The Great Perverted Game

BY : Archer
Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Threesomes/Moresomes
Dragon prints: 18896
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any intellectual property contained within this fan-made story from which no money has been made.

I want to start by saying that many authors before me have done the 'fictional character realizes he is trapped in a video game' motif and that Tattle Tail has alread done so in the Buffy verse with Per-Verse.

Two main things inspired me to write this story:

1) I saw the following comment from Tattle Tail on another site about being discouraged, "if i can write this stuff, anyone can... yet there is a distinct lack of anyone even trying.”. I've done a lot of Buffy story reading, but only a little writing, so this is me trying.

2) This comment from Oric13 "This would make for an awesome BtVS game." I have some experience with creating text games, so when I set about writing this I did it with the intention of creating a system that actually could be made into a Buffy game that would allow the player to control Xander and interact with Sunnydale.

Anyway on with the story.


First Turn


Bad news, Champion.

Xander rubbed his eyes as he looked at the message and tried to remember where he was. Last thing he remembered he was…well, he couldn’t actually remember the last thing he had been doing. It was like his memories were jumbled together without order. He didn’t even remember how he had returned to the Sunnydale library or why he was looking at a computer monitor.

“Buffy? Willow?” he called out. There was no reply. He tried to move, but his legs wouldn’t respond. Everything around him felt oddly frozen.

“I really hope this is a dream,” Xander said as he looked back to the message.

Bad news, Champion. We regret to inform you that the world has come to an end. We, the forces of good, have lost.”

“Shit, not a dream,” Xander cursed. It wasn’t that the world ending was an unusual subject matter for his dreams just that it normally didn’t come in text form.

However, we do have a slight bit of good news. A glimmer of hope. Should you succeed at the following task then the world will be restored. As a Champion, we are sure you have been in this position before.

“Buffy?” Xander called out again. “Anyone heroic?”

When there was no reply he looked back at the screen. As a condition of the Apocalypse Gambit Treaty 7000 B.B.C.E, in the event that the forces of evil should ever be victorious, one champion shall be chosen and granted one final opportunity to preserve the world. Should that Champion be victorious, then time will be reset, and Armageddon averted. The Champion shall engage in the Great Game with a scenario chosen to maximize his chances.

“The Great Game? I hope it is comic book trivia,” Xander whispered.

In simple terms: the Great Game allows players the opportunity to challenge a reality that is more attuned to their desires. As such, to maximize your chances, you have been given a Pervert Reality Scenario. Good luck and please click start game when you are ready to begin.

“Uh, what?” Xander said as he looked over the screen. “A Pervert Reality? What’s that…and should I be insulted? Are there instructions or something? Anything?”

The computer did not respond and the world just stayed completely silent. He still couldn’t move his legs. With nothing else to do he clicked start game and got ready for the world to suddenly change.

Please enter your name.

“Okay, not world ending,” he said as he typed in ‘Xander Harris’.

Are you THE Alexander Lavelle Harris?

“Well, this is an easy question,” Xander said as he clicked on the yes button.

“Would you like to import your character data, play as another existing character, or create a new character?”

“Not an easy question,” Xander said as he looked over the other names. They were all male and he recognized some like Angel, Spike, even Giles, while many of them he had never heard of. He hovered over the ‘create new character’ option; he didn’t exactly have the best history and didn’t think he qualified as a Champion. With the world on the line he was really tempted to choose someone more suited for this or at least start fresh.

He decided against it and clicked import character. He had been chosen for this. It wouldn’t be right to back out of that.

Initializing game….Please wait….



Please wait, still initializing…

“How outdated is this computer?” Xander murmured as he just watched dots appear on the screen.

World has been created. Based on your character selection and some random changes the initial game construction is:

Party: Willow (Permanent Friend)

Unaligned: Buffy (not met), Angel (not met), Fred (barely known)

Enemies: Cordelia (Rival), Drokken Beast (Monster)

Setting: High School

Event: Friend Cornered

The world suddenly seemed to start moving around Xander again. It is now your turn.

He heard the sound of flipping pages and looked up to see that Willow was sitting across from him at the table, reading a text book. He hadn’t heard her come in; it was like she had just appeared in the chair.

“Will?” he asked, hoping that she would respond like his friend and might be able to help him out.

“Hey, Xand,” she said, before going back to her computer.

“This might sound strange,” Xander began, “but is something weird going on?”

“Like what?”

“Like the world ending?”

Willow opened her mouth to respond, when everything suddenly froze and Xander was immediately drawn back to looking at the computer.

Error! Do not try to speak to characters about the end of the world and/or the game. One action point lost! Resetting.

