready. If you want it, it's fine too - just calm down."

Taking a deep breath, Spike let it out shakily. "I want. God, do I want. Just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, baby. Won't let you. Now, take another deep breath and just relax."

Spike did as he was told, and then visibly relaxed. This time, he managed to get the slick on his fingers, and moved down to open Xander up.

As he was penetrated, Xander closed his eyes, luxuriating in the feeling of being opened and taken. It was slow, and gentle, and everything that Xander didn't even realize that he needed until it was happening.

Then Spike was shifting, sliding inside of him, and Xander cried out in ecstasy at the feeling. "Oh, god, Spike... yes..."

Spike was moving so slowly that Xander didn't feel anything but pleasure and need for him. He wanted to beg - wanted it so much - but he wanted to see what Spike would do without any specific directions. So, somehow, he managed to close his mouth on the words.

He couldn't hold back the sounds of pleasure he was making, though, and he moaned as Spike finally started to really move. Hands threading through Spike's hair, he pulled him down for a kiss. Tongues tangled and twisted together, mimicking the slick and slide of their bodies.

Eventually, their bodies reached a point where they could no longer be denied, demanding release. Spike started moving faster, deeper, as Xander pushed up into his lover.

"Oh, god, baby. Love you so much..." Xander cried, as he fought off his approaching orgasm, not wanting this to end, not ever.

Spike shifted so he could wrap one hand around Xander's cock, squeezing it in time to his thrusts. Xander arched up into the hand, then back into the cock in his ass.

Xander felt like he was falling. "Spike... gonna, gonna come, baby. Come with me, please... need to feel you come..."

Spike groaned and hid his face in Xander's neck. "Close, love... So close..."

With what little brain Xander had left, he managed to wrap his hands around Spike's ass, pressing the tip of his finger into Spike's ass. Spike swore, slamming into Xander. Then he cried out and froze, coming hard, Xander following right after.

As he collapsed to one side of Xander, he slid out to Xander's whimpers.

"I'm so glad that we're here, baby."

Chapter Fourteen

The next morning Xander kissed Spike and left him to go see Giles.

"Hey Giles. So, here I am, all ready to report for work - what desk do you want me behind?"

"Xander." Giles smiled, obviously relieved to see Xander looking much more rested. "I trust you're finding the guest house comfortable?"

"Very. Of course, the fact that we're not being chased anymore by a bunch of army guys who want to disappear my lover? Helps with that greatly."

"I'm sure. So, are you ready to start work, or do you need some more time to get settled?"

"I'm about as settled as I'm likely to get. What kind of make work do you have for me?" Xander was smiling, but his voice was bitter.

Giles sighed and sat down, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sit down, won't you?" Once Xander had pulled up a chair, Giles looked at him and asked seriously, "Why do you insist that the only job I can find for you is make work? I do value you highly, you must realize that."

Xander rolled his eye. "Because I'm the one eyed guy with no special abilities whatsoever."

"I wouldn't say that, Xander. Just because you're not a slayer or a witch doesn't mean that you don't have special abilities. Look at what you managed to do - you kept four slayers and Spike safe from the military and got them out of the country. I'm not sure that anyone we have could have done better."

Sighing, Xander tried to listen to what Giles was saying, but he could see all the ways that he messed up - not getting everyone out the first day, getting Tanya taken, almost getting captured multiple times - and he knew that if he said any of that he'd just end up in an argument with no winner.

"Okay, Giles. What useful, vital work do you have for me, then?"

Giles rubbed his eyes again, but clearly realized that it was futile to argue with Xander as well. "We have several houses of slayers in training. Each house has a house mother, but we'd like you to oversee them all - be kind of a house father if you like. This would include over seeing all of the maintenance of the buildings, being available for the girls to go to with problems that they aren't comfortable taking to their house mother, spot checking that the girls are being cared for properly, double checking their training, et cetera."

Xander looked fairly disgusted, but before he could say anything, Giles continued. "You are the most qualified person we have. You can build or fix almost anything, plus you are the only male that Joann has ever responded to. Did you know that?"

"What? No. What do you mean?"

"Joann was abused as a child and as a result, she reacts... badly to being alone with a man. Her watcher has to be a female for that reason."

"But you she trusted almost from the beginning, she shows no fear around you, and because of her work with you, she's begun to relax around some of the other watchers."

Thinking about it, Xander remembered Tanya mentioning something about this - about his big heart. "But it's more than that - you wanted me for this before I worked with Joann."

"I did - and the fact that I trust you is only reason I sent you Joann in the first place. If it had been any other man, they would have had to make due with three slayers."

There was something warm in Xander's chest at Giles' words. "Thanks, G- man. I guess I'll just have to see if I can live up to your expectations."

"I'm sure you will. Now, shall we go on a tour of the houses that I'll expect you to be responsible for?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The two of them stood up, and Giles paused in the doorway. "By the way, Xander? Don't call me G-man."

***

Spike puttered around their assigned room, trying to find something to do. At the sound of a light knock, he looked up, expecting to see one of the girls. And it was.

Just not one he was expecting.

"Hi, Buffy," he said, softly. "Come in?"

She crossed the threshold cautiously, like she wasn't sure of her welcome. "I'd offer you some tea, but..." Spike gestured at the lack of a kitchen.

"No, thanks. I drink enough tea these days to float a small boat. I just thought I'd come by and see how you're settling in?"

Spike looked around the room and then back at Buffy. "Um, fine, I guess. Bit of a loose end right now."

"You want to go spar? I could use the work out." Buffy looked hopeful.

"Can't. Got a blasted chip in my head that makes me about as useful as a punching bag."

"Nope - shouldn't work on me, Spike. Don't you remember? Ever since I came back, the chip doesn't work on me."

Spike squirmed uncomfortably. "Don't really remember much, Buffy. Only person I really have any memories of is Xander at this point."

Buffy looked curious. "How did they... never mind. It's none of my business."

Spike tilted his head at the sofa and waited for Buffy to sit down. "It's... not pretty. Not something I really want to think about, either. So, tell me about why the chip doesn't work on you."

Grimacing, Buffy said, "That fits the category of 'not pretty and don't want to think about it.' Just take my word for it - it doesn't work on me. Why don't we go find a free work out room and test it out?"

"Um, okay. Let me just leave a note for Xander."

Buffy cocked her head. "Now there's one I didn't expect. You and Xander? I mean, I get that he got you away from the military, but lovers?"

Spike was starting to feel defensive about his relationship - he didn't want to explain anything else, much less how much he owed Xander and how he was his. He knew that Xander only barely accepted how much he still needed to be owned, and he got the feeling that no one else would get it at all.

"Don't - Let's not talk about it, Buffy. You want to go spar or not?"

"Um, sure."

Spike found a sheet a paper and a pen and left a note for Xander that he'd gone to spar with Buffy and would be back in an hour or so.

***

Willow joined them halfway through the tour. Xander had already seen multiple repairs that needed to be done, and he was starting to realize that just on the basis of those alone, this was going to be no cakewalk.

Add to that, each house had between ten and fifteen girls at various levels of shyness, several of whom actively hid from him and Giles, and this was going to be a real job, if Giles expected him to work with them and get them to trust him.

He loved every moment of it.

By the time they returned to watcher headquarters, he was bouncing with ideas. "So, what are you looking for in terms of budget and goals?"

Giles smiled. "Your budget is pretty much at your discretion. Spend a million pounds at once and you'll need a good explanation. As far as goals go - I'll be happy if we can just get the shier girls able to train with some of the male watchers."

"I was meaning to ask about that - is it just me or do an awful lot of these girls show signs of being abused?"

Sighing, Giles took his glasses off and set them on his desk. "It's not just you. Many of the girls were victims of varying level of abuse from either family or bullying before we managed to get them. The down side to spreading the power of the slayer out, I'm afraid - they frequently started behaving in odd ways and their families didn't always understand."

"Do you have any sort of counselor for the girls?"

"Of course we do, but we can't force them to take advantage of his presence if they're older than the age of majority."

"Okay, my first suggestion is to get a female counselor in there - having a male counselor when many of them are skittish around men is probably not the smartest thing."

Giles' smile got even wider. "And see, this is why we need you, Xander. I've been arguing that for six months, but in your position, you can just do it without having to justify it to the crusty old men who remain from the old council."

Xander couldn't help laughing.

***

Xander and Willow returned to Xander's room.

"Red hair, Xander? You had to go red?" Willow asked, laughing.

"Well, it worked, didn't it? Got me here in one place. Besides now I look even more like my little sister."

"Sister? You don't have a sis -" Willow suddenly got it and punched Xander in the arm. "Aww, you!"

Xander gave her an open happy grin. "What do you expect from me - I'm always cute, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are..." Willow's voice trailed off as she realized that she no longer had Xander's attention. "Xander?"

"Spike's not here." Xander was looking around, and when he found the note, he read it. Glancing at his watch, he got very concerned. "Where are the training rooms?"

"This way. Xander, what's wrong?" Willow asked as she led him down the hall.

"Spike's note said that he'd be back in an hour but the time on it was more than three hours ago. I just... I need to make sure that he's okay." Xander didn't want to admit that he was more than a little afraid of what he might find.

