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Mirror	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 8848 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 9

Disclaimer: The original characters appearing in " Buffy
the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" are the sole property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy and Fox. Original characters, and the story, are the property of the
author. Oh and hey, writing this for love and insanity.

"We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves."

Goethe

1

" You're kinda quiet."

Willow turns off the ignition and sits next to Faith. They've
barely said a word on the way over.

" Is it something I did?" Willow asks, looking at
Faith.

" No�no" Faith reaches over, patting her leg.

Ok, that's so good to keep things on a rational level. Yeah,
sure it is!

" No, I'm just kind of weirded out by tonight�" Faith
trails off.

" I know, " Willow says," I mean, Buffy nearly
getting killed in the alley� enough to make one shudder just a little".

" That's just it," Faith turns to her, "
Something's off about that. Something's not right."

" Faith, I don't understand. What're you saying?"

" it's weird, I know. But it felt like it was all stage
managed."

" You mean, like it was some kind of game?"

" Something like that� aw, I'm just being stupid. You
know?"

" I don't think you're stupid, " Willow says. " I
mean, you've got all these slayer instincts, you know? "

" That's just it. I went out the back door. And Buffy
screams for help. So I go for her, but then she's like warning me about some
vamps in the shadows. Huh? I mean, why aren't they attacking her?"

" Maybe they saw you? Wanted to jump you or
something?"

" Yeah, that's what I thought too. But I only saw the two
when I went out. Where were the others? Why weren't they attacking Buffy,
too?"

Willow's brow furrows. " Well, you know, Vamps have that
super hearing thing going. Maybe they heard you coming?"

" Maybe�" But Faith doesn't sound convinced. "Ok,
so with Buffy's warning I looked at the vamps hiding out. Next thing I know,
Buffy's free, and the two vamps holding her? Dust. Why didn't that happen
before?"

" Maybe there were more, and she already dusted a few when
you came out, and these two happened to have just grabbed her."

" Maybe. But �when I hit the vamps in the shadows, one
slipped by me, and got Buffy. And she wasn't doing so well against him. He had
her on the ropes, ready to bite when I dusted him."

" She's not a slayer anymore, Faith. Maybe she just ran
down� who knows how many she took out before you got there."

" Well, ok, if the attack was against her, why so many? I
mean, she's just a human now. Why'd whoever set it up, send so many?"

" Well, maybe they all wanted in, just because they felt
betrayed."

" Or maybe, it was supposed to be against me?" Faith
looks away," Maybe they were trying to bag the slayer."

" Ok, Faith, maybe you are in paranoid city now. I mean,
you seem to be saying you think Buffy had something to do with this, she set it
up?"

"No� You're right, she almost got killed. I'm being an
idiot."

" No, you're not. Things don't seem to fit, and you're
trying to figure it out. I can see that, so don't get down on yourself,
ok?"

"I just wish I could figure out why it felt wrong to
me," Faith sighs.

" Well, Faith, maybe you're right. Maybe it was aimed at
you. Maybe they saw you come in, and decided to group together to take you out.
You've been busy making life miserable for them. And maybe, they set it up so
you'd follow that vampire out. But it was Buffy instead, and they'd seen you
together, so they held her, until you showed up."

" Ok�yeah, that works. But why didn't she like yell "
TRAP!" or something. She called for help, and then warned me about the
others as I was charging in. And I swear I heard some of them calling her a
traitor, and stuff. And if it was meant for me, why'd she say it was part of
her old crew?"

" Maybe it was, Faith. And maybe they were after both of
you. and maybe she got a little scared and panicked, you know?"

" Yeah, you're right. I'm just being stupid, " Faith
frowns. " No wonder she calls you big brain. You're pretty darn
smart."

" Thanks, "Willow blushes. " But it's not stupid to
question things if they don't seem right. Just, sometimes you gotta dig to find
the answer."

" Even so, I should've know better than to suspect she
might � you should've seen her at the magic box the other day�"

" What do you mean?"

" Oh, the first day we were supposed to go out looking for
the nests�"

It takes about 15 minutes, but Faith explains about the fight,
and the stuff after at the magic box, carefully editing out the raging hormone
sexual vibe stuff. By the end, Willow's face is ashen under her freckles.

" That poor girl!" Willow says, sad and angry at the
same time. " God what monster did to her. I'm glad she dusted him, or I'd
make him pay in a special hell all his own!"

Faith gets a little nervous, because she swears she sees
Willow's eye's go black.

Ok, freaking here, just a little

" Yeah, and the worst thing was her blaming herself. Saying
she was the reason it happened, and for what happened after."

" Sounds like she's suffering from PTSD, " Willow
says.

" I'm sorry, is that like a sexual disease?"

" No! Post traumatic stress disorder. Often times victims
of traumatic experiences will not be able to deal with them. One symptom is the
victim blaming themselves for what happened. Taking on guilt, because it's a
way of avoiding dealing with what actually happened."

" She's�nuts?"

"No, but she might need help. Professional help."
Willow frowns. " We'll just have to keep an eye on her. If she starts
doing crazy things�"

" Too late for that, Red."

" I mean, really crazy things. Trust me, what she's been
doing now has only been ways of coping. I'm talking thrill seeking, or a
radical shift in behavior, or serious depression, or suicidal thoughts. Stuff
like that. We start seeing that, we might have to step in for her own
good."

Damn!

" Look, Red, gonna tell you something. Don't know what it
means, but it doesn't seem like the normal Buffy."

Faith tells her about the bedroom , and other stuff that's been
going on. Willow is a little wide eyed by the end.

" Ok, gonna admit, that doesn't sound like her. But I
talked to her too, and maybe she's not lying. Maybe it's a carry over from her
being a vampire. Maybe she just really does love sex. A lot."

" I dunno, it's all just weird to me�"

" Weird?" Willow catches a note in her voice. "
Faith, how do you feel about all this?"

"Huh?"

" Ok, well, what kind of feelings do you have about being
with Buffy a lot during these past few weeks?"

" I dunno. Kinda nice, in some ways. She's been really good
on the slaying stuff. Other times, kinda wiggy."

" Times like maybe you feel she's coming on to you?"

" Maybe," Faith's voice drops to just above a whisper.

" Do you think, maybe, you're developing some feelings for
her� umm� warm feelings, and the idea might be wigging you out? And maybe all
the questions are you're way of trying to avoid feeling these things?"

" I dunno�I'm really kind of confused when it comes to
that. I mean� right now? With what we're doing? I'm thinking I'd rather just keep
it friendly�and not much more� and I think Buffy agrees."

" Ok, " Willow says quietly, " but you know �it's
not unusual to work with someone closely, like you and Buffy do, and for a bond
to develop� and possibly some intense feelings happen." Willow puts her
hand on Faith's , " And for those feelings to be reciprocated."

" Re-who?" Faith asks. And she's very aware of
Willow's hand on hers.

" Sorry. Returned
in kind. i.e. Buffy might feel the same about you."

" Oh." Faith sits for a moment, and realizes that
somehow Willow fingers have laced with hers. " Is this that crush thing
you were mentioning before?"

" Yeah, I mean, hey who could blame her? You're a very
attractive woman, really alive and funny, and smart, and it'd be very easy to
be attracted to you�" Willow trails off. Like, for instance, me?

" That's funny,
because Buffy was kind of saying you were crushing on me."

" Oh." Willow is suddenly doing her best not to look
at Faith. But her hand doesn�t move away.

Faith, however notices the avoidance.

"Red?" No response." Willow? Would you look at
me, please?"

" I'd really kinda like not," Willow says, still
looking out the driver's side window.

" Is it true?" Faith asks, softly. " Are you kind
of crushing on me?"

" Maybe?" Willow says in a very soft voice.

" Oh." Faith is staring straight ahead again. She's
trying to process this, but Willow's hand laced with hers? Major
distraction. Also, major tingling.
And�"You know, that isn't really freaksome to me."

" Huh?"

" The idea. I mean, you're cute, and funny� and charming,
and you have the prettiest eyes."

" You think so?" Willow turns to her, just as Faith is
turning to Willow.

" Oh." The say in unison.

Both get a major blush.

" And your smile?"
Faith goes on.

They don't even realize it, but they're moving together.

" It's just so �and when you smile�the room seems to light
up�did �you�know�"

Faith doesn't finish, because their lips have come together.
It's a warm friendly kiss. And then Willow's mouth opens, and it goes to
another level. Faith's tongue slips into her mouth, and then Willow's sucking
on it, enjoying the taste. And then Willow's tongue finds its way into Faith's
mouth, and Faith is sucking hers."

Mmmmm� this is nicer than I thought it'd be, Willow thinks, And I was thinking major
niceness. And Oh my� does she know kissing or what? And her lips�so soft�and�

Willow pushes Faith
away, breaking the kiss. She's panting just a little.

" Maybe we
shouldn't be doing this? I mean� Buffy and feelings and�"

Then they�re kissing
again, and Willow sighs softly

Faith for her part is
feeling her heart start to rev in her chest, and she's loving the way Willow
sucks on her tongue, and the way Willow's tongue tastes�and she's wondering why
her nipples are so damned hard.

The kiss breaks again,
and both are panting pretty heavily.

" Ummm� ok, maybe
I should be going home now�"

" Maybe"

And then they're
kissing again, and Faith finds herself starting to lay back on the seat�and her
head clips the side of the door.

" Ow!" She
cries out. She sits up, rubbing her head.

" Maybe we
shouldn't be doing that, " Willow ways. " Poor head" She kisses
Faith's head.

" Or maybe, we
shouldn't be doing that in here?" Faith whispers softly.

Without knowing how,
they find themselves outside of the car. And then, Willow seems to magically be
in Faith's arms, and Faith is lifting her and carrying her. All while their
lips are locked together. And their tongues are dancing in each other's
mouth�and then they're at Willow's front door.

" Think we should
go inside?" Willow asks.

" Think so, "
Faith agrees.

And Willow's digging
through her purse for her keys, and then they seem to be inside, and the door
is closing behind them.

Willow slips out of Faith's
arms. And then, Faith has her pinned against the wall, kissing her. And
Willow's arms are around Faith's neck, and she wraps her legs around Faith's
waist, and the kiss seems to last forever, and that's not long enough.

" I'm kind of
thinking I'd like to be laying down right now," Faith breathes heavily,
when the kiss breaks.

" Me, too,"
Willow says.

And their stumbling
back towards Willow's bedroom. And somehow clothes seem to fly off by
themselves, because by the time they make it to Willow's bed, both are half
naked.

" Ummm�ok,"
Faith gasps when this kiss ends.

" Yeah, definitely
ok," Willow agrees.

And then they're
tugging at each other's remaining clothing and that's gone because they're naked
when their bodies fall on the bed. And somehow they become entwined in each
other. And are kissing again. And then they roll over, and hands are seeking
and caressing each other

What's happening here? Both think at once. Then thinking
stops.

