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After the end	By : Eagleblaze Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Tara/Willow Views: 2350 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and characters dont belong to me, they belong to Joss. I'm simply using them to make a story. No profit at all is made from this.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Tara woke up with a wail, sweating and panting, tears wetting her cheeks.
"Oh Goddess… it was a dream.. Oh thank you.." Her breath hitched as the phone rang. She picked in up quickly,
"Tara, you need to get down here.. Willow just had a heart attack." Taras heart seemed to scream to a stop, the phone falling from her hand. She got up, rushing towards the door without even hanging up the phone. The two on the couch asked questions again as she ran out, but she was in too much of a panic to notice. She had barely closed the car door before she turned the keys, driving off as soon as the engine roared to life. What if Willow died? The last conversation they had was about what Willow did after she died, and she had run out. She hadn't even said a goodbye, hadn't told her how much she loved her. As she sped down the road, she nearly screamed at her stupidity. She should have told Willow that she just needed to think. She should have told her that she would always love her no matter what she did. She jumped out of the car seconds after it had stopped, not bothering to lock it before running towards the building. She spotted Giles when he stood from his chair, his expression covered in concern.
"She's this way-" The watcher explained, walking swiftly down the halls until they came to a room with the curtain drawn, the sound of Nurses and Doctors working with a long beeping filling her ears. Giles pushed the curtain back so she could enter, looking away as he did. Tara gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. Willow was sprawled limply on the bed, nurses rushing to help her. Even though Tara knew what the beeping meant, she watched Willows chest for any movement.
"Clear!" A male nurse barked, pressing paddles to Willows chest. Her body jerked, but fell back, the beep continuing. With a quiet, horrified gasp, Tara realized this was partly her fault. She had made Willow tell her about something that clearly had a horrible affect on her.. And she had left her. Willow had been screaming, begging her to stay, and she ignored it. That would have been the last conversation they ever had. Surely Willow knew that she loved her? She had come back from the dead to save her after all! She noticed that Buffy was standing by the wall, her tear-filled eyes glued to her friend. She was whispering something repeatedly, hugging herself tightly. Tara watched her lips, biting her lip when she realized what Buffy was repeating to herself.
"Come on.. Wake up Will… Come on…" Tara tore her gaze back to Willow as they shocked her again. When she still didn't wake, Tara was sure she was going to pass out, her hand pressed tightly against her lips to stifle her cries. The room started spinning, her chest heavy. When she felt herself start to fall, Buffy was suddenly at her side, holding her up. "She'll make it Tara.. I.. I know she will.." It was unclear if Buffy was trying to convince Tara, or if she was trying to convince herself. It suddenly dawned on Tara that this must have been how Willow felt when she died… And so much worse when it was made clear she couldn't bring her back. Right now, there was still a chance that the doctors could save her. Still a small hope. But there hadn't been any for Willow. Tara found herself understanding what Willow had done. She couldn't think straight, she was controlled by grief. Tara was the main thing keeping Willow from falling back into the magicks, and when she died, that would have snapped. Tara wasn't certain that she wouldn't have done the same thing, had it been Willow shot that day. {Come on! You can't leave me now!} A voice in her head screeched in dismay, {Not now! Not before I can tell you that I understand! Not before you know I forgive you!} Tara stumbled further into Buffys grip, unable to keep herself steady. {That can't be the last thing she remembers me by! She'll think I hate her! She has to know how much I love her! Oh goddess, please don't take her from me!} As if answering her thoughts, a slow beeping started on the monitor, bumps in the formerly straight line.
"We got her!" Tara immediately tried to push her way to the bedside, struggling when Buffy held her back.
"You need to let them finish what they're doing or we might lose her again!" Tara knew Buffy was right, but her mind was screaming for her to go to Willows side. After what seemed like an eternity, one of the doctors came over.
"Are you family?" Tara glanced at Buffy. Would they not let them stay with Willow?
"I-I'm her g-g-girlfriend.." The doctor raised his eyebrows, glancing down at his clipboard.
"Name?" Tara winced at his tone,
"T-T-Tara M-Maclay.." He clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes.
"Well, you're on her emergency contacts, so i guess you can stay with her. But your other friend can't for at least two days - hospital policy. She probably wont wake up too soon. When she does, just don't ask too many questions, she needs her rest." Tara nodded, not taking her eyes off Willow. She ignored the doctors grumble as he walked away, rushing to the bedside. She pulled the chair/ fold-out bed closer to the bed, grabbing Willows hand when she sat. Her hands and wrists were still really boney, but after what just happened, Tara figured it had lowered on the list of importance. They had Willow back now, so food and water shouldn't be a problem anymore, right? Tara suddenly yawned, noticing how exhausted she was. She hadn't slept much in the past days. She decided not to fold the chair out, and just lay her head on Willows bed instead. At this point she wasn't sure she could sleep if she wasn't near Willow. So she shifted Willows hand in her own to lay her head on the white blanket, bringing the hand to rest closer to her face, giving it a small kiss for good measure. With Willows hand in her own again, Tara quickly fell into a calm sleep.

