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Tough Love	By : noaluvjames Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 2450 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 8: Never leave me

"What�s with the gloating?

"You're not ready to know"

Gah! He was driving her insane. She�d tried to avoid him these last few days, but it was proving impossible. It felt like they were two ships in the night, sailing towards each other and not noticing they were on a collision course. And trying to prevent the inevitable was exhausting since every encounter they had left his mark, and Spike's elusive words echoed in her mind, over and over and over. It was a vicious circle, and he was a master of this stupid dance�

"Buffy"

"I'm working and you should be too. Don't use this delay as an excuse"

"Are you my trainer now?"

"I said I'm working, go away"

"Come on Summers, you know you wanna dance"

Buffy opened her eyes, she figured she'd be better off going to work than lying in bed, so she got up and started to dress. It was hopeless fighting it, she thought, because she�d woken up with the same feelings as the night before and thank God she didn't remember her dreams. Stupid dreams , they never reflected reality�

"A glitch�"

"...I wasn't thinking, I should have used better judgment, considering�"

It was just like a man to take her words and use them against her. Just like Spike, with his mixed signals and over defensiveness. Stupid English guy. Stupid, shirty, doopy, annoying, beautiful, gorgeous� gorgeous�

"Sweetie are you O.K?"

Buffy looked up and saw Hank standing in the middle of her room, she zipped her boot and stood up.

"I see you�re dressed, so does that mean you�re coming to work today?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

"It�s just that you cut early yesterday and said you weren�t feeling well so I thought-"

"I'm fine," she shrugged and walked past him.

"So�you seeing Ben tonight?" he said as they�d left the house.

"Might be."

"Good."

She knew he didn't like the idea of her spending time with Ben and somehow it didn't surprise her. The last time they�d met the circumstances weren't so pleasant, her mom was in a critical condition, and she�d made him feel he wasn't welcome, His sudden appearance in her life annoyed her. And playing the concerned father � it was just too little too late. Did seeing her find comfort in a stranger make him feel redundant in some way? Is that why he hadn�t come to the funeral? Whatever, it didn�t matter any more�

He was her dad, it was as simple as that.

***

She left the office about five in the afternoon, feeling a bit disappointed with her day and saying to herself it wasn't about him and so what if he wasn't in today. So what if he�d rather see his friend fight, than linger by her desk and shoot clever remarks at her. She was going to have a wonderful evening with Ben in the restaurant. He really was a nice guy and he knew her well. Knew what she was going through and all the things she�d been through.

Buffy sighed, put on her black dress and looked at herself in the mirror.

Gonna make the most of it�

***

"I always said Sunnydale was too small-town for you." Ben filled up her glass again.

"Oh yeah , like I'm doing so well here." She rolled her eyes and smiled at him.

"I don't think you�re doing so bad. You're working and soon you�ll have enough money to do whatever you want. You can always go to night school."

"Already got the reject mail."

"Okay, but hey, you�re still a working girl and workers are the tools that shape America."

"That's me then, working gal" she raised her glass.

"Here's for us workers," he smirked as they drank. Ben put down his drink and looked at the woman in front of him. He couldn�t help noticing that even though she was all smiles and laughs, she couldn�t be more distracted.

"I ran into to your friend before I left, what's her name? The one with red hair."

"Willow." Buffy smiled a sad smile remembering her friend back home.

"She talked a lot, didn't really understand most of it."

Buffy chuckled. "Yep that's Willow."

"Seemed to be missing you."

"She said that?"

"Not in so many words, just had the same look as you did when I mentioned her name."

Buffy gazed down , thinking of all her friends she�d left back home and what they must think of her and her disappearance . She hadn't written back, or called. She really felt she was the worst friend in the world. If there was a "worst friend of the year" award, she�d sure earn it.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to upset you." Ben noticed her sudden glum mood.

"That's alr-"

She looked up and suddenly noticed a familiar figure standing few feet away behind their table, moving to the dark corner next to the bar.

"Can you excuse me for a moment?" She got up and Ben rose too.

"Buffy?" he said worried.

"I just need to freshen up, I won't be long."

"Okay." he relaxed and sat back down as she left.

Buffy took a few rushed steps toward the bar and towards the man sitting impassively playing with his lighter and gazing at her as she approached.

"What are you doing? And here?"

"What does it looks like?" he growled.

"It looks like you're stalking me" she stated.

"Don't flatter yourself luv."

"You shouldn't be drinking."

