Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Eviscerate Me, My Love	By : jsu1660n Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Buffy > Angel(us)/Buffy Views: 8796 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I receive no profit from this fan fiction.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Part IV.
The following morning found Buffy awakening to pain all over her body. Without looking, she knew that the wounds on her back had sealed, but it was still tender to the touch. Her wrists and ankles were sore. Her hips were bruised. There was a painful ache between her thighs. Surprisingly, however, she was not naked, shackled and lying on a bare mattress as she was before she lost consciousness. She wore one of Angel’s shirts and lay in a fully made bed. Her room was back to normal as if she had not been tortured bloody by her love’s demonic counterpart. If she didn’t know any better, she would think that Angelus was finally starting to care about more than getting between her legs.
But that was wishful thinking…as well as dangerous.
At school, Buffy moved around slower than normal. She sat up straighter as if afraid to let her back touch the chair. She knew that she would be completely healed by nightfall or at the very least early morning. Sadly, her strange behavior did not go unnoticed by her two very worried best friends.
In English, her teacher who picked random students to stand before the class and recite their 250-500 word prose called on her.
“The first time Elizabeth looked in his eyes that rainy night, she knew he was no longer her Heaven. He called himself Hell. He was the opposite of Heaven in every way. He was evil. He took pleasure in her misery. He hated her. He hated her because she brought Heaven happiness. Happiness that Hell could feel long after Heaven departed.
“Elizabeth never wondered why Heaven had changed from the wonderful man she fell in love with the instant she met him. She never had to. Hell always told her, ‘you released me, my innocent Elizabeth. Deal with it.’
“And so she did. She watched Hell pretend for her family and friends that he was still Heaven. She stood by his side, recited her lines and gave the greatest performance of her life. Elizabeth kept telling herself that with time and maybe divine intervention, Heaven would return to her and they could forget what had become the darkest period of their lives.
“Heaven did not return and Elizabeth soon found herself falling deeper and deeper into Hell’s clutches. She was fighting a losing battle trying to stay away from him. Every time they touched, Elizabeth felt the consuming shame of betraying her Heaven, but even that was not enough to make her stop.
“Hell knew her every weakness. Sometimes at night when there was no hope and Heaven’s lingering memory was no longer enough to comfort her, she gives him what he wants. She gives him the one thing she promised only Heaven would have. All the while, he whispers, ‘if only Heaven could see you now.’
“As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Elizabeth realized that her Heaven would never return to her. She knew that she could not go on. Together they would destroy each other and everyone around them. Elizabeth knew what she had to do, but her heart still ached for her lost Heaven. Destroying Hell meant that she would destroy Heaven and any chance she had of ever seeing him again.
“In the end, Elizabeth was weak. She allowed Hell to consume her, destroying everything that was good about her and everything she loved. She had no friends. She had no family. She had nothing but Hell remaining by her side. Death was a sweet release.”
Buffy wouldn’t allow herself to look upon the stunned faces of her classmates. She knew what they all thought of her. She was just another stupid blonde with a penchant for trouble in their eyes. Instead, she focused her attention on her teacher who could barely string together a coherent sentence.
“Buffy,” her teacher gasped with wide eyes. “That…that was just…wow!”
The bell rung, and Xander and Willow made their way over to Buffy as she packed her books into her locker almost in a daze.
“Hey, Buffster,” Xander said, nervously. “That, uh, story – great story by the way – that wouldn’t be an over-identification of your Soulless Dead Boy situation, would it?”
Buffy smiled softly. “Of course not, Xander. Angelus would never want me like that.” She walked away with a heavy heart leaving her friends in a bad way.
“That wasn’t the answer we were looking for, was it?”
“No, not at all,” Willow sighed. “I think it’s time to call a meeting. Buffy’s in trouble.”
~…*…~
While Buffy battled a surprising surplus of minions in the cemetery that night, the Scooby Gang, along with Ms. Calendar, sat in the library. They were mostly discussing Buffy’s unusual behavior as of late.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Ms. Calendar said, trying to cover for her.
Angelus stood outside the doors listening in on their panel discussion. He could hear the slightest tinge of desperation in the gypsy’s voice. It amazed him that the others could not ascertain the loyalty she exhibited for his Slayer. Then again, they were not exactly the brightest bunch when it came to reading between the lines. The gypsy’s loyalty brought back fond memories of Angelus torturing Buffy for her betraying their secret.
