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Timeless Faith	By : norwalker Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3106 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
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- 8
Timeless Faith

By Norwalker

Part 7 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of Faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: There is always the possibility of major character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an Alternate Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don’t give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

Tara pauses by the door to her and Willow's room. She's tired and cranky from this evening's(goddess, it's morning!) emotional roller coaster. Now she has to deal with Willow. She clenches her jaw, as she's wont to do in these kinds of situations. She opened the door to their room.

Willow's sitting on the bed, facing the wall, her head drooping, hands in her lap. Tara, despite her feelings, couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. She looks… so lost. Tara stands there for a moment, hesitating. She's definitely tired and doesn't want any more fighting tonight. But she had to talk about this with Willow. There was no 'letting it slide' here. What Willow's done… what they've all done… is beyond wrong. Tara knows she's responsible here, too. She should've been more… forceful with Willow, getting her to reconsider at least what she was planning. She let her heart rule her head; she saw Faith suffering, Dawn's troubles, and Willow's passion, and gave in. She went along, even supported Willow's decision, overruling Xander's and Anya's doubts and objections. Now it came back to spit in their faces; they had a very confused and frightened Buffy on their hands, an angry slayer sleeping on the couch, and now she has Willow, and she suspects things are not going to be puppy dogs and chocolates up here. She sighs internally, and heads for the bed, half-hoping Willow won't say anything, but that hope's dashed before she can reach the foot of the bed.

" I suppose you're taking her side in all this" Willow says, not looking at Tara.

"Her side? There are sides now?" Tara says, speciously.

" You know what I mean. She's blaming me for Buffy coming back… wrong" Willow says, dejectedly.

"No, I'm not blaming just you. I'm blaming me, too" Tara says, softly

Willow looks at her in surprise. " That's … that's not right!" Willow says, " It… you're not at fault".

" I share some of the blame, Willow," Tara says, " I should've stopped you. I should've kept you from doing the spell. Instead " I went along with you… and we know the result now, don't we?" Tara sits on the other end of the bed.

" But… but we had to do it, Tara" Willow says, " We had to try. I mean, we didn't have any way of knowing that…Buffy was ok. She could've been tortured in some hell dimension. We couldn’t just leave her there, could we?"

" Willow, stop it." Tara says, wearily, " stop with the ' we had to save Buffy ' speech."

"How were we supposed to know she was in a good place? " Willow protests." Faith knew. She didn't tell us. Why didn't she tell us that?"

" Would It have made a difference?" Tara asks. She turns around to look at Willow.

Willow hesitates for a split second, then says" Of course it would've."

"Don't lie to me, Willow. I can take a lot, but lying…" Tara says, turning away again.

"I'm not lying," Willow complains, " How can you say that?"

" Willow, we've been over this. I'm tired of repeating it. You've got some kind of obsession for Buffy" Tara says, her voice betraying some hurt, " I don't get it, but I guess… no, I just don't get it. You'd have found some other excuse to bring her back. The plain fact is, you wanted her back. More than any of us. Even Faith was beginning to accept she was gone. But you wouldn't".

"That's so not true" Willow asserts, " I did it because I had to do it."

" Yes. You 'had' to do it. You used forbidden magicks because you couldn't let it alone. You had to bring her back, at any cost!" Tara says, growing more and more upset.

"Yes, well, everything was wrong. Everybody was … upset. I had to fix it!" Willow says, excitedly, " I had to fix it".

" That's it exactly. You had to 'fix it' " Tara declares, " that's the whole problem, Willow. You're using way too much magic, for way too many things. That isn't what it's about!"

"But…what's magic for, if not to make right what's wrong?" Willow says.

" That's the point, Willow. You're not using magic that way. You're using it to manipulate things to be how you want them." Tara says, " You used some very dark and powerful magicks to pull this off, and it went wrong. Resurrection spells almost never go right. The only reason I thought this MIGHT work is because Buffy's death wasn't natural… not in the order of things. But even so, it … went very wrong, and now we've got to live with the consequences. Our motives weren't pure… your motives weren't pure. Don't you see that?"

"No, you're wrong. This wasn't right. This was wrong," Willow says, " She shouldn't have died. It wasn't right that she died. I was just trying to put right what went wrong. I don't understand why you can't see that. Why don't you support me in this?"

" Willow, what was done was wrong," Tara says, " She died. She shouldn't have been brought back. What am I supposed to do, just be quiet and say nothing?" Tara asks, pointedly.

" Maybe you should just be quiet!" Willow says, heatedly
Tara looks at her like she can't believe she said that. " If I didn't care about you, I would!" She says, hurt. She turns her back on Willow.

An uncomfortable silence develops between them. But Willow realizes she's gone too far. She finally speaks.

"Tara, I'm sorry" She says, turning towards Tara.

Tara just looks at her skeptically. " I'm tired, Willow. It's been a long night. Lets just go to sleep". Tara gets up, pulls back the covers and slides into bed. She's tired of talking about this.

Willow's not ready to give up.

" Tara, I really only meant it for the best" She pleads, trying to win Tara over. But it's too late in the evening, Tara is too upset and tired.

