BY : QueenB
Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Buffy > Angel(us)/Buffy
Dragon prints: 3953
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Title: Humanity

Author: Queen Boadicea


Disclaimer: This belongs to the great and powerful Joss and the usual gang of idi…uh geniuses

Pairing: W/T, An/X


Feedback: Do your worst--it can’t compare to my worst ;)

Thoughts are shown in italics.



Buffy sat up with a jolt. Where the hell was she? She looked around in disorientation, the feeling that generally greets us when we wake up in a strange place. There was rubble all around her, signs of a building collapse--No! Was it Glory?!--and then she glanced down at herself.

Oh. God.

She was naked. Next to the naked body of--


The Big Bad was curled up next to her looking almost like an ang--NO. She clamped down sternly on that idea at once.

But she couldn’t help staring at his face, trying to avoid scanning the other parts of him. In sleep, his face had a curious look of sweetness that she never saw on it when awake. He looked almost innocent. Almost unconsciously, she found herself drawing closer when his eyes abruptly opened.

There was none of the yawning, stretching, shifting or other signs of gradual return to awareness you got from the living. He was just suddenly awake and she had the sneaking suspicion that he’d been so all along and somehow monitoring her movements. His lips curled up in that sardonic smirk she’d grown to know and hate so well and he drawled, “Morning, luv.”

She scrabbled away from him, nearly tripping over her feet, while he watched her completely at ease and obviously amused at her embarrassment. Gritting her teeth in an all-too-familiar feeling of irritation, she started scanning the ruins for her clothes.

“What’s your hurry, pet? I was thinking maybe you’d be in the mood for early morning afters.”

She was determined to ignore him. No way was she letting him get under her skin. There’d been enough of that. Hopefully, her avoidance, her silence and her desperate attempt to get away from him would be signs that she wanted nothing more to do with him.

“What, no good morning kiss? No hugs? You were eager enough last night.”

“That was last night. Now I’m going.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. Didn’t figure you for the love-’em-and-leave-’em type, Slayer.”

No more conversation! That’s what drew you into this mess in the first place. She was fully dressed by this time and glad that he was still naked. Unless he was planning on running into the street like that, it would give her a good head start on him. Perhaps he sensed her intention, because he swiftly moved towards her and grabbed her around the waist.

“Come on, luv, I was hoping for a repeat performance. I know you loved it and I’m ready for some more. Vampire stamina and all that.”

With a quick twist, she wrenched herself out of his grip and knocked him to the floor. “What were you hoping for from me, Spike? Vows of love? Weeping confessions of being yours? Forget it. I had love. You don’t compare. On a scale of one to ten, you don’t even rate a minus fifty.”

A brief flicker of--what? frustration, hurt, anger--crossed Spike’s face before it settled into the familiar lines of bitter sarcasm. “You had no complaints last night. It’s a good thing this neighborhood is relatively deserted otherwise the neighbors might have called the police.”

Secretly, Buffy was glad that Spike had settled on his usual meanness. It made it easier to hate him. Easier to walk away from him.

She turned towards the entrance and Spike made one last ditch attempt to restrain her. “What am I supposed to do here? It’s dawn outside. I can’t leave for hours.”

That’s a relief. Then something he said caught her attention.

Dawn. Dawn. Shit, she’d forgotten about Dawn!

Buffy felt a wave of guilt come crashing down on her. How could she? How could she have forgotten about her little sister to be rolling around with Spike, of all the people? She hadn’t been this irresponsible since--well, since she’d been seeing Angel in secret, since she’d just blown out of town when she’d sent him to hell. She’d thrown aside all thoughts about her friends, her mother, her responsibilities as a Slayer just to wallow in self-pity in another town. She had to get home right away and see about Dawn. She could deal with the Spike problem later.

Spike watched as a myriad of emotions played across Buffy’s face. Somehow he knew she’d forgotten all about him, though he couldn’t figure out what she was thinking about now. He hated that he played so little part in her feelings that she could just dismiss him so easily. “So have you changed your mind, luv?” He put emphasis on that word, knowing how much it would needle her.

He felt a stab of hurt and rage when she glanced at him blankly and replied, “You’ll just have to handle it yourself, Spanky.”


On the way home, Buffy grimly debated within her the night’s events. She needed to talk to Willow. Spike was able to hit her. He’d said that Willow had brought her back wrong; that was the most important thing she had to convey. She didn’t have to tell her about the sex part, did she?

Sure you do. her conscience replied.

Why? she argued back.

Because if you don’t, he will. He’ll pick the worst, most embarrassing moment and spill it in front of your friends.

However, part of her knew--well, was almost certain--that Spike wouldn’t do such a thing. He had a weird code of honor. He wasn’t a welsher, for one thing. He insisted on paying his debts.

