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Timeless Faith	By : norwalker Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3106 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Timeless Faith

By Norwalker

Part 9 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: There is always the possibility of major character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an Alternate Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don’t give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

Everybody's attention seems riveted on Rupert Giles.

For a moment, time seems to pause in that living room. Everybody stops whatever they're doing, or saying, and just stare at Giles. No one (except for Dawn) expected him, and to suddenly appear in the doorway was little short of a miracle to them. Or an omen.

Giles had left for England two months after Buffy's death. He'd taken her death particularly hard. His grief was two- fold; he felt enormous guilt over not having done more to prevent Buffy's death. He felt if he'd only had more time, he could've found another way to defeat Glory and prevent the apocalypse, out out sacrificing his slayer. More accurately, the woman he'd come to think of as his daughter. That was the other side of his grief; losing Buffy had been like losing a daughter. Being British, and raised with that country's natural inclination to being reserved, he never expressed the depth of feelings he had for the young woman. She had been much more than his charge, and losing her to death had been devastating to him.

He'd hung on for 2 months, trying his best to help those grieving over Buffy to come to terms with his loss. But he felt, or he made himself believe, that more and more he was becoming irrelevant to their lives. He mistakenly believed that they no longer needed him. So, with a heavy heart, he departed for England. Though he was fond of those he left behind, Sunnydale had lost its appeal for him. He felt it was time to get on with his life, and put Sunnydale, it's hellmouth, and his loss behind him.

Despite his best efforts, however, he couldn't put it behind him. Even 8000 miles away, they were with him. Late at night, when he was alone, his mind would often wander back to Sunnydale, and those special people who had so touched his life. He often wondered how they were, and how they were doing. But being reticent by nature, he refrained from contacting them, fearing he would be interfering with their healing process. After the call from Dawn, informing him of the situation, he spent his remaining time in England reprehending himself for being a fool.

As he looks around the room, seeing most of the people he holds affection for gathered, he realizes exactly how big a fool he's been. Despite their sophistication, and strength, they were still young… very young. They need someone to lend a guiding hand, or an ear, now and then. They still required to be told when they were wrong, and praised when they were right. In a strange way, he was luckier than many men. He had not one, but many children, all bright and talented , all claiming a small piece of his heart. As much as he loved and often needed his mother country, he was glad to be back.

"Giles!" " Heya G" " Mr. Giles!" greets him as the crowd surges towards him. Despite the anger he feels at the situation(and he is rather angry), he can't help but smile a little at the obviously warm and heart-felt greetings. Arthur Chipping had never had it so good. He knows that he has a lot of work to do, to try to straighten things out. But for the moment, he just accepts(and is touched by) the affection of these young people.

He notes one person hanging back, looking confused and alone. He gently disengages himself from the group encircling him, and walks over to the petite blonde standing by herself. As he approaches, he notes that physically she looks unchanged. He wonders how much she's gone through to try to recapture herself. He knows how strange it feels to have known this young woman so well, and now be a virtual stranger to her. It must be doubly hard on her.

"Hello, Buffy, " he says quietly, looking down at her. She looks up at him, and he notes that her eyes still have that power to fix one's attention. He smiles gently at her.

"H-Hi. I…I know I should know you, but…" Buffy stammers a little, nervously." … I just don't. I'm very sorry".

" I understand" Giles replies, " My name is Giles… Rupert Giles. I am… well, was, you're watcher for many years. I know you don't remember much of anything. I'm hoping we'll become reacquainted. I believe I'm going to be around for awhile."

" I'd like that" Buffy says, sincerely. She senses a closeness to this man, but can't remember what it was, or how it got to be so." They've told me a lot about you" She says indicating the group. Then she has a funny feeling, and her expression changes. " Ice cream" she says, doubtfully, looking at him for an explanation.

" I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't understand?" Giles says, looking at Buffy for a clue.

"There's something about you and ice cream" she says, her face showing her own confusion. "It's weird. It just popped into my head. Something about you … and me… we were talking about something…and ice cream?" She continues to concentrate, her brow furrowed. Then her face brightens a little, and she looks up at him. " It… was in a place with a lot of books…and a cage?" She looks at him doubtfully.

" Yes… the Sunnydale high library" Giles says, feeling a tiny spark of excitement growing in him. Had he jarred a memory in her? Maybe…maybe her memory was gone, but just suppressed! He notes her bewildered expression, and explains" I kept rare and … well, controversial books in the cage. Also, we had the weapons locker in there."

"Weapons?" She asks, then answers, "oh, right, I was a slayer…" She sees his expression and says, " No, I don’t remember that…Faith told me. But what does Ice cream have to do with the library?" She puzzles that over a little, and again, her face lights up. " I… I was upset, cuz I'd done something I hated to do…it was really hard… and I'd been away for awhile?" she looks at him, and he nods, remembering what she's talking about now. She continues, " Yes… and I was still sad…and you wanted… you wanted to comfort me. So you said… I think, anyway, " This is one of those times when one requires vast quantities of Ice cream… so I'm told?"… and I remember it made me smile". She looks up at him hopefully, and sees he's smiling.

" Yes, quite right," He says, softly. He's taken off his glasses, and is cleaning them. He's trying to cover the excitement he's feeling. He doesn't want to get her hopes too high. But … this is quite an accomplishment!

He notices it's gone quiet around them, and he looks, and sees astonishment in the faces surrounding them. He hadn't been aware of when the rest of the group had come over, but it seems the picked up they last part of the conversation.

"Buffy. You remembered something!" Willow says, smiling.

"Yeah, I guess I did" Buffy says, trying to be nonchalant, but beaming a little.

"This is wonderful, Buffy" Tara adds, " Maybe more things will come back to you".

" Yeah… maybe" Buffy says, feeling a little doubtful. She still doesn't know why she remembers this.

" Great, B. Now, if I can get ya to remember to put the towels in the hamper after you use them…." Faith cracks.

"FAITH!" Willow says, perturbed.

"Listen, guys" Faith says, " It's really great Buffy remembers this. But don't be getting all excited. Might be this'll all she'll be remembering. Don’t make a big deal out of it… yet".

" Faith's right" Giles says, agreeing, " Don't expect much. Don't put undue pressure on Buffy to remember more right now. It's best if we just let her come to it in her own time."

