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What Was I Thinking!?!	By : MrsMuir Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 7784 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
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lasslass=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Chapter 9

Everyone froze and no one
made a sound. They all stared in trepidation at the Sheriff who was coming
straight for Buffy and Spike. To give him credit he didn�t move from her side.
He stood holding her cooler in one hand while his other hand rested on her
lower back. She was trembling and she prayed he couldn�t tell. Forcing the
woman she wanted to be to the surface, Buffy lifted her chin slightly as she
waited for her father.

�Hello, Buffy,� Hank said,
barely glancing at her before sending a scathing look to Spike then his gaze
swept through the car. �I was told this wasn�t a date situation.�

�It wasn�t,� Buffy said,
reaching her her cooler. �Plans had already been made with Cordelia and our
usual crowd.� She hated explaining herself to him. �Lindsey and Spike went
along to see old friends. And we gave Harmony a ride home.�

She stared her father in the
eye, almost daring him to start something. She was at least relieved he wasn�t
in his uniform which would have only made the intimidation factor worse. In
civilian clothes, he looked like any other father checking up on his daughter.
He reached to take her beach bag, she pulled it back and handed him the cooler
instead. The last thing she needed was him finding the towel Spike had used.

�Coming in the house?� Hank asked
when he started to move away and Buffy didn�t follow.

< sty style='font-family:Arial'>

�I�m just going to say
good-night then I�ll be in.�

�All right,� Hank said, and
continued to the house.

He would be staring out the
window until she was, too. It meant no decent good-night kiss. Buffy looked up
at Spike wishing they could have a real night together.

�Night, Spike,� Buffy said,
stepping away from him. �I guess I�ll see you tomorrow night.�

He slipped his arm around
her waist, pulling her against him. She made a feeble note of protest but Spike
only smiled. His kiss was almost chaste, but definitely sweet enough to make
her want more. He rubbed his nose against hers.

�Thank you, pet, I�ll be
counting the minutes until I see you again.�

She smiled. She doubted it
but appreciated it anyway. He walked her around the edge of the SUV then gave
her hand a last squeeze before getting in. She waved at everyone and shouted a
good night before hurrying into the house.

Both of her parents were
waiting in the living room for her. Buffy turned and gave the SUV speeding away
one last look of longing. Her life was out there, not in this house where she
was always in trouble or the cause of trouble. With regret she shut the door,
locking it firmly, before turning to her parents. Her father still stood by the
window with his arms folded across his chest while her mom was sitting on the
couch.

�Come sit with me, Buffy,�
Joyce said. She bore a smile but Buffy knew this version of her �mother loves
you� look. Yeah, Joyce loved her but she was in for a lecture. The cushion next
to her was patted when Buffy dragged her feet.

Giving up any chance of
reliving those last few moments in the car and the chance of being able to get
herself off with those thoughts, Buffy sat next to her mother. Her father
continued to glare at her. She lifted her chin, folded her hands in lap
lap
like a good girl, she turned to her mother prepared to lie her ass off.

�What�s up, �rents?�

�Do not disrespect your
mother,� Hank warned, taking a step forward.

Oh, come on, Daddy, threaten me once physically and
it�s the last thing you�ll ever do to me�

�It�s all right, Hank,�
Joyce said, covering Buffy�s hands with one of her own. �She was just being a
teenager. We were all young once.�

Her father made a noise to
let his wife know to keep the conversation within the perimeters he had laid
down. Joyce did the lectures but Hank wrote them. How could someone as
beautiful and intelligent like her mother want to keep this oaf around? Buffy
bet that no one had ever made her mother feel like Spike made her feel.
Otherwise she would be sprinting out the door to find it.

�I�m sorry, father,� Buffy
grimaced. She turned back to her mother. She softened a little at the concern
she saw in her mother�s face. �Mom, what�s going on?�

�Well, your father told me
what happened last night,� Joyce started. �He was very upset, and so was I,
that you would disrespect him like that.�

�And hee ove over there
accusing without finding out the facts,� Buffy interrupted. �He just took
Riley�s word on it. The stupid jerk, Riley, not Dad. Riley cheated on me then
rubbed my nose in it in front of everyone.�

�That is still no excuse to
humiliate your father in front of your friends,� Joyce said sternly. �He
doesn�t deserve that.�

Buffy rolled her eyes. �I�m
sorry, Dad, that I was upset and humiliated and hurt myself and that I took it
on you.�

�Look here, young lady,�
Hank said, taking another step forward. �I will not tolerate your smart mouth
in my house.�

�I�ll be gone soon enough,�
Buffy said, jumping up. �Sooner if you say the word.�

�Going to go shack up with
the boy who makes you scream,� Hank said, in her face. He laughed at what to
have been the shocked expression on her face. �Yeah, it�s all over town what a
slut you are. Sleeping with that boy you just met last night.�

�Hank, we agreed to let me
handle this,� Joyce said, trying to get between them. �Buffy go up to your
room. I�ll be there in a minute.�

�I haven�t slept with him,�
Buffy shouted. �Not yet anyway, but at least he makes me feel good instead of
like a problem that he hates.�

�You little ungrateful
bitch,� Hank snarled. �After everything we�ve done for you�your mother doesn�t
deserve this��

�Yeah, not after what you
put her through,� Buffy screamed. �Sleeping with your own whore�and I�ve heard
you�re still doing it. Been doing a lot of patrolling on that side of town,
haven�t you?�

�Get out�,� Hank spit out.

When Buffy turned to run
upstairs, he stopped her with ad ond on her arm. �No, get out of my house. You�ve
finally got what you wanted. Don�t come back here.�

Buffy stared at him in
disbelief. Yeah, she had been pushing for this, but she never thought her
father would do it. He really wanted to disown her. The hate was evident on his
face, along with the relief. Without Buffy around, there wouldn�t be anyone to
question his motives or what he was doing. Buffy looked to her mother who
seemed to be in as much shock as she was.

�No Buffy, go upstairs,
now,� Joyce said. Hank took a step toward Buffy and Joyce jumped between them.
�Move now, Buffy.�

Buffy ran but only as far as
the top of the stairs. Dawn was already crouched there, and Buffy knelt beside
her little sister. It was the spot for listening to the disintegration of their
parent�s marriage. They held hands as they listened.

�Hank, I won�t allow you to
throw Buffy out of the house,� Joyce said adamantly.

�She�s nothing but trouble��

�For you,� Joyce said, a
little more softly. Buffy could picture her smoothing down her father�s shirt
the way she did when she was trying to calm him. �She�s felt she�s lost
you�first to Dawn then to�what happened. When she�s trying to push you away,
she really wants you to pull her closer. Tell her how much you love and care
about her. It�ll get you a lot further than this anger that doesn�t go away.�

�No, I am not going to
reward her rebellion,� Hank bellowed. �She�s rude to me, disrespects me in
front of the entire community. She completely undermines my reputation.�

lasslass=MsoNormal>�I think you�ve done enough
of that on your own.�

�Don�t tell me you believe
her lies. That I�ve started seeing Barb again.�

It didn�t sound like he was
denying it. Dawn made a little gasping sound and leaned closer to Buffy. Hank wasn�t
winning his family over tonight. That was for sure.

�I�ve heard the rumors,
too,� Joyce said. �Tell me they�re lies and I�ll believe you.�

�I shouldn�t have to tell
you anything,� Hank blustered. �You�re my wife��

�Your wife, not your
possession,� Joyce said. �I think you�re the one who needs to leave.�

�Excuse me?� Hank shouted.
�I will neaveeave my home. If you don�t want to believe me then you leave.�

�And how will your
reputation look tomorrow when the town finds out that you kicked your wife and
daughters out of the only home they�ve had,� Joyce said, shouting back. �Do you
want us to leave so you can move Barb in? Is it? Just tell me the truth, Hank.�

The next sound the girls
heard was the front door slamming and their mother weeping.

~~~~~~

&n�Those are all lies,� Angel
spoke up. �Harmony isn�t anything like her reputation. This one guy started it
in junior high and well, everyone has to be with her too or he�ll get a rep.�

�Shit, you�re kidding me,
right?� Lindsey asked, putting his head back on the seat.

�She probably likes you
because she thinks an older guy won�t have to play those games,� Spike said.
�You know, likkingking out with her in the back seat without even having to
take her out first.�

�Oh, and what about you and
Buffy,� Lindsey retorted. �You�ll be gone in a few days. What does that do for
Buf�s reputation? She still has to live in this town for awhile.�

Spike didn�t say anything.
He couldn�t because it was true. They had been all over each other. And every
one had seen. Maybe that was why her father was waiting for her. Damn small
towns and their grapevines. He didn�t even respond when Cordelia muttered something
about the city boys breaking the small town girl�s hearts and she�d be left to
clean up the mess.