Yeah, but he was also a pool hustler, cardsharp, thief and moocher. He’d also implied that his sexual episode with her was just a twisted take on his old Slayer-killing activities. It was just another way of “bagging” a Slayer. No, she couldn’t trust him to keep quiet about it. She’d have to tell her friends and play up the part about his pummeling her and hope they didn’t freak out too much about the wild humping that had followed it.


Willow woke up slowly, stretching softly in the early morning sunlight. She glanced over at the blonde head of Tara resting on the pillow beside her. She thought over the events of the past few days: Tara’s argument with her that she was using too much magic, her subsequent use of magic to erase Tara’s memory of the altercation.

Okay, uh, she knew that was wrong. Like, majorly wrong. It was too much like what Glory had done, tampering with Tara’s mind. But Willow had hated the fight. It reminded her of the argument that had sent Tara fleeing into the fair. Glory had found her and Willow had been helpless to prevent the mad Hellgod from sucking the mind out of her golden-haired lover. Willow was terrified of anything that might separate them again, leaving Tara to the mercy of any of the various demonic forces that lived on the Hellmouth.

Trying to ignore the whispering of her conscience that this was all just a feeble justification, Willow wondered what had woken her. There had been something, some noise… Bolting up, she startled Tara into waking.

“Whuh--what is it, sweetie?” Tara yawned.

“I thought I heard the door opening.” Tara glanced at the clock and blinked in surprise. It was 5:25 a.m., much too early for anyone to be stirring. She watched Willow climb out of bed and hurriedly throw on a robe. Tara shrugged and decided to get out of bed, as long as she was awake.

Coming downstairs, the sleepy girls were surprised to see a tusselled and decidedly stern-faced Slayer standing motionless at the foot of the stairs. Buffy glanced up at them and said, “We need to talk.”

After making sure that Dawn was still asleep, Buffy told them everything. She’d had a long hard talk with herself while walking home. She had made a mistake she had no intention of repeating, but she wasn’t certain Spike would leave it at that. She hoped her friends would be supportive. Still, it was hard to listen to the shocked exclamations of the two witches when they heard the news.

“Buffy, are you SURE that’s what happened? I mean, maybe it was some sort of a spell or a dream or…”

“Are you kidding? She’s nuts!” Tara blurted out.

“Look, guys, I know. Call it temporary insanity or a momentary loss or reason, which I realize is saying the same thing. But could we focus on the important part? Spike was able to HIT me. He says that Willow brought me back WRONG. I don’t know what that could mean but if he’s able to hit me whenever he likes, then I’m in trouble. Maybe Dawn is, too.”

Willow’s eyes widened and a stricken look appeared on her face. “He said you were wrong? The spell was interrupted by those demons while I was casting it and the urn of Osiris broken but I didn’t realize…oh, Buffy, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. All this time, I thought maybe you were just having trouble adjusting to being, well, alive again and you said I’d yanked you out of Heaven but I thought that you’d feel better if we were there to support you and you’d get back in the swing of things by patrolling and taking care of Dawn. I didn’t think…”

Buffy interrupted her friend’s anguished babbling. “Willow, don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have prepared for those demons and you wanted what was best for me. You thought I was stuck in some Hell dimension and you wanted to rescue me. What’s done is done. What we have to do now is figure out just why Spike is able to use me as a punching bag without having his chip zap him.”

“If Spike can only hit demons without being hurt and not humans, that means Buffy must be less than human, somehow.” Seeing the other two girls staring at her in shock, Tara faltered. “I’m not saying Buffy is a demon or anything. Only she’s not quite human anymore so Spike…,” she trailed off unhappily.

“Tara, that’s a horrible thing to say,” Willow gasped.

“No, Wills, what if she’s right? Maybe that’s why this world hasn’t felt quite…right to me since I got back,” Buffy said sadly.

“Buffy, we’re not going to accept that. We need to find out what’s different about you. But we can’t do it with Spike hanging around. We have to get rid of him while we find an answer to this problem.”

“Fine. But I don’t want to make him angry. Spike may still be toothless when it comes to other humans, but he’s still capable of causing trouble when he’s riled. So what suggestions do you have for him?

“Well, you said he’s trapped in that collapsed building, right?”

“Yep, he’s stuck there for the whole day.”

“Good, that gives us time to plan.”


Willow quickly got on the phone and left a message on the Magic Box’s answering machine. Luckily, Xander would be off work and they could meet there later. Buffy said she’d tell them about the sexual episode herself. By mutual agreement, they agreed to keep that part of the night’s escapades a secret from Dawn.


Meeting at the Magic Box, Buffy braced herself for the worst. She’d expected understanding from Willow (after all, she’d slept with a werewolf), but Anya and Xander were a whole other kettle of fish.