The sounds of a sparring match penetrated even to the hallway. Cracking open the door, Xander stopped dead. For the first time since he had seen Spike in that mall so long ago, Spike was fighting with his old joy and flash.

He and Buffy were spinning around each other, coming together to exchange blows and then flying apart again. As they whirled around, Spike came to a sudden stop. "Xander!"

"Hey guys! Don't let me interrupt." Xander couldn't keep the smile off his face.

Buffy bent over, resting her hands on her knees. She was covered in sweat and panting for air. "No. No, I think I'm ready for a break."

Spike laughed, a completely unforced, relaxed one. "Need to work out more often, Buffy. "

She nodded. "I think I'm going to go take a shower and get a drink. I'll catch you guys later."

She picked up her towel and mopped off her face as she headed out the door, taking Willow by the hand. "We'll leave you two to do whatever it is that you need to do. Bye!" And then she went out the door, dragging Willow along with her.

"Hey baby. Have fun?"

Spike gave a truly unforced smile. "Oh, yeah. It's been so long that I almost forgot what it was like to just fight for the joy of it."

Xander kissed him. "What was that for?" Spike asked, hand on his cheek.

"I'm just happy to see you happy, baby. I was... worried that you'd not want to be here."

"You're here. Where else would I be?"

Xander took Spike by the hand and started leading him back towards their room. "So, do you... remember Buffy?" He didn't want to admit it, but there was a small, jealous part of himself that hoped the answer was no - Buffy and Spike had enough history together that he was worried what would happen.

"Kind of? I mean, I remember her as if it was a dream - remember working with her, with you, with all of you to defeat the First, but..." Spike's voice trailed off. "She told me we used to be lovers."

And there it was - the thing that could take Spike away from him. Xander's first thought was to find a reason to forbid them from being together. But if he did that he was no better than the people that deemed Spike a thing to be used.

So, swallowing down bile, he forced a smile. "You were. Against everyone else's best judgment, but what can you do?"

Spike stopped and looked at Xander. "Why? I mean, why would it be anyone's business if we were lovers?"

"Because..." Xander tried to think how to explain something that just was. "Because you didn't have a soul, and because Buffy wasn't exactly in her right mind. Some of us - including me, I have to confess - thought you were taking advantage of her confusion and depression."

"You really didn't like me, did you?"

"No, I really didn't. Most of the time I've known you, you've been evil. Even when you weren't completely evil, you were rarely good. It was only after you got a soul - and more importantly, stood by us against the First - did I understand that you really meant it."

Spike looked more than a little upset, and Xander tugged on his hand, not wanting to have the remainder of this conversation in the hallway.

Spike followed silently, and when they got in the room with the door shut, folded down to his knees. "Spike, what the hell are you doing?"

Staring at the floor, Spike was silent for a moment. Then he leaned forward and prostrated himself out. This was really wigging Xander, and he wrapped one hand around one of Spike's arms and pulled, trying to get him onto his feet.

He succeeded in getting him as far as back on his knees, and finally Spike started to speak. "I had no idea, Xander. Please forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what, Spike? You're not making any sense. You need to stop this, now."

"I had no idea that you hated me. Forgive me for not realizing - I shouldn't have pushed my way into your life as I did."

Xander fell to his own knees across from Spike, taking his arms in both hands and shaking him. "I don't hate you. I love you, you stupid ass, and you know that."

"Yes, I used to hate you. Used to think you were evil and out to get us, because, here's a shock, you were. But you aren't anymore. You went out and got a soul, and even before that you were trying to help us. How can I hate you for that?"

"And now? Now I love you, baby. Gonna spend the rest of my life with you, if that's what you want. You don't have to earn that, there's nothing to forgive. It just is."

Spike stubbornly shook his head, and Xander growled in frustration. "What do I have to do to prove it to you?" Again, that headshake, and Xander gave up using words.

Instead, he used his grip on Spike's arms to pull him in for a deep, thorough kiss. "If you won't believe what I say, maybe you'll believe what I do." Xander tried to sound confident, like he knew this would work, but his voice shook. If it didn't- would meeting Buffy undo all the work he'd done to get Spike better? Would it have been a better thing to find somewhere else to go?

Spike shrugged, still staring at the floor, and Xander snapped. If Spike was going to go back to acting like a thing to be abused, then Xander was going to show him he was wrong.

"Take off your clothes, Spike - all of them. Then go and stand next to the bed." Spike's head snapped up - Xander's voice was cold and angry. Slowly, he did as he was told.

Xander followed slowly, only unbuttoning his jeans enough to take out his cock. "Bend over, hands on the bed and ass up." When Spike had complied, Xander rubbed his cock up against his ass, not making any effort to penetrate, but rubbing the head of his cock over Spike's entrance. "If I didn't care about you, Spike, I could fuck you just like this. No need for lube or prep, just thrust into you hard and fast."

Spike whimpered, body tensing. "Maybe I should whip you at the same time, feel you getting tight around me every time I hit you? Beat you bloody - beat you senseless. Doesn't matter - you're going to heal, right?"

Pulling away just enough to get the lube out of his pocket and slick his cock, he returned and pressed inside, slowly and gently, in direct contrast to his words, which were as hateful as he could make them. "If I didn't care about you, I could call you things like my pussy, my bitch - my little come slut. They're all true, aren't they?"

When Spike didn't answer, Xander steeled himself and then landed a hard smack to his ass. "Answer me, my little bitch. It's true, isn't it?"

Spike cried out and nodded so hard that his hair flopped forward. "Yes, it's true... God... I'm your bitch. Will always be your bitch."

Adjusting the angle so that he was nailing Spike's prostate on every thrust, Xander tried to remember what he was doing. "If I didn't love you, Spike, I could be hurting you every night and you'd come crawling for it, wouldn't you? You'd beg for me to hurt you more." Silence. "Answer me, dammit."

Spike's voice was practically a whisper, "Yes, Xander."

"What was that?"

"I'd beg for you to h-hurt me more."

"And if I didn't give a damn about you, I sure as shit wouldn't do this." Xander bent forward so that he could take Spike's cock in a tight grip. "Come for me, baby. Want you to come hard for me..."

With a loud, despairing cry, Spike bucked in Xander's fist. As he came, his arms buckled, only Xander's tight grip on cock and hip keeping him upright.

His rhythm slowed, and he pulled Spike up so that he could wrap his arms around his chest, not really caring that it caused him to slip out of Spike's body. "But I love you, and so I don't do those things. I don't call you names, and I don't beat you just because I feel like it, and I don't choose to hurt you during sex just because I can and I love to see you come."

Spike nodded and whispered, "You could, Xander. I'd still love you even if you did all those things and more."

Xander kissed Spike's neck and smiled. "I know, baby. But while I don't object to the occasional game, I don't want you afraid of me, and I don't want to be afraid of myself. This is the compromise."

Shaking, Spike tried to turn in Xander's arms. When he succeeded, he leaned up and kissed Xander softly. "I'm sorry. I forgot."

His arms tightened. "It's okay, baby. I know you'll forget sometimes, and I'll remind you. That's part of loving you."

"I love you too, Xander." Spike's hand dropped to Xander's cock, which was still hard. "What can I - "

"You don't have to do anything, baby. Not coming once isn't going to kill me."

"No, I want to..." Then Spike turned again and bent back over the bed. The difference between this and a few minutes earlier was palpable - Spike's body was relaxed, welcoming, and he peeked coquettishly over his shoulder at Xander. "Please?"

"Awww, fuck, Spike," Xander groaned, unable to keep from touching. "You're going to kill me one of these days."

Spike laughed. "Nope - not going to. I am going to start begging in a second, though."

"God forbid I make you beg," Xander chuckled, sliding back inside Spike.

Spike folded even further down, resting his head on his bent arms as Xander moved inside of him. "Feels so good, Xander. Love anything you do - love everything you do to me."

It didn't take long for Xander to work himself to a fever pitch. Looking at Spike, bent over for his pleasure and just his pleasure made him groan and try to get even deeper inside of him. "Gonna mark you, Spike. Tomorrow, we're going out, and I'm going to have your cock pierced for me, so every time you touch it, you're reminded that you're mine. You want that?"

Spike shuddered around his cock, a whole body tremor. "God, yes. Love it when you leave marks on me."

"I know, baby, and this will be permanent. Won't ever be able to take it off."

Shivering, Spike tightened around him, practically milking his cock. With a cry, Xander came.

This time, it was Xander who almost collapsed, only staying on his feet because he could lean against Spike's narrow back. After a minute to catch his breath, he managed to stand up long enough to pull out and move up so he could collapse again on the bed.

"C'mere, baby," he said, holding out one arm for Spike to climb up. He did so, snuggling in warmly.

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what? That I was going to get you pierced? I definitely meant it - this time tomorrow you're going to have a ring through your dick. You're mine, Spike. I'll keep telling you that till you remember it."

Spike grinned and buried his face in Xander's neck, practically purring.

"Thank you, Xander. I love you."

"Love you, too, baby. Now let me take a nap."

