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Complement	By : WEB Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4884 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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VIII � Mourning

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...cause out of all this hurt we have ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...
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An hour before the sun was getting ready to bring forth another day; Faith finally let Buffy get some sleep. She lay quietly holding the golden-haired Slayer in her arms. A part of her still couldn't believe any of this had happened. Couldn't believe she was laying here holdine woe woman she had been dreaming about for years. Holding the woman who she never thought, not in million years, would ever want to hold her back.

Faith shifted her position a little trying to get comfortable. She winced, she was tired, bruised, fuck she was down right sore, and loving every little ache and pain. She looked down at the dream lying in her arms. This was all so new to her, only once before had she held someone in her arms through the night, and she silently thanked whomever it was that had given her the chance to hold that same someone again.

Faith was afraid if she closed her eyes, that when she opened them again, it would turn out that this really had been a dream after all. She tightened her arms around the sleeping Slayer, she didn't want to sleep, she didn't want this night to ever end.

'I could get used to this. I could so get used to this.'

Faith gently ran her hand over the arm that lay across her stomach. She felt desire rise up in her again from that simple touch.

She slowly untangled herself from Buffy, knowing that if she didn't she would soon be waking Buffy. Faith was pretty sure that she would have an angry Slayer on her hands then. By the end of the night, Buffy had been alternating between begging Faith to touch her, to begging Faith to just let her sleep. Ten minutes, Buffy kept saying that was all was was asking for, Just ten minutes please Faith!

For the first time in her life, the Get some, get gone girl, had nowhere she wanted to get gone to.

Buffy gave a little sigh of protest, mumbling in her sleep as Faith rose from the bed.
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She pulled on an oversized T-Shirt, and left a robe on the bed for Buffy. She made her way downstairs and put on a very large pot of coffee. She was going to have to wake Buffy soon, she vaguely remembered Buffy saying something about getting home before Giles brought Dawn back.

She waited until there was about two cups of coffee in the pot and poured herself a large cup. She loved these new coffee makers that let you pour yourself a cup before the coffee finished brewing the whole pot. While to the rest of the world this wasn't anything new, it was to the Dark Slayer. Faith had been grateful if the water from the tap in the endless shitty motels she had lived in for so long got hot enough to make a cup of instant.

Faith put about eighteen-billion spoons of sugar, and at least two inches of cream in her coffee. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world when people would ask her who she was fixing the coffee for. For some reason everyone assumed she would drink her coffee black. As if it was a requirement that she drank black coffee to go with the whole Bad Girl image.
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She took her coffee and went outside to the walled in garden to sit in the pre-dawn light and wait for the sunrise. Faith might not have been a morning person, but that didn't mean she didn't get up early every day. This was her favorite time of the day, it was special to her, had been since she was a child. It was one of her secrets. One she had never shared with anyone had never cared to share with an. No. Now though there was one person who shared this secret with her, Angel. She had not told him about it, he had discovered it on his own.

When he had first brought her home from the courtroom after The Incident, she had been unresponsive, almost cationic. She had felt like she was living inside of a plastic bubble. When she tried to reach out all she met was the resistance of the plastic. As hard as she tried she could not seem to break the plastic barrier, it would stretch, but never break, and in the end it just kept her trapped inside.

Angel stayed with her twenty-four hours a day for over a week straight.

He would talk to her about everything and anything. She probably knew more about Angel than any other living person on the earth. Sometimes for hours on end, he would read to her, until his voice would get hoarse, and then he would just sit quietly with her, holding her two warm hands within his cold ones. She would have sworn that he never slept during that first week. She never responded to him, she had not spoken a single word to anyone since that day. Her hands had been in constant motion during that period in her life. When she would try to claw at them, he would once again gather them into his own, soothing her, comforting her, until she slept.

Every morning she would wake at the pre-dawn, and see him out there on the balcony with his face turned up to the sky. He would stay out there until the sun rose and the first pale rays of the day streaked across the horizon, until the demon in him would roar in his mind in fear, pleading for him to get inside. Faith longed to be out there staring up into sky with him, watching the sunrise. But, she was unable to escape from the prison of her own making and Angel could not hear the yelling, the screaming coming from her mind.

On the third day, he came to her, lifted her up and carried her outside with him. Something inside of Angel must have recognized the silent pleas of the Dark Slayer. Perhaps it was something minuscule in her expression that only his vampire eyes had seen. Or maybe it was just two souls who were traveling down the same path, seeking the same things, one calling out to the other.

Together in silence, the vampire with a soul and the Dark Slayer stood in the pre-dawn. The time of the day when the sky is no longer black, but a dark, dark azure blue. Both of their faces turned up into the promise of a new day.

Faith hadn't been surprised to learn that Angel felt the same way about this time of the day. The time of the day, that carried with it the promise of hope. When they both made their secret wishes, dreamed all those secret dreams. Gave leave to all the hidden emotions that lay within their heart of hearts. Both hoping, that the coming day carried with it the promise that today would be better than yesterday.

