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What's mine is yours	By : angeljade Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Threesomes/Moresomes > Angel(us)/Spike(William)/Xander > Angel(us)/Spike(William)/Xander Views: 6502 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS) or Angel, the Series (AtS); nor any of the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-What's mine is yours
- 2-What's mine is yours 2
- 1
- 2
Title: What's mine is yours
Author: Angel Jade
Rating: NC-17
Content: Rape, slash and BDSM. (POV)
Pairings: A(us)/X, A(us)/S
Spoilers: Beginning of season 4, nothing major
Feedback: Pretty please!!!
Distribution: Just say where, I'd be super happy
Description: Xander stumbles upon Spike's lair just as Angelus returns from LA. Angelus takes over and decides to keep Xander around for some fun.
Setting: Angel looses his soul after the drug incident and before Darla. Don't ask me how, he won't tell. Takes place just before the scoobies find out Spike has returned to Sunnydale in season 4.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my show. Just my imagination.
Web Page: http://www.fortunecity.com/lavender/eraserhead/153

Willy was beginning to piss me off. The guy had given us the wrong address one too many times. Now he'd given us a whole list, which of course, meant splitting up. We had to find the little demon that had run off with Giles' books. He'd stolen something rather important which, in the wrong hands, would lead to the apocalypse. Again. And so I got to check out the abandoned house in the woods. Buffy had given me more equipment than I needed, as blood-sucking vamps inhabited most abandoned houses in Sunnydale. And I had no intention of dying tonight. As I crept through the woods, I actually got embarrassed with my behaviour. I was jumping at shadows, making a real fool of myself. My fear levels were through the roof. I tried to get myself to calm down, telling myself that all the vampires in Sunnydale would smell my fear. Of course that only lead to freaking myself out more.

The house used to belong to some old guy who lived alone with his staff. A gamekeeper or something like that. He owned the woods until he went insane and killed all his servants. Although that was quite possibly just rumours from 4th grade. When I finally found the place, those rumours seemed more like an understatement. The house symbolised every tacky horror movie I had ever seen. The only thing missing was the streak of lightning. I shook my head and made my way to the house, being careful to stick to the shadows, hoping that whatever lived there, was not in.

I peered in the windows cautiously. A dark empty room leered back at me. I wondered round the edge of the house, glancing in each one and seeing nothing. There were no curtains, no paint and no boards, so logically, vampires couldn't have lived there. Feeling a twinge of courage, I decided to look inside, not at all bothered about running into the little demon. If it hadn't have run off with Giles' books, I would have wanted to keep the thing as a pet. It looked like a little munchkin. Of course, after we had seen it, we looked it up and discovered its mischievous, but harmless nature. Why couldn't all demons be that way? I made my way to the front door and pushed it. It opened slowly, as if it hadn't been opened in a long time. I took one look around and knew right away I had been seriously mistaken. The floor had very recently been cleaned and there was little dust anywhere. A coat lay draped on the banister and some books (not Giles', I noticed) had been pulled from a nearby bookcase and flung on the small sofa. Giving up all ideas of bravery, I spun round to run away, not willing to take any chances, but three tall figures blocked my way. These were no munchkin demons.

"Xander!" Spike grinned, baring his teeth. Shocked, both by the sudden appearance of them and their ugly faces, I stepped back, unwittingly into the house.

"Spike." I greeted, my mind frantic with a million thoughts at once. Will Buffy be on her way here? Is there anyway out? What's he going to do with me? Could I be any stupider? All very good questions.

*****

"You should know better than to be out in the woods all alone in the dark." Spike teased, moving forwards, his minions close behind. Their group had grown. Three more now stood behind Spike.

"I was looking for you." I lied, trying to keep my cool. There was no way I could run from this. I didn't stand a chance.

"Oh yeah? By yourself?" Spike asked, his tone slightly cautious. He was wondering if Buffy was nearby.

"No. Buffy's around." I said carefully. He could see through me, I just knew it. He continued to advance, keeping his game face on, to frighten me no doubt. "What are you doing back in Sunnydale? I thought Buffy kicked you out."

Spike growled. "You think I do what that bitch of a slayer tells me to?" He scoffed.