***

~When Willow opened her eyes, she found herself in a dark room. Well, she wasn't sure she /had/ opened her eyes because of how dark it was. Hateful whispers started to fill the air around her, causing her to cower, covering her ears. When it didn't help, Willow realized the voices were coming from her own mind. They told her that no one could - or would - ever love her again, and probably never had.. Other than Kennedy. Willow shook her head violently, mumbling for the voices to shut up. She knew that Tara cared about her, and Buffy, Xander, Dawn and Giles. She /knew/ they did! Tears squeezed out of her tightly shut eyes. Or do they? She had never really done anything to help them. She had thought that her magic had been helping, but it turned out to only be causing pain to the ones she cared about. Even after the coven, when she thought she knew how to use it for good, Kennedy had told her it wasn't all that helpful.. And she was right, wasn't she? She had tried to end the world with magic - Kennedy said it was selfish, that she was only doing it because things didn't go her way. Wasn't that how she did everything? She had convinced herself that she had been helping people all this time - Well, since she met Buffy anyway - but had she really had any affect? Buffy and the others did most of the work - she just sat around with her dumb nerdy ways, until she found she could do magic. But even after that, she hadnt done much. They could have easily done everything without her. It was like Kennedy said - she was just getting in the way of things, but no one had the heart to tell her. She was like a toddler who pretended to steer from the backseat. People encouraged her, but she didn't actually help anything. Willow scrunched her face up, her fingers digging into her hair as the voices grew louder and louder. Were they right? Was Kennedy only trying to help her? Was she just being a selfish brat like always? Even when she had fought back against Kennedy and tried to escape, when the bottle stabbed her, Kennedy had apologized. {But she left you} Willow cried harder, unsure what to think. {Tara came back to the dead to save you}
{Did you really need any saving, though?} Willow got to the point where small strands of red hair were pulled out by her clenched fists, but she didn't notice. She screeched when she felt herself start to fall, gasping when she found herself in a new room. It looked like Buffys old living room.. But there was something in the middle of the room, a black-haired girl standing over it. Willow moved forward warily, her eyes widening in horror when she figured out what the thing in the middle of the room was. A body, a Human body… The room spun around her. Tara's body, with Kennedy standing over it, covered in the blondes blood. Willow screamed in horror and disbelief, cowering when Kennedy turned to glare at her.
"I thought I said I didnt want to see her near you again, Willow." Willow started to faint with another scream. Tara's death was her fault - again.~

Willow woke up with a screech, jumping back when she noticed her hand in someone else's, only for her back to slam against the sides of the bed. The person holding her hand shot up, eyes wide.
"Willow! It's just me!" Willows breathing quickened even more while she looked at Tara. Tara couldn't be near her, or Kennedy would kill her! She screamed again when three people rushed in, trying to push her back down.
"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!!" She screeched, thrashing against their hands.
"Sedate her-" Willow shrieked again when a needle was pulled out, struggling harder.
"STAY AWAY!!" The man holding it growled in frustration when she managed to hit it out of his grip, bending to find it. She shoved herself forward, biting the other male who held her arms. The man helped, pulling his hand back.
"What the-" The last remaining person other than Tara, lunged forward to push her down by her shoulders. She shrieked, kicking at her. More people rushed in, pushing her against the bed firmly while another needle was pulled out, grimacing at her screams of protest.
"W-Wait! You dont need to-" Tara's yell was cut off by Willows yelp when the needle was stabbed into her arm, still struggling in vain. {Who are these people?! Why won't they let me up?! Are they trying to hurt me?!} If she hadn't been so panicked, she would have known she was in a hospital, and these were nurses and doctors who were trying to keep her calm. But she didn't, stuck in the mindset that everything and everyone was out to hurt her. {Kennedy was right!} Her panicked thoughts and thrashing slowed when the drug kicked in, her vision starting to blur. Willow just managed to catch Tara's tear soaked face before passing out.