" But how long is that going to be, Giles?" Willow asks, " What if we wait years, and she never recovers her memories. What then? Is it fair to let her flounder about, never being who she was? Never remembering her own sister? Or her mom? Or… anything? I mean, don't get me wrong. It's wonderful she remembered that little thing with you and her, but that's not really enough, is it?"

"What are you suggesting, Willow?" Giles says, his voice taking on a faint tinge of frost. Willow doesn't pick up on the subtlety and continues on.

"I've been doing research. I haven't found the right spell yet, but I'm sure if I keep at it, I can find something to aid Buffy's memory." Willow says, excitedly, " I mean, wouldn't it be great? Things would be back to the way they were. I know everybody would be happier. Buffy, Faith, Dawn… everyone. " She looks at Giles, expectantly.

Giles feels a burning sensation at the pit of his stomach. " I see," he says, noncommittally." Maybe we should talk in the kitchen, Willow. I believe we have some things to discuss."

Willow agrees happily. She figures if she can get Giles to see her point of view, he'll naturally agree. With Giles in her corner, there won't be anymore discussion about "fixing" Buffy. It'll get done! Feeling confident, she follows Giles into the kitchen.

The four remaining people in the room stand around feeling rather ill at ease. The events of the evening have been stressful and disconcerting. Everyone is feeling a bit awkward, still trying to cling to the secrets they're holding. An embared ed silence descends on the room.

"Dawn," Buffy finally says, breaking the tension filled silence, " Faith said something about you wanting her gone earlier. What's going on between you two?"

Dawn looks mortified Her eyes go wide… and the wider her eyes get, the tighter her lips compress. This is the last, the VERY last thing I want to talk to YOU about, Buffy. I'm going to suddenly confess that I'm in love with your girl friend? Your girl friend? That's rich. You can't even remember who she is . Yet, she can't see anything but YOU! Oh yeah, we're going to sit down and just chat about my feelings and your feelings for Faith. In what UNIVERSE, Buffy? It’s so damned unfair. You sit there, like the princess, and everything comes falling into your lap, and you don't even appreciate it. ME? I get the be the ugly stepchild, not wanted by the one I want. I swear I wish that Willow had NEVER brought you back! She realizes what she thought, and is ashamed. No, I don't mean that! I just wish it were different! I hate this!

All that passes through her mind in a second. " Nothin' " she says, hanging her head. Faith, understanding Dawn's reluctance, comes to her rescue.

" Hey, Buffy" Faith says, " Look. Before you guys got back, me and Dawn had a fight. A pretty big one." She flashes Dawn a big look saying ' go with me on this one, don't interrupt', then continued, " I caught her trying to sneak out. She got upset, and well we started screaming at each other. A lot of what she said I just let slide, figuring she was pissed cuz I caught her. But she also hit some truths, and well… some of it hurt, and some of it kinda made sense. Red and I been acting like assholes, but I know better, " She said, not able to resist getting that zinger in, " We were so thick headed, tryin' to prove who was right, that we kinda forgot we were makin' the whole house miserable," Faith looks around at them, " I'm really sorry I been a jerk , ok?" She pauses, then continues, " But there was more. She called me on going around, acting all mopey and wimpy. Especially about you, Buffy. She kinda made it clear that if I was interested in renewing a relationship with you, I should do somethin' about it, and stop acting like a hurt, whipped puppy. That doin' that was only pushin' you away, making me bein' here kinda pointless" Faith pauses, looking at Dawn, who's not so sure she's liking where this is going… but keeps quiet because the truth is worse. " She said if I was just gonna go around feelin' sorry for myself, I should get gone".

Buffy looks angry, and turns to Dawn. " What do you think …." She gets out before Faith stops her.

" Whoa. Buff, she was right. I love Dawnie, " Faith says, adding hastily, " like a sister". Dawn looks crestfallen, but keeps silent. Faith continues, " and I'd do anything to make her life better. But frankly, since you been back? It's been kinda rough for me. I've been so ….Well, look, I haven't been watchin' over Dawn like I should, ok? I messed up, badly. I was feelin' sorry for myself, feeling me being here was kinda pointless, "Faith pauses, her face showing the various stuff going on inside her. She finally goes on, " Look, Buffy. We gotta talk. But not here… somewhere else. It's kinda private, and I need not to be doing this with an audience. You get it?"

"Yeah," Buffy replies, doubtfully. She's feeling kind of bewildered, anxious, and maybe a touch hurt, " I get it, I guess".

" How about takin' a walk with me? I know I could use some air" Faith says, needing Buffy to say yes.

"Ok," Buffy replies, unsure but willing, " yeah… I think I could use some air, too".

" I think that's a great idea" Tara says, smiling, " Give me and Dawnie a chance to talk". She looks at Dawn, who's not all that thrilled with the idea. But not having any choice or say in the matter, she remains quiet.

" Good, great" Faith says, getting up. Buffy does likewise, " We'll be back after awhile, if anyone asks" Faith says, making it clear that's all that concerns anyone about whatever she and Buffy are going to discuss. " It's getting kinda late, P-nut, don't stay up all night gossiping with Tara, ok?"

" Yeah, ok," Dawn says, a little sullenly. Faith arches an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. She and Buffy leave.

Dawn watches them go, the wistful look on her face pretty obvious. She turns back, and slumps on the couch, a disgusted expression on her face.

" Like you care" She mutters under her breath. She's feeling a little sorry for herself.

" She does care, honey" Tara says, turning to Dawn, " She cares a lot."

" That's a load, " Dawn says, " She couldn't care less if I lived or died".

"Dawn!" Tara says, irritated, " I think that's rather childish of you. I sort of expect better from you!"

" Well, duh, I'm a child, right?" Dawn replies, upset, " At least, that's what every thi thinks. I'm just a kid. I don't feel grown-up stuff. No, not Dawn. I'm just immature. I got like, puppy love or a crush or something. It's not real, right?"

" Oh, no, Dawnie" Tara says, " It's real alright. Very real. To you, it's the most real thing in the world."

" Yeah sure, " Dawn says, " You're just saying that".

" No, Dawn, I mean it" Tara replies, " I hate to break this to you, Dawn, but you're not the first person to go through this".

" I know that," Dawn says, rolling her eyes, her tone disgusted, " God, I'm not a moron!"

