Still You

BY : Sophie
Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William)
Dragon prints: 4062
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Title : Still you
Author : Sophie
Part : 1/1
Website : http://www.geocities.com/spikesophiesteph/index.html
Pairing : S/B
Rating : PG-13
Spoilers : General S 6 – starts on Hell’s Bells. Kind of AU after that.
Feedback : I live for that!
Distribution : Yes, just let me know.
Disclaimer : I owe nothing (sob)
Summary : Spike meets an old acquaintance and Buffy has a taste of her own medicine.
Author’s note : For my story I pretended Anya and Xander got married. Normal Again didn’t happen. The rest is pretty much like on the show.
Title and lyrics are from Josh Groban “You’re still you”. Also lyrics from Seal “Kiss from a rose.”
Thanks very much to Heather and Anne Rose for the beta.

“Through the darkness…I can see your light…”

Spike was waiting for his date to come out of the bathroom. ‘What was she doing in
there ?’ He thought, exasperated. Now that the whelp and his ex-demon girl were married happily ever after, he didn’t see any reason to hang out any more. And he was still a little shaken from his earlier conversation with Buffy. He couldn’t believe she had told him she was hurting. And he still couldn’t decide if it was actually a good or a bad thing. Like when she had broken up with him and had called him…
“ William?”
He turned around. It was that girl…Anya’s demon friend. The one that had locked them all in the casa Summers a few weeks ago. He couldn’t remember her name.
“ Hey…”
“ Halfrek.”
“ Right. Halfrek.”
Once again, an odd sense of familiarity came over him. Besides, that girl knew his real name…
“ Do we know each other?” He asked.
“ Yes, we do…but it’s been a long time. I’m not sure you’ll remember me. Can we…can we talk ?
More and more intrigued, he acquiesced.
“ Sure. Let’s go here.”
He opened a door, leading to a quiet library. He closed it behind them.
Halfrek turned around, facing him. Her demon face was gone.
Spike stopped dead in his track.
“ Bloody Hell…Cecily ?

“So, you do remember me ?” Cecily asked, looking pleased.
“ Yeah…very well, actually.”
All his memories of Cecily had been rather painfully reawakened last year during that memorable conversation with Buffy.
“ What are you doing here ?”He asked, though the exact question should have been ‘How did you go from prude Victorian girl to vengeance demon?’
She laughed.
“ I could ask you the same question. Last time I saw you –or rather didn’t see you because you were in a coffin- was at your funeral. You were dead.”
“Well, I still am, technically. I’m a vampire.”
“ Oh…That explains a lot of things…and this interesting outfit…I love the duster, though.”
There was an awkward silence. Confused, Spike had no idea what to say next. Seeing her again, after what? about 120 years…This girl had been his first love. The one that had inspired his best poetry…Uh, his best awful poetry. She was still as pretty, looking maybe a little older than he remembered. But she was also the girl that had rejected him cruelly on this night when his life had changed forever.
“ Cecily…”
“ William…we can’t really talk right now . I have to go back to Anyanka. But I would like to see you again…I guess we have a lot of things to say.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“ Do we ? I thought all had been said and done last century…the ‘you are beneath me’ part was very clear to me.”
A painful look appeared on her face.
“ That’s precisely what I want to talk about. Please, William ?”
He finally agreed.
“Ok then. Tomorrow night. Do you know the Espresso Pump ?”
She nodded.
“ Let’s meet there around 8.00 pm”.
She smiled.
“ Thank you. I’ll see you then.”
She left, leaving the door open. Spike sighed. Bloody women…Like he hadn’t enough problems with one, a second arrived to complicate things a little bit more. Which reminded him…
“ Oh, balls !”
He had completely forgotten the third one…his date. Who must be rather pissed off for waiting so long.
Yep, complicated was definitely the key word.

