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Timeless Faith	By : norwalker Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3106 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Timeless Faith

By Norwalker

Part 8 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: There is always the possibility of major character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations bet mem members of the same gender. This is an Alternate Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don’t give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

Bloody Hell, he swears to himself as he hangs up the phone.

Rupert Giles is not one to lose his temper. He's worked hard since his ' Ripper' days to be in control. All the time. But this… is intolerable. And wonderful… and puzzling.

He can't believe what he's just heard. That Buffy is alive. That's not possible. He saw her die. But it seems Willow was not ready to accept the judgment of destiny. She, along with help from Tara, Xander and Anya, brought Buffy back from the dead. Just hearing that gave him a queasy feeling. Resurrection spells are nothing to play with… as a matter of fact, they are nothing to use, period. They rely on magic that is… based in the darker regions of power. Invoking a God of death to restore someone is risky at best, disastrous most of the times. Even with a mystical death like Buffy's, the consequences can be enormous. Even with practitioners who've been studying magic for decades. So many things can go wrong. Evidently, something major went wrong.

Buffy can't remember who she is, or who the people she loves are. At least, that's what Dawn told him. She overheard the arguing going on between Faith and Willow… and then Faith explained it all to her. She seems to be her basic self, that is her personality seems intact. As much as it can be without her knowing who she is. It's all very unclear yet, it just happened. Only time would tell if the 'real' Buffy emerges… or someone different. That's the frightening part. How different would she be? There's no way of telling.

He feels bad for all of them. It must be devastating to have someone returned to you, only to find they no longer knew you. He felt particularly bad for Dawn and Faith. Though Dawn seemed to be taking it equitably, at least she sounded that way over the phone, it still must be unsettling for her to have her sister, he only 'real' family, not recognize her. Though, from what she said on the phone, she hadn't 'seen' Buffy yet…except asleep. No telling how she'll react once Buffy is awake. It wasn't going to easy for her to adjust. She's a brave girl, and will probably try to appear to be handling it well, but inside… it might really tear her up.

Then there's Faith. According to Dawn, she found Buffy after the spell had been cast. After everybody had left, thinking the spell had failed. The shock of seeing her must've been bad enough; to then find out that Buffy no longer knew who she was, that must've been heartbreaking. Giles is well aware of how much Faith loved her sister slayer. At first he'd been a little … distant from her, not understanding her motives and methods. But slowly, as he learned the full story behind their relationship, what she'd done to bring Buffy home, and how she stuck by her, when others would've run, he… found himself becoming quite fond of her. He, of course, was quite fond of Buffy… he'd lost his position as her 'official' watcher over it. They thought he'd lost his objectivity where she was concerned; he was too much like a father to her. Frankly, he wouldn't have it any other way. In more ways than one she'd been like a daughter to him. When Angel had lost his soul, and she eventually had to kill him, he knew how much it hurt her. But she'd run away before he could do anything to help her. He'd worried, like any father would. Went searching for her on any lead, no matter how ridiculous. It wasn't until Faith had brought her back that they'd been reunited, so to speak. He'd been very upset with her, and very angry, running away instead of coming to those who loved her and wanted to help her.

But he realized now maybe running away, to L.A. , and meeting Faith had been the best thing she could do. She'd changed when she came back. She was more self reliant. More mature. And though not right away, she seemed to envision a life without Angel in it. Which was best, because there could be no 'life' with Angel. It was doomed almost from the start, and after learning about the curse… there was no hope. She'd grown up a lot over that summer, and Giles realizes now, that was due to Faith.

He doesn't understand their relationship. Or, that is, what their relationship had been. Unless you are a slayer, there are things that you just can't get. They had a special bond because they put their lives on the line every day. Even beyond that they seemed to 'sense' each other in uncommon ways. No, it was not 'perfect'. They've had lots of problems. But they somehow stuck it out together. They probably thought they would always be together.

Which must make what has happened now so much more difficult and painful for Faith, Giles ponders, it must feel like someone has taken shears and cut out a the last 3 years of her life… the most important part of her life. How's she going to cope with Buffy not knowing her? How is she going to handle loving someone who may never love her back the same way again? It must be like losing half you're soul. Giles knew what it was like to lose someone you loved; Jenny Calendar had been special, very special to him. When she died, he felt a part of himself had died. He quite understood how badly Faith had felt when Buffy died. But this must be worse. She's alive now, but for what they'd had, she might well be dead. Poor, poor girl!

Oh, god, and Buffy! She must be scared half to death. Being surrounded by strangers who claim to be your friends and family? Not knowing how to act towards them… not knowing who you are! She must feel like a piece of paper caught in a stream… floating into the unknown, nothing in control, and nothing you can do to stop it! She's going to need patience, and all the help and support she can get.

He knew what he had to do. He had to go back to Sunnydale. To help in any way he could. But first, he had to consult with a local coven… the one in Devonshire. He knew the leader, and maybe she could help him find someway to augment Willow's spell… restore Buffy's memories to her.

Willow… there was another problem. Why had she done this? He was sure she had some good reason for invoking such terrible powers. He hoped so. When, years ago, he'd found out she was dabbling in magic, he'd been uneasy. As time went on, and she became better at it, he still felt some qualms. But she seemed to keep it in control… until last year, when they faced Glory. She'd researched some spells…which gave him major frights. Fortunately, she hadn't used them. But … that seems to have changed. She's started down a dangerous path. He wondered if he could divert her?

He hoped so, for all their sakes.

Life at 1630 Revello Drive wasn't getting much easier.