"Does it look like I'm drinking?" Spike narrowed his eyes at her.

"So what is it?"

"I'm enjoying the atmosphere. You should go back to wonder boy there."

Buffy shrugged. She just stood there for a minute not looking at him and she didn't look mad anymore. She crossed her arms and stared into space.

"You alright pet?"

She gazed at him and saw him do that look again. That "I'm so understanding" look That "I can read your mind and you can't escape me even if you try" look.

"I'm fine." How many time do I need to use that phrase today?

"You don't look so fine, in fact you didn't seem to be enjoying yourself so much there either."

"What? Are you my happy guru now?"

"If that was the case luv I would�"

"Just go home Spike! And stop spying on me." She turned to leave but then he got up and glared at her with a look that sent shivers down her spine.

"You know what pet? I might just do that." He took a step, then lowered his head to whisper in her ear.

" I made a bet today. All odds were against Gunn, but I made it anyway in his favor. And the next time you and I have our little rough and tumble, you'll come to me."

Buffy felt his breath hot against her ear and she shook with anticipation at his words.

"Guess what?" he gazed into her eyes.

"He won."

Buffy was about to answer, but before she could even open her mouth he was already heading for the door.

"By the way" He turned to her as he walked away. "Love the dress".

And with that he disappeared into the night.

***

By the time Ben got Buffy to her door, she�d already planned the rest of her evening. First thing she'd do was take off this dress and shred it to little pieces, then she was going to take a hot bath. No, make that a shower, a cold one! After that, she�d search for Hank's sleeping pills because she knew he didn't keep booze in a house. Not anymore anyway. Damn him for sobering up!

"Too bad we had to make it so short." Ben gazed at her without seeming to notice her mind was somewhere else.

Hell he could be in anther dimension, is he still talking�?

�Anyway, I hope we can do this again sometime. Maybe this weekend? What do you say?"

"Maybe� I'll call you."

"Okay then." he leaned to kiss her.

Buffy quickly turned her cheek.

"Ok-ay" Ben sighed looking little confused.

"Bye," he said and Buffy nodded, smiling at him as he glanced at her for a last time before he left.

She took a key from her purse, put it into the lock and froze.

The hell with it�

She took it out and turned away.

***

"How are you feeling Charlie?" Spike muted the T.V. and put the receiver close to his ear as he sprawled across his couch.

"You owe me a Stereo, Spiky. I'm feeling damned great. My ribs are letting me know they�re there, but apart form that�"

"That will pass in a couple of days. Mean-time, smile Charlie, you're a winner."

"Yeah� Not gonna steal my glory are you?"

"You'll bet your ass I will."

"Speaking of bets, how much did you make?"

Spike leaned back and sighed.

"Not nearly enough Charles�"

"What are you talking about!? I know you put a heavy bet on this one."

"Well," Spike stopped himself as he heard a knock on the door. "Wait a minute." He got up, still holding the phone to his ear.

"Spike, would you answer me?" Gunn said impatiently while his friend opened the door.

"Geez! can't you wait a bloody min-"

Spike stared at the woman in the doorway, feeling a bit speechless. He hadn't expected to see her again. And especially not like this, standing peacefully in his doorway.

"Drusilla?"

"Drusilla!?" He heard Gunn through the receiver.

"Call you later mate." He hung up.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in Spike?"

"No�now what do you want?" he said firmly.

"Wanted to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about Dru." He almost shut the door in her face.

"William." She held the door open and, she looked different somehow he thought, her face had a serious expression.

"Make it quick." he held onto the knob.

"I'm sorry, for everything. I know it doesn't make up for what I did, but I hoped you could forgive me."

"Why should I?"

"Everything happens for a reason my William, if life were easy there would be no point in living."

"Well that's very catchy."

"I do hope you get what you wish for. Some things don't happen right away. Sometimes you need to let go, but you already know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I do" Spike whispered

His face was blank, but somewhere she knew she�d got to him. And it was enough.

"Goodbye William." She gave a small smile and turned to leave.

"Goodbye Dru," he murmured and closed the door.

He stood by the door glaring at his crappy apartment, and thought about Dru�s words. Whether they were sincere or not, didn't matter He would get his wish and if he didn�t he�d never forgive her for the pain she�d caused him. He�d once thought she was his family and his home, but now his home was his own. But, for some reason he still felt as if he was waiting for someone to come for him, to save him? This is bloody stupid, he thought. He�d never wanted saving. Dru never saved him! She�d just introduced him with his true self. And his true self didn't wait for anyone anymore.

