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Love and Death Embrace	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
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Buffy was back in the bathtub, though she didn�t remember how she�d
gotten there. She remembered being out in the living room for a while, both she
and Spike silent as they�d watched television. She assumed she must have been
even more exhausted than she�d thought and had fallen asleep on the couch � at
which point he�d brought her back to the tub.

She hated the tub. It was so hard and uncomfortable it made everything
hurt even more. The pain had been constant for two days now, and the blood he�d
been feeding her had done little to actually aid in healing. She was starting
to worry she was never going to heal completely, that she�d have to spend the
rest of her unlife being so hideous. If that were the
case, she hoped he wouldn�t take too long to dust her.

She�d felt a little better on the couch, even if it hadn�t exactly been
the nicest couch she�d ever seen. It was lumpy and worn, but it still beat the
damn bathtub. He�d let her keep the pillow and the blanket, but they didn�t do
a lot to help.

Buffy wondered if Spike was awake, and if he was, if he�d let her out
of the tub again. And let her have more blood. She didn�t know if the animal
blood wasn�t filling enough or if it was an effect of her injuries, but she
couldn�t seem to keep from being hungry for long.

What she wouldn�t do for something warm and human�

�Spike?� she called out softly, not wanting to wake him if he was
asleep. She chewed on her lip as she waited for a response, and breathed a sigh
of relief when she heard the door open.

�Can I come out now?� she asked.

Spike turned his head away, not wanting to look at the hopeful
expression on her eyes. �Not now, Buffy. Maybe later.�

�Oh. Can�can I have some blood then?� she asked, disappointment clear
in her voice.

�Later,� Spike told her again, then shut the
door, leaving her alone again.

Buffy stared at the door, feeling very confused. He�d been so�kind to her the night before,
and now he wasn�t even letting her eat? She didn�t understand it. She�d thought
they�d reached some sort of understanding. What had she done to make him go
suddenly cold on her?

Oh, right� She remembered with a wince exactly what she�d
done. She�d been stupid enough to make a pass at him. Of course he didn�t want
her around anymore. She�d probably sickened him.

Buffy resigned herself to staying in the tub, trying her best to ignore
the pain and gnawing hunger.

*** *** ***

Spike sat on the couch, taking deep breaths in a failing attempt to
calm himself. He really had to get a grip, especially
if he was going to be in close quarters with Buffy for the next few days.

He wasn�t able to get the image of the look of lust she�d been watching
him with out of his mind. Even with her injuries, she was absolutely gorgeous,
and his hands ached to touch her, his cock hard at the thought of what it would
be like to be inside of her.

After she�d fallen asleep, he�d spent hours just watching her. She�d
been completely still, so obviously dead, and yet, he�d craved her more than he
had any woman since the loss of his wife. His body had burned for her, and it
was all he could do to keep from waking her and begging her to let him touch
her.

He hadn�t even wanted to take her back into the bathroom. He�d wanted
to gather her into his arms and take her to bed with him, sleep with her body
against his, warming her skin with his touch.

But he couldn�t do that. He�d finally reminded himself of what he was
dealing with, made himself take her into the bathroom and remove the
temptation. Now, he had to put distance between them, stop treating her like
she was a person and not a demon. This had gone on long enough, and he had to
get over whatever crazy thing was going on with him now and remember who they
both were. He hunted her kind; she hunted his.

�Spike?�

Her voice sound so weak, so pitiful, that he was moving towards the
door before he even had a chance to think about what she was doing. He stepped
into the bathroom, wincing at his own cruelness when he saw unshed tears
glistening in her eyes.

