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Her	By : QueenB Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 8501 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Email: queenboadiceaoftheiceni@yahoo.com
Summary: Willow casts a spell on R.J.’s jacket. But something goes awry. PWP
Spoiler Warning: Spoilers for BtVS season seven episode “Him”
Disclaimer: This belongs to the great and powerful Joss and the usual gang of idi…uh, geniuses
Pairing: Xander/Spike
Feedback: Do your worst--it can’t compare to my worst ;)
Thoughts are shown in italics.

“What are you going to do--use magic to make him into a girl?” Anya glared at Willow. How dare this trumped-up wiccan bitch that’d nearly ended the world challenge her for her man? She was the only woman for R.J. and anybody with half a brain could see it. She was heterosexual, beautiful, smart, funny, great in bed--with over 1100 years of experience, she certainly ought to be--and she had a successful business.
Well, she’d had a successful business until Willow trashed it. Which was an even greater reason for the wiccan to step aside! She owed Anya! And, hello, Willow was gay! What did she want with a man anyway?
Anya didn’t even consider the others as threats. Dawnie was just a child. Buffy was ultimately only interested in the undead…just witness her relationships with Angel and Spike. No, Anya was definitely the woman for R.J.
Willow glared back at Anya, seriously considering turning the woman into a hamster. The ex-demon didn’t care squat about men. She’d spent over 11 centuries torturing them and she thought she was a match for a young, innocent teenage boy? Okay, Willow wasn’t really interested in men either any more but she could work around that. And Anya had just given her a very good suggestion…
At that thought, she took off from the girls without another word. She charged up to her room, mentally checking off the ingredients she would need for the recipe. She waved her hand and an invisible barrier sealed the door shut. There, just let one of the others try to get in to stop her. Yeah, she had this all under control.
She squatted cross-legged on the floor. The crystals were arranged and the circle carefully prepared. As she thought of the spell, she realized in dismay that she lacked one important component. She didn’t know R.J.’s name. Initials alone wouldn’t help. She needed something really specific to help the magic energies locate their target.
She thought hard and then her eyes lit up. Of course! R.J.’s jacket! Xander had babbled about it as if it was something special and it had to be, like everything else about that dear, sweet, misunderstood boy. That would be the focus for the magicks. She concentrated on the crystals and began to make her appeal to Hecate.
__________

Xander walked the streets, absently aware of the vampire at his side. Spike had seemed to be betterse lse last few days. The rambling fits of insanity were farther and fewer between and he was more or less on an even keel.
But he was having nightmares. He never mentioned them when he woke up and Xander never spoke about them to Buffy or the others. But he could hear the shouts and screams coming from the small closet he’d cleared out for Spike’s use.
The first time the screams came, he’d bolted wide awake and dashed into the living room, wondering if Spike was being attacked. When the screams turned to muffled sobs, he’d stood before the closed door, engaged in a fierce internal debate as to whether he should to go in and--what? Offer comfort? No, Spike would probably just sneer at him or deny that anything was wrong. Sure enough, the next morning Spike was his usual sullen self, drinking and eating Xander’s food without a word of thanks.
Spike’s eyes still followed Buffy but the Slayer seemed determined to keep him at a distance. She never touched him and her words to him were brisk and noncommittal. She was evidently holding to her vow to keep from being involved with Spike again. Xander was glad of that.
Still, the vampire was very changed. Even Xander could see that. Spending time with Spike was allowing him to see another side of the vampire’s nature. They’d started going out. Nothing big or fancy; it wasn’t like they ate out at restaurants or anything. No, they’d go to the Bronze, shoot some pool, shoot the breeze. Xander would watch and hold his tongue while Spike suckered some poor sap out of his pool money. Soul or no soul, there were some things about Spike that would never change.
Spike was fond of sports and Xander found he was glad to have another guy to bond with. He’d really missed male company since Riley left. They would watch and cheer ball games together although Spike was pretty contemptuous about American football. He thought it was nancyish to have them all wrapped up in protective padding instead of risking their skins and delicate bones the way the English did when they played rugby. They’d had passionate debates about their relative sports and other stuff and Xander really enjoyed talking to him. Spike could be an okay guy when he wasn’t obsessing about Buffy.
Under the influence of alcoholic lubrication, Spike opened up and told something about his past. Having been inured to grisly tales by Anya’s constant reiteration of her glory days (or gory days, as he silently called them), Xander was surprised when Spike would talk about his human life. Happy Christmases spent with the folks, his days at university (and who knew Spike was a Harvard grad?) and a girl named Cecily he’d once been crazy about.
Spike’s voice got dark and sad when he spoke about her and Xander knew there was a hidden story that the vampire wasn’t willing to share. Not yet, anyway.