And Willow is kissing down Faith's body, and Faith is having a
happy, a definite happy. And when Willows warm lips find her nipples, and start
suckling her, her happy starts to warm in her belly. And her hands seem to be
all over Willow's back and ass�and then Willow slips down, and her lips are
tickling Faith's tummy, and her tongue is licking her navel, and Faith's happy
starts to grow bigger, and hotter.

And when Willow's lips touch her sex, lighting bolts and fire
run throughout Faith, and all of a sudden her face is flushing, and her happy
is getting so happy she isn't laughing, but screaming. And a wave of pleasure
runs over her�followed by a brief calm as another wave hits her�then another�
and another� then she rather loses count.

And when she can count again, she looks down, and Willow, face
rather dampened by Faith's enthusiasm, is crawling up her, grinning from ear to
ear.

" What the fuck just happened?" Faith asks hoarsely.

" I think it's called cumming, honey, " Willow
giggles. " I think you did it quite a few times."

" Funny, Red, really�" But she's cut off by Willows
lips. And she tastes herself on them, and isn't hating the taste.

And then suddenly Willow's sex is rubbing gently against hers.
And then it's not so gentle, and hers is rubbing back, and then they roll on
their sides and legs and arms become entwined but the don�t' seem to notice
because their sexes seem to be trying to rub through each other. And then
they're both moaning, and then groaning,
and then screaming as they are drowned in a tsunami of pleasure.

" Did you?" Faith asks.

" Oh yeah. Did you?" Willow replies.

" Oh yeah."

And then Faith rolls Willow over, and she's straddling her and
the kissing is happening again�and then Faith starts working her way down
Willow's body. And Willow is squirming and mewling, loving the way Faith's lips
are kissing her�and kissing her in places she hadn't considered before�and then
Faith is low � lower � lowest, and Willow's hips seem to open like a flower,
and when Faith's tongue slips in her, Willow's mewling and moans become groans.

Maybe she's never done this before, Willow, panting, thinks, but she's got it
down pat.

And then she stops thinking, because her brain seems to fall apart, and she hears screams, and realizes
she's screaming and she's shuddering hard because god she's in heaven.

And they kind of spent the night that way, on and off.

2

Buffy looks out over the moonlit street.

She sighs, and looks again at the small clock on her night
stand. It's been over two hours since
Willow drove off.

Where is she? What's she doing? Why's it taking so long?

Buffy, in anticipation, has prepared special for this night. She
is wearing what she thinks of as her sexiest nightgown. It's a full length gown
of white lace. It's modest, until it's backlit. Then it becomes almost
transparent. Suggesting a innocent naughtiness. She's hoping, once Faith gets
back, to be waiting in her room, by the window, moon backlighting her gown.

Where IS she?

Buffy paces. She's so horny right now, she almost wants to pop.
And Faith, for the first time since coming to live with them, is MIA. Damn,
Buffy curses to herself, why now? Why tonight? God, I want to make her
happy, so happy�and she bails!

A terrible thought occurs to her, but she shoves it away as
ridiculous. But like a jack in the box, it pops right back up.

What if they got to kissing�and it kind of got out of
control?

She feels ice crystals forming in her tummy, but refuses to give
the thought weight because it's so utterly ridiculous

Why would she choose
her over me? Why? I don't understand it�

But she refuses to believe it. She pushes it down and away.

She probably went for
a sweep� and is fighting. I could go out and check� but then she'd get weird
about it, and think I was following her around. No�just have to wait. She'll be
back soon. I know she will. I know it. And when she does get back, I'm gonna
rock her world.

Buffy yawns, and realizes she's really tired. She lays down, and
thinks about Faith, and how she 'saved' her, and the cross�and slowly her eyes
close.

Just for a minute.
Just rest my eyes for a minute�

Buffy starts awake, and looks around.

Damn, what time is it?

She looks at the little clock, and groans.

Two hours! I slept for two hours. She could've come home any
time. She could be asleep by now. Shit.
Damn. I blew it!

Quietly, she gets up, and glides to her door. Looking out,
seeing it's clear, she quietly goes to Faith's door.

It's ok, it's ok. I'll just look in on her. Maybe I can slip
in next to her. That'd be cool� holding her would be good.

Buffy opens the door, and peeks in.

The ice crystals become ice bergs.

She's not HOME! Where
IS she?

And the awful thought, so mild before, slams in her head like a
truck.

No� that couldn�t'� she wouldn't�They wouldn't�.oh �.

Slipping back to her room, she slips out of her nightgown. She
quickly dresses in pair of jeans, top and boots, and quietly slips out her
bedroom window.

She runs down Revello drive, running at top speed. She has to
know what the situation is, what's happened to Faith.

Oh god, what if I'm wrong and Faith is hurt somewhere? Dying
somewhere? Shit, I should�no. Willow's first, then I'll start checking
hospitals!

Buffy arrives at Willow's house , and leaning on her knees,
catches her breath. Ok, advantage
vampire. You never lose your breath. Don't have any.

Her breathing under control, she shinnies up the tree leading to
the roof. She knows exactly which window is Willow's bedroom. She used to come
here late at night as a vampire, watching her sleep. She thought it was amusing
and cute that Willow still cuddled up with a stuffed bear.

She hopes she'll still be amused.

Quietly she makes her way to Willow's window. For a brief
second, she debates looking in. Do I really want to know? I have to know!

She crouches down, and looks in.

And her world falls
apart into a thousand sharp pieces.

All cutting her heart.

Faith and Willow are sleeping in her bed, cuddling.

She feels like she wants to scream. Then puke. Then scream
again.

She quickly makes her way back to the tree, and down to the
ground, almost falling out of the tree in her haste.

When she hits ground, her legs fail her, and she sits down
hard, leaning against the tree.

Her mind won't work, it's a cesspool of emotions. Rage mixes
with hurt mixes with despair. Only one word keeps flashing through her mind

NO!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Her whole body aches, everything hurts. Just hurts. She bangs
her head against the tree a few times, hoping the pain will be less than what
she's feeling.

Hot tears course down her cheeks, and she bites her hand hard to
keep the sobbing away.

Slowly, nearly half an hour later, she brings herself under
control.

It's cool, it�s all cool, She thinks to herself. It's what I wanted� just not the when. I
wanted her first, but maybe this is best. After all, she might have her first,
but I'm gonna have her last!

Buffy stands, and waits for a moment as the dizziness passes.
She pushes down the hurt, shuts away the rage. She breathes slowly, to get her
emotions under control. She starts to walk back home, and she knows that she can
deal, she can deal.

If only the tiny ache in her heart would go away.

3

Faith blinks as the morning sun hits her eyes. She opens them
just enough to see�and smiles.

Willow is sleeping on her chest, hands resting on her belly. Her hair is all mussed, and she's snoring
just a little. It has to be one of the cutest things she's ever seen.

Then she sighs, being hit with a major case of the guilts.

Wasn't supposed to happen. This really wasn't supposed to happen!
God, I'm such a bitch. I don't love her. And she's gonna be so upset when I
tell her� Shit, I really like her, too!

Faith gently moves Willow off her chest, and sits up. She looks
out the window .

A pair of arms encircle her waist, and a warm pair of hands cup
her breasts. A head leans on her back, and a soft sigh greets her.

" Hey," Willow says, a little sleepily.

" Hey," Faith answers, her mouth dry. Now what do I tell her?

" That was nice, " Willow coos softly.

" Really nice, " Faith agrees. She sighs heavily.

"What is it , cutie?" Willow squeezes her breasts.
" Still horny?"

" God, no!" Faith has to chuckle. She puts her hands
over Willows. " I think you did a good case of curing the hornies last
night. At least for me!"

" Mmm� me too, Willow sighs. " I feel so good right
now. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't feel better!" She kisses the
back of Faith's neck.

" Ah, man, I wish you wouldn't do that, " Faith says.

" Why not? Don't you like it?"

" A bit too much. But Red, I've got to be honest here. I� I
really don't love you. I like you , a
lot. But�"

"Well, of course not, silly," Willow snuggles closer,
" I don't love you, either."

Huh?

" Huh?"

"I've got this big crush on you, and you've got to be the sexiest
thing going. But I love Tara, and that hasn't changed, darling. But, doesn't
mean we can't �have some fun, you and me."

" Wow, " Faith chuckles." I was so worried I was
going to break your heart, and it looks like it was only my heart in
danger."

" Oh, no. Nothing like that. You couldn't fall for me,
anymore than I could for you. You love Buffy."

" Ok, I'm going to repeat myself�huh?"

"C'mon, Faith. Don't be dumb. We both know you've got major
feelings in there�" She taps Faith's heart," And I'm thinking they're
getting bigger every day." She kisses Faith's neck. "What we did last
night? Wow. Loved it, really loved it. I needed it more than you know. It's
been so long since I've been held. Since someone looked at me like that. Wow.
Double Wow. By the way, Faith? You are one superb lover. Buffy is going to be
one lucky girl once you both stop thinking about it and just do it. But really, honey, one night a love doesn't
make. I really care for you. I think I always will. But love? Nope, sorry. But�"
She giggles, and her hand slips lower on Faith's body, " doesn't mean we
can't make each other feel really nice, Now be a good girl, and lay back, and
let me make you really feel nice!"

" God, I'd really love to, But I've got to go�"

" Do you gotta gotta? I was thinking, I'd get up, make us
breakfast, then we'd have dessert," Willow giggles," then maybe
another dessert. Did I tell you I've got this wicked sweet tooth?"

" That sounds so nice�I mean� what you did to me last
night, made me a little�no, a lot crazy� but I really�oh�ok, now that's not
fair!"

Willow's hand has started rubbing her in her favorite place.
Faith lets out a huge sigh � and lays back down

" I'm kinda craving sweets�"

Willow giggles, and disappears under the covers.

4

Buffy walks along seemingly in a daze.

The sun is coming up on the horizon, but she doesn�t really
notice it. She doesn't really seem to notice anything.

Everything around her seems dead. The trees look skeletal, the
birds are all black, singing a dirge. Though the air is warm, it feels icy on
her skin. And inside her, her heart seems to have stopped beating.

All that's there is ice. A large chunk of ice filling her,
chilling her. Killing her.

She looks up, and notices she's reached home. Strange, but she
doesn't seem to know it. The flowers and bushes around the house all look dead
or dying, the grass is a grayish brown. The trees are leafless and lifeless.

The house itself is drained of color. All she sees are whites
and blacks and grays, shadow play without any color. She finds her feet moving
up the walk . Why, why, why? Why am
I here? I don't belong here! But her feet continue walking, and she follows
them.

She climbs the porch stairs, not caring about the creaks and
squeaks. She shivers, as if feeling a pair of icy arms wrapping around her.
Digging through her pocket, she finds her key. She opens the door and quietly
slips in the house.

Inside the house it's dark, but it doesn't seem to matter. Her
feet know where to go. She climbs the stairs, quietly, and then walks down the
hallway to her room. She opens the door and shuts it behind her.

