I'm Sorry William

Thank you so much for the reviews, positive feedback and e-mails I have received in regards to this story. They make me want to type until my fingers are bloody stumps.

I’m sorry William_9


Buffy finished cleaning his face again, softly, tenderly, and lovingly. When she was finished she crawled up onto the bed and into hiss. Ss. She placed her head on his chest and listened to his faint heartbeat, the one she caused by giving him her blood. She let the soothing rhythm lull her into sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Willow sighed and opened the box containing the trio’s belongings. She remembered the things that they had found in their lair contained some things on Spike’s chip. Warren must have looked at it at one time.

Giles watched her carefully, waiting to see if there was anything of value in it’s contents.

“Oh my god! He had everything here. He looked at the chip. I can use this…I can totally use this to test his chip…” she looked up at Giles with excitement shining in her eyes. “We’ll be able to tell what it’s doing! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before.”

“Well at least you thought of it now…shall we wake them?”

“No. I think we should let them sleep. Buffy needs it. And I need to enter some stuff into my computer, so that I can run the tests…that might take a little while, better to let them sleep while I do that.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Agent Finn, this is unacceptable. We cannot send Dr. Angleman to Sunnydale to deal with hostile 17. We need to just let the chip deteriorate.”

“But Sir that would kill him.”

“Yes. It will. You know it wasn’t made to last Agent Finn. These creatures were only meant to be captured for a short time.”

“Believe me sir, If it were anyone else…if it were *for* anyone else I wouldn’t ask…but these are special circumstances.”

“I cannot condone this…I do not understand why this hostile is so important to you…Did you run into him when you went back there to hunt the Suvolte?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point. It’s for her…”

“The Slayer?”

Riley nodded. “Yes Sir. He is important to her.”

“Why would a vampire be important to the Slayer?”

“I cannot answer that Sir. All I can say is that he is important to her. I trust her judgment…more than I trust my own. *I* think we should replace the chip, but we should leave it up to her…”

“What if she decides to take it out? What if we do take it out and he…”

“Returns to his former self? He won’t. And if he does…She’ll take care of it. It’s what she was meant to do. She’s done it before…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy opened her eyes, listening to Spike breathe softly beside her. She got up quietly from the bed and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. “Hey…”

“How is he?”

“He’s…he’s still unconscious…that last one took a lot out of him…any news?”

“Willow found something in the trio’s things…something she can test the chip with…”

“That’s good right?” She looked up at him hopefully.

“I think it is…at least we’ll be able to tell if it’s still firing…you should go back to sleep…we’ll wake you when she’s ready…”

“Giles…what if we can’t…I mean what if…”

“We’re doing everything we can…if there’s a way I promise you we’ll find it.”

“But what if there isn’t? What if…I can’t lose him…” Tears streaked slowly down her face.

“Buffy…” Giles walked over and wrapped his arms around her.

“Giles what if it’s my fault? What if the chip going all wonky is my fault?”

“Shhhh” He soothed rubbing her back softly. “It can’t possibly be your fault…why would you say that?”

“Cause I…Giles I made him bite me…” She felt Giles stiffen with his arms still around her. “I’m sorry, I know you must be disappointed in me…falling for another Vampire…but”

“No. No I am not disappointed in you. A little shocked…granted but disappointed *never*. You can’t help who you fall in love with…and Spike…he deserves your love. He changed…he did that for you. Because he loves you…I didn’t want to admit it before Buffy, all I wanted to see was the demon, the potential for evil within him. Now I see all of the good he has done. Because you made me see it. You are strong, *you* my dear have strength no one can imagine. Now. Go and lay down with your Vampire, I’m sure he’s wondering where you are by now.”

“Thank you Giles…thank you.” She looked up at him gratefully.

“You’re welcome. Now go.” He gave her a little push in the direction of the door and smiled softly at her.

Buffy left the room feeling much better than she had before.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spike lay in her bed breathing shallowly. He felt her get up and leave, but didn’t have the strength to speak. He felt weak, numb and tired. He didn’t even have the strength to open his eyes.

‘Bloody hell. Just my luck, she admits that she loves me finally, we have a chance at happy and then my chip starts killin’ me slowly.’ He thought bitterly.

He felt her enter the room again and crawl into bed beside him. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, but he didn’t have the strength.

She curled up beside him, pressed firmly against him and pulled his arm over her. She lay her head against the crook of his neck and whispered softly into his ear. “Spike. I don’t know if you can hear me or not…but I have some things I want to say to you…”

She pressed a soft kiss against his temple. “I love you. I love you so much…I can’t lose you. So you better fight this. I swear to god if you leave me I’ll hunt you down where ever you end up and I’ll kick your ass…” He could hear the tears in her voice, he felt hem dripping slowly onto him as she spoke softly.

“I know you love me. I *know* it. So fight this…come back to me…I need you…I need you so much…”

“Buffy…” A tiny whr. Ar. All he could manage.

“Spike?” She almost chocked on the word she was so happy to hear him speak.

“Dying baby…I can feel it…chip’s killin’ me…”

“No. NO! You can fight this Spike…don’t you dare give up…just hold on ok? For me please…please Spike…Willownd snd some stuff…maybe it’ll help…” She sniffled trying to get her emotions under control.

