Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

After Death	By : addielogan Category: Angel the Series > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Cordelia > Angel(us)/Cordelia Views: 3020 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
It had been hours and Cordelia hadn't come
back. Angel wondered if she even would. Maybe she'd gone back to wherever she'd
been in the first place. He no longer doubted that she was real. Buffy and
Spike had seen her, too, after all.
Unless he was
hallucinating the whole damn thing, though the bruises left on him still from
the fight with Spike seemed real enough.
But what if it wasn't Cordelia? She hadn't
exactly been herself the year before. The atrocities Jasmine had committed
while controlling Cordelia's body still made him feel sick whenever he thought
about them.
And the things she'd said to him earlier�
Telling him that he wasn't a Champion, that the Powers that Be didn't want him
around anymore�would his Cordy ever tell him those things?
He remembered when Jasmine had said it had
taken arranging a miracle to allow her to come into this world. In that case,
she'd been referring to Connor's birth, but wouldn't a vampire becoming human
be a sort of "miracle," too? Cordelia had started appearing to him
shortly after what had happened with Spike. Could they be connected?
One thing in particular was tugging at his
mind. He had buried Cordelia� It had
been here, at the hotel, where he felt she'd be more removed from Wolfram and
Hart. Angel needed to know if she was still there, or if
she'd somehow found a way out� He didn't know which one to hope for, which one
would disturb him less, so he tried not to think about what he was doing as he
went down to the basement for a shovel.
He'd decide what to do with whatever he
found once he found it.
Angel had buried her in the garden. He'd
recognized the irony of placing her amongst the Jasmine when he'd done it, but
she'd always liked it out there. He'd marked the grave with a small stone, not
wanting to draw too much attention to the spot in case someone came snooping
around. But he knew what it meant, remembered the pain he'd felt the last time
he'd stood in that spot.
Pushing it away for the time being, he got
to work. He dug quickly, soon unearthing Cordelia's coffin. He dropped the
shovel as he stared down at that wooden box, uncertainty creeping up again. If
Cordelia was in there, then should he do this to her, disturb her in this way?
He told himself Cordelia would understand.
If something was impersonating her
now, she'd want him to find it and stop it.
He opened the coffin, his stomach turning at
the sight he uncovered. He got to his feet on the edge of the grave, looking
down. Cordelia was there, her beautiful face already in deep decay. It reminded
him too much of Jasmine's true face, and he shuttered.
"You dug up my grave? That's just�well,
gross and creepy both come to mind."
Angel spun around, glaring. "You aren't
Cordelia."
"I am more than she is now,"
Cordelia said, pointing to the open grave. "She's just what's left of a
lifeless body. I have the memories. I have everything that makes a person a
person."
Angel's brow furrowed, as if he was trying
to remember something. "Cordelia had a tattoo," he said after a
moment. "You don't."
"Yeah, I was thinking about getting
that redone."
Angel moved quickly, grabbing her by the
shoulders and pinning her against the wall. "You aren't her. Stop
pretending to be her."
"I'm not pretending. I'm Cordelia,
Angel�just like I told you. I'm just not in the same body anymore."
Angel loosened his grip on her, but he
didn't step back. "What does that mean?"
"When the body died, I left it. For
where they wanted me to go, what they wanted me to do, I needed to incorporeal.
I cut a deal that allowed me to be corporeal again for one day to set you on
your path again, and when that
apparently wasn't enough, I was able to convince them
to make it permanent. So I'm Cordelia�just in a new body."
"Is that why you don't look like you
did before you�" Angel swallowed, unable to bring himself
to say "die" where Cordelia was concerned. "Before you left."
"Yes. They let me choose my appearance.
I was really tempted to go with looking like Angelina Jolie,
but I figured I should just stick with me," Cordelia explained.
"You're younger."
"This is how you liked me best, isn't
it? I mean, not that you didn't always think I was hot, 'cause hey, I am, but this is what you liked
most." She ran her hand against his cheek.
Angel leaned into the touch. Her hands were
soft and warm, and the scent of them was unmistakably Cordelia.
But he was still having a hard time
accepting what she said as truth. It seemed too easy, the PTB just handing
Cordy back to him. They'd taken away so much�why would they give anything back?
"You're too powerful," he accused.
"What you hit me with earlier when you ran out of here�"
"Hello! Do you remember my floating,
glowing half-demon phase? I'm a Higher Being now, Angel. Not as powerful as I
was before I came back, but I still am one."
"No." Angel shook his head.
"It's too easy."
"Too easy?"
Cordelia replied, almost shouting. "Do you have any idea what I had to go
through to get back down here? This was far from easy, buster."
Angel stepped back from her. "Too much
doesn't add up. You can't be here," he turned and faced the grave,
"and there."
"I'm not," Cordelia said.
"That's just a body." She wrinkled her nose. "And
a pretty smelly one at that."
Angel turned back around, grabbing Cordelia
again and shaking her. "Don't talk about her that way!"
"Angel! I'm Cordelia. I'm not in there anymore. I'm in here. In this body.
Can't you see that? Can't you see me?"
"I thought she was Cordelia, too."
"I'm not Jasmine. I'm not anyone but
me."
Angel wanted to believe it. He wanted to
find comfort in her arms the way he had the night before. But he couldn't. Not
when he could still smell the rotting flesh of the body he'd buried not four
months prior. He pulled his hands away, stepping back. "You're not her.
You can't be her. Everything is wrong. Spike�Buffy�Connor�You.
None of it is right."
"You've made bad choice and these are
the consequences. I'm sorry, Angel. I know this is hurting you, but you can't
do the things you've done and expect to remain a Champion."
"Cordy wouldn't say that! She knows I'm
a Champion. She's the one�she's the one who always believed in me."
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe
in you."
"You're not her," Angel said,
shaking his head. "You're not her. She's gone."
"Angel�"
He backed up, holding his hand out.
"Go. I can't look at you."
Tears pricked Cordelia's eyes. "Angel,
please�"
"Get out."
"If that's what you want."
Cordelia walked out of the garden as Angel sunk to the ground, his face buried
in his hands.