The sound of Spike's laughter accompanied him down into his dreams.

***

Chapter Fifteen

When Xander woke up, it was dark and Spike was stroking his face softly. "Xander - it's time to eat. Willow just called and wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner."

Xander stretched. It had been a long time since he felt this relaxed. "Um. I don't know - do you want to go?"

Spike smiled. "I don't think I was included in the invitation, luv. Besides, shouldn't you and Willow catch up?"

Trying to pummel his sleeping brain into waking up, Xander didn't answer right away. He did want to catch up with Willow, but he didn't want Spike to be excluded, either. Spike must have seen some of it in his face, because he stroked Xander's face again and said, "It's okay, Xander. I've kind of had enough people for the day. Give her some time to adjust to the fact that I'm yours, all right?"

"Only if you're sure, Spike. If not, you come with me and she'll just have to handle it."

"I'm sure, luv. See you later, yeah?"

Xander rolled out of the bed, only to have Spike take his warm spot. Shaking his head over heat seeking vampires, he took a fast shower and changed clothes.

Not bothering to wake Spike again, he slipped out the door to go and meet Willow.

***

Hours later, the two of them stumbled back to Xander's room. "So I told him -"

Xander froze as the door swung open. The room looked as if it had been completely ransacked. Furniture had been pulled over; stuff pulled out of drawers, even the mattress had been pulled halfway off the bed. And there was no Spike.

"What the hell?"

Turning to look at Willow, she looked as confused as he was. "You don't know anything about this, do you?"

"No. But I'm going to find out."

She stalked into the middle of the room. "Give me something of Spike's, Xander."

Hands shaking, Xander sorted through the clothing on the floor till he found the t shirt that Spike had been wearing earlier. Handing it off to Willow, he was more than a little frightened when her hair and eyes started to glow with a white light.

"Manifesto!" she cried.

There was a flash, and then a small ball of light appeared. As it grew in size, Xander was horrified to see Spike being dragged by three strange men. Gradually, the picture grew larger, showing a large, plain hallway.

"Dismissio! I know where that is, Xander - that's the research area. I have no idea why they took Spike, but let's go get him back."

***

Willow and Xander pounded down one hall after another at the Watcher headquarters. As they approached a hall that started looking familiar, another unfamiliar person stepped out from behind a door. "Stop!"

Muttering something, Willow flung out a hand, and the man slammed back into the wall behind him. Xander paused long enough to say, "Holy shit, Willow!" and then they were running again.

As they moved down the hall, they started to hear muffled screams, and Xander managed to pull up even more speed. "Hold on, baby. Hold on for me..." he muttered.

Finally they came up to a closed metal door. Xander couldn't stop and ran headlong into it, bouncing off with a muffled "ooph."

Grabbing the knob, he turned it desperately, only to discover that it was locked. "Willow!"

"I know, I know..." She paused, eyes becoming unfocused and palm extended. A bright light appeared in her palm, growing larger and stronger and then suddenly zooming off and smacked into the door, which sprung open.

Inside, three men turned from where they had Spike tied to a chair. Wires protruded from his head and chest, and even for him he looked pale and barely conscious.

As Xander hurried to his side, Willow turned to confront the three men. "What in the heck do you think you're doing?"

"Following orders." One of the men stepped towards the chair where Spike was, with Xander crouched beside him whispering. Willow gestured and the man froze.

"Whose orders?"

"Higher than you, little girl. So I suggest you get out of our way." As Willow sputtered over being called little girl, Xander stood up slowly. Pulling out his cell phone, he pushed two buttons. "Hello, Giles?"

The men blanched at this evidence that they may have misjudged who was in the room with them. "Hello, Xander. Didn't expect to hear from you so soon."

"Do you know anything about orders to kidnap Spike from our room, drag him to headquarters and torture him?"

"What? I certainly did not! Is Spike all right?"

"I don't know, yet. He's not talking, and that's not a good sign."

"Do you know who did this?" Giles sounded coldly furious.

"They're standing right here - Willow has them frozen in place."

"Put one of them on."

Xander handed the phone over to the man who'd spoken before. "Giles wants to talk to you."

From there, Xander could only guess what Giles said, because he spoke too low to be heard. But as the man tried to stutter and stammer an explanation, it became clear that this was these men's interpretation of an order to "find out how the chip worked." Rather than simply ask for Spike's assistance, they'd taken it as instructions to kidnap him and test the chip over and over again.

When the man said, "But he's only a damn vampire," Xander had had enough. Taking the phone away, he said, "Get them out of here, Giles. And get me a stretcher. The chip nearly killed Spike once before and they were well on the way to doing it again. I need help to get him back to our room."

"Xander, I hope you believe me when I say this is not what I had envisioned when I instructed them to find out about the chip - I'd hoped to find a way to disable it, not to use it against Spike."

"I believe you, Giles. But right now, my concern is for Spike, so if you could please - "

"Of course. Tell them I said for them to report to my office. I'll have a first aid crew to you in a matter of minutes."

"Thanks, Giles."

Xander hung up the phone with exaggerated care and then turned to look at the three men. "Get out. Go see Giles. And if I catch you within shouting distance of Spike again, I'll kill you myself."

Willow dismissed the spell holding the men in place and they scurried out as Xander turned back to Spike, untying him and undoing all the wires that were attached. When two more men entered the room, Xander got their names and called Giles before he let them anywhere near Spike.

Upon receiving word that this was the first aid team, he allowed them to put Spike on a stretcher, but put his foot down at letting them transport him to the clinic, instead insisting that they move him back to their room.

Once there, he sent them on their way and then turned to Willow. "Thanks for your help, Will. I appreciate it."

She smiled. "You're my best friend, Xander. What else could I do? So, now what do we do?"

He kissed her on the cheek. "I wait for him to wake up. You go home to your girlfriend - I'm sure Kennedy is worried about you by now."

"Are you sure, Xander? I can stay if you want."

Xander shook his head. "There's no need, Willow. He'll be okay once he recovers from being shocked. I'll call you in the morning."

She still looked reluctant, but kissed him and then headed out the door as Xander settled himself next to Spike on the bed to wait.

***

The sun was just starting to come up as Spike began to stir. "What the hell happened? My head feels like someone used it for a game of footie."

Xander turned so he could look at Spike. "Hey baby. What do you remember?"

"Uh... I had just settled in to watch some TV when these blokes burst through the door. Tried to fight them off, but you can just imagine how well that went."

Nodding, Xander laid a gentle hand on Spike's face. "Yeah - they apparently misinterpreted one of Giles' orders - they were told to find out how the chip worked, and heard 'kidnap Spike and see how much pain it can cause.'"

"Bloody wonderful. Do I need to worry about them coming back?"

Xander shook his head. "No, baby - they've been fired. Giles does want to find out how the chip works, so that they can remove it or disable it or something, but no more midnight trips to research."

"Thank god. This is getting mighty old, and have I mentioned how much it sucks that I can't defend myself?"

"I know, baby. I think after this, though, you should be safe here. Giles is making it clear that you're not to be molested. Some of their scientists will want to talk to you once you're feeling better, though - they're trying to figure out a way to disable the chip so that you can defend yourself."

Spike curled in onto Xander's shoulder. "That would be a good thing. I love you, but I'm getting mighty tired of being rescued all the time like some bloody damsel in distress."

Xander laughed. "Trust me, I've never mistaken you for a damsel. That pretty cock of yours is a damn good reminder of just how much you aren't one."

With a low chuckle, Spike pressed up against Xander, then sighed. "The mind is willing but the flesh is weak, Xander - My head hurts too bad to contemplate doing anything."

"It's okay, baby - I certainly didn't expect to have sex this morning. Just rest and I'll reschedule our appointment for tomorrow."

"Appointment? What appointment?" Xander didn't say anything - just arched an eyebrow at Spike. "Oh, god. We were supposed to go to the piercer's today, weren't we?"

"Yep," Xander said cheerfully. "Shouldn't be a problem to move it though."

Spike shook his head. "No, I really want to go. Let me just shower and see if I can get moving."

"We've got time, baby. Why don't you sleep some more and I'll wake you up this afternoon?"

"Are you sure?" but Spike's eyes were already falling shut. Xander kissed his forehead and got up to clean the room as Spike slept.

***

Four hours later, Spike started to stir. Xander slid into the bed and kissed him softly. "Hey baby. How are you feeling?"

"Better. The headache's mostly gone, anyway. Definitely okay enough to go out, though - I'm starting to get a little claustrophobic."

"I'm not surprised. You want to just go out for a little while? We can still put off the piercer's till tomorrow."

Spike pulled him down and kissed him hard. "No. I want that mark - want it so fucking bad I can taste it."

Xander returned the kiss with interest. "If you're sure, then let's get moving."

Grumbling a little over getting out of bed, Spike slowly crawled to the edge of the mattress, only to be surprised at the swat to the ass that he got. When he turned around, looking offended, Xander gave him a half amused half innocent look.

Snorting in disbelief, Spike went to shower.

Xander tried to be good, he really did, but... Stripping out of his clothes, he went to join Spike in the bathroom. As he slid into the shower behind Spike, he wasn't really surprised when Spike didn't bother to turn to face him, just saying , "Hey, luv."