***

Tara found it hard to look away from the scene in front of her, words and any sort of movement out of the question right now. She was terrified. She had never seen Willow like this. Why was she acting this way /now/? She hadn't when they first brought her here! {Maybe me running out sent her over the edge..} She thought solemnly, eyes widening further when she finally noticed the needle.
"W-Wait! You dont need to-" Tara shrunk away at Willows shriek when they gave her a shot of something. Willows protests and struggles started to slow, her closing green eyes catching her blue ones before she passed out. One of the doctors murmured something, the other nurses and doctors shuffling out while one rushed to follow some sort of instruction. The remaining doctor walked towards her with a sympathetic expression. Tara noted it wasn't the one from before.
"The other doctor.." The doctor paused, "..Had another patient to tend to, so I'll be Willows doctor for the rest of her time here." Tara shook her hand numbly when she stuck it out, glancing between her and Willow. "My name is Dr. Parker.. I assume you are the girlfriend?"
"Y-Ye-Yeah.. T-Tara M-Maclay.." Dr. Parker frowned, following her gaze to Willow with a sigh. The nurse returned with two leather straps, causing Tara's heart to drop. "W-What are t-those..?" Dr. Parker sighed again,
"I'm sorry, but with Willow lashing out and attacking our staff.." Tara gasped,
"You can't arrest her! S-She doesn't know what she's doing! S-Shes s-scared and c-confused!" Dr. Parker sighed,
"We aren't arresting her, Tara. It's obvious she was under a lot of stress and with the wounds she came in with.. This behavior isnt surprising." Tara calmed slightly, "However, we do have to restrain her to the bed so she can't hurt anyone else, okay? When she goes a couple days without lashing out, we can take them off. Sound good?" Tara blinked repeatedly, biting her lip.
"I-I g-g-guess but-" Tears returned to her eyes, "She doesn't mean to hurt anyone! She's a good person shes just-" Dr. Parker shushed her gently,
"I understand, but I have to protect my co-workers, okay?" Tara sniffled with a nod. "I dont think you should hold her hand or try to lay on her bed again though. We don't want you getting hurt too-"
"She'd never hurt me!"
"Maybe not intentionally, but she seems quite traumatized, and might freak out if she wakes up with someone touching her." Tara nodded slowly. That was what happened just now, right? Willow wasn't mad at her..?
"O-Okay.." Dr. Parker waved to the nurse once he had finished tying Willows wrists to the bed rails.
"I need to go check in on my other patients, if you need me, press the call button, okay?" Tara nodded again, "You should go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. Willow probably won't wake up for a little bit yet, and you can't help her if you get sick or pass out, understood?"
"Y-Yeah.." Once Dr. Parker left the room, Tara sighed and glanced back at Willow. Even just Imagining spending a day where she knew Willow was gone was horrible.. She couldn't imagine what it was like all those years after she died for Willow. She knew that she had been away from Willow in that time too, but she hadn't been able to feel it.. To know that they were apart. Part of her did, but the other part knew that Willow would join her, that she was just waiting. And she didn't feel the emptiness that Willow must have. Shaking her head sadly, Tara made her way out of the room and to the waiting room, not shocked that Buffy, Xander, Giles and Dawn were sitting in the corner of the room, fast asleep. She guessed that Xander and Dawn came, and then they all spent the night. Willow was so loved.. How could Kennedy have made her forget that? Tara rubbed her face, continuing to the elevator. She didn't think she wanted to know what Willow had gone through in the years she had been dead. What happened to cause the redhead to fall to this state. She continued to think while she made her way towards the cafeteria, becoming more concerned for Willow with every second that passed. How could she help Willow? Could Willow even /be/ helped at this stage? Tara pushed the last thought away, grabbing an apple and a turkey sandwich to put on her tray. Of course Willow could be helped. She wouldn't be back if she couldn't.. Right? {It will just take time..} She thought solemnly as she added a bottle of water to her tray. Another thought worked its way into her mind while she paid for her food, {But will she ever be the same?}
- 5
- 6
- 7
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After the end