"Yeah...well." I stuttered. "I came here to tell you, I know you're here and Buffy's gonna get real angry if she sees you here..." Oh it had sounded like a good plan in my head.

"And how angry will she be if she finds the dead body of her good friend Xander?" Spike asked. I stopped stepping backwards. Any further and I would have been out the room.

"Buffy!" I yelled, hoping to trick him in a last desperate attempt to convince him I was not stupid enough to be here alone.

In one quick motion, he was in front of me, his hand clasped around my throat, threatening to rip it out. I grabbed his arm with my hands, trying to pull him off me and alleviate the pain that crushed at my windpipe.

"I don't think she's coming, mate." Spike grinned. "In fact, I don't think she's anywhere near here. Perhaps we should wait for her." He cocked his head. "Nah, I'm too hungry." He released my neck and pushed me against the wall, ready to sink his teeth in.

"Didn't I teach you anything?" Angel's voice questioned Spike. Spike's game face fell and he looked at the front door, shocked to see the face of his sire.

"Angel!" I called out, making sure he knew I was there and in need of serious help.

"I was following you, Harris, but like the slippery fuck that you are, I lost you." Angel's voice was so much different from the usual cold tone. It sounded so pitiless and empty. The little relief I had felt on seeing him was quickly replaced with a dread more intoxicating than the previous one. It wasn't Angel. "Then I heard you call out her name."

"Angelus." Spike spat angrily. "When did you get back?"

"Just." He smirked. "I was hoping to catch up with some of my old friends from Sunnydale"

Spike shook his head and turned back to me, his face morphing back. He went to bite me again but his sire's tutting stopped him. "What?!"

"You're just going to eat him?" Angelus asked, the critical tone in his voice was obviously pissing Spike off.

"Yeah." Spike yelled. "Why? You wanna fuck him too?" I wondered if he referred to Angel fucking Buffy or perhaps Angelus fucking...gross! I tried to wipe the images from my head.

"Now that you mention it." Angelus grinned. I felt my heart stop. Fuck me? They were kidding right?

"Fuck off, he's mine." I heard Spike growl.

"Why don't you ask Harris?" Angelus suggested. I watched them both, my eyes wide with terror. "Do you want to die a virgin?"

I wasn't a virgin. Not with women anyway. But I got the feeling he didn't mean it that way. How could I possibly answer that question? "I don't want to die." I blurted out, regretting the words the moment they left my mouth. What a pathetic thing to say.

"Go fuck Buffy." Spike hissed at Angelus, before returning his attention to me. Angelus moved with frightening speed, pulled Spike off me and threw him across the room. I moved across the wall, as far into the corner as I could possibly get, wondering...no, praying Angelus was pretending. It was Angel, it had to be. He was just messing with Spike.

"When I'm finished with you. You'll wish you were dead." He whispered in my ear. Too late, I thought. They hadn't been joking. All the rumours I had heard about vampires and I never took them seriously. Was he really...? I felt my knees buckle under me but his hands caught me and pulled me back onto my feet. "Whoa! Not yet Harris. You can drop to your knees later. If you think I'm staying in this dump you've got another think coming."

I glanced over at Spike, who was picking himself up off the floor. He looked fiercely at his minions, who stood by. They hadn't even tried to stop Angelus. He looked back at me, hiding his humiliation with anger. Before he could speak, Angelus opened his mouth. "Don't forget who you are, Spikey. Or I may just have to teach you." Spike dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head. He looked at a loss, which I could really relate to.

"Buffy's gonna come after me." I warned Angelus, in some vain attempt to win back some dignity.

"I really hope so." Angelus grinned.

They dragged me for what seemed like hours. Angelus led the pack, with Spike and his minions following, not daring to challenge the new Master. Spike had attempted to stay but Angelus had threatened his childe. It would have been funny if I weren't in such a dangerous position. Spike...the big bad, was afraid of Angelus. I didn't blame him, but it was amusing nevertheless. I resisted the urge not to call out for Buffy, sure that he would either kill me or something worse.

On arriving at a small house on the outskirts of town, I was taken inside. I wondered how exactly Angelus got these houses. My question was answered when I saw a couple of bodies in the corner. I looked away, desperately trying not to throw up. Angelus laughed at me. "You'll get used to it, boy."

