Fragments | By : neytirijade Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 5197 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. He also continues to get paid for it. I own a Washburn acoustic guitar and deathly adorable Pomeranian, and get paid through nothing but Social Security benefits. |
Prompt #10: Home / #11: Intimacy
The meaning behind the word "home" has always been a foreign concept to you. Sure, the exact definition just states that a home is where you live, where you return to at the end of the day. But home is where you feel safe; it's what you miss during a long road trip, or where you'd rather be than at work most times. It's often where your family resides, and sometimes, it's just among certain people or a certain familiar place that's not technically where you live.
But the truth is, you've never had that place. Never had somewhere to call your own, and certainly never had anyone who made you feel like you belonged.
You were only 10 when you first ran away from "home". It was four degrees below zero, and you barely lasted the 30 minute walk to the homeless shelter. When the doors opened, the volunteer working the night shift looked you up and down. Took in the bruises on your face, the small bag thrown over your shoulder, and your sad excuse for warm clothes before ushering you inside.
It wasn't much warmer, but you were given blankets. The teenager next to you gave you a look of pity- which you were old enough to already despise- and made light conversation, complimenting your Doc Martins and the golden four-leaf clover around your neck.
Just a few days later, you yanked the chain apart and threw the pendant in the garbage disposal. You hated it by association, because your mother gave it to you, and you weren't sure if you hated her but you knew you certainly didn't love her. Especially when she found you hours later at the homeless shelter, came up with some bullshit lie about the bruises she gave you the day before, and yanked you out into the car where you went home and she proceeded to add to those bruises.
Four leaf clovers were supposed to bring luck. What a crock.
The closest thing to "home" for you was the few short months you lived with your watcher, Diana. It was difficult at first, because she was telling you about all of these impossible and unnatural creatures; that you were next in line to be the one to fight them. You hated the discipline she carried out in order to train you, and you hated how fucking clean her house was. How you seemed so dark, so trashy, so out of place in such a beautiful and peaceful place.
Any semblance of home was ripped from you when Kakistos killed her.
You'd laugh at the prospect of Sunnydale being your home. Even the apartment the Mayor gave you; you knew it was bullshit, the way he cared for you (or maybe it wasn't? Whatever, he was evil) but you took it because no one else even tried to pretend you were wanted.
Maybe prison could have been considered your home for the few years you spent there. But when you believed home was more of a feeling than a place… Prison wouldn't even qualify.
You'd planned on returning to finish your sentence when the Hellmouth caved in. You were standing on the sidelines while the main group discussed their future plans; finally getting together to make a decision after you all had a week to regroup. You'd ridden it out as long as you could, staying with the others until you were kicked out. So when they were making their plans and asked you where you planned to go, you were a bit surprised.
You'd commented that it was nice for everyone to forget the prison sentence you'd not even come close to finishing, and left it at that. Everyone agreed when Giles told you you'd have a place at the new Slayers School or whatever they were planning; that your presence and expertise would be important in training the newly called Slayers.
Pretty surprised, no doubt.
That night, after you told them you'd consider it, Buffy came to your hotel room. When she asked you why you were considering going back to prison, your answer was simple.
"I was sentenced 25 to life, B. Didn't even serve three," you took a hit off your cigarette, blew it out the window you sat by, "I still need to pay for the things I did."
Buffy was quiet for a minute, and you braced yourself for her agreement.
"You already do." She replied. When you met her stare, she continued at the confusion you displayed. "I can see it in your eyes and in everything you do," she said, sitting across from you. "You pay for it every second, and it sucks."
You try to play off your shock. "Yeah, but I deserve it."
Her hand finds yours. Your shock increases.
"You shouldn't have to pay for it anymore, Faith. The way I see it, you've made yourself into a hero now," she tells you. "And you can do a whole hell of a lot more good with us than in prison."
You try to find more answers in her eyes; why did she trust you? Was this her forgiveness? Why would she forgive you for what you've done?
Buffy squeezes your hand. "Come with us, Faith."
And you're pretty sure nothing in the entire world could keep you from doing just that.
You find it in the Academy in Cleveland. Among the Scoobies- which you never thought possible. In the sea-colored eyes that look at you with more care than you've ever felt before. The smiles she gives you, the touches she shares.
Then you find it in her kiss. With each touch and caress of your skin, and each embrace. When you make love, you feel it when her lips brush against every inch of your body. You sense it when you're inside her, and when she slides inside you. It's in the laughs you share, the tears; in the secrets you reveal to each other, and every time she tells you she loves you.
You tell her this one day. You tell her it took nearly 23 years.
Her hands brush across your cheek, and you thank her; because with her, with the Scoobs and the other Slayers, in the Cleveland winter and in the heat of the summer, you've finally found a home.
I'm not too satisfied with this one. Lemme know how you feel about it, please! Reviews are love.
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