“This might sound strange,” Xander heard himself say, “but is something weird going on?”

“Like what?”

“Uh, nothing, never mind,” Xander murmured. “Can you help me with this computer?”

“What computer are you talking about?”

“The one right in…” Xander stopped as he remembered the warning message he had received. It probably wasn’t it worth it to try and push things anymore. “You know what; I think it is best if I figure it out on my own.”

“That’s a very good attitude, Xand. I keep telling you that you can be successful if you just believe in yourself.”

“Right, believe in myself,” Xander said quietly so that Willow didn’t hear him.

Xander looked back at the screen. The monitor had the image of a board with Willow closest to him, the characters that had been labeled as unaligned in the middle, and enemies on the opposite side.

He looked to what had been the last thing that had come up, ‘Friend Cornered’. Nothing else made sense to him at the moment, but a friend in trouble was something he was going to react to.

He clicked on it and the board disappeared and a message appeared:

Friend Cornered!

Willow has been cornered by Cordelia and other girls from school. Intervene before they can unleash their verbal barbs.

Effect: If event remains at end of turn, -50 Willow happiness, -15 Party happiness

Remove Event?

This wasn’t even a hard choice for Xander, he wasn’t about to let Willow get hurt. He clicked yes.

What approach do you take?

100: Insult

750: Flirt

50: Deflect

20: Joke

+100: Goofy

Xander wasn’t really sure what the numbers meant. Remembering his fights with Cordelia in the past he decided to go with the top choice: insult.


Xander picked up his pace as he saw Cordelia and her friends had Willow cornered. As he got closer he could hear that Cordelia was making fun of Willow’s clothes.

“Not everyone can pull off hooker wear,” Xander said as soon as he reached them.

Cordelia’s eyes narrowed as she tried to stare a hole straight through him, “What did you say?”

“I’m just saying you dress like a woman who is begging the entire world to fuck her in the ass, for a reasonable fee.”

Xander could see the change in color in Cordelia’s face, but she was temporarily stunned so he took Willow’s hand and quickly moved away. It wasn’t over between him and Cordelia, but at least Willow would be out of it now.


Xander’s hands reached out and grasped the table: he was looking at the monitor again. After he had clicked insult he had totally lost control of his actions, but what had happened had felt more real than it felt to sit in front of the computer.

“Are you okay?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, just…give me a moment,” he said as he took a deep breath. This wasn’t just a game. What he clicked happened, not just to others, but to him. The memory of insulting Cordelia felt the same as every other memory he had of her. He knew it had been created by the game, but that didn’t change how it felt.

He looked back to the computer and there was a new message:

You helped out your oldest friend by insulting Cordelia so viciously she didn’t know how to respond:

-35 Cordelia like

+20 Cordelia respect

-10 Popular like

+5 Popular respect

+2 Student respect

-15 Teacher respect

-10 Willow happiness

+15 Willow attraction

+25 Willow arousal

You have taken one step on the path of ‘Bully’

The screen took him back to the main page and he began to nervously survey his options, “I am going to have to be a lot more careful with this.”


“I think I’m beginning to understand,” Xander mused as he looked over the screen. While the layout with the characters on it seemed like the most important, a sidebar contained what felt like some of the most important information.

Player: Xander Harris

Turn: 1

Actions: 3

Points: 400

Big Bad: None

Vampire Presence: Meager

Sunnydale: 100%

“That seems to be the universal information,” Xander thought. “I used one action and lost one action, so I must have started with five. If I remember correctly, insult had a hundred next to it, which probably corresponded to the points. I have no idea what the Sunnydale number means, but 100% sounds good.”

Xander moved the mouse over the screen. He could click on any of the names and some of the other icons on the screen, but he didn’t want a repeat of the Cordelia incident when he was dragged into something he wasn’t expecting.

Like Xander often did when he was in trouble, he turned to Buffy.

Name: Buffy Summers

Race: Human

Status: Unaligned

Characteristics: Student, Good, Popular, Strong 3, Fast 2, Superior Senses 2, Supernatural Senses


Slayer: As long as she is in the game vampires are hunted even if she is not part of the party.

Dark Stain: While this character has the good trait, it is possible that it can be removed.

Lonely: Needs a group. She loses happiness for every turn that passes without having a party.

Moody: All happiness loses are doubled.

One and Only: There may only be one Slayer in the game.


First Meeting!

Xander took some time to study the profile, but he wasn’t sure what he could do with it. He stared at the interaction and thought it was probably similar to the event he had triggered earlier. His memory had him meeting Buffy by colliding with her in the hall and then embarrassing himself. If he did it better would that memory be overwritten? What if he did something entirely different?

