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Don't Go	By : Kinetickid Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Tara Views: 11781 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Buffy looks down at the small leather braided ring, glancing back up at Tara questioningly.
�I can�t make anything to keep her from using magic on us completely, but th-that�ll block any m-memory tampering spells.� Tara explains softly. �The ingredients n-needed to keep her from b-being able to d-do spells on us� Expensive.� Tara finally admits quietly.
Buffy slides the item on her middle finger and nods her head in understanding. Tara having been staying in her room for the past week, the two women slowly becoming closer. Thankful Willow had obviously taken Buffy at her word and was being on her best behavior as far as anyone was aware. Though the redhead disappeared frequently and more often than not didn�t always come home each night. When Tara had told her that Amy the Rat was no longer in her cage, Buffy had questioned her about it. Surprised when Tara whispered that she thinks Willow was finally able to turn the young woman back into her human form.
�Dawn�s staying at a friend�s house tonight, and since you were able to contact the mortgage company sending everything Next Day Air to them, we don�t have to worry about the mortgage anymore. So, would you consider spending some of the expected refund money on dinner out?� Buffy questions softly, looking up at the blonde Wiccan that has pretty much spent every moment with her when she wasn�t in class. Helping her to slowly come to terms with being back here and helping her manage the pain and anger. Knowing she�s a long way from being back to normal, but also the anger and pain wasn�t near as bad. Slowly feeling more �settled� in her own mind and body, though some days she still feels like everything�s so wrong. Those were the days that Tara seemed to know, and realizing that the Wiccan probably did know, and would come and hug her, insisting that she talk and meditate with her to help her through the worst of it.
Tara grins crookedly at the slayer and gently squeezes her shoulder. �That almost sounded like you were asking me on a date.�
Buffy shrugs and allows a small grin to cross her face. �Well, we have been sleeping together for over a week. I thought it might be time to actually take you out.�
Tara laughs quietly and smacks Buffy gently on the shoulder, the slayer having made it a habit to make little comments and do things the past week to embarrass her. Though noticing that, more often than not, Buffy would say something when she obviously noticed that she was becoming more worried or introspective. �So, where are you taking me?�
Buffy allows a full smile to cross her face. �Do you want to try that new Chinese Buffet that opened up over by the campus?�
�That sounds wonderful. Planning on seeing how long it will take for them to kick you out?� Tara jokes and winks at the slayer, laughing at the pout she gets in response.
�It�s all you can eat. If they can�t handle it, they shouldn�t make it an all you can eat buffet!� Buffy smiles at hearing Tara laugh, knowing the Wiccan has become more serious and worried than she should be. �Come on. You�ve cooked dinner every night this week, plus fixed breakfast more often than not. Let me treat you.� Buffy begs softly, her eyes serious.
�I already agreed, honey.� Tara smiles softly at the slayer. Brushing a fingertip gently over the slayer�s cheek, thankful that Buffy had started gaining some weight back. That along with the fact that her emotions weren�t quite as much in an uproar as they were before, making her feel better.
�Good. Let�s get ready.� Buffy urges Tara up the stairs allowing her eyes to take in the form of the Wiccan, having to admit that over the past week she�d been noticing the blonde woman a lot more. Knowing that waking up in her arms every day doing more for her than even Tara realizes.
�Where�s Willow?� Tara questions curiously, having noticed that the redhead wasn�t home.
�She said she was going to stay at her parent�s house this weekend.� Buffy shrugs, not really worried about the redhead. �She�s been acting a little antsy here the last few days.�
Tara slowly nods, worried. �If she hasn�t been doing any magic, it�s probably magical withdrawals. She has become so dependent on it, it acts like a drug.� Tara pulls one of her nicer blouses out of the closet, glancing over at Buffy. �What are you wearing?�
�Jeans and a button up shirt.� Buffy shrugs, sitting on the bed, watching as Tara pulls out a pair of jeans to put on, having noticed after a couple days that Tara was becoming less self-conscious and would change in the room while she was in here. Having to admit, that no matter how wrong it might be, she received pleasure from the sight of watching Tara change. �What are you planning on doing over the summer before classes start back up?� Buffy questions curiously, trying to keep her eyes to Tara�s face as the woman looks at her as she finishes pulling her clothes off.