As the days passed, and the comfort level between them grew, Faith began to talk to him, in the near dark. Whispering to him, as if he were just a shadow keeping her company, as if she were whispering to herself alone in the dark, alone like she had always been since she was a child.

During that time, Angel came to know Faith, the Faith that the world never got to see. The frightened little girl, who he knew had other secrets, secrets even she kept from herself. Secrets he knew, that even she was afraid to whisper to herself in the dark. Angel was the first person to see the woman that frightened child could grow to be.

Angel learned to read her expressions with just a glance. He was the one who had bought her the lifting gloves. He had seen panic in her eyes when someone had so thoughtlessly asked about the scars upon her hands.

The scars she now kept hidden. The scars that were etched upon her soul as well as her hands. Scars, still too painful to talk about with anyone but Angel. The scars of her own making, the scars even with her Slayer healing still remained. They were a reminder, like the scar on her stomach, of the Faith she never wanted to be again.

Faith reflected that she now had one more reason to think of this time of the day as special. Angel was her first.

In those pre-dawn hours, the vampire with a soul known as Angel was the first person to ever make Faith feel safe, not all alone in the worgivegive her hope and feel loved.

The second was upstairs sleeping in her bed; a secret wish Faith had made that she never thought would come true.

Faith curled herself into the chair. She rested her head against its high back, a soft beautiful smile played on her face. She raised her eyes towards the sky to watch the sun rise and to listen for the promises of the day.
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That was how Buffy found her, head thrown back, eyes looking up at the sky, smiling softly. She paused in the doorway and her breath caught in her throat, at the beauty her eyes beheld.

It frightened her a little, no, not just a little it frightened her a lot. This was only lust she told herself, but before Buffy could start dwelling on it, start to let the fear take control of her, start to retreat behind her safe wall; Faith turned towards her, her smile widening and held out her hand to Buffy in silent supplication.

Buffy moved towards her, as if being drawn by an invisible thread. She curled up into Faith's lap and together in silence, they watched the sun rise to a brand new day.
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"Morning," Faith whispered hoarsely, breaking the silence between them. The now familiar heat was rising in her just from having Buffy curled up in her arms.

"Morning to you too. Mmmmm, is that coffee I smell?"

Faith nodded and reached over, she picked up her cup from the table and handed it to Buffy.

Faith giggled at the face Buffy made after taking a sip. Then giggled again at the face Buffy made when she had giggled.

"Tell me you just didn't giggle." Faith's smile broadened. All Buffy could do was shake her head in wonder and smile back. She took another sip of the coffee without thinking.

"Jeez Faith, like some coffee with your sugar?"

"What? Too sweet, let me taste." Buffy handed her the mug. Instead of taking a sip, Faith put it down on the table, gathered Buffy close to her and leaned in for a kiss. It was a gentle, sweet kiss.

"Don't know B, thinkin' I need another taste."

Faith leaned down and kissed Buffy again, another sweet gentle kiss that quickly got out of control.

She parted Buffy's lips by lightly teasing her with her tongue. Pulling back, she ran her tongue over Buffy's mouth, thenned ned back in and deepened their kiss. Buffy felt the heat start to rise up in her, she couldn't believe the passion that Faith managed to create in her. It had never been like this before. Buffy pulled out of the kiss, her breathing already labored.

"Faith?" She whispered softly.

Faith looked at her, hearing the desire in Buffy's voice. She buried her head in Buffy's neck, licking her skin, tasting the sweat and desire there. Faith bit, nibbled, sucked on Buffy's neck, bit a little harder, sucked a little harder, and marked her. She heard Buffy's gasp, her breath catching in her throat.

"God B, you smell like Armani and sex. It's driving me wild." Faith's raspy voice sent another shiver of lust through Buffy.

Faith picked Buffy up - 'Love that Slayer strength!' - turning her so that Buffy was facing her, straddling her thighs. She opened her robe, exposing Buffy to the pale morning light, then pulled it completely off, throwing it carelessly to the ground. Faith let out a groan of desire as she felt how wet Buffy was already as she came down upon her thighs. Good god, they were turning into slut-puppies. They should have been worn out, tir tired, too sore, but Faith knew she was just as wet, was aching just as much for Buffy's touch as Buffy was for hers.

Faith nuzzled her face in between Buffy's breasts, her hands running up and down Buffy's thighs. She captured a harden nipple in her mouth, biting and roughly tugging on it with her teeth.

Clutching Faith's shoulders hard at the touf hef her mouth on her, Buffy practically snarled.

"Faith, don't tease me."

Somehow, her lust had gotten completely out of control in seconds. She needed, wanted Faith's touch right now. She didn't need, want, any foreplay, no teasingly soft touches. Gentle wasn't what she wanted right now.