Fitting his larger body up against Spike's back, he kissed the back of his neck. "Hey, baby. Thought I'd see if you needed help washing your back."

Spike shivered, even under the hot water. "Always, luv. Always need your help..."

Taking the washcloth out of Spike's hand, Xander started to wash his back with slow, soothing strokes. Spike whimpered, folding his arms against the wall and resting his head on it. Xander's hands dropped lower, running the soft cloth up and down between his cheeks.

"Oh, f- making me bloody insane, Xander..."

Xander smiled and pressed against Spike's entrance lightly with his thumb. "Problem, baby?"

"Other than you're driving me mad? Not a bloody thing," Spike gasped out.

Pressing his thumb in deeper, Xander reached around with his other hand and started to fondle Spike's balls. Hooking his chin over his shoulder, he whispered, "Don't come, baby. Don't want you to come till after you get pierced. Think of it - you'll heal fast enough that we can come home and I can suck on your pretty cock with its ring till you explode. Doesn't that sound good?"

Spike panted hard, pressing back into Xander's hand. "You're a bastard, Xander. You know I want that."

"I am a bastard, aren't I? You know, I've been meaning to take you shopping for toys - maybe we should do that after we visit the piercer. Give you time to heal and all."

A groan came up from deep in Spike. "Oh, bloody hell. If you don't want me to come, you need to stop."

Xander laughed softly and pulled back. "Your wish is my command, baby. You just remember that tonight we're going to play for a nice long time, every time you're tempted to swear at me."

Spike turned as fast as he could, capturing Xander and pulling him in for a kiss. "That's a plan."

***

Somehow, they managed to dress and get out of the room without any more delays. Catching the cab in front, they took it over to the London Piercing Clinic, where Xander had made an appointment with Patrick, the owner.

Checking in at the desk, Xander happily paid for the piercing. At first, Patrick told them that no one could go back except for Spike, but when Spike took Xander's hand and shook his head, he sighed and said, "If you need him there that badly, we can work something out. Now I need you to pick out your jewelry."

Again, Spike simply held Xander's hand and shook his head. "Patrick? Could you excuse us for a moment?" Xander asked.

"Of course." Patrick went to the other side of the shop and started cleaning out a cabinet.

"What is it, baby? You change your mind?"

"No, it's just... it's your mark, you should pick it out. Not me."

Xander smiled and pulled Spike in close so he could kiss him. When he finally let go, he smiled. "You're absolutely right, baby."

Going over to the case, he pointed at a simple silver ring. "I like that one, baby. Would you be happy with it?"

Spike looked at it and then arched a brow at him. "Well, we could go fancier if you prefer, but I like that one because it looks... solid. Like us."

Flush rising in his cheeks, Spike nodded and then ducked his head. "Patrick? I think we're good to go here."

The piercer came back over and looked at the ring that Xander was pointing at. "That's a good one. Okay - let's go back." He led the way to a small cubicle in the back, and patted the table. "Pants off and up you go."

Spike unzipped his jeans and slid them off. One look was enough to make Xander get dry mouth as always, and as Patrick laid out his equipment, he moved up so that he could hold Spike's hand and look at his face.

Even though this was Xander's idea, he didn't particularly want to watch the actual procedure, so instead he watched Spike's reactions to judge what was happening.

There was a little discomfort there, and then Patrick said, "Take a deep breath... Hold it... Now let it out..." and Spike jumped and made a very undignified sound - almost a meep. "Just a minute more.... And done!"

Xander glanced down to see a small amount of blood and a silver ring looped through the head of Spike's cock. He couldn't help his reaction - he leaned over and kissed Spike deeply. "Good boy, baby. You did real good."

After a minute to let him recover, Xander helped Spike get dressed again, then walked out to the waiting area. Patrick handed him a list of aftercare instructions, and then said, "Do me a favor? At least pretend that you're going to follow them. That way I can keep pretending to myself that I didn't just pierce a vampire, okay?"

Swallowing hard so that he wouldn't give away how much the fact that he'd figured it out wigged Xander, he nodded and folded up the sheet of paper and tucked it in a pocket.

"Uh, thanks, again."

"No problem, mate. When it's your turn, feel free to come in yourself."

Xander laughed. "Don't know if that's going to happen, but thanks."

Spike was walking a bit gingerly, and Xander whispered in his ear, "Can you take it, baby? Or do we need to go home?"

"I can do it. Just... itches more than anything else."

"Okay, but if it's too much, you tell me, okay?"

Spike agreed and they called another cab. This one they had take them to Clone Zone in the Soho district.

When they walked in, Xander had immediate second thoughts. Why hadn't he just ordered the stuff he wanted on line?

Then Spike's attention was caught, and Xander had the answer - because on line he couldn't easily see what caught his lover's fancy.

Right now, that fancy was caught by a small display of vibrators, several of which were encased in large, realistic looking toys, "You want one of those, baby? One I can slide inside you and trigger while I blow you?"

Spike bit his lip, and his hips twitched as he squirmed. "You like that idea? Which one do you want?"

He blushed and stammered, but ultimately, Spike pointed at a traditional plug, not much thicker than Xander's thumb. Putting it in the basket, he led Spike deeper into the store.

Both of them giggled over some of the novelties. Occasionally, Xander would point out something he'd never seen before, but mostly he just watched Spike.

Spike seemed... well, he actually seemed a little out of his depth. Finally, Xander started suggested things to him. Things that he thought Spike would like, or things that he'd like to try.

Some... interesting patterns emerged after a little while. Anything that caused pain, Spike was into. But if it took away his ability to move, he was reluctant at best, and if it took away his sight then he was dead set against it.

Ultimately, they had a nice little collection of toys to purchase - ranging from that first vibrator, to larger plugs, to a riding crop that had Spike panting just looking at it. Xander also threw in a few pairs of cuffs and some nipple clamps just to round things out.

Making their purchase, Xander handed the bag of toys to Spike and asked, "How are you doing, baby? About healed?'

Spike nodded.

"Good." Xander's voice dropped. "I want you to take this bag and go into the bathroom. Put in the smaller plug and then come right back out."

For a split second, Spike looked as if he might object, but then he hurried off. When he came back this time, he was back to walking funny. Xander's mouth went dry at the implications of Spike's obedience.

As badly as he wanted nothing more than to take him home and fuck him into next week, that wasn't the plan. So instead, he simply told Spike to follow him and headed out.

A few minutes' walk and they were at a pub. Spike looked at him as if he'd lost his mind when he pointed and said. "Let's go in. I'm hungry and you need to sit, baby."

"But Xander -"

"I know, baby. I want you to show me just how obedient you can be. You do as you're told and I promise you'll get a nice reward."

Whimpering softly, Spike obeyed, finding a seat at the bar and sitting gingerly. Xander ordered beers for both of them and fish and chips for himself. Under the cover of the bar, he drew patterns of Spike's leg with his hand, occasionally passing a glancing touch over his cock.

He wasn't particularly hungry, no matter what he'd told Spike, but he forced himself to finish about half his dinner before he got up and led their way back out.

Going out on the street, he was amused at how fast Spike followed, and when he hailed a cab and gave the address of the guesthouse, Spike gave a whimper.

***

As soon as they walked in the room, Xander grabbed Spike by the shoulder and pushed him up against the door. "Such a good, obedient boy. Gonna make you come now - you want that?"

Spike didn't even try to speak, simply whining his agreement as Xander dropped to his knees and ripped open Spike's jeans. Pulling them down around his thighs, he licked a soft path up Spike's cock, ending at the new ring. Threading his tongue through it, he tugged gently, loving the gasps that got for him.

"You're mine, Spike. No matter what, no matter who you're still mine. I want you to come, Spike, take the edge off - because we're not done playing by a long shot."

Then Xander took Spike's cock into his mouth and sucked softly. It was literally seconds, and then Spike was pulsing in his mouth, crying out above him. Xander swallowed everything he had to offer, and continued to suck Spike through his aftershocks.

When he finally stopped and stood up, Spike swayed in place for a moment. So, Xander pushed him up against the door and kissed him hungrily until he was more aware. "Take off your clothes, baby. Got lots of plans for you..." he whispered.

Shakily, Spike stripped his clothes off and stood next to the bed. Gently, Xander guided him down and laid him down on his stomach. Opening the bag, he pulled out the cuffs that he'd bought.

As he took Spike's wrist in his hand, he caught the look of fear on his face. "Shh, baby. Not going to do anything you won't like, I promise." Spike nodded shakily and let him fasten them.

It was a matter of moments to slide a pillow under Spike's hips, and then Xander spent long minutes just touching him lightly, massaging his shoulders and back until some of the tension started to drain away from muscles held tight with fear.

Standing back up, he pulled out a soft flogger. Spike's eyes grew big and then shut as he sighed and shivered. Dragging the tips down over his back and ass, Xander said, "Do you want this, Spike? Want me to whip you and cane you and then fuck you?" Eyes still shut, Spike nodded. "That's not an answer, baby. Is it something you want?"

"Y-yes, Xander."