“It’s not nothing, Jenny,” Giles sighed. “She’s been distant and…”
“Edgy,” the ever-annoying Xander supplied.
“Right, edgy. You wouldn’t know because she doesn’t talk to you,” he declared, inadvertently wounding his lover.
Angelus scented her pain and chuckled. Although it was pleasing in its redolence, none was as delicious as Buffy’s pain.
“Well, Giles, you know how Buffy is. She swallows her emotions and tries to focus on what’s best for everyone else,” the witch-in-training reasoned. “Whatever’s going on, it’s most likely about Angel, or rather the lack of. We should just give her time.”
He could sense the Scooby Gang agreeing with the redhead’s logic. No. He couldn’t have that. Fortunately, the Witless Wonder spoke, giving him the perfect opening.
“Am I the only one who finds it annoying that Dead Boy is still causing trouble even when he’s MIA?”
“You know,” Angelus said, making his presence known. All eyes shot to him. At once, the Scooby Gang was on their feet hedging towards the back of the library. The level of fear skyrocketed and Angelus took a moment to savor it. “Being the only human in this room who hated Angel as much as I did, you would think I might like you better, Xander.”
Xander laughed nervously and everyone seemed to take a step back. All except for the brave gypsy who seemed to know his intentions. Her eyes begged him not to do it. She should beg. The Slayer’s little group of bandits would never be able to stomach the truth. And that was what he was counting on. Angelus answered her begging with a depreciating smirk.
“What can I say? Likeability amongst the undead has never been one of my strong points.”
“Hmm, I can tell.” He vamped out when Giles attempted to shoot an arrow from Buffy’s favorite crossbow. He caught it midair and smirked. “Your aim is a little rusty, old man.” He tossed the arrow back, narrowly missing impaling Giles’ shoulder. “Janna,” Angelus said, plucking the flower from the vase on the checkout desk. “You’re looking well. How’s the family? I wonder if they’re as tasty as your dear departed uncle was.”
Ms. Calendar’s fear dissolved and her dark eyes hardened. “Still recovering from your devastation, Angelus.”
He smirked. His yellow eyes almost glowing in his amusement. No one else in the room would dare use his real name. The fact that he bore the face of their familiar, tortured Angel made it easier to forget the demon behind the face. “You have guts, Janna. I’m sure they would look lovely on the floor.”
“Now see here!” Giles said, taking a step towards him.
“Rupert, don’t!” Ms. Calendar said, restraining him.
“Going to defend your woman from the Big Bad, Ripper? I suppose you should be of some use seeing as how you have completely failed in watching your precious Slayer.”
“If you’ve done anything to Buffy…” the boy threatened.
Angelus giggled, picking petals off the flower one by one. “What haven’t I done to her?” he smirked, pretending to think. “Actually, we have yet to try exhibitionism.”
“What exactly do you want, Angelus?” Calendar questioned quickly before the others could process what he was saying.
But Angelus was not that easily deterred. “Protecting the little Kitten, are we?” he said to her. “Hoping to get back in her good graces so that she can forgive you for taking away Angel, and by extension, Ripper won’t feel like a betraying bastard for returning to you?” the Scooby Gang stared at him almost blankly. “Christ, how does she put up with all of you?” he said, rolling his eyes – a habit, ironically enough, he picked up from the Slayer in question. “Remember the night I was released? The night your precious Buffy fucked the soul right out of me?” he paused for a beat, only long enough to take in their anger, fear, and dread. “Well, let’s just say that night never truly ended.”
“No,” Giles whispered.
“She wouldn’t,” the witch shook her head.
“I don’t believe you,” Xander declared as he toppled his chair in all of his righteous anger.