Not even giving Faith a chance to react, Buffy rose up to her knees, and grabbed Faith's hand and showed her where she wanted it to be. She guided Faith exactly to where she wanted to be touched, how she wanted Faith to touch her.

"God B, so hot... you're so hot..." Faith husked as she let Buffy guide her hand to her slick center.

Faith could feel the flush of arousal hot across Buffy's skin. She slid her hand along Buffy's opening, plunging in three fingers, hard and fast. She used the heel of her hand and applied pressure to Buffy's swollen clit. She leaned back in the chair and watched as Buffy, her body arching, rode her hand. Her other hand reached up to torture Buffy's nipples.

"Feels... so... good... you feel so good!" She let Buffy set her own pace and followed her as Buffy increased the speed of her ride.

Buffy practically sobbed as she felt Faith reach down with her other hand and rub her clit between her fingers.

Faith thought she was going to come from just watching Buffy. She increased her thrusts as she felt Buffy's insides clutching her fingers. Buffy's essence was dripping down her hand, her wrist. She tweaked Buffy's clit, rubbed it harder, in circular motions, then back to capture it between her fingers. She knew Buffy was close.

"That's it... B... come on... " Faith kept whispering to her, encouraging her. With each word, Buffy felt her lust rise even higher.

"Faith... harder... Faith... I'm so close..." Buffy went wild on her hand. Faith followed her, thrusting into her harder, deeper, and faster. She captured Buffy's clit pinching it between her fingers, increasing the pressure.

"Show me B... oh god, show me..." Faith whispered, watching as Buffy stiffened, throwing her head back, trembling. Until finally as the last contraction ceased she collapsed into Faith laying her head down upon her shoulder, idly stroking Faith's neck.
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Buffy started to slide her hand down Faith's neck, over her shoulder, towards her breasts. Faith grabbed Buffy's wandering hand and brought it up to her mouth. Kissing first the back of it, then the palm, sneaking out her tongue for a quick taste. She let out a shaky breath, not believing she was stopping Buffy, she was going to need a very, very, very, long cold shower.

"No time B, you've gotta get home for Dawn."

"Not likin' that at all, not... at... all."

"Tell me about it B." Buffy leaned down and gave Faith a kiss that left her squirm soa soaking wet and her body screaming in need.

"No fair B." Faith gasped.

"Later, I promise later." Buffy said as she rose from Faith running into the house to get dressed.

Faith knew better than to follow her, if she did Dawn would be walking into an empty house.
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Faith walked into the Magic Shop on time that morning. Despite having absolutely no sleep the night before, there was a big smile on her face, and a lightness to her step.

"Morning all!" She said brightly very un-Faith-like and in a very raspy hoarse whisper.

Faith's smile broadened at the thought of what had made her voice even more raspy than normal. She had never thought of herself as a screamer, a talker yeah, a screamer no. Buffy had certainly disproved that theory. Her smile grew, getting almost impossibly wide; apparently, she wasn't the only one who was a talker and a screamer. Buffy's voice had been pretty damn hoarse too earlier this morning.

Faith noticed that the Scoobs and Giles were looking at her a little funny. They were probably wondering if she had gone psycho again, standing there with a very big cat-that-ate-the-canary grin on her face for absolutely no reason, at eight o'clock in the morning no less.

"What?"

"You're smiling, you and smiling, makes me nervous, smiling... nervous here."

"What Xander, I'm not allowed to smile now? Anything else I should know about? Cause I'll add it to my list." The smile leaving her face, her good mood evaporating.

'Christ, can't even smile, this is fucked up.'

Buffy walked in just then. She stopped short when she saw that everyone was staring at Faith. Xander and Giles both looked suspicious. Willow looked curious. Tara looked protective and Anya looked amused. Buffy looked at Faith who was standing with her arms crossed, her posture defensive, facing off against Xander.

"Faith what's going on?" Buffy's voice sounded even rougher than Faith's. Now everyone was looking at her funny.

"WHAT?" She yelled at the room in general, making her already strained vocal cords hurt even more.

"She was smiling." Hell that sounded lame to even him, stupid even. That didn't stop him though. "Why is she smiling? She never smiles unless she is up to something."

"Are you kidding me Xander?" Buffy croaked out and noticed that Faith smiled at the sound of her voice. "You're upset because Faith was smiling."

"See, she's doing it again." Xander pointed to Faith, his voice cracking on the last word.

Faith and Buffy looked at each other when they realized that Xander voice was just as hoarse as their own. That he had that same tired look on his face as they did, so did Anya, Tara and Willow for that matter too. Everyone it seemed, except Giles.

'Damn what the hell was in those drinks last night?' Buffy thought.

"What's the what with the voice dude?"

"He screamed a lot last night during sex." Anya croaked out and Xander turned beet red.

Faith wiggled her eyebrows at Buffy, and they both started laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Xander mumbled something about having to go to work and fled out the door. While Giles just said something along the lines of Yes, um, well, and practically ran for his office.