" No, you're not a moron" Tara says, " And yes, you are a moron."

" Huh?" Dawn replies, not quite sure how to take that. Was that an insult?

" You're a bright, intelligent, perceptive young woman, Dawn" Tara answers, " I don't need to tell you that. But when it comes to Faith, I'm afraid you're an idiot."

"Thanks… NOT!" Dawn says ironically." A tip, Tara? Don't become an inspirational speaker, ok?"

Tara sighs, " Dawn. You've got it in your head that Faith doesn't care about you. You don't have a clue. Why do you think Faith's here?"

" Cuz Buffy made her" Dawn replies, a little petulantly.

"See? Moronic response" Tarys, ys, trying not to grin, " Just because Buffy asked her to watch over you, do you think she would if she didn't want to?"

" Well, maybe she wanted to be close to Buffy's grave," Dawn responds, trying to switch approaches.

" Dawn, think about it. She could've lived elsewhere and still be close to Buffy's grave" Tara says, " She didn't need to be here."

" Yeah, but here she'd be reminded of Buffy, this being her house and all" Dawn shoots back.

" True, but on the other hand, it'd be pure torture for her. Everything around here would remind her of Buffy, and her loss" Tara replies, " Don't you think it's been hard for her to live here?"

Dawn hadn't considered that, " uh… no".

" The reason Faith stayed around is because she loves you, very much" Tara says, " Not romantically, but on even a deeper level. She loves you like she'd love a little sister. She never HAD a little sister," Tara smiles at Dawn, " I've known Faith a couple of years now. One of the things she always wanted, and never had, was a little sister she could share things with."

"I don't wanna be her sister, " Dawn cries, " I want Faith!"

"Dawn, sweetie", Tara says, gently, " We sometimes … heck, lots of times, want things we simply can't have. Even if Buffy hadn't come back, a romantic relationship between you and Faith just isn't going to happen".

" How do you know? I'm not a kid, I'd be patient," Dawn said, " I'd wait til she thought she could accept it. Why do you just dismiss it like it's impossible?"

" Because it's impossible, honey" Tara replies, trying to soften the blow, " She just doesn’t see you that way. To her, you're always going to be her sister."

"You're wrong!" Dawn cries, " I know you're wrong. Given time, she'd see me as…I am. Not as Buffy's sister, but … as a woman."

" Dawn, honey" Tara says, gently, " You've got to accept the truth".

" But it's not the truth, " Dawn says, " Anyway, there are ways… " She trails off. I … I could do a love spell.

" A love spell, Dawn?" Tara says, almost as if reading Dawn's thoughts, " Is that what you really want? Faith … loving you, not because of you, but because of some spell?"

"YES!" Dawn exclaims. Then her face falls, and she mumbles, " No…". She trails off. She wants Faith, but only if Faith loves her, really loves her. Sees who she is. She realizes that even if Faith were to do that, she… It's so unfair! Why? Why'd you do this to me? Why'd you make me love her , and keep her from me? Not let her love me back? Why? Dawn sits, looking at her hands. Stupid hands. Stupid body… stupid… I'm just some damned kid. I'll never be adult enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or anything enough. I… she'll always see me as …damn. Dawn's face starts to get red, her eyes getting wet. Even before there's any sound, tears start to fall down her cheeks. She looks up, and sees Tara watching her. She sees the sympathy and understanding in Tara's face. She leans on Tara, her tears starting to become sobs.

" Why? Why is this happening to me? I… I love her so much, and she can't understand that. She'll never understand that. She'll never see me like that. Why? It hurts so much, Tara. It hurts so much".

Tara holds Dawn, quietly letting her cry out her pain. She runs her hand through her long brown hair, and pats her gently, now and then, encouraging her to let it out. She knows it'll start to heal for her now. The power of healing tears has begun. She's accepted reality, and will be able to start to let go of her fantasy. But she knows how much it hurts. How it's going to keep hurting for days, weeks, months… even years.

She knows how it feels to love and not be loved back.

" I know, I know you think things are bad, Giles. But don't worry, I've got it all under control" Willow says, with confidence.

She and Giles are in the kitchen, away from the others. Willow is sitting at the breakfast nook, not looking directly at Giles, while Giles is standing by the sink, looking out the window. It looks as if he's not paying attention, but he's all ears, catching everything Willow is saying.

"I've been researching, Giles" Willow says, explaining, " I've been looking through all the books I can lay my hands on, and on the 'net, and at the local Wicca groups. I haven't found a precise spell yet, but I've got some good leads. I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll soon be able to find the right spell. I'll be able to restore Buffy's memories. I know it. I know I can fix this" Willow babbles on, trying to justify her actions as much to herself as to Giles.

Giles turns away from the window, and looks at Willow. His mouth is set in a hard, grim line. His eyes are intense… the effect somewhat magnified by his glasses. There is no mistaking his mood.

" You bloody fool. Do you have any idea at all what you've done?" Giles says, harshly.

"Giles" Willow says, surprised. She turns to him, and sees his expression.

" Do you have any idea how … dangerous the forces are that you've been playing with? You've tapped into dark forces, powers so old and dangerous, they're not meant for this plane of existence. They're hidden for a reason, Willow. They always… always … have consequences. " Giles says, keeping his voice low, trying to control his fury.

" Giles, " Willow responds, defensively, " I thought… I thought you'd be happy Buffy is back".

" The fact that Buffy is alive doesn't mitigate what you've done" Giles says." Resurrection rituals are extremely dangerous. Didn't you're research mention that?" His tone is sarcastic, he doesn't wait for a reply, " The magicks are tricky, the rituals complicated. One wrong word, one wrong intonation, can make it go wrong… horribly wrong. Even the Gods hesitate to use those magicks. They're just too treacherous for … amateurs ".