" I mean it Willow. I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight. I'm tired, I need to sleep". She turns away from Willow, pulling up the covers. Willow looks at Tara's back, realizing this isn't over yet. She sighs, and lies down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

It's not my fault. I did everything I could.

( That’s right, a small voice in her head agrees it's not your fault).

Yes, it's her fault.

Another pair of eyes are wide awake, staring at the ceiling

Dawn Summers watches the moonlight patterns play across her ceiling. All the time, her mind, restless, is trying to digest what she hears. They thought she's asleep… but who can sleep through all the noise? But she knows that if she gets up, goes out there, they'd only cover it up, try to hide what's going on from her. So she quietly lies in her bed, faking sleep when someone cones down the hall. And she listened.

What she hears throws her mind into turmoil. She can't believe it, it isn't true. But it's true…

Buffy is ALIVE!

Buffy is alive, but WRONG???

Buffy doesn't remember anything? Who she is, who Faith is, who anyone is?( Who I am?).

Willow did some spell, and brought her back. But it went wrong. Very wrong. Buffy came back, but without any idea of who she is. She's like a stranger. How can that be? How could she come back, but not know who she is? I mean, if she can't remember anything, how can she talk? This was all way above Dawn's head. But she hears the angry reactions, and she understands that clearly enough. Faith's totally pissed off. Buffy's angry, and sounded scared, too. Will? She sounds… defensive and angry at Faith… Tara too, as she hears them fighting next door. Tara seems to be the only one dealing with it… but she sounds confused, and tired. And upset at Will. So, how do I feel about this?

She doesn't know. She feels… numb. She still can't really believe it. I mean, it sounded like Buffy. Her voice, anyway. But … was it really her? I mean, she doesn't know who she is, so how could it be her? how'm I supposed to deal with this? Who's the 'older' sister now, if Buffy isn't… herself? How do I treat her? Do I listen to her when she tries to tell me to do something? Will she even bother? Will she even care?

Dawn thinks of Faith. Poor Faith! This must be killing her. Buffy's back, and she doesn't even know her. Dawn feels empathy for Faith… loving someone, and not being noticed. Even though it Faith that doesn't notice her. She doesn't want Faith miserable. And she doesn't want Faith by default. If it could happen, if she could see me as Dawn, as someone special, oh yeah I'd love that. But I don't want to be a substitute for Buffy. When Buffy was gone, different story. I could be patient, I could wait 'til I was older, Fai Faith would see me as…sigh, but that can't happen. She loves Buffy, even if it’s hopeless. She'll never see me now… I'll always be in Buffy's shadow. The kid. The P-nut. Dawn lay watching the shifting light patterns on her ceiling. She wasn't mad at Faith. Or Buffy. She was, however, angry at Willow. Why'd you do it, Will? Bring Buffy back? The worst thing, the absolute worst, is you brought her back not knowing who she is, who any of us are. She' s not my sister, she's not Faith's lover. How's she gonna be happy this way? How're any of us gonna be happy this way?

Dawn's too restless. She can't lie here anymore. It's quiet now, the rest of the house having settled down. She throws off the covers, and slips out of bed. She quietly crosses the room and enters the hallway, crossing to Buffy's room. She tries the doorknob, and it's open. She peeks in. The lamp by the bed is still burning, and Buffy is lying on top of the covers, sleeping. She feels the tug at her heart strings. No matter how annoying Buffy could be; how much she treated Dawn like a kid, Dawn still loved her. Seeing her sleeping, she looked so… innocent. Dawn quietly steals over, and best she can, covers her sister with the blankets. She has an urge to kiss her, but refrains. After what she's heard, doesn't want to wake her up and put the house back on bedlam mode again. She quietly leaves Buffy's room and heads downstairs.

She makes for the kitchen, planning on doing a little late night snacking. She nearly runs into Faith, also unable to sleep, has the same idea.

"Hey, P-nut" Faith says, backing up a bit to avoid ramming into Dawn, " Doing a late night fridge raid?"

" Yeah" Dawn says, covering, " got the tummy rumbles". She heads towards the fridge.

"Ummm… we didn't wake you, did we?" Faith asks, a bit concerned. She's hoping she can break the news to Dawn gently.

"Ummm…" Dawn stalls. Wanting to talk, and not wanting to talk. It's all kind of confused for her

Faith looks at her, and guesses the truth. " How much did you hear, P-nut?" She asks.

" Uhhh… pretty much most of it, I think" Dawn says. Faith winces. So not how she wanted her to learn about it. She goes over and puts her arm on Dawn's shoulder.

&q'>" You ok, Dawn?" She asks, seriously.

Dawn looks at her, and nods. " Just kinda major weirded, you know?" Dawn says, " How can she not remember anything?".

"Wish I knew, P-nut…damn, sorry, Dawn, I keep forgetting…" Faith smiles sheepishly." Something went wrong… must've gone wrong in the spell Willow performed." But get her to own up to it? Oh yeah, that'll happen… in the next millennium, maybe. She looks at Dawn, who looks rather confused… maybe a little lost. " Hey, wanna talk about it?" Faith asks.

