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In Dreams I Walk With You	By : QueenB Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Giles Views: 81254 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
The day at the DMP seemed to drag by. She concentrated on her job but her thoughts kept straying. She wondered what her friends were doing, what Giles was doing. Was he thinking about her? Was he going to stay? He hadn’t made any mention of his plans in that area and she’d been afraid to ask him for fear of what he might say.
I’ll ask him after the spell. Once I get all of, well, me, back I’ll know what I really want. I mean, right now all I can think about is Giles. Not that that’s a bad thing. It’s all to the good, actually. But this has got to be about more than being with him. I have to think about my friends and Dawn. No matter what he says, no matter what happens today, I’m not going to neglect them in favor of some cold-blooded vampire. I don’t care what his cheekbones look like.
She smirked at that last thought and resumed the mindless drudgery that was DMP grilling. At last the day came to an end. Buffy grimaced as she yanked her coat over her tired body. She was never going to get used to that processed meat smell. Why did she even smell like this, anyway? The stuff at the DMP was supposed to be vegetable-based. The beef fat couldn’t have made that much of a difference, could it?
Still, look on the bright side. The smell is a known vampire repellant--better than garlic, actually. The vamps ought to be steering clear with a stench like this in the wind.
She picked up her pace and walked briskly towards the Magic Box. Her heart was pounding so much with anticipation that at first she didn’t notice the familiar tingling along her spine.
When she realized who it was, she halted and gritted her teeth. “Come out. I know you’re there.”
Spike walked out from the alley and grinned at her. “Nice to know you haven’t lost your ability to feel me, luv. Must be the connection we’ve got going.”
She shrugged while eyeing him carefully. “Naw, I can pretty much sense all vamps. You just have a unique odor of blood, cheap beer and cigarettes that screams ‘Look, here’s the Billy Idol wannabe wearing a stolen coat that doesn’t fit.’” She batted her eyes at him and then turned her back, abruptly bored with the exchange. She had more important things to do besides talking to him.
He fell into step beside her as she strove to ignore him. The recission spell was up at the Magic Box. He could walk with her to the doorstep but go no farther so she didn’t care if he tailed her all the way. Let him stew outside if that’s what he wanted.
“I saw the Watcher’s back. You and him have a nice little shag? Don’t you think he’s a bit old for you?” The flippant remark did nothing to hide the hurt behind it.
Buffy couldn’t resist the temptation to get in a little dig at Spike’s expense. “What’s it to you, Spike? Jealous because you were replaced?”
Spike snorted and then laughed bitterly. “Replaced? By him? More likely you took up with him to fill the gap.”
Buffy shot back. “Well, that would true if you were the one who dumped me. But I dumped you, remember? For him. You were the one I took up with because I couldn’t be with him. Don’t you recall that I only started sleeping with you after he left? Face it, Spike. You were the rebound guy--like Riley was for Angel.” Buffy flipped her hand back at him and stalked off.
Icy rage settled on the vampire’s face and he ground out, “Don’t turn your back on me, Slayer!” Buffy heard the ugly note in his voice and swung around to face him. She was too late as the vampire pulled out the cattle prod he’d hidden under his long coat and zapped her with it.
Catching her limp body before she hit the pavement, he cradled her tenderly. “Buffy, you’re mine. No one’s going to come in between us. Certainly not some bastard Watcher who ran away when I stayed for you.”
He settled her over his shoulder and ran off towards his destination. It wasn’t his crypt but he couldn’t take a chance the others might find and disturb them. He needed the better part of the night to carry out his plan.
__________
“So where is she? She left work at the usual time, didn’t she?” Giles paced up and down, frantic with worry. Buffy hadn’t shown and he knew that something had happened. Xander, Willow, Anya and Dawn were equally agitated. This was important to Buffy. She wouldn’t just disappear like this.
“I bet Spike has her. It’s just got to be him,” Dawn muttered. The others silently agreed but they didn’t know what it could mean.
Xander asked, “Spike wouldn’t hurt Buffy, would he? I mean, he keeps going on and on about how much in love he is with her. He wouldn’t--he wouldn’t….” His voice trailed away miserably as his eyes rested on Giles’s face.
“Xander, I saw Spike last night. He appeared less than glad to see me.”
Dawn’s eyes widened. “Oh god. Do you think he knows you and Buffy are together?”
Xander’s jaw dropped as he squeaked, “Together? You--and Buffy?”
Giles gave Dawn a look of mild reproof. “Thank you, Dawn, for spilling that bit of news. I was going to wait until Buffy was cured of whatever is bothering her before I told the others.”
Dawn smiled feebly back at him. Shoot, how was she supposed to know it was a secret? “Sorry. I just thought Buffy would have told all of you before she told me. That’s what she usually does.”
Anya threw her arms around Giles. “Congratulations, Giles. It must be very convenient having the girl you’ve trained fall in love with you. Now you don’t have to go looking elsewhere for orgasms. The next time you and Buffy get all hot and sweaty from training, you can just relieve the stress by--”
Giles gritted, “Anya, could you focus for a moment on Buffy’s disappearance? She may be in terrible danger.”