Xander had once accused her of sleeping with Spike and she’d hotly denied it. Only the timely appearance of the Buffybot had put his accusations to rest. He’d always been resentful of her affair with Angel and time hadn’t really made him more sympathetic about her relationship with that particular vampire.

Anya wasn’t really a friend but she had been a demon for over eleven centuries. There was no telling how she’d react.

“You had sex with SPIKE?!? I can’t believe what I’m hearing. What were you thinking? With SPIKE?!?”

“Xander, you’re not helping,” Willow muttered.

“It’s not surprising, really. Spike is handsome in a sleazy, bad boy way and he does have a well-toned physique not to mention over one-hundred-twenty years of experience,” Anya offhandedly said.

“Anya, I can’t believe you’re defending this…wait, you think Spike is handsome?” Xander glared at her.

“Well, you were the one who said he had a compact, well-muscled body!” Anya shot back.

“People, could we focus? I need to find out why Spike is suddenly able to knock me into walls and keep me out of his grip at the same time.” Buffy could understand why the news was such a bombshell but she needed help not another episode of the Xander-and-Anya show.

“That’s right. The last thing we need is more Spike-gripping…or whatever,” Xander feebly responded. “Buffy, what should we do?”

“I’ve learned that the one thing Spike hates more than being laughed at is being ignored. I’m going to treat this…sex thing…as if it never happened. You guys are going to do the same.”

“How will that help?”

“As long as it was a secret, Spike could always use the threat of it to force me to…meet him for another session. But if you guys know but pretend you don’t know, he has no power over me. If he does decide to spill the beans, you won’t be taken by surprise.”

“Ooooooookay, I think I’m following your tangled logic, Buffster. But Spike is able to read emotions. How do we pull off this little fakefest?”

Xander had a valid point. Spike could read people’s feelings like books, sense through his keen vampiric sense of smell when someone was afraid, angry or aroused. It made him a master manipulator when it came to using people to his advantage.

“I could cook up a spell that could mask our feelings from him,” Willow volunteered.

Buffy stared at her. “You can do that?”

“Sure. Just as there are truth spells that make it impossible for people to lie, so there are spells that can hide your feelings when you’re trying to create deceptions. All we need are some special herbs, a small incantation with all our names in it and a hiding place for the herb packet.”

“Then we should throw up the de-invite spell to keep him away from me and Dawn,” Buffy muttered.

“Won’t that make him suspicious? I mean, we’re trying to keep him from knowing that we know, right?” Xander pointed out.

“Not if we came up with legitimate reasons for keeping him out. I’m sure we can think of something while we figure out what’s….off about Buffy,” Tara threw in.

“I don’t see why Xander and I have to be involved. I mean, he’s after Buffy, not us,” Anya mused.

“How can you say that, Anya? Buffy’s our friend. That means all of us. If he’s after Buffy, sooner or later he’ll come sniffing at our door looking for her.” Xander couldn’t help feeling embarrassed; Anya’s insensitivity and her less-than-solid connection to the rest of his friends was continually making itself felt at the worst of times.

“Yes, but if all we have to do is lie, I see no reason why we have to devote ourselves to the rest of it. Buffy’s non-humanity is obviously a magical problem. I say, let Willow and Tara deal with it. Specifically, Willow, since it’s really her fault.”

“Spike’s been stealing from the Magic Box, Anya,” Buffy said, her eyes trained on the ex-demon.

There was a moment of stunned silence, then--

“WHAT?!?!” Anya shrieked.

Buffy studied her nails as if the matter were of no consequence to her. “He’s been using the sewer entrance underneath the shop to get in and out and steal items from the store’s basement.”

“Oh, that is it! I mean, we take him in, we keep blood for him in our freezers (which is really unsanitary, by the way) and hide him from those Initiative guys and he repays us by stealing? Willow, how do we throw up the de-invite spell here?”


Spike paced impatiently, waiting for the sun to set. After laying about for a while, he’d decided he might as well get dressed. Buffy wasn’t coming back…at least not today. She’d come to him soon enough, he was certain. Once you’ve had the Spike, nothing else was as good.

Ah, but did she say she loved you?

He frowned. True, the words had been lacking, but the feeling was there, or it soon would be.

Yeah, that’s right, because love ALWAYS follows sex, doesn’t it?

He growled low in his throat, the sound echoing around the empty chamber. He loved her, they were too alike not for her to feel the connection. Deny it she might, but she’d enjoyed what she’d done with him and she couldn’t turn her back on him now. Once a woman had sex with a man, letting him into her life was practically inevitable.

Sex didn’t stop Angel from staking Darla, did it? Sex didn’t prevent Drusilla from leaving you for a Chaos demon, did it? Over one hundred years of killing, shagging, draining victims together and she dumps you for a demon that looks like Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s bastard cousin….