Buffy and Faith started to laugh even harder, Tara, Willow, and Anya joined in.
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It wasn't until later that day that Willow suddenly realized that Xander wasn't the only one whose voice had been very hoarse that morning. 'No way,' she thought to herself. 'There was just no way!'
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Sunday morning found Faith in the training room lying on the couch. One leg was hooked over the back, hands behind her head, eyes closed, headphones on listening to one of her favorite cd's. As Cordy would have said, Faith was pulling An Angel. She was laying there brooding, pouting at the empty room.

It had been ttlettle over two weeks since the night she and Buffy had spent together. It was, in fact, the only full night they had spent together. Faith was happy, miserable, up, down, left, right, frustrated, every damn emotion under the sky. Other than the fact that she and Buffy had their hands all over each other every chance they got, nothing much else had changed.

That goddamn, mother-fucking, son-of-a-bitch wall was still there. Every once in a while Faith would get a glimpse over the top of it, but that was all. The one concession Buffy had made was to trust Faith far enough to eat on her own but that was all.

'Woo Hoo! Look ma I can feed myself!'

General B was now a three star General instead of a four.

Faith knew she was being unrealistic to think that things would change overnight, just because they were sleeping together. That all of a sudden Buffy would forget about everything that had happened. Trust her just because she was good in bed, the cemetery, the bathroom, the training room, and anywhere else, they had a moment alone. Faith knew that just because Buffy was in lust with her, everything else Buffy felt about her would not just up and disappear. That didn't mean she couldn't help but wish.

Buffy was just as far away as before, still keeping everyone at arms length. In some ways, Faith felt like the distance between them had grown even more. Almost as if now that Buffy had let Faith into that part of her life, she needed to push her even further away from the rest.

All the late nights, all the emotional turmoil had exhausted Faith; she fell asleep on the couch. Probably one of the deepest sleeps she had since she had returned to Sunnydale.
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A little while later Buffy walked into the training room. She stopped in the doorway watching Faith sleep. Immediately she felt the heat rush through her at the sight of the Dark Slayer. It just added to the confusion of the last two weeks.

The morning after their brief shared laughter, Buffy had unconsciously slipped back into her armor the second after they finished their Tai Chi exercises. While she could now readily admit that she was in total lust with Faith that was all she could admit to. When she thought of how she was when she was with Faith, she didn't recognize herself. She had never been that way with anyone else; Faith brought out the wild side in her and it scared the shit out of her. A part of her wanted to stop this; and a part of her never wanted it to stop, and that frightened her even more.

She still didn't know if she could trust Faith, still didn't know what Faith was after. Was even more afraid to give Faith a second chance, because now she wasn't sure if it would be because she lusted after the Dark Slayer, or because she truly believed Faith had changed. There was still the anger, Buffy was still pissed over all that happhappened, perhaps even more now than before. So many conflicting emotions surrounded Faith, and what it was that she felt about her, it just added more onto Buffy's already overburden shoulders.

She had to give Faith credit though. Faith had attempted numerous times to try to get her to talk about what happened in the past, but Buffy rebuffed her every time. Faith had even tried to apologize to her again, but had stopped short at the look Buffy had given her, had even actually backed away from her.

She knew her anger at Faith was her last defense and subconsciously she wasn't ready to let it go. Once she did, there would be nothing left between her and what terrified her the most. What it was that she actually felt about Faith.

So Buffy did what was becoming increasing easier, and each time she did, it became less of a conscious effort. She retreated behind the wall and into her protective armor, letting only her lust out for the Dark Slayer, but not letting anyone or anything else out or in.

Had she been listening to anything Faith had been trying to tell her over the last few weeks; Buffy would have known she was heading down the path that Faith herself was all too familiar with. Would have seen that while Faith was moving closer to who she wanted to become, Buffy was moving closer to everything Faith never wanted to be again. In essence, the Slayers were changing places.

Buffy wondered if what was happening between them was part of some plan of Faith's to get her to trust her and let her back in.

'Really don't mind playing this game though.'

Buffy conveniently let herself forget, that it was she, who had initiated the first kiss. She, who had followed Faith into the bathroom at the Bronze. She, who had started them down this path in the first place. That it was she, who had initiated every touch between them since that first morning.

She shook the thoughts from her mind and walked over to the sleeping Dark Slayer. Reaching down she started trailing her hand along Faith's neck and collarbone.
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Faith was having one of the most erotic, heat-filled dreams of her life. Feather light fingers were touching her, drawing teasing patterns over her neck, down the hollotweetween her breast, up and over delicately to pinch a nipple, down acrher her stomach, circling her navel, down towards her center. To only veer away a second before they touched her there.

"B!" Faith moaned in her sleep, her hips rising in search of that touch.

'God,' Buffy thought she was incorrigible when it came to Faith. A part of her secretly pleased, that it was her name Faith had moaned out in her sleep.