Tara came out of the back room. “Okay, I’ve got the circle set up. You three need to take your places.” She paused as she took in everyone’s bemused looks. They all looked embarrassed except for Anya who was wearing a smug smile on her face. “Umm, guys? What’s going on?”
Anya walked to the training room as the others marched in behind her. “We were just congratulating Giles on his romance with Buffy. I guess he’s going to be giving her orgasms now instead of Spike.”
The Watcher huffed and glared at the ex-demon’s back. “Actually, I was hoping to give her something more substantial than meaningless sex. Unless that’s the sole basis of your relationship with Xander.”
Anya scowled at him. “It is not all I get from Xander. He’s got a good job and a really nice smile and he makes me feel happy. There’s more to our love than the sex.”
Willow muttered, “Really? Wouldn’t have guessed it from the way you talk.”
The ex-demon tossed her head. “Well, at least I’m getting sex. You haven’t had any since you broke up with Tara, have you?”
“So it is about the sex between you and Xander. Thought so. Tara, is everything in place?” Willow was determined not to bother with Anya any more. She had Buffy to think about.
The last time they’d performed this spell, they hadn’t needed to be in the same room with Buffy. They hadn’t even needed to know where she was. The energies had just naturally taken them to her aid. The same thing would happen now, if all went well.
__________
Giles, Xander and Willow seated themselves inside the pentagram. It was large enough to hold them and yet keep them within touching distance of each other. Dawn walked around carefully lighting the candles in the correct order as Tara supervised.
The blonde wiccan held up the sheet of paper and carefully intoned, “The power of the Slayer and all who wield it. Last to ancient first, we invoke thee. Grant us thy domain and primal strength. Accept us in the powers we possess. Make us mind and heart and spirit join so that she may know wholeness in the depths of her soul. Let the hand encompass us. Do thy will.”
Willow laid down the tarot card. This was magic and part of her screamed at the thought of being pulled down this dangerous path again. But she was merely going to take a journey through Buffy’s mind along with the others. She would be helplessly pulled into that vortex; it would be Tara doing the spellcasting and Tara seeing that they came out of it with their psyches intact. She steadied her breathing and calmed her mind.
“Spiritus…Spirit,” Willow said.
“Animus…Heart,” Xander followed, laying down his card.
“Sophus…Mind,” was Giles’ finishing response as he placed his.
“And Manus…the Hand,” Willow finished, presenting a card showing an open hand. “We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel--the hand…daughter of Sineya…first of the ones…we implore thee. Admit us. Bring us to the vessel. Take us now.”
Giles looked around in bewilderment. He was in the desert again.
He saw Willow and Xander standing next to him looking equally at a loss. “Okay, G-man. Where are we? Did we take a wrong turn somewhere and miss the yellow brick road?”
“This is the desert. I saw it in a dream I shared with Buffy. I recognize that massive rock formation,” pointing off to their right. Then he felt it--the cold prickling of another presence. Someone was near, watching them, with palpable animosity oozing from every pore. “Xander. Willow. Do you feel that? We’re not alone.”
The other two scanned the surrounding area closely. Willow murmured, “There is something. A presence. Do you think it’s Buffy?”
Xander shook his head as he glanced about nervously. “Uh uh. This doesn’t feel anything like Buffy unless she’s super pissed at us. Then again, maybe she is, because of that whole yanking-me-out-of-Heaven deal.”
Willow raised her voice, “Buffy? Is that you? We’re here to help, remember? Where are you?” She screamed as two hands shot out of the desert sand and gripped her ankles. They began tugging her inexorably downwards even as the two males with her grabbed at her arms.
Willow screamed, “Help me!”
Xander yelled as he tried to get a better grip on his friend. “Giles! What is it?”
The watcher grunted as he tugged at Willow. “The First Slayer, it has to be. She’s fighting us again.”
“God, what is her problem? Didn’t she get enough love as a child or something?” Xander exclaimed in exasperation even as he wondered what he could use to release the woman’s unyielding grip and wished he had a knife.
To his astonishment, one appeared in his hand. It had a bone handle and a silver blade glinting in the sunlight. “Cool!” He slashed down at the grasping wrists and a muted howl made its way up from the earth.
As suddenly as they appeared, the hands disappeared and the three were left huddled on the ground. Giles blinked at the weapon in Xander’s hand. “Xander, goodness…where did you get that?”
Xander looked down at the blade and shrugged. “I dunno. Just wished for a weapon and this appeared. It was great, though.”
“Quite. If we’re able to manifest our wishes in this dreamscape, we might not be as helpless as we thought.”
Willow picked herself up and dusted her clothes off. “That’s a plus. So where do we go now?”
Giles grasped their hands. “Take us to the source of Buffy’s pain.”
There was an abrupt, well, twisting of the landscape, for want of a better word. Then they found themselves at the top of a tower. Glory’s tower. Buffy was poised there in the long dark dress they had buried her in. She stood near the edge of the platform as she cast her eyes downwards.
Giles tried to move towards her but found he was fastened firmly to the steel pipes behind her. He saw that Willow and Xander were similarly bound and their mouths covered over with tape. Buffy stepped nearer the edge and the Watcher realized she meant to throw herself off again.