Walking to her dresser, she opens the drawer and pulls out a
small knife. It's very sharp, and she's very careful handling it. Getting the
metal trash can from the corner, she walks to the closet.

She's in the closet, and pulls down the ladder, climbs it and
raises it again even before she's aware she's done it. Closing the panel, she
grabs the light and makes her way to her place. Her 'special place'.

She sets down the trash can and knife, and moves to the wall.
Her wall. The wall of her goddess. Her moon goddess. She pulls off a picture,
and tears it, and then another and another and another, tearing each. Soon all
the pictures are gone except the large one.

She takes the debris, and drops it in the trashcan. Going to the
little table by the bed, she opens a drawer and takes out a box of matches.
Walking over to the trash can, she strikes a match and watches as its flare
hits the paper, burning the pictures. She watches the fire as it burns
brightly, putting her hands out to warm them because she's so cold. So very
cold. But the fire doesn't warm her, only freezes her. She moves away, watching
the flames dance as the images of her goddess turns to ash. She watches until
the flame lowers, then sputters, and finally dies. It is smoky in the room, but
she doesn't care, doesn't notice. She coughs, and moves to the only picture
left. Smiling, she leans in and kisses it tenderly.

" I understand, lover. I do, I really do. Willow is sweet,
very sweet. I love her too. " She
kisses the picture again. "We'll
be together, all of us, Very soon, I promise you." She moves to the table. Picking up the knife
, she stares at it. She pushes up the sleeve on the top, and draws the knife
across the skin.

" little cuts, shallow cuts, " She hums to herself,
over and over. She looks up, startled. " No, baby, don't worry. I'm just
punishing myself. I've been such a jealous bitch. I need to be punished. I
deserve it, don't you know?"

" little cuts, shallow cuts" She hums, crisscrossing
the cuts. She watches as tiny drops of blood bead on her skin. She licks them,
seeking comfort.

" Surely you've heard the expression rubbing salt in
the wound, Slayer!" Spike's voice taunts her.

She is tied to a pole, her legs splayed and bound to the
floor. Her sex has been shaved, and Spike is standing over her, grinning.

In one hand, he holds a sharp, very sharp knife. In the
other, a small container of salt.

" Now we all know how much rubbing salt into a wound
hurts. But I wonder� how would it feel here?" He draws his finger across her sex. She shudders in revulsion.
" Oh, like that did you?" He grins at her maliciously.

He shows her the knife, " Now the trick is, little
cuts, shallow cuts. We don't want a lot of blood washing out the wounds. Just
enough to penetrate the skin, expose the nerves. Give the maximum effect. So,
what say we get started?"

He lowers the knife towards her.

"little cuts, shallow cuts, " She hums, her hot tears falling on the wound. She
sighs at the pain the brine of her tears causes her. She licks, and more tears
fall. Lick and tears, lick and tears. Finally, she just rubs the tears in, increasing the pain exquisitely. She falls back on the bed, and her head
turns to the side, looking at her moon goddess.

" I've been a horrible, terrible ,ugly, jealous bitch, I
know my sweetness. But I'll be better, I promise. I'll be worthy of your love.
I swear it."

She falls into a sweet doze, smiling.

5

Faith walks through the morning sunshine, loving the way the sun
warms her skin. She sighs, happily and sadly.

She feels wonderful.

She feels terrible.

Damn, why can't I make up my mind?

Willow has shown her a new side of sex she hadn't considered
before. A softer, sweeter side. She touched buttons Faith didn't know she had;
didn't know existed. It was incredibly
wonderful. Sweet and wonderful, soft and delicious.

It's brought her to a new place, a place she wants to explore.
And Faith, she's all about the exploring of sex. She knows who she wants to
explore it with. Holding her close, touching and kissing her as they walk the
wilds of this strange new land.

Red was dead on. I really wish she weren't because it freaks
me to Saturn. But I know she's right, because I get this intense happy when I
think of her, and I get this awful burning pit. It makes me feel great and
awful. How fucking weird is that? I want her, I love her, and it's killing me.

She knows, she wants, and that's what brings the terrible. The
sweet, sweet, terrible.

She feels like a cheater. She feels she's betrayed her, hurt
her. She feels like a slut, a whore. Thinking with her hormones instead of her
head.

She wants to feel cheap, and dirty, and wrong. And she
can't, and that bugs her too. I've
slept with someone else. A girl someone else, and I should be dying here. I
should be feeling like dog crap. I should, and I don't.

If she did, she would
cheapen what she and Willow shared. And she really likes Willow, and making
what they did cheap and dirty? Would be hurting her. And she doesn't want that.

And it was good, really good. It wasn't tawdry, it wasn't dirty.
It was sweet, and nice, and happy. No, she can't feel bad about doing it, and
doing it with Willow. She just can't.

But she can feel like crap because she knows she'll hurt Buffy,
and that puts ice in her heart, and this incredibly hot ball of pain in her stomach.
She wants to see her so bad it hurts. She wants to shout how she feels to her
until she's hoarse. And she wants to hold her forever in her arms, kissing her
and loving her.

And she wants to hide, feeling like a slutty bitch in heat. A
dog, who doesn't deserve shit.

And how weird is all this? Weird. Way weird.

Too weird for her to figure out.

She reaches the house on Revello drive, and stops a second,
enjoying the green of the lawn, and the colors of the flowers in the garden. Yeah, and stalling your ass from going in,
right babe? She sighs, hating when she busts herself. But she knows it's
true, and she really doesn't want to go in now. Too many questions, too much to
deal with. She's just not ready for it now. So, she wanders over to the tree,
and leans against it, looking at the pattern of sun and leaves. Feeling the
warmth on her face, and sighing heavily.

She'll just wait here a few. Until the ice in her heart melts a
little. Sending down a trickle to cool the burning in her tummy.

Then she can go in. Face the music.

And take her licks.

6

Buffy wakes up coughing.

She looks around and notices a smoky scent to the air.

"What?"

She looks around and notices the little trash can with all the
ashes in it. And it starts to come back.

The waiting.

The running.

The seeing.

The dying.

She looks up at her wall, and shrugs. She knows soon she won't
need this altar anymore. She'll worship at her moon goddess's feet. It'll all
be good. Better than good. Exquisitely wonderful.

She touches the picture on the wall, and kisses it lightly.

" I love you, I always do. No matter what, I love
you." She caresses the flat cheek, then moves to gather up the mess.

Leaving the knife, she grabs the can, touching it. It's cool.
She looks around, and finds some newspaper. She covers the ashes with it, and
leaves her cubbyhole.

Slipping down the ladder, she enters her room, and picking up
any other debris she wants gone, she head for the hall.

She slips downstairs, and finding an empty trashcan, dumps the
contents of her waste basket. She leaves it outside to air, and sneaks back in.
She's up the stairs and back in her room before she hears her mom stirring
around. Whew. Hate to have to explain that!

She doffs her clothes, and slips on a robe, heading for the
bathroom.

" Buffy?" Her mom calls out from her room. Buffy walks
to Joyce's room, and peeks in.

" Mom?"

" Honey, have you been smoking?"

" What? Geeze, mom, do I look that stupid? Oh, you mean the smell? Uhh� I was out
walking earlier, and I think they're doing some road work up the street. Maybe
that's what you smell?"

" Yeah, maybe," she frowns. " I wish they
wouldn't do that so early. It stinks."

" Oh yeah. Well�" Buffy shrugs. " Mom, can I talk
to you?"

" Now?" Joyce is still a little sleepy.

" No, at breakfast."

Joyce shakes her head. Talk to me? Has the world started
spinning backwards? And why am I looking the horse in the mouth?

" Of course, sweetie," Joyce smiles. " any time."

" Thanks mom, kinda important."

" Ok, honey, I'll see you downstairs."

As Buffy walks away, Joyce's brow furrows. Important? Oh
please, please, don't let her be pregnant.

Joyce sighs, wondering if a son wouldn't be so much easier
sometimes.

Buffy luxuriates under the hot water, loving the way it's
warming her. She's felt cold all morning, and the heat feels wonderful.

She looks at the wound on her arm, and feels the clean water
washing the pain away. She hears the little humming in her head, and the her
voice saying " little cuts, shallow cuts." She pushes it away, but still stares at the wound. She licks it,
and tastes the remnants of salt and blood. She shivers.

Sick, sick, God I'm so sick!

The image of Faith and Willow together comes unbidden to mind, and
she feels herself tearing up again. The
tears spill as her mind imagines them together. Touching each other, cooing and
sighing and moaning.

And then she's with
them, and their soft arms hold her, their loving lips kiss her, and she feels
better. They touch her, and kiss her, and she feels the warmth in her tummy
grow. She feels wanted and needed and loved.

Her hand trails down to
her sex, and she feels a dampness too thick for water. She rubs herself gently,
as images of the three of them pleasuring each other flows though her brain,
and her breathing turns to sighs, then to needy mewls and then soft sweet
moans. Her other hand starts to pinch her nipples, and soon she is caught in a
sexual web, her body shaking as her pleasure slams her. She leans heavily into
the wall, sinking down as her knees grow weak and her pleasure carries her off.

Her sighs are happy as she pulls herself up, still feeling the
soft warmth in her tummy. She turns off the shower and hops out, drying in the
fluffiness of a huge terry towel. Wrapping herself, she checks the mirror, and
then smiles.

She hums softly to herself as she leaves the bathroom.

Buffy walks down the stairs to the dining room, feeling and
looking 100% girly. She's wearing a clingy knee length print skirt and tube
top. On her feet are heeled sandals, and around her neck is the cross Faith
gave her. Completing her get her hot while looking soft look , her hair is held
back in a low pony tail with a scrunchie.
Her makeup is subdued and her lips are a kissable soft pink. She has
every plan of cutting the knees from under Faith, and crawling on top. She
giggles, and enters the dining room.

No Faith.

Buffy sighs, and walks into the kitchen.

" Hey, mom!" Buffy walks over and gives her mom a
kiss.

Joyce's eyebrows arch up, and she smiles.

" Hi, honey. You look so pretty this morning!"

" You think?" She twirls for her mother, giving her
the full effect.

" Definitely adorable, sweetheart. But ummm�maybe not good
for the slaying?"

" No nest hunting today. Buffy taking a day off. Wants to feel all girly
again. I mean, just how many days can I wear jeans?" She giggles

Joyce smiles at her daughter's bubbly mood. She doesn't
understand it, but she surely has to love it.

"So, honey, hungry?"

" Just some cereal and juice mom. Girl's gotta keep
trim" Buffy says, heading to the cabinet for a bowl. She almost dances across the floor, swinging
her hips and humming merrily. Joyce is enchanted by her daughter's utter happy.

Buffy sidles over to the fridge, grabbing the milk, and then
grabs the cereal. She pours, pours and
then grabbing a spoon, heads to the dining room. Joyce chuckles at her
silliness.

So good to see her so happy. It's been way too long. Joyce has a thought. I wonder if she � ok, Joyce, thinking of
daughter having sex? Ewww.

Laughing, she brings a juice for her crazy daughter, and coffee
for herself.