"Kinda late, Faith, " Dawn says, " You need some sleep, and I got school in the morning" Huh? What the hell am I saying?

" Aw, screw it. Gonna blow off work tomorrow" Faith says, " Wanna be here for B. If ya want, I'll write you a note for school. Getting pretty good at signing Buffy's name now". She chuckles, " Not every day your sister comes back from the dead". As soon as the words leave her mouth, she winces. God, Faith, stupid much? Kid's probably freakin' already. Dummy!

"That's just it, Faith" Dawn says, seeming to take the 'back from the dead' comment a lot calmer than Faith expected, " Is it really Buffy? Boy, that sounded stupid. What I mean is, since she doesn't remember anything, is she really still Buffy?"

"Gee, Dawn. Just ask me an easy one why don't ya?" Faith says, brow furrowed. " Look, I'm no like philosopher or deep thinker type. Not a newsflash there, I know. But…Ok, ummm… lets say you have a favorite CD?" Dawn looks at her quizzically, " It's just an example, Dawn. I mean, you like this CD a whole bunch. The music really talks to you; you've listened to it so many times, you can hear it in your head, ok?" Faith looks at Dawn, who nods. " One day, you look for that CD, but you've misplaced it. It's gone, you can't find it anywhere. You're bummed" Dawn gives Faith a sidelong glance. Faith continues" Ok, ok, there's a point here. Even though you can't play that CD anymore, is the music really gone?" Dawn shrugs, " I don't think so, Dawn" Faith says, " I think it's still here" She points at her head, " You can still hear the music. You know in your heart how the music made you feel. That doesn't change, just cause the CD is lost." Faith looks at Dawn to see if she's following, but Dawn looks at her like ' what does that got to do with Buffy?' … Faith sighs, and continues. " That's kinda like Buffy. She's sorta lost. But she's not gone, not really. Not as long as we hear her music in our heads and heart… She's still Buffy, we just gotta find her. Get it?" Faith sees the light come on in Dawn's eyes. She's a bright kid… always knew that one. " So what we gotta do, Dawn, is find that CD…got it?" Dawn nods. Faith smiles at her.

"So, what're we gonna do, Faith?" Dawn asks," I mean, how're we gonna make Buffy Buffy again?"

" Boy, you're just full of easy questions today, aren't ya, P-nut?" Faith says, then winces. " Damn, I did it again. I'm really tr her here, Dawn… but sometimes I…." Dawn interrupts her.

" Look, Faith, it's no big. It's ok if you call me P-nut… I was just in a weird mood that morning"n san says. Dawn actually likes it when Faith calls her that. Why she made a deal of it, she'll never know. Oh, yeah, I wanted her to stop thinkin' of me as a kid… but… It's kinda nice 'she's gotta a pet name for me. It's special for me. Ok, Dawn, obsess much?

"Thanks, Dawnie" Faith says, still trying to avoid the "P" word. " I'm no shrink, Dawn. But I kinda think we're just gonna have to be patient with her, ease her back into her life. Try to remind her of who she is and all that stuff. I'm kinda flying blind here, P-nut, but I think that's the right thing to do. I'm thinking maybe that she's still in there, somewhere, and we just gotta bring her out, ya know?" Faith looks over at Dawn , who's frowning a little. " What?" She asks, concerned.

" You kinda said to Willow that that wasn't her anymore" Dawn says, her tone strange, " That she was just a shell… not the real Buffy. I don't get it"

Faith sighs, " I was really angry at Red, Dawn, and I kinda was upset and hurt. I'd found her wandering around Restfield, not knowing who she was. She was attacked by vamps, and was really scared." Faith pauses, then adds, " Ok, I was really scared too. For her… for me, too. Thing is Dawn, grownups kinda act like kids when their upset, ya know? I said some stuff that after I cooled down, I'm kinda not proud of. I've thought about it, and that's your sister Dawn, even if she's not like knowing it."

"Are you still mad at Willow?" Dawn asks.

" Yeah, I really am, Dawn" Faith says. She sees Dawn's surprise, and explains, " It's not because of Buffy not remembering stuff, Dawn. OK, we can sorta fix that, I guess. But… She really messed with things she shouldn't have messed with what sat she did… it was wrong Dawn, do you understand?" Faith searches Dawn's face, but sees she's clueless, so she goes on, "I'm no witch, but the stuff … the magic she used… is forbidden Dawn. There's got to be a reason. I… I've heard stories of people playing with resurrection spells. And … it came out really wrong. That coulda happened with B, Dawn."

"But it didn't, Faith. Not really" Dawn says, pleading Willow's case, sort of, " It turned out ok…well, mostly".

" That was pure luck, Dawn. Despite what Red said, it might've gone very differently. Buffy could've come back deformed…or worse… much worse" Faith doesn't want to scare Dawn by elaborating, "If that'd happened, then what? Could I … just let her suffer…or be a danger? What would I have to do, Dawnie? I woulda had to do something that…oh, God…I'd hate to do. And you'd hate me for doing it…Think I could live with that?" Faith is really upset, feeling tears stinging her eyes. She stands and walks away from the table so Dawn can't see.
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Timeless Faith

Timeless Faith