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Acquaintances	By : Tisienne Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 4765 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Part 6

�Been thinkin�, luv,� Spike said softly as he leaned against the kitchen counter, watching his beloved eat wheat bran for some unknown reason.
�Uh-oh� again? You know that never turns out well, Spike,� the brunette replied with a teasing grin.
� �ey!� the vampire played along, trying to sound offended, �I�ll have you know it DOES turn out well! Thought about you for years, didn�t I, an�� can�t say it�s been bad, yah?�
Harris chuckled, taking another spoonful of the vile fiber into his mouth and swallowing quickly. �And that�s one point for Mr. �I�m so tough except when I�ve got bleach on my head like a big GIRL�.�
Spike rolled his eyes and snorted. �That�s Mr. �I�m so tough except when my beloved�s got his cock buried deep in my ass makin� me beg�� ta YOU, Xan.�
Damn, Spike was really bad for his apartment, Harris thought as he sprayed a mouthful of wheat germ and milk across the kitchen. He choked slightly while he laughed, almost falling from his stool. �Shit! Don�t DO that!�
The blond smirked and passed his love a napkin. �You should be thankin� me, pet. That�s one less bit of� sawdust an� corn husks you have ta eat.� He shuddered. �Don�t know why you insist on swallowin� that stuff. It even SMELLS nasty. Don�t imagine it could taste like anythin� good.�
Harris grumbled, rubbing his eye and socket slowly, then his mouth with the napkin. �It doesn�t,� he said after a moment. �It actually tastes really, really bad. But it�s good for me, apparently, or that�s what my doctor says. So I eat it. Keeps me� regular and other human stuff like that. Just my way of saying a big NO to colon cancer, among other things.� He still couldn�t help making a face at the remainder of the brown gloop in the bowl.
�Right� an� that brings us back ta th� original topic.� Spike nodded, not entirely sure this was the right time� or even that there WAS a right time. �Been thinkin�, Xan. About you an� me.�
�Okay�� he tried not to look as frightened as he suddenly was. What if Spike was rethinking things? What if he didn�t want him any more? How could he manage to go back to the loneliness, the constant ache he hadn�t been fully aware of until Spike had eliminated it? Maybe� maybe he would have been better off if the memory spell had stuck. Then he wouldn�t be sitting here ready to just die inside and� �What about us?�
He could FEEL what his love was thinking. Feel the overwhelming heartache swamping the man regardless of his words. That was what had him across the room in an instant, his lips on Xander�s as he pushed his way down the bond. �Mine, always mine, never alone, never leave you, always need you, always want you, forever my beloved, forever my heart��
He held the human tightly, purring reassurance until finally he felt the man calm under the tender assault of lips and emotions. �Luv� pet� precious� what th� bloody hell was that?� he demanded, pulling back to stare deep into that warm brown eye. �Told you before, claimed� you�re stuck with me, alright? Couldn�t leave you if I tried an� I�m bloody never goin� ta want ta try. Got it, luv?�
Harris nodded shamefacedly. He truly trusted Spike. Always would. And Gods, he loved him so much. It was just that �Every time I love someone I lose them, Spike. I� it�s a pattern with me. So� when you say things like� you�ve been thinking about us, it just� hits that panic switch inside me.� He blushed. �As much as I loved Anya� much as I loved� still love Maria� I love you more and it just� scares the shit out of me that I could� Fuck, Spike! I can�t be alone again! And even if I found someone else and loved them, I�d still be alone because no one else is YOU!�
His arms tightened around Xander, holding him hard against him. �Luv,� he murmured, rubbing his cheek against the other man�s, �I�m not goin� anywhere. Not without you. An� when I said I was thinkin� about US I meant�� He sighed, wishing he had a third hand so he could rake it through his hair in frustration. �I�ve really bollocksed this up, haven�t I?�
Harris shook his head quickly, smearing a few wet tears across Spike�s pale flesh. �No� no, I� I overreacted, I guess. I�m just� not used to getting what I really want, Spike. And I� Gods, I still don�t understand why you�d want ME, no matter HOW much I want you!� He frowned suddenly. �Fuck. Maybe Buffy was right. Maybe I AM gay!�
Spike snorted and kissed his beloved softly. �Hardly, luv� but that�s somethin� ta talk about later. Unless you�d rather have yourself a bit of a girly cry?� He grinned when that question got the expected glare. �Right, then. Like I said, been thinkin� an�� He frowned and swallowed hard. �Don�t like this whole �human� thing, Xan. You said it yourself th� other night. You�re goin� ta get old an� wrinkly an� die one day an�� bloody hell, I can�t stand it!�
He growled and pulled away, pacing the kitchen agitatedly, avoiding the small square of sunlight beside the sink. �Don�t want ta lose you, pet. EVER. Can�t bear th� thought of puttin� you in th� ground an� never touchin� you, holdin� you, shaggin� you again!� He felt his demon face slipping out but he didn�t care. He and his evil half were entirely in agreement on this. �Want ta keep you with me always, precious! Ta have an� ta hold, blah-blah-blah, �til death do we part! An� I don�t want that death ta come� ever!� He was breathing hard and wasn�t sure he�d even explained anything but he couldn�t help it. All his carefully thought out words and explanations were gone, lost to him as the gut-wrenching terror of someday watching his beloved die swept through him.
