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What sound does a heart breaking make?	By : chilli Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Angel(us)/Xander > Angel(us)/Xander Views: 24006 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, Angel or Blade. I make no money from this.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series
TITLE: What sound does a heart breaking make?
AUTHOR: WillJ
EMAIL: dragonechilde@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://www.slashaholics-island.com/library; http://www.adult-fanfiction.org; http://www.brain-insane.com/beyondcanon; www.chocolatecandykisses.com
PAIRINGS: S/X in this part
RATING: Eventual NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I make any claim to, nor hold any license to the original characters to this story. These characters are used for the sake and sole purpose of entertainment only. No profit shall be, nor will be gained from the writing found hereafter; nor shall any personal credit be taken as to the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original characters used. All situations in the story below, unless otherwise stated, should not, in any way, have any bearing on the creator’s original work.
FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or through the list
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS:
SUMMARY: An ancient malignant evil has come to Sunnydale. Pitting lovers and friends against one another. Leaving one lone Scooby with only one place to run…
BETA'D BY: Elaine (the mighty) and James (the marvelous)

Part 1
Xander splashed cold water on his face in the boy's bathroom, then regarded himself in the mirror and wondered if he looked as dispirited as he felt. And one glance gave him the answer: Hell yeah!
He sighed and shook his head sadly. Well Harris, when you wanna screw up, you certainly don't wanna waste too much time, do you? He sneered into the mirrored brown eyes. Now cover up that beaten down look, march out there and show Sunnydale High that Xander Harris is still on top of his game. Then he gave a firm nod to the unsure boy and waited.
Right! I'm gonna march up to Ms. Cordelia Chase...and keep right on walking rapidly past her, with a wry grin before pushing away from the sink.
And grabbing his books, he made sure his clothes were adjusted properly. After all, no need for anybody to see the most recent bruises darkening his arms from last night's little rumble or better known as getting his ass royally beat down. Maybe I could try to see if Giles has time now to teach me the fine art of self-defense. Or better yet, maybe I should con Queen Margaret, I mean, Wesley, to teach me some moves. I need to start calling him by his name or I might just slip and it’s Bye Bye Bruce Lee, Welcome Back Gumby. And with a sigh he headed for his fourth period class just as the bell rang outside.

Pausing briefly outside the library doors, he strongly resisted the urge to slink into the room when he saw Oz and Willow at the table. Bursting into the room, he grabbed a chair and gave them his best winsome smile.
“Howdy folks...” he tossed off a smirk and saw Willow smile briefly before a cool glance from Oz made her smile wither and cast confused eyes down at her laptop.
“Hey Xan, missed you at patrol last night,” Faith nodded at him with an amused smile.
“Sorry, I had to stay home.” He replied briefly and his lips tightened for a second as he met Oz's unreadable expression before he looked away. Straight at the sight of Buffy and Deadboy canoodling up the stairs by the racks of books.
God somebody really needed to hose those two down, preferably hooked up to a nice fountain of Holy Water. They were so sickening sweet it was enough to turn his stomach and speaking of stomachs....
“Hey G-man, you got anything to eat in here beside tea and scones?” he looked around as Giles and Wesley came out of the elder Watcher's office.
“Xander, please don't call me that...” Giles requested with long suffering patience and Wesley hid a tiny grin behind his hand. Faith didn't bother to hide her chuckle.
“And no, I don't have anything to eat. Why don't you go and get us some donuts or something?” Giles requested as he pulled out his wallet. He missed the brief flicker of hurt cross Xander face, but Wesley and Faith frowned.
“Donuts? Did somebody say donuts? Xander, if you're going to get donuts, could you make mine one of those powered jelly one? With raspberry filling?” Buffy pulled away from Angel's lips to call down to him.
Willow looked up from her computer. “Mmmm, donuts! Get me anything chocolatey!” she exclaimed eagerly.
“Xander, why don't you make a list? You don't want to forget our orders,” Oz slid a his words in smoothly watching Xander flush with anger.
“Yeah, why don't I just do that?” Xander sneered at the shorter boy.
“What a capital idea, Oz!” Giles looked enthused at the young boy's suggestion.
Wesley looked at the senior Watcher in mild disbelief before looking away. “Why don't I accompany you Xander? I still would like to get acquainted with your charming town.”
“Yeah, I'll go with,” Faith jumped off the table and grabbed her jacket.
Giles looked up and protested, “No, you two are needed here. I have something I need to discuss on a prophecy that I recently ran across.”
Xander froze for half a second before continuing to rise from his chair. “That's okay you two. Maybe you can come on another donut run with me.” And there was a slight note of bitterness to his words that made Angel look at him sharply.
“But I insist upon accompanying you.” Wesley voice was firm as he walked to the double doors.
“What he said,” Faith added, smoothly sauntering after them.
“But we need to discuss this prophecy.” Giles took off his glasses and rubbed tiredly at his eyes.
Faith shrugged her shoulders, unconcernedly. “Well, if it's that important then I guess them donuts can wait, ya think?”
And something, some unnamable emotion flashed in the dark Slayer's eyes caused Giles to flush.
“Yes, yes, of course you're entirely correct,” Giles replied hurriedly and unnoticed Oz's eyes shifted to wolf then back to human.
Unnoticed by all except Angel, who regarded the young werewolf thoughtfully.
And he was growing increasingly disturbed by the anger he smelled. From Buffy he had heard about Xander and Willow’s rendezvous when Spike had kidnapped them. But he had also thought the two friends relationship had begun to mend from it’s near fatality, especially considering the endless amount of amusement Buffy seemed to find in the situation. From the things she said it was simply a cause of enjoyment and both sets of couples were doing okay.
But now that he thought about it, the sharp-tongue cheerleader hadn’t been attending the meetings in the past few months after recovering from her near fatal plunge. And from the smell Oz was giving off, the slight boy hadn’t definitely hadn’t forgiven Xander. Angel shook his head, perhaps he needed to mention the werewolf’s hostility to Rupert, since it may prove to have disastrous consequences for the annoying boy. A were's anger towards a human was not something to ignore.
And resolved to have words with Giles, he took his seat around the table as Giles began to speak.
“I've not been able to decipher the entire prophecy due to it's rather obscure language. However, what I have been able to piece together is this prophecy refers to some sort of Super Slayer being created from the union of a Protector...meaning you Buffy. And considering the advent of the Gn'aesh demons, this couldn't come at a better time.” And Giles peered at his Slayer indulgently, who flushed with pleasure.
“And, of course, the dark Champion. A demon warrior...meaning Angel.” This time his voice flattened disagreeably despite Buffy's squeal of joy.
Wesley frowned and hesitantly spoke. “Are you sure that the prophecy relates solely to Buffy? How sure are you that it doesn't refer to Faith?” Not that he would have his Slayer involved with a vampire. He shuddered, that was just...wrong!
Giles took off his glasses in exasperation, he was becoming heartily sick of the young man constantly questioning his methods. “Because the prophecy refers to each one of us: The demon Champion of both light and dark; the Witch of new beginning-Willow; the Seeker of Knowledge-me; the abandoned Heart-I would imagine refers to Xander; the manbeast would be Oz; and the hidden Protector-meaning Buffy, of course.”