Buffy reached down and delicately traced the contours of that beautiful face. Running her fingers over Faith's mouth, wondering if the same mouth that gave her so much pleasure was also lying to her. Leaning down Buffy kissed the slumbering Slayer awake.

"Hey sleepy head, shouldn't you be working out?" Buffy's voice was harsh with her desire.

Faith sat up quickly, still half asleep, totally misreading Buffy's tone. Forgetting about the headphones in her effort to sit up they managed to get all tangled up in her hair.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep." Faith mumbled an apology. Frantic, she tried to get the headphones untangled from her hair and just succeeded in getting them more tangled. She did not want to get Buffy pissed off, did wan want to hear whatever stinging remarks might come out of her mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" How the fuck, could Buffy go from kissing her to General B in just a second? Her frustration and anger was apparent in her tone. She was angry at Buffy for doing this to her, and angry with herself for letting Buffy do this to her, and her own reaction to it.

She was a little flustered by Faith's reaction to her casuards.rds. Had she really been that harsh, that demanding with Faith over the last few weeks, so much so that Faith was acting more like she had slapped her rather than spoken to her? She felt herself start to push the thought aside and for once, she stopped herself. She knew it was true, she had been treating Faith more like her personal verbal punching bag, rather than like a human being. She missed the cocky Slayer who gave back as good as she got, who little by little she had been pushing down, trying to break her spirit. Punishing Faith for the past, but not giving her any opportunity to make up for it.

For the first time since Faith had arrived in Sunnydale, Buffy felt guilty over the way she had been treating Faith and didn't try to fool herself into denying it.
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...is there something that you are trying to say ~ don't hold back now ~ it's been a long time since i felt this way ~ so don't hold back now ~ i purposely forgot about loving anyone ~ cause i'm the only one who has been stepped upon...
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"Here, let me help you." Buffy gently brushed Faith's hands out of the way and sat dbesibeside her. Looking at Faith, she wondered if she really knew her. Had she ever really bothered to try to get to know her at all, the first time around and now? Or had she just been content to look at only the surface, afraid maybe of what she might find if she looked beyond the Dark Slayer's Bad Girl exterior.

Faith stood up and moved away from Buffy the second Buffy got the headphones untangled from her hair.

Buffy rose quickly from the couch, placed a hand on Faith's arm and stopped her. She turned Faith until they faced one another. She ran her hand up Faith's arm, over her shoulder to behind her neck and pulled Faith's head down towards her.

"What about the oth..."

"They're not here." Buffy's said a second before her mouth claimed Faith's.

The anger, frustration, Faith was feeling merged with her desire and became a white-hot flame. She tried to fight against it, wanting to let herself be angry, but she gave up quickly, knowing it was a losing battle.

Buffy's tongue was like liquid fire in her mouth exploring every inch. Faith pulled back from the kiss gasping for air.

Seeing the chance, Buffy pulled Faith's t-shirt over her head, and ducking down took a nipple into her mouth. Coaxing it into a hard little nub, biting down on it until she heard Faith moan, letting go long enough to let Faith pull her shirt off.

She leaned back down again and swirled her tongue over and around Faith's breast, coming close to her nipple but never actually touching it, driving Faith insane. Reaching down she slid her hand up Faith's inner thigh coming to rest on her core. She moaned as she felt Faith's wetness through her shorts. She started flicking her tongue rapidly over Faith's nipple as she slid her hand back and forth over the Dark Slayer's center through her clothes.

Faith pulled Buffy up to her roughly and brought her mouth down in a demanding kiss, sucking Buffy's tongue into her mouth, capturing it with her teeth. They broke apart long enough to strip each other of their clothes. Kneeling Buffy pulled Faith down with her. They embraced their hands urgent upon each other. Laying back Buffy pulled Faith down, opening her legs, as Faith settled between them.

Both Slayers moaned as Faith lowered her body down on Buffy. Supporting her weight on her elbows, Faith slid her body along the deceptively soft one under her, eliciting another moan from Buffy.

Buffy ran her hands down Faith's back tracing the contours of her muscles, loving the feel of them as they moved under her hands. Faith skin felt like silk beneath her hands. She pulled Faith tighter to her wanting to feel the weight of Faith's completely nude body more fully upon her own bare flesh.

But Faith didn't allow Buffy that luxury for long, a little bit of her anger was still controlling her. She did not want to pretend this was more then what it was. Buffy wanted her to fuck her like a good little girl, so she would.

Faith raised herself up to support her weight upon her hands, pressing her hips into Buffy, to bring her wetness to join with Buffy's. She began a slow circular motion sliding heat against heat. Buffy bent her knees giving Faith fuller access to her, pressing her hips up to follow Faith's.

"B..." Faith moaned as her need came at her fast and furiously as it always seemed to between them. Losing her anger as Buffy reached up and gently caressed her face.

"Faith... so beautiful." Buffy whispered to her softly.

Faith pressed down harder into Buffy, her desire now raging out of control from that simple gentle caress, those softly spoken words.

