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Whose Shanshu?	By : QueenB Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Buffy > Angel(us)/Buffy Views: 3387 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Cordelia was beyond upset. The seer hadn’t missed Buffy’s sly exit nor Angel’s equally unobtrusive departure after her. Typical Buffy; no one was paying attention to her so she scampered off to sulk.
The seer had debated going after them to spoil their little meeting but she didn’t care to walk in on them kissing and knew Angel would smell her if she tried to eavesdrop. While she was turning over the idea of simply demanding Angel’s presence to talk to these irritating Slayer-wannabes, Spike had shown up.
Everyone upstairs had frozen in shock when the bleached blond had appeared in the Hyperion doors. There had been stunned silence then everyone had burst out talking at once. Xander was disgruntled that the damned vampire couldn’t stay dead and the other Slayers had withdrawn from him and then paused in puzzlement when there hadn’t been any accompanying distress from his presence. Dawn had approached him without her usual exuberance and poked him with a finger, subsequently announcing to everyone that he was solid enough and couldn’t be the First.
Spike looked considerably the worse for wear. His customary leather duster was gone and he was dressed in smelly, filthy clothes that had seen better days. He had severe abrasions and cuts all over his face and arms and his knuckles were torn and oozing blood. He’d been curiously unresponsive to all their questions until Dawn noticed something odd.
“Spike? Did you just come from the outside? And you’re all covered in wounds and they don’t look as if they’re healing. Do you need blood?”
At that his face twisted up in his customary smirk and he replied, “I won’t be needing blood again, Nibblet, ‘less it’s for a transfusion.” He extended his arm to her. “Feel. Tell me if anything’s different.”
She pressed her fingers gingerly along his skin and her eyes widened in shock. “You’re…warm. Oh my god! He’s warm!” she told the others.
“He’s what?” Giles came forward, his eyes running over the vampire. He reached out and grasped the forearm in wary, clinical curiosity, ignoring Spike’s attempts to twist away. “Good Lord. He’s got a pulse.”
“He’s human?” Fred asked.
“Shanshu,” Wesley muttered.
That’s when Cordelia lost it. “Oh no, it can’t be. Not for him. Wesley, there has got to be a mistake!”
“Shan-what? What the hell’s the prom bint going on about?” Spike demanded. He was annoyed. He’d come here hoping Angel’s agency would have answers for him and in the sneaking hope that the Slayer would be here. After all, where else would she be likely to head after her old town went into the dust but back to her old honey? But the woman was nowhere to be seen.
Then she showed up holding hands with the damned poof. Both of them looked less than thrilled to see him. And now the tarted-up Cordelia was blithering on about some Shanshu whatsis.
Cordelia’s pose of studied calm had vanished completely. “Wesley, this isn’t right! You know it. I know it! There’s no way this gift would be given to that, that, JERK!”
“This jerk saved the world, you addlepated bint, so show some respect!” Spike snapped. He was feeling more than a little brassed off what with all the distrust and the Slayer’s attitude. The poof had sniffed in his direction and confirmed to everyone that he was indeed human. Buffy had frowned worriedly into Angel’s face but hadn’t approached Spike at all. It wasn’t the warm greeting he’d hoped for from her.
“What are you talking about, Cordelia? What do you mean by Shanshu?” Giles was no less bewildered than anyone else by this extraordinary turn of events. He could have seen China with his glasses by now with all the furious cleaning he was giving them.
“Ah, well, that’s a long story.” Wesley paused and made an internal struggle. “Never mind. I’ll give you the abridged version. About three years ago, Angel came into the possession of the scrolls of Aberjian…”
Giles interrupted, “The Aberjian scrolls? They’re supposed to be a myth!”
“They most emphatically are not. I managed to translate them,” Wesley corrected. “They read that in the end of days, the vampire with a soul after several apocalypses, the coming darkness, a few plagues and fiends unleashed on the world, would become human. It would be his reward for the works he performed in the service of good. We had always assumed that vampire would be Angel.”
Buffy was astounded and infuriated in almost equal measure. She rounded on the vampire once again standing on the outskirts of the small company. “Angel, you were going to be human? You knew this for three years and you never told me?”
“The prophecies were vague and unclear, Buffy. They never mentioned a timetable. For all I knew, I might not achieve humanity until long after you were dead.” He bent his eyes to hers and added in low tones, “I didn’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“I-I get that,” she whispered back. Angel had thought he might be human. It would have been all her dearest wishes come true. Only now it looked like the prize had been granted to another. Why wasn’t he more upset about it?
Her thoughts were interrupted by Cordelia’s continued rant. “Okay, Wesley, I am now officially pissed off! Angel has been fighting for the Powers That Be for the last four years. He has risked life and limb more times than I can count. He’s the one who faced the darkness, he’s the one who’s been fighting monsters every night…”
Spike interrupted, “Hey, I’ve been fighting monsters, too, you know!”