“ Xander and Anya are going to leave,” Dawn said. “And his family too, thank God for that.”
Buffy smiled.
“ Yeah…Demons are not always the ones who look like demons.”
“Like Anya’s friend…Halfrek. She’s rather nice, actually. Ok, she locked us all in the house, but after all it was kind of my fault…”
Buffy gave her a pointed look.
“…and that’s probably not a good idea to remind you that. Anyway, I saw Spike talking to her. He even disappeared with her in a room for some time…I didn’t know he was into that kind of girl. And Tarantula was mightily pissed off !
“ Who?”
“ His date. I don’t know her real name. But that one fits perfectly, don’t you think ?”
“ I suppose so…”replied Buffy absently.
Spike was bringing a girl and then disappeared with another ? She felt a pinch in her stomach. Oh, not because she cared. No, she was probably just hungry. After all, she hadn’t eaten since…two hours ago.
“ Buffy ? Buffy !”
She snapped out of her thoughts.
“ What ? Sorry, Dawn, I…”
“ You weren’t listening to me,” Dawn accused.
“ Yes I was ! I…”
“ What did I just say ?”
“ Well, you talked about Spike and his date.”
“ No, after that !”
Buffy could see her sister was really angry.
“ I’m sorry Dawn. I wasn’t listening” she admitted, feeling guilty.
“ As usual” said the younger in a bitter tone. “I’ll go find Tara or Willow. At least they listen to me.”
“ Dawn, wait…”
Buffy sighed. She knew her sister was right. She had problems focusing, these last few weeks. And she had thought that breaking up with Spike would arrange that. That she would have more time to spend with her sister and friends. But she couldn’t help wondering about him. What he was doing…where…with whom…
I don’t care about him. I never did. He was just good in bed. Or rather…incredibly amazing…the way he…
Buffy felt a familiar twinge between her legs and gasped. Oh, God. I have to think of something else, and quickly !
“ Buffy ? Are you ok ? You look all flustered.”
“ Tara ! Um…I’m ok. It’s just...It’s really hot in here, don’t you
think ?”
“ Well, actually I was looking for a sweater because I thought it was cold…but maybe you are the hot kind of person…”
She blushed.
“ Not in that way, of course…I mean…”
Buffy laughed and hugged her.
“ I know what you mean, Tara, don’t worry. And I feel better. Thank you.”
“ Oh…you’re welcome.”
“ Dawn told me Anya and Xander were leaving. I think we’re going to hit the road too. I’m kind of beat. Too much emotions…”
And not only from the wedding, she thought.
Tara acquiesced.
“ Dawn’s with Willow. I’ll get our coats”
Buffy headed towards Willow and her sister. Dawn was still clearly mad.
“ We’re gonna go home. Dawn, I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been the best sister in the world lately. I want to make up for that, ok ? Tomorrow, we’ll go to the movie. Just you and me.”
Dawn pondered the idea for a few seconds. She finally made a half-smile.
“ Movie sounds good…Ok. But please, Buffy, try to pay more attention…”
“ I will…I promise.”
Dawn nodded but Buffy could see her sister was not entirely convinced. It was time for Dawn and her to renew the bond they had once shared…

“ Are you done with the training, Buffy ? We’re going to miss the movie.”
“ I’ll be ready in two minutes. Don’t worry.”
Dawn nodded and came back into the shop. It was closed now. But Anya was still there, doing her favourite activity: counting the money she had made during the day.
Xander was watching her fondly. They had decided not to go on honeymoon immediately, so they could save a lot of money and take a beautiful trip someday, to an exotic island somewhere.
“ Hey Dawn! Ready for our capitalism dance ?”
Dawn smiled.
“ No, thanks Anya. Not really in the mood.”
“Oh…problems at school ?
Dawn shrugged.
“No…It’s not important.”
Buffy arrived at that moment.
“Ok; I’m ready. Let’s go.”
She watched the clock.
“We still have some time. It only starts in 20 minutes.”
“ Yes, but I want to see the trailers. Bye Anya, Xander?”
“ Bye girls. Have a good time.”
As they walked on Main Street and passed in front of the Espresso Pump, Dawn took Buffy’s arm.
“Look ! It’s Spike and Halfrek…”
She entered the small coffee shop before Buffy had the time to stop her The last thing she wanted for the moment was to see Spike, especially Spike having coffee or whatever with another woman.
“Hey guys !” Dawn greeted them.
Spike and Halfrek both raised their heads in a perfect unison.
“Hello Nibblet. You’re on your own ?”
“No, Buffy is with me…was with me…here she is.”
A very reluctant Buffy approached the table.
“ Hey Spike…Halfrek.”
It was the first time Buffy had seen Halfrek with her human face, and she hated to admit it but she was a pretty girl.
“Slayer…”
“Hello, Buffy” Halfrek said. “Spending some quality sister-time ?” she asked with a knowing smile.
“We’re going to the movie” Dawn said.
Buffy was trying her best to avoid Spike’s gaze. She had to find something to say. Something to show it didn’t affect her the least to see Spike sitting cozily with another girl.
“I thought you guys didn’t know each other ?” she finally blurted out.
Great. So much for the not-obvious comment.
“Well, we do, actually. We’re like…old friends.”
“Right. Very old friends,” Spike added, with that cocky grin she loved and hated so much. Oh, she wished she could punch him right now to erase that smirk…or better, pour the hot coffee on his most precious parts…though that could provoke irreparable damages…
She realized she was staring at his so-called precious parts, and worst of all, he was staring at her staring at him. She blushed furiously.
“We have to go,” she said, rather rudely.
“Well…see you around.”
“Enjoy the movie” Halfrek said.
“ Bye Nibblet…Buffy.”
Buffy took Dawn’s hand and almost dragged her out.
“ Ok, that was kind of rude” Dawn said. “Are you jealous, or what ?”
“ What ? Of course not ! Don’t be ridiculous”
Dawn looked offended.
“ I’m certainly not the most ridiculous one here.”
Buffy stopped.
“Dawn. We’re here to spend some time together. I don’t want to talk about Spike.”
“ Geez, I really wonder why,” muttered Dawn.
They made it just in time for the movie, but the mood was ruined.