After the night of the blow-up, Faith and Willow, through silent mutual consent try to get along. But there's still a tension between them, a strain that's noticeable to all. They're polite to each other, sometimes a bit too polite. Refrigerators have more warmth that is between them. This of course, puts more strain on Tara, who is normally a placid, peaceful and somewhat shy person. But the strain of having to be peacekeeper has started to fray her nerves, and she's known to snap at Willow or Faith when they get a bit too 'icy'. She immediately feels bad, because it's not her nature to get waspish. But she can't help it; the two of them , being so obstinate, is making her a little crazy.

Dawn is getting a bit sullen too. She's been trying hard to put a cheerful face on everything, trying to keep peace in her family. But she's dealing with her own issues. Her sister is back, and acting distant and weird. Faith, who she has a mega crush on, is like all out of it because of Buffy(Like, that's news) and of course doesn’t feel about Dawn the way Dawn feels about her. That totally sucks she thinks to herself. And Will and Faith fighting certainly isn't helping anything. Poor Tara, she's having to try to keep things calm. Buffy's no help; she can't really understand what the what is around here. I used to be so pissed when Buffy wouldn't stop and talk to me; now that's all she wants to do. I finally get what it's like to have a little sister… cause Buffy's like that. Always asking me questions. Sometimes it's just too much, and I snap at her. Then she gets this hurt look, and apologizes, and of course I feel like crap. But it's just so annoying sometimes, you know? She wonders if Faith and Willow are ever going to make it up. There so edgy around each other, it's hard to be in the same room with them when they're together. And both have 'sides'… and they both want me on their side. Sigh. This sucks so bad. She knows that something's going to have to give, or there's going to be major warfare breaking out here soon. She only hope Giles comes soon. He can fix this, she knows. She hopes, anyway.

Perhaps the person taking it hardest is Buffy. She looks around at the faces surrounding her, seeing the smiles(when she's there and they know it) and the frowns, and sullen looks( when they don't know it, or think she doesn't see it). She feels a lot like Alice in Wonderland ; Everything's backwards, and she can't make out what the heck is going on. Her 'friends', that would be Faith and Willow, seem to like her well enough, but they so can't stand each other( how did that happen?) en ten though she's not sure, she feels somehow it's her fault. Like she's doing something wrong. But no one'll tell her what she's doing wrong. Willow is cheerful and upbeat around her; she keeps declaring she'll find a 'fix' to Buffy's memory problems. Good on that, but why does it give her the wiggins ? She'll spend hours with Buffy going over old pictures and things, trying to jog her memory, or at least fill it in. That's nice, but she senses Tara's a little not liking it. And Buffy doesn't want to upset Tara… so far she's the one that's made Buffy feel the most comfortable and 'normal', even in the current state she's in. She really likes Tara.

Her sister… that's a tough one to figure out. She runs hot and cold concerning Buffy. Sometimes she spends a lot of time trying to help Buffy remember their past together. Dawn's shown her pictures of their mom and dad. They look like nice enough people, but they're total strangers. According to Dawn, their mom died last year. Brain tumor. It was a bad time for all of them; evidently she was a great mom. God, she wishes she could remember her… or anyone for that matter. Their dad divorced their mom 6 years ago… and has been pretty absent from their lives since. She can tell that bugs Dawn; should bug me too, she thinks. But of course, it doesn't. Grrr. Strangely enough, it's the fact that it doesn't bug her that frustrates her.

It's Faith, though, that's the riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. Buffy feels on a deep level that they shared something special. It bothers her to no end, because she feels it's something very important, something that if she could remember it, would trigger all the rest of her memories. It's frustrating, and exciting at the same time. She likes spending time with Faith, but it's also frustrating. Because of all the people here, Faith is the one person that won't go into their former relationship. How am I supposed to get a clue to what we were together, if she won't at least give me a hint or 12? She seems to want to put our…well, whatever we had, in a box, and seal it tight. As if it had no relevance to what we are now. I thought we got that cleared up that morning in the backyard. I want to know what we had, I want to… it's important! But if I bring it up, she gets all antsy and suddenly remembers she has to do something, or take Dawn somewhere, or some such. She's friendly… no, it's more…she's affectionate towards me. I can see how she looks at me… God, how I want that to mean something, doesn't she get it? She'll talk about anything, except the "Big" thing. I see the sadness in her eyes. It's… it hurts to think that it hurts her so much. It hurts to think she can't trust me enough to be honest with me, how she feels, how she hurts. I want to… I want to help her… and help me? Yes, help me too. She won't do it though. She won't come clean about it. She kinda hinted on it that day in the backyard. She doesn't want to influence me… doesn't want me to feel 'obligated'. But, isn't love about knowing how the other person feels? Oh yeah, listen to me. Ms. brain trust here. Can't hardly remember my own name half the time. God, what a dorky name. Buffy? Who thought THAT on? Oh? Oh yeah… I remember now… Dawn told me. Cousin Celia named me that as a kid… cause she couldn’t quite say " Bethy" which everyone called me then. So she called me ' Buffy', and it stuck. Like glue, evidently. Didn't anyone ever think of like " Lizzie"? or Eliza? Or Beth? Or even Anne? Elizabeth Anne Summers, ok, that's a name. Buffy? That's a joke. But everyone knows my by Buffy, so I guess it's still sticking.

Except with Faith… who calls me " B". Which I'm kinda getting to like. Which just adds more to the mystery that is Faith. Buffy sighs. That's what's so frustrating. She just can’t get a handle on Faith. Sometimes she seems so strong and confident. Sometimes she gets nervy and irritable for no reason. Sometimes she looks like she wants to cry(which pulls at my heartstrings and makes me want to cry, too). Buffy gets confused when she reaches out and casually touches Faith. She can see her tense up, and has to visibly force herself to relax… as if the the touch hurt her( or, she doesn't know how to handle me touching her). Sometimes when Faith looks at her, looking for the 'real' Buffy inside( Ummm… real Buffy here, I think… but I don't know…god, I HATE this!), Buffy just wants to pull her in her arms and hold her close(still not getting that one!). Sometimes she wants to melt into Faith's arms and be held. But how does she tell her that, without it getting all weird and Faith …ok, gonna say it, without Faith running away from me again? Why won't she help me? Why won't she tell me? I can deal, Faith, IF YOU'LL ONLY TRUST ME!!!

