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Seasons of Faith	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4355 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Seasons of faith
Chapter 8

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Buffy was beginning to panic.
She had been to various graveyards, checked the parks, checked around downtown, and home. Still no Faith.
Something was wrong, very wrong. She was nowhere to be found.
She finally headed back to The Bronze, hoping that she had come there. That Willow forgot to call her. But no Faith.
Willow and Tara, seeing how upset Buffy was, tried to calm her.
“Buffy, it’s ok. She’s ok. She probably is just ahead or behind you. She’ll show up soon” Willow said, not all that convincingly.
“Buffy, I’m sure she just forgot about the Bronze tonight. Are you sure she’s not at home, already?” Tara said, soothingly
“ I… I checked at home. She wasn’t there. I’ve been calling on the cell every 10 minutes, but no answer. She’s not there. I’ve even tried her cell. No answer. Oh, god, what if she’s lying somewhere, hurt? Too weak to get help…or worse? Oh god” Buffy starts to lose it.
Willow comes over, and holds Buffy.” Shhh, shhh… we’ll find her honey…honest” She says.
Buffy is sick with worry. But now isn’t the time to give in to it. She has to strong. Has to find Faith first. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. She tells herself.
“ Ok, we’ll do this. I’ll start checking the hospitals, while you call Giles and Xander, Will. We’ll meet back here, and then fan out and look for her. We’re gonna find her” Buffy says, putting on her best determined face. This is gonna happen. This has gotta happen. I gotta find her. I gotta.
Buffy heads towards the exit. She is keeping cool on the outside, but her insides are starting to fall apart. God, why now? WHY NOW? Things were just starting to go good. Why now??
She runs out the exit, towards Sunnydale Memorial Hospital.
Willow , watching her, her face anxious, starts making her calls.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Faith begins to stir.
She so doesn’t want to wake up. Her head feels like someone has been hammering on it. Her body feels weak, and she so feels like she’s gonna puke. And she smells something…coppery…
She opens her eyes slowly, and sees the body lying close to her. She panics, and skitters backwards away from it. Her eyes go wide in fear, when she realizes she is holding something… a knife, with blood on it. She drops it, and looks around.
Where the hell AM I? What…who…( she goes over, and looks at the body…her stomach flip flops). Oh, god… what happened? What… We were at the Graveyard…he was….and…God I can’t remember anything….it’s all fuzzy. Can’t think. What happened? How did I get here? I…can’t remember….oh no...Oh NO…please no…please say NO…I couldn’t…I didn’t….
Faith feels the fear and panic building. There wasn’t any question she hated Paul DeMarco…but kill him?
I wish I could remember. God, I don’t understand. I…oh, if I killed him, I’ve ruined everything. It’s all over…NO, NO,NO!!! I’ll lose everything…Buffy!!! She’ll…hate me…they’ll all hate me. Oh god NO!
She looks at her clothes, and her fear grows. She has blood splatters all over. She feels bruised and hot and tired.
We musta fought. I musta lost my temper…then…oh, god. If I could only remember!!!!
What am I gonna do? What do I do now? Shit, I’m so totally screwed. What did I do ? What did I DO?
At that moment, there is a loud knocking on the door.
“ POLICE. THERE’S BEEN A REPORT OF A DISTURBANCE. OPEN UP!”
Shit, shit, SHIT!!!!
RUN!
No, gotta face this. Gotta do this.
They’ll never believe you… RUN!!!!
“ OPEN UP!!!”
Faith, in a panic, looks around. She sees a window. She runs towards it. Behind her, there is a loud crashing noise…followed by another, then another… then the door flies open.
Faith , seeing the window closed, runs straight at it.
“HALT. STOP…” The police call out “ STOP OR I’LL SHOOT” He draws his gun.
Faith takes a flying leap through the window. The window shatters, and suddenly she is outside, flying through the air…two stories up. She rolls, and manages to land on her feet… but her leg is hurt. In a second, she is up and running.
“STOP…STOP NOW!” The officer points, and fires, but misses.
Faith, hurting, runs into the night.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Buffy was getting frantic.
She had canvassed the local hospitals without success. No one named Faith, or matching her description, had been admitted this evening. She and the rest had been searching for hours, without any luck. This was getting nowhere, fast. She needed information, now.
She was standing outside Willy’s Place. She hated this dump, and she hated the little slime that ran it. But it had an ear to what was happening in the demon underground, and she needed the information. Squaring herself off, she marched inside.
One particularly nasty looking demon decided he didn’t like slayers interrupting his social time. He stood up, and made for the slayer. She didn’t even think about it. She drew out a stake, and thrust it deep into its neck, killing it instantly. A second demon made a rush at her, but she simply sidestepped it, tripped it, then putting her boot on it’s neck, drove her knife deep into its skull. Or whatever that bulbous thing on it’s neck was. The rest of the …clientele, seeing the Slayer was really in form, decided to concentrate on their drinks. Buffy walks over to the bar to confront Willy.
Willy is a little rat of a man, some say more rat than man. He trades in whisky, and information. Right now, he looks like he’s going to lose his lunch. He might lose a lot more.
“ H-H-Hello, Slayer.. How are y-y-you? What can I get you?” Willy says, trying to stay out of reach.
“ Hello, Willy. I need information. Now” Buffy growls at him.
“I-I- don’t know anything, Slayer” Willy says, clearly nervous.
“ About what, Willy…I haven’t asked you anything yet” Buffy says, a definite threat in her voice.
“ Anything. I don’t know anything” Willy whines.
Buffy grabs his shirt, and pulls him towards herself. Her fist lashes out, hitting Willy in the nose.