“Oh please. Just a few years ago, you were one of the monsters,” Cordelia scoffed. “I can still remember the time you stuck Angel full of hot pokers, you asshole!”
“You stuck Angel with hot pokers?” Buffy asked, her eyes narrowing.
Spike was quick to defend himself. “That was back when I was still evil. You know, pre-soul. The big poof had the Gem of Amara, which was rightfully mine since I got it first, and I wanted to get it back. Besides, that’s nothing compared to the nastiness we used to get up to back in the day, right, Angelus?” His lips curled up in a sneer. Angel’s eyes narrowed but he made no answer to Spike’s accusation.
“Guess poking your ex-boyfriend with implements of torture wouldn’t be the sort of thing Spike would mention if he wanted to convince you he was all goody goody, is it, Buffy? God, you really know how to pick your friends, don’t you?” Cordelia said with a toss of her head.
“He is a friend, Cordelia. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be here. None of us would.” Buffy wasn’t really interested in defending Spike; she just didn’t want to take any flack from Cordelia.
Damn it, why the hell did Spike have to come back? Apparently, his knack for messing things up hadn’t changed with his transition to humanity and she wished that he were still dead. The next moment, she kicked herself mentally for such an uncharitable thought and tried to stifle her exasperation.
“So I’ve been rewarded with humanity, eh? Guess saving the world trumps beating up mere demons any day of the week.” Spike smirked and leaned back on the couch. The arrogant attitude was spoiled by his wince as several wounds in his back protested the contact with the hard material. “Oi, could I get a little medical attention here? Some food would be nice, too, if you’ve got it.”
“Um, medical attention? Right. Would anyone…” Giles’s voice trailed off and several of the people nearby grimaced and backed away. Nobody really wanted to touch the former vampire and their distaste was plain.
Gunn said, “Don’t look at me. I kill vamps. I don’t heal ‘em except when they’re Angel.”
“I’m not a vamp anymore. What are you, stupid?” Spike shot back.
“You’re the one who came here instead of checking into a hospital, jackass,” Cordelia replied. “Which makes you stupid and ugly. You can forget about me helping you, Mr. Tortures-My-Boss-with-Pokers.”
Spike looked towards Buffy who was still contemplating Angel with a sad expression. “How about it, Slayer? It’s the least you could do.”
Buffy’s answering gaze was confused, withdrawn and strangely angry. He couldn’t sense her emotions the way he once had but he knew she really didn’t want to get close to him. Angel must have sensed it, too. “I’ll do it, Spike.”
“The hell you will, poof!” Spike surged up from the couch only to be met with Angel’s large hand on his chest.
“Sit down,” Angel said and accompanied the command with a solid push. Spike was merely human now and the shove sent him sprawling back onto the couch in an undignified heap. He squawked and then covered it up with a scowl.
“Buffy, I’m not letting this wanker touch me! Why won’t you do it?” he begged in a voice that sounded treacherously close to a whine.
She visibly struggled with a sense of gratitude and the old feeling of annoyance. Angel solved the dilemma. “Buffy, I’ve got plenty of experience bandaging wounds. Why don’t you go to the kitchen and warm up some food?”
She jumped up with alacrity, glad to have the chance to retreat and regroup. “Will do.”
Spike couldn’t believe it as he saw her race out of the room. The Slayer acted as if she couldn’t wait to get away from him and Angel was responsible for it. The vampire got out a bunch of medical supplies and gestured for Spike to follow him. “Come on, Spike. Let’s get you upstairs and bandaged up.”
“Look, I’m not exactly in the best shape to move. Why can’t I stay here?”
“Hey, you came all the way from Sunnydale. A few more steps won’t kill you,” Cordelia pointed out. “Besides, if Angel has to bandage you up, we really don’t want to see any more of your scrawny body.”
“Too bad, ducks. You could probably use the thrill,” Spike smirked.
“What thrill? You’ve got sunken cheeks, a bony ass and skinny legs.” She listed his defects on her fingers as the other girls began to snicker. “I’ve seen plucked chickens that looked more attractive than you. Not to mention the fact that you smell. What, couldn’t find a shower between here and Sunnydale?”
Spike opened his mouth to make another crack and Angel clamped down on his shoulder hard, changing his retort to a yelp of pain. “Ow! Watch it, you clumsy berk! That hurt!”
“God, Spike, you’re such a whiner. You sound just the way you did whenever Drusilla and I got together,” Angel tsked tsked.
“Angel, let me take care of him,” Dawn offered. Little as she liked Spike after his attempted rape of her sister the year previously, she had come to a grudging acceptance of him during his recent stay at her home. She sensed that Angel and Spike might come to blows if they were left alone together and figured she might as well play peacemaker. Besides, she had a feeling Buffy and Angel needed to talk.