Buffy clutched at Angel's arm. “Does this mean were going to be together, like forever?” She looked at Giles in hope, hardly able to believe that she and her honey could be together. Forever.
“And what about my curse?” Angel looked embarrassed to speak of such a private matter, despite the fact that everyone knew about Angelus.
“Apparently, there's some provision of some sort within the prophecy. Which is why I feel this prophecy relates directly to our group.” Giles regarded Wesley with a stern look though with a secret, tiny smile of triumph. There could be only one powerful Slayer at a time and he intended to make sure that Buffy was that one Slayer!
“We simply must research until the prophecy is deciphered. That is where mainly I will be needing the services of both Wesley and Angel since you two are the most adept at ancient languages. You children will be pressed into service, hunting down books, scrolls and so forth for us.”
Xander looked sourly at Buffy and Deadboy. After everything Angelus did to them, they get to be happy?! What about his happiness?! Didn't he get a chance too? It was official: the universe was definitely out to get him. A couple of lousy, well not exactly lousy but a couple of kisses with Willow and it beat down on Xander year. Yet Buffy allows Angelus to kill, torture, terrorized the entire town; AND she runs away, comes back, hides ole Broodboy, lies and STILL gets to be happy! There absolutely no freakin' justice in the world.
“Xander doesn't appear to be happy about something,” Oz voice was low and quiet but Xander flushed as everyone's eyes turned to him.
And Xander quickly plastered a fake smile on his face. “Nah, I was just thinking about my Chemistry test two days from now. Oh, that reminds me, Willow could I borrow some of your notes? Like, maybe all of them for some seriously intense cramming?” And he gave her his best puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, but I was gonna ask to borrow them!” Buffy immediately protested, turning pleading eyes on their red headed friend.
“Hey there missy, get in the back of the line and besides, I asked her first!” Xander replied sharply. “Anyhow, you can always get G-man to help you cram before your test, your's ain't for another three days.”
Willow looked torn and bewildered at the twin pleading expression on her friends faces. While Wesley's was simply puzzled.
“Well....Buffy really needs the help,” she said hesitantly and immediately felt guilty at the flash of disbelief on Xander's face. Then a blankness descended on his face and she wanted so badly to take back her words, but Oz squeezed her hand warningly. And Willow looked down at the table to avoid the triumphant look on Buffy's face as well as the look of betrayal on Xander's.
Angel's brows rose in astonishment at the slight Willow gave to Xander. Obviously things had gotten far worse between Willow and Xander.
“Excuse me Miss Rosenburg, while I do realize that these are your notes, but Giles does your Slayer really need that much time to prepare for a test?” And his tone casts serious doubts on the intelligence of the blonde Slayer.
“You go too far, Mr. Wyndham Price,” Giles stated frostily while Buffy frowned. “At least my Slayer is getting an education and attends school,” he added waspishly.
“Hey, that was an insult, wasn't it?” Buffy demanded to know.
Angel got up from the table, briefly assuring Giles that he would start researching tomorrow night and left the warring group.
Xander jumped up from his chair at seeing the younger Watcher flinch and Faith get to her feet threateningly. “Dudes! It's okay! I'll get through the test okay! Seriously.”
Wesley looked at the young man consideringly. “I must say, I did rather well while at school, I’m pleased to say. I am quite sure that chemistry follows the same rule here in America as England. I would be honored if you would allow me to help you prepare. I know of some mnemonics that may prove invaluable tools.” He offered tentatively and was glad to see the slight smile cross the boy's face. When he first arrived, he didn't think he would fit in with the Sunnydalers, they appeared to be such a cohesive unit.
“Where do I sign up?” Xander laughingly, slinging an arm over Wesley’s shoulders as they walked away.
“Hey, what about me?!” Buffy pouted, looking extremely upset.
“Hey B, you got Red's notes, so use 'em,” Faith gave her sister slayer a cheerful glance over her shoulder and sauntered after the two males.
Xander, for the first time received a B+ on his exam; Buffy received a D-; Oz managed a B- while Willow soared with an A.
He burst into the library, flushed with triumph and success. “Ladies and Gentlemen, drinks are on me! Wesley, I got Geometry and Biology that I'm seriously in extreme need of help.” He grinned cheerfully.
But Wesley looked regretful as he shook his head. “I'm truly sorry but I really must begin training with Faith.”
Faith raised a brow at the flicker of disappoint on the Xander’s face and felt a spurt of guilt. “Hey, why don't you train with me? Then after, you two can do all that schooling shit, ya know?” she drawled out huskily, flipping a stake end over end.
Giles heard Faith’s offer as he came out of his office. And seeing Wesley nod in agreement, he made his way over to the younger Watcher. “Do you really think that is wise?” he spoke quietly and at the man's blank look clarified his words. “Splitting your resources and attention away from your Slayer.”
Wes blinked, then his brows rose, “You don't train them in self defense?”
“Certainly not! I find it difficult enough just to get Buffy to pay attention and to train.” Giles snorted and then frowned at the look the younger man gave him as if he had somehow disappointed the junior Watcher in some way.
“Perhaps I've misunderstood things,” Wesley replied without his usual hesitant manner. “These young people risk their lives on a nightly basis with your Slayer. A female endowed with superior reflexes, strength as well as rapidly healing powers. While they are purely mortal, with all the usual human frailties and you don't train them how to protect themselves?!” and his final words rose in a near shout before he spun away angrily.
“Xander, Faith let's go! The atmosphere is here has become quite stifling,” and with a final blistering glare at the flummoxed Giles he hustled the two away, muttering about ‘doddering old fools’.
And air between the two Watchers became decidedly frosty after that, especially after Giles tried again to dissuade Wesley from teaching Xander self-defense. Then Buffy decided to stick her nose into the affair, naturally taking Giles side, while Willow hesitantly tried to smooth the strained atmosphere rising between everyone.
Even when Xander regretfully stopped taking lessons from Wes to ease the situation, it still did little to lessen the mounting tension. Which erupted one day when Buffy accused Xander of starting the trouble in the first place. Unfortunately, she did this in front of the dark haired Slayer who proceeded to tear a strip off the blonde Slayer. Which led to the two Slayers settling in a knockdown, drag out fight. A fight that Xander and Angel, who had just arrived, found themselves strangely in tune with each other as they attempt to pull the warring females apart.
“What the hell is going on?!” Angel yelled at Faith.
“Why don't you ask little Miss I Gotta Be Number One!” Faith roared back.
“Me?!” Buffy screamed, and only Angel's arms prevented her from attacking the dark Slayer again. “All I said was the truth: that Giles and Wes are pissed off at each other because of Xander. If he hadn't ran whining to Wes to teach him how to fight instead of Giles then they wouldn’t be fighting. Which, I might add, is the Damn Truth!” Buffy yelled breaking away from Angel and getting into Faith’s personal face.
To which the dark haired slayer responded by shoving the smaller girl back. “You're such a fuckin' idiot! Who the hell did you think he would ask first?! The Tooth Fairy? Of course, he asked your lameass Watcher first, but he's too busy training your stubborn ass to help Xander!” Faith shouted back angrily.