Shivers ran down my spine. I'd get used to it? Exactly how long did he plan on keeping me alive? My throat tightened at the thought of him keeping me here. Where was Buffy when you needed her?

Spike stood by the door, obviously pissed off. He lent against the wall and glared at Angelus. Angelus turned to the minions and looked them over, a dissatisfied look on his face. "Any of you over ten years?" He asked them. No one made a sound. Angelus looked at Spike. "You never change, you know that." I had no idea what it meant, but Spike sure did. He kept staring at Angelus, until he decided to back down and looked away.

"There's a new Master in Sunnydale. Whom do you serve?" Angelus asked them.

"You, Master." They said, dropping to their knees. I felt equals emotions of amusement and disgust at the sight. The world of the vampire is fucked up.

"Spike?" Angelus asked calmly, when Spike didn't speak.

"What?" He snapped, immediate regret crossing his face. But he didn't take it back.

"I didn't hear you." Angelus told him. "Whom do you serve?" He asked again, with more strength behind his voice.

"I don't serve anyone but me." Spike said angrily. "So fuck off."

Angelus looked at the minions and they knew exactly what he wanted. They grabbed a protesting Spike and dragged him over to Angelus, forcing him down onto his knees. I stood against the wall in shock.

"It's been too long, Spikey." Angelus grinned. "You're going to pay for that." Spike struggled violently, but there were too many of the vampires holding him.

"Fuck you!" Spike yelled in defiance.

Angelus grabbed Spike's chin and raised his head so he was looking into the eyes of his sire. "Take him upstairs and use the equipment in the first bedroom to tie him to the bed. Spread legged, on his stomach." Angelus commanded. I felt sick at the thought of what Angelus was obviously going to do. But then a stronger wave of terror took over me. I was alone with him.

He turned around and looked at me. The terrified boy pressing into the wall, as if he could go through it if he tried hard enough. I must have looked pathetic. "What's the matter, boy?" Angelus asked me. I couldn't answer, so I just swallowed and kept my eyes on him. "You look scared. You're not scared of you're old pal, Angel, are you?" I looked away and gritted my teeth in angry embarrassment. "We'll see to that. gra grabbed my shirt collar and dragged me upstairs, where I heard Spike's angry protests. I was taken into the last room down the hall. The giant bed gave me fresh shivers down my spine. I was flung onto it and left, as if he knew I wouldn't escape. It made the humiliation worse. The fact that I didn't even try to run away, that thought would haunt me later.

Angelus took his shirt off in front of me and I sat there gawking at him. I could not comprehend what was happening. It seemed too surreally tly the intense feeling of terror that pounded at my chest made it real. I struggled to breathe, as he took his pants down. He glanced at me. "Strip." He ordered simply. There was no way I was going to do that. It was bad enough I couldn't force myself to run, but to strip willingly? That was out of the question. "Now, Harris!" He growled. My hands betrayed me and flew to my shirt. I took it off as quickly as I could, keeping my eyes away from his satisfied smirk.

I was vaguely aware of Angelus' naked form watching me, but managed to block it out by closing my eyes. My brain wasn't functioning properly. Was he doing this to humiliate me or was he really going to fuck me? I wondered if he'd let me go afterwards. Doubtful.

"Pay attention, Harris." He said, bringing me back from my thoughts and straight back into reality. I looked up at him, both of us now naked. I would have never guessed I would be in this situation. I had often thought about him killing me, but this was completely new to me. "Good boy." He patronized. "On the bed." I tried as hard as I could to hide the horror that crossed my face, but I felt my eyes betraying me. His eyebrows rose, as I didn't move. That look was enough to get me moving. I lay down on my back. "If you want me to fuck you like a girl..." I turned over quickly.

My hands grasped the bed covers in abject fear. My knuckles turned white as I felt him climb on the bed. "Please don't." I finally found words. I may have said it like a moron, but they were words.

"Come on, Xander you can do better than that." Angelus taunted, as his hands fell upon my ass. I decided not to bother. Nothing I could say would convince him to stop. I'd save my grovelling for later. "No more begging?" He asked. "Then lets begin." My heart stopped as I felt his cock push at my ass, ready to enter. I held my breath and screwed my eyes closed, awaiting the pain I knew was coming.