He knew he would have to meet with Buffy soon and get her as an ally, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it right away. He was about to go back when he noticed that the trait ‘One and Only’ was actually a link. He hesitated for a moment before selecting it.

One and Only: There can be only one Slayer at a time. This may be removed. Potential Slayers will still need to be upgraded.

Remove for 1400 points

“Good to know,” Xander thought as he went back to the main screen. “Let’s see what a rival looks like.”

Name: Cordelia Chase

Status: Bitter Rival

Characteristics: Popular, Student


Gossip Level 3: Every turn that she is a rival she gives a -20 to player’s relation with unaligned Students and -8 to unaligned Teachers.

Bitch Level 3: At the end of each turn she is a rival, -10 Party Happiness

Fast Car:  She is capable of transporting the player and party to a distant location. Cost is 10 respect with unaligned students and 5 happiness of party.

“Geez, those traits are… well, they are actually really appropriate for Cordy,” Xander thought as he clicked back. He was pretty sure he would have to improve relations with her before the turn ended or it could cause long term damage to his ability to build a party.

Not that he was even sure that building a party was the goal, but it seemed like a safe bet.

Xander looked up at the clock. The hands were stuck at twelve and hadn’t moved since he sat down. Willow was still reading a text book nearby and students were moving around the halls, but time otherwise didn’t seem to move.

Xander felt like he still better do something, he somehow suspected that he couldn’t hold off Armageddon just by delaying, so he clicked on Willow.

Name: Willow Rosenberg

Race: Human

Characteristics: Excellent Student, Nerd, Unpopular, Hacker

Status: Friend

Like: Unshakable

Attraction: High

Arousal: Very High

Combat: 0/0/0/15

Happiness: 30

Grades: Perfect


Perfect Students: Her grades can never drop below perfect.

Study Buddy: She provides a +5 bonus to all party members during study actions.

Teacher’s Pet: She provides a +5 bonus to the player with Teachers.

Nerd: Party respect among students -10, +5 with teachers

Insecure: She is uncomfortable with her body/appearance. Romantic options cannot be taken.


Intense Studying

Teacher’s Pet

Lonely Girl

Xander didn’t pay much attention to the stats, without a guide on what they meant it would take longer to figure out. He looked to the actions at the bottom of the screen, intense studying, teacher’s pet, and lonely girl. With Buffy he had interactions and these seemed to be slightly different.  He didn’t even want to think about studying or teachers, so he clicked on lonely girl.

Lonely Girl:

An unaligned good character sees Willow alone and engages her in friendly conversation.

Possible targets: Buffy Summers

Two turns to recover

“Improving things with Buffy couldn’t hurt,” Xander thought as he clicked on it.

+20 Buffy respect

+15 Buffy like

“Well, that was simple,” Xander said as he was returned to the main screen. No cut away experiences this time. “So all that took was an action… wait, no, I can’t click on Willow anymore. I guess that is what it meant by two turns to recover.”

Xander took a while to stare at the screen and consider his options. As he pondered what to do he realized the he could click on his own name as well.

“I have a feeling this is going to be emotionally painful.”

Name: Xander Harris

Race: Human

Characteristics: Poor Student, Unpopular, Cheerful, Good

Status: Player!!!!

Combat: 5/5/0/35

Charisma: Good

Grades: Poor


Romantically Awkward Level 2: Cost to flirt and/or seduce are tripled

Poor Dresser: You don’t understand basic attire, -15 attraction from all girls, tripled for any girl with popular

Brave Level 3: You significantly lower the cost of any action requiring you to face danger.

Goofy: You can solve some events by making a fool of yourself.

Viking in the Sack level 3: You are insatiable in bed. You can go as often and frequently as your partners can keep up with you. All successful sexual action yield increased rewards.

“And yep, disappointed,” Xander said. He didn’t know if he got character points for buying stats or whether it was all random chance, but if it was the former he must have spent almost all of them on Viking in the Sack. Not that it was a bad trait, but his other flaws really reduced the chance that it could occur.

“Hey, Will,” Xander said addressing the person across the table.

“What is it?” she asked as she lifted her head tiredly from the table.

He hadn’t noticed that she had passed out. He thought it might be random, but it was probably an effect of him having used ‘her’ for an action. “What would you say are my best qualities?”

“Well, Xander, you have a lot of … wonderful qualities,” she said nervously, suddenly more awake. “Like, I mean, well, you’re a really good person and funny.”