Angelus scented the boy’s jealousy and chuckled. “Well, of course you don’t, Xander. Because that would mean that your sweet little Buffy not only chose a vampire over you, but willingly spreads her legs for me, the Scourge of Europe. And all you have is Cordelia, who may look like a pretty package, but is as cold and empty on the inside as a dead fish. Fucking anything that moves for the attention because Daddy can only be bothered to give her his credit card just to keep her away. Fathers can be such bastards. I was very happy when I ate mine,” he sighed nostalgically. He scented the girl’s restrained tears and whispered conspiratorially. “And FYI, from the way she was all over Angel’s cock, he could have had her anytime he wanted. But then again, why would he? The lingering stench of multiple semen deposits is a big turn off.” And it was. There were many instances when Darla’s touches made him want to vomit.
The boy struggled in the Watcher’s arms and Angelus found himself looking forward to killing him. But at the last moment, Ripper gained strength and pushed the struggling child towards the back of the library, ordering him to stay there.
“And why should we believe you?” Giles questioned, feeling nowhere near as confident as he sounded. “Buffy hates you.”
“And I her, but when the dust settles and you’re in a fight to the death battle and your ex is staring you down with a stake unable to close the deal, consummate hate is more entertaining than love on any day. She even let me torture her.” Angelus paused as the Watcher alternated between appalled, furious, and disbelieving. And the others were not that far behind. “But don’t worry – she got off on it.” Angelus felt the tingling in his veins. He inhaled deeply, scenting her as his face shifted back to human. “And here’s the woman of the hour now.”
Just as he said, the double doors to the library swung open. “Sorry, I’m late. I…” her eyes fell on Angelus and all false cheer and friendly feelings went out the window. They stood a little less than a foot apart, gazing at one another. Neither moving. Neither blinking. Neither breathing. “Angelus,” she said both worried and excited.
“Hello, lover,” he said, smoothly. In just a few steps, he was before her, circling her like a predator ready to devour. “Rough night?” he said, taking in her appearance.
“Your minions,” she mumbled, looking down at her feet. She suddenly felt irrationally self-conscious over her appearance in his presence. “What are you doing here?” she said, shaking it off.
As they spoke in seemingly friendly tones, neither seemed to be aware of her friends staring, shocked and betrayed.
“Oh, just having a quick chat with the old gang,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear, smirking as she leaned into his touch. Normally, he was not so tender and caring with Buffy, but they did have an audience to perform for.
The sound of glass cracking broke their intense standoff. Giles stood, angrily cleaning the cracked lens of his glasses. Buffy visibly flinched from the anger that she had never seen directed towards her in her Watcher’s eyes. Xander’s lip curled in sheer disgust as he watched her disdainfully. Willow was too stunned to have any solid feelings at the moment. Cordelia was upset and staring aimlessly at her hands, still thinking of Angelus’ cruel words. And Ms. Calendar was even more remorseful than before.
“Please,” Buffy said. Her wide eyes meeting Angelus’ mocking gaze. “Please tell me you didn’t.”
“I did,” he confessed, feigning regret.
“Why?” she questioned, her voice bordering hysterical. “Why would you do this?”
“Because you make me so happy that I just want to shout it from the rooftops,” he said, breaking off into a tickled laugh. “Okay, even I couldn’t keep a straight face for that one!”
“Then it is true.” Buffy could hear the accusations in his voice. She could not bring herself to meet his eyes. “Look at me!” he yelled as she flinched. Reluctantly, Buffy met her Watcher’s disapproving gaze. “Is. It. True?”
Buffy couldn’t say the words. Angelus saw his golden opportunity and like a true predator, struck. He took her face in his hands, crushing his lips against hers. The kiss was forceful and dominant and Buffy’s arousal quickly overpowered any scent in the room. Her hands gripped the counter, cracking it a little, as she fought the urge to draw him closer. Her left leg came up and hitched slightly around his waist. She moaned into his mouth as he ground his hardened cock against her belly. He pulled back all too soon. His cruel smirk and mocking eyes were like cold water thrown in her face. And she knew immediately that she had crossed the line.
“I destroyed everything,” she whispered, overcome with self-loathing.
Angelus basked in her misery. “Things will never be the same for you,” he agreed. “But just remember. When the friends are gone and there’s no more family left to eat, you still have me. The demon that’s going to kill you.” Hot tears fell from her eyes and Angelus sensed that she was closer than ever to begging for the death he promised to her. He leaned over, catching one of her teardrops on the tip of his tongue. “Still so innocent,” he sighed. “We will work on that.” He drew her in for a harsh, short kiss before pushing her away. “Until next time, lover.”