The nocturnal terrors, however, refused to go away and one night Xander couldn’t stand it. He’d silently edged open the door to see Spike tossing about in the throes of what looked like a real humdinger of a nightmare. He’d waited for the dyed blond to settle down a bit; he had no intention of getting an arm broken because the vampire wasn’t holding back from using his full strength.
When the thrashing died down and the crying began, he’d moved quietly onto the bed and stroked the vampire soothingly down his back. He remembered how Willow used to do this to him when they were kids and still in footie pjs. After one of his parents’ particularly nasty fights, he would go to stay with his good friend for a few days. His family never cared and after a while staying with Willow was just a given.
But when he’d been a boy, it had torn his heart out repeatedly to hear them scream at and fight with each other. He would lie in Willow’s bed and sob until he fell asleep while the good-natured redhead would rub his back and murmur nonsense words in his ears.
He’d honestly intended to stay only a few minutes but the moment he touched Spike the vampire had rolled towards him and wrapped him in his pale arms. Xander had tried to extricate himself but he simply couldn’t break the vampire’s grip.
He had looked down towards Spike’s head tucked into his chest. “Uh, Spike? Hey, Deadboy, Jr.? Like to get back to my own bed here. Would you mind easing up on the kung fu grip?” There was no answer and Xander realized that Spike must still be asleep. There was no way he would turn to Xander like this if he were awake.
Hoookay. I’ll wait for a bit and then I’ll just ease out of here. Xander waited a few minutes and tried again to get away. But the vampire’s arms had tightened each time until he’d finally given up. Before he’d known it, he had fallen asleep.
Waking up with the vampire’s body pressed to his had been…embarrassing, to say the least. Spike had jumped up and wanted to know what the hell Xander thought he was doing, coming into his bed at night. Xander had hotly denied anything criminal, merely pointing out that he’d come to see that Spike was all right after his nightmare. Then Spike had denied having a nightmare, of course, and there was nothing more to be said.
Xander had wanted to stay out of Spike’s room after that but the heartrending sobs he kept hearing were too much to bear. He’d given in again to the urge to comfort and this time, when Spike hugged him, he’d been able to make out words. “I’m sorry, Mother. I didn’t mean to. Please forgive me, Mother. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…”
Terrific. He had a vampire with parental issues staying with him. Welcome to the club of family dysfunction, Spike.
The nightmares continued; Xander would quiet the peroxide vampire as best he could. Spike didn’t make any complaints about his presence after that first time and Xander made no more mention of nightmares. One night Spike hesitated before going to bed and shyly asked if Xander would join him. Xander stripped down to his boxers and T-shirt and joined him without another word.
And so it went. Without prompting, Xander would join Spike at night. After awhile the nightmares seemed to lessen in frequency and length. Neither ever discussed it; it was just an easy part of their relationship. Xander didn’t dare think about what else it might mean--either to him or the demon.
Now they were on the trail of some brain-dead junior-league punk who thought it was a swell idea to have every woman he crosseths ths with drooling over him and used an enchanted jacket to do it. He wanted to kick the boy’s ass.
But part of Xander Harris was scolding himself for his hypocrisy. After all, hadn’t he thought it would be a good idea to have Cordelia eating herself alive out of love for him?
But that was different. I didn’t want ALL the women in love with me, just her. And it wasn’t a love spell, either!
No, it was a vengeance spell. You wanted Cordelia Chase to hurt, to feel as badly as you did. You’re just the great big noble sap, aren’t you?
Yeah, he really couldn’t take the moral high ground here. But he had only been interested in one woman. R.J. had no problems about macking on all of them--even a girl who was barely legal like Dawn.
The last thought hardened his resolve. He was like a big brother to Dawn and he was darned if some kid was going to screw with her feelings. Spike couldn’t hit R.J. without his chip going off. But he could peel that jacket from his shoulders while Xander grabbed the boy and held him off. Forget that. I’m gonna hold him down and pound his face into the ground.
There was their target, walking by the side of some girl on crutches. Xander lunged towards him and grabbed the guy around the waist. “Okay, Spike, now!”
“What the he--? What do you think you’re doing?” R.J. yelled, too confused by the muscular brunette holding him to notice his jacket had been snatched.
“I’m putting an end to the little R.J.-lovefest you’ve got going on, that’s what!” Xander said. He shoved the guy away so that he sprawled onto the ground and turned to confront his companion. “Spike, you got the jacket?” He looked around for the blonde vampire. “Spike?”
The girl with R.J. looked at Xander in confusion and then wrinkled her nose at the boy on the ground. The love spell gone, she didn’t know what she was doing with the non-descript-looking would-be football player.