He concentrated and imagined the tape and restraints gone. He could feel them dissolving and loosening; in moments he was free. He stepped towards her. “Buffy? Can you hear me?”
The woman didn’t move but he could hear her quiet words drift back to him on the wind. “Is this hell?”
“What? No, of course not. Buffy, I want you to lis--” He staggered as a sharp blow hit him between the shoulderblades. He fell onto the steel beam as the force of the blow jarred him from his head all the way down to his legs. He clutched the girder and craned his head back to look at his assailant.
The First Slayer stood above him. She was crouched in a fighting pose, her knife at the ready. She wasn’t looking at Buffy, though. Her painted face was directed at him, her teeth bared as if preparing to bite. “You…be…still!”
“Damn it to blazes, woman! Haven’t we been through this?” He struggled to sit up only to have her flip him over, plop down on his chest and hold the blade to his throat. He lay still and tried to breathe without pressing his throat too much against the sharpened edge. He couldn’t force this woman; she was too strong.
I can defeat you with my intellect. I can cripple you with my thoughts. Of course, you underestimate me. You couldn’t know. You never had a Watcher.
With the remembered words came a startling clarity of vision. Understanding of his role settled within him. This was what he was meant to do. He made his body go absolutely limp so as to present no threat to the primeval woman squatting above him.
“Young woman, hear me. Buffy--that woman teetering on the edge of life and death--is more than a mere Slayer. If she has survived to fight the forces of darkness, it is not merely because of fighting skill alone but because of her friends. Those people behind her.” He tilted his head towards the two bound behind her. She didn’t look in the direction indicated; she was too canny for that. But she was listening. He just didn’t know how much sense he was making to her primitive mind.
“If you separate us from her, she will die. She will plunge to her death and the evil wins. She is in its grip right now and she needs our help!” Giles wasn’t sure if that was absolutely true but he had to play on this creature’s worst fears if he was to succeed. Her mental control was fraying; he could sense that much. In the corner of his eye, he saw Willow tugging free of her restraints and peeling the tape off her mouth.
She lifted her hand, probably to blast the woman off the girder, and Giles tensed ever so slightly. With his eyes he tried to signal to Willow not to attempt to use witchcraft here in Buffy’s mind. There was no telling what irreparable damage might be done.
Unfortunately, the primitive woman on top of him sensed his fear. She whirled around hissing and flew at the freed witch. Willow screamed and Buffy turned around. She was clearly mystified by the tableau that greeted her as she turned to face her friends. “Willow? What’s going on? Why are you guys here?”
The First Slayer swiveled at the sound of her voice and growled at her. Giles extended his hands in a placating gesture as his voice continued to roll soothingly over the savage.
“We are her strength just as you are. We are no threat to you. We want you to be here but you must allow us our place. She needs us just as surely as she needs you. Without us she would be dead. Without us she will surely die.”
Willow raised her hand again and pointed into the air by their side. “Revele,” she cried and the air began to ripple.
A circle of air seemed to shimmer as an image took shape within it. A small blonde woman was lying still and unmoving on a floor covered in debris. The Buffy on the tower stared at it and then without another word leapt into the circle.
“Buffy!” Giles cried.
__________
Buffy woke up slowly and she knew right away that wasn’t good. Her body ached all over, especially her stomach. That’s where the bastard tasered me. Where…?
She cast her eyes around the space she was inhabiting. Her vision was strangely blurred and she had trouble making out details. The floor was covered with broken cement, tiles and dust and the ceiling appeared to have a huge hole in it, the ends of the floor hanging down into the room.
Abruptly she realized where she was and a cold tremor ran down her back. This was it; she was in the fallen-down building where she’d first had sex with Spike. A panicky glance down her body informed her that she was still dressed and there was no sign of Giles. Not like my dream. Not yet, anyway.
But as she tried to move she felt restraints binding her wrists and legs. Twisting her head around, she could make out what looked like metal shackles around her wrists that were fastened to similar ones around her ankles. She tried tugging at them but could make no headway at all.
“You’re awake. Finally. Thought you were going to sleep the night away.” She saw Spike’s boots cross her line of vision. He crouched before her and laid down a small tray. She could see a pile of sandwiches--baloney and cheese by the smell of them--as well as a glass of apple juice. “Here you go, luv. You must be tired of all that crap they give you at the DMP.”
“Spike, what the hell do you think you’re playing at? Let me up and I won’t kick your ass too badly.”
The vamp acted as if he hadn’t heard her as he brought up a sandwich to her mouth. “Eat up, pet. You’re going to be wanting something more substantial in a little while. Thought you might enjoy one last human meal before it happens.”
“Before what happens?” Buffy was getting more scared by the moment and she knew that Spike would smell it.
Sure enough, he flashed an empty grin and waved the sandwich in front of her nose. “Well, it’s simple, luv. I’m going to turn you. You’re going to be my vampire childe and then we’re going after those friends of yours. You can kill Xander and Giles; might want to turn the witches, though. It’d be a good idea to have powerful girls like that on our team.”