" So, honey, you said earlier you need to talk to me?"
She puts the juice by Buffy and almost starts laughing again. Buffy is eating
robustly , almost noisily. She smiles. Happy Gods. I don't know what you did to my daughter, but keep it
up, ok? Please?

" Oh yeah, " Buffy says, mouth full. She puts down the
spoon. " It's about Willow. Well, Willow and Tara, really."

" Oh? Is everything ok? "

" Well, not for reals, mom. Seems Tara was in the hospital
under insurance, and it's kind of run out. Now, Willow is all scrambling around
looking for someone to watch Tara while trying to find a job. During the day.
Problem is, She's in school, and only a year away from getting her degree, you
know? I really hate to think of her quitting now, she's worked so hard."

" and you're wondering if I know someone or other that
could help? "

" Mom, really got to stop the mind reading thing. It's freaky."

" Well, actually honey I've been kind of looking into it,
because I know that the situation with Tara in the hospital is really
expensive. I figured the insurance had to go soon, so I thought, seeing how
Willow's your best friend, I'd sort of look into it."

Buffy breaks out in a beaming smile." Mom, are you like
Super mom, or what?" She gets up and comes around, hugging her. "
Everybody's right. You are totally the coolest mom ever." She kisses her
cheek. "So what's the 411 on it?"

Joyce, a little embarrassed but smiling, takes a second to
translate. " Oh� well, there's a place called the Sunny Springs extended
care home. It's not fancy, but it's clean and bright, and the staff there is
dedicated. And, your adorable mom
happens to be on the board, so I could pull a few strings."

" Did I happen to mention you're the best mom ever?"

" Well, you said coolest, but I guess�"

" Well, you are!"
Buffy hugs her again. " But what does it cost? Willow's kind of
like us� not exactly rolling in it."

" Well, that's the nice part, honey. It's a state sponsored
home. I'm pretty sure that Tara's SSI payments would cover any additional
costs. And of course, anything Willow could pay would be welcome."

" Super mom to the rescue," Buffy teases her. "
you're just kinda like everybody's mom, aren't you?"

" Buffy, stop it. You're going to get me weepy here in a
second."

Buffy smiles. " I'm sorry mom, a little too gushy, I got
it. Just I love you. I know if things go bad, you're there to fix it."

" Oh, well now you've done it, " Joyce grabs a napkin,
daubing her eyes.

" Oh, oh,
waterworks. I'm sorry, mom, didn't mean to make you cry."

" No, silly. Just made me really happy. Haven't seen you so
� bouncy in a long time. Kind of missed it."

" I love you mom, " Buffy hugs her again, tightly.

" Geeze, I keep coming in on these Kodak moments, "
Faith cracks from the doorway.

Buffy looks up and smiles at her.

Faith, on the other hand, feels she wants to crawl away and
hide.

" Hey, Faith!" Buffy says brightly. She gives Faith
the once over. " not looking like
the sweats, sweetie. Miss the run this morning?"

" Uh, yeah, kinda� just went for a walk, really."

" Hi, Faith. Hungry? Can I fix you something?" Joyce
asks, getting up.

" No thanks Mrs. �
Joyce� I'm cool. I'll grab some cereal if that�s ok?"

" Of course, Faith. You don't have to ask. You're welcome
to anything in the fridge."

" Thanks, " Faith smiles, making a break for the
kitchen.

" Faith?"

Oh, oh

" Yeah, Buff?"

" I'm going out , but I'm going to be at the Magic Box in
an hour or so." She sniffs. " When you're done and �well, showered,
meet me there?"

Big oh, oh!

" Sure B, "
Faith says, smiling a little weakly. " See ya there."

" Seeya,
cutie." She turns to Joyce. "
Going over to tell Willow, if that's OK?"

" Sure, honey.
Tell her it's not 100% sure, but if it doesn't pan out, we'll find something,
ok?"

" You're just too,
too, mom!"

" Did you find
something for Tara, Buffy?"

" Yeah, Super mom
was already on the case!" Buffy turns to leave. " Bye guys!"

" Buffy?"

She turns back. "
Yeah, Faith?"

" Really like the
duds. Look good on you!"

" Really? "
Buffy beams She gives Faith a quick twirl to show off. " Thanks. See you
in an hour or so."

She leaves , waving.

"Whoa!" Faith
is a little stunned. " Did you like feed her happy pills this morning,
Joyce?"

" I don't know,
Faith. I'm as confused as you, Faith. She just came down that way."

" Well, gotta say,
major improvement."

" I've got to
agree, " Joyce nods. She turns to Faith. " So, girl that's living in
my house who's not my daughter, how come we're getting in so late?"

" Huh?" Faith
almost chokes on air." Late? No, just went for a walk."

" Uh-huh. That
doesn't work with my daughter, either, when she comes home from her 'walk'
wearing the same clothes she did yesterday�"

"Oh, man,"
Faith seem to lose all her energy. " Do you think Buffy noticed?"

" Honey, I
noticed, and I'm just the non-mom here." She gives Faith a look. "
Would my daughter care if my non-daughter came home wearing the same clothes
from yesterday?"

" I don't know.
But I'm thinking I care if she cares." Faith admits.

" I see, "
Joyce says, " and so, non-daughter of mine, would you like to tell me,
non-mom, where you spent the night last night."

" It's kind of
personal, Joyce," Faith squirms a little in her chair.

Joyce doesn't say a
word, only looks at Faith.

" Ok, ok, stop the
third degree!" Faith throws up her hands. " I spent the night with
Willow."

"Oh, So like a
sleep over, then." Joyce cocks her head. " Wonder why Willow didn't
invite Buffy, too? I mean, I sure she would've liked to have gone."

Faith blushes.

" Ummm� no, don't
think that would've worked." Though� hmmm.

Joyce looks puzzled.

" Joyce, I spent
the night with Willow� do you
understand. WITH"

" Oh?�OH!" Joyce eyes go wide. " Really?"

Faith nods, sighing.

" Ok, I� ok, " Joyce looks more confused by the
second. " But, why would my daughter care if you spent the night with
Willow?" Joyce sighs. " Would someone just tell me what's going on,
instead of using oblique references?"

" The who?"

" The � ok what's everybody hiding?"

" Oh� well, Joyce? Promise not to freak?"

" I read Cosmo, Faith. You can't surprise me!"

" Ah, well� ummm� ok, this is rather hard. Ummm�"

" Faith honey? It's easier just to say it."

" Ok. Ummm� I love Buffy , you see�"

" Pardon? I'm not sure I heard that right?"

Faith colors beet red. " I love� I think I love� oh heck
I'm falling in love with Buffy, Mrs. Summers."

" Oh." Joyce cocks her head. " And, how does
Buffy feel about this?"

" That's the big I don't know, Mrs. Summers. I don't know
how she feels, exactly. I mean, I kind of get signals, but nothing
concrete."

" Ok, but do you believe she might?"

" I kinda think so?" Faith's voice goes low.

" I see� but you spent the night with Willow?"

" Yes, ok, but I don't love her, Mrs. Summers. I love
Buffy. But we were together last night, and she was needing, and I was
needing.. and we sort of needed together?"

" Ok, I get that one, " Joyce nods. " don't look
so surprised, Faith. I wasn't born 40, you know."

Faith giggles.

"So you had a one nighter with Willow, but you love my
daughter?"

" Mrs. Summers? It wasn't like that. I mean dirty or
nothin' "

" Faith? Didn't we like say we weren't going to call me
Mrs. Summers anymore?"

" Yes� but I find it hard to call you Joyce."

" I understand. I guess you'll just have to call me mom,
then."

Faith looks at her, and her eyes suddenly get big and wet. Joyce hands her a napkin.

" Now, don't do that or we're
going to be sitting here crying like babies, and I'd really like to understand
this."

Faith daubs her eyes, and smiles.

" Sorry� ummm� look, simple. I love Buffy, not sure she
loves me. I think she does, but I feel like crap right now because I spent the
night with Willow. Help?"

" Now, you see? I already love you're my new daughter. I'd
never get it that easily out of Buffy. Ok, well, here goes, " Joyce sighs.
" honey, there's no easy way out of this. You have to talk to Buffy,
explain how you feel, ask her how she feels, and don't let her squirm out of
it, and explain what happened with Willow. I'd suggest in that order, but it's
up to you."

Damn, she's good.

" Ok�wow�this won't be easy, will it?"

"No, but if you wear body armor? You'll probably survive
it." Joyce teases her.

" Thanks, feeling better now�" Faith sighs. " you
really ARE Super mom, aren't you?"

" You betcha. My cape's just in the cleaners."

" So, you won't mind if I hug you then?"

" You better!"

They hug. Joyce pulls back a little.

" Honey? Another suggestion? Shower. I love you, and
Willow. Just not smelling you both on one body. Whew!"

Faith blushes.

" Well, hurry up. Don't keep Buffy waiting too long. She
can turn cranky on a dime."

" Ok� " Faith
runs out, then runs back, and kisses Joyce on the cheek. " Thanks�ummm�
mom." She runs out again.

" You're welcome."

7

" Buffy! Hi!"
Willow smiled brightly, seeing her friend at the door. "C'mon in,
Buff" She waved her in.

Buffy entered the front
room, and Faith's scent hit her nose. She smiled brightly all the while feeling
the little bits of ice floating in her stomach. Don't freak and don't lose it. You wanted this!

" Hey, Will. Got
news" Buffy says, moving to the kitchen." IS that coffee I
smell?" Along with Eau d' Faith?

" Yeah, want
some?" Willow calls from the kitchen.

" Please. Need my
caffeine fix, bad today." Buffy sits at the breakfast bar.

" Oh, How come,
Buffy?" Willow brings two steaming mugs of coffee , setting one in front
of Buffy. Buffy takes a sip and sighs.

" Didn't sleep too
well last night, " Buffy says, taking in Willow over the rim of her cup.

She can definitely see
a difference in the way Willow moves and her energy this morning. She's almost walking an inch off the floor.
Wow, Faith must've really rang her good last night.

" You didn't? Why
not honey? Bad dreams?"

" No, not really.
I was a little worried when Faith didn't come home last night."

" Oh." Willow
makes a big O with her lips Then she blushes deeply. "My bad. I should've
had her call you."

" Well, look at
Ms. Blushy. Maybe, there wasn't time for a phone?" Buffy arches her brows.
" So, how DID it go last night?"

"Geeze, Buffy. Kind of private?" Willow gets even redder.

" Oh, c'mon, Will.
Not asking for a blow by blow�unless of course it was super heated."

" Buffy, you're
terrible," Willow waves her hand.

" So did you
guys�" Buffy makes a hand gesture. Willow's eyes go wide, then she blushes.

" You did! I knew
it!' Buffy crows. " I could smell her in here�or�" She stands up and
moves to Willow and sniffs.

" What're you
doing Buffy?"

" Checking for Eau
d' Faith" Buffy laughs. " And yup, it's there."