Unsurprisingly, Angelus left Buffy alone to face the proverbial music. She had hoped against hope that he would at least remain in the building. That she would at least have the feel of his presence to give her strength to face the diatribe she was about to suffer. But she felt his presence receding further and further away until she could not feel him at all. Wringing her hands, Buffy turned to face her friends. She stood there watching them as they watched her. No one seemed to know what to say. Giles, who had finally stopped cleaning his glasses, focused his hard, viridian colored eyes on her, and said only one word. “Explain.”
Buffy looked down at her hands again, grimacing as she realized that she had forgotten to remove her Claddagh ring. Explain. He was asking her to explain the unexplainable. “I…” she opened and closed her mouth several times. In the back of her mind, Buffy had prepared herself for this exact type of scenario. Each time her argument was better than the last, but now that she was actually faced with the anger, disgust and disappointment of her friends who were like her family, she could only say, “I can’t.”
Xander laughed harshly. “Well, why don’t I take a stab at it? Hmm.” He scratched his chin, looking towards the ceiling as if he was actually thinking. “I got it!” he said, smiling without any trace of sincerity. “You’re so desperate for Dead Boy, who might I remind you is NEVER coming back,” Xander ignored the pain that welled in her eyes to continue his rant. “That you’ll crawl into bed with a vicious, soulless killer! I bet if he came back in here and tried to kill us all you wouldn’t even lift a stake to help us.”
“How can you say that, Xander? I would never let him hurt you. Hurt any of you!” she said, begging them to believe her.
“Right,” he scoffed.
“Xander –”
“Don’t come near me,” he said as she began to come towards him. “Wouldn’t want your lover thinking I was getting too close to his whore.”
“Xander Harris!” Ms. Calendar gasped, angry and offended over the boy’s careless remarks.
“Don’t stand there and act as if you aren’t thinking the same thing.” He turned back to Buffy and she winced at the cold anger in his eyes. “While you were tumbling in the sheets with a murderer, did you stop to think once about all of the innocent people he kills every night that you allow him to live? Did you stop and think about us and how we would feel when he came to taunt us about it?”
“He said he wouldn’t…I didn’t know he would do that.”
“How could you not? For all of the bastard’s faults, lying isn’t one of them. He will always tell the truth as long as it hurts someone.”
“Guys, I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Of course you didn’t. You just missed Dead Boy so much you pathetically started fucking the demon that has his face,” he bit back harshly.
“Is that your honest opinion or jealousy coloring your judgment, Xander?”
“It used to be,” he admitted. “But now that you’ve been with him, I would rather cut it off before touching you with it.”
“That is enough, Xander!” Ms. Calendar said furiously.
“It’s not nearly enough.”
“Buffy needs our support. She doesn’t need you attacking her now of all times.”
Xander stared at his teacher incredulously. “Support? You want us to support her conveniently looking the other way while Soulless Dead Boy and his henchmen decimate half of Sunnydale’s population because the Slayer is too busy spreading her legs for him?” he yelled.
“What is wrong with you? Is that all you see when you look at Buffy? A Slayer? The Chosen One?”
“That’s what she is.”
“Yes, Xander, and underneath that is a seventeen-year-old girl who lost the love of her life in the worst way possible.” Buffy lowered her eyes, unable to withstand being defended so avidly. It was the last thing she deserved after all that she had done. “Yes, she could have handled it better,” she glared, as Xander scoffed and muttered. “But the situation stands. And Buffy doesn’t need you hurting her anymore than she already is.”
Listening to the uncomfortable silence in the room, Buffy glanced up hoping that by some small chance Ms. Calendar’s impassioned words had made an impact on Xander’s view. “My god,” he said, a thin smile forming on his lips. “You knew. You knew all along what was going on between them, didn’t you?”
At the same time Buffy yelled no, Ms. Calendar said yes. Willow looked stricken at the thought of her best girlfriend revealing her secret to their teacher rather than her. Giles laughed humorlessly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is just brilliant!”
“Rupert –”
“Let me guess – you kept her secret because you thought it would make up for letting her kill Dead Boy when she gave him the ‘big happy,’” Xander said, carelessly as they both winced.