Buffy stared up into that beautiful face locking her eyes with Faith's. All that she saw in Faith's eyes caused her own desire to rise up just as fast, as furiously, to match that of the Dark Slayer's. Without even knowing, all the other emotions, besides the lust Buffy saw in Faith's eyes when she looked at her was what really caused her to respond so completely to the Dark Slayer.

Faith began alternating thrusting hard into Buffy, with circling her center over and around and into Buffy. Sliding into and on the wetness that was both of them, increasing the tension, the heat, between them.

Buffy wrapped her legs tightly around Faith's hips meeting her with equal force.

Faith's arms were straining with her effort. Her eyes intense as she looked at Buffy, saying all she could not say, all that Buffy would not let her say.

"That's it baby... come on... " Buffy knew Faith was teetering on the edge. She watched Faith's face as it contorted with pleasure, her body beginning to tremble as she rose up the crest, almost frantic in her desire, hanging on the edge, so close.

Buffy reached down to slide her hand between their bodies, pressing her fingers up into Faith as she found Faith's clit with her thumb.

With that single touch, Faith lost control, thrusting hard into Buffy's hand. For just a brief second she saw what lay beyond the desire in Buffy's eyes. That was all it took to send her hurdling over the edge.

"B... god... B I lo...!" Her body started trembling almost violently, as she drove into Buffy's hand, once, twice, three times. Her voice strangling deep in her throat, stopping herself before she finished what she longed to say.

"That's it, cum for me Faith... cum for me baby..." Buffy moaned out as she felt Faith's body contracting around her fingers tightly, drawing her deeper inside.

Faith's arms gave out as her orgasm consumed her. She collapsed into Buffy, rolling them over on their sides. She reached down sliding her hand into Buffy's center, taking Buffy with her over the edge. Clinging to each other the Slayers rode out their orgasms, calling out each other's name.
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They lay holding each other until their bodies had quieted. Faith rose quickly and moved away from Buffy. She knew the routine, and wasn't about to make a fool of herself over something she thought she might have seen in Buffy's eyes during the heat of passion.

There would be no cuddling, no gentle words, no holding onto each other in the aftermath, no soft sighs, no light touches, gentle caresses, there never was, and Faith didn't expect it to be any different today. After all she wasn't Angel, or Riley, she was Faith Evil-Slayer, Faith the Get some, get gone girl. Only now, Buffy owned that particular title. Faith wasn't about to asked for something from Buffy that she knew would only lead to rejection. In some ways, Faith had begun to stop giving Buffy a second chance too.

Over the last two weeks, Faith got a very clear picture of how she had treated Xander the night she had taken his virginity. Throwing him out into the night in just his underwear, with the lame excuse that she needed to take a shower. She finally understood why he was still so angry with her.

Not for the first time the Dark Slayer underestimated her own self-worth and what she had to offer. Had she looked at Buffy's face before she pulled away she would have been surprised to see that the ice-cold look she had come to expect wasn't there. Instead, there was a gentle questioning in its place.
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...is there something that you're trying to say ~ cause i can take it ~ cause i grew up a man that way and if i'm hurt i'll shake it ~ i'll crawl back into my cave ~ that's how i'll make it ~ cause out of all this hurt we have ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...
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Buffy missed Faith the second she moved away from her, and realized the reason. It was always her who moved away first, never Faith. After that first night, there had been nothing between them afterwards, no gentleness, no nothing. And Buffy knew it was her fault. In her effort to convince herself that all she felt was lust, she had turned it into just that. Had pushed Faith into finally giving up, she could see it in her slumped shoulders as Faith walked out of the room without a word, without a smile.

Still Buffy just let her, trapped behind the wall of her own making. Unable, perhaps unwilling to take her share of the blame over what had happened, was happening now, at this moment between them. It was too easy to put the blame all on Faith's shoulders. Why had Faith given up now, now when she was ready to explore the possibilities? Buffy ignored, and she was getting so good at it, that she had not said a word, did not stop Faith from walking away. Had irrationally expected Faith all of a sudden to become a mind reader, expected Faith to know what she was feeling by using the connection that was between them as Slayers. Which Buffy handily chose to forget she had all but shut down between them.

She became angry at Faith for giving up; once again, Buffy placed the blame illogically at the Dark Slayers feet.

'What the fuck does she expect from me anyway? Does she expect me to do everything?' Buffy thought unreasonably. As she rushed to put her clothes on and leave the room, never once acknowledging that Faith had been the only one making an effort at all, while Buffy had been the one constantly knocking it carelessly away.
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The Scooby Gang entered the Magic Shop ready to go into full-scale marathon research mode. Two grimfaced Slayers gre the them. It turned out to be the highlight of the day.

Buffy spent most of her time watching Faith and thinking about all that had happened since Faith had arrived back in Sunnydale. That little bit of guilt she had been feeling earlier in the training room was eating away at her, making her reevaluate everything, Faith, herself, her own judgment.

