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After The End Of The End	By : Eagleblaze Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Tara/Willow Views: 1775 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own the show Buffy The Vampire Slayer or the characters. This is for entertainment purposes and no profit is made from this.

Chapter List
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"Tara.. We should head home." Buffy said solemnly, lifting her to her feet, "We can't do anything more here.." Tara nodded slowly as Buffy steered her away, deep in her mind. She couldn't wrap her mind around Willow being dead. {We blamed her for something she didn't do, because of her past. Most of her past wasn't even her fault.. But we still..} Tara followed Buffy up the stairs of the apartment building, {She knew Buffy had planned on killing her because we thought she went.. Fully dark again.} Part of Taras mind told her it was understandable to think that with the past - and the fact that Willows hair and eyes were dark when they got there. {It was probably just because she was fighting someone with magic again.. But.. But she was still… her. I could hear it in her voice.. She was still regular Willow.} Taras heart lurched at another thought, {I hope she.. Hit her head when she hit the bookshelf.. I hope she didn't suffer..} The idea that Willow could have been trapped under a bookshelf as the area around her, and eventually herself, went up in flames, while she was completely aware… Tara blinked tears away when Buffy glanced at her, resting her hand on the doorknob. "Do you.. Need a second..?" {What am I supposed to say? I'm not ready to face the others and say it wasn't Willow, and she died protecting us despite how we treated her?} After a couple seconds Tara shook her head, and Buffy opened the door. It seemed the gang had been waiting, since they were all gathered on the couch, and looked up the second the door opened. Giles looked from Buffy to Tara, his face falling in realization almost instantly. He ducked his head, covering his eyes with a hand. Xander and Dawn weren't as quick to accept.
"You uh.. Didnt find Willow..?" Dawn asked quietly, her voice squeaky. Tara looked down, leaving Buffy to face the two.
"We.. Did find her." Dawn bit her lip and looked away, clenching her fists.
"Then where is.." Xanders voice trailed off as he came to the same conclusion. "No.. No, it cant be. She.. She cant… W-We thought before that she had.. And she didn't-!" Buffy gulped, glancing at Tara,
"It wasn't her.. We found her because she was fighting the actual guy and he had caught the library on fire. He.. Told us it was her and.. We believed him." She paused, "/I/ believed him. So.. When our focus was on Willow.. He went to attack Tara and I." Xander still shook his head in denial, looking at Tara briefly before looking back to Buffy, "..Willow saved us."
"..and then she defeated that.. Idiot.. Right?" Buffy squeezed her eyes shut,
"Xander.. I'm so sorry.. He.. He threw her into the burning building and.. There was no way we could.." She trailed off, and Xander stared at her in shock, his face soon hardening to anger.
"You left her! After everything shes done for you, you left her!"
"Xander.. There was nothing we could have done.." Tara squeaked out. He acted as if he hadnt heard her,
"This.. This is your fault! She.. She was innocent… And pure.. Until you came along, and made her-" Dawn stepped between Xander and Buffy. Buffy still had her head down and eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to hide the tears, but a couple still spilled out.
"/Made/ her to what, Xander? Made her become a scooby and fight evil? Willow was her own person, Buffy didn't /make/ her do anything. Willow made a decision to help save lives.. And she died doing that. She died a hero, Xander, and it was her decision." Xander bit his lip, shaking his head and slumping back onto the couch.
"I just… how.. Its.. Its /Willow/.. How can she be.." Buffy and Dawn shuffled over to sit next to him. Buffy reached a hand out to set on his shoulder, her voice cracked with grief,
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I couldn't save her for you… I'm sorry I couldn't save her for.." She trailed off. Everyone's gaze turned to Tara. Her head was down just as Buffys had been, her long hair covering her face to hide the tears that spilled endlessly, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Xander opened and closed his mouth like a fish, seeming to just now notice that he wasn't the one hit the hardest with this. While he had known Willow since childhood, he didn't know her as intimately as Tara had. Even with that small fling with the two in high school, Tara knew things not even Oz had known. Tara had known every inch of Willows body and mind, and Willows hers. When that type of bond was severed by death, it was a pain worse than anything else. Remembering how Willow had reacted to Taras death, everyone seemed to expect Taras hair to go dark any second. But all the poor woman could do was sob quietly, the noise of her cries choked back in an effort to stay strong. To not show how much she was hurting. {They said 'Was'! They're already using past tense! For Willow!} Tara screamed to herself, part of her denying what everyone was sure had happened. {This cant be real. Its like that nightmare from before, when she was in the hospital. I'll wake up any second.} Giles was the one who finally stood, ushering Tara toward the couch carefully,
"Tara dear.. Why dont you sit down and let us get you something to drink..?" Tara didn't respond, her stomach heaving as she tried to hold back more sobs. Giles sat her down gently, next to Buffy, and went off to the kitchen. While his sympathetic and grieving gaze eased with distance, Tara could still feel the others burning through her. It just made it that much real, too. Feeling the grief of the others. Giles set a cup of tea in front of her, but Tara didnt even look at it. She just stared at the wall, begging the gods for this to be a dream.