�Ummm. This is my last year, Buffy. I�ll be graduating this year, so I�ll be looking for a job.� Tara explains quietly seeing the shocked look on Buffy�s face.
�But� I thought you were the same age as us?� Buffy blinks in surprise at Tara, unconsciously leaning forward her eyes unwavering as they gaze at Tara.
Tara chuckles quietly and nods her head. �Yes, I am. But I skipped a year, and probably could have skipped more if my father would have signed the papers to allow it.� Tara shrugs as she pulls her jeans on, leaving them undone as she pulls her blouse on, buttoning it quickly before tucking it in and zipping and buttoning her jeans.
Buffy watches Tara as she makes her way over to the bed, having picked up her boots to sit on the edge beside her to put them on. �I� Damn. What is your degree in?� Buffy finally questions, realizing she never really knew what Tara was studying.
�Which one?� Tara quirks her lip at the slayer, her eyes twinkling, hearing the quiet growl come from Buffy, Tara chuckles. �I have a Business Management Degree and I also was able to earn enough credits to have a teaching degree. The first year I was here, I took summer classes also, along with a completely fully loaded schedule every year.�
Buffy stares at the woman as she let�s that information sink in. �What are you wanting to do?�
�Find a job, what money I have put away won�t last forever.� Tara pats Buffy gently on the leg after she finishes tying her laces. �And since you�re adamant about me not actually paying rent and will only let me help with the groceries, electric and other bills I won�t have to rush out to take the first job I can find.� Tara sighs quietly as she thinks about what she would like to do. �I would love to teach. Having the summers off is a plus, also. Though having to bring my work home with me isn�t necessarily a plus.� Tara smiles at the thought.
�What grades? And what particular classes?� Buffy finally stands, walking over to the closet and grabbing her own clean clothes to change into while turning back to watch Tara.
�Probably high school. English, History and any kind of Business courses.� Tara shrugs, unconsciously watching as Buffy changes. Becoming more comfortable around the slayer as Buffy didn�t freak out, and even with the teasing and occasional picking that she did, knowing the slayer had become more comfortable around her also.
�Instead of taking a full-time position, why don�t you think about being a substitute teacher?� Buffy suggests, smiling at the surprised look on Tara�s face. �That way you can teach the different courses and maybe not have quite so much �homework� yourself.�
Tara chuckles and nods her head. �That�s actually not a bad idea. Of course substitutes don�t usually get benefits, but the pay would be better to help counteract that.� Tara purses her lips as she thinks about it. �Thanks for the idea, honey. That gives me another option.� Tara stands as the slayer steps towards the bedroom door. �Is Dawn still a little freaked out about the sleeping arrangements?�
Buffy grunts quietly, nodding her head. �I think what freaked her out is when she came into the room and I was practically wrapped around you.� Buffy admits as they walk down the stairs. Buffy double-checking her pockets for the keys and cash she�d tucked away automatically.
�There was no practically to it. I didn�t realize you became an octopus.� Tara jokes as she waits for Buffy to lock the door behind them. �Jeep or walk?�
Buffy purses her lips in consideration. �We need to do some grocery shopping, so it would probably be best to take the Jeep and we can stop at the store tonight instead of hitting it tomorrow.�
Tara laughs quietly as she pulls the keys out of her pocket and walks towards the Jeep. Unlocking the door for Buffy, she opens it to shut behind the slayer before making her way around the vehicle to climb in from where Buffy had unlocked the door for her.
Buffy quietly watches as Tara drives towards the Chinese restaurant, enjoying the sight of the blonde Wiccan. Slowly coming to the realization that she cares more for Tara than just a friend, but knowing that Tara was still dealing with her feelings and hurt from Willow. Sighing quietly, Buffy turns to look out the window silently praying to the PTB to maybe, just this once, be on her side. To make their friendship something more.