Xander smiled softly and continued to drag the whip over Spike's skin. He wasn't completely certain what he was doing, but late night research paid off - he knew to start soft and build up force gradually.

The first time the whip fell across Spike's shoulders, he whimpered and arched up into it as best as he could. As Xander laid more and more strikes down, the skin grew pink and then red, and Spike started to steadily moan.

The first strike to Spike's inner thigh made him cry out as he spread his legs even wider. "Yes, yes, yes..." he chanted as Xander carefully swung again and again.

When there wasn't an inch of skin that wasn't reddish from the flogger, Xander laid it down on the bed and then started to run soft hands over the sensitive skin. When he reached Spike's hot ass, he paused, grinning evilly to himself. Spike was still wearing the plug that he'd made him put in earlier that afternoon, and Xander got a hold of it and started to slide it in and out.

A flick of a switch, and it started to vibrate softly, making Spike moan. "Do you like this, Spike? Did you like wearing it out, where no one could see it, but you couldn't move without feeling it?"

Spike nodded, and Xander turned the vibrator up a little higher, leaving it running as he turned to pick up the cane.

The first blow to Spike's ass made him cry out loudly, and Xander almost stopped when he saw the immediate welt that formed. But Spike immediately started begging for more, for harder, and Xander didn't have the heart to stop.

So instead, he tried to be slow and steady, gradually increasing the force as he worked his way down Spike's ass.

The hardest strike yet landed right over the vibrator, and Spike screamed. "Fuck! Oh, god, Xander, fuck me, please!"

Xander couldn't say no, he just couldn't. So he climbed up on the bed and slowly slid the vibrator out of Spike's ass, immediately replacing it with his own hard cock.

Each slip and slide of his cock inside Spike's body seemed to push him higher, taking Xander along with him. He rested his weight on his hands on either side of Spike's shoulders, feeling the heat from his ass against his hips and thighs. "God, baby, you feel so good. Could just stay right here forever."

Spike moaned and pushed back as well as he could. "God, love you. Love you so much... so fucking close, Xander..."

Sliding one hand underneath Spike's body, Xander pinched and twisted his nipple viciously. "Come for me, baby. Want you to come..."

His body twisting as if he was simultaneously trying to get closer to the punishing hand and further away, Spike gasped, "Yes, yes, yes,yesyesyesyesyes..." and then his body clenched down around Xander's cock, as he came with a scream.

Xander didn't want to come, wanted to fuck Spike through his orgasm and keep going, but his body had other ideas. Suddenly his orgasm was there and as unstoppable as an earthquake. Roaring, he pounded into Spike, coming like he hadn't come in days.

It took the last of Xander's brainpower to remember to uncuff Spike, but as soon as he had, Spike rolled into his arms and just shook for a long time.

When Xander started to get scared, he asked, "Spike, baby, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. Just a reaction I think. Adrenaline, you know?"

Xander nodded and just held him tight.

Chapter Sixteen

The next morning, Spike was moving slowly, but the smile on his face made it worth it to Xander. They spent hours just snuggling quietly in the bed when Spike finally asked about his meeting with Giles two days earlier.

"Oh, man - it's just... it's the perfect job for me, Spike. Lets me use my skills in new ways, as well as help the baby slayers. My only real concern is that there seems to be a real high proportion of them that seem to have been abused, and I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to help them. It's not like I have any training in working with abused kids."

Spike said absently, "No, just in being one."

"What did you say?"

Awareness returned to Spike's eyes, as if he just realized what he'd said and he moved away, out of Xander's arms. "I said that you were an abused child, but I'm not sure why. It's like I have a memory of a memory? I lived in your basement for a while, right?"

Xander nodded cautiously, not liking where this was going.

"I remember smelling blood, and tears, and shadows in the walls of things that shouldn't have happened."

Burying his face in his hands, Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I - I didn't know that you knew about that. I thought I'd manage to hide it."

"You did, from everyone else. But, vampire here, luv. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't not know something like that."

Xander sighed. "Well, that's true, and at least you never said anything about it. 'Cause to be honest, if you had, I would probably have staked you."

"I wouldn't have blamed you. You know what I was like as a human, right? It meant that while I was perfectly willing to jump on anything I could to annoy, there were still some things off limits as far as I was concerned."

"I have to say that I'd never have thought that of the old you, Spike. And... I'm grateful. When I was a kid I wouldn't have been able to take being teased about it. Mostly managed to repress it these days anyway."

Moving slowly, Spike rolled so he was back within Xander's arms. "I was always a little surprised that Giles didn't catch on, what with the way you took all the crap that the Slayer handed you - and a demon girl? Am I remembering that right?"

Xander sat up and looked Spike in the face. "Are you getting back your memories, baby? From before?"

Spike pressed his hand to his eyes and thought. "Some. Bits and pieces, mostly. A lot of what of I'm remembering is making no sense, but I'm getting flashes of stuff that's either memories or I'm getting awfully creative in my old age."

Laughing, Xander pulled Spike in tight for a hug, but his stomach sunk a little. What if the memories that Spike was getting back made him want to leave Xander? What if he hated Xander for taking advantage of him?

Shaking that off, Xander decided that if it happened he'd deal with it. "I'm still not sure I'd describe myself as an abused child."

"Luv? If one of your girls told you about bruises and blood inflicted by her father, what would you say?"

"That she was abused and didn't deserve it, but -"

"Why would she get a pass and you don't? Why would her father be in the wrong but not yours?"

"Ah, that's easy. Because I was an annoying son of a bitch who was a complete and utter fuck up when I lived at home."

"You were a teenager, Xander. You're supposed to be annoying and fuck up. That's your job as a teenager. Anyway, whether you want to see what your father did to you as abuse, that's why you'd make a good person to work with these girls. You know what it's like to be in their shoes, you know how not to scare them, you just are"

Xander could feel the blush rising in his cheeks, but it was very hard to argue with Spike. He sounded like he knew what he was saying, and wouldn't be argued with. Besides, Xander had long since decided that he wouldn't argue with Spike if it could be avoided. This? Could be avoided. So he didn't.

"So, I may be good with these kids because I was abused, but I still don't have any idea of where to start. Do you?"

Spike nodded, surprising the hell out of Xander. "Make a list of the jobs that need to be done in each house. Spend a day each week at a different house and just... be you. Word will get around and pretty soon those shy little ones will be eating out of your hand."

Nodding, Xander said, "Sounds like a plan."

***

After spending a few hours more talking about plans for various houses, both of them were surprised by the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?"

"Hello, Xander. I was wondering if you and Spike would have time to come meet with me? I would like to talk to him about the chip, and what plans we might be able to try to get rid of it."

Xander hated the immediate suspicion that leapt in his gut. "Just the three of of us, Giles?"

"No, two of our students will be there - they're majoring in electrical engineering and should be able to help us come up with some ideas as well."

"I don't - let me talk to Spike, Giles. I won't make this decision for him."

"Understandable. Ring me right back?"

"Will do."

Disconnecting the call, he turned to face Spike. "Giles wants us to come over and talk about the chip, but he's going to have two engineering students there to help."

Spike immediately looked frightened, not that Xander could blame him. "If you don't want to, we'll figure something else out."

"No, I owe it to Giles to trust him. And you'll be there, so I should be fine. Just... the last time anyone tried anything with my chip it was to see how many times in a row they could trigger it while leaving me a brain. I really don't want a repeat of that."

"Neither do I, baby, and if something like that starts, I'll kill the person responsible - well, unless it's Giles, in which case I don't know what I'll do, but since he won't do such a cruel thing, I doubt that it'll happen."

Nodding, Spike said, "Call Giles. Set it up."

***

The next morning, the five of them sat in Giles' office, as Spike was asked hopelessly earnest questions by two very young men named Henry and William.

The questions ranged from the rather silly, "So you can feel pain?" to the ridiculous, "Did you fight having the chip being re- implanted?" But for the most part, they were mostly nice, not commenting on the fact that Spike was a vampire, much less questioning that this was something that the watcher's council should be spending resources on.

Finally, William looked up from his notes and said. "All right, Spike, I need you hit me, please."

"What? No!" Spike looked faintly horrified and pulled back in his chair.

"Oh, not right this second. We need to hook you up to voltage monitor and a few other things, first, but then we're going to need the chip to be triggered at least once so that we can test some hypothesis. I understand it's painful - "

Xander cut in. "Absolutely not."

"But sir, it's the only way to see if we can disable the chip. The only other option is to attempt to remove it, and we don't have anyone that feels capable of performing that sort of delicate surgery."

"It's not the pain, mate. It's... you've done nothing that deserves me hitting you. I can't just hit you because you tell me to."

Looking sympathetic, Henry spoke up. "So it's the soul that's the issue then? Not the chip or the pain?"

"Pain's no picnic, mate. But yeah - I have enough to feel guilty for already. Don't need slugging an innocent on my conscious as well."

William and Henry exchanged a glance with each other and then one with Giles. "I think we have everything we need then."

Xander got a very uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Giles?"

"I'm sorry, Xander, but I couldn't force them to act without some sort of confidence that Spike wouldn't start hurting people again." Giles really did look unhappy, but that didn't do anything for that twisting feeling, that was getting worse.

