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World on Fire	By : addielogan Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 2923 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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�God, do I ever
know that look,� Spike said, rolling his eyes skywards. �Every time I see it, I
brace myself for a bloody lecture.�

�After six and a
half centuries, I�ve more or less got the lectures memorized,� Edmund replied.
�I see her start to cross her arms over her chest, and I tune out.�

Spike shook his head
and chuckled. �Not sure Buffy would let me get away with that one. Even if she does tend to get a bit redundant.�

�I find it�s a
lot harder for Isobel to get angry with me when she�s upside down. It�s difficult
to remember what pissed you off when you�re lightheaded.�

�Tried
that. I usually get kicked in the
face.�

�Slayers,� Edmund
said sympathetically. �They definitely don�t make things easy on a man.�� A beat of silence past before he added
wistfully, �But damn, the sex��

Spike�s eyes
glazed over for a moment just thinking about that. �The heat��

�Those muscles��

�Completely worth
getting punched in the nose.�

�Oh
yeah. Actually, that part can be
pretty hot, too��

Spike smirked at
that. �Drives me wild when Buffy�s angry. She gets all
flushed, and her chest starts heaving. Most gorgeous thing in
the whole fucking world.�

�Sometimes I rile
Izzy up just so I can get angry sex.�

Spike chuckled.
�Yeah, I do that with Buffy, too.� He sighed, sobering. �I only wish she
wouldn�t stay angry after the sex. Does
Isobel ever tell you you�re an evil, disgusting thing?�

�She has. More in
the beginning, though,� Edmund replied. �When I first got a hold of her, she
was a pious little Catholic girl who�d been fed a bunch of tripe by the
Watchers� Council. And we�ve had our rows, that�s for
certain. Isobel loves me. She knows what I am, and she�s learned to accept
that. But that doesn�t mean she�s going to let me get away with being nothing
but a monster either. It�s been centuries since she was called, but Isobel�s
still a Slayer. She�s always going to be a Slayer, no matter how many girls
have come along since her. She�s got this unbreakable connection to the light,
and in order to love her, I know I�ve got to understand and respect that. I may
not have chosen who I fell in love with, but I chose to stay and accept the
daily challenge to myself to be the best man I can be for her. No matter how
tempting it may be sometimes, I can�t ever try to pull her down into the
darkness with me. She�d never survive there � it�s not who she is. If I did
that, if I smothered that part of her that makes her who she is, then I�d be
killing everything I love about her.�

Edmund paused for
a moment, giving his words some time to sink in before he started again. �So
yeah, sometimes she says things that are hurtful. Sometimes they�re not called
for, and sometimes they probably are. But she keeps me on my toes, too, always
pushing me to strive for something better. Sometimes I can hate her for it, but
I love her for it, too.�

�I try to be
better for Buffy,� Spike said softly, looking down at the crypt floor. �I try
to fight on her side, turn my back completely on mine, but it�s not enough for
her.�

�You�ve got to
stop thinking about it as your side versus hers. For any relationship to work,
you have to see both of you together as a team, even if it doesn�t always feel
that way or if sometimes the other person doesn�t want to let it be that way.
Yeah, you�re a vampire and she�s a Slayer, and that�s always going to be an
issue. But hey, if Man City fans and Man U fans can make a relationship work,
then really, vampire and Slayer � not such a big deal.�

Spike chuckled
softly. �You�ve got a point there.�

�The first time I
saw Isobel, she was fighting. Wrestling with a demon three times her size and
barely breaking a sweat. In my hundred and nineteen on the planet, I�d never
seen something so beautiful,� Edmund said, a small smile tugging at his lips as
he recalled the memory time had not managed to make any less vivid. �I was with
my sister � my sire � and her three current male companions at the time, and
they told me that was a Slayer and I needed to stay away. They told me she was
the enemy, something I couldn�t touch. But I never let myself think that way. I
didn�t care how things were supposed to be � I just cared about what I felt and
what Isobel was to me.�

�Wish I�d thought
that way from the start,� Spike said with a snort. �By the time I got to Buffy,
I�d already killed two Slayers.�

�Yeah, I know.
I�m pretty sure there�s not a vampire around who doesn�t know who you are, be
they completely in awe or completely jealous.�

Spike arched an
eyebrow. �Yeah? Which one are you then?�

Edmund shrugged.
�Indifferent.� Then, he grinned. �You know, I didn�t exactly make the best
first steps with Isobel either. I wanted to talk to her, but I was nervous. She
seemed, well, completely out of my league. But I couldn�t get her out of my
head, and I kept craving her attention, even if I couldn�t build up the nerve
to actually let her see me.�

�Please tell me you
did something royally idiotic so I won�t feel so bad,� Spike said. �You�ve
managed to make things work out so well with Isobel that I just feel like a
fuck up.�

�I�ve had a lot
of practice,� Edmund said. �And you�ve caught us on a good day. Trust me, we have our bad ones, too. But yeah, I did something
pretty stupid. My brilliant plan to get her attention was to
make my presence known in different villages, lure her there to see her, and
then panic, run off, and start the whole process all over again.�

Spike arched his
eyebrow. �Yeah, that is pretty stupid. And yet, she still seemed like she
forgave you fairly easily.�

Edmund shrugged.
�Isobel didn�t have any emotional baggage when I met her. Not as far as men
were concerned anyway. She was a complete innocent, so I had an advantage. Sex
was all new to her, so once I got the nerve to seduce her, it was relatively
easy, and that kept her with me until�well, until other things strengthened the
bond.� He gave Spike a teasing smirk. �Something tells me you didn�t have such
an easy set up with Buffy.�

�God, not at
all,� Spike said, running his hands through his hair. �Not only did I have to
deal with human men doing a number on her before I got to her, my wanker of a
soul-having grandsire did, too, making her completely convinced a vampire and a
Slayer could never work just because she didn�t work with Angel.� Spike spat the name of the other vampire with disgust.

�Well, I hope
getting a chance to talk to Izzy will help her with
that,� Edmund said. �Let her see that this sort of relationship can work.
Isobel�s been obsessed with that ever since she started dreaming about Buffy.
Apparently she got a condensed version of your relationship courtesy of the
Powers That Be and she was determined to come here and make Buffy see the
light.�

�Good luck on
that one,� Spike muttered. �You could attack Buffy with spotlights, and she�d
still swear it was dark.�

�I wouldn�t be so
sure of that,� Edmund replied with a wry smile. �My Isobel�s a persuasive one.�

�And my Buffy�s a
stubborn one.�

Before Edmund
could respond, the door of the crypt burst open, an out-of-breath Slayer
running inside. �Spike, we have to talk,� she said between pants. She winced.
�No, I mean we do, but�� She stopped, took a deep breath and made herself calm
down. �We have to talk, but not in the way that sounds, because it�s not a bad
talk, or at least I don�t think it�s
going to be a bad talk. I mean, I guess it could turn bad, but��

Spike turned to
Edmund. �Does Isobel ramble like this?�

�Oh
yeah.� He grinned. �It�s
adorable.�

�Isn�t it?� Spike
replied. �Makes me want to pat her head.�

Buffy sighed
exasperatedly and crossed her arms, and Edmund and Spike both started to laugh.

�Ugh, like one of
you isn�t bad enough,� Buffy said with a pout.

�Aww. C�mere, pouty,� Spike said,
reaching his hand out to Buffy. Much to his surprise, she actually went to him,
letting him wrap his arm around her.

�I�ll take that
as my cue to go find my Slayer, let
you two have a chat.� He clapped Spike on the back and gave him a nod. Spike
nodded back.

�Isobel was at my
house when I left her,� Buffy said. �It�s��

�I can find
Isobel,� Edmund said, cutting off her unnecessary directions. �I could find her
anywhere.�

With that, he
gave a brief good-bye and slipped from the crypt.

Alone with Spike
now, Buffy felt herself growing suddenly self-conscious. He had his arm around
her, and all she wanted to do was relax in his embrace, but she knew there were
things that needed to be said.

She just had no
idea how to say them.

After several moments
of uneasy silence, Spike was the first one to break it. �Did you have a good
talk with Isobel?�

�Yeah, we� She
said it�s okay for me to, you know, like you.�

Spike wasn�t sure
if he found her response frustrating or endearing. �And do you like me?� he asked, hoping he could
prompt her to give him more.

�Can we not
talk?� Buffy asked. �I don�t like talking. Let�s just�pretend we talked and
have sex instead.�

A part of Spike
was very intrigued by that plan, though he decided now was probably a good time
to think with the head that sat on his neck for once where Buffy was concerned.

�Are you sure?�
Buffy asked with a seductive grin, her hands reaching for his jeans.

Spike called on
more willpower than he knew he had and moved her hands away from him. She
started to protest, but her words trailed off into a shout when he picked her
up and tossed her over his shoulder.

�What are you
doing?� Buffy asked, kicking.

Spike ducked his
head away from her booted feet. �Sitting you down for a talk,� he replied as he
put her down on a sarcophagus. She started to stand up immediately, but Spike
pushed her down and wagged a finger at her. �Move, and
I�ll have to break out the chains again.�

Buffy smirked, a
tempting sparkle in her eye. �There could be chains.�

Spike refused to
be swayed. He�d been down this road with Buffy enough times to know the ending
by heart. It was time for something else. �Look, you little minx, I don�t care
how much you pout and try to tempt me with bondage, you�re not getting into my
pants until we�ve had a discussion.�

�Girl,� Buffy
muttered, earning her a stern look from Spike, though she did stay put on the
sarcophagus.