“SHUT UP!!!” Spike roared. He stopped, embarrassed; it just wouldn’t do for the Big Bad to talk to himself like this, to twist himself into knots for a woman and a mortal woman, at that.

But you didn’t reach one-hundred-twenty-odd years of existence without a little self-awareness. He’d loved passionately in his time, and he’d seen it in others. It never seemed to last, and here the feeling was definitely one-sided.

Still, the first seed had been planted. Let Buffy try treating him with the same disdain now that they’d shared bodily fluids and he’d soon put her in her place. She’d definitely squirm if he started dropping hints about it in front of her friends.

Feeling his confidence soaring again, he started grinning to himself while he pictured the looks on the faces of the Scooby gang if they knew what Buffy and he had been doing all night. A few choice words in front of them and she’ll keep seeing me, just to keep me from telling them.

He felt a twinge of dissatisfaction at that. Did he really want to coerce her like that, merely to keep him quiet?

It just shows what a loser you are, that you can’t entice a girl to come to you willingly.

He groaned aloud at that jeering voice in his head and slumped back down into the wreckage littering the floor. It was going to be a long day.


Buffy knew explaining to Dawn wasn’t going to be easy. No, make that lying to Dawn. Actually, it proved easier than she’d thought.

“He HIT you? How could he? That shit!”


“Well, if the shoe fits. He IS a shit. And a butthole and a jerk and a wanker and a…”

“All right, Dawn, I get the picture.” Privately, Buffy thought that she knew where last term must have originated. Dawn was definitely spending way too much time with Spike if she was picking up his colorful phrases.

“But how can he hit you? I thought he couldn’t hit humans without, you know, getting all zapped in the brain.”

“It has to do with how I was resurrected. The spell was botched up when those demons broke the urn of Osiris so now I’m…not quite what I was. Willow and Tara are trying to fix the problem. Dawn, I need you to keep Spike out of the house. Willow has already erected the de-invite spell here. I just need you to make sure Spike can’t get in, no matter what he says to you. Can you do that?”

“Sure, no way I’m letting him in here after what he did to you. But…Buffy, I don’t understand. Why did he hit you in the first place?”

Buffy sighed. She knew this would be the hardest part to explain. The only thing she could do was tell a half-truth.

“Dawn, Spike thinks he’s in love with me. Only I don’t love him and that leaves him incredibly frustrated. Do you know the stories about guys who trail after girls that don’t return their feelings?”

“You mean stalkers?”

Buffy nodded. “That’s exactly what Spike is. Even before I…left, he was following me, sneaking into the house, stealing baby pictures of me, some of my clothes and underwear, standing outside of the house for hours, watching me while I slept…”

Dawn’s mouth twisted. “Ewwwww, I didn’t know that! I mean, ewwww! I knew he had a crush on you and about the following, but I didn’t know he was into that twisted stuff.”

“Remember when I accused you of taking my blue cashmere sweater?”

“Buffy, I told you I didn’t take….” The teenager’s eyes widened as the ball dropped. “Wait, that was HIM?!”

“Oh yeah. I saw some of the stuff he’d taken that night in his crypt when I was zapped unconscious, chained to the wall and he threatened to sic Drusilla on me like a Doberman. He declared his love for me--again. I shot him down--again. I punched him when he tried to grab me and that’s when he started hitting me back. He was really thrilled at the fact that he could hit me. It must be his perverted idea of courtship.”

“I got blamed for taking that sweater! I am so going to give him a piece of my mind when he shows up here again,” Dawn scowled.

“No, Dawn, don’t! Look, he’s got this weird, sick fixation on me and I have to deal with that. But I don’t want him to turn against you. He’s been taking good care of you while I was dead this whole summer. I don’t want that to stop.”

Dawn’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Now you lost me. You want to keep him out of the house but you don’t want him to stop taking care of me? How does that work?”

“We’re going to be treading a very fine line here. I want him to keep looking out for you but I want to keep him away from me. So you’ll find an excuse to keep him out of the house for a few nights while Willow tries to figure out what’s happened to me. So you have to pretend to keep liking Spike while keeping him at a distance. It’s like when a girl likes a boy but she pretends to be cool just to keep him interested. Got it?”

“No. Why would anyone want to play those kind of mindgames? It seems really lame.”

“Dawn, you deceived me on Halloween when you went sneaking around Sunnydale with your friends so you know about telling lies and tricking people. This is just more of the same thing. You don’t even have to do it for long. Just long enough for Willow to get a handle on this.”

“All right, I get it,” Dawn sullenly replied. Geez, Buffy was obviously not going to let her forget about the Halloween incident in a hurry. Like she never got in trouble with a vampire.

“Now Willow has cooked up a spell to keep our feelings hidden from Spike. She’s also working on a few other surprises for him.”



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