“I did what I thought was right.”
“You interfered where you should not have,” Giles declared, casting his furious eyes on her. “You have shown no respect for the relationship between my Slayer and me, and once again, you have withheld vital information from me – the person you claim to love,” he said softly.
“Giles, please, it wasn’t like that! She…” but meeting his harsh gaze, Buffy lost her voice.
“Does anyone believe in trust nowadays?” Xander asked, shaking his head.
“This isn’t about you and your hurt feelings, Xander,” Ms. Calendar said, her face flushed in anger.
“No, of course not. It’s about you trying to atone for the first set of lies you told by covering them with even more secrets. I honestly don’t know which of you disgusts me more right now.”
“He said he tortured you,” Giles said, interrupting their bickering. “And that you allowed him to do so. Was that true as well?”
Buffy felt everyone’s gaze on her awaiting her answer. She lowered her eyes, nodding.
“This is getting sicker by the minute. Cordy, do you want to go home?” the brunette had sat with her arms around her for the entire argument, not daring to look anyone in the eye. She nodded and allowed Xander to wrap his arm around her shoulders, desperately needing his comfort. “Will?”
The redhead stood, gathering her bag. Just as she was about to pass her by, she felt Buffy’s small hand on her arm. She flinched involuntarily and Buffy drew her hand back as if burned.
“Willow?” Buffy said in a small voice.
Willow raised her disappointed eyes to her friend, looking at her as if she was a stranger. “Oh, Buffy…what would Angel say?”
Those four little words hit her harder than any of Angelus taunts or Xander’s insults.
What would Angel say?
Her friends left. Giles and Ms. Calendar stared at each other in silence, saying more with their eyes than their words ever could. A few moments of staring later, Ms. Calendar sighed and grabbed her bag. She approached Buffy and waited for the girl to meet her eyes. When she finally did, Ms. Calendar shivered. She was frightened by the pain and defeat reflected in Buffy’s eyes. Acting on impulse, she pulled her into a hug. “I’m going to fix all of this for you, Buffy. Please don’t give up.”
Buffy nodded numbly. With one last look at Giles, Ms. Calendar walked out leaving them alone. Giles refused to look at Buffy as he went inside his office. Wordlessly, she followed him inside. He folded his arms across his chest, not bothering to mask his fury.
“I’m sorry, Giles,” she whispered.
“I am ashamed of you.”
Pain flared in her chest at the harsh statement. She was prepared for him to declare that she had neglected the duties of her Calling. Or say that she was playing with her life as well as the lives of those who cared for her. She would have even accepted him lashing out as Xander did. Anything but saying he was ashamed of her.
“I’m sorry,” she said when there was nothing else left for her to say.
Almost an hour later, Buffy twirled around on the ice in the rink. Her movements were swift and graceful, yet filled with pain. Memories that she struggled to bury began to consume her.
The music started to play and Buffy twirled, closing her eyes. She felt his presence coming closer. She slowed to a stop, holding her hands above her head. She felt him behind her, his large hands sliding up her bare arms. Their fingers entwined and he brought them down, crossing her arms with his over her stomach.
~ More beautiful than words could say…They said it wouldn’t work but what did they know…? ~
Buffy closed her eyes, sighing as Angel pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show,” she confessed.
“And miss seeing you prove that you should be here rather than off in some dark cemetery destroying demons? Not a chance.”
She blinked away her tears, leaning further into his embrace. “You always know just what to say, Angel. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, resting his chin on top of her head. “Plus, how often do I get to see you in a skirt so thin?” he teased.
~ As I stand here before my woman…I can’t fight back the tears in my eyes…Oh how could I be so lucky…? ~
“Next time you can act out my fantasy and wear the tights.” She blushed and closed her eyes. “Tell me I didn’t say that aloud.”
He laughed softly. “You did.” He turned her around, taking in her flushed cheeks and lowered eyes. Angel held her chin, gently lifting her head. “Never feel afraid to tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Then I suppose I could say that even in my dreams I never believed that I could be as happy with someone as I am with you? That my day isn’t complete without even a glimpse of you? And…my life wouldn’t have any meaning if you were no longer in it?”