As his cock entered me dry, I felt an explosion of pain. My whole body tensed and I cried out, unable to keep my pain to myself. He started to push in further, stretching my ass more than it should ever be stretched. Tears rolled down my eyes and I tried with every ounce of energy I had to concentrate on something other than the throbbing that stemmed from the sick intrusion he was forcing upon me. I automatically started to struggle, but his hands bore down on me and pressed me into the bed. "Mmm, I love it when they struggle." Angelus said to no one in particular. "Makes it more fun for me." That was the last thing I wanted, but I didn't stop. Pride seemed so unimportant right now, but I clung to it. If he took my pride, I knew I would just submit and take it.

Minutes crawled by and he made no sign of finishing. My body slumped in exhaustion and I had stopped crying. There were no more tears left. I just lay there, as he thrust into me, stabbing me harder each time. My eyes stared off into the distance and I simply breathed. It was all I could do.

The grunt he made startled me and I felt his cold load shoot into my ass. He waited for a moment before pulling out. I closed my eyes, thankful it was over finally. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I had long since given up ideas of rebellion and pride. It was all I could do to stay alive now. Not that that was much of an issue now. I was ready to curl up and die. My heart jumped as he slapped my ass, as he was climbing off the bed. He didn't say a word, but I felt his gloating envelop the room like a bad smell. "Get up." He demanded. I couldn't have complied even if I had wanted to. Rather than yell again, he stalked over to me and grabbed my arm, lifting me off the bed with little effort. He threw me on the floor and I landed in a heap. This time I did move, despite the crippling pain running through my sodomized body.

"Consider yourself lucky." He said, coldly. "I could have done much worse." I stared at the floor, hoping he'd mistake my attempt to focus on something else as submission. "Now it's Spike's turn." He said, his voice cheering up. I wondered what he was going to do to me now. "Follow." He walked out the room, obviously not at all bothered he was stark naked. I followed timidly, wondering if he'd kill me if I didn't.

"Fucking unchain me now, you fucking traitors." Spike yelled at the vampires who stood waiting by the bed. He glared at Angelus as we entered. "You're going to pay for this!" He swore.

Angelus laughed and shook his head. "You need to be taught to think before you speak."

"I think you're fucked in the head." Spike spat. Angelus just laughed. He wondered over to the cabinet on the far side of the room and pulled out some objects. Spike's face drained as he saw what his sire was holding. I shrank back into the corner, wondering if anyone would notice me leave.

"Leave." Angelus instructed the minions, frightening me. For a moment, I had thought he had been talking to me. The minions left quietly, some rather upset that they would miss all the fun.

"Wish you were dead yet?" Spike asked me as he pulled at his bonds. I opened my mouth to talk but Angelus shot me a look and I shut it again.

"You'll rip your hands off, if you keep that up." Angelus commented as he walked round the edge of the bed, keeping his eyes locked on Spike's naked body. I could see Spike was trying to think of something to say. He knew swearing and insulting would only get him so far.

Angelus caressed the whip he held in his hand, with sick fascination. I saw the hesitation on Spike's face. I wondered if he had had previous experience of this kind. Then I remembered Spike and Angelus' past. Spike had lived with Angelus for years; it was hard to believe that Angelus had never punished him. He seemed to enjoy it way too much.

"Boy." Angelus called me and I looked at him, nervously. I tried to keep my breathing even, but I was far to shaken up. "I hope you're watching. This is what happens to people who disobey me."

"It happens all the fucking time, regardless." Spike argued. "Any bloody excuse." Spike sucked his breath in as an angry lash crossed his back. Angelus smirked, noticeably satisfied now that he had shut his childe up. I closed my eyes and looked away, trying to block the vision out. How could he stand the pain? The noise had been enough to unnerve me.

The second strike ricocheted off Spike's back, the loud snap echoing in my ears. Spike didn't make a sound, but I had a feeling that Angelus wouldn't stop until he did. Why was Spike making this worse on himself? And I thought I had a pride problem.

"Come on, Spikey!" Angelus mocked. "You've missed this and you fucking know it."