Little by little as the day progressed, Buffy started to begin to see all that she had been ignoring over the last few weeks. The inner peace the Dark Slayer had found, and shared without reservation with her, Faith's calm confidence, her control when slaying. How she subtly and gently tried to let Buffy know she was shutting down, pushing people away. How Faith had not made any excuses to explain away the past, but had taken instead full responsibility for her actions. Did everything Buffy asked without questions or complaint despite all the abuse Buffy threw her way. Faith's repeated attempts to try to get Buffy to talk about the past, to clear the air between them, so they could move past it. The way Faith came to the Scoobs defense, turning if she could Buffy's tirade against herself and away from them. The way Faith had been giving, asking nothing for herself in return.

The Faith, Buffy had known, would have been out the door by now. Throwing a Fuck this shit, back in Buffy's face, regardless of the consequences. That Faith, would not have cared what the Scoobs thought of her, would have not even tried to make things right between them. That Faith, would have tried to use Buffy's tirades to get the Scoobs to turn against Buffy, not get Buffy to turn against her. That Faith, had lived behind a wall of indifference.

The Faith, that was here now, was not that Faith, was not even close to that Faith. Buffy knew, this Faith, would not leave she was here to help. Buffy knew, this Faith, meant it when she had said if Buffy dragged her away she would just come back, that Buffy would have to kill her to keep her away. This Faith, thought about the consequences of her actions, and lived every day with the consequences of her past actions. This Faith, cared what the Scoobs, Giles, Buffy thought about her, it was in her eyes, her expression, in her gestures and actions every day. This Faith, protected Buffy from Buffy's own actions and consequences at the expense of taking the hits herself. This Faith, did not hide behind a wall of indifference, did not hide behind anything, this Faith, showed the world what she felt. The only thing she ever hid was what she felt for Buffy, only occasionally letting it show when she thought Buffy couldn't see.

'Like she did this morning.'

Whether Buffy liked it or not, Faith had changed, and Buffy had been treating her no better than an unwanted pet; and in the last two weeks like her own personal whore. After that first morning, never had Buffy just held Faith, never once ed Fed Faith, for the simple reason of just because. Any contact between them was always initiated by Buffy, and Buffy used her, knowing Faith would not say no; because she knew for Faith this was more than just simple lust. Never once had she held Faith afterwards with the exception of the very first time. She would practically rip herself out of Faith's arms, which always released her reluctantly, until this morning. This morning Buffy had finally managed to kill a little bit of the Dark Slayer's spirit.

Faith had changed. Had changed even more the last two weeks thanks to Buffy, who was slowly but surely, strangling the spirit of the Dark Slayer and all because Buffy was afraid. Buffy looked across the room and saw pain, and sadness on that beautiful face, the pain, and sadness she had put there. She felt shame and loathing for herself rise up like bile in the back of her throat, what she didn't realize was that it showed in her eyes.

And sadly for the Chosen Two, Faith chose that moment to look up at Buffy.
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Faith saw the look of loathing Buffy was giving her, and recoiled from it. Did Buffy really hate her that much? Was all of this a game? The hope Faith had of ever making things right between them died in that instant.

'Stupid, stupid, how could I ever hope there could ever be anything between us? Why would she ever really want to be with me? Murdering, white trash me.'

Faith wanted to run, to hide, but she knew she couldn't, she wouldn't. Okay, so Buffy could never be with her, they could never be lovers, friends, she could learn to live with that... eventually. She would not walk away this was where she was suppose to be for now. She knew if Buffy continued down the path she was on, that at the end of it Buffy would be standing all alone. If that happened, she knew Buffy would not survive. Buffy had survived this long as a Slayer because of the people that surrounded her, and she could not lose them now. Not when she was facing an ex-god. Buffy needed them all, more than ever before.

She had fucked up; she should have never let this happen between them. She should have said no. Should have known better than to think they could be anything more when they weren't even friends, not even on friendly terms. When Buffy didn't even trust her, 't 't even think she had changed. She had fucked everything up; let her emotions get in the way of what needed to be done. Faith firmed up her resolve, determined that Buffy would learn from her mistakes.

Even if it meant that Buffy ended up hating her for it...

Even if it meant that she ended up hating herself again for it...

Faith hated herself already a little, for once again fucking up. She felt shame and loathing for herself rise up like bile in the bac thr throat, what Faith didn't realize was that it also showed in her eyes.

This time it was Buffy, who misread the loathing that was in the other Slayer's eyes and a little seed of doubt began to replant itself in Buffy's mind.

The day had just gone from, bad to worse.
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...in the mourning i can see the sights ~ no wonder i can never keep you satisfied ~ in the mourning i can see inside ~ myself and all the things that you were trying to hide ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...
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After almost ten hours of researching trying to find something, anything, to help them defeat Glory and getting nowhere and nothing, everyone was running on a short fuse. Buffy had managed to get herself promoted back up to a four star General again, and Faith needed to get out of the shop even if only for a few minutes. She offered to go on a coffee run, offered to buy, just to make sure they said yes.