And this was pretty much the opposite of what Harris had feared. Spike wasn�t trying to find a way to get rid of him. He was trying to find a way to KEEP him! The realization made his heart swell for a moment, but then it� deflated. It just wasn�t possible, and he knew it.
Harris sighed then got up and moved to the pacing blond. �Spike,� he said softly, one hand finding his love�s shoulder as his sorrow was reflected in his expression as well as his voice, �That would be� amazing. It really would. But� babe, I�� He frowned, looking away from the suddenly hopeful face. �I don�t want to be a vampire!� he finally blurted out. �I� the� the no sun and the blood and you KNOW I was never stealthy and I�m still not and Gods, I love you but I just� I LIKE being human and doing human things and I just� I�d be a really BAD vampire, right? I mean, what would I hunt? Old people? They�d be the only ones who couldn�t get away and I�ll bet they�d be all stringy and stuff and get stuck in my teeth and can I just say gross?�
�Knew I wasn�t sayin� it right,� Spike finally said with a small grin. �Don�t want ta turn you, Xan. Luv your heat, your heartbeat� your soul. Never want ta see those things gone, alright? No, don�t want ta turn you. Want ta Mate ta you.�
�Mate?� Harris echoed, his brow furrowing with confusion. His vamp had mentioned that before, but he�d always assumed it was just another way of saying he wanted to� �Um, Spike� we �mate� like five times a day� sometimes more. Or am I being an idiot?�
The vampire chuckled and pulled his love into his arms, holding him tightly and enjoying that warmth he�d mentioned a moment earlier. �Not an idiot, luv. Never that. You knew about claimin� so I figured you�d know about Matin� too. An� NOT th� kind we do all th� time.� He grinned and pulled back then hopped up on the counter, pulling his Xan to stand between his knees.
� �s like this, pet,� he said, staring into his human�s eye as his hands rested lightly at either side of the man�s waist. �There�s three stages of bindin�. Claimin�, which any childe can do but never minions, an� you know what that is. Feelin� each other�s emotions, healin� faster from wounds caused by your claimed. Fairly simple an� straightforward, claimin� is.�
Harris nodded and leaned closer, surprised when Spike shook his head.
�Need ta explain this ta you, luv, an� that means no distractin� your Spike, �ey?� He waited until Xan gave him a reluctant nod before continuing.
�Right, then. Th� next stage is Matin�, precious. Can only be done by a Master Vampire, an� maybe that�s why you don�t know about it. We tend ta kill humans who aren�t ours, not sit down an� have heart ta heart chats with them about what we do with our special ones, y�know?�� Spike smirked at a few fond memories from the old days.
�Um, Spike�?� Harris said softly, not wanting to interrupt but curious about something. He�d been wondering for years; maybe now he�d finally get an answer that made sense. �What�s the difference? Between a childe and a Master Vampire? Is it just age�?�
The blond arched a brow and chuckled. �Course not, Xan. A childe� a childe is made with th� intention of havin� a companion, not just a servant like a minion is. An� some childer can go centuries without ever becomin� Masters. A childe becomes a Master in his or her own right when they can ignore th� call of th� blood bindin� them ta their Sire. When they can ignore what their maker orders them ta do an� go their own way� or when they can clock th� bastard an� string him up then spend days shovin� hot pokers inta his side� an� other places.� He smirked again. � �s not an easy thing ta do, luv, but once a vampire can manage it, they�re a Master. An� Masters can do other things childer can�t do. Like claim someone an� then Mate ta them.� He nodded seriously.
�Oh� okay,� the brunette said softly, rolling that over in his mind. It made a certain sort of sense, after all. When a vampire could ignore the vampire who�d made them, they were their own master and maybe that was what the term meant to begin with. �Okay,� he said again, nodding as his hands rose to rest gently on Spike�s thighs, not distracting, just� seeking contact. �G-go on. Sorry. I was just wondering.�
Spike smiled and flexed his fingers lightly against his human�s waist. �Nothin� ta be sorry for, luv. If you don�t understand somethin� you SHOULD ask. That way you�ll at least know what I�m talkin� about, yah?� He nodded, reflecting his Xan�s motion. �Right, then.�
�Now, matin� is a bit different from claimin�. �s more of an exchange than anythin� else. There�s plusses on both sides of it. Th� vampire gets a bit of resistance ta sunlight. Enough ta cross a street at high noon without burstin� inta flame. Means if I stay in th� shade I won�t feel more than a slight itch.� He grinned, trying to imagine what that might be like. �Th� human, on th� other hand, experiences very slowed aging. Maybe a year for every fifty or so. An� perfect health. No cancers, no colds, no coughs� none of th� mucus-inducin� things you lot seem ta be so prone ta.�
And Harris had always believed that if something sounded too good to be true, it probably was. �Uh-huh� and what�s the catch, babe? Because if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it.�
The vampire sighed. �Catch? Try CATCHES, pet. Because there�s a whole soddin� heap of them.� His expression was very serious as he met the brunette�s gaze. �I� look, Xan. I want this. Not goin� ta try ta tell you anythin� different. Don�t want ta lose you, an� definitely not in fifty or so years. �s not enough time, luv. But you need ta have all th� particulars if you�re goin� ta decide an� not hate me later.� He swallowed hard, trying to smile.