Xander smiled at her, he knew what stammering Willow meant, “Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem,” she said as she laid her head back down.

Xander looked back to the computer and spotted a button below the profile.


He clicked on it and two names popped up: Willow and Cordelia

“Well, I can’t think of a reason I wouldn’t want to interact with Willow,” Xander thought as he clicked her name.

+20 Willow like

+30 Willow happiness

+10 Xander grades

-5 Popular student respect

“That was pretty easy,” Xander said. He went back to the main screen and he saw that he had only one action left. Not enough time to get back in Cordelia’s good, or at least moderate, graces. He was still nervous about what to do with Buffy. Angel was completely out.

That left Fred. Who was Fred?

There was a half image in his mind about a Ms. Winifred Burkle. She was just out of college and had gotten a job at the school teaching science. He had only passed her in the hall once so he was only roughly aware of her.

Xander could tell that something was slightly off about the memory and that it had been implanted by the game. Still, if she was a character, she had to be important in some way so he selected her.

Name: Winifred ‘Fred’ Burkle

Race: Human

Status: Unaligned

Characteristics: Teacher, Scientist, Hacker, Nerd


Good Communicator: Interactions result in double improvement to grades.

Dark Fate: May be the target of a dark fate card.



Xander selected meeting and was brought to another screen like he was when he selected the Cordelia event.

450: Flirt

200: Dedicated student

50: Joke

0: Regular introduction

Xander remembered the earlier mention of how she yielded double bonuses to grades, so he went ahead and selected ‘dedicated student’.

+50 Xander grades

+25 Fred like

+40 Fred respect

-10 Unaligned Student like and respect

-5 Jock like and respect

+20 Nerd respect

+10 Teacher respect

One step toward ‘Brown Noser’

“So being a good student makes the other students, especially jocks, dislike you,” Xander said as he was brought back to the main menu. The only available link said ‘Next Turn’. “I think I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

Xander clicked end turn and the world disappeared.


“Hey, I’m Buffy.”

Willow looked around trying to figure out who the new pretty girl was talking to.

“This is usually when you introduce yourself back.”

“Oh, uhm, me?”

“Yes, you. What are you doing sitting here by yourself?” Buffy said as she sat down next to her.

Willow felt their knees brush and it sent an oddly pleasurable thrill through her. “I’m not really popular here so most people don’t talk to me.”

“You don’t have any friends?”

“Well, sure. I’m friends with Xander. He’s a great guy. He’s just in class right now,” Willow explained.

“I’d love to meet him, but for the moment, why don’t we be friends?”

“Oh, really? Yeah, sure,” Willow said happily as they started to talk.


“Her name is Buffy and she is new here and she has a stuffed pig and she has a sister, but she’s still in LA and…” Willow rambled.

“You already went through this, Will,” Xander cut her off. “I’m glad you found a friend.”

“You’re still my bestest friend,” Willow said defensively.

“I’m not jealous,” Xander said with a laugh. “Go, be merry, talk and socialize.”

“She’s a really nice person. You should meet her.”

“I saw her earlier I think. Nice legs, good body, cute nose.”

“You’re such a pervert Xand, probably already thinking of sleeping with her,” Willow said with a nervous laugh.

“What guy wouldn’t?”

“Then why don’t you go up to her. I bet she’d look good with her face covered in your cum,” Willow said. Just saying the words gave her a pleasant sensation between her legs.

“Now who is the pervert,” Xander replied. Buffy must have made quite the impression, because while he and Willow were open with each other that was unusually direct. “While it is a nice thought she is way out of my league.”

“You should at least talk to her.”

“I’m sure I will, but it’s not like I’m just going to run into her in the hall.”


“Alexander, I am impressed,” Fred said as she looked over his papers. “While the grade book left by the last science teacher wouldn’t show it, you’ve really applied yourself well.”

“You’re just better at getting the message across. To be honest, it’s still really confusing.”

“It might be, but I admire your efforts, Alexander. You’ve worked really hard on improving your grades. Even if science isn’t one of your natural skills it is good to see you applying yourself.”

“Thanks, and call me Xander.”

“I guess we’re well after school hours, call me Fred.”

“Uhm, really?”

“Yes, I’m only a few years older than you. It shouldn’t be unusual.”

“No, I mean, Fred?” Xander asked again.

Fred laughed, “Short for Winifred. Now, you should head home. I’m sure you’ll want to have some fun before another day of classes.”


“Xander is the absolute worst dick and person in this school,” Cordelia said with practically a snarl in her voice. “Can’t play sports, is stupid, can’t dress, and is an absolute asshole to women.”