“Well, of course he's helping me first! I'm his Slayer so naturally he would want to train with me first. And besides, why the hell would Xander want to learn how to fight? That's my job!” the blonde whirled around to storm at Xander.
“Our job, you mean!” Faith said coldly. “And besides, we fight demons not humans at least that's what they tell me.”
And by this time Xander was sure that running around school naked would be less embarrassing especially with Deadboy...he blinked, puzzled. Hey, did Deadboy just look at me sympathetically?
“Buffy ENOUGH!” Angel roughly shook her when she went to take a swing at Faith. And his expression was unmoved at the look of shock on her face when she whirled around to look at him.
By this time, Giles, Wesley and the others had entered the library.
“Angel?! Surely you're not taking their side?” Buffy gasped in astonishment.
Angel sighed wearily. “All I'm saying is that if Xander wants to learn how to defend himself and Wesley has the time to teach him, it's their business. Not yours, not mine. THEIRS.”
“But it's making Giles look like he doesn't care!” Buffy voice rose in protest and Giles flinched as Angel flicked a cool sardonic look at him.
“Buffy we all know that Giles cares and where his priorities lie.” Angel's voice was quietly noncommittal but the diminutive blonde relaxed and smiled up at him.
“I'm glad you agree,” she stuck her tongue out at Faith, who made a disgusted face at the two of them. A Slayer and a vampire, for Chrissakes!
It took several more days of intense researching and deciphering by the older members before Giles felt that they had the whole prophecy deciphered.
Sitting at the library table late one night, while wolfOz sleep in the cage, Giles exclaimed softly, drawing Angel and Wesley's attention.
“That's it...” and the librarian scrambled on the table for a book. Flipping through it and writing something down, then studying what he had written.
“Come on, man, speak up!” Wesley burst out impatiently.
And Giles at first smiled then frowned unhappily before he reluctantly spoke.
“Essentially, the prophecy states that the oldest must join with the youngest and untouched among our group. Meaning Angel, who happens to be the oldest must have sexual congress with our youngest virgin. The joining will father a power that will produce some sort of Ultimate Protector.”
Angel choked and rasped out hoarsely, “I have to have sex with a virgin?!” His voice rose in horrified disbelief then he and Giles exchanged very unhappy looks: Buffy was definitely not going to like this.
“Unfortunately yes, which rules out Buffy,” Giles replied sourly and Wesley hid a smile of unholy amusement. The blonde Slayer was going to have kittens over her precious vampire getting a leg over someone not her!
“So that only leaves Willow, I believe...” Angel sighed softly. And in the cage, wolfOz eyes slowly opened.
And Giles joined him in looking depressed, though of course Angel had much more practice at looking brooding. “I very much fear so.”
“And once we have s...this thing is done,” Angel couldn't even say the word 'Sex' and Willow in one breath. “So once it's done, how will the power be transferred?” he managed to choke out. He was not liking this part of the plan at all and he was becoming increasingly unsure whether he wanted to be joined with Buffy. Especially for eternity.
Giles rummaged through the papers littering the table until he found the one he sought.
“Ah...here it it,” and he thrust the paper at the two other men.
Wesley frowned heavily just looking at the components of the spell. “Giles, while I am more than happy to help but this spell requires a great deal of power for a single person to handle.”
“Not if there were two or more people casting the spell.” Giles replied smugly with a significant look at Angel.
“Willow?! But she's just a novice. Are you sure she's able to handle this amount of power?” Angel asked softly with a frown.
“Quite sure. I've been working with her for months to increase her spell casting abilities. They tie in quite nicely with Buffy's slayer powers,” the senior Watcher replied as he began gathering up the papers.
And the younger Watcher’s face was unreadable as he looked at Giles. “But you didn't have time to teach Xander self-defense?”
“He had no useful...” Giles began to reply absently before he caught himself. “I mean to say...I don't have to answer to you, Mr. Wyndham-Price!” Stiffening his back at the twin glares he received from the two men.
Angel looked at the senior Watcher in disgust and simply left, growing more uneasy by Buffy and her Watcher.
“I'm quite sure we both know what you meant to say, Mr. Giles.” the younger man retorted icily before he left as well.
Leaving Giles to storm into his office and noisily slam the door.
And there was a look of cold, calculated intelligence gleaming in the werewolf eyes before he closed them again.
“Oz! What's all this for?!” Willow exclaimed in pleased surprise when she walked into his house. He had caught her before her third period class and asked her to meet him at his house after school. She knew by the look on his face that whatever he wanted to tell her was serious.
But candles...flowers?! She gazed around her in open-mouthed awe.
“You like?” he smiled at her as he pulled her forward into the living room, where the table was set with uncommon elegance.
“Oooo, I definitely like! Is it for me?” she asked hesitantly, peering at him.
“Of course...” Oz kissed her gently, then harder as her mouth parted willingly.
And for Willow, it was truly a magical evening. One full of laughter and teasing kisses then slowly followed by rapturous joy. It was almost everything Buffy told her it would be and afterwards she lay panting breathlessly, heavily.
“Wow...”
Oz stroked his fingertips down a bare shoulder. “Wow? That's all I get?” he asked teasingly.
“Well, I would say more but...” and she blushed furiously, unused to pillow talk.
“Then maybe we should try again...” Oz breathed huskily before settling over her. And by morning, Willow had definitely increased her vocabulary skills.
Walking down the hall she ran smack into Buffy. Taking one look at Willow, the blonde Slayer hurriedly pushed Willow into the girl’s bathroom. Squealing with excitement.
“Omigod! Tell me you didn't do what I think you did? Tell me that blissed out look isn't what I think it is?” Buffy peered intently into Willow's instantly red face...”OMIGOD, YOU HAD SEX WITH OZ!!”
“Will you keep it down?!” Willow shrieked in protest as a couple of girls gave her amused looks and a few 'Way to go Willow!'
“How was it?” Buffy asked eagerly. She was nearly dying from sexual frustration. If it wasn't for Mr. Pointy being good for something other than staking vampires, she didn't know what she would do. She couldn't wait for the spell to kick in for Angel. She sincerely hope that her vampire sweetie tied her to the bed...and she flushed.
Willow sighed, her eyes dreamy. “He had candles, flowers and he even fixed my favorite meal. It was soooo romantic!”
The blonde regarded her friend with jealous eyes. “You lucky dog...”
“Don't worry Buffy, when we get this soul thingie done with Angel, you'll be the one getting...” and Willow voice trailed off in a furious blush as the other girl laughed at her embarrassment.
“C'mon Miss Priss, let’s get to class. And later Giles got something to tell us about the prophecy.”
“Oooo d'ya think...think that it could be about you getting pumped...pumped up to Super Slayer?” Willow asked in a breathless rush.
Buffy grinned modestly. “Yep, Giles told me a some of it yesterday. But apparently you had better things to do with your time.” This was said in a lofty tone that had Willow stammering apologies before she realized her friend was joking. And laughing she gave Buffy a smack on the shoulder before continuing to their classes.
On the other side of the school, Xander screwed up his courage once again and tried to approach the imperious Cordelia Chase.
She had reclaimed her position as leader of Sunnydale High fashion mavens, the most elite of cliques and her title as the most popular girl. And she had no intention of ever stepping back into Loserville again. Once was more than enough she thought with a shudder.