***
Buffy growls quietly as she sees the bleached wonder making his way towards her. Having talked Tara into staying at home and getting some rest, knowing the Wiccan was tired between getting up early to go to school, plus being up late going out with her on patrol. Actually not even thinking about the fact that maybe Tara�s presence had kept Spike from approaching her.
�Hey, Slayer. Been wantin� to speak with you.� Spike lights a cigarette as he catches up to Buffy.
�There�s nothing to talk about, Spike. I don�t know why I kissed you, and it�s not going to happen again.� Buffy warns softly, her eyes sharpening as she pays more attention to her surroundings, as the vampire�s nearness throws off her slayer senses.
�There�s somethin� between us, Slayer. That kiss oughta told you that.� Spike growls, grabbing Buffy to pull her to a stop, blocking her punch as he leers at the slayer. �Gotta do more than that pet, to hit me.�
�Spike, you�re a vampire and soulless. You may think you love me, but you�re just infatuated with me. If that damn chip wasn�t in your head, you�d probably be more than willing to try and kill me right now.� Buffy growls as she pokes the vampire in the head. �Now, stay the hell away from me. There isn�t anything between us and there never will be.�
�What? You got somethin� goin� on with Glinda? Didn�t think mousey girl would be your type.� Spike snarls hatefully, his eyes gleaming yellow.
Buffy chuckles at the angry vampire. �I knew you were following us. And what of it? What if there is something between me and Tara? It�s none of your business!�
Spike throws his half smoked cigarette to the ground, crushing it beneath his booted heel. �No, it might not be any of my business. But there is someone whose business it is.� Spike smirks as he watches the shock cross Buffy�s face. �I guess it�s up to me to be letting Red know.�
�It�s not any of her business either, Spike.� Buffy snarls, the anger starting to come to the surface with a vengeance. �She fucked Tara over and the two women have split up. And not that it�s any of your business, but there isn�t anything going on between me and Tara right now!�
�Ohh� the Wiccy love affair has ended, has it?� Spike smirks at the thought. �Red finally gave Glinda the heave ho, eh?�
Buffy snarls and snaps off a hard right to the vampire�s jaw, knocking him down to the ground. �Don�t talk about something you have no fucking clue about! Willow lost Tara because she fucked with her mind. You ought to know what that feels like, Spike.� Buffy taps the toe of her boot hard into Spike head. �Now stay the fuck away from me and the rest of my family and friends. Next time you try to cause trouble, you�re going to meet the end of Mister Pointy.� Buffy warns, her eyes flashing with her anger.
Spike snarls at the slayer as she strides away. His hand rubbing his bruised jaw. �So Red has a pair on her, does she? Wonder if she�s wanting the bint back.� Spike smirks as he stands, pulling another cigarette out and lighting it as he watches the quickly disappearing slayer, smoking his cigarette in contemplation. �Maybe I ought to check into things a bit more.� Spike nods and grins to himself as he makes his way across town deciding a drink at Willy�s sounds pretty good right now.
***

�Damn that bleached blonde bastard.� Buffy growls as she stomps up the steps, still angry an hour later after her run in with Spike. Surprised when the door opens before she has a chance to pull her keys out, she sees the worry on Tara�s face. Calling herself a couple choice names, Buffy works on bringing her anger under control. �Sorry.�
�What�s wrong?� Tara questions worriedly, looking over the slayer, not seeing anything but a light bruise on Buffy�s cheek. Watching intently as Buffy steps into the house walking normally. She�s silently thankful that there obviously wasn�t anything seriously wrong with the small woman.
�Bleached wonder has been trailing us this past week.� Buffy finally mumbles her eyes on the floor as she pulls out her weapons, setting them on the coffee table for the time being, realizing she never told Tara about the kiss that happened after the whole singing fiasco. Sighing quietly, Buffy raises her eyes to look at Tara. �When you guys found out I had been in heaven?� Buffy starts and at Tara�s nod, even as the woman winces slightly, Buffy sighs. Knowing from talking with Tara, that�s when the blonde Wiccan had found out about the original forget spell Willow had done on her, not even thinking about the fact that Tara could be wincing about what had happened to her. �Well, he sung his feelings for me and admitted he loved me.�
Tara stares in stunned shock at the slayer. Her eyes wide open, not knowing what to say she continues to watch as Buffy fidgets slightly.