Angel eyed her reluctantly and an understanding seemed to pass between the two of them. He handed her the gauze and bandages and she whispered, “Go talk to Buffy.”
Spike couldn’t make out what was said and he cursed his loss of vampiric hearing. However, he could guess Dawn’s meaning when the dark-haired poof walked off after Buffy. He wanted to go after them and hear what they had to say but one look at Dawn’s tight-lipped face and he decided against it. Reluctantly he allowed himself to be dragged upstairs.
__________
Buffy opened the cabinets. She really didn’t know what Spike would want in way of solid food. He had munched on buffalo wings and other assorted sundries when at her house but she hadn’t noticed any particular favorites. Deciding that it didn’t really matter, she pulled down a can of tomato soup. She had it dumped into a pot and slowly coming to a boil on the stove when she picked up Angel’s presence once more.
“Will you look at us? Down here in a gloomy underground passage twice in less than an hour. Not quite the same as our sewer talks but really close.” She was attempting for humor but knew the effort was falling flat.
“Buffy, I really couldn’t tell you about the Shanshu. I heard the prophecy over three years ago and most of the time, I never even thought about it. It’s not the reason why I fight. I gave up the idea of getting a reward a long time ago. I’m pretty sure that when Spike was being incinerated, he wasn’t expecting this prize, either.”
“Probably not. Don’t think any of us saw this coming.” She paused as she searched his impassive face. “You must be so disappointed.”
“Oddly enough, no,” he replied. He sensed her surprise and elaborated. “It’s not that humanity wouldn’t be a wonderful gift. It would. But the only reason I even considered how great it would be was if I could share it with you. But this is even better.”
“Better? How is this better? Spike has his soul for less than a year. Then bang! One apocalypse and near-death experience later, he gets humanity! Actually, it’s a death experience ‘cause I’m pretty sure he died. I mean no one could have survived a whole town dropping on their head. Then again he did get up from having a piano fall on him…” she rambled.
Angel’s sensitive nose detected that the soup was on the verge of burning from Buffy’s lack of attention. He turned off the stove. “I’m talking about you, Buffy. You told me Spike is in your heart. If you feel anything for him, then this is your chance for that normal life.”
“Are you joking, Angel? What ‘Return of the Peroxide Prodigal’ scene were you watching? I barely spoke to Spike. I’m pissed as hell that he’s come back now that everything between us was finally getting sorted out.” She snatched up the pot and dumped the soup into a bowl, ignoring the careless splashes that landed on the clean surfaces.
“You and I barely spoke to each other when we met up again,” he reminded her.
“I-I know. I was going for ‘Cool Buffy who doesn’t care that she’s in the room with the love of her life’ and you were being ‘Aloof mysterious Angel trying to do the noble thing.’ You know, the usual crap.”
“But he’s human now and I’m still--”
“You’re still Angel. Did you hear me just now? The love of my life? If humanity were all I cared about, I’d still be with Riley. Do you honestly think I cherished hopes and dreams of a future with Spike? I only ever had those about you.” Her voice became soft and she unthinkingly moved nearer. “As far as I’m concerned nothing has changed. You’ll be here, I’ll be in Cleveland. We’ll commute, we’ll write, we’ll trade e-mails and I’ll come down here to Los Angeles…”
“Or I’ll go east to Cleveland,” he amended.
“Sure. What’s 2000 miles between friends?” she whispered. He pulled her closer until her body was flush against his. He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. Her mouth fell open and the kiss turned fervent. He licked at her delicate, plump lower lip and sucked it into his mouth. He cupped her heart-shaped ass and staggered with her weight as they stumbled and crashed into the refrigerator door.
Buffy wound her firm legs around his ass, never breaking the kiss for a moment. Then he careened back and pressed her against the chilly surface on the table. Briefly he recalled the last time they’d made love on a table; he hoped the metal material would enable this one to weather the experience intact.
God, he was here and he wanted her. It wouldn’t be like her first time: all serious and tentative because of his fear of hurting her. She wanted tenderness, yes, but most importantly she wanted him, his cock hard and cold thrusting inside her. She fell back on the table, panting in eagerness, her breath loud in the echoing space. Then, as he placed his hands on her thighs preparing to push up her skirt, she recalled the danger. “Angel, we can’t.”
He lifted his head from her neck where he’d been planting feverish kisses. “We can, Buffy. It’s okay.”
“Your soul…”
“--is bound. Willow fixed it the last time she was here.”
“She did?” Why hadn’t Willow said anything? Oh right. Apocalypse in Sunnydale. News at 11. They’d had more important things to handle and Willow might have felt that she didn’t need the distraction. Nevertheless, she was going to have a serious talk with that crazy redhead when she got the chance.