Willow's face hardens. " I'm not an amateur, Giles" Willow says, tightly. " You seem to think I did this lightly. Believe me, it wasn't an easy decision to make. But what choice did I have, Giles?" Willow says, her temper starting to rise, " I was left with a houseful of people so broken up by Buffy's death, they couldn't function. Left, by the way, by you! Don't you think we could've used your help these past months? Do you really believe it's been easy to deal with Buffy's death?" Willow's face starts to flush, " What about Faith, Giles? She was you're slayer, too. She could've certainly used your help. Who did she have to turn to in her grief? And Dawn? How do you think she coped with Buffy dying to save her life? Think she isn't just a little guilt ridden? Never mind her sister and mother died in the space of 2 months." Willow's fury is beginning to match Giles, " And me, Giles, what about me? I lost my best friend. Don't thi think that hurt? I guess not, because instead of staying with the people who needed you, needed your guidance, you la-la skipped back to England, leaving us in the lurch". She switches tacks, " And Buffy, Giles. We had no idea, when she jumped into that portal, where she went. She could've been sucked into some hell dimension. Was I supposed to leave my best friend there, to suffer untold torment? Tell me, Giles, what EXACTLY was I supposed to do?".

Giles squeezes the bridge of his nose above his glasses. He is obviously upset.

" Willow, you're right on one small point," Giles says, softly, " I never should've left. I thought I was irrelevant here, that my role as… advisor was no longer needed. I was also grieving, and I selfishly let it cloud my judgment. For that, I'm terribly sorry" He says, " but that still doesn't justify your actions. What you've done has had a ripple effect, Willow" Giles says, moderating his tone. Being too harsh is not going to get his point across to her, " Magic, all magic, has consequences. There is a delicate balance between the light and dark forces in the universe. Each time magic is used, it throws the balance off a little. Most of the times, it's balanced by forces on the other side using magic." He pauses, organizing his thoughts. He goes on, his tone betraying a little fear, " What you've done has sent ripples not only hthroug this dimension, but all the dimensions, Willow. Before coming here, I consulted with a friend in Devonshire. He heads a coven. They got together, and after many spells, they determined that your actions have long reaching consequences. Are you aware of that?" He says, his tone quiet, but firm.

"N-no" Willow replies. She's beginning to feel a bit queasy.

" Bringing Buffy back, changing the course of events, has unbalanced the scales between light and dark. The balance has been tipped to far towards the light. There is no other magic that nearly equals the power of what you did. This situation can't remain unresolved." Giles stops, trying to remember everything the coven leader told him. " I told you earlier that your actions will have consequences. Do you remember?" Giles asks.

"Y-yes" Willow says. She's getting a very bad feeling.

" I fear that the forces of the dark are not going to just allow this situation to remain. They are going to trigger actions to rebalance the scales. It's likely that what you've done is bring on another apocalypse." Giles says, not sugar-coating it.

Willow's face goes white. She never realized that that her actions could have such far-reaching consequences. She turns to Giles again.

" I…I don't understand, Giles. Her death wasn't natural, it was … mystical. It shouldn't have…" Willow says, but Giles interrupts her.

" You still aren't understanding, Willow" Giles sighs, " It's not the resurrection itself that cause the imbalance. It's that you brought Buffy back!".

Willow looks at him, confused.

" Buffy was the active slayer," Giles explains." She died once, fighting the master, and was revived. This called Kendra, who started a new line of slayers. Buffy's line was no longer active. That ended with her death, no matter how brief. But, when she was revived, it caused an imbalance. To correct that, Kendra and her line were never the active line. She had the powers, as did Faith who followed her, after her death. But they were never THE chosen one. Not as long as Buffy lived. Though the line continues through them, that is, a new slayer won't be called unless Faith dies, Buffy was the chosen one. That is the only way two slayers could co-exist at one time. One active, one inactive. Things were thrown a bit off when Faith met Buffy in L.A. According to the Pergamum Codex, their meeting wasn't supposed to happen that way. It was supposed to happen later that year… in Sunnydale. The path Faith took was supposed to be different, and a lot darker. That they met sooner, and Faith… didn't follow through on her 'destiny', had already thrown things out of balance. But that was minor in comparison, and was balanced by a greater activity in the Hellmouth. "

"The change in their relationship had consequences. Though the rise of Glory had already been predicted, having two slayers changed things. One or the other had to die fighting Glory. It wasn't known which. That was never clear. Faith could've easily have been the one to die, and keep the balance. But it was Buffy who chose to die… remember, she chose to die, to save Dawn. Even if she hadn't, one or the other would've died that night. I found that out, later, in England. It was fated, to rebalance the scales again." Giles stops. He looks at Willow, to see if she's following. Not getting any reaction, he continues, " When Buffy died that night, things changed. Faith became The Chosen One. She was now the champion of light, and those that followed her, if and when she died, would be the active slayers. The balance had been restored."

" But, you changed the rules, Willow" Giles says, unhappily." You brought Buffy back. Once a slayer is active, you can't de-activate her. It doesn't work that way. So, now , we've got two active slayers… the chosen two. That's never supposed to happen. There's no precedence for it. Things are way out of balance. The rules have changed, permanently. It no longer matters if one or the other dies, that won't reset the balance. There could be a thousand slayers, or none, and the situation won't change. Rebalancing the scales will take some kind of cataclysmic event; perhaps a heretofore unknown apocalypse. That's what we’re facing. We have no idea of when, or how, or who or what we'll be dealing with, but it's going to happen!".

Willow no longer feels queasy. She feels deathly ill. The weight of what she's done is beginning to crush down on her. The guilt… she's triggered the end of the world… is overwhelming. She'd known through her studies of Wicca that there were consequences to her magic, but … she never suspected this. She wouldn't, couldn’t look at Giles. She was so ashamed. I've doomed us… doomed us all. Goddess, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? How can I make this right? I can't, I can't make this right. I've gotta do something, but I can't. I can't. There's nothing I can do. Nothing. She finally realizes, in her way, what Buffy and Faith have had to live with for their entire careers as slayers. The weight of the world is on her shoulders.

"What do I do, Giles?" Willow asks in supplication, " I don't know what to do!" Her arrogance is gone. She's like a child, pleading with her father to help her, to make it better.

Giles looks at her, and realizes she's genuinely remorseful. He doesn't hate Willow. If he could, he would take this burden from her. But he knows there is no way to ease her guilt or pain. No one can do that for her. All he can do is offer support.

" There's nothing anyone can do right now, Willow. Not until we know more, " He says, truthfully, " all we can do is wait, and monitor the situation. The coven at Devonshire is doing that now. Once we know more, have an idea of who or what we're facing, then we can plan. Right now there's nothing to do but wait." He pauses. There's more, but it's even harder. He looks at her, and wishes he didn't have to go on, but he does, " Also, Willow, for now, this is our secret. You can't tell anyone. You have to pretend things are normal. Telling them now will only panic them. Once we know more, then we'll tell them together."