Spike looked like he didn't much care, and that was the only reason that Xander didn't tell Giles where to shove it. Instead, he pocketed his frustration for a confrontation when Spike wasn't there, and sat back as William and Henry explained what they wanted to try.

"Computer chips of all sorts are extremely vulnerable to magnets. What we'd like to do is put you in an MRI - magnetic resonance imaging - and do a really fast pulse to try and disable the chip.

"You should know that this is very, very risky. The magnets used in MRIs are very powerful, and there's a good possibility that the chip itself may shift position in your brain, causing pain or damage."

Xander's first instinct was to tell them all no and then take Spike away somewhere where people would just stop hurting him.

The problem is that there was no such place.

So Xander clamped his mouth shut and said nothing, not even when Spike looked at him, clearly wanting his opinion. It took everything he had, but he was not going to interfere.

Spike stared at him for a long time, then finally nodded and turned back to William and Henry. "Let's do this thing. Right now."

"It'll take us a day or two to set up the equipment, actually. We want to make sure we do as little damage as possible, so you might want to go... um, spend some time with whoever before we try it."

No matter how hard he tried, Xander couldn't keep from feeling sick at that, but he simply nodded and waited for Spike's reaction.

"All right. So - do you think we can do this in twenty four hours?"

"That should give us enough time to make the appropriate modifications. Meet us here -" and William wrote down a room number on the pad on Giles' desk and handed it to Spike, "This time tomorrow."

Spike didn't say anything further, just tucking the small slip of paper in a pocket and taking Xander's hand to lead him out of the room.

***

They didn't speak all the way back to their room, but as soon as they walked in, Spike dropped to his knees, pressing his forehead to Xander's thigh. The words of argument that had been forming in Xander's head since they'd left Giles' office immediately dissipated, leaving only a bone deep fear.

He slid his hand under Spike's chin, lifting his face. "I love you. I won't stop you."

Spike turned his face into Xander's palm like a cat. "I love you too. Thank you for understanding."
Xander slid to his own knees, keeping his hand in place. "It's not that I understand. It's that I can't understand, and have no right to stand in your way if you want this."

Silently, Spike leaned into Xander, mutely begging for a kiss, a kiss that Xander was more than happy to provide.

Lips and tongue tangled softly, with just a hint of teeth. Gentle and thorough, it was both claiming and reassuring. It said that it didn't matter what happened, there would still be love. For all of that, it was remarkable asexual.

When they finally came apart, it was to simply to hold each other. Eventually, Xander's knees started to complain and he shifted with a groan.

Spike chuckled, a warm, soft sound. "We should move this to the bed, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah."

But once they were there, Xander made no move to touch Spike, instead sitting on the edge and studying him with hungry, hungry eyes.

Spike, for his part, seemed to understand what Xander needed, and simply laid back, spread open and naked, waiting for Xander to decide to move.

When he did, it was all at once, blanketing Spike with his own body, pressing as close as it was humanly possible to get. From forehead to feet, Xander pressed close, as if he was trying to touch Spike with every inch of skin at once.

Spike, for his part, just wrapped his arms around Xander's shoulders and clung tightly. Words were whispered back and forth, of love and need and want.

When Xander bent his head and bit the sensitive junction of neck and shoulder, Spike arched his back with a cry and started to beg. "Please, please, Xander. Need you, need you so fucking much..."

Xander pulled away as little as possible, only enough to reach the slick on the nightstand. Popping it open one handed, he coated his cock as quickly as he could, then shifted so he was between Spike's knees. His legs were spread and eased back, and then Xander was pressing in slow and deep.

Spike cried out, back bending even farther. "Yes, oh, god yes... Feels so good, Xander, luv, oh, please!"

Pinning his shoulders beneath his hands, Xander started to move as slowly as he could, loving every sound that he pulled from Spike. "You're mine, baby. No matter what happens, you're mine, and you'll stay mine."

"Yes - oh, god, yes..."

"Don't come, baby. Just lie here and take it - feel me moving inside of you. Feels good - you're so tight, and slick, holding me so good..."

Spike started whimpering, moving as best he could given that Xander had him tightly pinned. There were no words anymore, just sounds, and Xander finally had to start moving faster, harder.

Each move in was met with an arch, each long, agonizing pull out seemed to be an eternity before Xander could finally plunge back into the wet welcome of Spike.

Time slowed and the room kaleidoscoped until it seemed like they were all that existed in the universe. But that state couldn't maintain for long, and Xander started to move with purpose. "Oh, god... oh, god. Gonna come, baby... Don't come, oh, please hold it..."

Spike clutched at his own cock, whimpering, but somehow finding the strength to wrap his hand around the base and stop his own orgasm as Xander pounded into him, all rhythm or rhyme lost.

His orgasm slammed into him, and Xander froze, lost in the moment. As soon as he came back to himself, though, he looked down at Spike who was still frantically trying to hold back his own orgasm.

"God, baby, you're so good... Wanna reward you..." And Xander slid out of Spike and shifted down so he could take him in his mouth, as deep as he could without choking. At the same time, he slid two fingers deep inside him, pressing hard on his prostate.

With a deep cry, Spike came hard, flooding Xander's mouth. He swallowed as fast as he could, nursing Spike through his orgasm, and then slowly released him, sliding back up his body to kiss him deeply. "Love you, baby."

"Love you too, Xander."

***

The next afternoon, they met Henry and William at the room number they'd been given. The room inside was much larger than it looked from the outside, and Xander had a difficult time keeping his thoughts of Tardises or space bending from intruding into what was properly a very scary thing.

Divided in half, the front part of the room contained a machine with a large tunnel that Xander recognized from various medical TV shows over the years. The back half was separated by a glass window, with a row of computer banks and William, Giles, and Henry.

William came out and said, "Right on time. Good. Spike, I'm going to need you to lie down here," indicating a stretcher in front of the MRI machine. Spike gave one glance to Xander, paused, and then complied.

Almost to practically levitate right back off as William started to strap him down. "What in the hell are you playing at, mate? I'm here of my own will - you don't need to tie me!"

William looked apologetic, but firm. "We need to make sure that you won't move, Spike. That means restraining you. If you'll cooperate, it'll be over that much faster."

For the first time, Xander spoke up. "If you want this, Spike, you need to cooperate. Would it be better for me to do it?"

Looking almost pathetically grateful, Spike nodded, and Xander moved forward, helping Spike lie back down.

There were four point restraints already attached to the stretcher, and Xander gently fastened them around Spike's wrists and ankles, whispering reassurances and comfort.

Once they were all attached, William stepped forward again, holding a frame. "This fits around your head, so you can't turn it. It will be very uncomfortable, and I'm sorry about that, but it's the only way to be sure that this has the best chance of success."

Spike nodded, and William fit the frame into holes obviously set into the stretcher just for this, fitting it carefully over Spike's features and tightening it down.

"Okay, Spike, we're going to move you into the tunnel. Like we explained yesterday, this is likely to hurt a great deal, but it will be over quickly. And if it works properly, your chip will be completely disabled."

Xander started to feel panicky. "What do you mean, 'if?'"

"We explained this yesterday. This is based on our best hypothesis, but never having had access to a chip to test it, there's no guarantees." William's face looked serious.

"Spike?"

With obvious difficulty, Spike said, "Do it."

William finished pushing in the stretcher, then herded Xander into the control room. Waiting until he'd taken a seat in the chair set aside for him, William then nodded at Henry, who flipped a switch.

There was a pause, then a loud hum filled the air. A split second after it started, Spike started to scream. Loud and inhuman, it froze Xander for a split second, and then he was trying to get out there. "Stop it! Stop! For god's sake -" The hum cut out - "Stop!"

The screaming continued for a moment, and then cut off as suddenly as it had started. Panicked, Xander pushed Giles out of the way, finally, and then went straight to the machine, pulling the stretcher out.

Spike was silent, eyes closed. "Spike? Spike, baby? Talk to me!"

Silence.

Frantic, Xander slapped Spike's face lightly. "Baby? You're scaring me here. Wake up for me, please?" When that didn't work, he turned to look at the other three men. "Why won't he wake up?"

Henry winced. "We told you that this might..."

Xander took a deep breath. Spike hadn't turned to dust. Anything else he could recover from, right? "Right. Brain damage. So - what do we do now?"

Giles spoke up. "Well, there's no reason to keep him in here. Why don't we move him back to your room, and maybe by then we'll have a better idea of what to do."

Together, they rolled Spike back to their room and transferred him from the stretcher to the bed. Xander tucked him in and then stood back, just looking. Giles clapped a hand on his shoulder. "It will be all right, Xander. You just need to have patience."

"He looks so small, Giles. Why in the hell is this all happening to him? Captured, chipped, tortured. Forced to flee the states, and now this. It's not fair!"

Giles cleared his throat. "You know that fair doesn't apply, Xander. You've known this for a long time."

Xander sighed. "I know, Giles. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with."

Giles squeezed his shoulder again and then gathered William and Henry with his eyes and jerked his head towards the door. "Will you be all right, Xander?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go on, I'm sure you have work to do. Thanks for being there for me today."

