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Pain Power Passion	By : purplefeen Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Spike(William)/Willow > Spike(William)/Willow Views: 3237 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and locations belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I do not own them and I am making no money off of them. I'm just letting them play in my playground.

Chapter List
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Part 1
‘Spike Thoughts’
Episode: "School Hard"
     Scene: Bronze – dancing

The Bronze is filled with students having a good time. High school students, college students. Everyone taking a break from academia. Letting go. The band is hot; the music is loud. The place is mostly dark; only a few swirling lights picking up scenes of laughter, flirting, drinking, and dancing. Everyone is having a good time. Trying to forget that they live in Sunnydale. On the Hellmouth.
Spike walks through, watching three teenagers dance. His interest is centered on the blonde girl, watching how she moves, watching her face. ‘Pain. Power. Passion. Flowing from the dance floor in waves. Washing over me. There’s never been a slayer like this. I’ll never defeat her. She must have a weak spot. Maybe she can’t fight – can’t dance. Find the weak spot.’
Spike finds his new minion and gives an order. "Go get something to eat."

Scene: Bronze – exterior – alley. That same night.
Buffy is fighting at top form. She’s graceful, powerful. No unnecessary movements. She’s holding him off until the boy returns with a stake. ‘She can dance. She can fight. She can move. She has more style than the others.’
With a stake at last in her hand, Buffy can see that the vampire is afraid. He asks someone for help, but no one comes to the rescue. The fight ends with bursting ashes and Spike can’t help himself, he applauds.
"Nice work, luv."
Buffy looks up, confused. "Who are you?"
"You’ll find out on Saturday."
"What happens on Saturday?"
"I kill you." Spike walks to the mouth of the alley and smiles. ‘The pain, the power, the passion – they weren’t hers.’

Episode: "Halloween"
     Scene: A suburban neighborhood in Sunnydale.
Spike stops running and leans back against a tall oak tree. He slides down the trunk, sits on the roots, and tries to get comfortable.
‘Why can’t I just KILL her? Her bloody friends, the poof, all protecting her, helping her, making her think she’s stronger than she really is.’
He pulls out his cigarettes and lighter. The lighter brings the angles of his face into relief as he lights the cigarette. ‘All I need is one good--’
As the light flickers, he looks up and sees a girl. Black miniskirt, long legs, crop top, red hair, beautiful neck. . . .
"Who is that girl?"
‘She’s not human’, he realizes. ‘Not a demon. Not a vamp - - no energy, nothing. I can’t feel anything from her, no fear, no joy. It’s like she’s not real. But she is, I can see her . . .’
He wishes she would turn around. But she has no consciousness, nothing for his mind to reach out and touch, nothing to make her do his will. And just wishing doesn’t make it so. He watches her walk down the street, disappearing around a corner.
When he returns to the factory, Drusilla can tell something happened. Her Spike isn’t hers anymore. But she doesn’t know why. Spike blames his distraction on his defeat at the hands of the slayer and her friends. But Drusilla knows better.
And Spike can see it.
‘Dru. I devoted my entire unlife to her. The perfect creature of the night. Beautiful, ethereal, playful, vicious when she’s up to full strength. Innocent, in a way, because of the insanity. She’s pure. She does everything with her whole being. She’s perfect. Why isn’t that enough anymore?’
That night Spike makes love to Drusilla. Soft, slow, burning. But for the first time in one hundred twenty years, he closes his eyes. It isn’t his princess’s eyes he wants to see. He is fantasizing about a nymph in a black miniskirt. A perfect female non-entity, with a switch in her step. Even if he couldn’t feel her, he knows she’s special. That she will be special – to him. Her future is wrapped up in his. He doesn’t know how – or when – after all, he’ll live forever; but eventually, the fates will bring them together.
He imagines her while he touches Drusilla. He doesn’t know her face, couldn’t see her eyes. But with shining, copper hair piled on her head, revealing a long beautiful neck that he wanted to do things to that had nothing to do with biting.
‘Although biting would be good, too.’
Spike comes harder than he has in decades.
And Drusilla fell asleep a long time later, whimpering and calling for her Daddy. But Spike didn’t hear a thing. Exhausted, he fell asleep right after he came, without even a thought to cuddling first.

A year later
Episode: "Lover’s Walk"
     Scene: A magic shop.
The store owner, a small woman with a peaceful demeanor, is trying to reason with a frustrated Spike in the back of the store. He’s searching among the bookshelves, looking for something she doesn’t carry. She only deals in white magicks, she says.
He pleads, "A curse! Y’know, something nasty. Boils. I wanna give him boils all over his face. You know, dripping pustules. Let’s really go for the gusto here."
The shopkeeper frowns. "I’m hearing a lot of negative energy, and I bet…"
He tries again, "Leprosy, all right? A spell that makes his parts fall off. That sounds proper."
She’s getting tired of this. "We don’t carry –"
The door chimes. "Would you excuse me a moment?’ Spike isn’t really paying any attention to her and goes back to searching the spell book without noticing she has wandered off. Then he feels it. He thought, after a while, that maybe he had imagined it before, but here it is again. Crashing into him. ‘Pain. Power. Passion’.

     Scene: The factory.
Willow is afraid. She’s trying to get a grip on the situation to help her get out of here.
‘Spike! Oh, goddess, Spike! And he’s drunk!? Okay, okay. What does Spike want with me? Oh yeah, a spell. I can do a spell. What spell? I forget. Stall. Maybe if I give him what he wants, he’ll just let me go. And I have this lovely bridge I want to sell you . . .’
Spike knows she’s afraid. He doesn’t care. He knows she’s powerful. Even if she doesn’t. She can do this spell, she could do any spell ever conceived if she had a little training. But she doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know she has power. So she’s afraid. Spike plays on that fear; he’ll use that power for his own purposes. "Mm. That smell… Your neck…" He leans in to inhale her.
‘Her neck… No! This can’t be the one.’ That one was a phantom, not real. The one in front of him is real, human. But he knew her. Had dreamed of her, would never forget that Halloween night. He brings forth the demon just to calm his mind. "I haven’t had a woman in weeks."
Willow jumps up. "Whoa. No! Hold it."
‘A minute ago she was terrified, now she’s giving orders. Pain. Power. Passion. She’s starting to feel it. But does she know what it is?’
He pretends he wasn’t listening to see if her courage will hold. "Well, unless you count that shop-keeper."
Willow decides that if she’s going to die today, she’s going to go out fighting. She’s tired of being a scared little mouse. "Now, now, hold on! I’ll do your spell for you. And… and… and I’ll get you Drusilla back, but… but, there will be no bottle-in-the-face, and there will be no ‘having’ of any kind with me. Alright?"
‘Show me the power that’s inside you, luv.’
He grabs her … hears her heart race, feels her overwhelming fear. He shifts back to human features. ‘She feels it, but she’s not ready. Not yet.’
"Alright. Get started."
‘Not today, probably not this year. But she’s starting to sense it. What she’s capable of. But it’s frightening. I know, I’ve been there. You can feel it, smell it, taste it. But you’re afraid if you reach out to touch it, it might disappear. Or eat you alive. I have time, I’ll wait. I’ll come back when she’s ready. When she wants it. And the second -- the second -- that happens, you know I’ll be there. I’ll slip in…’
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Pain Power Passion