" I understand" She says, her voice barely above a whisper. It cracks, her guilt already weighing heavily on her, " Giles, how'm I going to look at them… knowing what I know? How can I face them?" She asks. She can barely look at him.

" You're going to have to figure some way to do it, Willow" Giles says, not unkindly, but firmly nonetheless." This is your punishment, I fear. I can't do it for you; you have to deal with it alone." She nods her understanding, and looks away.

He walks over to her, laying his hands on her shoulders. He knows in his heart she wasn't evil, just foolish. He does his best to comfort her, but there really isn't any comfort for her.

She leans back against him, needing the contact. She cries silently, the tears falling down her cheeks, but not making a sound. She finally speaks.

" I … I never meant this to happen, Giles" She says, her voice breaking, " I…I was only trying to fix things. Everybody…was so miserable… I thought… I thought I could make it better… make it right again. I didn't know, Giles… I didn't know, " She stops, trying to catch her breath," I only wanted to make it all right again. I just wanted to make it better." She looks up at him, sorrowfully, " I screwed it up. I screwed it all up. I… I hurt them all, Giles. Faith… Tara… Buffy. How do I make it better, Giles? Please… please…help me make it better." She dissolves into tears, not able to talk anymore.

He looks down at her, feeling sorry for her, but only able to offer this cold, silent comfort.

It'll be a long time before she can be at peace in her heart again.

Faith and Buffy walk quietly down Revello Drive.

Faith knows she has to talk to Buffy about her feelings, about their relationship. Whatever that is now. She's finding it hard to begin, however. A thousand memories assail her, all little bits of her life with Buffy. It feels so strange to be walking here, with her, beside her, and not be holding her hand. She doesn't know how to approach her; it's not the same person she's loved for so long… yet she is the same, all too familiar. She talks like her, walks like her. Her smile shoots little darts into Faith's heart. Her eyes are still change with her moods. She still gets that little inflection when she's doubtful about something.

But what's in her head? In her heart? Faith doesn't have a clue. It makes her uneasy. She's spent so long sussing out Buffy's moods, the little clues she'd throw to let Faith know what's what. Knowing by a word, a gesture where her heart, her mind is. All of that is gone. Faith can't read her anymore, and it scares her. So she walks, quietly, trying to figure out how to begin.

And Buffy, like she'd done so many times in the past, blows Faith away once again. She slipped her hand into Faith's, lacing her fingers with Faiths. Faith nearly trips over her own feet. She gives Buffy a questioning look, but Buffy acts like it's the most natural thing in the world. This is too scary, Faith thinks, even when she's not herself, not really, she does some little thing that blows me away. How gone, how damned lost am I?

" Didn't you want to talk to me about something?" Buffy asked, turning to Faith. Faith's expression made her giggle. " What is it? You look like a snake bit you." Buffy says, smiling.

"Uhhh… it's nothing" Faith says, covering. She's confused, but not wanting to call attention to the hand-holding. She's afraid Buffy will take her hand back. She so doesn't want that to happen.

"Ok, it's nothing then" Buffy says, doubtfully. " But we're out here. It's a beautiful night, the weather's nice…full moony and all. Back there you said you wanted to talk to me in private. But we haven't been doing too much of the talking" Buffy says, looking at Faith. " We can just walk, enjoy the night. Maybe we'll run into some of those vampires again, and you'll get all tough and fighty, and I'll get all scared and go hide … so, what do you think? Should we talk before, or just wait for the bumpy-faced guys to show up?".

Faith looks at Buffy, and can't help feeling the irony of the situation. For 3 years, she wanted nothing more than Buffy to say exactly that… and mean it, as she seems to mean it now. Lets talk, openly, no barriers, no hiding. Just talk to each other. Really talk to each other. But it takes an apocalypse, and Buffy dying, and being brought back sans memory, to bring it all about. The worst part? The absolute worst? Now that I got her here, now that she's all like paying attention, not worrying about other stuff, or trying to keep something back, or hide? I'm… I can't figure how to talk to her! How can I tell her how I feel, what I need, without scaring her off? Making her feel weird, or pressured or whatever. What do I say to her? This is so BOGUS! At 16, I knew what to say to a cute little blonde waitress named Annie aka Buffy aka The slayer. It was so easy… maybe cuz I didn't have no junk invested. It was all new for both of us. That so isn't what's happening now. I got 3 years plus of memories and stuff about her, and she's got zip. It's back to square one for her, and I gotta figure a way to make my way back there, or bring her here. How do I do that, knowing what I know about her.

But WHAT do I know about her? I mean, the woman standing right here in front of me, not the Buffy I knew? Is she even the same girl? Deep inside? Or is she different? Do I even love her, I mean' the her' that's here, now? Maybe I need to think of it as all new again? Maybe we need to start again, Me Faith, her Buffy… and learn about each other again. Because no matter what we tell her, she's not going to be the same Buffy, probably ever again. Not without her memories, not without those things that made her Buffy.

She's still Buffy to me. How do I throw out all I know? How do I pretend it like never happened? This is so confusing. I haven't a clue. I hate being clueless. Grrr.

"Faith? Are you with me? Did you fly off somewhere into La-La- land? Earth to Faith, we’ve lost transmission. Faith? FAITH!?" Buffy says, seeing the dark haired girl lost in her thoughts.

It's so strange, Buffy thinks, but then, the girl is … strange. Well, ok, not strange, but totally weirds me out sometimes. I never know exactly what she's thinking. Should I? I feel I should, but I get so confused around her. I mean, I watch her with others, and she's like right out front there, bold, and take no shit from no one. But when I try to talk to her, or visa versa, I get this like… she's all lost and confused vibe. She gets all shy and tongue tied, kinda, and looks at me like I'm gonna bite her. Like she totally wants to be my friend, and …yet, I feel more coming from her, and she doesn't know what to do about it. Like she's scared I'm gonna think she's a joke. Why would she think that, anyway? I don't think I've been mean to her, or nothing. I haven't tried to hurt her feelings. I don't want to hurt her. It's really wiggy, cause I get around her, and I feel all comfortable like. And more. And from what Tara's told me, we had lots more… and it doesn't like… freak me out. God, I wish I could just remember. Tara tells me we had this special thing… love, ok, love… and it was beautiful. God, I so want that. Who doesn't? But it's even more than what Tara tells me, I feel it… all inside me. I can feel how much we… click. It's more than we're like Super chicks together. At least, that's what I understand. But there's more there, something else. Something special. Something I really DON'T want to lose. How do I ... how do I make her know I want to … I want to make it happen again, if we can? God, I hate this, I feel clueless… and I hate feeling clueless. Grrr.