It’s moments like this, or when everything is all tense, when Buffy fervently wishes that Willow hadn't brought her back. It's all too hard, too painful to deal. She can't remember squat, not without help. She feels like a stranger all the time. She longs for the peace of not being, the quiet nothingness of non-existence. She knows it would be easier for her. She suspects it would be easier for everyone. She knows being here is just making everything crazy for everyone. At these moments, with these thoughts, she wonders if she just shouldn't leave. Go somewhere, disappear.

Let them get on with their lives.

Faith sat in her basement 'apartment' and wondered how much lower her life could get.

She's moved down here, putting in a bed , a table and some necessities for living. All in all, the effect was extremely Spartan… reflecting how she felt inside. Empty, bare to the bone. Ugly, seedy and just a little barren. It reminds her so much of the hundreds of cheap motels she stayed in, she almost wants to puke with nostalgia.

A wave of restlessness came over her, and she couldn't sit still. She was up on her feet in a flash, and started pacing. It seems to her that in the space of a few days, she's moved from being part of the family to being on the outside… again! This is like prison, only worse because she's doing this voluntarily. Just how stupid do you get, girl? Everybody else is sharing the house, and you're down in this dank hole of a basement… cause this is the only place left(except the garage, which is not an option). It's like I did something bad… but what, I'd like to know? Tara and Willow got a room, Buffy's got a room, Dawn's got a room… and good ole Faith's got the basement. Somethin' aint right here. It's like I'm being punished for Buffy comin' back… like I'm doing wrong. After living here on and off for what? Nearly 3 years, kinda wondering how when things get a bit outta whack, I'm winding up in the pile of dog crap? Faith stops, sees a box and kicks it in frustration. It goes skittering across the floor, finally overturning and spilling its contents. Sighing, she goes to pick up the mess. She finds it contains some of the 'stuff' she and Buffy collected when they were together in L.A. She squats down, looking at the various little items, each one having a memory attached to it. She smiles a sad little smile.

God, we were happy there. Weren't we? For awhile, anyway. Just her and me, two kids kinda lost, finding each other, clinging to each other trying to make the world work for us. Boy who woulda thought that 3 years plus later, we'd still be kinda together. Kinda together, how do you do that, anyway? Yeah, sure. I'm living in a basement, and she's living 2 floors above me in her room. We're strangers. Ok, I'm a stranger to her, she's not to me. Well… no, that’s not right either, cause I don't know THIS Buffy, do I? Really? I mean, she's not the same girl, is she?

I dunno. I mean, ok, she don't remember who she is, who any of us are… at least not anything but what we've told her. Still, some of the things she does, or says, almost spooks me it's so like 'B'. She moves the same, she talks… god, … she talks just like herself. Big change I notice? She's not trying to hide anything… cause she aint got nothin' to hide. That and she treats Dawnie more like a grown-up… kinda not comin' down on her so much… or at all. So far, all to the positive. I even catch her once in awhile giving me the look… like she's trying to scope me out, figure out exactly who I am, like it's important to her. So, the question is, Faith, if she's like B, and she looks like B, and she acts like B… what's the deal? Why're you trying to hide so much from her?

We don't know each other. Not anymore. But hey. Remember, before that summer in L.A., you didn't know her either. Did that stop you then? Or did you hang in there, figuring something's there that's worth stickin' around for. So, girly…what's changed? Don't ya love her anymore? Oh, yeah, and the sun's stopped risin' in the east, too huh? Ok, she doesn't love me. Well, boo hoo, Faith. She didn't love you at first in L.A. either. Look how that turned out? Not so liking the ending… but before that? Kinda ok, don't ya think? Shit, girlfriend, even with the fights and tears and crap, it's been the best 3 ½ years of your life. I wouldn't trade one bitty bit of it for nothin'. Even the worst, when I thought it all was over, dammit, was better than anything before it.

So why am I lettin' it slip from me now? Why all all wimpy around her, avoiding any kinda closeness? Cause I want to do the right thing? SHIT!!! That's so bogus. You're scared, Faith. Admit it, you're scared shitless. You're afraid she's gonna reject you, throw you on the heap of forgotten yesterdays. But guess what? You're gonna wind up there anyway if ya keep this up. When ya first got together, it was hopeless. That's what you thought. Maybe it's hopeless now, too. But dammit, I don't care. I don't care if I only wind up a 'friend'. Cuz, no pain, no gain, Faith. Ya gotta take your lumps, if ya want her. Really, truly want her. So, that's the deal. Do you really want her? Or are you too chicken?

Faith starts putting the stuff back in the box, still wondering if there was a future for Buffy and herself. She's just about finished when she comes across a strip of pictures. Those kind you get at the cheap photo booths. They're of Buffy and her, back when they were in L.A. together. She stares at them. God, we're so young. She smiles, cause they were goofing totally, they mostly were of silly expressions, lots of tongues stuck out at the camera. But a couple of them, the last few, are less goofy. They're smiling, heads together, just seeming to love being together… the next one, they're kissing. Look at us. We were young and stupid, didn't have shit in the way of money, lived in a crappy little studio apartment, playing house, and god, we were so fucking happy! How come? Cuz, we were together. At that moment, nothing else in the world mattered. The whole fucking world hadn't dropped on us yet, crushing us to bits. We just knew that we'd be together forever.