“Well…that was interesting” Halfrek said.
“What ?”
“ The little conversation we just had with Buffy and Dawn…What’s going on between you
two ?”
“ The Nibblet ? Oh, I’m kind of her big bad brother…protect her and all that…she’s a wild kid. I like her”.
“Yes, I noticed that. But I was talking about Buffy.”
He shrugged.
“Nothing’s going on.”
Which was not really a lie. Nothing was going on * anymore*.
“ Let’s talk about you instead” he said, quickly changing the subject. “You said there were things you wanted to explain.”
She acquiesced, taking a sip from her coffee. She seemed to hesitate.
“ It’s been so long ago” she sighed. “I don’t know where to start…how to say this.”
“How to say what ?”
“That…that night I rejected you…in a really awful way, I know…well, that’s because I had no choice.”
Spike frowned.
“What do you mean ?”
“ My father had ordered me to marry Lord Cavisham. Everything was already arranged.”
“What ? That pompous old sod ?”
“Yes. I was furious. Furious because I had to marry a man twice my age, but also because I was in love with another man.”
“Ok, but what does it have to do with me ?”
Cecily looked in his eyes before replying.
“Because that man was you, William. I was in love with you.”
Spike was so shocked he couldn’t talk for some time.
“That night, I was looking forward to seeing you. The problem was my father knew it. He had probably read my journal,” she added with a disgusted look. “ Anyway…He threatened me about you…and I had no choice but to treat you like that…to be sure you would hate me.” She said with a pained expression.
“You sure succeeded in that.”
“I know…when they found your body the morning after…God, I had never felt so guilty in my life. But you remember that period…we girls had nothing to say, no opinions, no life, really.”
Spike nodded, remembering it too. He had just finished absorbing all she had said. There was no way he could have see that coming.
“You shouldn’t feel that way. Right, you hurt me that night…bloody much…but what happened to me then was the best thing that could happen.”
“You mean…becoming a vampire ?”
“ Yep…when I ran out, I went to hide in a barn. That’s where Drusilla found me. Drusilla’s my sire, you see. We were together for more than a hundred years, causing destruction and mayhem all over the world with Angelus and Darla. Those were the good old days,” he sighed. “Then the big Poof got all ensouled and that was over. It was just me and Drusilla…until three years ago, when she…when we broke up. I came back here.”
“Why?”
“ I had been here five years ago, for a short reunion with Angelus. He wanted to destroy the world again, you know, usual routine…but that didn’t suit me, so I teamed up with the Slayer. Our little Buffy, here” he said with a gesture to the cinema where she was supposed to be, but also with a fond smile he wasn’t aware of. “The Slayer and William the Bloody, fighting side by side…quite a sight, I must say.”
Cecily opened her eyes wide.
“ Wait…William the Bloody…That’s you ?”
Spike gave her a cocky grin.
“Yes, it’s me…My reputation never fails me.”
He frowned.
“Only I’m not very bloody anymore…with the chip and all…”
“Yes, Anya told me about that. But I nevenever made the connection…which is obvious now. I heard you killed two Slayers ?”
“True” he said with typical male pride.
“But you didn’t kill Buffy.”
The smile vanished.
“No.”
Fascinated, she looked at the sudden range of emotions running on his face. Love, anger…
“But you could have.”
“Several times.”
“And you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“And I bet she had plenty of opportunities to stake you plain and proper.”
He smiled bitterly.
“More than I can remember.”
“But she didn’t either.”
Ok, the subject was too much Buffy-centred…Not good.
“Nope, she didn’t. Could we…?”
She interrupted him.
“ And are you guys doing other things together besides not killing each other ?”