Willow can't help a very
large grin. She nods, and looks down shyly.

"Willow Rosenberg!
You little vixen. And here I thought you guys would be smooching and maybe
groping a little, and you set her on fire."

" We just started
out kissing�and it kind of went from there, " Willow says softly. "
It was� wow!"

" Judging from the
way your feet don't hit the floor, I'd have to agree."

" It was good,
Buffy, really good. I don't know what else to say."

" You don't have
to, girlfriend. I can tell by the megawatt smile and the way you're cheeks are
all blushy and the way you're moving. You definitely have a happy going
here."

" I won't deny I'm
really feeling nice this morning."

"Well, that's a
good thing, right?"

"Absolutely. And
it was really good. But not a life changer, Buff."

" I don't
understand?"

" Buffy, I really
like Faith. She's sweet and sexy and �ok, damn she's hot," Willow
chuckles, " but, honey, I don't love her. "

"Well, gee, ok, it
was like the first time. Do you think you could?"

" No, Buffy, you
don't get it. I don't love her� and I won't, because � it� that spark� just
isn't there for us. It was sex, very, very nice sex, but it wasn't love�"

" Well�
alright." Buffy answers.

Willow gives her a
strange look.

" Buffy, she doesn't
make me quiver inside. You know, that tingle in your tummy when the person you
love is there, and you look into their eyes. That� just isn't there."

"Sure, sure, Will.
I get it. Blonde, but not terminally blonde."

" And believe me,
Buffy, she feels the same way. As a matter of fact, she told me as much."

" Really?"
Buffy asks. A little quiver goes
off in her tummy.

"Yes, Buffy. It
was so cute too. She was sitting there, afterward, looking all guilty, like I
was going to turn to dust when she told me. She is adorable, don't you
think?" Willow gives her a sidelong glance. " Oh, yeah, I'm thinking
Buffy definitely finds adorableness in Faith."

"What?" Buffy
makes a noise, " That's just silly, Will. Didn't I tell you at the Bronze
last night, that we're just friends?"

" Mmmm-hmmm. Just
friends. Ok�" Willow cocks her head. " So then why did you come on to
her while wearing that hot little number she described. I think she said
something about a black satin bustier and
leather mini�"

Buffy goes pink. " Oh my god, she told you
about that?"

" Mmmm-hmmm,
" Willow smiles." She says you came on strong� pushed her on the bed
and everything� little Ms. Slutty Summers!"

" Oh, and did she
tell you she ran the first chance she got?"

" Yes, and she
told me why, too."

"I know why,"
Buffy frowns.

" Oh? You
do?" Willow looks at her. " Why do you think she ran?"

" Well, she told
me because she was like� wasn't ready for it. But look at what happened between
you two. So I can only think, she thinks I'm repulsive or something�"

" Buff? You were
wrong, you ARE terminally blonde!"

"What? Well, thank
you supposed best friend."

" Well, I can't
think of any other reason for such a stupid remark. I mean� gosh, Buffy, all
she could talk about last night was YOU, you dope."

" Huh?"

" When we weren't
actually� well, you know� it was Buffy this, or Buffy that� or do you think
Buffy really thinks this or that and geeze, Buffy, if I had any ego at all I might've been hurt."
Willow laughs." It was so darned cute I couldn't get mad� oh, and I called
her on it, and she admitted it, Buffy� she's like hooked on you bad!!!"
Willow gets a wicked grin on her face, " I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have
minded at all if I had been shorter, and blond, and been named �oh�
Buffy."

" You're shitting
me!" Buffy says. Please,
don't be� please.

Willow shakes her head,
arms crossed.

" Ok, then you're
just nuts, girl. Faith and I are like oil and water. Shake us up as much as you
like, we don't mix."

"Hmmm� well, I'll
tell you, one of you changed to oil, then, because I sense a definite wanting
to shake it up in the together way."

" Will, sweetie, I
know you're trying to help? But Faith pretty much thinks of me as psycho sick-o
girl."

" No, I really
don't think so, Buffy. She's hooked on you� and honey, if you don't feel the
same, don't hurt her. You tell her!"

" Will, don't kid
me here. Are you on the level? For reals? Swear? Pinkie swear?

" Buffy honey?
Grow up! Pinkie swear? Look at me, Buffy. You know me. Am I lying to you. CAN I
lie to you? You know what happens when I start lying."

" Don't see how
she can love me, Will, I just don't! I'm damaged goods, I'm � ugly�" Buffy
looks away�" inside�I'm so ugly�"

" Buffy�" Willow
reaches for her, cupping her face. " Don't. She told me. What Spike did to
you�how you blame yourself for it. It wasn't your fault honey� don't let him
keep hurting you�please" Willow kisses her forehead. " I know you, you're too good a person to think
like this."

Buffy looks into
Willow's eyes, and something inside her makes her feel intense shame.

" No� I'm not� not
anymore. Will, please for your own sake, don't trust me� I'm very bad�and I'm
going to hurt you�everyone, if you're not careful�"

"
Buffy�what?" Willow looks terribly confused.

Buffy bolts for the
door, stops and turns around.

" Call my mom. She
has news for you. I gotta�" She's out the door, gone.

Willow runs to the
door, calling after her.

" Buffy�Wait�
Buffy!"

" Buffy?"

8

What are you doing? The voice whispered to her

"Nothing,"
She replied

Are you trying to ruin
everything?

" No"

Why did you do that? You
freaked her. She's going to be suspicious!

" I don't want to
hurt her�" Buffy whispers.

Are you stupid? We're not
going to hurt her. We're going to free her.

� What if she doesn't
want it? It's not right to force her.�

It's not right, it's not
right The voice mocks her Where is this coming from? Is it right she
be stuck tending a vegetable for the rest of her life? Is it right she's
unhappy, lonely, unloved? What's "right" about that?

" But she loves
Tara. How can I take that from her?"

Dimwit. I swear, aren't
you listening? Tara's NOT HOME! Tara's gone. All you're beloved Willow has is a
body, a breathing, eating and shitting machine. It doesn't know, it doesn't
feel, it doesn't think. And you want to
saddle her with that for the rest of her life? Because it's ' right'? How can
you be so cruel?

" I'm not cruel.
But forcing her to become something she doesn't want, that's cruel!"

And how do you know she
doesn't want it? Because it's 'wrong'? Gee, I seem to remember she got awfully
hot when you described what it was like being a vampire. Maybe she wants it and
can't say it. Can't admit to herself she wants it. You're giving her something
wonderful, and now you're second guessing it. How can you do that to her?

" I'm not saying
don't. I'm saying, let her have a choice."

Fine. Go back, tell her
your plans. And when she throws you out, and tells everyone, and the plans blow
up in your face, and they put you away in the loony bin like you deserve, will
you be happy then? Will you have Faith then? I don't think so. You'll only have
me. I'll be stuck there with you. And I won't be happy. And you know what I can
do when I'm not happy!

Buffy shivers.

I protected you when Spike
hurt you, remember? I got you through it, put the bad stuff away, safe. Do you want that back, love? Remember the
branding iron. What Spike did with it?

Buffy closes her eyes,
tightly

Remember how Dru thought
you should be cleaner� and how she made you "cleaner"? Want to feel
that again, my sweet?

Buffy whimpers softly.

I can give it all back to
you. You'll not only remember it, not only dream about it. You'll feel it all
again.

Buffy sinks to her
knees. " Please, don't."

Look at you. So weak. A
mewling little kitten. You think Faith wants that? A sick whiny little piece of
shit like you? She wants strength, she wants power. I can give that to her. What
can you give her? Tears? You know she wants Willow� you saw it. So stop
fighting me. Stop making things difficult. Let me handle it, and I'll give her
to you. You want that, don't you?

" yes"

And you'll stop this crap?

"yes"

Good� there, isn't that better now? That's my good baby. That's my
sweet girl. It's so much easier when you let me do the thinking, isn't it?

"yes"

Of course it is. Let me take care of things, and you just love
Faith. Who's my sweet, sweet girl?

" Me?"

That's right. Who do you
love?

"You"

There's a flash of
Spike with the poker in her mind.

" You,
mistress"

That's better my love. Now get up. We have to meet Faith.

Buffy stands up.

Now, sleep my love�

Buffy shivers. She turns around, and there's a small cruel smile on her face, and a
coldness in her eyes.

She walks towards the Magic Box.

9

" Insane"

Faith shakes her head. The look on her face says " Really
confused here". It's pretty
obvious that as she makes her way to the
Magic Shop, she doesn't have a handle on what's going on. And it's bugging her.

This is totally insane, I swear. What was that this morning?
I know Buffy had to see I'd been out all night. Geeze, even Joyce� Mrs.
Summers�mom? Christ I'll never figure THAT one out, either� could see I'd been
out all night. And she's like way old! So, what was with the happy-happy crap?
She acted like she didn't give a damn. Doesn't she? Then why is she practically
ripping my clothes off every chance she gets? Is she just like Randi McNympho
now? Use me and toss me? Is that it? What, is she channeling ME now? Am I like
a toy to her? Play with me awhile until she gets bored, then shelf me?

Faith makes a rude
noise, and stops at the light, waiting for it to change. She taps her foot
impatiently.

Then she turns around and does these things that make me
think there's more to it. She thinks I don't she's getting Joyce to slip some
money in my pocket? I mean what, it just suddenly appears there? She doesn't
want me to feel like I'm sponging, or having to ask for it. Can you say, really
sweet? And when I walk into a room, I can see her brighten up a little, like
she's happy to see me. And when we patrol, she's always checking to be sure I'm
ok, when I'm the slayer, and her ass is a lot more likely
to get hurt. God, I got a cut on my side from some frisky vamp, and I swear she
almost tore my t-shirt off to be sure I wasn't hurt badly. Not complaining,
mind you, but it was in public! Who's
she kidding? She thinks I don't know she watches me sleep? God, what is more
boring than watching someone sleep, unless you feel something for them?

So, if she does care, why the Kathy Lee act today? Why was
she so damned�perky? She acted like it was the greatest damned thing I dragged
my ass in after sleeping with Willow all night. I know she knows. She'd have to
be blind not to know. What is her deal??????

GAAAH. I'm going back to men. I swear. Their stupid, hairy,
insensitive louts. But at least, they're easy to figure. Lay back, open your
legs, and hey, they're happy. No fuss, no muss and just remember to take your
pill. Easy.

Faith looks up, and realizes she's almost passed the Magic Box.

Damn. I need another 10 miles to get a handle on this. Oh,
forget it. You'll never figure her out.

Faith, feeling a little pissy now, pushes her way into the Magic
Box.

Rupert Giles looks up when the little bell over the door rings.
He sees his slayer stride to the counter, leaning on the glass.

" Good Morning, Faith. "

" Yeah, sure, whatever."

Oh, dear. I see
someone took her grumpy pills this morning.

" Dare I ask how you are?"

" I'm looking for Blondie. What does that tell you?"

" That those black clouds swirling over your head followed
you in, and aren't just a spell gone terribly wrong," Giles deadpans.