Faith stands up, clutching the pictures, and takes them over to the little table by her bed. She opens the drawer, and puts them inside. Something has changed in her face. Her expression has a new sense of purpose to it. She finishes cleaning up the mess she made, and then walks back over to her bed, sitting down. A smile, a real smile, creeps slowly across her face.

I sure was gutsier when I was 16, Faith thinks to herself, I knew what I wanted, and went after it, and damn the torpedoes. Well… time to be 16 again, Faith. She doesn't know you, just like then. But you know what you want, just like then. Screw this 'fairness' crap. She and me? We're meant to be together. She didn't know it then, either. Just gotta educate her. School's in session, Professor Faith is teachin, and one Ms. Buffy Summers gonna learn exactly what's good for her. Me!

Faith, with a little knowing half smirk, and a new gleam in her eye, walks over to her clothing rack. She picks out the tight leather pants that fit just so across her cute ass, and … on a whim, a bustier she hasn't worn in years. She puts it up to her body, and smiles, knowing it'll still fit, and still show off all the 'goodies' underneath. Can't activate her sweet tooth if I don't give her a lil taste of the candy. Grabbing her clothes, she heads upstairs to take a shower. That little confident swagger's back in her walk. Faith's got business to take care of. Buffy business.

She plans on taking no prisoners.

Dawn is lying on her bed, book open, at least pretending to study.

But her mind is elsewhere. She's bored, and wishes she could've gone out with the others. Willow had the bright idea that Buffy should be 'taken' out, get a feel for the town again. Probably wind up at the Bronze, she thinks to herself. Not much else to do in Sunnydale at night. Or anytime, really. Dawn had been excited about the idea at first. Get out of the house, have some fun, the whole bunch of them. But Willow nixed that idea.

" School night, Dawnie. And you've got homework." She said, to Dawn's deflating hopes.

" Please… please … PLEASE!!!" Dawn begged. She so didn't want to be stuck home… not when there was fun to be had.

" W-we'll do it another night, Dawn. All of us together" Tara said, looking at Willow. Who didn't look all that pleased because 'all of us' included Faith.

"Another night, Dawn. Weekend night" Willow said, smiling, " You can go along then, ok?"

" I guess" Dawn said, pouting, " I mean, do I really get a choice?". She looks at the group, and the expressions. " Didn't think so" she said, unhappily.

" Should she be left alone?" Buffy asked, " I mean, with what you've told me, lots of things running around out there. Shouldn't someone stay with her?". Buffy's still rather uncertain about this 'expedition' . She's still trying to get used to the idea of being a sister, and friend, and slayer(?). Not nearly as excited as Tara and Willow are about this little tour. Maybe they know best. Probably be good to get out. But… isn't faith coming?

" Don't worry, Buffy. Pretty sure Dawn'll be ok here alone. She's 15, right? And anyway, Faith is still here, I think. Somewhere. In case anything comes up", Willow assures her.

"Oh," Buffy says, sounding a little disappointed, " Isn't Faith coming, too?".

"No. She kinda disappeared downstairs after dinner. Figured she has stuff to do. Or maybe just not feeling well," Willow replied.

"Did you ask her?" Tara asked Willow.

"Didn't want to disturb her" Willow said.

Tara gives Willow a look, but keeps her silence. Dawn makes one last desperate bid to come along.

" Hey, I'm almost done here. I promise I'll finish soon as we get home. Please let me come?" Dawn pulls out all the stops, wanting to be included.

"Dawnie, I promise. This weekend, we'll all go out and have some fun. Tonight is just to get Buffy reoriented, sorta" Willow said. " We'll see you when we get back, ok?"

"Ok" Dawn muttered, with whom it's definitely NOT ok.

Willow moved to give Dawn a reassuring pat, but Dawn kind of shrugs it off. For a brief second, Willow looks hurt, then sighs. She turns, and leading the others out. A moment passes, then Buffy looks back in.

" You gonna be ok, Dawn?" Buffy asked.

" Yeah, I'll be peachy" Dawn says, but tries to smile anyway. Buffy nods, then leaves.

So Dawn lies here, staring at the history book opened in front of her, the words swimming over the page. She has re-read the same paragraph 5 times, and she doubts she'll get much beyond it tonight. She hoists herself off her bed with a huge sigh which reflects how much she's put upon, how frustrated she feels at being treated as a child, how utterly and completely unfair her life is., and walks over to her radio, turning it on, loud. At least there's no one here to tell me to turn it down She thinks, as she saunters back over to her bed, and her history text. She plops down on her tummy, her feet in the air, facing away from the door. She makes an effort to read the text, but soon she's just listening to the music, her feet waving in a kind of rhythm to the music.

Her mind drifts off, and she imagines herself locked away in a tower by her evil sister and her friends, forced to work at some drudgery while she and her accomplices have a killer party downstairs, and she can barely make out the music as it wafts it's way up to her lonely, barren tower room. She is of course the beautiful and maligned younger sister, forced to drudge and slave for them, because they are totally jealous of her beauty, grace and wit. They know she would be the belle of the ball, all the handsome courtiers and princes swooning at her feet, if they dared allowed her at their parties. So, they keep her locked away, dressed in rags, let out only to clean up the mess after. She moves to the towards a window, looking out upon the starry night, searching for her handsome, valiant prince( or princess, whatever the case may be) to come rescue her. She will then be carried off to a fabulous Kingdom, and will be made princess. She will rule with her lover wisely, and be rewarded for her trials with fabulous jewels, and clothes, and all manner of wonderful things…

" Hey… P-nut… wake up, princess… earth to Dawn….hello? H-E-L-L-0!!!!!"

A familiar voice shatters her daydream, and Dawn is pulled swiftly back into her reality. She sighs, she was having such a great time in her kingdom.