She saw the look on his face and raised her hand.
“Ok, sorry, this is none of my business. I was just curious because of all that electricity between the two of you.”
“ Well, the electricity ran out of power.”
“ Was she the reason you came back here?”
“No…she was the reason I stayed.”
He seemed to regret saying that, but it was done. Cecily smiled knowingly, though a little sadly.
“A vampire in love with the Slayer…how romantic…and desperate.”
“That’s the exact word. Now, can we go back talking about you ? How did you become a vengeance demon ?”
“Oh, well…As you can imagine, I really didn’t want to marry that old cockroach. Nobody knew this, but I was a little into black magic…I performed a spell to make all his parts fall off…and it worked !”
She laughed out loud at the memory and he couldn’t help but do the same.
“ Yeah, I wanted to perform a spell like that on Angel. Too bad you weren’t around!”
“Well, we shouldn’t laugh, it was very mean of me to do such an improper thing…anyway, that caught the attention of D’Hoffryn. He offered me the vengeance job, and I said yes.
It was much better than the life I was destined to have. Then I met Anyanka and we became friends. That’s it.”
Spike nodded, thoughtfully.
“Well…quite a destiny we both had, huh ?”
She smiled.
“ Yes…does that mean there are no hard feelings on your part ?”
“ For what reason ? I was a bloody stupid wanker and look at me : super-cool immortal vampire.”
He looked casual, but she could see it was just an act. She could almost feel the pain inside him…What had Buffy done to him?
“I’m glad, then. Sometimes I wonder what could have happened if I had admitted my feelings for you…”
He shrugged.
“Well, we’ll never know, right ? And maybe it’s for the best considering what we are now…I guess.”
He looked at the cinema across the street. She followed his glance and felt a pinch in her stomach. It was probably too early to ask him if…
“Are you seeing someone ?” he asked, out of the blue.
“Uh…no. I was, but…we broke up. Bad break- up.” She said.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” he muttered, without really thinking.
Cecily looked at him while he was finishing his coffee. Most of it was clear, now. He and Buffy had probably had an affair, and for some reason, she had broken up with him.
“Do the others know ?”
He looked puzzled.
“Know what ?”
“About you and Buffy ?”
“Hell no ! Miss goody-two-shoes was way too ashamed…”
He stopped abruptly.
“How do * you * know ?”
“I guessed.”
She was obviously waiting for more, but he said:
“Don’t take it wrong, Cecily, but I don’t want to talk about the Slayer. It’s over anyway.”
Far from it, she thought. But I’ll work on that.
She smiled.
“Well, time to call it a night. I had a nice time.”
He smiled back.
“Yeah, me too.”
And he was surprised to see it was actually the case.
“Are you staying in Sunnydale?” He asked.
“A few more days, probably…but not longer, because I’m staying with Anya and Xander, and I suspect Xander wants me out of his hair.”
She laughed lightly.
“We could do it again,” said Spike suddenly. “Having a drink, I mean.”
He was probably as much surprised as her to hear him asking that. But it just seemed the natural thing to do.
She looked delighted. A little bit too much, actually.
“I’d love that. What about tomorrow night ? The Magic Box, we can meet there.”
“Fine with me. Do you want me to walk you home ?”
She smiled.
“Still as chivalrous, I see. No, thank you. They live only a few blocks away.”
“Alright then. See you tomorrow.”
She took her bag and left. Spike paid for the drink. As he was passing in front of the cinema, he saw people coming outside. The movie was probably over. He walked faster. He had no desire to see Buffy. Now it would only be business between them. The rest was better forgotten.
Time to move on with his life.