~ It took us a lifetime to find each other…It was worth the wait because I finally found the one…Never in my dreams did I think that this would happen to me… ~
Angel’s deep brown eyes shimmered as he stared down at her. “Well, if you said that, then I would say that for the two centuries I walked this earth…I never believed in true love or soul mates. Until you proved me wrong. My Buffy. My beloved.”
She held him close, putting all of her devotion, all of her love into her kiss. There had never been perfect moments in Buffy’s life. There were good ones. Bad ones. Even tragic ones. But this one moment, in Angel’s arms as they finally acknowledged their feelings for one another, was the first perfect moment in her life.
~ Oh how could I be so lucky…I must have done something right…And I promise to love her for the rest of my life…~
Tears fell from her eyes as Buffy stopped skating and leaned against the wall of the rink. Everything that seemed so hard and complicated at the time was so easy now. There was no deep-set shame and betrayal in her heart. There was no Angelus. Their time together on the ice was their first perfect moment and Buffy knew without a doubt that it would never happen again.
With her skates in her hand, Buffy returned to her house. “Mom?” she called out. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a Dr. Pepper from the fridge. “Mom?” she called again. It wasn’t late, but it wasn’t early either. Her mother should have been home. On the counter, she found a bag of unpacked groceries and a letter beside it with her name written in her mother’s handwriting. Fear coiled in her belly as she opened the letter.
Dear Buffy,
While you were gone, your history tutor Angel was on the lawn waiting when I came home.
Buffy swallowed hard, feeling the coil of fear tightening.
He kept going on about you and was determined to see you. His exact words to me were ‘I haven’t been able to sleep since the night we made love.’
“No,” Buffy whispered, clutching the letter, almost crumpling it.
Buffy Anne Summers, just when I thought things were changing. I thought you couldn’t go any lower than when you were with Pike. Do you even know how old this man is? Do you care? Is he the only one you’ve been with?
With each question, Buffy felt worse about herself than she ever had.
I don’t want to know. I’m leaving for a couple weeks. I’m afraid that if I wait for you to come home, I will say or do something I would later regret. There’s money in the emergency jar to get you by.
The cold, detachedness of her mother’s ‘voice’ hurt more than anything else.
Just when I thought you couldn’t disappoint me more, you manage to surprise me once again.
Joyce.
Not Mom. Joyce.
Buffy thought she couldn’t cry anymore, but then this happens. Why had Angelus done this? Telling Giles and her friends was one thing, but telling her mother? Why? Did he enjoy her torment this much?
He’s a soulless demon. Of course he enjoys your torment! ‘Angel’ ranted in her mind.
She suddenly felt the awareness of his presence trickling over her. She squeezed her eyes shut as his taunting voice called to her. “Dry those tears, lover. You should only shed them for me.”
“Get out,” she said, not turning around.
“We both know you don’t mean that, Buff.”
“I do.”
“Because if you did,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “You would have already rescinded my invitation.”
“It’s not too late.”
“But isn’t it, though?” he approached her slowly, taking in the burgundy sweater dress and black tights she wore. He knew she had gone ice-skating. He wished he could have watched her glide across the ice so effortlessly, her eyes proving that she was alone in her own world. But he had more pressing matters to attend. “Your friends, your Watcher, and now your mother have all abandoned you. Written you off as a lost cause,” he said, playing on her already mounting insecurities. “I’m all you have, lover.”
She felt his cold hands against her skin and shivered in spite of it all. He sniffed the air appreciatively, drawing her back into him. She moaned lightly, feeling his hard cock grinding into her. His hand slipped down her stomach. He went between her thighs, rubbing her blazing cunt through the very thin material of her tights. She gasped and panted, arching into his hand. He could feel the overflow of wetness beneath his fingers.
“Stop,” she said, struggling in his embrace. “Stop it!” she tore herself away from him. She met his cruel, dark eyes. “You don’t get to do this, Angelus. You promised me that you wouldn’t tell anyone about us. You promised me!”
“No, I believe I said as long as you play by the rules I would keep your dirty little secret,” he corrected.
“And I did! I did everything you wanted. I gave myself to you whenever you wanted me. I even let you torture me for god’s sake!”
“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it, lover.”
“Fuck you.”
“Well, that is the idea.”