A low growling sound came from Spike. I opened my eyes and dared to glance at the two vampires, only to look away again. Spike had two deep red lines across his back, which was soon three, as Angelus landed another across Spike's shoulder blades.

He kept going and I soon lost count of the painful sounds. Spike had begun to moan, involuntarily at each strike. When I looked back over, I almost fainted at the sight of Spike's back. It was torn open, blood everywhere. The elated look on Angelus' face was unsettling. I felt my knees weaken and I wondered how much longer I could take this. I was only watching this disturbing scene and I felt sick. I actually felt sorry for Spike.

Not long after, Spike began to cry out, followed by full on screaming. His pained cries made my stomach turn. I was just glad I didn't have to watch the pain on his face. This was truly sick. I silently prayed that Buffy would find me before this sort of thing happened to me. If she did come, what would I do? How could I tell her what Angelus had done to me? A wave of remembrance flooded my mind and I felt the sudden urge to scream. Good sense prevailed though...yes, even I have that. I kept quiet.

Angelus dropped the whip and I heard the relieved sigh that Spike released. I looked up, trying to avoid Spike's back. Angelus was unchaining him. I wanted to shrink further into the shadows, but I was as far as I could go. I watched as Angelus lifted Spike off the bed and helped him over to the table. The table? With horrifying realisation, I sank to the floor and sat with my arms wrapped around my knees. No one noticed. Spike was forced onto the table, his feet, barely touching the floor. Angelus pushed down on his back, pressing into the exposed flesh.

Spike yelped in pain. I stared at them, a sick fascination forcing me to watch. Angelus was going to rape Spike. He slid his hands down to Spike's ass and parted the cheeks, a hungry look in his eyes. He looked at me, and then back at Spike, satisfied I was watching, then with brutal force, slammed his cock into his childe, tearing his insides in one swift, painful movement. Spike cried out in shock and terror, desperately struggling with every bit of strength he had left. But his sire was far superior to him and he was weak. I watched, as Angelus moved back and forth, impaling the younger vampire, as he lay sprawled across the table. And then I realised that Spike was.... hard. He was enjoying this, in some sick perverted way, Spike was enjoying it. The look on his face, the sound of his pained groans would lead anyone to believe otherwise, but I could see the evidence right there. It was being pressed into the table from Spike's uncomfortable position. Once again, it fascinated me. Was it really possible to have your skin whipped off your back and then get raped and to still get hard? And yet watching it...it was kinda turning me on. Nah, that's impossible. I'm not gay and I don't get off on pain and domination. Unless it's (Buffy) Anya doing it and even then...gross.

"You see how he likes it, boy?" Angelus asked me, mid thrust. Spike looked at me, half-heartedly glaring.

"Yes." I replied meekly, when his eyes stayed on me. I felt obliged to answer.

"Is it turning you on?" He asked, as if reading my fucked up mind. I averted my eyes to the floor in embarrassment. He snorted in his usual arrogant fashion and returned his attention to Spike. "You think he wants to see more?" Spike opened his mouth to speak, but seemed to be too overwhelmed with pain to make sound.

Angelus grunted as he came and pulled away from Spike. "Ready to apologise?" He asked, in a deceptively sweet manner.

Spike just breathed, as the ex-humans did...for some reason. He couldn't answer, so he just nodded.

"Good boy." Angelus praised. "If you hadn't, I'd have given you to Xander here. Sure he doesn't have much...any experience, but I'm sure he could stand there while you gave him head."

Again with the sick feeling. Spike looked at me again, venomous eyes that seemed to wish me dead. What had I done?

Angelus left him on the table and walked out the door. I stood, ready to follow but he didn't tell me to, so I stayed put. Spike wasn't going anywhere for a while so I fancied my chances against him rather than the sex-crazed master vampire.

"Boy!" Angelus yelled, starling me. I moved to the door, staying close to the wall for support. I was still in unbelievable pain from before and I knew at any moment I would black out. As I poked my head around, Angelus stood there waiting for me. His face twisted into the vampire form that made me nervous. A human face I could handle, but the demon that looked back at me was a horrifying sight, despite the amount of vampires I had seen since meeting Buffy. "I'd usually introduce you to the minions about now, but I think I'd rather have you all to myself."