As Xander came closer, she tossed her hair over her shoulder. Then making sure that he was near enough she started speaking, “Orange checkered shirts are so....passé. Only losers or someone that does their shopping in the rummage bin of the Thrift Store wore...things like that.” Obligingly her Cordettes tittered on cue as they looked pointedly at Xander's orange checkered shirt.
And out of the corner of her eye she could see him slink away, like the dirty rat-bastard he was. Denying the twinge she felt in her chest at the closed, beaten look on his face. She blamed the pain she felt on her injury an injury caused by him at that slutty Willow. She was still trying to figure out a way to get back at that little tramp, Little Miss Innocent. HA!
With a final sneer at Xander's retreating back she stalked away with the long-legged grace of the super confident and chattered brightly with her scurrying entourage.
Xander darted into the boy's bathroom. Ignoring the other guys casting him sidelong glances of amusement and entering a stall, he simply withdrew inside himself. Trying to gather his already shaky nerves for another round of ignore the Zeppo. His mouth quirked, yeah despite his secret little adventure with Jack and the Zombies, why did he still feel so fuckin' useless? He proved that he could stand on his own so why the worthless feeling...better yet why in the hell was he talking to himself in the boy's bathroom? Then taking a few, unfortunately deep breath and grimacing at the icky smell he flushed the toilet and exited. Glad to see most of the other guys were gone but feeling uneasy at the sight of Oz washing his hands.
“Oz...” he nodded warily to the smaller boy as he washed his hands also. Wondering about the flicker of amusement on the other's face.
“Xander...” Oz replied smoothly. Struggling not to laugh at the confused look on the idiot's face. It took a great deal of self-control not to rip Xander's face to shreds but he managed, he wanted a better way to destroy his rival. Something that would haunt the other until the day he died...something the equivalent of pissing all over his enemy. And two nights ago he had found it, or he had overheard it. A way to totally destroy Xander, a way that would last forever in his rival's mind.
Perhaps when he was done, he would kill Giles as well he mused. The old fool thought him a tame wolf, to beg and sit up at his command. But soon the tweed man would slip and he would find that a werewolf's teeth were just as sharp as a natural wolf's and besides he was getting really tired of the old man yapping about his precious Slayer. Always wanting her to be the best, to be better than anyone else. Well, if the stupid bitch, no he wouldn't insult his canine sisters by calling Buffy a bitch. She was a slut, a little tramp that couldn't be bothered to pay attention to what was going on around her. All she wanted to do was party or dance the night away. If she paid more attention to working out, learning to identify demons instead whining about going to the Bronze then maybe she would be that somebody that people could point to with pride. But as it was, if he was lucky then Buffy the Vampire Layer would get killed by one of the demons she hunted so enthusiastically.
If it wasn't for Angel's presence she would probably have her legs spread by some stranger in the alley. She fooled everyone else, but he still had the senses of a wolf and he smelled all sorts of different men whose scents mingled with hers. Almost a different one every night ever since she came back from where ever she ran off to, but Angel's arrival put a stop to her party days.
“Uhm...Oz? Dude you okay...?” Xander asked hesitantly when the other became even more laconic than usual. But at least he was smiling a little, the taller boy thought. A weird smile that made you want to run away, a smile that was showing waaaaay too many teeth, but still it was a smile right?
Right.
“Sorry...” Oz forcefully dimmed his smile.
“That's okay it's just good to see you smiling..” the other grinned. “Wonder what G-man all twigging to tell us, huh?”
“See me quiver...” Oz answer briefly as they strolled into the library.
Willow looked up with a smile that widened to see two of her favorite people talking all friendlylike. She felt like pinching herself even though Xander grinned and gave her the thumbs up behind Oz's back. And she also felt guilty because despite the way Oz treated him, Xander never told anybody that the last kiss, the one that almost killed Cordy was her fault.
To finally have the boy that she had spent so much time crushin' over to actually want her back, and slapping Cordy secretly in the face at the same time, was more than she could resist. No matter how Xander had protested, she had begged shamelessly for one last kiss, knowing that he wouldn't, couldn't refuse her. If they were going to part then she wanted one more delicious, forbidden Xanderkiss.
But they were found by the two people they never wanted to find out: Oz and Cordy. Though if she wasn't with Oz she wouldn't have minded Cordy seeing them like that but she didn't want the girl hurt. Emotionally hurt like the other had made her feel in the past but not physically hurt.
And when her vampself came to visit, she almost jumped for joy when she found out her and Xander were still together, though in a crazy vampirey kinda way. Though it was sorta scary to see herself as a vampire, but heck not many people could actually say they knew what they would be like twisted and evil.
She came out of her reverie at the sound of chairs being scraped as everyone sat down. Briefly puzzled at Angel even more broodyness. Sheesh! Does he ever stop?!
Angel had never felt more uncomfortable in his unlife. The only thing he could safely predict was that either Xander or Oz would seriously try to put a permanent end to his life or facsimile of a life once they heard what Giles had to say.
Giles cleared his throat unnecessarily as the attentive faced focused on him. “Well, we've finally deciphered the prophecy. And it appears that apparently part of it concerns Angel having sexual intercourse.”
There was absolute silence before Xander raised his hand. Giles sighed, he should have know that it would be the boy that would be the first to speak.
“I'm sorry but for some crazy reason, I thought you said Angel got to get a happy and considering how well that worked out last time, what with the terrorizing of folks and trying to destroy the world, I can pretty much say ARE YOU FUCKIN' NUTS?!”
Yep, right on time, Angel glanced at his wristwatch. Mt. Xander is starting to rumble.
“Oh, but there's more,” Wesley couldn't help but to add in an acid tone before Giles could speak. “He gets to have sex with a virgin: your very own Willow.”
“Oh, fuck me...” Faith breathe, her eyes growing wide, darting between Willow and a frozen face Angel.
Buffy's mouth dropped open in shock while Willow looked as if she was going to faint any minute now. The only two young people that were calm, oddly enough, were Xander and Oz.
“Excuse me...” Xander murmured politely, pushing back his chair. And there was something about the eerie calmness that had everyone's attention riveted to him...as he stepped into the weapons cage and selected a crossbow and arrows.
Buffy scrambled to her feet and over to him. Knocking the crossbow out of his hand with a hard blow.
“Are you out of your mind?!” she shrieked at him and shoved him hard against the cage. “I'm just as pissed as you are but do you see me trying to kill Willow? She's my best friend!”
“Sorry, but Angel's no friend of mine...” came his icy retort.
“You've always hated him and you'd like nothing better than to see him dead wouldn't you?!” she growled.
Xander looked down into her face. “I cannot tell a lie...” he intoned with mock solemnness. “And here's a new flash for ya...HE'S ALREADY DEAD!” he shouted at her then angrily shoved her back as well. “Just because you wanna be Ms. Super Slayer of 1999 it gives you no fuckin' right to sacrifice Willow's virginity on the altar of your holy cause.”
Then he switched his angry attention to a sputtering Giles. “So, I suggest you find another way that DON'T involve Willow to get Buffy her goddamn power boost!”
Angel looked closely at a white-trembling Willow then flicked a cold, deliberate glance at Oz. “They'll have to, Willow's not a virgin anymore,” he stated calmly.