Buffy panted and moaned as Angel’s hands caressed her inner thighs. His fingers came closer to her center and drew back without actually touching it. He was obviously bent on keeping her hanging and she groaned with impatience. He peeled aside the silken panties he’d provided for her (and wrapped in a separate package marked for her alone when he’d sent the Care package for all the Slayers) and blew in tantalizing puffs all along the labia until she was trembling in want.
“Aaaaanggelll.” She was wriggling on the cold surface and trying to nudge her hips closer to her fingers. She ran her hands under his shirt and across the broad chest. It didn’t matter that there wasn’t a racing heart under her fingers nor the sheen of gathering sweat on his brow. The nipples jumped and stiffened when she pinched them and a soft, answering growl let her know exactly how aroused he was. That and the bulge she could feel when she ran her shoe across his pants front.
Her arousal shot up and he could scent it, thick, heavy and musky. It mingled with the tomato smell and gave it an intriguing overlay. He rubbed her lightly through her panties until she mewled, her hips bucking up hard against his hand.
Buffy couldn’t wait. It had been five long years and there were others upstairs who might intrude at any moment. Perhaps in the future there would be time f lon long, drawn-out lovemaking but they were too desperate for each other to wait now.
She tugged hurriedly at his shirt. In her haste a few buttons popped off and clattered to the floor. Angel growled at the show of eagerness and ripped off her panties in one fierce tug. She heard the tear of the material and felt the slight burn as it whipped across her thighs. She grinned and then fumbled at his pants belt.
The cold zipper parted in a purr of unfastening teeth and the slightly warmed air of the kitchen caressed his cock. He couldn’t remember ever having been this hard before; his cock sprang loose already quivering with a thin line of precum oozing down its length. “Buffy, I can’t wait,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.
She was shaking, so eager was she to have him inside her. “Me neither. Hurry, before they send a search party after us.” She positioned herself more securely on the table and opened her legs wide.
She hadn’t taken time to remove her dress but that didn’t matter. He could scent her skin and hear the pounding of her heart. Plump lips mashed against his, their tongues caressing each other. He palmed her breasts, rubbing the sensitive nipples through the fabric. She mewled wordlessly; his touch was great, the large fingers tweaking and pulling just the way she liked.
So caught up was she in the spasms of pleasure from this simple action, she barely registered the shift in his weight. She broke their kiss with a gasp as he entered her.
So big! Shit, I’d forgotten.
He sensed her slight pain even before she moaned and he stopped in dismay. Cursing himself, he began to withdraw when she clamped her thighs around him. “No. Don’t stop.”
“Buffy, you’re not ready. We should take more time…”
“Time later. We’re kinda pressed for it now. Please, Angel. I’ve waited so long. Make love to me,” she whispered.
He gritted his teeth and nudged forward cautiously. Buffy bit her lip, shoving the pain aside. She flexed her muscles and concentrated on opening herself as wide as she could. The pain was even now easing and she sighed as the cold length pressed farther inside.
Angel was trying to hold back; he truly was. But when her arousal flew higher and powerful Slayer muscles gripped him, he thought restraint might be impossible. A subtle change in her position and she gasped again, her eyes widening. “Ooh, Angel. That felt… more!”
He withdrew and she moaned as the action caused his cock to glide against her clit. The return thrust was harder, sinking deeper within her. “God, Buffy. You’re so tight,” he gritted out. “I’d nearly…forgotten. Everything…I wanted. I love you, Buffy!”
“Love you, Angel. Faster!” Her body was shuddering as her back bent and arched against the table. He grabbed her ass and began thrusting in earnest. They were riding on a tidal wave of desire, her legs wound around his butt as it flexed with the rhythm of his movements.
Her nails were digging into his back and the faint blood smell from her fingers was driving away his self-control. He growled, the noise subterranean and bestial, echoing around the space, and Buffy’s eyes lit on the ridged brows and amber eyes as human features gave way to the demon beneath.
The thrusts were coming harder and faster and she bucked up and down, caught between the firm body above and the unyielding surface below. She was being stuffed full, her lover brought home to her, as he crushed his form against hers again and again.
“So good. I wanted this, wanted you,” she gasped. “More, harder. Oh god, Angel!” His back was flexing, the muscles straining under her hands and she dug in her nails to urge him to a faster pace. The pain prodded him just as she’d hoped and his balls drummed in a rhythmic beat against her ass, the sound mingling with the grunts, growls and high-pitched squeals as the lovers sped towards the inevitable finish.
He yearned to kiss her but keeping their lips pressed together proved too difficult. He’d longed for her for years and to have her here was more than he could stand. Given his choice he would have made love to her for hours, holding back his orgasm so he could focus on her pleasure. But there was the promise of the future and the constraint of the present. He abandoned himself to the moment and shoved his hand between them to pinch the cushy button.
Her back bent again, nearly lifting him from the floor. The climax was violent, whipping through her frame and causing her to cry out sharply before his hand clapped over her mouth. His hips continued moving against her and she shuddered again as lesser contractions followed.