Faith went into the training room to get money. As she pulled out her wallet, she saw the message light flashing on the cell phone Angel had given her. It was Angel; he wanted her to call him.

"Hey Cordy, Soul-boy there?"

"Hey Faith, he's here, hang on. ANGEL!!!" Faith moved the phone quickly away from her ear, she hated when Cordy did that. It felt good though to hear a friendly voice.

"He's gonna be a few minutes."

"K. So how is everything?"
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Wondering what the hell was taking Faith so long to come out of the back, Buffy got up and headed towards the door. She paused outside of the doorway when she heard Faith talking to someone on the phone. She felt a little guilty but she eavesdropped anyway catching only the tail end of the conversation.

"Yup, that's all she wrote."

"Faith be careful please... I don't want to have to worry about you." Angel emphasized the careful. He was worried about her he knew something was wrong, knew without her telling him that it had something to do with Buffy. There was something in her voice, as if she was a little bit broken, a little bit beaten down. She sounded like she needed a little T.L.C.

"No need. I'm five by five." Faith tried to make her voice light, she could hear the concern in his voice. They had come to know each other too well.

"You know I actually miss that whole five by five thing. Miss sharing the dawn with you; guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss having you around." So he wasn't the greatest at this kind of stuff, but he knew she understood him. He really did miss having her around.

Angel had found a kindred soul in Faith. After all the years of being alone it was good to have someone who understood what it was he was seeking. Who was seeking the same things. They gave each other hope that someday they would both achieve what it was they sought, redemption.

"Yeah, I miss that too. Nobody understands. I miss you too." There was such loneliness and longing in her voice, that Angel felt his heart bleed for her.

"Faith, things will get better. You know that don't you?"

"I do, and... I love you, ya know..." Faith said softly, letting her emotions carry to him through the phone. Those were three very hard words for her to say. She needed him to know though, because in the end she knew she was going to hurt him.

Buffy walked away from the doorway having heard enough. The seed of doubt began to grow. Instead of the sound of a wall crumbling, there was the sound of new brick being laid.

"Ditto." Angel smiled when he heard her laugh; she knew he had stolen that from one of his favorite movies, Ghost.

"Remember though it's just like in a brotherly way, Soul-boy!"

"Just know you can talk to me about anything." Serious again.

"'K, gotta fly now, Soul-boy. Talk to you soon." Faith sighed as she hung up the phone.

Angel was the only one she wanted to talk to about Buffy, and he was the last person she could talk to. She wouldn't, couldn't, hurt him for the world, but she knew eventually she was going to have to. It broke her heart a little. He had been, was so good to her, believing in her when she hadn't even believed in herself. Faith knew she would not be able to lie to him forever. Knew that he would not walk away even when she hurt him, would be there to support her, comfort her, and encourage her. Would help her once again find her way out of the darkness and into the light. He deserved better, so much better than this from her.

Faith grabbed her wallet out of the bag, feeling pretty shitty about herself at the moment.
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Faith ran out of the Magic Shop shouting she would be back in a flash. She didn't see the daggers Buffy was throwing at her back.

'Well at least now I know why she gave up so easily. Who the fuck was she talking to on the phone?'

Buffy was seeing red; although green would have been a more appropriate color. When she heard Faith say those three simple words, with such tenderness, heard the longing in hoiceoice, Buffy felt as if she had been stabbed. Her earlier feelings of guilt over how she had been treating the Dark Slayer were gone. Her short-lived belief that Faith had changed, was completely gone and the seed of doubt had grown into a grand old oak tree.

Had she kept listening with her Slayer hearing as she had walked away she would have heard as Faith said good-bye to Soul-boy. Instead, all hearheard was the roaring in her own ears.

Faith was fucking with her again. What kind of game was she playing this time? Buffy pushed aside the thought that jealousy was the cause of her reaction, jealousy of whoever was on the other end of the phone that Faith was in love with.

'Right, like Faith even knows the meaning of that word.'

You had to be in love with someone or at the very least care for someone to be jealous. Buffy knew, as sure as she knew her own name was Elizabeth Anne Summers that she didn't even l let let alone love, wasn't even remotely close to falling in love with the Dark Slayer.

'Maybe that's the game.'

Get her to fall in love with Faith, to only mind fuck her at the last minute. Play with her life, make Buffy the victim again? Well, Buffy wasn't going to let her, this time she was going to beat Faith at her own game.

Unfortunately, for the Scoobies, while Faith was out getting the coffee, they were hit with the beginnings of Buffy's storm...

...a storm that was slowly churning into a full-blown hurricane.
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...then you conned me into thinking ~ that all i had was you ~ the small insinuations were cutting me through cutting me through ~ and now i stand alone here ~ stronger than before ~ and i'll never go back never go back never go ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus bec..

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