Willow wanted to crawl under the table in sheer mortification as everyone's attention slowly turned to her. God, if she had known her de-virginized state would be the topic of conversation then she definitely would have waited...until she was at least 90 years or older.
“Willow, say it ain't so...?” Xander gasped in disbelief. And he skimmed his eyes over her as if he could see some visible evidence of her experienced status. Buffy swung around slowly as the bathroom conversation and Giles shaken expression finally filtered through her mind.
“Oh shit...” was all she could think to say as Giles sighed.
Then in the silence Oz spoke, “Does the virgin have to be a female?”
Giles snapped without thinking, “Of course it d...” and his eyes narrowed as he met Wesley, then Angel's eyes. Then six pairs of eyes rested on Xander. And one by one eyes slowly focused on the dejected looking boy.
Well, we can't keep them from growing up, Xander thought with a heavy sigh. Then he looked up and jumped out of his chair in surprise at all the attention focused on him.
“What...” he looked nervously around.
Giles decided to be blunt. “Have you had sexual intercourse with a female or a male?”
Xander blushed fiery red, “Well, I can definitely say 'Hell No!' to the male part of your question but being the gentleman that I am, discretion forbids me from naming names.” he replied winking at Giles, man-to-man.
“He's a virgin...”Oz stated flatly and his glittering eyes hidden behind lowered lids.
“What?! Are you kidding? I...I...uhm...I've...well, so what if I am?!” Xander retorted defiantly. “Just because I'm waiting...” and Oz's words sank with horrifying slowness just as Angel exclaimed 'Oh, hell no!'
And the room erupted in a furious uproar. Wes yelling at Giles; Buffy and Faith in a screaming match; Xander raging about perverts and child molesters which got Angel to finally starting sniping at the boy, his eyes golden in rage. The only ones not raging were a calm Oz and a terrified Willow.
She finally managed to find a coach whistle and blew it piercingly. Drawing everyone's attention and forcing a silence on the enraged participants.
“N...n...now let's...a....all s....settle down and...and discuss this...c...c...calmly and rationally.” She stammered under the weight of their eyes.
“Okay, I am extremely calm and very rational when I say my ass is not going to be used to give Buffy a power boost. End of discussion. Thank you and y'all have a good night.” And Xander's voice was absolutely flat. There was not negotiating when someone spoke in that frozen, level tone. His mind was closed, locked down and the key deliberately thrown away.
But still Buffy and Giles tried.
...they played on his desire to live...
He would move to another town.
...they played on the fact that Buffy saved his life...
He countered with that nasty case of drowning she had came down with when she was 16.
...they kept hammering at him; questioning his loyalty, his willingness to help; to fight the good fight and Buffy and Giles could see he was wavering as the others' looked on in stunned horror.
And Wesley finally came out of his shock. “Have you two gone totally mad?!” he yelled in sheer disbelief. “You two are trying to force him to have sex with Angel despite his repeated cries of refusal. Do you understand that what you are doing is tantamount to rape? Admittedly, you are not the one doing the shagging but you are still trying to pressure him and disregarding his protestations.”
“Buffy, I have no idea what the hell is your problem, but I am really starting to wonder about you,” Angel interjected quietly when Wesley paused for breath and Buffy looked as if she was going to blast the the younger Watcher.
Buffy twisted to look at him, her blue eyes wide in stunned wonder. “Angel...I'm doing this for us... for us to be together for always. Isn't that what you want? To be with me?” And tears gathered quickly in her eyes before she bravely fought them back. But Angel was unmoved.
“Buffy, what I want and what you apparently want are two different things. If the price for your increased strength is my raping someone, then I'm afraid that you're gonna be shit outta luck and you're going to have to remain a normal Slayer. I've come too damn far for my redemption to lose it again. And I won't, not for you, not for anybody. The price of being with you is a little too steep. Would I die a permanent death for you? Yeah, more than likely I would, but rape an unwilling person...a person that's is supposed to be your friend?! All for the sake of increasing your strength? Are you that that confused between me and Angelus?!”
Angel shoved his chair back angrily from the table and looked coldly at the distraught blonde Slayer and her Watcher. “When you have another idea give me a call, until then I think it will be best for me to stay away from you two for now.” Then he silently strode from the library.
“This is all your fault!” Buffy whirled on Xander, her tears drying up instantly.
“MY FAULT?! Because I refuse to peddle my ass so you can be Super Girl?”
“Xander if you would just be reasonable about this whole situation, I sure you come to see...” Giles began in his most soothing manner and came to an abrupt halt as the boy's face seem to turn to stone.
“Giles, you're been a man that I've respected for some time. Someone that I've looked up to and admired a great deal, but if you finish that sentence, I swear to God, I'll punch you dead in your face!”
“And I'll hold him for you,” Faith added fiercely to Xander.
“You stay out of this bitch!” Buffy snarled at the dark haired Slayer. Rounding on the other female and ignoring Willow's shocked 'Buffy!'
“Bitch?!” Faith leaned forward and hissed, “Bitch is a name I'll wear with pride rather than PIMP!”
“Tell me Giles, should something else comes along that requires another one of your charges to sacrifice something for Buffy's benefit what will you do?” Wesley asked in a voice of ice, coldly damning the older man.
Giles looked away and sighed. “Buffy enough! We simply must think of another option before the Gn'eash demons arrive,” he spoke wearily as he sat back down and slumped in exhaustion.
Buffy whirled around with a look of startled consternation on her face and a stammered “But Giles...”
Giles met and held her eyes before she nodded almost imperceptibly.
“Xander, Wesley...you are both absolutely correct and I must sincerely apologize. My behavior today, my very words were all totally unacceptable. While I fear that I could easily attribute anxieties and my harsh words to the imminent arrival of the Gn'aesh but that is no excuse for my lack of judgment. I do hope that you will accept my most humble apologies.” Sincere regret was in his voice as well as his eyes.
Xander blinked, flushed with success at standing his ground. “Uhm...that's...that's okay. We all do and say things in times of stress that we don't really mean.”
He looked earnestly at the dejected looking Buffy and the remorseful Giles. “Look, I'm sorry that I was harsh with you but I have to draw the line somewhere. And my ass is where I hafta draw the line because I probably didn't mention this earlier or even tell you guys a long time ago but I'm not gay. I just never thought I would need to mention it. I mean, I'm gay in the sense that sometimes I'm really happy and usually laughing but not gay in the sense...that I really don't want to get into in front of the girls.” He blushed as he finished speaking.
“And you Wesley, do you also accept my apologies?” Giles questioned the other softly.
Wesley regarded him with no expression on his face. “Of course, I accept your apology in the spirit that it was given.” And Faith looked at her Watcher with narrowed eyes before turning her attention to the tweed Watcher.
I need to find a way to get rid of the interfering little git, Giles thought dispassionately. Once he's gone then we can re-apply pressure on the boy.
“Thank you...” he murmured before signaling that the meeting was over.
And it took him about five days to concoct an excuse to get rid of the younger man and his trampy Slayer. Then he and the others turned their attention to Xander.
Xander bounced cheerfully into the library, slowly down slightly at the cool looks that were directed at him. 'What did I do?' was his first panicky thought as he sidled into a chair.