He called her name as his orgasm caught up with him at last. Angel shot hard within her hot little hole; she could feel his cum splashing inside her, farther than she would have through possible. She sighed with happiness and then kissed him frantically over every inch of his cool face.
She pulled back and he was startled to see tears on her face. “Buffy. What is it? Did I hurt you?”
“No, no. It’s just--it was a little too much. It’s been so long since… Was it like this before? I thought I remembered everything about that night. But five years is a long time between lovemaking. It was just a little overwhelmy, you know?”
A smile lit up his face. “I know. I never forgot how it was with you, Buffy. I never thought I’d be with you again like this and all I had were memories. But I gotta admit, this was better.”
“Way better.” She sat up with a sigh and he moved back from her. Her hair and clothes were a mess and she knew it; she’d better make some attempt to fix herself before she went upstairs.
He sensed her hesitation and guessed the cause. “Buffy, I can take Spike his soup if you prefer. You don’t have to talk to him.”
“No, I have to see him again, Angel. I owe him an explanation…and a goodbye. We were never…I mean, he was never what you are. We never got to couplehood no matter how often I was with him. He was more of a dirty little secret and a big mistake. But he helped when he didn’t have to. I feel like I owe him.”
“He probably thinks so, too. Did you hear what he said up there?” Angel pointed out. He wasn’t happy at the idea of Buffy having one last chat with Spike. But he knew better than to try to talk her out of it.
Her reply was firm in its dismissal. “I know. But he’s already got humanity. That’s a really big prize. He doesn’t get to have me as well. No matter what he thinks.”
“Just so long as he knows that,” Angel growled under his breath.
She gave him a lingering kiss and picked up the congealing bowl of soup. She grimaced at the thick skin that lay on top. “Great. This soup’s stone cold. You got a microwave around here? We could warm this up in a jiffy.”
“We could set it back on the stove. It should be hot again in another five minutes.” He gave her a meaningful leer that she returned as she dumped the contents of the bowl back into the pot.
“You’re on, buddy. But if this soup burns, it’ll be your fault.”
__________
“Ouch! Be careful, Bit! That stuff really stings.” Spike winced again as Dawn dabbed hydrogen peroxide on some of his larger cuts.
She sniffed even though she lightened her touch a fraction. “Angel was right. You are a whiner. Besides, why should this stuff hurt so much? Can’t be that much different than the crap you put in your hair,” she remarked as she perused the bottle.
“Different kind of peroxide, pet. Where the hell’s that damned sister of yours? How long does it take to slap something into a microwave anyway?”
“She and Angel probably have a few things to sort out,” Dawn replied. She smiled knowingly. “I think they’re getting back together again.”
Spike was furious at the comment even as his broken heart cried out at the loss. “Bloody hell. I get burned up and buried in the mother of all apocalypses and she goes running to the soddin’ poof like it meant nothing to her! I should have known he’d sink his claws into her again after I saw them kissing in that temple!”
Dawn frowned. “You saw them kissing? Buffy didn’t mention kissing Angel.” A piece of gauze for a laceration on his back hung unnoticed from her fingers as she listened to his rant.
“Oh, she didn’t, did she? Guess she didn’t want to spill about getting in a liplock with her old honey when there were serious problems on the horizon, say, the end of the world as we know it? Pretty sneaky of her, if you ask me.”
“Nobody did,” she said in a bored voice. “Besides, you didn’t mention seeing Angel when you got back either.”
“Well, weren’t any of my business, really. I figured the fact that she sliced up that preacher like an onion after he punched out the giant poof was more to the point. You should have seen that big wanker go flying across the room. Champion, my ass,” he concluded, snorting.
The younger Summers girl continued dabbing Spike’s cuts while she spoke in a musing tone. “You saw Angel get knocked unconscious. And then Buffy was fighting Caleb?” Dawn was piecing together something in her mind and she didn’t like where her thoughts were headed.
“That’s right. You would have been proud of her, Dawn. She sliced him up good and proper. Guess she didn’t need the Brow’s help after all.” He smirked at the thought of Angel lying like a heap of potatoes while a big fight was raging nearby. Maybe he could point that out to the Slayer when he saw her again.
“And where were you all that time?”
He missed the too-casual note in her voice and continued on with his gleeful recitation. “Me? I was watching in a corner. Peaches and the Slayer never twigged to me seeing as they were too busy getting cozy when they should have been fighting.” He yelped as Dawn pressed hard against the wound in his back.
“You were watching my sister fighting for her life and you didn’t help? You shit!” she hissed. She clutched the bottle in a fury as Spike belatedly realized his mistake.