“Team? You’re crazy if you think they’ll let something like that happen. Once they know that I’m missing, they’ll know you’re responsible and they’ll kill you--if I don’t do it first.”
Spike shrugged “Maybe, maybe not. I’m not scared of them. But I’m betting they won’t be able to take on a vampire Slayer. Or should I say a Slayer vampire?” He grinned at his own joke and started munching on the sandwich when it was clear she wasn’t going to eat.
Buffy cast about in her mind for something to say, anything to delay him from what he planned. “If that’s what you wanted, why didn’t you do it while I was unconscious?”
He rolled his eyes as if the answer were obvious. “Turning requires a blood exchange, luv. You need to be conscious to take my blood if this is going to work.”
The vampire licked his fingers and then his features morphed into the familiar vampire ridges. “Baloney and cheese. Nice appetizer. Now let’s see if Slayer blood tastes as good as I remember.” He grasped her head and lowered his fangs towards her throat.
Buffy wriggled in terror as she tried to get away from him but his grip was too strong and she was still weak from the taser blast. As his face drew nearer, she shut her eyes—
--And saw a short blond walking into the library at Sunnydale High. Goodness, she’s small. How can someone that small be a Slayer? Well, it’s up to me to make up for any shortcomings. Ha, made a little funny.
She called out, “Is anybody here?” She came from behind and tapped the girl on the shoulder. The blonde teenager swung around and Buffy stared into her own startled face. “Anybody’s here.”
“Can I help you?” Buffy heard her own voice reply. Only it wasn’t her voice. It was a man’s voice with a cultured English accent. She was watching the small blonde student go up to the desk.
The librarian said, “I know exactly what you need.”
Wait, I remember. This--this is my first day at Sunnydale High School. I’m-I’m in Giles’s body! The insight swept over her as Buffy saw his hands slap down a huge book with Vampyr on the cover. She felt the man’s eagerness to be with his charge, his determination not to fail in his task, his puzzlement and dismay as the petite blonde in front of him shrank away and rejected the book and himself.
Was it me? Was it something I said? How do I get her back? I can’t fail my first time out as a Watcher. The world needs her help!
Then she saw herself kneeling in the hallway, picking up her fallen books. Hey, there’s the new girl I saw this morning. She’s a hottie. I mean, wow. Better than Cordelia even. She looks lost. I’ll just go to her rescue.
“Hi! Can I have you?” Realizing his mistake, he floundered, “I mean, can I help you?” Man alive, Xander Harris, you have got to be the biggest dork on the face of the planet!
Buffy could feel his intense insecurity, his good humor and his raging hard-on. Ack! Oh god, I knew Xander always had sex on the brain back then but that was kinda gross.
A part of Buffy’s mind that was still under her conscious control knew what was happening. This was the spell, the spell the others were casting. But she didn’t feel the First Slayer…she was sharing her friends’s memories, experiencing their feelings and reliving their old adventures. At the realization, she experienced complete dismay. This wasn’t going to help her get out of her current situation and she strove to separate herself from the onslaught of images and emotions coming her way.
She sat disconsolate on a school bench, still smarting from her earlier run-in with Cordelia. She jumped like a frightened rabbit when the new girl came up to her. “Hi. Willow, right?”
“Why?” she blurted out. “I mean, hi. You want me to move?” Gosh, she wants to sit next to me? I don’t--this is some sort of cruel joke. Miss Queen of Mean put her up to it and any moment she’s gonna shoot me down with some nasty crack about my clothes. The new girl sat next to Willow and she listened as Cordelia’s would-be new friend asked for help with homework.
Buffy sensed Willow’s relief that the request was sincerely meant. Damn, Willow had been even more loaded with insecurity than Xander.
But she could feel the girl’s innate goodness and kindness radiating inside her. Instinctively, Buffy tried to hold onto this feeling even as the spell yanked her from it again.
There she was at the Bronze, kissing Angel, while Willow watched and Xander tried not to watch. Great, it’s him again. What does he want? What does Buffy see in him anyway? He’s a vampire, for cryin’ out loud! Oh sure, he’s tall, dark, muscular and sexy in a--totally obvious, tall, dark, muscular kind of way. But hey, I can be muscular, too. Just give me a few years! And did I just think of Angel as sexy?!?!
Willow was equally appreciative. Angel really is cute. I can totally see why Buffy goes for him. It’s too bad Xander’s jealous. But now he knows what I feel like whenever he looks at every other girl except me.
Stunned disbelief and shock as he saw Jenny’s body laid out on the bed. For a moment that was all he could feel and then the grief came sweeping in. The storm of emotions buffeted his mind as he reached out tentatively towards the body that had been carefully arranged on the mattress. The woman’s eyes were closed and the corpse stretched out in a parody of seduction that completely belied the violence by which she’d died.
Angelus. He did this. He killed her and left her here for me to find. The hatred that followed the thought was so bitter Buffy thought she’d choke from it. This was what Giles had seen, what he went through. And during that time all she could think about was getting Angel back.