" Huh?" Buffy asks, realizing Faith said something to her

"What?" Faith repeats, thinking she's boring Buffy. " What did you say to me?"

"Huh? Oh, heh" Buffy says, her cheeks going a little red, " I was kinda poking fun at you, trying to get your attention cuz you seemed distracted, then I go get all in my head. Heh, funny, huh?" Buffy says, feeling rather foolish.

Faith looks at her… and then seems to go insane. She starts to chuckle… the chuckle blows up into a laugh…then she's laughing and laughing. Buffy stands there, puzzled… but catches the laugh. She's not sure why she's laughing, but she can't help it… it all seems so ridiculous…she starts to laugh as crazily as Faith… and when they look at each other, the laughing just gets harder and harder… soon they aren't standing anymore, they're laughing so hard their knees give out… without intending it, they kinda lean on each other, falling on their butts on the grass, laughing hysterically at nothing at all. Each time they look at each other, the gales of laughter just break out again. This goes on until they're both so breathless, they have to stop. Their eyes are watering, their sides hurt from laughter… They're hiccupping, but they still burst out in an occasional chortle. Finally, just leaning against each other, back to back, they force themselves to calm down.

"W-what … are w-we … laughing at?" Buffy says, her breath still hitching. She's trying desperately not to laugh again, but she can so feel the giggle tickling at her tummy. She hiccups.

"We're … morons, … you idiot" Faith says, her breath still somewhat lost, trying to breath slowly to regain her composure, which is only half working.

"Excuse me?" Buffy says, a little offended. She turns to Faith, feeling irritated, and then bursts out laughing again.

"Stop it… Stop it" Faith says weakly, but starts laughing again herself.

This continues for another five minutes, until they're both so breathless, they’re laying on their backs, wheezing.

"Ok… ok" Buffy says, finally bringing her breathing under control. "Why'd you call me a moron? If anyone's a moron, it's you!" Buffy sounds a little put out.

"You're right, Buffy" Faith says, leaning on her elbow. She's still breathing heavily, trying to get air in her lungs, " I'm a total moron". Faith, not thinking about it, is leaning over Buffy, her hair hanging down loose, smiling at her. Buffy looks up at her. I never noticed how beautiful her eyes are… huh?

"Ok, glad we settled that," Buffy says, " One question… why're you a moron?".

Faith snorts, figuring it's pretty plain, but explains, " Look, Buffy, " She says, her tone serious now. "I've been having trouble figuring out how to feel about you since you … well, since you returned, " Faith says, " I mean, I know how I used to feel about you… before you… well…before, anyway. I know how I felt about Buffy. But, you're not Buffy, are you?"

" I'm not?" Buffy asks, bewildered, " But, you guys told me I'm Buffy. What's going on? Were you like lying to me?"

" No… no… you're Buffy. I mean, you're not that Buffy anymore… the Buffy before…ok, well, before you died." Faith says, hating to use the 'D' word. " You talk like her, look like her, smell like her…sometimes, its so close to 'her' that it's scary" Faith says, " But you're not her. Not anymore, anyway." Buffy looks at her quizzically , and Faith tries to explain, " what's in here" she gently taps Buffy's forehead, " isn't the same as it was. You don't remember … you … don't have those memories, or thoughts like you used to think… get it?" Buffy nods, getting it; but looks doubtful nonetheless. Faith goes on," You're a different person now, see?" Buffy does see… it sinks in. She nods again, maybe a little sadly.

" That's what's been so weird for me, Buffy. I see you, but I'm seeing the 'other' Buffy. The Buffy I knew. The Buffy I loved, the Buffy who loved me. I have all these feelings inside for you, but it's not you… it's the 'other' Buffy. When I realized you lost your memory, didn't know who I was, or who you were, I was sick… heartsick. Up to that time, I still had you, here" Faith points at her heart. "But here you were, back, and not knowing me from any other stranger. It hurt, hurt very badly. Cuz I was so in love with you, and you felt… nothing. Not love, not hate… not anything except maybe confusion and a touch of fear. I couldn't even make it better about the fear… cuz you didn't know me, who I was, what I'd meant( or hope I meant) to you. It was like you were a blank… nothing there… do you see?" Faith asks, concerned she's losing Buffy, and that she might be upset about it all.

Buffy nods. She's trying to encourage Faith to go on. It's important what she's saying, and there's more… Thing is, Faith, it's not all entirely a blank, there's something here… I can feel it.

"I've been avoiding you, Buffy" Faith says, " and avoiding my feelings. Because I was scared, and hurting. Scared thinking about a life without you at its center. Hurting because no matter what, it would never be the same between you and me. Ever. I didn't want to face the fact that the Buffy I knew was gone." Faith stops, feeling the hurt welling up in her again. " She was my everything. Don't you see? No matter how bad it got, I knew that I …we… would be together, somehow, forever. But… not now… not ever again." Faith , despite her wishes, feels a tear going down her cheek. Damn, now she's gonna get all … wigged again. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? Shit, I'm such an idiot!!

Buffy looks up at Faith, seeing the tear crossing her cheek. God she loves… loved… me so much. What kinda cold bitch would I be if I didn’t feel… something in return? Aw, screw all this thinking crap. Buffy reaches up, and gently wipes the tear away on Faith's cheek. Faith recoils, and sits up, moving away and turning her back. Buffy is… flummoxed . What'd I do? God, what's wrong?

"Faith? What's wrong? What'd I do wrong?" Buffy asks, sitting up.

"Nothing, " Faith says, her voice edgy, " You didn't do nothing wrong. I told ya, I'm a moron".

" Stop that!" Buffy cries, " you're not a moron!"

