Won't Be Long, Love | By : lucky021 Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 2392 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: I know it's been forever, but I hope someone is still with me. This story will be wrapped up in two or three more chapters, and they'll be coming very soon as I have the break to finish this and Professional Distance. Please, please review and let me know if this is a lost cause or not. Hope you enjoy.
In the festive hall by the star watched shore Oh ever my restless spirit cries
My love oh my love will I ne'er see you more
And my land will you never uprise
By night and by day I ever ever pray
While lonely my life flows on
To see our flag unrolled
And my true love to enfold
In the valley near Slievenamon.
-"Slievnamon"
Buffy woke first the next morning. Her eyes were itchy from crying herself to sleep and she was a little sore, perhaps from all the crying she'd been doing the day before. However, the arms around her, and the body pressed against her felt so perfect that she could almost forget the rest.
Her heart still ached where she felt Liam's loss, but a part of it, the part William's superiors had ripped apart was starting to heal. She could tell by his breathing that he was still asleep and she turned slowly and carefully in his arms so that she was facing him.
Even in his sleep he looked worried. The past few days must have taken an awful toll on him, they had on her. She reached up and touched his face. All the guilt she'd felt over Liam's death was still there, but William was right about the irrational nature of it.
It was inevitable that things would have ended with him, and according to his letter he was hurt but resigned. She didn't like to think of Liam that way. He was so strong, so amazing at her side. They were an amazing team, but that's all it had really ever been.
With William it was like half of her was missing without him. She'd known him, and loved him for most of her life, and when she'd thought he was gone a part of her died with him. Slowly it was coming back. The planning for the future, the way she actually started to wonder where she'd be in her personal life, not just how she'd be furthering a cause.
It changed so much. Especially as there was no way they would have it easy. He was their prisoner, though willing at the moment, but he couldn't walk away from the military anymore than she could walk away from her new family.
There was a time when she would have believed that love could conquer all. Somewhere along the line she'd lost that.
But she wanted so badly to believe in William again. She needed to believe in him again. It was all she had left of the old her.
Buffy leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. She felt him stir against her and he began to return the kiss. She pulled back before it could get too deep and smiled sadly at him.
"Did you get any sleep?" he whispered, his voice still rough with sleep.
Buffy nodded and snuggled deeper into his embrace. He kissed her temple softly and rubbed his hands up and down her back, entwining his legs with hers.
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
She felt him take a deep breath and pull her tighter to him. "Last night, when you asked me why I didn't come for you-"
"I know why, I'm sorry, I was just-"
"No... no, I should have. I should have just left, if I had loved you enough-"
She pulled back and covered his mouth with her hand. "Please don't apologize to me. If you do that... it will mean I'm just as guilty of Liam's death as you are for what they did to us."
She buried her face in his chest and let her first tears of the morning come.
"I'm sorry Buffy, God I'm so sorry."
"Shh... Will, just.. just..."
She brought her face up and allowed him to kiss her. It was soft and hesitant, their first real kiss since the air had been cleared. Their tongues met and the kiss grew in passion quickly.
William's hands trembled as he ran them up Buffy's sides up to her breasts. She moaned lightly at his first brief touch and he snaked them under her shirt to unclasp her bra and touched her for the first time in too long without any barrier between them.
"Oh, God, Will..."
He let his lips wander to her neck and sucked lightly at the pulse point as he gathered the hem of her shirt and pulled it up. They broke apart for a second as he removed her shirt and then allowed her to do the same to him.
Her nipples hardened painfully as they came into contact with his bare chest and they both groaned as he ground his erection between her thighs.
"I've missed you, this, so much," he whispered before kissing her again and taking her breath away.
They lost themselves in each other and didn't realize that someone had opened the door until they spoke.
"Interesting way to mourn him, Buffy."
Buffy's eyes shot open and she sat up suddenly, pulling the sheet up to cover her breasts, and dislodging William so quickly that he almost fell to the floor.
"Oh my God, Doyle?!"
The brunette looked grim as he regarded the two in the bed. "We're meeting downstairs. I guess I'll see you in a moment?"
Buffy's face flamed and she opened her mouth to explain but didn't know how. She just nodded and averted her eyes and he stepped out of the room.
The couple that remained were silent for a moment until Spike sighed and ran a hand through his hair before standing and grabbing his shirt.
"Liam's cousin?"
Buffy nodded and tried to blink back tears. "I've got to go, I'm sorr-"
Spike shook his head and pulled on his boots. "Don't worry about it. I'll go see about, Xander."
"Will, please-"
"I'll see you later, Buffy," he said curtly as he left the room.
Buffy buried her head in her hands for a moment before shaking her emotions off and got dressed.
***
"So we're not going to retaliate?"
"Don't you think that's what whoever's responsible wants us to do?" Willow asked. "We've got to find out who it was, specifically, and then maybe we can do something. Other than that, we wait."
Anya nodded and stood. "We all know that whenever something like this happens, if we go out and fight back right away with something large scale, we'll get the worst press. We're the bad guys in every scenario as far as the international, even the national community is concerned. We've got to lay low and try to let the police take care of this for now."
Gunn shook his head and walked out. Fred smiled apologetically. "He's still really upset, he knows what the right thing to do is, it just doesn't seem like enough right now."
Doyle, who had been silent throughout put a hand over hers and smiled back. "We're all hurting. Losing Liam is something that we'll never forget, but at a crucial time like this, when the peace process is heating up, we've got to keep our heads." He swallowed hard and pulled out flask, taking a swig before continuing. "I want to go out and find the bastards responsible. We won't be sure of which group until we get our contacts in or someone claims responsibility. After we find out, we'll go after individuals, and we'll do it quietly."