�I�m�I�m sorry. For�for what I did when you came out of the shower. I
didn�t really mean to, it just kind of came out. I�I didn�t mean to make you
uncomfortable, and I promise it won�t happen again. I�I won�t say anything at
all if you don�t want me to. I�ll just sit on the couch, and I�ll be quiet,
just�please let me out. Please, Spike. I can�t take it anymore. I�m trying to be
strong and understand why you need me to be chained up, but it hurts so bad. I can�t take the pain anymore. Please. It�s so bad��

�It�it hurts that much worse in the tub?�

�Yes,� Buffy said, her tears falling again. �I have to lay on my burns,
and my legs rub together and chafe, and the chains� Oh god, the chains hurt.
They�re rubbing the burns raw.�

Without a single thought to what he was doing, Spike was at the tub,
unchaining her. �I�m sorry, Buffy,� he said as he helped her out again. �I�I didn�t
realize. I�m sorry.�

�It just hurts,� Buffy said. �I�m so tired of being in pain. I�ve never
hurt like this before��

�Come on, kitten, let�s get you in the bed,� Spike said, offering her
an arm for support as he led her out into the living room. He hadn�t thought
for a minute she�d think his cold treatment of her had anything to do with her
remark after he�d gotten out of the shower. He almost told her the real reason,
but decided maybe he should bite his tongue before things got completely out of
hand.

Buffy realized for the first time that the couch pulled out into a bed
as he led her over to it and helped her get into it. She sighed in relief as
she was able to stretch out on cool sheets, the mattress, though worn, so much
softer than the bathtub. �Thank you, Spike,� she said, closing her eyes for a
moment and savoring the feeling of just being out of the bathroom. �Thank you
so much.�

�Let me get you some blood,� Spike said, leaving her side to go to the
kitchenette and warm her a mug of blood in the
microwave.

Buffy nodded, then let her eyes close. She was
still in a nearly-unbearable amount of pain, but no longer being in that
horrible bathroom made so much of a difference.

When he brought her the blood, she sat up, humming in contentment as
she wrapped her hands around the mug. �This is much better,� she said, even the
pig�s blood not tasting so horrible as it slid down
her throat.

�Do you think maybe something like burn ointment might help?�

His question took her by surprise, and Buffy stopped with the mug at
her lips before lowering it. �Huh?�

�I�I don�t know much about vampire healing, but maybe if I got you some
burn cream, it might at least numb your skin a bit. Make it not so horrible for
you.�

�It would be worth a shot, I guess,� Buffy said. �Anything would help
right now. The wound on my neck from the cross is the most horrible pain I�ve
ever experience in my life.�

Spike swallowed. �It�s really that bad?�

�It feels like someone�s holding a hot poker to my throat. And it�s
barely let up since you did it,� she answered honestly. �I can�t even touch it
without it hurting my fingertips, too.�

Spike had never really given a lot of thought to what cross burns felt
like to vampires. But then again, he�d never really cared.

He handed her the remote to the television
before slipping on his coat. �I won�t be gone long. You�ll be okay for a little
bit?�

�Yeah. You�re going to get burn cream?�

Spike nodded. �There�s more blood in the fridge if you need it.�

�Okay. Thanks.�

�Don�t mention it,� Spike muttered before leaving the apartment before
he could change his mind.

Buffy leaned against the pillows and finished her blood. She could
smell Spike on the sheets, and she closed her eyes, taking in the scent. It was
so rich and masculine, and she wished he�d let her bury her nose against his
skin and just breathe him in.

But she certainly wasn�t going to suggest anything like that.
Especially considering how he�d responded to her one little sexual comment.

Instead, she got off the couch and walked on shaky legs towards the
fridge. She was still ravenous, and she thought she should eat more before he
came back. It was easier to be around humans when she wasn�t so hungry. She
hoped he�d gotten enough to�

Her mouth fell when she opened the fridge. It was filled with containers of blood.
He�d told her he�d gotten three kinds of blood, but he hadn�t told her he�d
gotten a dozen containers of each.

Just how much did he think she ate?

Still, she drank several mugs full of blood, until the hunger she�d
been suffering for days finally seemed to be abating. She went back to the bed
then, turning on the television and flipping through the channels as she waited
for Spike to come back.

And wondered what the hell was taking him so long.

She looked at the clock and realized he�d been gone for over an hour.
Was there no drug store nearby?� She�d
thought he�d be gone ten, fifteen minutes max.

When he finally did come back, he was carrying several bags. She
wondered if he had some sort of version of OCD that made him buy everything in
bulk�

He put the bags on the bed beside her, taking the burn cream out first
before he pulled out a large stack of magazines and dropped those beside her.
�I thought you might like something to read.�

Buffy looked down at the stack, flipping through it quickly. It ran the
gamut from People to Guns and Ammo. �This is quite a selection,� she said with
her eyebrow raised.