Giles smiled. "I'm always there for you, Xander." Quietly, he slipped out the door after the other two.

Xander sat down at the edge of the bed and ran his hand through Spike's hair. "You need to wake up, baby. I need you with me."

***

For a week, Xander kept a vigil next to Spike's bed. Willow, Buffy and Giles all took turns stopping by, keeping him company. Willow babbled, talking about what she'd learned magically since the last time they'd been together. Buffy talked about sparring with the new slayers and how frustrating it could be, since even with them she sometimes found herself holding back.

Giles just sat with him quietly, not saying anything at all.

As the first week died and the second started without any improvement at all, Giles suggested that they might want to consider using a feeding tube, so that Spike wouldn't lose any more weight that he could ill afford.

Xander wanted to deny the need, wanting to believe that Spike was going to wake any second, but the increasing sharpness of his cheeks and the ribs that were showing more every day gave the lie to that.

The first medic who arrived to insert the tube handled Spike far too casually for Xander's comfort, so he threw the son of a bitch out and refused to let anyone near him until they promised to be as careful as they could be.

The sight of Spike, lying like a child's disregarded toy with the small tube running into his nose was too much for Xander, who for the first time in a week actually left the room. Willow found him outside, sitting on a bench, crying.

"He'll get better, Xander. He has to."

Embarrassed, Xander brushed away the tears with the back of his hand. "I know. He will. It's just... it's taking so long, and I don't know what else to do. I just want him to sit up and call me luv."

Willow didn't say anything, just placing a hand on his back, and when Xander started crying again, pulled him in so that he could cry on her shoulder.

Finally, the tears were gone, and Xander smiled, a bit tremulously. "Thanks, Wills. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Xander. What else are sisters good for if you can't cry on them occasionally?"

He nodded and stood. "I need to get back in there."

"Why don't you take a break for a while? Take a walk, get some time away from that room. Giles and I will stay with Spike till you get back."

Xander sighed. He really didn't want to go back to the room. "I think - I think maybe you're right." Giving her a kiss on the cheek, he said. "Thank again, Willow. I owe you."

"And you better believe that eventually I'll collect, mister. But in the meantime, go take a walk."

***

"Giles, he's not getting better."

"I know, Willow. But I don't think that Xander's willing to hear it."

"What do we do?"

"There's not much we can do. It's not like we can suggest that he be taken off life support, since even without feeding him, Spike won't die. And Xander wouldn't hear of us dusting him." At Willow's look of horror, Giles sighed. "And in good conscious, I couldn't seriously suggest it anyway. Xander is far too attached to Spike for him to do anything but hate the person who made the suggestion."

Willow nodded, a look of concentration on her face. "Maybe we should look into some magic to see if there's anything we can do? I wouldn't do it myself, but we could check with Alysa to see if she's willing to try?"

"I don't know, Willow. Asking a healer to work on a vampire? The whole situation with what we've done for Spike is irregular in the extreme all ready. That may just be the step too far."

"You're right. It was just a thought, anyway."

***

Xander really did feel better after his walk, and by the time he returned to the room, he felt ready to face whatever might happen. Giles and Willow were deep in conversation when he entered, and while he wouldn't have normally thought anything of it, the instant quiet and the blush on Willow's face when she looked at him told him right away that there were talking about him and Spike.

"So, what did you decide while I was gone?" He tried to force the joking sound, but it fell flat as he wished that he could just send them out and lie down on the bed next to his lover.

"N-nothing, Xander. Just ideas that won't work, that's all." Willow stammered.

He nodded and sat down in his chair. After some desultory conversation, Giles and Willow excused themselves. Xander stared at his lover and wished.

***

"Alysa, what would you use for someone who's in a coma?"

Alysa looked up from the herbs she was combining for the coven leader's arthritis. "I'm not sure. It would depend on why they're in a coma. Was someone in an accident? Do you need me to come?"

"No, no. I just... I have a friend in a coma, and I thought that maybe a little magic... wouldn't hurt, anyway. But it's probably a silly idea."

"Oh, are you talking about the vampire?"

"How did you - never mind. Good lord, the rumors around this place are terrible."

Alysa laughed, a sound like bells. "I can't help you with him. But I can tell you that there is a spell that might help. You're strong enough to do it without me, anyway."

"But - but, I'm not a healer, Alysa!"

"For this spell, you don't have to be. You just need to have strong will, and that you have."

Willow blushed to the roots of her hair. But, after excusing herself, she went to the library and started doing research.

***

"Xander? Xander?" He blinked his eyes sleepily. Where was he?

As he sat up and stretched the kinks out of his neck and back, he realized that he had fallen asleep next to the bed again. A quick glance at Spike confirmed that he was still unconscious, and then he looked at Willow. "Sorry, Wills. Tired."

"I know, Xander. Why don't you climb in and go to sleep with him? I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Xander shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine." Standing, he walked around the room, trying to get his bearings.

Willow waited patiently, taking his seat and running a soft hand over Spike's hair, which was growing out.

When he finally felt like he could put words together, he looked over at her. "So, what's up?"

"I have an idea I'd like to try, but I have no idea if it'll work."

Xander ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "It won't hurt him, will it?"

She shook her head. "No. I can guarantee that he won't be hurt, but, like I said, it may do no good at all."

Shrugging, he said, "Go ahead and try it. If it won't hurt him, then it can't make it any worse."

She visibly gathered herself, eyes closing and forehead wrinkling as she focused. Holding her hands out, one over Spike's head and the other over his heart, she softly said, "Vigoratus is vir!"

Light crackled from her hands to Spike's body and back, and Xander couldn't help but hold his breath. But as she sagged back in the chair, Spike's eyes didn't open and his body didn't move.

Xander finally let the air out of his lungs, trying to school his features so that his disappointment didn't show. Willow muttered to herself, but as she positioned her hands again, Xander stopped her by placing his hand over hers. "Don't, Wills. He'll wake up when he's ready."

She looked grave and nodded. "I'm sorry, Xander. I thought it was worth a try."

"It was, Willow." As she wavered in place, Xander realized how much power the spell had taken out of her. "Why don't you go lie down in the other room? You look about done in."

She nodded and stood. "Only if you lie down as well, Xander. I know that you haven't been sleeping well since this started."

Shaking his head at her mothering tendencies, he climbed into the bed with Spike anyway. "See? Taking a nap. Now you go do the same."

With a smile, she left the room as Xander's eyes closed.

***

This time when Xander woke, he knew where he was, but he was still confused. The bed was warm - far warmer than it should be with one man and one vampire.

When he turned over, wrapping his arm around Spike's chest, it took him a second to realize that it was moving.

Then he felt the heartbeat.

Chapter Seventeen

Xander's eye shot open and he jerked back from Spike like he was on fire. Spike's eyes were still shut, but his chest was definitely moving, and when Xander hesitantly placed his hand over it, he could still feel the heartbeat.

"Spike?"

His eyes opened slowly, and Xander could see the confusion there before Spike started to choke and cough.

Instantly, he forgot his fear and confusion to wrap an arm around him and help him sit. "Shh, baby. Just breathe."

As the coughing settled, Spike turned to look at him. "Xan - Xander?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm here."

"What the hell happened, Xander? I feel really weird."

"I'm not sure, but first of all, what do you remember?"

"We were going to try something to disable the chip, and I remember being slid into an MRI, and then waking up just now."

Silently thanking god that Spike didn't remember the pain from the MRI, Xander kissed his forehead. "Right. You've been unconscious ever since."

"I have?" At Xander's emphatic nod, he looked concerned and asked, "How long?"

"It doesn't matter - it matters that you're awake now."

"No, really. I want to know - how long was I unconscious?"

Sighing, holding him tightly, he grimaced and said, "Almost two weeks, baby."

"Two - two weeks? I was unconscious for two weeks? Christ! You must have been frantic, Xander!"

"Yeah, frantic is a good word for it. But you're awake now and that's all that matters."

Spike took a deep breath and then stopped breathing - for about three seconds. Coughing, he started again. "Fuck. This is weird."

"What is, baby?" Xander asked, still holding Spike's (too warm) body close.

"I can't stop breathing. It's like... my body won't let me."

As much as he just wanted to luxiurate in having Spike awake, Xander's brain started working. "You know, you're awful warm, too... And," Xander rested his hand on Spike's chest, "You have a heartbeat, Spike."

"No, I don't. Vampire, remember?"

Xander snatched Spike's hand and placed it on his chest. "Heartbeat, Spike. Feel that?"

Spike started to look frightened. "What the hell is going on?"

"I - I don't know, baby. Let's - " and then Willow came flying through the door. "Willow - just the person I was getting ready to call. What did you do to Spike?"

"Spike! You're awake!" Willow looked at Xander. "What do you mean, what did I do to Spike? I just cast a simple healing spell!"

"Willow, he has a heartbeat and he's breathing."

"No, he doesn't," Willow said as she reached for Spike's wrist. "He's a vampire, he can't... Um, why do you have a pulse, Spike?"

Still frightened but rapidly becoming frustrated as well, Spike said, "That's what we're trying to figure out. What spell did you use?"