“No, Bit, you got it all wrong. See, I heard your sister say fighting that religious maniac was something she had to do by herself. So I couldn’t interfere. It was a noble, quest-type thing, you know. The sort of thing a hero’s got to do alone, no outside parties allowed.”
“But you saw Angel get knocked out! This guy was serious bad news and you were just standing there watching because you were pissed at Buffy being with Angel again!”
“That’s not true, Nib--”
“Don’t call me that again, Spike. Ever.” Dawn’s voice had gone flat and cold and she backed away from Spike as if he’d turned into a disgusting piece of slime.
“How do you know I didn’t help? I never said I didn’t lend an assist,” he backpedaled. Dawn was brassed off at him and he tried to salvage the situation as best he could.
“You just said--”
“Look, I didn’t want to make your sister look weak or nothing. I’ve been helping her all this year; why would I bail on her now?”
Dawn hesitated and he knew he was winning her over. Then a cool voice came from behind his back. “Because Dawn was right. You were too damned jealous of Angel to help.”
He swung around to see Buffy standing in the doorway. Damn. Without vampire senses, he hadn’t even known she was there. She stepped inside and closed the door. “I fought Caleb twice that night and you were watching both times even after he did his Lazarus deal and I might have been killed. You’re a real sport, Spike. Dawn, are you about finished with him?”
“Oh yeah. I am so finished.” Dawn flung down the gauze and threw the bottle of peroxide at him. The liquid splashed onto some of his open cuts and he yelled in pain as she stomped past him. She slammed the door and the Slayer and former vampire were left staring at each other.
“Buffy, you have to understand. I would have jumped in if I’d thought…”
“Save it, Spike. Not really interested. No use holding a grudge over past apocalypses.” She flipped her hand and set the bowl on the nightstand. “Tomato soup served fresh right from the can. Eat it while it’s lukewarm.”
He swirled a spoon in the liquid as he played for time. Buffy’s gaze wasn’t angry, as he might have expected. It was more cool and calculating. She looked more like someone trying to solve a math problem than a woman confronting an ex-lover. He knew what she was going to say next and he intended to change things if he could.
“Right. I guess none of that’s important any more. The important thing is that the world’s saved and I got my reward for it.” He paused to let that statement take effect. He’d helped to save the world. A little gratitude from her was the least that he deserved.
Her face didn’t show the slightest flicker of emotion. Instead she heaved a sigh and looked at her nails as if she were bored with the subject already. “Yeah. You’re human now. Give any thought between Sunnydale Crater and here about what you’re going to do next?”
“Well, uh, guess I got to get an identity. I thought Peaches might help set that up for me. He was always one to live in style and looks like he’s done well for himself with this place. He’s probably got lots of dosh stashed away someplace. He can afford to set me up with proper I.D.--driver’s licenses, birth certificate, credit cards, that sort of thing.”
She nodded absently and flicked a piece of imaginary dirt from an index fingernail. “Sounds like a plan. Good luck with that.” She stood up to leave and he called after her in alarm.
“Hang on a tick! What about… You staying here to help Peaches fight the good fight and all? I may be human but I can still kick ass with the best of them and I’m betting evil didn’t take holiday just because one town got leveled. We’re still gonna need to keep fighting together, Slayer.”
“You and I aren’t going to be fighting together, Spike. I’ve already made my plans and, frankly, they didn’t include you seeing as we all thought you bit the big one along with the town. Angel’s decided to keep fighting here. I’m going to be leaving with Giles, Xander, Willow and Dawn. We have a life to make and we need to do it far from here.”
That was the first good news he’d heard since he got here. “So you and Peaches aren’t together, then?”
“We’re very much together, Spike. Angel and I have made--arrangements to keep in touch once I go.” Her voice softened and got dreamy as she recalled what had just taken place in the kitchen. A lust-filled smile flitted around her face and Spike’s expression darkened when he saw it.
“You think it’s that easy, Slayer? A little slap and tickle and all’s daisies and daffodils again? I know the bloody poof. I swung with him for almost 100 years. He’ll get all guilty over his awful past and dump you again faster than you can say ‘soul issues.’ He’s not the one for you and you know it.”
He edged closer to her and his voice became gentle and insinuating. “He hasn’t been there for you for the last four years. He can’t be trusted to stick by you like I can.”
Buffy wasn’t impressed. She had anticipated any argument Spike could make and steeled herself against them. “Don’t flatter yourself, Spike. If all I wanted from somebody was blind loyalty, I’d get a dog. Angel is in love with me and I’m in love with him. I don’t think I ever really stopped, no matter what mistakes I made.”
Spike bristled at her dismissal of their liaisons as mistakes. “There was more than that going on between us, Slayer, and you know it. Don’t think you can just brush it off now like it was a mere one-night stand.”
“Oh please, Spike! That time I spent rolling around with you in dirty alleyways and other disgusting places was the worst year of my life. If all that meant love, then you’d still be with Drusilla. Or Harmony,” she pointed out sweetly and saw his embarrassment at her mention of his dimwitted, vapid ex.