“R.J., I don’t know if this is a hazing prank or what, but I ain’t interested. I have to get home before my mom kills me.” She hobbled off as Xander continued to scan the surrounding area in a rising panic.
“Spike? Where are you?” Oh crap. Buffy was gonna be pissed.
__________
Spike hid in the alley behind the Bronze. He figured Xander would return to his apartment first and that would give him time to put his plan into action. He looked down at the jacket longingly. It couldn’t hurt to put it on, could it? He would wear it and Buffy would love him just as he wanted.
His reinstated soul screamed at him. This was wrong; he couldn’t hope to win Buffy’s love this way and the moment he removed the jacket, she would realize what he’d done and hate him more than ever. But he wanted her so badly. Surely one hour of hearing her speak of love to him wouldn’t be so wrong.
He hesitated once more. Strangely enough, it wasn’t Buffy’s anger that caused him to pause so much as Xander’s. The whelp had been kind to him and he knew that he’d be really angry if he tried to do something like this to the Slayer.
He remembered how brassed off the boy had been when he’d seen Spike with the Buffybot. He’d admired the lad for his loyalty to the others. The kid had a pair, no doubt about that. And he’d been just wonderful to Spike the last few weeks.
But friendship hardly compared with love and that’s what Spike desperately wanted. He held the jacket up and then shrugged himself into it before he could change his mind. Almost at once, he felt a queer buzzing along his skin.
Right, that must be the magic doing its work. He shifted his shoulders as he tried to adjust the fit and the buzzing grew stronger. He took one step forwards just as the full brunt of Willow’s spell hit him.
__________
Xander ran towards Buffy’s house. Contrary to what Spike thought, he wasn’t the dumb bozo a lot of people took him for. If Spike took the jacket, there could be only one reason, one place he would go. He knocked hard on the door, willing the people inside to answer. If no one came, he’d break down the door if necessary.
Dawn pulled the door open. Her eyes were red as if she’d been crying and his anger at R.J. flared up all over again. Damn, he should have taken the time to give that kid his ass kicking. “Xander? W-what’s up?”
He brushed past her, casting his eyes up the stairway and across the living room. “Dawn, is Buffy here?”
“Buffy? No, she’s not. She had a huge fight with Anya and Willow about R.J. and then she and Anya took off.”
“They’re gone? Where did they go?” Dawn appeared completely indifferent to the fate of her sister and Xander tamped down his feeling of utter helplessness. There was a love-struck Slayer and ex-demon on the loose and there was no telling what they would do…especially if they ran into Spike.
“Dawn, Spike’s out there and we need to find Buffy before he does. Did she give you any idea where she might have gone?”
“Where who might have gone?” Buffy’s familiar voice came from behind him and he spun around to see two very chastised-looking women standing framed in the doorway.
“Buffy! Anya! Are you two…okay? You didn’t see Spike anywhere around, did you?”
The two women looked at each other and shrugged sheepishly. Xander suddenly focused on Buffy. She was dressed for slaying but she was carrying her rocket launcher. He hadn’t seen that since she’d taken out the Judge. Why would she be toting it now?
“Buff, usually women walking the streets settle for using mace. What’s with the popgun? Somebody bring back the Judge and forget to tell the rest of us?”
Buffy glanced down at it and then blushed right up to her eyebrows. “This? I-uh, you know, not really sure. I suddenly found myself on school grounds carrying Mr. Extra Flamey here and I figured I’d better get back home with it before Prin--before the cops saw me and arrested me. I’m putting this in the garage now. Bye!”
He turned to Anya just in time to notice her slinking up the stairs. She was oddly dressed in dark clothes and a ski cap resting on her head. “And why are you dressed like a commando?”
She froze and then took refuge in defiance. “What, a girl can’t dress casually? It’s not like I’m seeing anybody any more, not since you dumped me at the altar, Mr. It’s-Not-You-It’s-Me-Because-I’m-Full-of-Crap! You’re not the boss of me, Alexander Lavelle Harris!” With that, she flounced off and they saw her disappear and heard a door on the upper floor slam shut.
Xander shook his head. “I never should have told her my middle name.” He turned to Dawn. “So I take it by all this that everybody’s over R.J., god’s gift to spellbound women?”
Dawn grimaced. “So very over. It happened like ten minutes ago. It was like this cloud lifted and I saw how I’d been making a total skank of myself over some guy I barely knew. And I said some really crappy things to Buffy, too.” She glanced at the closed front door. “D-do you think she’ll be really mad?”