" Yeah? What Faith?" Dawn replies, a little peevishly, not turning around.

" Hey, glad to have you back, kiddo… mind if I turn this down a little?" Faith walks over and turns down the volume on the radio, " Ok, that's better. So, what? Were you daydreaming?" Faith smiles.

" Nooo" Dawn says, still not turning around," I -- I was thinking".

" Oh? Ok, P-nut" Faith says, a knowing edge to her voice, " Hope he's a cutie".

" God!" Dawn blusters, an exasperated edge to her voice, " Not EVERTHING is about boys! I was thinking… about my history assignment".
" Of course! Stupid me!" Faith says, still smiling to Dawn's back, " Sorry, P-nut. Ummm… where is everybody? Kinda like a tomb around here, it's so quiet," Faith makes a face, "except for your radio, that is" she chuckles.

" Dunno" Dawn answers, vaguely, " they went out…somewhere" She still is turned away from Faith. She's trying to ignore her. Kind of like a snowball ignoring a blast furnace, but right now, she wants to be alone, so she can brood over the general unfairness of life.

" Out? Where?" Faith asks, not able to hide all of her disappointment. Figures. I finally get the idea to ask Buffy out, and what? Red manages to beat me to that, too!

" I dunno. They said something about going downtown, kinda get Buffy reacquainted with things" Dawn says, her tone irritated. " Geeze, just said that. Didn't you hear me, Faith?"

"Yeah, I did" Faith says, taken a little aback, " Ummm… ok, P-nut, out with it. What's buggin' ya?"

" Nothing" Dawn replies, petulantly, " I just got homework to do, and I gotta get it done!"

" You sure?" Faith asks, concerned, " You know you can talk to me about anything, kiddo"

" Honest, Faith, " Dawn says, finally turning around, " There's nothing….." she trails off.

Dawn just stares, open mouthed. This is the first time she's ever seen Faith in full regalia. Faith is wearing, besides the aforementioned black leather pants and laced front Bustier, a black ribbon choker with a pearl, silver earrings, and her high heeled boots. Her hair is full and glossy and lustrous, and she's wearing the dark crimson lipstick she favored when she was younger, with matching nail polish. The effect is finished off with numerous silver rings on her fingers, including thumb rings. All in all, the effect is , as Willow has put it in the past, " Slut bomb". However, that's so not how Dawn is seeing her. The whole room seems to have gone into soft focus, except for Faith, who is sharp and clear. She seems to have a glow about her, almost ethereal. She looks like Xena, except 100 times sexier. Dawn feels her heart hammering in her chest. A flush is creeping up her neck. Her breathing is a bit … gaspy, and she is a little tingly. Her crush level just zoomed up.

Faith, seeing Dawn's reaction, doesn't get what's going on. She's afraid Dawn is having some kind of seizure, or is sick or something. She comes over to Dawn, and puts her hand on her face.

" Honey? Are you ok?" Faith asks, worriedly, " You seem a bit… dazed".

"Huh?" Dawn asks, as if waking from a dream. She quickly tries to regain her cool, "yeah… yeah, fine… just still kind of in study-zone mode. No big!" Except now that Faith is closer, Dawn can smell her perfume also, which is adding to her already out-of –whack hormones.

" You sure, P-nut? You're kinda flushed" Faith says, putting her hand on Dawn's forehead. " Hmmm… little warm. Maybe you should call it an early night."

" Faith , I—I'm fine, I'm not a child!" Dawn explodes, " You're not my mom, quit acting like it!"

Faith reels back from Dawn's outburst. She doesn't know what brought it on, but she knows it hurt. She can't believe it hurt as much as it did.

" I'm sorry, Dawn," Faith says, her voice expressing her hurt, " I don't know what I did, but I'm really sorry". She turns to go. She calls back over her shoulder, " I'll see you in the morning, ok?" She starts to leave, upset and confused.

"Faith…FAITH…wait…please" Dawn says, contrite, "I… I didn't mean to blow up at you….please!" She jumps off her bed and runs after Faith, catching her arm. Faith stops, and turns around. She's very upset. She got all dressed up for Buffy, to take her out, only to find out Willow beat her to the punch. Now, Dawn is angry with her, and she doesn't know why. She feels close to tears. She's screwing up everything, and she doesn't know how she's doing it.

"Dawnie, honey, what did I do?" Faith asks, really wanting to know, " I didn't… I really didn’t mean to upset you!"

Dawn, seeing how upset Faith is, hugs her to reassure her. Forgetting herself for a moment, Dawn lays her head on Faith's shoulder.

Dawn sighs heavily, and almost whispers , " I just wish… " then trails off. Her face is sad, her voice full of longing. She pulls a little away from Faith

Faith looks at her, " What, Dawnie?" She asks, not understanding what Dawn is driving at. A look passes between them, and the neurons fire in Faith's brain, and the pathways connect. She finally gets it. " Oh," She says, quietly, almost speechl Tot Totally pre prepared for this.

" But you? You're even worse. You've been moping and crying and drinking… yeah, I know about the drinking, you think I'm stupid, too?" Dawn challenges. She goes on when Faith doesn't say anything, " All the time I see you, I just want to hold you, make it better. But you only see a kid. A nobody, a nothing. Someone you promised to look out for. But you don't look too hard, do you Faith? DO YOU?" Again she challenges Faith, and again Faith is silent." No, you just see what you want to see. A kid. Newsflash, Faith. I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE!!! I'm a woman. I'm young, I know. But not any younger than when you became a slayer! Not too much younger than when you and Buffy fell in love. But no, you just see a child, someone to take care of… not someone who could take care of you back. I was patient, I would wait. Til it wasn't weird for you anymore. Cuz what I feel is real, it's so not weird for me!!!" She's pacing back and forth, everything rising up to the surface, fueling her fury.