“Ah Xander my boy, perhaps you might be good enough to fetch us some refreshments before the meeting?” Giles asked him calmly and disappeared into his office, returning with a small list that he gave to Xander.
“Uhm...sure...okay,” Xander replied uncertainly, getting out of his seat. He cast a beseeching look at Willow, silently urging her to look at him, but she kept her attention resolutely locked on her monitor.
And with dragging feet he left the library. When he returned 20 minutes later, they were still there but clearly whatever the latest big bad was had already been discussed and taken care of.
This became the pattern for the next several days as he was slowly but surely pushed out; made to feel invisible and unwanted. He tried calling Willow but she would just brush his worries aside before hanging up. Then he found it increasingly difficult to get ahold of her at home or find her at school. And Buffy, he shivered...there was definitely something wrong in that neck of the woods. There was just something...off about her. Her voice, her eyes...her attitude were really starting to freak him out.
But on the plus side, he was steadily progressing on the Cordelia front...Yea me! He was able to now get within three feet of her before she moved away AND her insults were losing their biting intensity. He rubbed his hands with glee...a couple more months of groveling and all would be right in the Xanderland.
A day later as he traversed the hallway to his next class he started getting an uneasy impression that something was decidedly out of place on him. A quick discrete check revealed that, yes indeed, pants were zipped, shirt was buttoned but still...
And he saw Willow at her locker and he hastily ran up to her before she disappeared.
“Willow, buddy, compadre...how's it hanging?” he asked with feigned cheerful enthusiasm
Willow started and silently cursed. Ooooh, they're gonna be mad at me, she groaned silently before putting on a smile. Distant, keep the smile distant, she admonished herself.
“Oh, Xander, I sorry I didn't see you...”
He looked at her with wide reproachful eyes and she had to steel herself not to give in. “Well, have you been getting my messages?”
“You know the routine...Oz, some afterschool stuff my mom got me down for...” she trailed off vaguely.
Oh thank God, she nearly yelled at the sight of Buffy and Oz approaching rapidly. This cloak and dagger stuff was just not something she was good at.
Xander's expression eased. “Oh...oh well then...what I wanted to asked you was...” then Buffy and Oz were on them.
And this time he was absolutely certain that Buffy was wintering in Iceland if the look in her eyes was any indication. Unnerved by her slightly frosty eyes, he stammered 'Hello' to the two. There were a few moments of silence and he wondered whether either would answer but then a greeting was reluctantly dragged out of them.
Then before he knew it, Buffy had slid between him and Willow, and Oz was disappearing rapidly around the corner with the red-head and then Buffy turned her back and was gone.
They just left him without even a word of goodbye and Cordelia frowned at the Scoobies increasingly odd behavior. Wondering what the hell was going on as she listened with half attention to the gossip Harmony was gleefully imparting to the group. But her attention was abruptly caught when the vapid blonde mention Xander.
“Back it up. What did you just say about him?” Cordy looked in total confusion at her friend.
Harmony quickly faked a sympathetic expression. “Oh, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this. It's all over school: Xander's gay!”
And eagerly she waited for Cordy's reaction. However, peals of uproarious laughter wasn't exactly the response she was looking for.
“Omigod, that was a good one Harm! I haven't laughed like that since Trudy Stillwell wore that green mini-skirt two seasons out of date. The day I believe Xander is gay is the day that the entire Paris fashion show disappears in a giant sinkhole.”
“But it's true...” Harmony insisted turning to a couple members of the clique for support. And two members nodded their heads reluctantly.
Again Harmony put a sympathetic expression on her face and touched Cordy supportively. “I know that you probably don't want to believe it but...”
Angrily Cordy shook her hand off. “Personally I think it's somebody spreading a bunch of lies. They must have seen you coming and figured they had found their carrier pigeon.” And her voice was harsh with disgust.
Dear God, was this really what she wanted? To be back among these back-stabbing, fake-smiling wanna be? At least when she hung with Xander and the Scoobies, though she never could stand Queen B and that red-head slut, at least she knew they made a difference in peoples lives. But these, and her lip curled as she regarded her vapid followers, the only difference they made was in fashion. She eyed Harmony's outfit, and not a very good difference either.
“That skirt makes your hips look way too wide.” And she stalked away. She had some serious thinking to do.
Harmony blinked and closed her mouth. “She just lashing out,” she remarked sagely and the others nodded wisely.
But by the next day of people eyeballing him in the halls Xander had found out what was going on. And sick fury roiled nastily in his stomach as he stormed into the library.
“So, because I refuse to let your boyfriend, your undead, soul losing boyfriend fuck me, you're spreading rumors that I'm GAY?!” he shrieked at them.
Willow's head jerked to Buffy in shock. That wasn't part of the plan! Avoiding him, silently letting him know that he would be welcomed back with opened arms if he would just...just...do IT was the plan. Nobody said anything rumors and the spreading of said rumors of gayness.
“One: I have no idea what you're talking about and Two: I haven't been spreading rumors that you're gay!” Buffy began calmly enough but ended up shouting. Pissed that she hadn't thought of the idea. Because when he did...the deed with Angel he definitely was going to have to leave Sunnydale High or better yet just leave Sunnydale itself. Because there was no fuckin' way was she going to tolerate him in the same school much less the same town as her and Angel.
“Oh yeah?! Then it's a coincidence that when I refuse to have sex with Angel these rumors start floating around, huh? Yeah, right! You think I'm that stupid? That I don't know what's going on with you and your little silent treatment and avoiding me? I'm perceptive guy or did you forget? And my answer is still gonna be the same: No ass and no fuckin' POWER!” and he stormed out the library with one burning glare of fury at Oz and Buffy, then a final glare of complete disgust at Willow.
After he left, Willow had to ask. She had to know. “Buffy are you sure we’re doing the right thing?” She had been so sure when Buffy, Giles and Oz had presented the idea but now…
“Baby, don’t you remember what Giles said about the Gn’aesh? About how they breed? They’ll turn this town into their own personal hatchery and thousands of Gn’aesh will be loose on the Earth. So Buffy needs the power to stop them. This is for the greater good what we are doing so we don’t have time for Xander’s hangups, valid as they may or may not be. Not if we want to survive.” Oz’s voice was low and earnest, giving more power to his words.
Willow nodded, shuddered and refocused her attention on her laptop. And Giles met the young werewolf’s eyes. He never said anything about Gn’aesh overrunning the world, they would more than likely return to their home dimension once they had depopulated Sunnydale. And he realized the young man had his own agenda against Xander. That in spite of his seemingly laidback exterior, the boy seethed with hatred and animosity for the other boy.
And the two males shared a grim smile before Giles returned back to his office. As long as the boy didn’t interfere with Buffy receiving her rightful due then he would allow Oz to continue. He had no doubt that the boy was the one behind the scurrilous rumors. Soon, combined with the alienation of the boy and the rumors spreading about him, they would have Xander right where they wanted him: on his knees before Angel.
It took almost three more days of constant torment, jeers and lewd insults before Xander started really feeling the effects of the intensified silent treatment. Walking alone through the halls, he had never felt more terrified in his life, not even when Angelus brought his unique blend of terror to Sunnydale. He never knew when or where an attack would come as he stumbled over deliberately outstretched feet, shoved into lockers, pushed into cement walls or even punched viciously within a crowd.