Xander couldn’t believe what kind of trouble he was in. Here he was playing wheelman to a bunch of criminally-minded zombies--and all because he thought getting a car would make him cool! Geez, he was a dumbass! He wrinkled his nose at the smell. Shit, these guys are ripe! Well, that’s what you get when you ride with the peeling undead. That stench is never coming out. Uncle Rory’s gonna be pissed.
He listened in confusion as Dicky kept babbling about “baking a cake.” The bizarre suggestion was seconded by the leader Jack and all the zombies howled. But when the situation turned ugly, Xander ditched the Dead Squad, jumped into Uncle Rory’s ‘57 Chevy Bel Aire and tore off.
Poor Xander. He got caught up with those guys because we were making him feel useless. We kept brushing him off so he decided to go dancing with wolves.
Buffy cringed as she was forced to relive his first sexual bout with Faith, the psycho Slayer. Xander like a lot of teenaged boys had often fantasized about what losing his virginity would be like and Faith was certainly…as aggressive and willing as any hormonal teen could have wanted. But he had hoped for some tenderness, some sweetness, with the act. The rough commands, the take-charge way Faith had commandeered his body without consideration and the abrupt dismissal when she tossed him half naked out of her motel room afterwards left him both confused and kinda depressed. Wow. So that’s sex, huh? It was so…over.
He wasn’t unhappy, exactly. He’d had sex and lost his cherry; this would definitely be the highpoint of his night. But it had been so quick and Faith wouldn’t cuddle afterwards or even let him hold her. He’d thought girls liked that kind of attention and she’d just thrown him out.
Buffy knew what Xander was feeling even if he didn’t understand it: shame. Damn, she understood only too well what that was like. Why didn’t he ever tell us--tell me--what it had been like? I might have told him about Spike. If anyone would have understood, it would have been Xander. I could have trusted him.
But the discovery of the bomb supplies in the backseat of the car dispelled any clouds of Xander mope. “Okay, bombs. Already dead guys with bombs. Oh man, I’m out of my league. Buffy will know what to do.” She’d kick their asses, that’s what, while I’d be screaming and tripping over my own feet by running away. So what the hell am I doing? Saving the world and making it a better place for jelly donuts everywhere?
But Xander had figured it out. While they had been fighting the demons, Xander had forced the bomb’s location out of one of the zombie thugs and faced down Jack in the basement with seconds ticking away on the explosive. That’s what Xander did? How come he never told me? He saved the school--and I never knew.
Abruptly Xander was sitting on a hospital bench, his hands tightly clenched in front of him. It’s just the flu. It’s just a fever. She’ll be all right. She’s the Slayer; she’s got super healing or something. She’ll bounce right back from this and be as right as--oh shit.
It was Angelus. He had walked into the hospital holding flowers. Xander stood up, mustering courage he most certainly didn’t feel. “Visiting hours are over.”
Angelus waved the flowers. “Well, I’m pretty much family.”
Still maintaining a brave front, Xander retorted, “Why don’t you come back during the day? Oh wait, I guess you can’t.”
Angelus smirked as if he couldn’t believe this boy was challenging him. “If I decided to walk into Buffy’s room, do you think for one microsecond that you could stop me?”
“Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn’t either. Or those cops. Or the orderlies. But I’m kinda curious to find out. You game?” No! No! No! Harris, are you crazy?! You are not challenging the Scourge of Europe! What are you going to do--meet his fist with your face?
She could feel the sheer terror inside Xander even as steely courage seemed to surge up from nowhere. He loved Buffy. In spite of his thing with Cordelia, whatever that was, he loved the Slayer and he was willing to lay down his life for her.
Something crawled into Angelus’s eyes then beside the easy contempt: a sign of grudging respect that was swiftly replaced by amusement. “Buffy’s white knight. You still love her. It must just eat you up that I got there first.”
He faced Angelus while I was sick in the hospital. I didn’t--what was Xander thinking? He could have been killed. How come I didn’t know about any of this? Xander was her white knight. She’d never realized just how loyal and brave he was. Well, she knew, but she hadn’t known the full extent of his devotion to her. She wanted to linger in this moment but again she was somewhere else.
Faith was facing her in the Mayor’s office. “Oh yeah, give me the speech again. ‘Faith, we’re still your friends. We can help you. It’s not too late.’”
“It’s way too late.” The flat statement took the dark-haired Slayer by surprise as she stared at the redheaded girl standing defiantly in front of her.
Willow felt nothing but cold disdainful anger as she faced down this woman capable of breaking her neck with one blow. “You know, it didn’t have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life, I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boohoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. You had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you’re nothing. You’re just a big selfish worthless waste.”
Faith socked her hard in the jaw and knocked her onto the floor. Willow picked herself up, resisting the urge to rub her jaw. OWWWW! Damn, that really hurt!
The other Slayer glared at her. “You hurt me, I hurt you. I’m just a little more efficient.”
“And here I thought you just didn’t have a comeback,” Willow retorted. “I’m not afraid of you.” Yay! That’s what Buffy would say. Screw Faith and her bad-girl attitude. Go me! Okay, so she’s probably gonna kill me horribly now but go me!