I swallowed gulp of air awkwardly. I dreaded having to be near him. Would he hurt me the same way he'd hurt Spike? He seemed to be waiting for an answer. Rather than struggle with words that I couldn't form right now, I nodded gently, hoping that was enough. e spe spun round and walked back to his room, the room I had no desire to go back to. But like the coward I was, I followed him, silently cursing myself for not doing the manly thing...and running away.

As I entered the room, my eyes darted round, looking for him. He wasn't there. I looked around and he stood behind me. He'd hidden behind the door. I realised my heart and taken up refuge in my throat and calmly coaxed it down. "Harris, Harris, Harris." Angelus sang, walked towards me, forcing me to walk backwards. I hated it when vamps did that. His face had reverted to its human-like form.

"I never had you pegged for such a dirty little shit." He told me. I didn't understand and it obviously showed, as he decided to show me exactly what it meant. He reached out and grabbed my balls, squeezing them harshly. I winced in pain and made every effort not to move. "I could smell your arousal." Oh shit.

"Arousal?" I managed to choke out.

"I wonder whether it was it the dominance or the pain that turned you on?" He asked, a sardonic edge to his voice. "Unless you're like Spike." He said, releasing his grip on me. "Perhaps you like both."

"I didn't..." I muttered. His left hand grabbed my jaw and propped my head up so he could look directly into my eyes.

"Did I ask for your input?" He asked, bruising my face with his hand.

"No." I replied, thankful I could finally get words out regularly. Shame they weren't the ones I really wanted to say.

"Then shut the fuck up." He sneered. "You'll talk when I tell you to, you'll move when I tell you to and most importantly, you'll come when I tell you to."

Silence ensued. The only noise was the constant sound of my uneven breathing.

"Is that understood?" He asked me. I nodded as much as I could, his grip on my jaw making it difficult to move. "You're gonna make a great sex slave, Harris."

Slave. Sex. A sex slave. Buffy, where the fuck are you?

"You think you'll grow to love it?" He asked me, every word dripping with cruel amusement. At least one one was happy. I decided against answering, as I knew he would simply twist my words or decide to prove me wrong. Either would have lead to sex. I was just trying to stay alive long enough for Buffy to rescue me. Any time soon, Buff...

"Whatever happened to those witty comebacks, huh Harris?" He taunted. "Have I scared some sense into you? You're finally watc you your tongue around vicious killers now, are you?" I stared at the floor, downing out his words with thoughts of his body disintegrating into a pile of ash. "Perhaps you have nothing to say. Maybe you want this. Is that why you can't fight back?"

"What's the point?" I muttered, his mocking evoking the Xander he knew and reviled, no doubt.

"What was that, boy?" He asked, sounding way too much like my father for my liking.

"What's the point?"

"The point in what?" He coaxed, getting off on my little act of rebellion.

"Fighting back." I whispered.

"Makes it more fun." Angelus sneered. "More fun when I break you. More fun when you beg me to let you come." I shook my head, hiding the bubble of arousal that pounded in my chest.

"I'd die first." I hissed, growing the nerve to finally stare him down.

"You're a fool, Harris." He chided. "And I thought you'd finally learnt a thing or two about vampires."

"That you're all cock-sucking psychos?" I shot back. "Trust me, I know."

"We don't all suck cock." He said, a lop sided grin spreading across his face.

"For Spike to do it is exactly the same." I said, inwardly kicking myself. Great way to get yourself killed, idiot.

"Spike loves it." Angelus laughed, placing a hand on my shoulder. "And you will too." His touch turned into a grip, as he forced me down onto my knees. My blood ran cold from fear, dreading this more than being raped. This was worse. Not as painful...but sucking another guy's cock was my idea of hell.

His fingers began to run through my hair, finally finding a place to settle and grab. I felt pain shoot through my head as he held onto my hair, controlling my heads movement. His other hand ran down to his half-erect cock that lay directly in front of me. He knew he didn't have to warn me about biting. I knew what he could do to me...I wasn't that stupid.