He had even taken to bringing an extra set of clothes after some asshole threw a balloon filled with urine on him. Each day, the abuse got worse, stepping up in intensity. He drew in a deep shaky breath and fought back tears. God, all wanted was to be and feel safe again. And the only place where he found some measure of peace or security was at school or with Willow. He never knew how much he had depended on his friend to keep him going, or how the school had become a haven for him…but now, neither were safe places to be.
He didn’t dare go to gym class anymore, and he shuddered as he sat in his darkened bedroom, remembering the jeering faces, the hard punishing hands, the sea of sneering contemptuous faces…and the pain of meeting the wall with his face. Again and again before he managed to escape.
Unfortunately, the longer he resisted Buffy’s and Giles silent demands the harassment was only going to get worse.
Then he stiffened abruptly, straining to hear…was that a door slammed downstairs? Shit! He scrambled hurriedly under the sheet as he heard stumbling footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Boy in da bed?” he heard his father slur and began his silent litany of pleas and prayers: please let him go straight to bed…please God, let him forget he has a son…please God, don’t let him be mad...please don't let him have had a bad day at work…endless pleas that all too often fell on deaf ears and were never answered. Resulting in heavy skin-breaking blows with that long belt.
“Yeah, the lil bashard been up der alls day,” his mother muttered drunkenly before chortling at something his father did to her.
“Lil bashard betta get a GODDAMN JOB! I ain't payin’ for no fuckin’ freeloader,” the senior Harris roared and punched the wall. And in his bed, huddled under the covers Xander waited with terrified eyes. Once again reduced to a scared six year boy.
By day six, Xander was almost ready to give them whatever they wanted. He was so damn tired. He hurt in so many places and with bruises to match. It had gotten so bad at school that now he refused to go down the stairs if there was someone behind him. Especially after some anonymous person had almost managed to push him down the flight of stairs. And yet somehow, not one teacher ever saw a thing.
Condoms fell out of his locker, used and unused. ‘Fag’ and ‘cocksucker’ were written on numerous slips of papers and shoved into his locker, falling around him like confetti whenever he opened it. He almost had a heart attack when his mother yelled that he had someone on the phone. Thinking it was Willow or even Buffy calling to say they were sorry, he had ran down the stairs eagerly, only to slam the phone down again at the filthy, vicious words spewed from the other end. Then came the screams of laughter from the boys in the background. And his mother was steadily getting more pissed at the escalating calls, unfortunately being a recipient of one herself.
Then to see his name and phone number scrawled on the bathroom wall and written below ‘For a good time call Xander Harris, the cocksucker’ he had almost lost his lunch. He fled school for the dubious comforts of home, silently enduring his mother’s drunken rage and slaps before he was able to escape to his room.
He couldn't go anywhere at school without something, someone hurting him. On the way to school, rocks and used condoms were flung at him; he was slammed into the boys’ bathroom wall so he made sure never to visit any of them no matter how urgently he needed to go.
And he just…he couldn’t…he didn’t want to do what they wanted him to do, he just couldn’t! He wasn’t gay but if he did THAT with Angel, then he would be gay so he couldn’t do it but he had to do it if he wanted to be safe again. He knew that if he did...if he did what they wanted that it would stop, and he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. But since he wasn’t gay, maybe the one time wouldn’t be the same as being gay so if he let Angel…do THAT to him it wouldn’t really mean that he was gay? Would it?
And Cordelia, coming back from a couple days in Vail almost didn’t recognize the thin, haggard boy he had become when she passed him in the hall.
“Xander…?” she half whispered, stunned by the changes of only three days. The white translucent skin, the nervous twitching eyes as if afraid of some unseen spirit, and considering that they lived on the Hellmouth, she was sure that it was entirely possible. Then her eyes narrowed on Buffy and Willow at the other end of the hall. The guilty look on Willow’s face, the cool look on Buffy’s face as they gazed at Xander, who had frozen at the sight of them. And she saw the tremor that seemed to ripple through him before his head shook and Buffy’s face became even harder before she grabbed Willow and walked away. And she almost missed the worried look Willow threw over her shoulder as she was led away from Xander. Then all three were lost in the crowd of students passing between her and them.
Whatever was going on, those two little bitches had something to do with it, and I’m gonna find out what it is. Nobody but me has the right to torture him, she thought grimly, stalking in the direction she saw Xander take.
But to no avail.
Exiting behind the school, Xander groaned and tried to run back through the door.
Too late!
And then they were on him, pushing him, shoving him brutally into the brick wall. Laughing at him, jeering as he fell to the harsh unforgiving cement surface with a stifled cry of pain from a heavy shove. And he felt the skin on his cheek scrape painfully against the ground.
He tried to get up and felt a foot come down hard on his behind, shoving him back down with a whoosh of escaping air. Gritting his teeth and ignoring the mocking, sneering faces surrounding him and he tried again to escape. Then, to his horror hands were fumbling at his pants, clawing at skin, pulling them down and he tried even more frantically to escape….
“Hey Harris, is that why you wear baggy pants? Makes it easier for you to take it up the ass, huh?” chortled one of the large boys encircling him, holding him down as he begged them to let him go.
Xander flailed about desperately, trying to get away as he felt his pants tugged to his knees and in numb disbelief he tried to deny what he knew the laughing crowd were going to do...
And never in his life was he more happier to hear Principal Snyder’s nasal voice screaming at everyone.
Sobbing for breath, he got shakily to his feet…only to meet Synder disgusted eyes.
“Understand this, Harris! The law says we have to let your sort into school but that doesn’t mean that I have to tolerated your disgusting practices. And if I ever see you behaving in such a fashion, corrupting decent God fearing boys with your filthy perversions, then not only will I have you expelled from this school but I’ll have you banned from every school in the county. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!”
“But you…can’t….you don’t believe that I…” Xander tried to say, feeling sickness rise in his stomach.
“I know what I saw!” Snyder snarled into the boy’s face. “You on your knees with your pants halfway down your legs! Now get to class,” he harshly said and watched the kid flee with dark satisfaction. Then a nasty grin crossed his face as he marched back into his office. And pulling Xander's file, he called the boy’s father at work explaining exactly what he had seen and the consequences to Xander should he ever witness such an event on school grounds. Adding that perhaps the parents should look into a private school for their son.
There was an almost harsh silence at the other end before Mr. Harris responded. “I’ll take care of it and see that it doesn’t happen again.” After he had hung up, Snyder wondered about the look of terror in the child’s eyes, then shrugged it off. Mr. Giles had assured him that the boy was becoming increasingly unstable.
Xander ran home, struggling to control himself. He almost wished that he had given in to Giles and Buffy’s demands. The silent treatment was working extremely well, he giggled almost madly. Wasn’t he the one that told Jack that he liked the silence? Oh God, what was he gonna do? What was he gonna do? And he fell on the his bed, tears at last falling down his face.
There was no way that he could do what they wanted and hold his head up. But he also couldn’t take the hostile silence and their accusing eyes or the harassment anymore. And battered by the whirling emotional storm, the attempted rape at the school he cried himself to sleep.