Faith looks at him, then snorts. Her face brightens to a
half-grin.

" Yeah, well, I swear. I'll never figure her out. If I live
as long a vampire, I'll never get
her." Faith shakes her head.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

" Would you really want to know?"

" Ah, yes, personal then, is it?" Giles asks mildly.

"Sorta, yes." Faith says, then throws her hands up in
disgust. " I swear, that girls runs hot and cold. I never have a clue to
where her head is, from one minute to the next. It bugs the hell out of
me!"

" Let's see. She's a young woman, and she's rather
mercurial. How droll."

" I'm sorry, was
there English in there somewhere?"

" She's
moody."

" Funny, Giles. You're a laugh riot. But I'm a young woman
too, and I don't change my moods every 10 seconds. What's her deal,
anyway?"

" Well, she's been through a lot�"

" And so have I."

"� and she's still coming to terms with what she's been
through, and what she did. Remember Faith, you've had a few years to figure
things out. She's had a month? Maybe you should be a little more patient."

" Look, Giles, I get the weirdness, ok? I've got my own
brand going. What I don't get is the friendly one minute, distant the next
minute, acting like I'm important, and turning around and treating me like some
toy. What's her deal?"

Giles cleans his glasses.

" I see. Is
something else going on here, Faith?"

Faith looks at him with a ' get a clue, Giles' look.

" Never mind, Giles. I don't have time to write you a book
on it. Is she here?"

" I assume you mean Buffy, and yes, she's in the back
room."

" Peaches, " Faith says, looking at the curtain to the
back room. She stands, tapping her foot, arms crossed. " Oh the hell with
it, lets just get this over with." She marches towards the back room. She
stops halfway, and turns around.

" How was she, Giles? I mean, was she ok? Or acting
weird?"

" As far as I could discern, she seemed to be
alright."

" She wasn't upset, or giggling or anything, was she?"

"Er� no."

" Ok, " Faith turns back to the curtain. "
Thanks."

She walks through it.

" And so, the wackiness continues, " Giles says to
himself as he returns to his ledgers.

10

Faith stands behind the curtain, looking into the backroom from
behind the doorway. She sees Buffy sitting on the bench, turned a little away
from her. She tries to suss out her mood. And for a second, she gets a flash
that she's not looking at Buffy at all, but just at someone who looks exactly
like her.

Ok, Faith, aren't
things weird enough? You have to make up weird?

Faith pushes herself
into the room, striding quickly towards the bench.

" Heya, Buff, " She says, stopping a few feet from
Buffy.

Buffy looks up, and smiles. She stands up, and looks Faith over.

Ok, Faith. It's Buffy. Stop the wigging in your head.

" Well, you cleaned up nicely, " Buffy smiles, coming
over and circling her, " yes, much better now."

" Look, Buff� about last night�"

Buffy runs her finger down Faith's arm.

" So, did you have fun?" Buffy asks. She moves a
little closer, laying her hand on Faith's arm.

" Fun?"

" Willow seems to think you had fun." Buffy smiles. " I know for a fact she
was all blushy and smiley face this morning."

" Look, Buffy, it wasn't like that�."

" It wasn't?" Buffy's brows raise, " You two
didn't get sweaty last night?"

" Well, ok, it was like that," Faith says,
" But it wasn't like�serious."

" You just pretended?" Buffy looks confused. "
How do you pretend to have sex?"

" Geeze, no Buffy. I meant, it didn't mean anything."

" Oh, I don't know 'bout that, " Buffy moves in front
of her, and her hands glide up Faith's arms, resting on her shoulders. "Willow seemed to think it meant
something. She was all giggly and smiling this morning. Musta meant something.
Couldn't have been terrible."

" I mean, I don't love her, Buffy. That's what I'm trying
to say."

" Well, silly girl, who said you did?" Buffy smiles at
her, and her hands seem to magically clasp around the back of Faith's neck,
"but she surely was one happy girl this morning." Buffy leans in and
kisses Faith softly on the lips. " Thank you, " She smiles as she
breaks the kiss.

" Thank you?" Faith shakes her head. " Did I miss
something here?" Faith feels her lips tingling from the little kiss.

" Faith, weren't you paying attention that morning when we
talked about it? At the breakfast table? Remember? I wanted you to � well�
comfort her."

Faith blinks. " Huh?" I really wish she'd stop
rubbing my neck. I can't think real good when she does that.

" Faith, I told you. Will's been alone for a long time. She
really needed some sweet touch. And honey, you gave it to her. I think she said something like� hmmm� cute, adorable, damned hot� " Buffy
leans in, whispering in her ear. " I can really see that for myself."

What is she doing? And god, she is turning me on!

" You don't mind I slept
with Willow?" Faith asks, sweating a little." I thought you might be
a little pissed."

" Of course not, silly. I've been pushing you two together
for a couple of weeks now, don't you know?" Buffy rubs herself up against
Faith. Holy shit Faith shivers
is she trying to make me crazy? Buffy then pushes away from Faith and moves
away a little. " Of course, I really didn't think things would get quite
so�heated last night, " Buffy has come around Faith, and now is leaning into her. Her arms circle Faith's
waist. " I was maybe kinda just a little hurt that I've been trying to get
your motor revving for awhile, and she seemed to start you right up, "
Buffy nibbles on Faith's ear. " But hey� if that's what it takes."
Her hands rub Faith's belly.

Oh geeze oh man Faith feels tingles running out of
control in her.

" I was beginning to think you didn't like me at all
Faith" Buffy presses herself closer to Faith. " Don't you like
me?"

Like isn't exactly the word I was thinking, Buff. Whew!

"Buffy, it's not like that at all. I just�feel differently
about you� than I feel about Willow� "

" Mmmm, " Buffy coos softly, rubbing her pelvis
against Faith. " I think you feel nice."

Oh, crap. Faith is getting a major down low tickle,
with a side of tingles.

" Really nice, " Buffy purrs, leaning her head on
Faith's back. Her hands slide up, and cup Faith's breasts.

Ahhh� ahhh� man!

Faith breaks away, panting heavily. " Geeze, Buff!"

" Oh for god's sake, " Buffy sounds angry and hurt,
" What the hell IS it , Faith?"
She storms off, sitting down on the bench, facing away from Faith.
" What the hell do I have to do to make you interested? Let you know I'm
willing? Tell me, I'm really not getting it here at all!"

" Buffy, no� it's not like that at all, " Faith comes
over to her, kneeling beside her.

" Well, what IS it then, Faith? What is it? Do you
know how it feels when you do this? Do you?"

" Buffy� you're not going to hit me again, are you?"

" Why bother? You don't respond, so what's the use?" Buffy
gets up, walking towards the entrance. She turns around. " I'm trying my
hardest to let you know how I feel about you, and you keep shoving it back in
my face. I'm an idiot! Why do I even bother!? It's pretty damned clear you
don't give a crap about me! " She feels tears coming. " No, I won't
let you make me cry again. Damn you, Faith. Damn you!" She cries anyway.

" Buffy, no, don't, " Faith rushes over to her,
holding her arms. " I care about you. A lot."

"" Well, you really show it in a funny way. Every time
I try to let you know I want you to touch me,
you run like a goddamn � shit. Maybe I should die my hair red. Maybe
that's it. I don't know what it is, but I try to get you interested, and you
show me you don't want me. Will kisses you, and damn you can't get her in bed
fast enough. Why? WHY?"

" Because, Buffy, I love you!" Faith declares. Oh shit, did I just say that?

Buffy stands looking at her, blinking . " You love
me?" she almost whispers.

" Yes, I LOVE YOU.
Is that clear enough?" Faith pulls her closer. " With Willow, it was
just sex. Ok, really great sex, but sex. I didn't care what happened. But I
love you, Ms. Buffy make me crazy nuts Summers, and it matters to me, a
lot, that it's perfect. When I'm with you, and damn you, Blondie, I'm gonna be
with you, I want it to be right. Perfect. I want you to know, without any
fucking doubts, what I'm feeling when I touch you. Get that? "

" You love me?" Buffy repeats, as if she can't believe
it. " Love me, love me?"

Faith snorts. " Are you listening to me at all?"

" I was with you up to you saying I love you" Buffy
looks a little starry eyed.

Faith slides her arms around Buffy's waist. " So, what do
you think about that, then?" She asks softly.

Buffy doesn't say anything. Her arms slide around Faith's neck,
and her lips start to cover Faith's face with kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.

" I'm taking it this is your way of saying that idea
doesn't upset you?" Faith is almost giggling.

" Stupid<kiss>silly<kiss>goof<kiss>! Do
you<kiss><kiss> know how much<kiss><kiss> I've wanted
<kiss><kiss><kiss> to hear that? Do you<kiss>have any
idea<kiss><kiss>how happy<kiss>that makes me?
<kiss><kiss><kiss><kiss>"

I'm getting the idea� oh� yeah� I really think I'm getting
the idea�

" I'm kinda getting the idea, " Faith pants, then she
cups Buffy's face, and kisses her.

Their mouths open almost simultaneously, and their tongues
intertwine. Buffy's hands slide over Faith's shoulders, and then around her
back, and then all over her back and ass. Faith for her part slides her hands
down Buffy's sides, and onto her sweet
little butt, and pulls her closer.

They stand there for awhile, caressing each other, tongues
darting playfully into each other's mouths. The kiss seems to last forever, and
that's way to short for either of them.

" Geeze, Buff," Faith pants. Crap, I think this pair of panties is shot.

" Mmmm� now that was nice, " Buffy says. She starts to
kiss Faith's neck. Her hands start to rub Faith's ass.

" Uhhh� Buff." Faith says throatily. She grabs Buffy's
hands, and pulls them off her butt.

" What?" Buffy looks at her. Maybe a little hurt.

" No, baby. Nothing like that. But if you keep that up, I'm
gonna need to lay down soon� and that bench doesn't look that
comfortable."

" Oh," Buffy blushes.

Ok, can she get any more adorable?

Buffy laces her fingers through Faiths, and they kiss tiny
little kisses. Buffy pulls away, and gets a sexy shy look on her face.

" What?" Faith says, leaning in to continue.

" I know a nice comfy place we can lie down on�" Buffy
blushes, lowering her lids.

Answer. Yes, she can get more adorable!

" Oh?" Faith whispers. " Where would that
be?"

Buffy leans close, and whispers, her lips almost touching
Faith's " My room" She kisses her softly.

The kiss breaks. They look at each other and smile.

They don't want to let go of each other, and they don't want to
face the questioning looks from Giles, so they leave by the alley exit.

The door to the Revello drive house opens, and the two girls peer
in, Faith's head over Buffy's.

" You think you're mom's home?" Faith whispers.

They listen for a second.

" No, I think she's at the gallery." Buffy whispers
back.

" Ok."

The door opens wider and the two slip in, shutting the door
after.

Like magnets, the two come together, kissing and groping each
other. Little murmurs and mewlings emerge from the pair. Buffy climbs up onto
Faith's hips, wrapping her legs around her, and the kissing and caressing
continues.