“But you said you loved me! You can’t deny that!” he shot back in a desperate attempt to hold her.
“And you said I didn’t. I thought about that and you were right. You were dying, Spike, and I wanted to throw you a bone. The awfulness of the moment, the fact that you were taking one for the team…hell, if it had been Giles, Xander, Dawn or Willow, I would have said it to them, too.”
She got a studied expression as she sorted out what was going through her mind at that fateful moment. “It was more a kind of goodbye than a great passion suddenly busting loose. Honestly, it was only a little over a year ago that you tried to rape me and you thought I’d swing around and feel a mad love for you?” She shook her head as if the very idea was ridiculous.
God, it was awful how rational and indifferent she was. Even the mention of his aborted assault on her didn’t have any passion in it. She was more placid and at ease in his presence than she’d ever been and he longed to shake her until her teeth rattled to get some kind of reaction from her. Anger, scorn, contempt--any heated emotion, even a negative one, would be preferred over this bland indifference. “You wouldn’t be saying this if Peaches weren’t around,” he ground out.
“Weren’t you listening or is your humanity giving you problems with your hearing? Even if Angel were out of the picture it wouldn’t change how I feel about him. I’m in love with him. I’m not in love with you.” She stated the words with exaggerated care as if to a slow-witted child.
“Then what happens to me then? What am I supposed to do now?”
Damn it, he was starting to whine again and Buffy was getting fed up with it. “You talked about fighting. Stay here with Angel and fight.”
“Stay here with the bloody poofster? Not sodding likely,” he snorted in contempt.
“Then why did you come here?” she countered. “You said you were coming to Angel for help. What were you going to do? Bum a few dollars off him and then split? Real class, Spike.”
“I thought this would be the first place you’d leg it to. I came here to see you, luv, not go over old times with the damned Brow. He’s a crushing bore and always has been even before he got his soul. I’m not interested--”
“--in fighting evil unless I’m involved,” she finished. “I see that now, Spike. Even back in Sunnydale, you wouldn’t help unless you thought you could win me back and that’s what all your efforts meant, right?”
“I’d hardly call getting myself toasted and buried under tons of rubble a good plan for a romance, Slayer.”
“Nobody could ever accuse you of making good plans. Like you said, you’re not one of the world’s great thinkers. Pretty much any plan you ever made blew up in your face. In a way, it’s too bad you didn’t stay dead. You would have at least gone out as a hero. I could have mourned you instead of having a pointless discussion with you about me and Angel.”
Buffy and Angel. She said that as if it was a given like fish and chips. His jaw clenched. “What if I stay here and help out the great poof? What then?”
“That’s entirely up to you. But don’t do it ‘cause you think it’ll win brownie points with me.” She stared at his crestfallen face. She didn’t really want to hurt Spike. After all, he had sacrificed so much for her sake. But she wasn’t going to cherish a false feeling of beholdenness to him either.
“I’m glad you’re human, Spike. Really I am. But you told me once you weren’t holding on to dreams of building us a little crypt for two.” She paused and shuddered when she thought about the implications of that statement. “And now that I think about it, that is major icksome. But you’ve got a whole new life ahead of you.”
“Which doesn’t include you, apparently,” he muttered.
“No, it doesn’t. Enjoy your humanity, Spike.” She made to leave and he darted in front of her, desperate for any last bit of contact.
Seeing the sudden wariness on her face, he held up his hands and spoke in a cajoling voice. “Look, you can at least tell me where you’re going. Nothing wrong about keeping in touch, is there?”
“As long as it’s not literal.” She sighed and scrunched up her nose as she thought. “I don’t know exactly where I’ll be settling. I’ll let Angel know. If you stay here with him, you’re bound to find out.” She shoved him away from the door.
He wavered for a moment and then darted after her. Even now, knowing that all hope was lost, he couldn’t stay away from Buffy. He halted when he saw her talking outside his room with Dawn. The younger woman flung him a look of poisonous rage and he stopped as they made their way downstairs.
Maybe it was better to keep his distance for a bit. Besides, he didn’t believe Buffy for one moment when she said she didn’t know where she was headed. It shouldn’t be too hard to wheedle an address out of one of the others…
__________
Buffy decided to put him out of her mind. As far as she was concerned, the Spike issue was more than settled. She turned her attention to a certain brunette Slayer instead. “So, Faith. Any idea where you’ll be going?”
“I can’t stay here, B. Much as I’d like helping the Big A kick ass and take no names, I’m still wanted by the L.A.P.D. They’re bound to spot me sooner or later. I can’t drag that mess onto Angel’s doorstep.”
“Then where’ll you go?” Dawn asked. She’d noticed Spike hovering in the background. But he hadn’t come near since he saw her with Buffy and she was determined to keep things that way. Pointedly ignoring him, she concentrated on Faith’s answer.
