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Reviews for The Magic Pencils

By : christinaboone

From BakaMazoku on February 12, 2010
I really enjoy the Magic Pencils and am eagerly awaiting part 2 of Better Dead than Red. Also kind of curious as to what sort of outfit Faith will end up in to make the Mayor happy. Will this be a "One Good Day" fic for the Mayor where he doesn't get blown up?
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From ToughLove on February 09, 2010
Really not keen on the poop, but liked the Mayor - Faith convo, and Willow's humilation.

Oh and just a thought, if you're bringing Catherine into it, one would assume you're going to bring Amy?

How about giving Faith a consenting partner? Anya would probably love what she's doing, seeing as she's only
recently human. And Amy had a serious edge to her, later in the series.

One person I wouldn't consider using is Tara, I just don't see her doing anything to raise Faith's wrath.
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From Oric13 on January 25, 2010
The plot thickens!
And Queen C becomes the bitch of her "Cordettes" and gets used as a toilet brush holder! Bet she didn't see that coming :)
So I really enjoyed the first two parts of this chapter, but the last part was... strange.

That little heart-to-heart conversation seemed like a good idea, and it started out OK, but then it kinda drags on. And then suddenly the entire story comes to a screeching halt as Faith starts babbling about anagrams for no apparent reason.
I really didn't see the point of this. First of, it probably took you at least an hour of valuable writing time to try to come up with usable anagrams you can make from the Scoobies' names, but you only really managed to make something that (kinda) make sense out of Willow's name. Case in point: "And, Cordelia Chase is 'A Sored Chalice'", she boasted. Really? Not much to boast here, IMHO.
If I were the Mayor I'd seriously consider sending Faith to a good shrink at this point, or just run away really fast ;)

Anyhow, overall a pretty good chapter.
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From KJakkano82 on January 17, 2010
Saw the added glamor to the collar so that Buffy experiences the humiliation while no one can really see her, cool.
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From KJakkano82 on January 16, 2010
This was a fun chapter. You gave us a look at what Willow, Giles and Wesley are doing. Then you present what Cordy is going through. I especially liked how you went inside her head and showed us her suffering from her perspective. The final part with Buffy I thought was a problem initially because the football teem should have blabbed everything all over school but then I realized that this is probably a Friday night game. Willow, Giles and Wesley will not find out until Monday but by then it will be too late. It did seem odd that Faith would put her sex slave at risk of being arrested for public indecency by going across town naked however.
On another note I think I caught Faith's meaning in her anagram of Willow's name.
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From ToughLove on January 16, 2010
The scene with Cordy and the Cordettes was great. However I can't wait to see what Faith is going to do to Harmony for snubbing her when she was out with Harmony. Very inventive and twisted story. I'm getting great ideas reading this!
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From Oric13 on January 07, 2010
Are you going to write the Willow/Buffy school striptease chapter, or should I do it from your awesome and detailed synopsis'?
Unfortunately, I'm still attempting to finish a chapter of one of my own stories, so it'll probably be several weeks before I would finally get around to writing this Willow/Buffy school striptease chapter (and several more weeks to finish writing it).
Considering that would really hold up this series, it's probably best if you write it.
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From christinaboone on January 06, 2010
Thanks Oric13, yeah I don't like the scat either but I thought it would make it even more disturbing, which I guess it did. The plot is being a tricky wee bugger, but I got to try haven't I.

Are you going to write the Willow/Buffy school striptease chapter, or should I do it from your awesome and detailed synopsis'? Either way is cool with me, but your plan was way better than mine so I think this is the way it is meant to be.

As for where I'm taking this? Ain't got a clue, but it's gonna be a fun ride finding out ;D

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From KJakkano82 on January 06, 2010
Wow. You went further than I thought you were going to. I was not expecting to see you take it into Mental Age Regression territory. I though would just make Dawn sexual aroused by and take pleasure in being treated that way. Most people with a fetish still have a regular life outside of it after all and it could have made Dawn more useful later. Still it worked out well. It just seems to contradict the fact that Faith wanted Dawn to have to feel the compulsion to to be treated that way yet at the end she might as well have made her an infant. I guess I was sort of hoping to see AB Dawn at home and DL Dawn at school. Oh well, it is still the most well thought out chapter yet. I hope you put good detail work like this in the rest of it.