" I really, really need you naked," Buffy whispers to
Faith.

" Mmmm. Me too�" Faith whispers back. " Why're we
whispering?"

Buffy just giggles, and kisses her.

They stumble towards the staircase, Faith carrying the little
blond on her waist.

" Buffy, honey, " Faith sounds muffled, her mouth covered
by Buffy's " I love you're hot little body, but I really need to see
now."

" You poop, " Buffy says, but she slides off Faith's
hips. Faith sweeps her up, and Buffy giggles, tossing her arm over Faith's
shoulders. " Why suh, " She affects a southern accent, " Ah you
gonna take advantage of lil ole me?"

" You bet you're sweet ass, Scarlett, " Faith
says," As many times as I can." She brings her hand up and gooses
Buffy's ass.

Buffy squeals, and giggles as Faith carries her upstairs.

The door to Buffy's bedroom bursts open, and Faith sweeps her
inside. Buffy slides out of her arms, and they're groping and kissing again.
Along with a lot of body rubbing.

Finally, reluctantly they break away, and Faith starts to pull
off her t-shirt.

Buffy coughs. Faith
looks up questioningly, and Buffy is standing in front of her, arms raised over her head. Her hips are
swaying back and forth.

" What?" Faith asks, enjoying the picture.

" Well, " Buffy says demurely, " I was hoping
you'd undress me." She lowers her eyes blushing prettily.

And somehow, even more adorable!!!

Faith comes up behind her, and slides her tube top over her
head. Her fingers brush Buffy's nipples on the way, and Buffy gasps and
shudders. Faith looks over her shoulder, and notices Buffy's nipples are tilted
up and standing proud.

"Geeze, Buffy. " She says, a little awed.

"See what you do to me, lover?" Buffy says, rubbing
her butt against Faith's groin.

Not even half of what
you're doing to me!

Faith kisses Buffy's neck.

Mmmm, Buffy sighs, Liking that a whole lot.

Faith's hands come up and cup Buffy's breasts, her thumbs gently
flicking the nipples

Mmmmmm � loving that� do that AGAIN!

" Do that again, baby," Buffy sighs, leaning into
Faith. Faith grins and complies.

Buffy sighs loudly

"MMmmm� you make me sooo hot," Buffy breathes.

Faith reaches down, unbuttoning the waist on Buffy's skirt. She
unzips it, and it puddles at Buffy's feet.

" God, you're not wearing panties!" Faith cries.

" I was hoping to get lucky," Buffy giggles. She steps
out of her skirt, and rubs her butt against Faith. " Mmmm. feeling real
lucky"

Buffy slithers around in Faith's arms, and after a couple of
very warm kisses, she tugs on Faith's t-shirt, pulling it out from her pants.
She starts to lift it up, and Faith raises her arms to help. Tossing it away,
she looks at Faith's bra.

" Naw, this'll never do, " She coos. She rubs her hand
over the bra, and Faith just sighs.

God� god, god � and good god, what is she doing?

Buffy has slipped her small hands under Faith's bra, rubbing her
breasts. Giggling, she takes them out, and reaches around, unhooking Faith's
bra quickly.

" Somebody's had some practice. You sure you've only done
this one time before?"

Buffy just giggles. She pulls off Faith's bra, and then looks at
Faith's breasts hungrily. She licks her lips.

Faith shivers. Buffy's obvious enjoyment gives her a major
tickle deep down low.

Buffy brings her hands to Faith's breasts, and begins to massage
them. Faith lets out a little whimper, and then sighs. Buffy lifts her breasts,
her thumbs rubbing over Faith's hardening nipples.

" May I?" Buffy asks, looking up into Faith's eyes.

Faith notices how large Buffy's eyes seem. She feels her heart
flutter.

" No one's saying no, " Faith says, hoarsely, "
and if they do, I'll punch them."

Buffy chuckles, then lowers her head to Faith's breast. Her
tongue shoots out, and she flicks back and forth over Faith's nipple and
areola. Faith moans. Buffy takes the nipple in her mouth,
suckling it, and Faith shivers. She bites it gently, and Faith's hips rock
forward. Noticing that, Buffy does it again. Same reaction. She keeps biting.

" Geeze, Buffy, you're making me � oh shit!" She cries
softly as a wave of intense pleasure hits her. Her panties are soaked, and she
can feel her thighs are wet. Her legs are very, very shaky. Buffy looks up,
smiling, nipple still between her teeth.

" Did you?" She mumbles.

" I think so, Damn!"

Buffy giggles, and starts suckling her again. She wraps her arms
around Faith, and Faith's hand holds her head to her breast.

What is the girl
doing to me?

Faith feels Buffy lower
hands, rubbing gently over her ass. She feels like she's in heaven, her whole
body warm and her breathing coming harder.

Shit, I'm not even
naked yet, and she's made me cum. And working on the next one, the bitch

Faith reaches around Buffy, and starts caressing her back and
ass. Buffy wiggles around, sighing at Faith's touch.

" No, no, no� no fair unless you're naked too!" Buffy
mumbles. She pulls away from Faith, her lips smacking as her mouth leaves
Faith's breast. She fiddles with Faith's belt, and then loosens it. She unzips
her jeans, and pushes them off her hips. She kneels down, pulling Faith's jeans
halfway down.

" Damn, girl. We forgot your boots." She starts to
reach for them as Faith leans over to pull them off.

" I got it, Buffy� ooh� ohhhhh�. " Faith overbalances,
then overcompensates and falls back on her butt.

Buffy giggles, and Faith makes a face at her.

" Ow, that hurt!" She cries. Then she starts to laugh.

" Awww� did Faithy
fall down go boom?" Buffy crawls over. " Lemme see."

" Buffy, get away," Faith laughs, as she struggles
with her boots.

" Lemme see� wanna see the boo-boo"

" Boo-boo my ass, " Faith says, getting a boot off.
She works on the other boot.

" Exactly," Buffy giggles. She pushes on Faith,
exposing her butt." Where'd you hit?"

" Oh my ass, girl, " Faith laughs, finally managing to
get the other boot off.

Buffy smiles wickedly, the pulling down Faith's panties, leans
over and kisses her just above her ass crevice. Faith nearly jumps.

" Damn, Buffy, what the hell are you doing?"

" Kissing the boo-boo" Buffy giggles.

Faith starts panting again as Buffy starts to kiss more of the boo-boo.
Then she giggles when Buffy bites the boo-boo.

" So, liking my butt, huh?"

" It's pretty." Buffy paddles her.

" HEY!" Faith protests, then says " hey"
softly when Buffy kisses where she paddled. " God, you�re a nut!"

" Nuh-uh. No nuts here. Just a peach, " Buffy slides a
finger between Faith's thighs.

" JESUS, BUFFY ! " Faith squeals, then start crawling
away. Her jeans around her calves impede her progress. Buffy catches the jeans,
pulling them off.

" Oooo, pretty," Buffy admires Faith's wiggling
butt. She goes after her, grabbing her
around her thighs. She gives Faith a long slow lick.

" OH� geeezze� Buffy!" Faith hisses, loving that lick.

Holding Faith tightly, Buffy's licks get more serious, and
Faith's butt gets really wriggly. Then its rocking back and forth, and Faith
starts moaning loudly.

" Geeze� Buffy� oh.. OH� oh yeah ooooh godohgod oh god�
aohh ahhhh ahhhh oh DAMN!" She
yells, her body hit by wave after wave of pleasure. Buffy looks up, her work
rewarded by a face covered in sweet juice. Faith groans�.and shudders� and is
hit by more waves.

Faith just lies there, her head to the side. She sees Buffy peek
around her, and notices her face is wet.

" I just love peaches, " Buffy licks her lips. Then
she crawls up and kisses Faith, deeply.

I think I'm gonna die. I really think she's gonna kill me
before it's over

Faith pushes herself up, and glares at Buffy.

" You�. I'm so gonna get you" She reaches for her.

Buffy wiggles away, and
gets up.

" Gotta catch me first� WHOAAA!"

Buffy didn't count on slayer speed, and Faith scoops her up. She
carries her to the bed, and drops her on the mattress. She jumps on beside her,
then gathers Buffy in her arms. She pulls her in, and they kiss�and kiss� and
oh they kiss.

" Mmm.. think I'm loving this, " Buffy coos softly.

They kiss again, tongue dancing in their mouths, their hands
rubbing each other all over. Buffy curls up to Faith, and they cuddle.

Faith stops, and pulls away.

"What is it, baby?" Buffy sounds worried.

Faith rolls Buffy over, and looks at her back. She sees the
crisscrossed scars all over it.

" What're these, honey?"

" No, don't look!" Buffy rolls over on her back. She
turns her head away, crossing her arms over herself.

" Baby, what?"

" It's so ugly. I'm so ugly," Buffy cries.

" No, baby, no" Faith moves to her, drawing her into
her arms. She looks into Buffy's eyes." You're beautiful, love. I just felt them, and didn't know what they
were. I didn't want to hurt you, is all."

" You think I'm beautiful? " Buffy looks into Faith's
eyes. Her bottom lip quivers. " No you don't. You're just saying
that!"

" You're beautiful, Buffy, " Faith plants small warm
kisses on Buffy's face. " you're very, very beautiful. " She covers
Buffy's face with sweet kisses.

Buffy sighs, happily. " You really think I'm
beautiful?" Buffy's voice sounds childlike.

" Very beautiful, Buff. You're so beautiful, " Faith
kisses her, her hand wandering all over Buffy's front, " that I get wet just looking at
you."

" Oh Faith, oh honeee, " Buffy wraps her arms around
her. " I love you so much"

They kiss, Buffy sucking on Faith's tongue. Faith draws in Buffy's tongue, and sucks on
it.

Faith rolls Buffy over, and climbs on her, straddling her.

Buffy looks up at her and smiles.

" You like it up there, don't you? On top?"

" Don't hate it, but I don't mind you being on top either.
You got me so wet that night, when you were so sexily dressed� I know I ran
away� but� god when I went to bed, I had to�" Faith blushes.

" Really? I did that to you?" Buffy smiles.

" Oh god, you � man� it was so intense."

Buffy reaches up, and pulls Faith down into another kiss . Faith
starts rubbing her body against Buffy, and Buffy sighs into her mouth.

They break the kiss, staring into each other's eyes.

" Love me? Please, Faith , love me!"

" I do, baby, I love you sooo much."

Faith starts covering her with wet soft kisses. Buffy's head
lolls back as Faith moves down her, touching ever little inch of her upper body
with her lips.

God, it feels like my
nerves are popping, Buffy sighs as Faith continues her lip caresses.

" You got such cute lil boobies," Faith giggles.
" I just adore your lil boobies. They're so perky!"

" Thanks, that usually means flat chested" Buffy
growls.

" Mmmm�no way" Faith surrounds Buffy's nipple with her
mouth, and pulls on it. Buffy groans loudly

" GOD YESSSSS!"