“Kay…sleep baby…for me…” He knew she needed it. He knew she wouldn’t as long as he was talking. “Tired…so tired…”

“Ok…Let’s sleep…they’ll wake us when Willow is ready…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took Willow Two hours to get all of the information and programming into her laptop. “Giles? Giles it’s done…We should go and get them…”

“I’m on my way…” He took the stairs two at a time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Do you think he’s going to be Ok? I’m really worried…”

“I know Dawnster…I promise if there is a way to fix it…they’ll find it. Your sister doesn’t give up, and she’s got Giles and Willow helping, they’re the two smartest people I know…”

“Thanks Xand…” Buffy asked Xander to take Dawn to his and Anya’s place so she could concentrate full on Spike. Dawn had been trying to sleep on the couch, but she couldn’t so she knocked on their bedroom door to talk.

“Why don’t you try to sleep some more, we’ll wake you as soon as they call…”

“Ok. I’ll try…I’m just so worried about both of them…”

“I know.”

“Dawn, he loves your sister. He has for a long time…she finally admitted she loved him too…do you think he’s going to go anywhere? He’s a fighter, and now that he has something like Buffy’s love to fight for do you really think he’s just going to let that go? And he hasn’t had a chance to rub it in Xander’s face…so there’s that to look forward to…he’s not gonna die honey…” Anya wrapped her arms around Dawn and gave her a tight hug.

“Thanks Guys…I feel so much better…I’m gonna try to sleep now.” Dawn made her way back to the couch and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Giles knocked softly on the door. “Buffy? Spike? Willow is ready…”

No answer. He knocked again. Suddenly he heard a terrified scream and threw the door wide. Spike had dried blood caked under his nose, around his eyes and coming out of his ears. His mouth was open in a silent scream, his body rigid.

Buffy stopped screaming when the door was thrown open and she sat beside him rocking slowly, her lips were moving but Giles couldn’t make out the words she spoke so softly. “Too late. Oh god…oh god…how could I sleep through that? He’s in so much pain…how could I not have felt that…”

“Buffy? Buffy…snap out of it…” Giles grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her gently.

She looked up at him with wide terrified eyes. “Giles?”

“I’ll go and get Willow…She’s got the computer ready…”

Buffy nodded. She looked back at Spike and let her tears fall. She grasped his hand and tried to choke back the sobs that she couldn’t stop. Seeing him like this was tearing her apart. In slow motion she reached for the cloth and wiped at the dried blood, trying not to shake as she did.

“Buffy? Buff…you might not want to be here for this…”

“What? What are you going to do to him?”

“I’m going to hook up the computer and find out what I can…see if there’s a way to zap it or something…”

“Ok…” She nodded getting up from the bed. “I’ll be downstairs…”

Willow nodded distractedly as she started attaching electrodes to Spike’s scalp.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy couldn’t breathe, Giles was holding her, rocking her, trying to soothe her. Nothing he tried was working.

“Giles? Let me try…pl-please…” Tara said softly, sitting on Buffy’s other side.

She placed her hand on Buffy’s shoulder and the sobbing girl turned to her. “I-it-it’s been ten mi-minutes…what if…”

“Shh Will knows what she’s doing Buffy, I’m sure it wont be much longer…”

Buffy nodded and let Tara wrap her arms around her. Tara stroked her back softly, letting her calm slowly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Oh god. That’s not good…” Willow glanced at the screen. “I’ll try it again…” She watched the screen again as she typed. “Crap…”

Quickly typing in another command she tried to disable the chip. There was a flash of light and the screen went blank. ‘His chip fried my computer’ She panicked and ran from the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Buffy…Oh…god Buffy I’m so sorry honey there’s nothing I can do…” Willow said softly. “His chip is sending small shocks to his brain constantly…I tried to disable it and it fried my computer…I don’t think he has much longer…”

“I’ve got to…” Buffy ran up the stairs, tears blinding her. They followed behind.

Buffy entered the room and let out a wail. She threw herself at the bad and cupped his face in her hands. Leaning over him she looked into his tortured face. “Spike…”

“Buffy…I’ll try again…I have everything backed up…”

“It’s too late for that now…pass me that knife…” She said tilting her head towards her dresser.

“What are you…”

“Willow, I’m serious. Now is not the time for questions.” The Slayer in her had taken over momentarily. She knew what she had to do. She was in control. Her mate was dying before her eyes. Willow handed her the knife and watched silently.

Buffy made a small slit in her wrist and held it to his mouth. Spike still didn’t move. “Come on baby, just a little…you need to…”

She watched his face. The only reaction he made was that his wrinkles and fangs emerged, he didn’t latch on, he didn’t suck the coppery liquid flowing into his open mouth. He didn’t even close his mouth around the wound. With his mouth filling up, her blood tricked slowly from the corners.

“I don’t think it’s working…he’s not taking any of it…” Giles said softly.

“He will. He has to…” Buffy said softly, stroking his hair with her other hand.

“Buffy please…stop…he’s not…”

“I am *NOT* giving up on him Giles. I am not. I refuse to. He’d never give up if it was me…”

They were so engrossed in the Vampire in her room and the conversation they were having that none of them heard the doorbell ring.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

TBC… Please let me know if you like it. ;) Az