" Oh yeah, I'm so a moron" Faith says, her voice bitter, " I'm talking about this other woman to you, a woman you don't know, don't care about … why should you?… and I'm pouring my heart out to you, like you’re her , and you're not her. All I wanted to say was that I wanted to accept you as you are, whoever you are, and go on from there. Expecting nothing. But I look at you, and she's looking back at me, and it hurts, hurts so bad. And all I can think that is I want you so bad, and I can't have you, and it's torture, and you touch me.. .and it hurts". Faith sits there, rocking back and forth, hugging herself. She starts to sob, the pain breaking out all over again. She punches the ground, and gets up, angry with herself. " No tears, goddamn it, no more fucking tears." She starts to pace back and forth, feeling all jittery and angry and hurt, " Damn, I swore I wouldn't cry over you anymore!" Faith cries out, but she's crying anyway, " Damn, what's my problem? Dammit, dammit, dammit!" She stalks over to where Buffy is sitting. " WHY? WHY?"

Buffy, confused and scared, never having seen Faith this upset before, just repeats, " Why?"

" Why… why didn't you trust me enough? What did I do wrong? Why? Why did you leave me. WHY? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME????". Faith cries out, hurt and angry. She starts to walk off, but her knees give out and she falls to the ground. She hunches over, pounding on the ground, trying to punish it. " WHY? What did I do wrong? Why couldn't you let me help you, Buffy? Why did you have to go and leave me alone?". She stops hitting the ground, just kneeling there, letting the sobs wrack through her." I failed you, I failed you, god I failed you" She cries, in utter misery.

Buffy, her heart breaking, watching this woman go to pieces, goes over. She puts her arms around her, and holds her. She feels her own tears coming, and starts to cry along with Faith.

"I'm sorry, Faith, I'm sorry" She cries, " I'm sorry". She holds Faith, trying to ease her pain. She wants to take it from her, make it easier for her… anything to make her not hurt so much.

Faith pulls herself together, feeling mortified for losing control. She looks up at Buffy.

" I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't… I didn't mean to lose it, yell at you. I'm sorry" She says, hating to see the tears she's caused.

Buffy struggles to stop crying. It's hard, knowing the pain this woman is in. But she's got to be strong now. For Faith.

"Faith, look at me" Buffy asks, quietly, " Please, look at me."

Faith looks at the ground. " I can't… it hurts too much, I just can't"

Buffy takes Faith's face in her hands, and gently, but firmly, brings it up so she's looking at Buffy.

"She's gone, Faith" Buffy says quietly, " I'm not her. She's gone. You gotta accept that" Buffy says, firmly.

" I know" Faith says, quietly, morosely, " I know". She struggles to look down, but Buffy won't let her.

" Thing is, Faith?" Buffy says, and she knows this is going to get a reaction, " She was an idiot!"

"WHAT!!!!????!!!!" Faith growls, her face flushing crimson, " How dare you! You don't know anything about her! How dare you?" She struggles against Buffy, but Buffy's not having any of it.

" You're right, Faith. I don't know her. But I know this. If she was so damned blind to not see how much you loved her, how much… you adored her, she was the biggest moron this planet ever had!" Buffy says, vehemently.

Faith looks at her, shocked.

" I'm not her. I know that" Buffy says, fervently, " but I wish… god I wish I was her. To have someone love me like you do her? But if I was her, I'd want to see you as I see you now! " Buffy lets go of Faith, and stands up. " God, I know it's been hard on you, Faith. I can see that. But it's been hard on me too!" Buffy turns back to Faith, and kneels by her. " I'm… I don't know who I am, what I'm supposed to be. But I know what I'm feeling. What I've been feeling. Since I came back, I've been feeling these feelings that scared me. Cuz I shouldn't feel them, but I do . About you. I feel this junk, and it's not right, cause I don't know you, but I feel it. Here! " Buffy points at her heart, " All this stuff whirling in me , scaring me silly. I don't… oh forget this, enough talk!" With that, she moves to Faith, and before Faith can react, grabs her, pulls her close and kisses her.

Faith struggles against her, but Buffy holds her tight. Gradually, Faith stops struggling. Then her arms go around Buffy, and pull her tighter to her. The kiss lingers… and lingers. Finally, they break to breathe. They look at each other. Faith is shocked and bemused. Buffy is amazed and her heart is thumping like a hammer in her chest.

"What?" Faith asks, bewildered, but definitely liking it, "What?"

" Too much talk. Just kiss me, stupid" Buffy says, pulling Faith into another kiss.

By mutual silent consent, they sort of fall over, laying side by side. They move closer, pulling each other closer. The kiss goes on, getting more needy and passionate. They are lost in their own little world.

" Awww, now aint that just the sweetest thing you ever did see?" The voice drifted over them, startling them. They break apart, and see a few figures surrounding them.

" Yeah, and they're so cute, too" The second vampire says. " Hey, I always wondered something?"

"What's that?" The first vampire asks.

" Well… always wondered if lesbo blood tasted any different ? Ya know, I surely like to find out!"

By this time, Buffy and Faith are on their feet… they start to back away, but a third vampire stops them.

" Now, girls" the vampire says, " Wouldn't be sporting to leave the party before my friend here" the third vampire indicates the second one," Has a chance to find out, don't you think?"

"Well, Gomer" Faith says, her voice getting an edge, " I really hate to be a spoilsport, but I got other things to do". With that, she brings her booted foot down, hard, on the vampire's foot. Buffy follows suit, and the vampire screams in agony. The scream gets louder when Faith brings her foot up between his legs, hard. He bends over, just in time to get a knee to his face, and a stake to his back. He dissolves.

Buffy panics. She runs away… but in the wrong direction…right into vamps 1 and 2. They grab her, and she screams. "FAITH!"

Faith runs towards the other vampires, but they turn and run, not wanting to confront the slayer. They take Buffy with them. Faith, pissed off, pulls a stake out, and throws it…. And hits number 2, turning him into Hoover material. The first vamp, thrown off by suddenly losing his partner, who was also holding Buffy, wobbles, releasing Buffy, who runs like hell… as far as she can get. Faith catches up to vamp one, and roundhouse kicks him in the butt, sending him face first into the ground.