~~~~~~~

This time Buffy and Dawn
didn�t run at the first footstep on the stairs. They waited until their mother
turned into the hallway then encompassed her in all consuming hugs. They needed
comforting as much as they assumed their mom did.

�It�s okay, girls,� Joyce
whispered, rocking them. �Come on.�

She led them into her room,
where they all crawled beneath the covers, bundling together. Buffy didn�t know
what to say. She felt guilty again. If she hadn�t been in such a rush to seduce
Spike, if she had been the kind of girlfriend she was supposed to be then Riley
wouldn�t have cheated on her, if she hadn�t�

�Stop it, Buffy,� Joyce
said. �It�s not your fault.�

�But, mom, I��

�Your father makes his own
decisions and he�s made some bad ones.�

�Is he coming back?� Dawn
asked. �He�s not going away for good to live with her, is he?�

�I don�t think so,� Joyce
said. �Sometimes you give people what they want and they find out they don�t
want it after all.�

Buffy didn�t say anything.
Her father wanted freedom, he wanted the fun he could have with Barb without
kids interfering, especially a daughter like Buffy. Why did she always have to
be so headstrong? It was funny because as much as she hated men at the moment,
she felt a desperate need to speak with Spike. Shaking her head, she tried to
pay attention to her mom who was still trying to reassure Dawn.

�It�s going to be so
embarrassing if he goes and lives with her,� Dawn whined. �It�s like there�s
something wrong with us.�

�Oh, hush,� Buffy snapped.
�Could you think about Mom a little here? It�s her husband who walked out.�

�Stop it,� Joyce said.
�We�re all in this together.�

But the look that Joyce
flashed Buffy told a different tale. Buffy was right but Dawn was the baby and
needed to be protected. So, she reached out and tugged on her sister�s hair.

�Sorry, kid,� Buffy in a
slightly kinder tone. �He�ll come home. He�s just all mad and everything.�

It was Dawn�s turn to snap.
�At you because you always have to cause trouble and get him pissed off.�

It seemed even her sister
knew what a fuck up she was. �I�m going to go and take a shower,� Buffy said,
patting her mother�s arm. �If you need me, call me, okay?�

�Thank you, Buffy,� Joyce
whispered, kissing her cheek. �And please don�t feel it�s your fault.�

Buffy only nodded. She knew
her mother didn�t blame her. And she knew that Dawn needed someone other than
her Daddy to blame. Then there was her father who in a lot of ways did bl
her
her. It only added more to her determination to get out of town as soon as
possible. Maybe without her around they could have better lives.

She grabbed her bag and
hurried into her room. Taking her cell phone into the bathroom, she turned the
water on before dialing Lindsey�s house. It only had to ring twice before it
was picked up.

�You okay, Luv?� Spike asked
without a hello.

�I�m fine,� Buffy whispered,
but promptly broke into tears. �I wish you were here.�

�Wish I was there, too. Did
you need me to come and get you?�

�No, no, that would only
make things worse. I�m fine. He walked out on us.�

�Oh, pet, I�m sorry,� Spike
said, his voice soothing her nerves with his deep gravel tone. �Is it for
good?�

�Couldn�t get that lucky,�
Buffy said, wrapping an arm around her middle. �No, he�ll be back to make us
miserable another day.�

�How�s your mum and lil� sis
holding up?�

�Better than me,� Buffy
mumbled. �I feel all guilty about this. If I had done this or done that��

�Or hadn�t been making out
with me in the back of the truck��

�I don�t regret anything
I�ve done with you,� Buffy stated. �Nothing. You make me feel things that no
one has ever made me feel before�like safe.�

It was quite the admission
for her. Never had she put herself on the line for anyone except her family
before. She had practically handed him her heart. When had things changed? She
almost threw the phone away hoping that he hadn�t heard. And why wasn�t he
saying anything?

�Sneak out,� Spike said. �I
need to see you�now.�

lasslass=MsoNormal>

She was tingling all over.
She needed to see him, too. �Give me an hour. There�s a shed in the back of our
property. Meet me there.�

�Fifty-nine minutes,� Spike
said, clicking off the phone.
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