Buffy couldn’t help but watch at the Espresso Pump when they left the cinema. Spike and Halfrek were gone…separately, or together ?
‘Stop !’ she thought. You broke up with him…it’s over.
Time to move on with her life.

Cecily had almost arrived at Anya’s condo when someone violently grabbed her arm.
“What…?”
“Who is he ?”
She recognized the voice before seeing his face.
“Simon ! What are you doing here ? You followed me ?”
“Who is this guy ?”
“Let me go ! “
She pulled out of his grip.
“This is none of your business ! You and me, it’s over. What part of over don’t you understand ?”
“It was your decision ! I had no say in it ! And my decision is, it’s not over.”
“Don’t be ridiculous ! You can’t force me to date you !”
“Date ? We were engaged !”
“Yes, well, that was a mistake.”
She realized that was probably not the best thing to say to a dumped man, especially one who was pissed off like that.
“Listen, Simon…I know this must be hard,” she said in a softer voice. “But you have to admit it…We’re done.”
“I don’t want to listen to that crap. Next time I see you with him, I’ll kill you.”
He left, disappearing in the shadow.
It’s just a mean threat, Cecily thought, shaken. He just wants to scare me.
But even to her own ears, that was not very convincing.

When Spike arrived at the Magic Box the following night, Cecily wasn’t there yet. But Buffy was.
“Hey Spike,” Anya greeted him.
“Hey Anya…Buffy.”
She watched him, not bothering to answer. She looked clearly upset. With him.
Anya went to the basement and left them alone.
“So…you’re not seeing Halfrek, tonight ?”
Spike smiled. Ok…He got it.
“Jealous, Slayer ?”
She gave him a threatening look.
“Ok…forget I asked.” she sighed.
“ Why did you, then?” he asked with a mischievous grin.
“I said forget it , ok?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, I’m seeing her. We’re meeting here at 8.00.”
“And you’re early. How cute. Couldn’t wait to see her, apparently,” she said, trying to appear detached about it and totally failing.
Spike looked at her. Bloody Hell…she * was * jealous !
Before he could find an appropriate come back, Anya was back.
“What time is it ?” Buffy asked.
“Almost eight,” Anya said.
“Good. I have to get Willow at the…Oh my God, Dawn ! I totally forgot she had a field trip today. I’m supposed to pick her up at 8.15 !”
She put her hand on her forehead.
“Stupid me !”
“If you want,” proposed Anya, “ I can ask Xander…”
“It’s ok,” Spike interrupted. “I’ll get Nibblet.”
Buffy turned to him, surprised.
“I thought you had a date with Halfrek ?”
“Well, yeah. But it’ll take only a moment. I’m sure she’ll understand. And she likes Dawn.”
Buffy seemed to hesitate.
“What’s the problem ?”He asked, rather harshly. “I’m not gonna bite her, you know.”
Buffy realized he had taken her hesitation the wrong way.
“ No ! I know that, of course. It’s just, I wouldn’t want her to think I forgot about her…”
“Which is the case,” Anya pointed out.
“Yes, thank you Anya.” Buffy said.
“I’ll go catch Red, if you prefer.”
“No. It’s fine. Dawn’ll be glad to see you.”
“All right then. I’ll wait for Halfrek to…”
Just at this moment the demon girl came in.
“Perfect timing” Spike finished, with a bright smile to Halfrek, which disturbed Buffy. He had never ever smiled at her like that.
“I have to go get Dawn at her school” he told her. “You don’t mind, do you ?”
“Of course not” she smiled. “I’ll wait for you here.”
Buffy took her jacket and her bag. She felt reluctant to leave.
“I…I’ll go, then” she said. “Thank you, Spike, for taking care of Dawn.”
He nodded, not answering.
She left, soon followed by him.
“I’ll be back in a few,” he told Halfrek.
“Sure.”
He looked at her closely.
“Is everything alright ?”
“Yes, fine. Go, you’ll be late for Dawn.”
He frowned, but didn’t add anything. Something was clearly bothering her. He would find out soon enough.

TBC...


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