�First off, when th� vampire gains that bit of immunity ta th� sun, you�ll get more sensitive to it. Probably need a 60 sunblock if you�re goin� ta be out in it directly for more than an hour or so, even with your skin tone. Goin� ta be hard for you ta go ta a doctor because you�ll heal even faster� almost like I do, an� not just from what I do ta you, but from anythin�.� He could see the glimmer of acceptance in his beloved�s eye and as much as he wanted to leave things there, he just couldn�t. �But none of that�s bad, Xan� still, Matin� �s not all puppies an� Christmas.�
Spike sighed softly. �Think about it, luv� you�ll be young an� in th� prime of your life for centuries� millennia, probably. But th� rest of th� world will keep goin� on their own time scale. You already know you�re goin� ta outlive our Lily� but you�ll live long enough ta see her grandchild buried once we find him or her� and her grandchild�s grandchildren, too. Your friends� the Slayer, Red, Ripper� Elliot� all of them, luv. They�ll age an� sicken an� one day grow weak an� die. An� there won�t be anythin� you can do about it.�
Spike sighed again, staring at his beloved�s chest. �That�s th� catch, luv� you�ll have ta watch life goin� by an� takin� those you luv away from you. An� you�ll never let yourself care as much for any other humans again because you�ll know how quickly their lives pass. An� you�ll feel guilty for havin� more time than they do. Guilty for luvin� me an� lettin� me be a selfish git by keepin� you with me just because I can�t stand ta let you do what humans do� an� that�s die. Only bright side is� you�ll be sterile. Won�t be able ta have kids an� have ta watch them die, too.� His eyelids closed over wet blue orbs and he growled softly. �Stupid fuckin� soul. Won�t even let me lie ta you ta keep you with me.�
Harris was stunned. That was the only word for it. Stunned. The idea of hundreds of years with Spike was� incredible. He would have said yes immediately but then� Spike had gone on. He couldn�t even begin to imagine what it would be like to stay young and healthy while watching everyone he loved other than the vampire just� die. Willow, Buffy, Dawn� Giles� Elliot� even his WIFE! Well, former wife, but still. It was� it was� �I� I love you, Spike� so much�� he whispered, �But I�� He shook his head suddenly, the rest of the meaning behind the blond�s words hitting him.
�Gods� you must have been so lonely. All this time� and that�s why you were such a jerk� Jesus, I get it now!� and he did. The vampire, even without a soul had been so� human. How could he let himself care when he knew everyone around him aside from his own kind would be gone in the blink of an eye? He couldn�t, Harris answered himself, and so he�d tried to be cold to the world around him, concentrating on his family and then even that had shattered and� �Spike� Gods, Spike, I�m so sorry��
He couldn�t believe the human was holding him. Not after what he�d told him. But he wouldn�t push him away. He would NEVER push his Xander away� not even if the bloke decided to pass on the Mating, which he fully expected him to do, Spike admitted silently. Eternal life seemed all well and good on the surface, but the reality of it was� well, it was often heart wrenching, to say the least.
His arms wrapped around the warmth of his beloved and he sighed despairingly. � �s not your fault, Xan,� he whispered against the soft skin of the man�s chest. �Just� don�t want you leapin� in without lookin�. Did that myself, what with beggin� for Dru�s bite. Glad I did, though,� he said quietly, �Never would have known you if I hadn�t. Never would have known what it was like ta luv you. Ta make luv ta you� ta be yours.�
Harris couldn�t help smiling as Spike�s head more or less burrowed into his chest. One hand slid up the long, shaking back to make a home in the soft blond hair while the other pressed at the base of Spike�s spine. �I can�t�� he tried to say then cleared his throat. �Babe, I� can�t give you an answer right now, okay? I� I need to think about this. It�s� a lot of information to take in at once.� He dropped his head, pressing small kisses atop the hair. �But I WILL think about it, okay? I� promise, Spike.�
And that was all he could hope for, the vampire knew, although he wasn�t REALLY hopeful. There was just about zero chance that his human would agree, considering the repercussions. Still, fifty or so years were better than none, and� he didn�t care what his Xan thought. He�d still want him even when he was a slack-jawed drooling old git. And Spike would never stop loving him. Not until the day he placed flowers on his grave at midmorning and joined his beloved in the earth as ash. And that would be just about seventy-two hours after his love died.
�Luv you, Xan,� he whispered against that hard chest, steeling himself to just another half century of bliss.
�Love you too, babe,� Harris whispered back, entirely unaware of what his vampire was thinking in that moment.

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(A/N: Well, my 'puter imploded last night. Fortunately, my sister had this fic and could send it to my old-ass piece of crap OLD 'puter. LOL As always, thanks to those who bothered to review-- in this case, TheShadowCat and Kat. Hugs and stuff.)
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Acquaintances