And PAIN lashed him to full consciousness! Unrelenting pain flailed at him and he fell off the bed, curling up in a ball as searing agony flickered on his back. Again and again his back, arms, and legs felt the harsh caress of the leather belt his father brought down on him. He heard the hoarse panting words of fury his father kept shouting at him, “No, good faggot! I’ll beat it outta ya.”
Then the belt was abandoned in favor of a tried and true methods of punishing his son: fists.
For the first time in his life Xander tried to fight back, tried to defend himself. But he was fighting a loosing battle against both his father and that terrified little boy crouching in the corner of his mind. Whimpering in fear and trying desperately to protect himself from Daddy’s mad.
And finally Xander gave up, when something broke within him, that shattered into pieces as he simply curled up in a ball as fists and kicks thudded into his sides, legs and any part of his body left unprotected. Then the room was silent except for the senior Harris' harsh breathing.
“That’s probably why ya been hanging with those fuckin' girls all the time, cause ya ain’t nothing but a little pussy yerself! Well, not here and not in my house ya fuckin’ piece of shit! I shoulda beat ya outta ya momma when she first told me she was knocked up. I didn't want no damn snot nose lil brat running around behind me.”
He wiped his nose with a beefy forearm then pointed a thick finger at his cowering son. “But I’m gonna make a man outta ya if I hafta break every bone in yer fuckin’ body. No son of mine is gonna be some goddamn little fairy. I kill ya with my bare hands before I let that happen.” He turned and stomped out of the door, slamming it behind him.
And Xander simply layed there, in the corner, as he struggled to breath past the agony in his body, in his soul before inch by inch he gradually straightened himself. And nearly blacked out from the pain he felt in his back and sides. But slowly, as tears of pain fell unnoticed down his face, he made it to his feet. And with robotic remoteness, he lurched to the bathroom, pushing the pain back…far back into his mind. Holding on to the wall for support, he stepped into the cold enameled tub.
But no trace of pain showed on his pale face, frozen in shock. Right now he was beyond pain, beyond caring of everything. He just only wanted it to end.
He just wanted it all to...stop.
And with bemused eyes, he watched as the bloody water gradually became clear as pain slowly began to work itself from his tight stranglehold and back into his throbbing body. He whimpered through clenched teeth at the burning in his body from the belt and realized that he was only seeing out of one eye. Touching his cheek gingerly, he thank God that tomorrow started the weekend. He could rest.
Then by Tuesday, he would be safe from Buffy, from Giles…from everyone.
Harmony came running up to Cordy as soon as she drove up mid-morning on Monday at Sunnydale High.
Barely allowing the dark-haired girl to get out of the car, she exclaimed, “Did you hear what happen on Friday? Of course you didn’t you left early.” Harm laughed easily, moving back as Cordy swung her legs out of the car.
And strutting up the stairs, the high priestess of fashion attention was caught by Xander slowly coming up the sidewalk to the school. But there was something about the group of boys eyeing him that made Cordy…uneasy for some reason and she just wished that Harmony would shut the hell up! She eyed the stiff way Xander was walking...and what was up with the shades? Disturbed, she changed course to intercept him, remembering what she wanted to ask him on Friday and left Harmony with her mouth agape to tell Cordy her fascinating news. Huffing angrily, she scurried behind Cordy whose as long legs swiftly closed the distance between the fashion maven and Xander.
“Anyway, Buffy apparently beat Xander up Friday. Word has it that she caught him trying to put the moves on her boyfriend,” she chortled happily.
And Cordy froze. “Okay, now I KNOW that whoever is starting the rumors is lying. Xander would sooner see Angel permanently dead…HEY you leave him alone!” she screamed and took off running to help Xander up. Gentling her helping hands when he cried out hoarsely, and abruptly remembering the last them he said he threw his back out. Glaring all the while at the assholes that pushed him Xander and threw a poisonous, contemptuous look at Buffy, Oz and Willow who stood watching the whole thing.
“You low-browed, inbred, motherhumping bastards! You want to fuck around with someone I suggest you start with the Three Stoogies over there!” she yelled, pointing furiously at a suddenly angry looking blonde slayer.
“Yeah, that’s right, you dumbass bitch! Some of us actually use our brains and I know damn well that your lame asses is behind all of this shit!”
“Shut the hell up Cordy and stay outta this!” Buffy snarled, striding forward as finally Cordy got Xander to his feet.
“Or what?! Whatcha gonna do, huh? Tell me, Buffy whatcha gonna do out here in broad daylight, with all these people around, huh? Yeah, I thought so!” And she smiled nastily at the frustrated rage on the Slayer’s face.
“And you, you little red-headed slut! You’re supposed to be his best friend! Let me guess, Buffy told you to treat him like shit and voila! You eagerly went along with her stupid ass idea like always, didn’t ya? God, you’re disgusting! I bet if Buffy told you to lick the shit outta her ass, you’ll have your face so far up there that’ll it be stained brown!
“Cordy don’t…” Xander voice was weary and he just wanted to get away from the gathering crowd.
“You don’t understand…” Willow whispered painfully, with tears in her eyes.
“Understand?! What the fuck is there to understand?” Cordy screamed at Willow despite the warning growl from Oz. “Xander is your friend. F. R. I. E.N. D which is something that your big brain shouldn’t have a problem spelling or understanding. BITCH!” With that last hiss of rage, she pushed her way through the crowd carefully towing the injured boy. Very much aware of Giles storming towards her and Xander with a furious expression. And with a sinking feeling, she knew that whatever was going on, he was involved too.
“Ms. Chase, you will report to Principal’s Snyder’s office immediately! Xander, you will report to the library AT ONCE!” Giles shouted as he finally reached them..
And Cordy flicked a glance behind the furious Watcher…
…to Buffy with a look of smug satisfaction on her face…
…to Oz’s whose lip was curled in a vicious grin…
…to Willow with her nervous, worried eyes...
Then her eyes lifted to the horrified gathering of Cordettes.
“Let me go, Cordy…” Xander pleaded quietly. Cordy twisted to look up at him and her eyes widened, his shades weren’t nearly dark enough, she thought distractedly.
“Xander honey, Mr. Kinnison doesn’t like shades to be worn in his class,” she replied absently still studying his face…and the bruised skin barely visible on his left cheek.
“That’s okay, I wasn’t going to be in his class anyway.”
“I’m waiting Ms. Chase,” Giles said coldly, his arms folded sternly.
And Ms. Cordelia Chase, without a flicker of regret burned her bridges. “You can kiss my Gucci ass, you English, tweed loving bastard. Now fuck off!” Then she carefully steered Xander to her waiting car, leaving a dangerously enraged Watcher behind.
“Where too…? Or are we doing the Thelma and Louise bit, cause I’m am so NOT driving my car off a cliff!” she stated emphatically as she peeled out of the parking lot.
“And you know that I want to know what the hell is going on, right?” she added, driving recklessly through downtown Sunnydale.
“Take me to the mansion,” Xander replied softly, leaning against the cool window and closed his eyes in quiet despair.
“Mansion? What mansion? You know somebody that lives…” and she broke off, remembering exactly who Xander knew, who they knew lived in a mansion…
“Take me to Angel.”
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What sound does a heart breaking make?