Go, Willow. Gee, she was a lot spunkier than anyone had thought when she took on Faith. She had even less in the way of physical strength than Xander did and stood up to someone a lot crazier and stronger than Angelus. The Slayer wondered if Willow could feel Buffy’s pride in her strength and bravery.
Pain. There was pain everywhere. His mind shrank from the agony throbbing in different places along his body. Giles was bound hand and foot in a chair and he could feel the physical torment blooming from his jaw on down to his chest and knees. Mustn’t tell him…he mustn’t know. Acathla…the world’s at stake. I have to hold on. Buffy…Buffy will be here soon. Must keep quiet until…
The pain was immense but he struggled to distance herself from it. He had learned much in the way of meditative techniques. He knew ways of pulling his mind away from the confines of the flesh. But nothing he’d learned had prepared him for such anguish as this.
Angelus was pacing up and down while Spike sat behind him in a wheelchair. Giles had resisted his efforts so far but Angelus’s admiration for his stamina was wearing thin. He was idly discussing using chainsaws to get the Watcher to talk when Spike suggested that Drusilla might be allowed to try her own special form of voodoo.
The brunette vampiress approached and Buffy sensed fear welling up in Giles’s mind. He’d read the Watcher’s Diaries; he knew what Drusilla was capable of. What she lacked in sanity and the strength of other vampires, she made up for with formidable mental abilities that made Uri Geller look like a carnival fake. She grasped his face and began intoning in a singsong voice and, before his eyes, the face of Jenny Calendar took shape.
Buffy felt Giles’s attempts to free his mind and resist the onslaught battering at his psychological defenses. Then the joy at the thought that his beloved Jenny had come back to him. The secret for the ritual came faltering out of his mouth moments before the vampire pressed her cold lips to his.
There was Xander coming to rescue Giles while Buffy fought elsewhere. Giles wanted nothing more than to stay with his charge but his battered body wouldn’t allow it. They did what they always did--provided backup when she needed it and then retreated to the sidelines while the Slayer fought her worst battles.
“Willow said…Willow said to kick his ass.” She doesn’t need to know Willow’s casting the soul restoration spell. Forget about Angel and his damn soul. If she learns about that, she’ll stall and delay and the world will go to hell. Literally. She won’t be able to do what needs to be done if she thinks Angel’s going to be all Soulboy again. That’s right, Harris, tell yourself this has got nothing to do with revenge and jealousy.
Buffy was stunned as those thoughts played out in her mind. Xander had lied to her. He had lied and she had sent her beloved to hell. Fury and grief raged through her mind as she remembered what Angel had been like on his return--mute and savage after hundreds of years spent suffering in purgatory. Xander was responsible for that. I knew he was jealous, but he lied to me!
The next moment she tried to understand, to put perspective on events over three years old. He was right, though. I would have hesitated, I would have put Angel’s safety first because I kept holding onto the hope of his coming back. That’s what I did when he tricked me into fighting him while his minions attacked my friends and put Willow in the hospital. Willow was all for a happy ending with Angel and me but Xander knew a sacrifice had to be made and Angel was it. He may have hated Angel but he was thinking of the whole world when he lied to me. I can’t--I won’t hate him for it.
With that thought came a strange lightening of the heart. It was as if resentment she hadn’t even known was there disappeared.
Somehow she had known all along that Xander had tricked her. “Kick his ass” weren’t words that Willow--the old Willow, anyway--would have used. But she had been in a hurry and hadn’t taken time to question him. Like Xander, she had been too busy trying to save the world to worry about the implications to her former lover. It had been easier to carry around bitterness against one of her oldest friends rather than face her own inner knowledge.
She wanted to run from the self-revelation but there was nowhere to go. She was transported again and heard Quentin Travers firing Giles. Go ahead and fire me, you poncy git. I had to tell Buffy. I couldn’t let her die for the sake of some antiquated trial those cold-blooded bastards of the Watcher’s Council would perpetuate. And I succeeded! I won’t regret that. I won’t regret losing my job to save the woman I love.
Buffy reeled from that. Giles loved her even back then? How--and how could he have hidden it for so long? She burrowed deeper into his thoughts and it was all there: the hurt following her rejection on her first day of school, exasperation at her willfulness and insistence on doing things her own way, reluctant acceptance of her friends into their circle, the growing admiration of her strength, beauty, courage, compassion and body. Giles’ sexual imagination was much more graphic and varied than Xander’s. She would have blushed if she’d been able. Guess that’s what comes with age and experience.
Ben was lying on the ground, gasping and coughing as he struggled to breathe. Giles knelt beside him, his scrutiny one of distant regard as if the young man were of no real consequence. “Can you move?” he said softly.
The young man nodded. “She-she could have killed me,” he choked out.
Giles shook his head. “No, she couldn’t. Never. Sooner or later Glory would re-emerge and make Buffy pay for that mercy and the world with her. Buffy even knows that and still she couldn’t take a human life. She’s a hero, you see. She’s not like us.”