He opened the door, but didn't have a chance to do a thing, because he'd just got his wish� and she was furious.

"You know what?" Buffy stormed in.

"I really didn't want to come here." She started talking as if she had no control of the words coming out of her mouth. "I knew things would be difficult with dad and I thought probably being so close to my delinquent ex-boyfriend wasn't a good idea either."

She continue without noticing Spike�s puzzled expression as he watched her pace back and forward in front of him.

"But I came here anyway, you know why?" She didn't give him a chance to answer. "I came because I thought I had an opportunity, I thought for once in my life I'd find a place where I could fit in . I thought I could find my fate and I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN FATE!"

"Buffy slow down-"

"No!" she kept going. "I thought I would have peace, but all I found was loneliness and old memories in the form of new ones. And then of course there was you, with your wishy-washy analysis and your "Spike to the rescue" act. Telling me that it wasn't all about me, saying I was selfish."

"I never said�"

"You told me I was strong and treated me as an equal, but then what? Suddenly you feel sorry for me? If that's what this is then I don't need your pity!"

"Buffy," he said warily and got closer to her, but she turned for the door. Spike moved quickly and caught her arm, turning her to face him and pressing her to the door. He put both hands on each said of her head as she gazed at him wrathfully.

"Listen to me and listen good,� he said. �I will never feel sorry for you."

"Well thank you very much."

"Bloody hell summers! What do you want from me? Why did you come here?" Spike couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't help raising his voice.

"I came to tell you that I can't�" Buffy stopped mid sentence and took a deep breath. This is too hard.

"Can't what? Can't dye your hair brown, can't find a parking space, can't shag a worthless boxer?"

"CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU!"

She couldn't have used more powerful words, he thought. Or a better tone of voice to make him quiver. And she did.

She was looking down, panting lightly and cursing under her breath.

Fuck, fuck, fuck�

"Look at me." he ordered watching her lips moving without making a sound.

"Buffy," he cupped her chin with his hand." Look at me" his voice was softer this time.

She blinked and raised her head slowly.

Spike forgot what he was about to say. Her words were still fresh in his mind and now her big, innocent, green eyes were staring at him, all bright and glossy. Another minute of gazing at them and she would bring him to his knees.

Buffy didn't know what hit her. A warm feeling in her chest and her heart and she�d never been explored that way. The way you could be slowly stripped down from all the inhibitions you�d ever had. It was a gentle caress at first, but quickly grew to be the most passionate kiss she�d ever experienced.

She became limp in his arms, her hands coming up to rest on his chest and soon finding their way to the back of his neck as she deepened the kiss.

A few more seconds of bliss and then Spike stopped to breathe, resting his forehead on hers.

"I will never hurt you Buffy," he said panting, his eyes closed. Still feeling warm from the sensation of her embrace.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Spike," she said warily, her lips nudging his while speaking.

Spike opened his eyes slightly and held her gaze.

"I swear it Buffy, I'll never, I�d rather die fighting co-"

"Don't say it." She cut him off. "Don't use that word" she whispered.

"Oh luv" He hugged her tightly and she let her chin rest on the crock of his neck.

Spike stroked her back softly, caressed her and felt the tension slowly leaving her body.

After a moment Buffy looked up to meet his gaze. She watched his eyes closely, seeing nothing but caring, tenderness, desire and�

"Make love to me Spike."

"Buffy." He replied in a strangled voice, looking stunned.

Buffy suddenly felt ashamed, she took a step back, gazing at the floor.

"I'm sorry, I must be crazy" she muttered.

"God women! You�re driving me crazy."

She glanced at him again and Spike closed the gap between them.

"I don't think you know what you�re getting yourself into." He stood the way they were before, a slow grin spreading across his face.

"Give in to me luv, and I will never let you go."

"What makes you believe I'll do that." She smiled lightly, knowing that they were back to their snappy remarks routine.

"I don't believe in anything." He leaned down and picked her up to his arms. She let out a yelp of surprise.

"I like to look at the facts," he smirked and started walking to his bedroom, his eyes never leaving her face.

"What about fate Spike�do you believe in fate?" she whispered gazing at his shining eyes. Gorgeous no doubt �

Spike laid her on the bed gently, and gazed at her dazzling face. A trembling hand rose to move a lock of hair from her face.

"Yeah luv, I believe in fate."

Tbc
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Tough Love