***

Willow struggled to open her eyes, her eyelids feeling really heavy. She coughed as consciousness swarmed back to her, surrounded by dust and dirt that made her chest feel tight. The only light source was a tiny crack between the fallen roof piece and the ditch, the lack of fresh air feeling suffocating. The effort of even moving an arm was painful and exhausting. Her whole body was painful, though. Burned, bruised and scraped, yet somehow functional. For a moment, as she laid there, only not being squashed by wood because of the dip in the ditch, she debated just giving up. Then she remembered why she had been fighting in the first place. Tara. Tara had been there with Buffy. Buffy had come to kill her, which she obviously didnt tell Tara about. But neither really surprised Willow. Had Buffy just killed her when she first went dark, this whole mess could have been avoided. Of course Tara wouldn't have liked that though, and Buffy probably didn't plan for her to come in the first place. Then they somehow found her during the worst possible part of the fight. Then the man tried to attack Buffy and Tara, and Willow had stopped him. The mere thought of the man having been so close to doing goddess knows what to Buffy and Tara made Willows skin crawl, but she forced herself to keep going over what had happened. After she stopped the man, he had flung her into the burning building.. Which was technically her fault in the first place. The door and hole in the wall had been blocked, but she had heard Tara call for her, then heard her and Buffy try to get in. As much as she had wanted to follow their voices, she had made herself escape… And then she was trapped in a ditch. She couldn't remember when the roof part landed, and she had been unconscious, so she guessed she had hit her head on something. Maybe just off the hard ground while panicking. {Amazing. On top of everything else, I might have a concussion.} Willow finally forced herself to move, crawling through the tight space with a grimace. The dirt wasn't loose, so pulling herself through it hurt her fingernails and exposed skin, but just the anticipation of fresh air made her move faster. She tried to lift the fallen wood first, groaning when it didnt move more than about an inch.
"Guess my non-existent dream of being an earthworm is coming true.." She grumbled to herself, raking her nails and fingers against the dirt barrier in front of her, shutting her eyes to avoid getting dirt in them. "Just keep swimming… just keep swimming.." She hummed to herself, trying to keep herself awake as exhaustion tugged at her. Her hands finally hit air, and she opened her eyes to take in the light, forcing herself to dig faster. Hearing a creak from the wood also fueled this, along with the sound of splintering. {Can i not catch a break?!} She heaved herself from the small hole she had made right as the middle of the wood gave way, splitting in half and falling into the ditch where she had just been. She coughed and gagged before gulping in the fresh air greedily, falling to her side and breathing heavily. After taking a few moments to collect herself, she focused her mind again. {Buffy and Tara know its not me now, right? They wont turn me away now.. Any of them.. Right?} Looking down at her torn shirt and ripped pants, dirt and soot covering the clothes along with almost every inch of her body. She noticed a small patch of blood on her pant leg and groaned. {Especially in this state..} She wasn't certain she would be able to walk all the way to the apartment, but she needed to try. Taking a deep breath and biting her lip, she forced herself up. She ignored the weird and startled look from people as she hobbled down the sidewalk, nearly falling with every step, the small mantra repeating in her head the only thing keeping her going, {Tara.. Tara.. Tara..} The door wasn't too heavy, which she was thankful for, but the steps proved to be tricky. Instead of risking walking up them, she crawled, wincing at every movement still. Her whole body felt heavy, like she was wearing soaked clothes. {Tara.. Tara.. Tara..} Once up the stairs, she forced herself to stand again. She wasn't quite sure why, but she did it on instinct. {Tara.. Tara.. Tara..} Willow paused in front of the door to Buffys apartment, her doubts resurfacing before she shoved them back down. She needed to try. Her hand was shaky when she lifted it, the knocking weak. She heard a bit of commotion inside before the door opened slowly. Before she had the chance to say anything, or even get a look at who it was, darkness swallowed her, and she crumbled to the ground.
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After The End Of The End