“Wrong answer, Willy. Try again” Buffy threatens.
“ I – I- don’t know anything” Willy says, trying to squirm away.
Her fist punches him again. “ Try again, Willy” Buffy says.
“What?” Willy says, his face feeling like hamburger” What do you want to know?”
“Faith…Faith is missing. Where is she?” Buffy says, her anger rising.
“ I don’t know nothing about that” Willy says, bracing. Boom. Fist into chest.
“Wrong, Willy” Buffy says. “ Want to try the bonus round now?”
“ Honest Slayer, I haven’t…” He is interrupted by his head being butted by the bar. “…heard nothing”
Buffy is ready to use his head as a punching bag again when a familiar voice behind her speaks.
“Hold on, Slayer. The stupid git doesn’t know anything. No one’s heard anything about your little girlfriend” a certain condescending British voice sneers.
“Spike!” The blonde slayer turns towards the platinum blonde vampire.” How would you know that?”
“I’ve been here most of the night, slayer. Of course… I might know something” He smirks.
“What , Spike? What do you know?” Buffy says, moving towards him.
“ What’s it worth to you, pet?” Spike says. Ahhh, greed is always a motivator.
Buffy, losing it, rushes Spike, She grabs him by the neck and runs him into the wall… holding him up. Her face is deadly serious.
“Might be worth me not dusting you right here, right now” She says, her voice low but angry. “ That chip you have won’t protect you” She pulls out her stake, putting it to his heart.
“Fine…fine” He says. “ All I know is I saw a man carrying what looked like a woman…out of the cemetery. Restfield. I was coming out of my crypt, and saw it.” Buffy waves the stake under his chin.” That’s it!”
“Where was he headed?” Buffy growls.
“Dunno...towards town” Spike says. She jams the stake against his chest. “ Downtown, I guess. That’s all I know!”
“Fine” She lets him down… rather, drop. He winds up on the floor, on his ass. Buffy turns, and storms out of the bar.
Spike picks himself up, and brushes himself off. There is a hard look on his face. A grin, not very pleasant, replaces the scowl.
“Watch your back, Slayer. Watch your back. One day I’m going to get this chip out, then we’ll have our little dance, and you’ll find yourself….” But at that moment, a huge fist grabs him, and lifts him up. “What the hell?”
A huge demon stares at him. “ Talkin’ to slayers, huh? We don’t want you’re kind around here” The demon carries him to the door, and unceremoniously tosses him out. Spike winds up in a heap in the parking lot.
“Bloody Hell” Spike moans.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Faith kept to the shadows, trying to avoid the cops.
Her body, which hurt before, was really screaming at her now. That little fall had made things 10 times worse. And her leg was killing her. She moved as quietly as possible, biting her lip to keep herself from crying out.
Damn, this is killin’ me. But I gotta get home. Get myself patched up. Grab some clothes, and split. No. can’t go home. Can’t let B. find me. God, I fucked things up so bad this time
Faith had pretty much convinced herself that she had killed Paul DeMarco. She knew she had hated him enough to do it. He had been the start of her life of hell, and she had never forgiven what he’d done to her or her mother.
And then the slime comes here, askin’ for somethin….what? Money! Like I’m gonna give it to him. I kinda remember starting to turn away.. then nothing. I musta blacked out…musta gone ballistic on him. But…how...did I get to that apartment? I dunno, I just don’t know. But I musta killed him there…shit, I wish I could piece it together…but I musta done it…he’s dead, I had the knife…god, I hate myself. I threw it all away… for that slime. I lost it all now…damn me.
Faith feels like her gut has been punched. She slowly slides down the wall. Her insides feel like their being torn apart, her mind in a daze.
Why. Why now? Why do you do this to me? Why do you hate me so? How, why? What did I do that was so bad? Why are you taking the only good thing I ever had away from me? I can’t see her again, She’ll hate me. She’ll never forgive me. Oh damn me to hell, why did I do it? Why can’t I remember? Oh, godI’ve lost it all. It’s all gone. I was making a life here god. I had someone, someone who loved me. Well, she won’t love me now, will she? Now that she knows what I am …worthless crap. Not worthy of even being in the same room with her. God, I wanted so much to be good. To do good. But you won’t let me, will you? You gotta make me bad, don’t you? Why? Cause I don’t deserve nothing, right? I’m nothing, and won’t ever be nothin’. That’s what you want, right? You give me everything, then when it’s good, you take it all away again, just so it hurts more. Fine. Fuck you… fuck it all. Why should I play by your rules, when all you do is hurt me again, and again, and again? Why should I give a rats ass, anyway? Fat lotta good it ever did me.
Faith stands, her anger rising. She starts towards town. She needs stuff. Time to get stuff. Want. Take. Have.
Never shoulda come here. All I did was ruin everything, make everything crap. Well, that’s done. I’ll get what I need, hide out so I can rest up some, then get the hell outta Sunnyhell. I shoulda known better. Nothing for me here, but pain and heartache. Never deserved nothing else. Maybe go back to L.A., get lost. Yeah… works for me.
She moves quietly, keeping back so she isn’t seen. She finds a sporting goods store, and breaks the lock on the door. As quickly as she can, she grabs a sleeping bag, some clothes, and a knife. She gets out, and disappears down the alley.
Slowly, she moves to the edge of town, towards the woods. She finds a spot, sheltered by trees, so she can’t be easily seen. She lays out her sleeping bag, and then sits on top of it.
She’s cold, she hurts, and she’s tired. So tired.
Despite her anger, despite her brave words, she is lost, like a child. Again.
She huddles into herself, and the tears she been holding back come.
And come. And come.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
- 7
- 8
- 9
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Seasons of Faith