"Vigoratus is vir..."

Spike blinked and looked thoughtful as he obviously translated it in his head. "Um, Willow, didn't you use 'lamia' instead of 'vir'?"

"No... 'Heal this man.' Isn't that right?"

"Well, it would be if you were trying to heal Xander. But I'm not a man - I'm a vampire."

Willow suddenly looked worried. "Um, oops?"

"Yeah, oops."

Xander took control back. "Well, we need to get someone in here to get the feeding tube out anyway, baby, so we'll have them check you over and see what we can find out."

"Feeding tube?" Spike raised a hand to his face, feeling the slender tube coming from his nose. "Christ. Was this really necessary, luv?"

Feeling defensive, Xander said, "Yes, it was - you were losing massive weight and we had to do something."

"Okay, okay." Holding up his hands, Spike backed down. "Let's call someone then."

When Xander made no move to let go of Spike and pick up the phone, Willow smiled and did it. "Giles? Can you come to Xander's room? And bring a nurse or a doctor or something? Preferably one who doesn't know Spike?" There was a pause while Giles obviously answered. "Yeah, we definitely want one who doesn't know he's a vampire. Just trust me, okay?" Willow listened again, and then said, "Alright. See you in a bit then," and hung up.

"He's coming?"

"Yeah, as soon as he can find someone who won't recognize Spike or Xander on sight."

"That shouldn't be that hard," Xander said, puzzled.

"You really haven't had time to talk to anyone, have you, Xander? There's books written about you and Spike. Well, about all of us, really, and they're mandatory reading for both new slayers and new watchers."

"Books?" both Xander and Spike sputtered.

"Books."

That shut them up, and they simply sat and waited for Giles, Spike huddled in Xander's arms. Finally, there was a soft knock at the door, and when Xander called out, "Come in," Giles walked in, trailed by an older, slightly befuddled looking man.

"Dr. Sherman, there's your patient."

"Which one?"

Xander got off the bed, and pointed at Spike. "He is, doctor. His name is William."

Spike looked at Xander and glared, mouthing the word "William?"

"What seems to be the problem?"

"He's been in a coma, doctor. He woke up this morning and he needs to be checked over and the feeding tube removed."

"A coma, you say?" Dr. Sherman stepped over to the bed and pulled out a stethoscope. "Why hasn't he been in hospital?"

Giles cleared his throat. "It was judged safer for him to be here in the safehouse than in hospital, doctor."

Xander waited for a response, but instead the doctor simply held up one finger as he listened to Spike's lungs and heart, instructing him to take deep breaths and move this way and that. Then he had him lie back on the bed. "You seem to be in relatively good health, though you're a bit underweight. Let me just get this tube out."

As Spike made a pained face, the doctor tugged lightly on the tube, and then pulled it up and out. "There you go. Stick with soft foods for the next few days, till you're sure you're not having any problems with choking or the like."

Giles looked confused. "Doctor? Isn't there anything... well, odd, about Sp - William?"

The doctor shook his head, looking confused. "No. Like I said, he's a little malnourished, but being fed with a food tube will do that. Heartbeat, respiration, reflexes are all within normal ranges."

As Giles thanked the doctor and escorted him out, Spike and Xander stared at one another. Finally, Spike spoke, "Does this mean that I'm... human?"

"It looks like it. Can someone explain what has happened here?" Giles said from the door.

As Willow took him in the other room and explained the mix up with the spell, a thought occurred to Xander. "You know, we still don't know if the MRI did what it was supposed to."

Spike nodded. "I don't know how to test it, though."

"I do. Hit me."

"I'm not going to hit you, Xander." Spike looked horrified by the idea. Xander sighed.

"I didn't say punch me." He held out his hand, palm down. "I said, hit me."

"Oh." Spike visibly braced himself and then slapped the hand as hard as he could. Grabbing at his head, he looked comically surprised when the expected headache didn't happen, especially since Xander was now cradling a bright red hand to his chest.

"It worked." Spike looked blank for a moment, and then a wide grin split his face. "It worked!"

Xander grinned and leaned forward to kiss Spike. "It did, baby!"

There was the sound of a faked cough, and they looked over to see Willow and Giles standing at the door. Willow was blushing and Giles looked as if glasses cleaning was imminent.

Xander sat back out in his chair, clutching Spike's hand. "Okay, no more kissing for now. Do we have any idea what's going on?"

Giles looked completely baffled. "I'm going to have to look at some of my books, but as far as I can tell, when Willow used the word for 'man' instead of 'vampire' - the spell did just what she said. It healed the man - and of course, a healed man has a heartbeat and breathes. In other words, it looks like you're simply human again. This may have something to do with that prophecy - Shanshu, was it?"

"Human..." Spike sounded a little lost, looking from Xander to Giles and back again.

"Giles and Willow, why don't you guys leave us alone for a while? I think Spike needs some time to let it absorb and you need to do some research, right?"

They both nodded and excused themselves as Xander slid back up on the bed and wrapped his arms around Spike again. "You okay, baby?"

"I'm fine. Well, no, I'm not. How am I supposed to feel?"

Xander kissed his cheek and said, "You feel however you feel, baby. You're human - that means that you can do anything you want."

"But... does that mean..." Spike's voice trailed off.

"Does that mean what?"

"Well, you didn't sign on for me being human. Do you still want me?"

Xander tipped up his head and kissed him deeply. "Baby, the question goes the other way. You don't have the chip anymore, so you don't need me to defend you. You're human, so you can go anywhere you want. Why would you want to stay with me?"

Spike bit his lip and said, "Because I love you."

"I love you too. So, there we go. Now instead of a human and a vampire, we're two humans who love each other. That one's easy to do, comparatively."

This time the kiss was started by Spike, and it rapidly became heated. When Xander broke away to nip at Spike's neck, he shivered. "God, please don't tease."

"I'm not going to - but do you feel up to it? You've only been awake for a little while and you've had some big news."

"Oh, fuck yes, I want it. I want to see how being alive feels after all this time."

Xander pressed Spike back into the bed and knelt next to him, unfastening his shirt and opening it from neck to waist, baring his chest to his view. "You're so beautiful, Spike." He was fascinated to see that a human Spike blushed all the way down to the waist.

Bending down, he took a nipple into his mouth, suckling it gently. Small sounds of want and need were already coming from above him, and when he bit softly, there was a loud moan.

For long minutes, he alternated between nipples, getting them hard and tight. When Spike's breathing became harsh and fast, he pulled back, accompanied by a groan of disappointment.

"Shh, baby. Not done yet, by a long shot." Carefully, he slid his hands under the waist of the loose sleep pants that Spike was wearing, guiding them over his erection and down the narrow hips. "Turn over, Spike. I want to taste you."

Spike cooperated, rolling over onto his knees and putting his shoulders down on the bed. Xander gently spread his cheeks, exposing Spike's entrance to his gaze. Blowing a stream of cool air across it, he watched as it tightened up a little, and then when he licked it, felt how very tight Spike had gotten.

Little by little, he opened Spike with his mouth, loving the taste and feel of him under his tongue and lips. When he started to press back into Xander, he carefully, slowly, pressed a finger inside him.

"Oh, god... so good, Xander..." Spike panted.

"I know, baby. You're so tight and hot inside. Gonna make you feel so very, very good."

Using a lot of slick, Xander slowly opened Spike even further, till he was taking three fingers and moaning for more. "You ready, baby?"

Spike nodded against the bed, practically speechless, and Xander slicked himself up. Carefully, he pressed the head of his cock against Spike's entrance, only to be surprised when he pressed himself up on his hands and back, so that Xander slid in much faster than he expected.

The heat inside was indescribable, and Xander nearly came right that second from the feel. But he wanted desperately to make it good for Spike, and so he clutched at Spike's hips, holding him still and forcing him to wait as Xander counted to fifty. Backwards. In Swahili.

Finally he felt like he could move without the top of his head blowing off within seconds. Guiding Spike up so that he was kneeling in his lap, he bit him on the neck and said, "Okay baby. Show me how you move."

Instantly, Spike started to rock, every stroke taking Xander deep and then reluctantly releasing him till just the head of his cock was still inside. One of Xander's hands crept around Spike's waist and started to toy with his cock, touching and pulling lightly, while the other found a nipple. Spike groaned and fell back, head turning so that Xander could bite his neck.

"Good, baby? Feels good?"

The only thing he got was a deep, heartfelt groan from Spike, and Xander had to smile.

Pushing him forward again, Xander took his hips in his hands and started to really move, each stroke going deep. It didn't take long, and Spike was crying out, begging for more, for harder, to pleasepleasepleasegod to come.

Xander sped up, blinking sweat out of his eye and trying to hold off his own orgasm. "Come for me, baby. Go ahead. Want to feel you milk my cock."

With a cry, Spike tightened up impossibly and came, pulling Xander's orgasm with him.

When Xander could move again, he found himself on his side, curled around and still inside Spike. "God, I love you."

Spike pushed back into him and kissed his arm. "Love you too. Everything is going to be all right now, right?"

"Everything is going to be just fine."
- 1
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True Strength