" Then Willow brings Buffy back. But not the real Buffy. a damaged Buffy… she doesn't remember herself, or any of us. She's just the shell of my sister," Dawn spits out, " But everybody's fawning over her. Even me, cuz I love my sister and want her back, too. But meantime, you and Will are acting like jealous rivals, at each other every chance you get. Willow barely conceals how she wants Buffy to be her girlfriend, and can you imagine how that makes Tara feel? If I were Tara I'd kick her butt for treating me like that. But she doesn't because she loves Willow. And Tara isn't a butt-kicker. But she will leave Willow, bank on it. She won't take much more of this, and I don't blame her one little bit". She stops her pacing, facing Faith. The look in her eye is so angry, so threatening even Faith takes a step back.

Dawn unleashes on Faith, both barrels, " You're the worst! You get back your precious Buffy, then retreat. God, I can't figure you at all. You love her so much, but you let Willow walk all over you when it comes to Buffy. You act like you got no rights with Buffy, that you're a nothing. You act like a beaten puppy, coming back for more abuse, hoping against hope this time your mistress will give you a pat instead of a kick. And the worst? You make me feel like that, cause I keep coming back hoping this time you'll notice ME instead of Buffy. See that I'm nuts about you. But you don't. You can't. You got Buffy on the brain, and there's no cure for that I guess. I'm like nothing to you, and it hurts, " Dawn starts to cry." Damn you, why don't you see me? You come here, dressed like that, hoping Buffy will notice you" Dawn gestures at Faith, in her outfit, " And I'm blown away. God you look like a goddess, and yet… shit" She breaks off, the hurt too much. She stands and cries. Her hurt and anger compete for control, anger finally winning, " You make me feel like that puppy. I hate this . I hate feeling this way, knowing there's no hope, not a chance you could EVER feel the same! Why do you want to hurt me? Why?" She stops, waiting for an answer that's not coming, " Damn you, Faith. I hate you! I HATE YOU! I hate you for making me feel this way. Hopeless, unloved, and dirty. Yeah, dirty. Cuz it's like because I feel the way I do I'm trying to steal you from Buffy. That's so not it. I can't help what I feel. But you don't have to make me feel this way. You don't have to be here. Get out. " She rushes at Faith in a fury, shoving at her, hitting on her, "Get OUT. LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET OUT OF HERE. GET OUT!" She screams, shoving Faith back to the door.

Faith, beyond shock, doesn't resist. She's in the hallway, and the door slams in her face. She stands there, staring at the door. Her mind is reeling in shock. She tries to recover, and knocks softly on the door.

"Dawn… please, let me in. Please, we gotta talk" Faith calls through the door.

"NO. GO AWAY. I HATE YOU!" Dawn screams through the door. She lowers her voice" You want Buffy? Fine. Take her. She's brain damaged, but who cares. You don't. Take her. I wish you'd take her and go. All of you. This is my house too. I want you gone. LEAVE. Get out. ALL OF YOU. I HATE YOU ALL. GET OUT – GET OUT- GET OUT!!!!!!!"

Faith hears her crying through the door, followed by the sound of things smashing. She starts to knock on the door again, but Dawn interrupts her, almost like she knows she's still there.

"LEAVE. GET OUT" Dawn screams. " I HATE YOU. I WISH YOU WERE DEAD. GET OUT!!!"

Faith stands frozen at the door for a few more moments, every nerve in her body going crazy. Finally, she turns away, slumped and defeated. She walks downstairs…

To her hole.

Tara wonders why she even came along.

For all she's contributed to this little 'outing', she might as well have stayed home. She could've read or something. Certainly, it would've been better than being the 'third wheel' on this get acquainted 'tour'.

I thought it was a good idea at the time Tara thought as yet again Willow was pointing out some 'landmark'

"Over there is the Magic Box" Willow says, brightly, " that's where Tara and I get our magic stuff for spells."

" Right. Magic Box. Magic supplies. Makes sense, " Buffy nodded, looking a little bewildered. " So you guys are really into this

ooglie-booglie stuff, huh?"

Of course, I thought Faith would be coming along. Kinda couple-y. Even bring along Dawnie… she could've used a night out. We all could've. But Faith disappeared downstairs after dinner…then Willow took charge… again!

"Oh yeah, Tara and I are really witches… aren't we, honey?" Willow says, looking around for Tara. Not spotting her, she calls out, " Tara? Where are you, sweetie?".

Tara, who's idly looking into a window while thinking, looks up and hurries to catch up.

" Sorry, just doing some window shopping" Tara smiles. Wonder if she bought that?

" Well, baby, don't go wandering off. Missed you!" Willow says, sweetly, leaning in and kissing Tara." You know I'd be lost without you, Tara". She puts a arm around Tara as they continue walking.

Ok, maybe I was just being jealous. I know she loves me. Tara slips her arm around Willow's waist, and squeezes her a little. Willow turns and smiles. I've got to get this jealousy over Buffy under control. She's just trying to be a good friend… isn't she? Of course she is.

" I was just telling Buffy that the Magic Box is where we get our magic supplies." Willow says, including Tara in the conversation.

" So, ummm… since you guys are witches," Buffy says, " maybe you could find some spell to make me remember things again?"

" W-Well, Buffy" Tara says, a little nervous, " memory spells… to restore memory? Not too much about them. We're trying… but so far, nothing really".

" Oh" Buffy says, sounding disappointed. She goes quiet.

" Don't you worry, Buff" Willow says, shooting Tara a look, " We'll find it. We'll have you A-Ok in no time!"

" R-Right, that's right, Buffy" Tara agrees.