“It’s over. This – this – whatever the hell this is between us stops now! You’re a sickness to me, Angelus. You’ve spread and destroyed everything in my life and I know you won’t stop until you’ve made me into something unrecognizable even to myself. And I won’t let you do that. I won’t.”
Angelus chuckled darkly. “Listen to you! Quite the backbone we’ve suddenly gained in the last few hours, Buff. What was your tipping point? Couldn’t have been the boy. Whatever he said it was only out of jealousy. Was it Willow? Sweet, little Willow disappointed by her idol? No, no it was The Ripper,” he guessed. “The only true father figure in your life ashamed of your slatternly behavior. Am I right?” he said with an excited sparkle in his eyes.
“You went too far, Angelus. If I ever had any hopes that there was still the Angel I love somewhere inside you, you proved me wrong tonight. The next time I see you it will be to kill you. Leave.”
He lunged for her. He grabbed her hair, yanking her head back as she cried out. “What have we said about making false promises, lover?”
“Let go of me,” she demanded, pushing him back.
“That’s not really what you want.”
“It is!” she insisted.
“Yet the call of your pussy tells a different story.”
She slapped him, hard, reacting to his crude words. The impact was enough to loosen his hold slightly. Buffy tried to get away, but Angelus squeezed her wrist, relishing in her pained whimpers. He growled, drawing her into him. His mouth crashed against hers, making her lips bleed. Even as she struggled against him, Buffy felt her body reacting to the familiar dominance of her cruel lover.
He pulled back, staring into her shimmering hazel eyes. He silently dared her to fight back. With swollen lips and wide anguished eyes, Buffy whispered brokenly, “destroy me.”
Angelus growled savagely, intent on fulfilling her request. He grabbed her thighs, wrapping them around his waist, slamming her into the wall. She moaned against his mouth, hating that she loved the pain he gave her. He carried her to the dining room. She faintly heard the plates and glasses shatter against the floor as he cleared the table. She was too far-gone, too lost in the sensations of his tongue caressing her in the only gentleness he was willing to provide her.
Buffy registered Angelus setting her on her feet and detaching his mouth from hers. She whimpered from the loss of his addictive kisses and let his forceful hands turn her around and push her face first onto the dining room table. Buffy placed her hands flat on the table as her heart pounded in her ears. She felt him kick her legs apart. He tore her tights and underwear off with one hand and lowered his zipper with the other.
Without warning, he thrust his hard cock into her soaking cunt. He held her hips in an almost shattering grip, forcing her still. She was helpless to only take his thrusts and call his name, “Angelus, Angelus, Angelus,” as if he was her god. And in some ways he was. He maneuvered Buffy and friends like they were chess pieces. He was the source of her fears. The demon she knew would ultimately end her life. And now it seemed he was all she had left.
She felt his nails digging into her hips drawing blood. The pain of his nails and the hard edge of the table pressing painfully into her pelvis coupled with his hard thrusts brought her undone as she screamed his name.
He followed soon after, filling her with his come. With his softening cock still nestled inside her, Angelus leaned over her. He stroked her hair almost lovingly as he whispered, “tell me again why you’re not my whore?” Angelus heard her sharp intake of breath and felt her tremble beneath him. He pulled out of her and stepped back to watch his come seep out of her. He felt her misery and self-loathing as he scented her tears. He watched her slide down to her knees and made no effort to comfort her. Why would he? She was so beautiful in her sorrow. He leaned over her and grabbed her chin. Tears fell from her hurt hazel eyes and he was more than a little disappointed that she wasn’t wearing that eyeliner that streaked so tragically when she cried. He captured her lips in a soft almost loving kiss. A mockery paralleling the brutality of their fucking.
He left the Summers house with an air of ease and lightness. He was reluctant to leave his Slayer when she was so distraught. His cock beginning to harden again at the thought of delighting in her wonderful misery, but he had an appointment with a crafty little brunette.
Angelus found her in her classroom. She was so entranced in her translating of the Soul Restoration Curse that she had yet to acknowledge his presence. He took a seat in the back of the classroom. He could sense her excitement. Not just because she was desperate for Ripper’s forgiveness, but because she held a genuine concern for his Slayer. She knew better than any other human in this town what Angelus was capable of.