"Open your mouth, Harris." He ordered. As his fingers tightened in some form of tt, It, I opened my mouth little. Before I had a chance to do anything else, his cock rammed down my throat and poked harshly at my windpipe. My body shook as I automatically tried to gag. The intrusion stretched my mouth open painfully and left little room to breath or move. I felt his hand yank my hair back, pulling my head with it. I sucked in much needed air before I was forced back onto his hard dick. I felt better prepared this time and managed not to gag. He started to thrust into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat at each push. The pain caused my eyes to water and small tears ran down my cheek. I did nothing but sit there and take it. I made no attempt to use my tongue as Anya had done to me so many times before. I briefly wondered how Anya could do this. My mouth ached so badly and I felt so...disgusting. My eyes drifted up to look at his face. His face twisted into a look of pleasure and satisfaction, moments before I felt him come in my mouth. I tried to pull back and choke but he kept his hand behind my head and I was forced to swallow. I started to gag on the cold substance so he pushed me away. I fell onto my side, coughing and retching. Stray drops of come escaping from my open mouth. I lay there, trying to breath and not vomit. I didn't even notice him kneel down beside me.

"You've got a lot to learn, kid." He patronized. "And I'm gonna take great pleasure showing you." He reached down and ruffled my hair playfully, then walked out.

For hours I didn't move. Overcome with shock and revulsion at what I'd just done. I curled up in a ball and cried quietly. It was too much. Never had I felt so violated and dirty. I silently vowed I would kill the son of a bitch. Just as soon as I could move without the pain threatening to rip the ground from under me.

I couldn't work out whether I was too scared or too humiliated to run. I knew I wouldn't get far, but was that really what was stopping me? After all, how do you explain to your friends the things that had happened to me? It's quite possible that I was in shock for the hours that had passed since Angelus' last visit. I couldn't bring myself to move and a million thoughts tried to speak all at once in my usually quiet head. It seemed as if nothing I could do would silence them. Scenes from my earlier experiences replayed in my head, like an annoying rerun and I just knhat hat if I didn't do something I would go insane. If I'm not already.

I heard noises from downstairs and tried to block them out. Screams, both male and female. I wondered if they were those of the minions or poor humans who were to suffer a similar fate to me. If they were lucky they would die.

I starred at the door, waiting for the moment that he would return, ready to shatter the last shards of dignity and hope that I clung to. I dreaded it more than anything, but shedshed that he would hurry. The waiting was torture.

I felt my throat tighten as the door finally opened. A half naked Spike walked in, completely cured from his earlier run in with Angelus. I envied the healing abilities of vampires. He cocked his head and looked at me strangely. The hate and blame had disappeared from his eyes, and now he watched me intently, other emotions running through his mind.

Awkwardly, I looked down, waiting for whatever comment he would make. I wasn't going to stand up to him; there was no point in that. Right now, the only thing I wanted was to be in as little pain as possible.

"You didn't answer my question." He stated simply. I looked at him, having no idea what he was talking about. "Do you wish you were dead yet?"

This seemed like the kind of question where the wrong answer would lead to bad things. Then again it could have been the kind that there is no right answer to. I took my chances. "If it meant never having to see him again."

Spike nodded, with an understanding I couldn't quite grasp. "He won't kill you. Not yet. No matter how hard you try, he'll just keep torturing you more and more."

I wondered whether he actually had a point to make. I answered the only way I could. "I know."

"You don't know, you have no idea." Spike told me, walking closer. From my crouching position on the floor, I looked up at him, a hesitant look upon my face. "You think what just happened was bad? Wait 'til you piss him off. Then the leather really flies, if you know what I mean."

Speechless and unwilling to let those thoughts into my head, I just ignored him. He didn't seem at all bothered. He wanted to talk, not listen to my pathetic contributions.

"I was like you once." Spike said, sitting on the bed, facing me. "Well, not at all like you actually, but I was ignorant. I thought that I couldn't fight back, that I should just let it happen. I was wrong. We vampires were not made to be weak. I am a Master vampire. I do what the hell I like."

Why the hell was he telling me that? What do I care if he has inferiority issues? I wanted to scream at him, tell him to leave me alone, but a little voice in my head told me not to yell at the vicious and evil vampire.

"I'll show him." Spike said, no longer talking to me. He focused on me for a couple of unnervingly silent seconds. "You were mine first."