“I think she’ll understand since she was under the R.J. mojo, too. But we’ve got other problems. The reason I came over here is because Spike’s got the jacket. I don’t want him getting near Buffy. I think you should get Willow to throw up the de-invite spell and keep away from the door and windows. If Spike comes knockin’, I’ll take care of him.”
“Spike got R.J.’s jacket? What do you--oh. You think he’ll go after Buffy again. I told him what I’d do to him if he hurt her,” Dawn muttered, her brows pulling together over a murderous gleam in her eyes.
“That’s sweet, Dawn. But don’t forget--you’ll be under the letter whammy too if he gets anywhere near you guys. That’s why I’m staying here tonight.”
__________
There really wasn’t a place for Xander to sleep. All the bedrooms were taken so he parked on the couch. Willow had been really eager to do the de-invite spell, so much so that Xander suspected that she also might have been up to no good. But like Buffy and Anya she proved remarkably evasive so he let it drop.
He lay on the couch as he shifted around trying to get comfortable. He’d slept on the couch before during a sleepover. This should have been no big deal. But he was finding it difficult to drop off. Anxious thoughts about his peroxide roommate kept running through his head.
He’d honestly come to trust Spike. How could he do something like this? To be fair, Spike hadn’t tried anything yet. But there could only be one reason he’d taken the jacket--to win Buffy back.
Xander was hurt by that, more than he should have been. It wasn’t as if Spike’s obsession with Buffy was a new thing or the first time he’d stooped to a low, below-the-belt tactic to win her over. He’d just hoped that with his soul that, oh he didn’t know, Spike would GET OVER IT ALREADY!
Okay, where did that come from? Maybe some of Dawn’s anger had rubbed off on him. But she had a lot more reason to be pissed at Spike than he did. Spike had taken care of her, treated her like a human being when the rest of them had been tiptoeing around her and listened to her problems. Sure, a lot of what she felt was a lame schoolgirl crush but she’d gotten past that to consider Spike nothing more than a good friend. Then Spike failed her trust by trying to rape Buffy.
He’d really hoped Spike had changed. Guess that just went to show you what utter assholes some people could be. Trying to choke down his irrational sense of disappointment, Xander shut his eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.
__________
The night passed without incident and early morning came creeping through the windows. In spite of the distinct lack of comfort, Xander proved rather difficult to rouse. Dawn shook him harder and then yelled in his ear. “Xander! XANDER! Wake up! Buffy’s gonna make breakfast and you’re missing out.”
He jerked up, his eyes bleary and then rubbed them hard. Crap, where was he? Oh yeah, Buffy’s house. And why was he here again? Right, Spike was AWOL--with an enchanted jacket. The last thought caused him to sit up straighter and stare at the young girl leaning over him. “Dawn? You okay? Any sign of Spike wearing his newest fashion accessory?”
Dawn shook her head. “No and we’re keeping our eyes peeled. Willow thinks she can come up with a counterspell so we don’t all become Spike groupies. So no need for you to play guard dog.”
“Thanks. I think.” He peeled himself off the couch and then rose to his full height, grimacing at the crick in his bones. “Guess I’ll just toddle on home then. Tell Buffy I can’t join her for breakfast. If I hurry, maybe I can grab a quick shower and change of clothes so I’m not too late for work.”
__________
Xander opened his apartment door, kicking off his shoes as he went. He was halfway to the shower when he saw the letter jacket lying crumpled on the couch. He snatched it up and then he heard the muted sounds coming from the closet. He paused for a moment and his expression turned grim. Spike. The bastard had come back. He didn’t think the guy would have the balls after what he’d done.
He flung open the door, prepared to yell at Spike, when he stopped, surprised at the spectacle that greeted him. There was a young woman huddled on the bed. Her posture radiated terror and sorrow and she was rocking back and forth mindlessly. As he stood silently in the doorway, she stopped and looked up at him, her long dyed blond hair falling over her eyes. “Xander?”
“Um, who wants to know? Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?” He looked around the small room, absurdly wondering if this was some one-night stand Spike had corralled into coming home with him. Of course, the room was too tiny to hide anybody and Spike was nowhere to be seen.
The woman didn’t answer. She surged up from the bed and threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and began crying.
He patted her back awkwardly as he attempted to ease her obvious distress. “That’s okay. It’s all right. What’s happened? Can you tell me anything, miss?” Had Spike somehow hurt this woman? Or had he just used the jacket to enchant her and then left her? But where could he be? It was broad daylight outside and Xander couldn’t fathom where he might have gone after leaving this woman behind.
The woman tilted up her face and Xander’s breath caught at the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. They were swimming and reddened with tears but they seemed familiar. He nearly fell on the floor at the woman’s next words.
“Xander? It’s me. It’s Spike.”

TBC
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