“Us?” the mortal half of Glory whispered. He didn’t understand and that was for the best. The Watcher’s hand shot out and clamped itself firmly over his nose and mouth. Ben’s eyes widened and he clawed at the Watcher’s hand as he tried to get air into his lungs.
But his body had taken a tremendous beating and his strength was gone. His exertions grew weaker by the second and finally ceased. The impassive distant expression on the Watcher’s face didn’t change at all as the light slowly faded out of Ben’s eyes.
No. Oh no. Giles. He did this; he had to murder somebody because I was so bent on saving Dawn. He had to clean up my mess just like the others did when I ran off after I sent Angel to hell.
As if the regret had summoned up the memory, she saw the others as they desperately searched for her that bleak summer. In Xander’s and Willow’s minds lay the dread fear that Buffy was dead or that Angelus had managed to pull her down to hell with him. But Giles hadn’t given up. He had spent days in a hospital bed recuperating from the torture inflicted on his body. Cuts, slashes, burns, bruised ribs and broken fingers: the doctor’s had pronounced him lucky that the mug had hadn’t broken any major bones.
But after his recovery he had scoured the town for her. He had posted notices in the local and non-local papers about her disappearance. He hadn’t given up hope. It was as if he had known one way or another that she had to be alive.
More and more memories went spinning through her, too fast for her to keep up. She shared her friends’s joys, defeats, petty squabbles and major victories. They had been there for her right from the beginning. They were there for her now.
__________
Spike didn’t understand what was happening. One moment the Slayer had been reeking of fear so strong he could smell it. Seconds later the fear had disappeared completely as her eyes fluttered shut. Slaps to her face and sharp comments had elicited no response from her. If it hadn’t been for her breathing and heartbeat, he would have assumed she was dead.
A weird tingling sensation buzzed along his skin and his eyes narrowed. There was magic at work; he could discern it in the air. He growled and lunged forward again--just as her eyes snapped open and she casually popped her bonds as if they were ropes of string.
“Demon.” The word was said calmly as if in identification and he saw her eyes, yellow as his, glowing like miniature stars, as she stood up. She met his attack with a flick of her wrist and he went flying across the room to crash into the wall.
“Shit!” He had lost the advantage during his moment of hesitation and he wondered how he would get it back. Whatever was happening to her was temporary, he was sure of that; he’d retreat, regroup and stage another assault. As if reading his mind, she charged after him and grabbed him by his hair. She gave a spinning pull and he went somersaulting through the air to land hard on his back.
Spike yelped and brought his hand up to his head. He drew it down when his fingers encountered wetness and he saw blood coating his fingertips. When he glanced up he saw a tuft of shiny bleached hair floating off her fingers. Fuck! First a tooth and now my hair! I ain’t standing for this. This bitch is getting what’s coming to her.
His earlier resolution to run forgotten, he aimed one violent blow after another at the Slayer but she took them easily. She accepted smashes to the face and body as if she were swatting off flies. But her blows were much more punishing. Gone was the witty banter. She was grimly focused on her task and he realized that this was serious. She meant to kill him.
“Too bad you forgot your stakes, eh, Slayer? Can’t do the trick without proper tools, can ya?” He kicked out at her but she grabbed his leg and flipped him onto the ground. Before he could get up, she jumped down straddling his torso and started squeezing his neck.
“I think…you’re…wasting your time…pet. Vampire, remember? Don’t…need to…breathe,” he wheezed.
Buffy’s grip tightened until his eyes bulged. “It’s not your throat I’m after, demon.” With a sudden twist, she wrenched his head off his shoulders and watched as that surprised face crumbled into dust between her hands.
She sat there stolidly until the rush of the magic left her. Then she collapsed onto the rubble. She was still conscious but the past few moments had taken a lot out of her.
Buffy stayed motionless for a moment and then pulled herself up with a sigh. No point in staying here; the rough floor would only give her a crick in her back.
As she stretched, Buffy staggered again from the weight of her memories. She could still feel Xander, Willow and Giles in her mind, or at least a kind of aftertaste. Was that the right word? She’d have to ask Giles.
Buffy grinned to herself and without another glance at the new dust covering the floor made her way out of the ruins.
__________
Tara watched anxiously as the three still bodies on the floor began to stir. Xander was the first to speak. “Man, that was even better the second time around. Do you think it worked?”
Willow blinked and locked gazes with Giles. “Yup. I’m sure of it. If it didn’t, I think we’d all still be on that tower or maybe we would have felt it if she weren’t okay.”
Dawn was antsy, too. “So now what? Do we go looking for her or what?”
Giles blew out the candles and began removing them from the floor. “I saw the place where she was being held but not enough to get any idea as to her general location. If she’s all right, we’ll know soon enough.”
“And if she isn’t? She was with Spike, wasn’t she? I couldn’t get anything on that portal thingy Willow opened except the visual but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t about to give her a hickey. Should we be preparing for a vamp Buffy?” Xander wasn’t the only one feeling concern; what would they do if the Slayer became a vampire?
“If that possibility arises, Xander, I assure you we will all deal with it. We have strong allies on our side and a magic shop that’s been enchanted against vampires. But let’s not assume the worst until it actually happens.”