But Faith doesn't stake him. After the emotional roller coaster she's been on this evening, she's out of control. She starts to kick him, beat on him. She wants blood, because he nearly took Buffy away from her… again! She goes to town on him, her fists and feet moving like a blur, pounding him to a pulp.

Buffy, scared , watches from behind a tall headstone, at a safe distance. She watches Faith with fascination, and a touch of horror. Fascination with how fast she moves, how she seems to be a fighting machine, never tiring. A little horrified, because Faith seems to be taking pleasure(no, that can't be right…) ,or something, from beating this vampire to a pulp. She's never seen Faith so … violent before. She just staked the other vampires, but this one… she closes her eyes, not wanting to watch anymore.

Faith finally tires of playing with the vampire, and stakes him. In her rage, she forgot all about Buffy, and now is scared she wandered off, getting herself into more trouble. I can't get used to the idea of a helpless Buffy. Dammit, I'm an idiot… she could be anywhere… or getting attacked by other vamps. Why can't I keep my mind on what the hell I'm doing? Shit, shit, shit! Where is she?

"Buffy? BUFFEE?" Faith calls out, looking around for the little blonde woman. " Buffy, it's ok. You can come out, it's safe now!"

Buffy cowers behind the headstone, her face reflecting her shock. Up until now, she had no idea Faith was capable of such rage, such violence. It scared her a little to think that a not that long ago, Faith was holding her in her arms, kissing her passionately . What if she lost control… with me? Would I look like that vampire? The thought gives her a major chill. Was I wrong about Faith? What if she got angry with me… really angry. Would she go off on me? No, that can't be right. She… God I gotta think.

" Buffy… BUFFEEE Please" Faith calls out, starting to feel the icy strings of panic wrapping around her heart. Dammit. If anything happened to her while I was goin' postal on that vamp… damn. " Buffy…please, answer me!" Faith starts trotting, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

Buffy, in the meantime, seeing Faith move off, starts off herself in a different direction. She just wants to get home now, think this over. Maybe I did something…something to break her. I only kissed her… but what if she's so upset about losing the other 'Buffy' that it triggered something bad in her? Shit, this is so not good. I don't want to hurt her… and I don't want to get hurt, either. It was just a kiss, for Christ's sake… just a stupid kiss. Damn me, I gotta…damn… she starts to run.

Faith, sensing movement behind her, whirls around, in time to see Buffy running off . " Buffy! BUFFY! Wait… wait up!". But Buffy, hearing her calling, only starts to run faster. Faith, thinking Buffy is in blind panic, kicks in her run, and starts to close the gap between them. " Buffy… Buffy! It's ok, it’s just me!" Faith calls out, trying to get her to stop. Damn, she doesn't hear me!

Buffy almost makes it to the cemetery gates. About 20 yards away, she's running and doesn't see the low marker. She trips, going head over heels and falling on her back. She lays there, stunned.

Faith finally catches up to her. She kneels by Buffy, checking to see if she's ok. Buffy rouses, sees Faith, and starts to back away, covering herself with her arms. She backs away, sliding back across the grass.

"Please… please don't hurt me" Buffy says, her voice panicky.

"Buffy?" Faith says, soothingly, trying to calm her. " It's ok, it's me, Faith. You're safe. It's ok…"

"I saw you. You… you … demolished that vampire, you weren't trying to kill it… you were beating it to a pulp. You… you … were enjoying it… god, what got into you?" Buffy says, looking for an escape. She gets on her feet, and tries to feint Faith, hoping to get around her. Faith just flows with her, blocking her exit. Buffy backs away, scared.

"Buffy, Buffy, " Faith says, quietly, gently, trying to calm her down, reassure her. " Honey, I'd never hurt you!" She advances slowly, non-threateningly on Buffy, trying to keep from panicking her again, " Buffy, it's ok. Look at me. Stop, I won't hurt you, I promise!"

Buffy is torn. She's come to know, or think she knows, Faith. Strong, tough and brave, but gentle and sweet, too. She knows that somewhere, she's beginning to fall for the dark haired woman. But… seeing her so… out of control has scared her. She doesn't know what to do, and she's paralyzed. She makes a soft mewling whimper, and her fear and anguish take over. She starts to cry , standing stock still.

Faith comes to her, and puts her arms around Buffy. Buffy cringes, as if afraid she's next on the hit parade. Faith just holds her, trying to allay her fear.

"It's ok, Buffy," Faith says softly, " it's ok. I won't… won't ever hurt you" . She rubs Buffy's back, and holds her as the smaller woman shivers in fear in her arms. She continues, " I'm sorry, honey. I just got so… upset, thinking that … monster would hurt you, kill you. I lost control." Buffy, feeling the warmth of Faith's arms, the soothing softness of her words and actions, slowly relaxes into Faith's embrace. Faith holds her, and says, " I promise, Buffy, that'll never happen again. I just got so scared, thinking I'd lose you. Forgive me, please?"

Buffy looks up at Faith, seeing the sorrow and concern in her eyes. She says quietly, " I… I'm such a coward. I got scared, and when I saw you…get all postal on that vamp, I just lost it… I… I'm sorry. God, I hate this place. Can we go home now? Please?"

" Of course, " Faith says, gently releasing Buffy and turning to walk towards home. Buffy makes a small, mewling sound, and Faith turns back. " What is it?"

" Please… hold me? Til we get home? I just need… I…please?" Buffy says. Faith sees the fear in Buffy's eyes. She puts her arm around Buffy, and they start to walk back to the house. Buffy slips her arm around Faith's waist, and leans against her.

I gotta start controlling my temper. God, I never want her to… fear me. Faith sighs, Good one, Faith. It seems things were just starting to come together… maybe there would be something between us again( God, did she really jump ME? That is so… Un-Buffy! Or maybe, that's this Buffy… and I gotta see that this Buffy is the one I'm gonna …love? Yeah…I think so, I really think so.

Faith realizes , as they're walking home, that big changes are happening in her life. That she's gotta make changes to herself, how she thinks about herself, and how she thinks about Buffy. This isn't the old Buffy. I'll… never see her again…not completely. Even if she gets her memories back, she's changed. I'm gonna have to win her all over again. But somehow, I want to. I really want to! I gotta change, be more… out there. I gotta family to look after now. A family!

Faith is almost giddy at the thought. A family.

Her family!

To be continued.
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Timeless Faith

Timeless Faith