“Well, me and Robin are gonna make tracks to New York.”
The former principal of Sunnydale High draped his arm around Faith as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “That’s right. I’ve got friends and family there. They’d be more than happy to take Faith in, seeing as she’s a Slayer like my mother was.” Robin’s voice softened at the remembrance of his mother and Faith squeezed his arm in sympathy.
Dawn was surprised at the unspoken declaration. “They knew your mom was a Slayer?”
“That’s right. She was a kind of unofficial protector for our whole community. She didn’t see any point in hiding what she was or keeping people ignorant of what she did. And when we had to go into hiding to escape certain demons, she needed to let people know what she was hiding us from. She didn’t want them facing what was out there blind.”
“Sounds like good thinkin’ to me,” Gunn threw in. “I wouldn’t have minded having your mom on my team back in the day.”
Robin’s glance was appraising. What he saw of Gunn evidently met with his approval. “She wouldn’t have minded having you around either, Gunn. You look like the kind who can hold your own in a demon fight.”
Faith chimed in, “You got that right, Robin. Gunn can kick ass with best of ‘em. Ain’t that right?”
Robin and Gunn looked at each other and then drew apart to a little corner. The women watched in amusement as the two began talking and pulling up their clothes, showing various scars from previous battles.
“Damn, I’m probably never going to see him again until we pull out of here. Guys really like to talk about their fighting, don’t they, B?” Faith mused.
Buffy replied while winking at Dawn. “Oh, I don’t know, Faith. I recall a certain Slayer talking about how she got naked with a preacher after one of her demon scuffles.”
“You had sex with a preacher?” Dawn squealed, causing several heads near them to swivel.
“No! It wasn’t like that. Buffy’s telling the story all wrong,” Faith protested and then proceeded to outline to Dawn exactly what had happened.
Buffy tuned her out. She’d heard this story before and wasn’t interested in a repeat. She looked up as Kennedy came racing from the garden. The brunette brushed what looked suspiciously like tears from her eyes as she pelted upstairs to her room. Moments later, Willow came out and stared unhappily after her departing girlfriend.
Buffy drew her friend aside. “What is it, Will? Kennedy looked major upset.” She didn’t want to interfere in a lover’s quarrel but she wanted to be here for her friend.
“Uh, Kennedy and I had a talk. It was long overdue, really. I’d been thinking and I decided that we should go our separate ways. She was kinda the rebound girl for me like Riley was the rebound guy for you. Only we were so caught up with the magic thing, the wannabe Slayers arriving by the boatload daily, the horrendous doom on the horizon and the First Whatsis playing with us that I sorta lost my head. I was just telling her that it wasn’t going to work out.” Willow hung her head and sighed.
“Oh. So…it’s over between the two of you then?”
“Yep. All that’s left now is the crying and the packing. I’m gonna miss her. She was kinda fun sometimes. In an annoying bratty kind of way.”
“But she was a really solidy and down-to-earthy type. I-I thought for sure you two were going to be a real couple.” Buffy ventured. She hadn’t really liked Kennedy. She was just making the soothing noises that she knew was required of her as a girlfriend. Willow needed her support right now and that’s what mattered.
“Naw. That was never really in the cards. It was too soon after Tara and I should have waited.” She sagged and Buffy put her arm around her in a silent show of friendship.
Things wrapped up surprisingly quickly after that. The bus was loaded with food, medical supplies and their clothes. Goodbyes were said and promises made about keeping in touch. Angel drew Buffy aside and gave her a small red velvet box. “This is for you, Buffy.”
She glanced at it uncertainly. “What is it?”
“Open it.” There was such tenderness and reassurance in his voice. She felt nervous anyway; she wasn’t sure why. Angel hadn’t given her a gift like this since her…
She opened the box and her breath caught when she saw its content. “Angel, this is--I mean, it looks just like the one…” She shot a swift glance to his watchful face. “It is, isn’t it? How did you find it?”
“When I came back from hell, I think it came with me. I don’t know how it was but somehow it made the journey.” He lifted the Claddagh ring from the velvet interior. The hands, heart and crown were blurred as if they’d been exposed to intense heat. It had merged them all into one indistinguishable mass. He held it out to her and she slipped it onto her left ring finger, the heart pointed out.
Quick to note the disappointed look on his face, she stretched up on her toes and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I’ll turn it the other way when I’ve been baking a little longer. Remember?”
His answering grin was full of relief and he kissed her hard. She clung to him swaying, her lithe form molded to his larger frame. The sweet ache of want bloomed in her breasts again and she pulled away from him, panting.
“Don’t take too long, okay? I’ll be counting the nights.”
“I-I’ll keep in touch. I love you, Angel.”
“I love you, Buffy.”

TBC
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