�After the whole thing ended� I went out to the alley where he was and we� kissed.� Buffy finally admits, wincing as she looks at Tara waiting for the look of disgust to come over the woman. Not seeing any change of expression, though having to admit she could swear she saw a hint of pain and hurt crossing her face before Tara closed her emotions down, Buffy sighs and continues. �Anyway, nothing else happened but tonight he wanted to push for something more. He also threatened to tell Willow that there�s something going on between you and me. I thought you might want to know, just in case something happens.�
Tara watches as Buffy seems to withdraw in on herself after she finishes talking. �Do y-you c-care for h-him?� Tara hesitantly questions her eyes shadowed as she watches Buffy start to walk up the stairs. Hoping in her heart that Buffy doesn�t care for the vampire, though honestly having no say in who, or what, Buffy might have feelings for.
Buffy stops and slowly turns to look at Tara. �I wouldn�t say that I care for him, or even that there are feelings so much, but I honestly believe if things had gone differently for me that I could very well have ended up taking him up on his offer.� Buffy steps back down, slowly closing the distance between her and Tara. �I had already decided to use Spike, if I had run into him the night of the forget spell. Lucky for me, I didn�t run into him and made it home in time to keep you from moving out. And in that one simple twist of fate, I was kept from doing something degrading and disgusting, possibly losing myself forever in the darkness to having sunlight in my life again.� Buffy reaches up to gently cup Tara�s cheek, seeing the tears gathering in her blue eyes. �Please don�t take the sunlight away from me for a lapse in judgment.� Buffy begs softly, her eyes searching Tara�s, quietly sighing in relief as she sees the sadness but also the forgiveness and caring being shown her after a few moments.
�Buffy, honey�� Tara gently shakes her head, reaching up to press the slayer�s hand more firmly to her cheek. �We all do things at one time or another that we regret. And maybe in h-his own w-way, S-spike may l-love you.� Tara offers softly watching Buffy intently.
�How can he love without a soul?� Buffy questions quietly and seriously. �Becoming infatuated with someone, I can see, but loving� no. It shouldn�t be possible, and I doubt that it is. Plus he�s too easily moved to do the wrong thing. I don�t want to become like him, Tara. I don�t want the darkness that�s fighting in me to win.� Buffy roughly admits, her eyes shadowed and filling with tears.
�Goddess, Buffy.� Tara finally wraps her arms around Buffy, gently pulling the slayer to her as the tears start to fall from Buffy�s eyes. Pressing her lips to the side of Buffy�s head, she closes her eyes and holds her tightly.
�Part of me wants to take him up on his offer, Tara. Something in me wants to wallow in his darkness.� Buffy buries her face tighter into Tara�s neck, wrapping her arms tightly around the Wiccan�s waist so there isn�t a single centimeter separating their bodies.
Tara feels the tears sliding from her own eyes even as she clenches Buffy even tighter. �We�re not going to let the darkness win, Buffy. I won�t lose you, honey.� Tara whispers, gently kissing Buffy�s head while digging her fingers into the slayer�s waist. Realizing the slayer is seriously rattled from her own thoughts and desires.
�Thank you.� Buffy breathes the words over Tara�s neck as she continues to soak in the warmth and caring coming into her from the Wiccan. �Meditating helps, is there something else we can do to help even more?� Buffy finally questions after a long time as she slowly relaxes into Tara�s embrace.
Tara slowly nods her head as she licks her lips. �There�s a cleansing ritual that might help purge the worse of it, along with helping to heal your fractured spirit.� Tara finally offers, unconsciously stiffening as she feels a quick streak of anger coming from Buffy, directed at her. Waiting for the slayer to say what�s on her mind, Tara closes her eyes.