It's that kinda thing. Giving me a look when I've got to say something unpleasant. Tara thinks, Willow wants everything to be perfect. She doesn't want to own up to problems… or mistakes. She still isn't admitting a mistake in the Restoration spell. She blames Xander, or Anya, or me… even Faith sometimes, though she didn't have anything to do with it.

" D-Did you tell her how Mr. Giles owned the shop?" Tara asks Willow.

" That’s right. Giles bought the shop oh… what? A year ago?" Willow checks with Tara for confirmation, which Tara gives, "Guess he got tired of his 'retirement' as your Watcher. He bought it when the former owner, Mr. Bogarty, was killed".

" Killed?" Buffy says, nervously. Not exactly the things she likes to hear about.

" Yes, a gang of vampires robbed the place, and killed him" Willow says, " They were led by Harmony."

" Harmony? They were singing vampires?" Buffy looks puzzled. Anymore, nothing would surprise her.

"No, silly. Harmony. We went to school with her. Sorta snobby… one of the Cordettes… Cordelia's group?" Willow smiles.

" Oh… we went to school with a vampire?" Buffy says. Ok, now that surprises her. " Aren't they kinda… burny under the sun?"

" No… no… she wasn't a vampire then. After… on Graduation Day", Willow says. She sees Buffy's puzzled expression, and says, " I see we've got a lot to cover!".

" Well, you know me" Buffy says, trying to make light of it,ot; ot; Swiss-cheese brain. Full of holes".

" No, no, Buffy" Willow says, trying to reassure her, mistaking the comment, "We'll get there, promise".

" Yeah… ok, " Buffy says, a bit on the ironic side, " So… who was Giles again? A watcher? " Buffy looks puz. &q. " Does that mean I needed watching… or was he a perv?"

Willow and Tara laugh nervously.

" No, Buffy" Willow says, " Giles was your Watcher… from the council. He trained you to be a slayer."

" Trained?" Again, Buffy is confused. " I thought I was born to be the slayer…what was that hokey stuff you told me? "You're the chosen one. The one girl in all the world with the power to fight the forces of Darkness" Hold up. Chosen one? Ummm… isn't Faith a slayer too? Wouldn't that make Chosen Two? Ok, I'm confused, again!" Buffy says.

"Whoa, girl" Willow says, " Giles trains you to be a better slayer. You're born with the potential to be a slayer, but until you're called, you're just normal girl. Now, about Faith…and two slayers? That’s a long, complicated story."

" Buffy was killed for a few minutes while fighting the Master. Kendra was called. Kendra died fighting Drusilla. Faith was called…" Tara says, quietly.

" Or, maybe not" Willow adds, a little consternated.

"Whoa… hold up. I died before… I mean before just recently?" Buffy is getting more lost by the minute, "This is kinda getting to be a bad habit with me!".

" Just for a couple of minutes. Xander resuscitated you." Willow explains, " But it was long enough to call another slayer."

" Ok… I'm kinda burning out here" Buffy says, " I'm kinda at the level now of " Fire burn… Flower pretty". Maybe we could head back home now?" Buffy asks, feeling a little tired, a whole lot confused.

" Oh, " Willow says, looking a little disappointed, " I thought maybe we'd head over to the Bronze for awhile".

" Bronze? We're going to hang out by a statue?" Buffy asks.

" N-No, Buffy" Tara puts in, " It's a nightclub. We all used to hang out there a lot".

" OH" Buffy says, " Got it. Yeah, sounds better than a statue… but not really feeling up to it. Can we kinda do a rain check?" Buffy sees the other women look disappointed. " Hey, why don't you go? I'll just head back home alone". She looks around, and realizes she doesn't know where 'home' is, " ummm… if one of you could just point me in the right direction…"

" No…no…" Willow says," We'll take you home. It's probably best. Slow is best"

"Well, you guys can like, go to the Bronze after. I mean, it's still early, right?" Buffy says, not wanting to be a party poop.

"Naw, it's ok. No big" Willow says, " No real point in going now".

No point? Tara thinks, maybe a little alone time. Just you and me, and no Buffy? Tara sighs Yeah, like that's going to happen.

The three women turn around and head back towards Revello Drive.

The three women start up the walk to the house. The porch light is on, just as they left it. But they see some stuff that wasn't there when they left.

On the porch are a couple of shoulder bags. Also a backpack, and a garment bag. The three women look at each other, puzzled. It’s then that Buffy notices a motorcycle parked in the driveway.

" Isn't that …Faith's bike?" Buffy asks, bewildered. " What's going on?"

Willow and Tara look at each other, then back at Buffy. They shrug.

" Well, I'm gonna find out!" Buffy says, marching to the door and inside. Willow and Tara follow.

They find Faith inside, sitting on the couch. She's dressed in her bike leathers, and her helmet is sitting next to her. When she sees the trio, she stands, picking up her helmet. Her expression is sad, but determined.

" Well, glad you're back. I was waitin' til ya all got back. P-nuts upstairs, studying or asleep. Don't know which, really…" Faith says, but Buffy interrupts her.

When you died, things were kinda unraveling. We weren't doing so well… . Look, you're back now, and you got Red and Tara. They can give ya all you need in way of who you are and stuff. You don't need me for Dawn, or nothin'. I was kidding myself thinking I should stay."

" No! you promised! " Buffy says, firmly. " You said you'd give it some time!"

" B, it's kinda pointless, don't ya see?" Faith says, hating herself for saying this, but knowing it's the only way, " What… what we had is gone. We'll never have that again, and we're kidding ourselves if we think otherwise. Even before, we were kinda skidding for the rocks. You… me… we just never meshed like we shoulda. I never felt like I was really part of your life. Like you needed me. I could get so close, then you'd drop a wall down. I dunno if it had to do with Angel, and what he did to you, or what. But all I know is I always felt like I was outside lookin' in. Somehow, I failed you. I didn't convince you that you could trust me with everything. I can't blame you, it musta been something I did to make you feel that way. We spent 3 years at it. Maybe it just wasn't supposed to be. I dunno. I just know now things are getting worse, not better. So, I'm not gonna hang around to make it worse."