A little historical problem I noticed however. Facebook and Youtube do not exist yet, nor do cellphone cameras. This is 1999 after all.
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From Oric13 on January 06, 2010
Heh. Faith sure put a lot of effort in humiliating poor Dawnie - the youngest Summers got it worse than the others!
Although Buffy and Joyce got their own share of public humiliation along with Dawn.
Making Buffy Dawn's wet nurse, and letting lil baby Dawn go on a ponyride on her own freakin' mother (in front of the whole neighbourhood!), was some really inspired stuff.
Not a big fan of scat myself, but it did make the whole thing even more twisted.

And then... lo and behold: some actual plot peeking around the corner! ;)
I'm really happy to hear that you're gonna take some time to properly plot this series 'cause I do enjoy a bit of plot with my smut.
I also liked that at least Giles was smart enough to figure out that something is very much amiss in Scooby-land.
I'm curious to see where you're taking this.

Well done.
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From ToughLove on January 05, 2010
Ah, Dawnie's fate was sick and fun.

Looking forward to whatever you've got planned for the neglectful Watcher.
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From KJakkano82 on January 03, 2010
Just noticed to re-edited chapter. It fits together much better now. Still looking forward to the Dawn chapter.
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From christinaboone on January 01, 2010
Ok, I've got my bud No Refund to put up a thread on the forum to discuss things.
I hadn't actually thought about the long term plot of this fic, it was meant to be a short dumb and fun thing without boundaries, but seeing as people are actually liking it (which I really am shoocked by) maybe I should actually try and put a storyline in it.
Thanks for all your encouragement, it really means alot to me guys.
xx

The thread is here --- http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=13730

((And yes, I'm fecking gutted at losing chapter 4. It may take a few days to try again.))
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From Oric13 on January 01, 2010
No mater how crazy it is the story should have some kind of internal logic to hold it together. I might be a good idea to plan out how you are going to bring other characters into the story so that in makes some sort of sense. For example Lila Morgan could be sent by Wolfram & Hart to investigate what happened to the Slayer on the Hellmouth rather than just have Faith pick her for no apparent reason.
I wholeheartedly agree with this.
I know that it might seem fun to just go wild and throw Faith together with any kind of character and situation that people come up with, but if a story ceases to make any kind of sense (even a kinky smutfest such as this) then I for one quickly loose interest.

Sorry to hear about that you lost that Dawn chapter, by the way. If something like that would've happened to me, I'd be REALLY demotivated.
Not that long ago, when I was writing you a review, I wanted to look something up with GoogleSearch bar but unfortunately the Google search results appeared on the same tab where I writing the review, and when I clicked on the back button, everything I'd written was gone :(
That alone was already a huge downer.
So I don't know what I would do if I lost an entire chapter of a story... probably run around the room screaming my head off before weeping in despair :P
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From KJakkano82 on January 01, 2010
I was not expecting that. Interesting. I can see how Xander would go along without a mental fight. I wonder how he will think when he sees Willow or Cordy though. Looking forward to the real chapter 4. I hope you have sufficient knowledge of the fetish to do it justice. It seemed like the perfect idea for Dawn. Your comment about having something delicious in mind for Tara makes me wonder if it is deliciously good or deliciously evil.

Two comment I want to make are that I think you made a mistake in this latest chapter. You have Faith pull everyone into the picture yet she never uses the "Yagsigicam" to have them all leave it. They should have all returned to the alley where this chapter started at the end of it then sent Rosie off and take Xander back to the former Summers home for his rewarded. The other thing is the bringing in of people from outside the season 3 setting. If you are not careful you could ruin the story. No mater how crazy it is the story should have some kind of internal logic to hold it together. I might be a good idea to plan out how you are going to bring other characters into the story so that in makes some sort of sense. For example Lila Morgan could be sent by Wolfram & Hart to investigate what happened to the Slayer on the Hellmouth rather than just have Faith pick her for no apparent reason.

I have a request for you. Would you post a thread for this story on the site forum to make it easier to discuss ideas.

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