“Really?” Buffy asked surprised. “Willow seemed to be okay with him. If he was a jerk to women I doubt she’d be his friend.”

“Yes, he has one friend, though I’d hardly call her a woman. The two losers desperately cling to each other, because what else are they going to do?”

“I take it you don’t like Willow.”

“I’ll tell you this, I might not like her, but Xander will hurt her eventually. Mark my word.”

Buffy nodded as Cordelia moved on and began ranting to another student, something about how Xander was even taking extra classes now to suck up to the teachers. She didn’t trust Cordelia, the popular girl obviously was attacking Xander for personal reasons, but she was worried about the last thing that was said.

And she was not going to let Willow get hurt.


Angel stood in his apartment, silently staring out a window. Something was happening. Something with the Slayer and the vampires in town. He just wasn’t sure what.

It wouldn’t do good to rush out now. He’d wait until he had a clearer picture of what was going on.


Buffy ducked the vampires punch and stabbed her stake through its heart. As it exploded she got a face full of dust and sneezed.

“Okay, fighting vampires I can take, but sneezing and ruining a perfectly good…why am I talking to myself?”

Buffy looked around the empty graveyard. She really wanted someone, anyone, who wasn’t a vampire to talk to.

No, her life was too dangerous. Even if Sunnydale seemed to be a pretty safe place, her experience told her that could change at any time. She couldn’t involve anyone else. She’d do this alone.


Willow’s hand glided over her smooth, freshly shaved pussy as she sat in her computer chair. She imagined what people would think of the nerdy girl if they knew how much she liked keeping her pussy bare. Most people probably didn’t even think she had any sexual urges.

And they were very wrong.

Right now she had porn up on her computer. It had a threesome scene, one guy was fucking a redhead as she went down on a blonde. It had become her favorite type of porn and allowed her to imagine that Xander was fucking her while she ate Buffy’s pussy.

She pushed three fingers into her pussy as she watched. It was hard to find porn with just this combination, but it was what got her hot. In this one the redhead was on her back, man between her legs, while the blonde sat on her face.

Willow could just imagine Xander’s hard cock pounding her cunt as Buffy sat on her face. Just thinking about how exciting that would be made her tremble with need.

On screen the man pulled out and came all over the blonde’s face. “Typical,” Willow thought. “The blonde gets all the attention. I wanted that cum. Though, if I ate it off her…”

Willow didn’t finish the thought as the thought of licking Xander’s cum off Buffy’s face was enough to push her to orgasm.

As she was riding the pleasurable wave she had an image of Cordy walking in on their threesome and she whispering in Xander’s ear, “Fuck the slut’s ass hard.”

She immediately had a second orgasm as she pictured the look on Cordelia’s face as Xander bent her over.

“Fuck, that was good,” Willow said. She never swore in public, but being alone a lot of things were different. “Too bad it can never be like this. I can’t even get Xander to notice me.”

She went to close the video, but decided to bookmark it first. She would need something to watch before going to school in the morning.


Xander took deep breaths as he tried to focus on the computer. Apparently all of his actions had just been saving up until the turn end, and then the actual consequences in the ‘real’ world had hit. It wasn’t just his memories, but getting to look in on others as well. All of the ‘events’ had hit him one after the other, whether he was in them or not, but those he took part in actually felt like he was there, while the others he felt just like an observer.

His mind went back to the last scene and he had to shift his position as his cock was threatening to burst out of his pants. He looked at Willow, but she was asleep on the table, a little bit of drool coming out of her mouth. Very different than the image of her playing with herself.

As he calmed down he thought back through to what he had seen. A lot of what happened wasn’t just different in the order that it occurred, but also how. He and Willow had never talked like that before. They were very open with each other, but not the point that they had frank discussions about sex.

Though he remembered that this was a perverted game. It made sense that if everything was more sexual, and he and Willow were still as open with each as they had always been, then they would be open about their sexual preferences as well.

He didn’t have a memory of her telling him she was a lesbian. Well, he did, from the prime reality, but he didn’t think he had learned it in this one (which he decided to call Game reality). Maybe it was something she was holding back, or maybe something she hadn’t admitted to herself.

Or, and Xander hoped this was true, girls being attracted to girls was just completely normal here.

He stopped worrying about which memories were real, and what defined real, so he could get back to the game. “Okay, that was shocking, but now I think I’m beginning to figure this out.”

Your opponent is ready to take their turn!



I hope everyone enjoyed part one, I’m worried that the meta-gaming (Xander planning his actions) will be too dull, but it is in there because (as I mentioned at the top) trying to work out how it could be written into an actual game.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

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