Fear once again began to choke me, as I realised why he was in here. I had no idea whether he planned to kill, rape or torture me and parts of me argued over which I would prefer. I couldn't take anymore of this.

"Stand up." He ordered, sounding remarkably like Angelus. I soon realised, Spike had his own style. He didn't ask again. Instead, he yanked me off the floor and threw me against the bed. I landed on my stomach in the position I least wanted to be in. However, he turned me over and pulled me to my feet. He wasn't going to fuck me after all. I stepped back, puling against his grip on me, as his face morphed into its demon form. "Have a nice after-life." He muttered, as his teeth closed around my neck. I feebly tried to struggle, but there was little point. As I was slowly drained of my blood, I thought of Willow of all people. Images of her when we were little.

A low growl brought me back to reality and stopped Spike from continuing. He pulled away and growled back. Angelus stood in the doorway.

"Have we not learnt anything, Spike?" Angelus asked, angrily. "The boy is mine."

"I found him first, Angel." Spike yelled.

"Actually, I did. I met him about a year before you, that makes him mine." Angel sneered.

"That was soulboy, not you." Spike replied. "You only met him after screwing the slayer."

"Why do you want to kill him so badly, Spike?" Angelus asked, as if I wasn't even there. "Trying to prove you can have something of your own, is that it?"

"I had plenty of things before you showed up." Spike yelled back. "I had Dru, I had minions, I even had my own enemies, but you have to take everything. You're not having him, Angel, he's mine."

"Angelus!" He corrected Spike, his tone growing even more annoyed.

I felt myself weaken from the lack of blood coursing through my veins and I could no longer stand. Spike threw me on the bed.

"When are you going to understand that nothing is yours? I own you." Angelus remarked.

"And when are you going to understand I don't belong to anybody. You can beat and fuck me all you like but I won't ever belong to you." Spike cried.

"We'll see." Angelus smirked. "I've got all the time in the world to teach you otherwise."

"You won't be able to hold me here forever." Spike said.

"You know I'll always find you." Angelus reminded him, amused at his childes obvious distress. "And how exactly will you run away when I remove your legs?"

Spike tried not to back down, but he understood the seriousness of his sire's threat. He looked down at me, a defeated yet angry look on his face. "Sorry mate. Looks like you live after all."

Maybe it was the blood loss, but it actually sounded sympathetic. Maybe Spike had felt sorry for me. Maybe it was supposed to be a taunt. But somehow I was strangely happy at his remark.

Spike walked out, brushing Angelus' hard shoulder as he went. Angelus looked at me, a satisfied half-smile on his face.

"Perhaps it's time to turn you into a vampire." He said, cocking his head in contemplation. I didn't even try to move, I just lay there, wondering if I was dying. "Chances are you won't last the night if I leave you like this..." He sniggered to himself. "Would that be such a great loss? I'll let you decide, Harris. Do you want to die or do you want to live forever?"

Living forever had it's set backs, I knew that. And so did being a vampire. Angelus' vampire to be exact. A scene from 'Interview with a vampire' flashed across my mind. I was just like Christian Slater and that made him Tom Cruise. I almost smiled at the thought.

"Haven't got all day, Harris." He interrupted my thoughts rudely. "What's it going to be?"

"No." I muttered, weakly.

"No? Are you sure? Are you ready to die yet, Harris?" He taunted me, walking over to me.

"I'd rather die than become Spike." I said, almost in a whisper. Angelus laughed.

"You're no Spike, Harris. Trust me." His face changed and I found myself looking into the eyes of the vampire.

"I...don't want to." I said, my voice failing me again.

Angelus nodded. "Shame. Cause I like having you around." He leaned in closer, his fangs dangerous close to my neck. "But alas, I can't let Spike win, you understand that don't you? If it makes you feel better, you won't have a soul."

I gasped in more than shock than pain, as his fangs sunk into my neck and he drained more of my blood. I felt myself dying and I preyed he would keep going but he pulled away. My eyes were closed at this point; I had no energy to keep them open. I felt the world slip away from me as cold liquid began to drip into my mouth. I swallowed it unconsciously and drifted into blackness.

~*~*~*~
Part 2...
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