�I didn�t know what you like. I got you some clothes, too,� he said. �I
had to guess on sizes, but I thought you might be more comfortable in something
else, especially with your legs like that. I got a nightgown in case you don�t
want them covered at all, and some sweatpants and t-shirts if you�d rather have
that.�

�Thanks,� Buffy said, not sure of what else to say. Although the idea
of wearing something other than the tattered clothes she�d been in since the
holy water was very appealing�

After a moment of debating, she took the nightgown out of the bag. She
probably should cover up more around him, but at the moment, she cared more
about not having cloth on her burns. �Would�would you be willing to just turn
around and let me change here?� she asked. �I don�t want to go back in�there.�

Spike replied with a nod. �Yeah, I can do that.� He turned his back to
her, his breath catching as he thought about the fact that she was about to be
naked in his bed. He could turn around now, take her in his arms, and�

�Spike?�

He could hear tears in her voice again, and it went straight to his
heart. �Yeah?�

�My�my shirt�s stuck.�

He frowned. �Stuck?�

�Too�too my skin. Where
the burns are. I can�t�I can�t get it off.� She paused, and he heard her
take a shuddering breath. �I need help.�

He turned to look at her and swallowed hard. �Yeah, I�ll help,� Spike
said, then approached her, sitting beside her on the bed. He looked at her
shoulder, finding that the shirt was indeed stuck to her burned skin. His hand
hovered above her for a moment, trembling, before he finally pulled at the
fabric. She hissed in pain but said nothing, and he realized with relief that
he was going to be able to pull it away from her flesh.

He worked carefully, peeling away her ruined shirt until it was finally
loose enough that he could pull it over her head. Her chest was bare now, and
Spike�s stomach rolled when he saw how far down the water had run. Her breasts
were covered in the same welts as the rest of her, and it looked�

Well, it looked really painful.

Spike swallowed hard but said nothing as he moved to her skirt,
realizing that was going to take some work, too, since it had fused to her leg.

Her legs were worse than he�d realized, the
backs of them covered in burns from where he�d left her sitting in holy water.
In some places her skin was gone completely� �Is this going to heal?� he asked
softly.

Her almost-whispered, �I don�t know,� made his head snap up. He�d been
thinking aloud, forgetting where he was for a moment, too horrified by what he
was seeing.

Spike almost apologized again. Instead, he took off her shoes.

He could see the full range of her injuries now, and it filled him with
self loathing. He didn�t say anything as he took out the burn cream he�d
bought, applying a healthy amount to her skin. Buffy sighed
softly, her eyes closing and her mouth parting as she let him.

It would�ve been erotic if he had been able to think of anything other
than how much he hated himself for what he�d done. �Does that help?� he asked,
trying to ignore the fact that his hand was massaging her inner thigh.

�Yeah, it does,� Buffy said, unable to hold back a small moan of
pleasure. Even with all the pain, his touch felt so good.
As if he was soothing away the hurting he�d caused.

He wanted to kiss her. Her lips were parted, red and full, and he knew
she�d taste exquisite. His hand still against her leg, he leaned forward, drawn
to her.

And then pulled away. He couldn�t do this. She
was a means to an end, and he was going to have to kill her soon anyway. If he touched her like that� It would only make what he�d
eventually have to do harder.

�Hold up your arms,� he said, making her eyes snap back open. When she
saw he had the nightgown, she did what he said, and he slipped the cool cotton
shift over her head.

She felt better now. Still in pain, still something that would classify
as miserable, but better. The nightgown was much more comfortable than her
ruined top and skirt, and the burn cream did help some. She lay back down,
snuggling up to a pillow. �I need to sleep more,� she said, her eyes sliding
shut now that she could find some degree of comfort comfort.

�That�s fine, pet. I�ll be here if you need anything.�

�Mmmkay,� Buffy replied, already mostly
asleep.

Spike watched her, his hand aching to touch her hair, her skin.

Instead, he picked up a magazine.

*** *** ***

Well, so many of you asked for it, so here it is � three posting days
in a row. Does that mean I get reviews? *bats eyelashes*
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Love and Death Embrace