�Look, Buffy, I
know you�d probably rather have all your teeth ripped out of your head than
have a serious talk about our relationship, but I�ve got to know where we stand
now. This thing with Isobel and Edmund � it changes things, yeah?�

Buffy looked
down, but nodded. �Yes. It does.�

�You can�t hide behind
your relationship with Angelus now,� Spike pointed out. �You can�t use that as
some sort of proof that vampires and Slayers won�t work.�

�I know.� Buffy
sighed. �I think I�ve just lost a lot of my excuses. I always thought that
having feelings for you was morally
wrong. Like if I cared about you, then maybe I really
did belong in the dark, like you said. But if the Powers wanted me to meet
Isobel and Edmund, to see how happy they are together, then I guess that means
they�re okay with me being with you, too.�

�You don�t belong
in the dark, Buffy,� Spike told her, thinking back to what Edmund had said and
knowing the other vampire was right. �I shouldn�t have dragged you down like
that.�

Buffy put her
hand gently over his, and for the first time, Spike really believed they could
get to a good place together. �You didn�t drag me down, Spike. I was already
there, and it didn�t have to do with anything you did. I thought I�d been
thrown out of Heaven. I felt like there had to be something wrong with me because
of that, and then I was having all these feelings for you, and I don�t know�
I�ve just been so mixed up since� Well, I was going to say since I came back,
but it�s been longer than that. I think I�ve really been on this path since the
moment I was Called, and I never did anything to
really try to fight against all those dark feelings inside of me. I was too
busy concentrating on what I had to do as a Slayer to spend any time at all on
what I needed to do to stay a mentally healthy person, you know?�

�Yeah, sorta noticed that,� Spike replied, earning him a glare
from Buffy.

�You aren�t
supposed to be so quick to call me crazy,� Buffy chided. �At least pretend to give it some thought or
something. Maybe a token protest?�

�Why?� Spike
winked at her. �You know me � I�ve always gone for the crazy chicks.�

Buffy rolled her
eyes and smacked him on the arm, but Spike could see a hint of a smile on her
face, too. �Well, you know, they say like attracts like, so if you attract the
crazies��

Spike snorted. �I
was completely sane before you women drove me around the sodding
bend.�

�Yeah, somehow I seriously doubt that.�

Buffy�s demeanor
changed suddenly, her eyes darting downwards as her face lost is playful
expression, and Spike braced himself for the worst. As much as he wanted to
believe that meeting Edmund and Isobel would be enough to make Buffy stop
insisting what they had was wrong and would never work, he couldn�t help but
fear that Buffy would continue on as she had and simply spin this some way to
make it bad.

�Spike, there�s
something I do need to tell you, and it�s kind of big, but I think you need to
know.�

Spike would�ve
sworn he could feel his heart breaking in his chest, and he clenched his fists,
waiting for whatever was coming. She�s seemed like she wanted to be around him
when she�d shown up, sure, and she had said it would be a �good� talk, but good
for whom? Buffy always went from seeming like she might actually care about him
to crushing his heart in a matter of seconds. Why should now be any different?

�I didn�t get
tossed out of Heaven.�

Okay, so he
hadn�t been expecting that. Whatever that actually meant� She hadn�t been
tossed out of Heaven� What, did they politely
ask her to leave?

Or, Spike
wondered with a growing sense of dread, had she never been in Heaven at all?

�Isobel was in
Heaven once, too,� Buffy said, her gaze firmly on the stone beneath her and off
Spike, leaving her clueless to the play of emotions on his face. �She died
about six months after she was Called, but Edmund had
her resurrected. She said when you first come back, things are all hazy and
jumbled, but she helped me remember what�� Buffy took a deep breath, her throat
seeming to tighten as her desire to tell Spike the truth and her fear of what
would happen when she did warred inside of her. �She helped me remember what
I�d forgotten.�

Was she trying to torture him? Her evasive
half-answers were about to make him scream, and he fought to keep hold of what
little patience he�d been granted in his existence. �What had you forgotten
Buffy?�

�Watching you,�
she said softly, and Spike could tell she�d started crying.

�Watching me�? Buffy?�

She looked up
sharply, wiping at the tears that ran down her face. �I could see you. You were
so broken, Spike. You were hurting so
much, trying to go on and take care of Dawn the way I asked you to, but you
were just wasting away, and� I begged them. I begged them over and over again
to let me go back to you. Everything was different there, so much clearer, and
I knew where I was supposed to be. I
knew where I belonged, and it wasn�t in Heaven.�

Her hand trembled
as she reached across the sarcophagus and placed it over his. �I belong with
you.�

Buffy�s
revelation was a burst of light in his heart, and Spike watched her, his own
love for her laid bare in his eyes as he finally allowed himself to hope.

He only prayed
that she wouldn�t snatch it away from him with her next breath.

*** *** ***

To be concluded
in the next chapter�

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