"What are we going to do with the two we've got?"
Buffy glanced at Doyle and found him staring back. "I'm not sure yet. I'll let you all know by tonight."
Willow and Tara looked for a moment at Buffy and tried to give her a reassuring smile. "For right now, I want Willow to go out and meet with some of our contacts in town, and Fred, you find out what the press have. Everyone else get some rest, we'll need to make some arrangements for Liam's burial later."
The group dispersed quietly, the sense of loss still hung heavy in the air. Only Anya, Doyle and Buffy remained.
"So what's the word about the prisoners?"
Buffy took a deep breath and looked up at the man she'd at one time considered as close an ally as Liam, and now there was so much pain separating them, it was no better than when he was away. "What you saw earlier-"
"None of my business. None of my concern really. I want to know why we have these two and what Liam's plans were."
"He was waiting for Buffy to decide," Anya said quietly. "And.. me as well, lately."
Doyle took another drink from his flask and sighed heavily. "Jesus Christ, not one but two sleeping with the enemy. This is priceless."
Buffy blushed and Anya chuckled. "You know he's the one that did this to me?" she said, gesturing to her eye patch.
Doyle stared at her for a moment. "Are you jokin'?"
She just shrugged. "Love's a funny thing."
"That what's going on here?"
Buffy looked unwilling to speak so Anya broke in. "I'm not sure about me, could be, but Buffy's got a much bigger story to tell."
Doyle's gaze shifted to her and she saw that it had softened some. "It's William, the man I thought was dead. There were some things done to keep us apart on the part of his superiors, we had no idea about each other, and now he's back."
"The plot thickens. And so you just said adios to Liam the second this asshole comes back?"
Buffy flinched at the coldness of his tone. "I wasn't sure about what I was going to do." She paused and looked back into his eyes. "Liam made the decision for me... This morning.. It was crazy, I just found out what had happened to Will and Liam was gone and I needed something to make things simpler for a moment."
Doyle was silent for a moment before he finally reached for Buffy and she went willingly into his arms. There were no words needed between them. Things would be ok, at least as far as they were concerned. Months before, she'd confided in Doyle the whole William story and how she didn't think she was able to really love. He knew how hard all of this was, and he knew that she was mourning Liam just as much as he was.
They remained together for a moment, silent tears coursing down their faces until they finally regained their composure. "What are you going to do, then?"
Buffy wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I don't have any idea. This is the worst mess I've ever been in. I can't give this up, he can't get away, and we're stuck. No matter what, our pasts are going to keep us apart, I can't live knowing he's out there and we're on opposite sides."
Doyle kept his arm around Buffy as he looked to Anya. "And you?"
"I don't want to kill him, I don't want to send him back. I want him to stay, but if he won't, I just want to let him go, but somewhere new, not back to the military."
Doyle thought for a moment before standing. "I'm going to make some calls. You two go get some rest. I'll come discuss this after I've figured out some more options."
Buffy stood and hugged him again, kissing his cheek. "Thank you for understanding."
He simply nodded and left, his pain too much for him at the moment.
***
"Will?"
Spike looked up from his cot and opened his arms when he saw Buffy standing there. "C'mere, pet."
She went, grateful that he seemed less angry now. "Are we ok?"
He nodded against her hair. "I'm sorry about earlier. Too much going through my head."
"Me too."
They lay together silently for a moment, enjoying the feel of each other without all the worry for a while.
"What do you want to do?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, propping his head up on his hand so that he could look down at her.
"Do you want to go back?"
"You think I could do that, knowing what they took from me?"
"What else can you do? You don't want to fight here."
He was quiet as he looked into her eyes. "No. I wish I could say that I believe in this just because you do, but I can't. This whole situation is insane. I don't want to have anything to do with either side."
Buffy swallowed hard and nodded. "What are we going to do?" she asked, tears forming for the hundredth time that day in her eyes.
William leaned down and kissed her before burying his face in her neck and holding her close as she cried for their doomed future.
***
Buffy walked into she and Liam's old bedroom and found Doyle and Anya already there.
"I think I've found something, but there are some choices. Are you both ready?"
Anya and Buffy exchanged a glance before nodding.
"First choice, you can try and convince them to stay."
"I can't ask Will to do that."
Doyle nodded, he'd suspected as much, and looked to Anya.
"That's a possibility. Xander and I have talked about it, what's the other choice?"
"Well, I talked with some people today. We can give them a new identity, or at least get rid of their records and give them altered ones. Problem is, we can only get them to one place safely, and then they're on their own as far as moving about goes."
Buffy's heart sank. She'd expected something like this, but she wanted to believe that there would be a way for William and she to be together without compromising anything. It was stupid, she knew it, but it was killing her.
"And there's more. I won't let them go back to England. They betray us and I'll kill them. I know you understand that that's not an idle threat."
They both nodded solemnly.
"But," he added reluctantly, "there is one more way for things to work out." He sighed. "I don't want to say this, but I believe in fate," he looked directly at Buffy then, "and there's a way, if you decide to do it, to send you with them."
Buffy stopped breathing. He couldn't be giving her that opportunity. How could she leave this, how could she leave William? It would be the most difficult and heartbreaking decision of her life. If she sent him away, it would be the end of them, for sure that time, and she would probably die sooner rather than later, but at least she would have died doing something for the greater good. But she would be without that part of herself that William held onto.
Doyle touched her hand and she looked up at him.
"Talk to him, Buffy, and let me know. But I've got to know by tonight."
He kissed her forehead lightly and led Anya out of the room. Buffy remained behind, unable to move.
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