" So typical" Willow says, " That's just you're style Faith. When the going gets tough, Faith goes running".

" Be quiet, Willow" Tara says, quietly, but her tone is firm.

" Huh?" Willow says, "What?"

" I don't think that remark was called for, Willow, " Tara says, quietly, " Faith has stuck by Buffy through a whole lot. You've been snide and rude to her for awhile now, and you know why. I know why. So quit butting in where it's not your business. Frankly, you've been equally, if not MORE the blame why things aren't going well around here. I think it should be us going, not Faith. We're only here because she wanted to let us be part of Dawn's life. She knew you were close to Buffy, and thought it would be good for Dawn to have us around. Buffy asked her to watch out for Dawn, not you. I think that vexed you some. Faith loved Buffy and Dawn enough to include you, as I'm sure Buffy would've, if it hadn't been for all the stuff going on. So, stop being so mean to her," Tara pauses, and turns to Buffy, " Buffy, I think it's time Willow and I find another place to live."

" Tara, thanks, " Faith says, " But Dawn's pretty upset with me, too. Best I go".

"Well, I'm not going anywhere" Willow says, " Someone's gotta stay and make sure Buffy is ok".

" I'm going" Tara says, " whether you go or not, Willow".

"Tara!" Willow says, turning to Tara, " you can't!"

" I can, and I will. I've been watching this whole drama. I've tried to be supportive of your thing with Buffy. I've really tried to understand it. But I at the end of my patience, Willow" Tara says, her voice more sad than angry, " I really love you. I just don't know if you really love me. So, now I'm forcing you to choose, Willow. It's me, or Buffy" Tara pauses, " Choose".

Willow looks trapped. She hates being put in this position, and she blames Faith. But she really has no choice.

" I'm with you, of course, Tara " Willow says," There's no choice on my part. I love you!"

Tara smiles. That's the answer she was hoping for. She only says one word. " Good ". Maybe now, if we get away from Buffy 24x7, Willow won't be so obsessive over her. I hope so!

" I don't want anyone to leave!" Buffy says, worriedly. She turns to Faith, " Why does anyone have to leave?"

" Buffy, this aint only about you" Faith says, " the tension around here's getting sucky. Dawn's feeling it, big time. We gotta think of her needs, too."

"What about my needs?" Dawn says from the stairs. She's standing at the top, looking at the people below.

"Dawn? What're you doing up?" Willow asks, calling up, " Shouldn't you be in bed?"

" I was…I just had to use the bathroom, and I heard you down here. What's going on?" She asks. She notices Faith dressed in her bike leathers, holding her helmet. " What's going on?" She repeats, insistently.

"Faith was getting ready to leave as we walked in, " Buffy says, upset. " Now Willow and Tara are gonna leave!".

"Leave?" Dawn cries, her voice sounding strangled. She runs downstairs, confronting Faith, " You can't leave!".

" You seemed pretty sure you wanted me gone, Dawnie" Faith says.

" I… I was upset, is all. I didn't mean it, any of it!" She says, " you… you can't go!" She turns to the others, " You can't let her go!".

" Dawn, honey" Tara says, " Don't worry. She's not going. Willow and I decided to move out".

" Nooo!" Dawn cries, " You can't. You're family. You're my family! You can't leave me!" She gets panicky, running from one to the other, " You can't leave!".

Faith catches Dawn, holding her still. Dawn struggles a little, then gives up. She looks at all of them like they're abandoning her.

"Dawn?" Faith says, gently, " what you said earlier? You were right. Things are getting out of hand around here. Something's gotta change. Maybe it's best we stick with me leaving. " Faith says, quietly, " She needs you guys more than me". Faith lets go of Dawn. She starts toward the front door. Tara stops her.

"No, Faith. They need you. Both of them, now more than ever. You can't leave them, not like this. Buffy's not ready to do her slayer duties, and Dawn needs a strong, unobsessed…" this last directed towards Willow "… role model. Buffy's not ready to take care of She She needs you."

"There's a lot you don't know about, Tara" Faith says, looking at Dawn. Dawn blushes.

"I know more than you think, Faith, " Tara says, also looking at Dawn. " I'm pretty sure you can work it out. Don't you think so, Dawnie?"

Dawn, not looking up, says, " Yeah". She looks up, directly at Faith, " but you gotta promise to stay!".

Faith looks at Tara, and smiles a knowing grin. She's sometimes amazed at how much this woman can see, when the rest of them seem to be blind as … well, bats. Wonder if Red'll ever figure out how lucky she is?

" Ok, I get ya, Tara. I'll stay" Faith says. She walks over to Dawn, looking into her eyes. " So, P-nut we friends?"

"Yeah," She says. Then she adds, not wanting to make it too easy, " I guess". Like I get a choice.

" Listen up, Faith" Willow says, breaking her silence, " I'll say this one time. I still don’t trust you. I've never really trusted you. I said I'll leave, because Tara wants me too. But I'm gonna be watching you. If anything happens to Buffy or Dawn, I'm going to give you a …."

" Frankly, Willow, after what you did." A voice behind them says, " I'd be very careful about whom you threaten".

Surprised, all of the women in the room turn towards the front door. Standing in the entryway is a middle aged man with thinning brown hair, glasses and a tweed suit. He also has a rather stern expression on his face.

" GILES !!! "

To be continued.
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Timeless Faith

Timeless Faith