“And what would the worst be? Double shifts at the DMP?” The familiar sunny voice came from the doorway and they all turned to see Buffy, slightly dusty but only a little the worse for wear, standing there looking at them.
Dawn flew over to her and hugged her sister. “Buffy! You’re okay! Xander just said he saw you with Spike. What happened? I couldn’t see any of that ‘cause I was on the outside.”
“Yeah, I was with Spike. He wanted to turn me and send me after you guys. Not particularly original but I’ll give him points for balls. Not many vampires get that close to turning a Slayer, I’m betting.”
“So what happened to him, Buff? Not that we care about him, mind you, we just want to be sure we don’t have to keep looking over our shoulders for the dyed menace.”
“I took care of him, Xander. He had a dusty ending.”
Dawn looked searchingly into Buffy’s face as she tried to guess her sister’s thoughts. “What about you, Buffy? Are you okay now?”
Buffy let her eyes drift over her friends. Here in one room were all the people who meant the most to her in her life. She looked them all in the face…and smiled. “Oh yeah, I’m all right. One Buffy present and accounted for in the House of Summers.” She grinned at Dawn and then asked, “Dawn, did you do your homework tonight?”
The young Summers girl sputtered, “What? You get your Buffy mojo back and you’re asking about homework? I was too worried about the First Slayer trying to cut out Giles’s brain and Xander’s heart to worry about math. And I can’t believe I just mentioned organ removal in the same sentence as algebra. Can I say eeeeewwwww?”
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then. C’mon, young lady, march. You are going back home and doing that schoolwork.” Buffy led her protesting sister out the door as the other Scoobies gratefully departed to their separate destinations.
Buffy paused outside the Magic Box as Giles came trailing after her. “Well.”
“Well. I’m very glad you’re all right, Buffy. I was terribly anxious about you.”
She whispered, “Yes, I know. I felt you.”
Giles gazed on that sweet face for a moment. “You did? I wasn’t sure about that. After the dream version of yourself jumped into that portal, I had to do some fast talking to convince the First to let us come after you. Even then, I wasn’t quite certain whether it did the trick.”
“It certainly did. Thank you, Rupert.” He smiled at the mention of his name and saw that Buffy was standing a lot closer to him than before. “I wanted to know….” She swallowed and continued when he made no attempt to interrupt. “Are-are you staying? Now that I’m…back, that is.”
“You are, indeed, back as you put it. You don’t need a Watcher any longer.”
Buffy twined one arm around his back and his pulse began to race from her nearness. “You’re right. I don’t need a Watcher. But I do love you. You, Mr. Rupert Giles, with all the eyeglass-polishing, tea-sipping, too-much-syrup-on-your-pancakes pouring that goes with it. So…are you staying?”
Anya called back. “Of course he’s staying! Now will you two get home and stop making out in the street. Xander keeps spying on you and I want to get home--”
“To make some orgasms, yes, we know, Anya! Go home to your bloody orgasms and shut up!” Giles glared at her and Anya gaped until Xander dragged her off.
Buffy snickered, giggled and finally burst out laughing. “Wow, Rupert, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Anya speechless. Way to go, Watcher mine.” Her words were cut off as Giles grabbed her and bent her backward in a searing kiss. She flung her arms around him to catch her balance and closed her eyes, letting the heat sweep all the way through her body.
“Ahem. Are we ever getting home or should I just go sleep in the Magic Box tonight?” Dawn sounded impatient but she looked deliriously happy.
Buffy and Giles reluctantly let go of each other. “I guess we’re all going home.”
“Buffy, I-we’ll talk tomorrow. You, Dawn and I. Will you meet me at the hotel?” Buffy nodded though she was missing him already.
As she saw Giles headed towards the car, Dawn began a nonstop commentary. “Wow, Buffy that was some kiss. He kissed you before, didn’t he? Is that what you two were doing at the hotel? I just knew you couldn’t have spent the whole day talking. Are you going to tell me?”
“Dawn, that’s none of your business. Don’t you get enough of sex talk from Anya?”
“Oh, so there was sex involved! I knew it! Buffy, tell me!”
Buffy rolled her eyes and walked with Wills shs she tuned out her sister’s persistent questions. She abruptly hugged Willow and whispered, “Thanks.”
The startled redhead asked, “What was that for?”
Buffy smiled and flung out her arms. “For giving me the world again.”
Willow looked down at the ground and Buffy knew what was on her mind. “It’s okay, Willow. Like Giles said, what’s done is done. For the first time, I’m not sorry. I’ve got my friends back. I’ve got Dawn. And I’ve got Rupert.”
“And that’s enough?”
Buffy wound her arm around Willow’s waist. “It’s better than enough.” She pulled the ex-wiccan aside and lowered her voice. “And as a reward, you get to have vicarious smoochies.” Willow smothered her squeal and tried to look uncaring as they drove home.
Buffy smiled to herself. She had once again destroyed a master vampire and, as Dawn had so eloquently put it, gotten her mojo back. The demon population of Sunnydale had better look out.
The Slayer and her Watcher were back in business.

Finis
- 7
- 8
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In Dreams I Walk With You