Faith bites the nipple.

" HARDER BABY HARDER!" Buffy cries.

Faith does, then pulls on the nipple. Buffy wriggles under her
in pleasure

Faith's eyes go wicked;
with the nipple in her teeth, shakes her head.

" OH MY GOD!!! DO THAT AGAIN I LOVE IT" Buffy screams.

Faith grabs her other nipple and repeats it. Buffy starts moaning, her body wriggling on the
bed. Faith keeps worrying Buffy's nipple with her mouth, loving Buffy's
reaction. Buffy grabs the sheets, and
lets out a loud scream as her body shudders. Faith keeps it up and Buffy's body
starts to rock on the bed. She screams again and again, her body writhing under
Faith. Then she stiffens, her whole
body arches, and she lies still.

Faith panics a little.

" honey? HONEY? ARE YOU OK?"

" Fuck YESSS" "Buffy croaks out. " God my
nipples are like super sensitive, you � god I love you" Her arms reach up and
pulls Faith back down into a long hot and wet kiss. They break, and their hands
caress each other.

Faith's grin gets wicked again, and she's on Buffy again,
licking her soft skin. Buffy lays back, just loving the way Faith is making her
feel. Faith moves down, and then further�and further� and then she's licking
Buffy's fuzzy lil peach.

Buffy goes limp on the bed as Faith sends wonderful hot little
fires coursing through her bloodstream. When her peach opens for Faith's loving
tongue, Buffy's head goes back, and her eyes close in utter pleasure.

" Yes� ummm hmmm� just like that� oooooo� yeessss�.good �
oh GOD�ooohh� ohhh� ohhh�OHHH� B-B-BABY yes that right there right there yesss
oh baby yesssss god oh mygod I � oh FAITH �FAITH�FAAAAAIIITTHHHH!!!!! YEEEAAAAHHH OOOOHHHHH YAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Buffy's slim body almost jumps off the bed as she's hit with a
Flood of pleasure. Her head rocks back and forth, and hips keep bouncing and
boucing. Faith has to hold on to her not to get knocked off.

Buffy gets a brief calm and then another wave hits her that
makes the last one look like a ripple. Every nerve in her body seems to
explode, and she almost passes out, her brain is so overloaded. Her body rocks
and bounces and Faith just rolls away, afraid that she'll hurt her if she
doesn't. Finally, she calms down, and Faith moves over, and wraps her tight in
her arms.

They look at each other, Buffy's jaw slack. Faith reaches down
and rubs her belly.

" Who would thought so much noise could come from this
teeny tiny body, " She laughs.

" You � monster!" Buffy giggles, and throws her arms
around her, pulling her in for a loving kiss.

They were no where near done. They spent hours and hours
exploring each other, each stimulating the other's creativity to find more and
different ways to pleasure each other. The sun was down for hours before they
stopped. And that was only because both finally ran out of energy. Tangled in
bed sheets and each other's arms, they slept.

Joyce, downstairs, turns up the TV volume to drown out the
noise.

"Goodness," She shakes her head, as another cry is
heard from upstairs. She blushes a little." Where do they get it? I wish I
had half that energy."

11

Willow Rosenberg looks at the stack of bills, and sighs.

Looking at the account balance on her laptop, she wonders how
she's going to pay this batch. The only bright spot is that there is some hope
of placing Tara in a low cost state sponsored care facility. As Buffy had told
her to, she called Joyce Summers and talked with her about it, and it sounded
good. Really good. She'd said it wasn't 100% guaranteed, but there was a good
chance, a very good chance, of getting Tara in. For the first time in months,
Willow felt as if a huge boulder had been lifted off her.

Still, she had these bills to get through, and she wasn't sure
how she was going to manage. Dad's check helped, but it didn't really cover.
The night job sort of covered the difference, but things were tight, really
tight. I might just have to take another semester off next year to catch up
again. Damn!�but what choice have I got?

At least, it looked like now she might be able to complete her
degree. And she owed it to Buffy.

But that is another thing worrying her tonight. Buffy. And the
weird way she'd left her. And that weird warning she'd given Willow. What
did she mean, she'd hurt me and everybody? It had bothered Willow all day.
Everything had been fine until we
talked about Faith loving her. Then she freaked, and ran out. Damaged goods.
That's what she called herself. She still's blaming herself for what Spike did
to her. God, I'd love to pull that vamps teeth out of his mouth with a pair of
pliers. Or an ice pick. But that really isn't the issue. What did she mean
she'd hurt everyone. How?

She is still trying to puzzle it out when she hears a knock at
the door. She gets up, wondering who it was at this time of night, when the
knocking gets louder, more insistent. Puzzled, she looks through the peephole,
then opens the door.

" Yes, can I help� wait, I know you, don't I? RIGHT! You're
Ford, Buffy's friend!" She smiles and steps back. " Did you want to
come in? Buffy's not here�"

" Actually, I was hoping you'd come out. It's about Buffy.
She's missing." Ford says.

Willow gets a chill in her tummy.

For the first time, she notices how pale he is.

" Missing? Ford, what's going on?"

"We were going to go to lunch, but she came by and said she
had to cancel, that she and Faith were going on a nest hunt. I should've been
suspicious right away, because she was acting a little strange. I mean, not
like talking to herself strange, but she seemed � off. Anyway, I said ok. But
as time passed, thinking about how she'd been acting, I got suspicious. So I
called her house, and Faith happened to be there. There was no nest hunt. I
told Faith what Buffy told me, and after swearing a blue streak, she said she'd
call Giles, and asked if I'd get you. We're going to meet downtown, and look
for her."

" Geeze, I can't believe Buffy would go after a nest
alone�" But then Willow remembered the strangeness from this morning. God, what if she did go alone? What if she
wanted to� oh god!

" Wait, let me get my coat." Willow says. She retreats, and a minute later she's back,
slipping into her coat. " Let's go!"

As the walk down the steps towards Ford's car, Willow turns to
him. " You said she was acting weird. How?"

" I don't know. It just was like she was distracted. She
seemed nervy and jumpy, and seemed to be feeling guilty about something."
Ford's face furrows." God, I only hope she's going to be ok!"

" Me, too, " Willow says, falling into a muse.

What if she �god, she
was so convinced she was damaged goods. What if she went against the nest for
revenge, and didn't want Faith there? Or� what if she went to prove her worth
to Faith. She was thinking she was damaged�

Willow is so distracted
she never even sees the chloroform-soaked cloth coming. She struggles briefly,
but the fumes soon overcome her.

Ford gently lowers Willow to the ground. Sticking the rag in his
pocket, he pulls out a roll of duct tape. He binds her hands and feet, and puts
some over her mouth. Stowing that, he picks her up, and carries her to his car.
Opening the back seat, he puts her in, covering her with a blanket.

He closes the door, and whistling to himself, gets in the car.
It soon pulls out and disappears down the road.

12

Buffy lays quietly in the dark, watching Faith sleep.

My sweet beautiful
goddess, my loving moon goddess.

She carefully extracts herself from Faith's arms, slipping
quietly out of her bed. She stands for a moment, naked, looking down at Faith.
Her whole body seems to shiver in lust as she looks at her. So sweet, so
very, very sweet. She leans over, and kisses her softly on the lips.

"mmmm� Buff? " Faith mumbles, drowsily. "
What?"

" Shhh� baby, go back to sleep. Just gotta go pee�unless
you wanna watch?"

"You're evil, you know that?" Faith mutters, snuggling
down.

" Sleep, precious, sleep. I'll be back soon." She
whispers.

She watches until she's sure Faith is asleep again, then she
picks up her clothing off the floor, draping it over the vanity chair. Quietly,
so not to disturb Faith, she goes to her closet. She closes the door behind
her, and turns on the light. Rummaging through her things, she picks out a pair
of black leather pants and a black mesh see through top. She grabs a pair of
boots off the floor, then extinguishes the light.

Looking over at Faith, she smiles when she sees she's still
sleeping. She goes over to the vanity, and picks up a few bottles and jars. She
quietly tiptoes to the door, and slips through it.

Listening in the hallway, she hears the TV going downstairs. Good, she's not up here yet. Buffy slips
into the bathroom, and after closing
the door, she flips on the light.

She takes a quick shower, and towels off. Still nude, she
applies makeup, paying particular care to her eyes and lips. Liking the
results, she leans over and kisses the mirror. Mmmm� not as nice as Faith's
lips, but it'll do.

She wriggles into the leather pants, and pulls on the top. She
takes a quick glance in the mirror, approves, and then quietly lets herself
out.

Good, still watching the TV. Hope it's a good show, mom!
She giggles to herself. She carefully makes her way to her bedroom, and slips
in.

She watches the sleeping Faith for awhile, her heart beating
fast in her chest. God, she's sooo�
Buffy sighs. Shaking herself, she quietly slips to the window, and opens it.

She takes one final look at Faith.

Soon my love, we'll leave this all behind. We'll be together,
away from this madness. Together in each other's arms.

Forever!

She quietly slips out the window.

13

Willow comes awake as they're carrying her upstairs.

She's being hauled up by two people, each holding on to an arm.
She wants to scream, but can't because her mouth is gagged. She soon realizes that her hands and feet
are bound too.

What? Where am I? What happened�Ford! That �he knocked me
out. But why? He's Buffy's friend. What's going on? Why'd they kidnap me?
Even though she knows It's useless, she struggles against her captors.

" Don't struggle, Willow. It won�t help, and only make it
harder on you," Ford says from behind her. " We'll be there
soon."

You son of a bitch!
Willow thinks to herself as she's dragged upstairs, If I get out of this,
I'm so gonna�what? What're you going to do, Will? Damn! I wish Faith was here�
or Buffy. God!

They reach the top of the stairs, and drag her through a set of double
doors. Her heart almost falls out of her chest when she looks down. There's no floor! Where's the floor?!! Then she realizes a floor is there, it's
just clear. God, what IS this place?

They haul her into the
center of the room, and put her on the round platform They carefully remove the
tape gag.

Willow screams.

" Screaming won't
help, Willow. No one will hear you. and even if they did, no one would come
rescue you." Ford says, sitting next to her. " Are you alright? Are
the cuffs too tight? We can adjust them."

" You son of a
BITCH!" Willow spits on him. " I thought you were Buffy's friend.
Why'd you do this? Where am I? What's going on?"

"Shhh� calm down,
Willow," Ford says, smiling." No one's going to hurt you. All your
questions will be answered in time by the Mistress."

Ford looks up, and it's
then that Willow notices the small blond woman standing, back to her, seeming
to be looking at the floor. She notices she's wearing dark leather pants and a
top of some kind.

God, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that's�

The woman turns around,
and smiles.

BUFFY!!!!!!!

" Buffy! Oh my
god! Are you alright? We've got to get OUT of here!"

Buffy walks over to
her, and sits by her. She puts an arm
around Willow, and strokes her thigh with the other hand.,

" Now, Willow. Why
would I want to do that?"

To be continued
- 8
- 9
- 10
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