*“That’s it!” she exhaled, both relieved and excited. “It’s gonna work! This…will work.”
Angelus remembered enough about computers from that week his counterpart spent learning any and everything he could about their functions to know that she had saved the information not only in the computer itself, but on that yellow disc she clutched almost reverently. He kept his eyes trained on that yellow disc. If he made the slightest error of letting it slip away, his reign of terror would end all too soon. She started to print the restoration spell, still blissfully unaware that he was in the room. He was almost insulted at her casual dismissal…then again Angel seemed to inspire that sort of mindless dedication wherever he went, he thought, rolling his eyes scornfully.
Her eyes suddenly glanced up, spying Angelus’ relaxed demeanor. “Angelus!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet.
“Finally!” he said with a huff. “It’s not nice to ignore your elders, Janna,” he said, wagging his finger.
*“How did you get in here?”
He scoffed, unintentionally rolling his eyes. Buffy really was a negative influence on him, he thought with a deep scowl. “Is fear crippling our memory, Janna?” he said, mockingly. “We are in a public school. No true ownership clause. Not to mention that Angel has been here on more than one occasion. But to play advocate to your devil…*I was invited. The sign in front of the school… ‘Formatia trans sicere educatorum,’” he recited, his Latin flawless.
*“Enter all ye who seek knowledge,” she translated, as if he couldn’t see her carefully inching towards the door.
*“What can I say?” he laughed, rising from the desk. “I’m a knowledge seeker.” Angelus slowly made his way towards the frightened gypsy. “Why Janna, you’re shaking. Is something the matter?” he smirked.
“Angelus, I-I-I…”
“I-I-I what?” he mocked. “You want to apologize to me for what your people did to me – cursing me with a filthy soul? Making me behave like a pathetic, simpering human?” he said, his eyes growing darker with each accusation. “Do you want to apologize for not telling Buff about the pesky happiness clause in the curse?” he laughed suddenly. “I only wished I could have seen her face when she realized. Was she sad? Did she cry?”
“She was devastated,” she whispered, recalling the first night Angelus confronted them and the next morning when Buffy accused her of conspiring to hurt Angel, with frightening clarity.
Angelus sighed almost longingly. “To have been a fly on the wall for that encounter…so, I hear, you went shopping at the local boogedy-boogedy store. You can’t buy redemption, Janna,” he tsked, shaking his head. “Lord knows Angel never let me forget that.”
“He’s with you now, isn’t he?” she whispered.
“Who?” he smirked.
“Angel. You kept him with you, didn’t you?”
“Why, Janna, you flatter me. As if little old me would have that kind of power. He forgives you, you know,” he said, suddenly. “He forgives you for your role as the supporting lead in hurting his beloved…and he’s begging me not to kill you.” He savored the fear dancing in her eyes as remorseful tears trailed down her cheeks. Angelus picked up the Orb of Thesulah, watching it light up in his hand. *“If memory serves, this is supposed to summon a person’s soul…from the ether…store it until it can be transferred.”
“But Buffy wants…” she trailed off as Angel’s dark eyes met hers.
“Do you honestly expect me to simply stand aside while the soul steps in and takes her from me?” he said, in a deceptively calm voice.
Her wise eyes widened as the revelation hit her. “You love her.”
No sooner had she said the words, was she sprawled on the floor, clutching her face after Angelus harshly backhanded her. She looked up at him, shocked and afraid. Her cheek throbbed and she could feel the side of her face starting to swell.
“Sorry. Kneejerk reaction to the whole L-word thing.” He shivered disgustedly. “You see,” he said, sitting on the edge of her desk. “Feelings and sentiments and gross mushy things were Angel’s style. I dominate. I possess. I destroy and manipulate, and leave carnage in my wake. But I do. Not. Love.”
“I think he protests too much,” she muttered.
Angelus chuckled, his enhanced hearing picking up her words. “Ah, Janna, you might actually be kind of fun to have around for a couple years.” Angelus took a moment to savor her fear as understanding dawned in her eyes, before lunging for her throat.

~Lyrics~ Bruno Mars – Rest of My Life
*Convos between Angelus & Jenny taken from ‘Passion’ episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2.
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Eviscerate Me, My Love