Buffy fights the surge of anger she feels, quickly getting control of it, though she tenses, her hands slowly dropping from holding onto the blonde. �Why didn�t you bring this up before?� Buffy finally questions, wincing at her own cold tones.
Tara whimpers quietly as she feels Buffy pulling away from her. Dropping her arms quickly, she steps back, giving the slayer the room she�s obviously needing. Walking over to the mantle, Tara leans against it, while keeping her back turned to the slayer. �The cleansing itself isn�t the p-problem, but the r-ritual w-would b-be m-more than you w-would p-probably want to do.� Tara finally gets out over her heavy stuttering.
Buffy�s head snaps up at hearing the bad stuttering, her eyes narrowed on Tara not liking the fact that she won�t look at her, along with the stuttering making her more than slightly worried. �What aren�t you telling me, Tara?�
�You�re slowly g-getting b-better, Buffy. If w-we continue the w-way we are, you�ll eventually b-be better.� Tara speaks softly, finally looking at Buffy. Seeing the stubborn look on the slayer�s face, Tara sighs and looks back down. �It w-will allow m-me to be in y-your psyche, Buffy. To f-find the r-rift and f-fix it. But if w-we d-do this, a p-part of m-me will always b-be with you and a part of you w-within me. It m-may make a l-link b-between us to wh-where we�ll know the other�s th-thoughts, or possibly m-more. I�m n-not positive what m-might happen. And th-that�s why I d-didn�t m-mention it b-before.�
Buffy quickly closes the distance between her and Tara, feeling bad for the anger that had been directed at the woman that was doing everything possible to help her. �Easy, Tara.� Buffy whispers as she gently grasps Tara�s shoulder, frowning heavily as Tara flinches hard with her touch. �I�m not angry, Tara. Not anymore, and I�m sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt. I should have known there was a reason for you not bringing it up before.�
�It�s okay.� Tara shakes her head, shifting back a step from the slayer, effectively breaking the contact between them, feeling a deep hurt that Buffy obviously didn�t trust her. �I�m�� Tara waves towards the steps before hurrying away, deciding she�ll sleep in Dawn�s bed for the night, since it�s available.
Buffy reaches for the blonde a second too late. Watching Tara practically run away from her, Buffy�s shoulders slump. �Great, slayer. Just run off the one person that�s done everything she possibly can to help you. She stayed here and has gone out of her way to make your world right, and at the first questionable thing, you don�t give her the benefit of the doubt and get angry at her, like you can�t trust her. There�s no one more trustworthy than her.� Buffy sighs heavily as she looks up at the ceiling frowning heavily as she swears she hears Tara moving around in Dawn�s room. Not even aware of moving, Buffy takes the stairs three steps at a time to come to a halt outside Dawn�s closed door, knowing it was open earlier.
Tara feels the slayer�s turmoil coming from the other side of the door. Finishing changing, she wants to let Buffy know that everything will be okay, but her feelings are too raw and too hurt right now with the slayer�s perceived distrust. Pulling down the covers, Tara slides into the twin bed, already missing the feel of the slayer being curled up around her. Throwing her arm over her eyes, Tara fights the tears that want to fall. Knowing that sleep will be at a minimum tonight even as she realizes that the love she feels for the slayer has deepened and slowly is turning into her falling in love with Buffy. Whimpering quietly at the uselessness of what she�s feeling, Tara tries to think of other things to keep her mind off Buffy.
Buffy leans against Dawn�s door, pressing her hand against the wood as she listens to the softly whimpering Wiccan. Hearing the occasional sniffle and shuddering breath as Tara obviously tries to control her tears. Silently wondering what she�s done this time Buffy closes her eyes in pain. Pressing her back against the wall beside Dawn�s door, Buffy slowly slides down it and pulls her knees up against her chest as she wraps her arms around her legs. Resting her forehead against her knees, she unconsciously decides to stay as close as she dares to the Wiccan, silently contemplating what she can do to make up to Tara for her own shortcomings and lack of trust.
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