***
*** ***
It was almost dawn when Cordelia went back
to the garden. Angel was sitting beside the open grave, staring inside. She
rested her hand on his shoulder. "If you stay out here for much longer,
you'll die."
"I don't care."
"Oh no you don't. I did not fight to get back here just to watch you
go up in flames. We're going inside."
He made no move to get up. "I thought I
told you to leave."
"You did. I didn't listen. Thought you
might do something like this, and I love you too much
to let that happen�despite your very thick head. Now get up before I have to
float you in."
He didn't pull his gaze away from the grave.
"She's there. You shouldn't be talking."
Cordelia sighed, kneeling beside him.
"Sweetheart, I'm right here. Let's go to bed, okay? You're tired."
Angel turned his head, looking into Cordy's
hazel eyes. "I want to�"
Cordelia caressed his face. "I know you
do. Can you accept that it's me, at least for right now? You don't want to be
dust. Not really. You're stronger than that. Just come upstairs and we can
rest. Doesn't that sound better? You can sleep in my arms, breathe in my
scent."
Angel glanced between the Cordelia beside
him and the Cordelia in the grave. He wanted what was being offered, wanted to
forget. When he looked at her, he saw Cordelia's face, and whether it was an
illusion or reality didn't seem to matter anymore. "I want to be inside
you," he said. "I don't want to think."
"Okay. If that's what you want, you can
have it. Just in the bed, away from the sun that'll be up
soon."
Angel nodded, rising to his feet. He turned
his back on the open grave, but heard the thud as Cordelia closed the coffin
lid. She stood beside him then, rubbing his arm.
"It's okay now, Angel. This is me. Cordelia Chase. And I love
you."
Angel took her hand. It was warm and alive,
and touching it let him push aside the thought of the corpse he'd been watching
for most of the night. He walked with her in silence to the bedroom, stopping
in the darkened room and waiting for her to make a move.
Cordelia stood in front of him, her hands
resting against his chest. "Stop worrying right now, baby. The worst is
already over."
Angel didn't say anything. He didn't want to
think, didn't want to talk�only wanted to feel. Cordelia seemed to know this as
her slim fingers went to the buttons of his shirt, unfastening them before
pushing the silk off his shoulders and to the floor. She knelt down then to
help him out of his shoes before ridding him of his pants as well. Her own
clothes soon followed his, and she then lowered Angel to the bed before coming
down to straddle his hips.
Before Cordelia could slide down on to his
cock, Angel flipped them over, wanting to be the one in control now. She
reached towards him, but he grabbed both her hands in his, pinning them above
her head. Angel then moved back on to his knees, using his free hand to spread her
legs wide and guide himself inside of her before falling forward again,
supporting himself on one arm as he pumped in and out.
His thrusts were rough, almost punishing, but
Cordelia didn't attempt to make him slow down or even fight to break her hands
free of his bruising grip. He needed this, needed a release from all the pain
and anger welling up inside of him. She knew her body could take it, and he was hitting her at a very nice angle�
Angel began to push in harder, twisting his
hips in a way that rubbed against her clit with every thrust. His pace was fast
enough that that stimulus seemed almost continual, and Cordelia wrapped her
legs tightly around his waist, moaning loudly. Her body trembled, and she could
feel Angel growing tense above her, knew he was close to release. She clenched
her internal muscles around him, and Angel growled deep his chest. The sound
sent vibrations through her body and pushed Cordelia over the edge as she
wailed in pleasure.
Angel leaned in as her orgasm strangled his
cock, his demonic features shifting forward. He came with a grunt and sank his
fangs into her neck. As the spasms stopped shaking his body, he pulled his
teeth away, his visage going back to human as he rested his head against the
valley of Cordelia's breasts.
Cordelia held Angel close, stroking his back
and murmuring softly to him until he fell asleep.

***
*** ***
Angel woke up to Cordelia gently shaking his
shoulder. "Buffy's downstairs. She wants to talk
to you."
Angel looked at Cordelia, blinking his eyes.
The night before came rushing back to him�his horror at finding Cordelia in her
grave and his eventual resignation to accept comfort from someone who he still
wasn't sure was the woman she claimed to be. He sat up, running his hand through
his hair. "I'll get dressed and talk to her."
Cordelia gave him a small nod. "I'll�stay
upstairs. Let you have some privacy."
"Thanks." Angel dressed quickly
and went downstairs to meet the Slayer, wondering what she could want now. He
thought she'd made her point clearly enough when she'd walked out of there with
Spike the day before.
Buffy was standing at the bottom of the
stairs, waiting for him. "Hey, Angel."
Angel was tired�emotionally drained�and seeing
Buffy wasn't helping that. "Cordy said you wanted to talk to me?"
"Spike and I have decided to get
married," she said bluntly.
Angel's eyes widened, his jaw dropping
slightly. The idea of Spike and Buffy getting married turned his stomach, but
he had no strength to argue it. "Oh. When?" he
asked.
"We haven't decided yet. Just that it's
something we want to do. Probably fairly soon, I'd suspect. We're going to go
to London. I want to go work with the other Slayers, get back into my
Calling."
Angel couldn't help but make a comment at
that. The idea of Spike becoming the trainer of a generation of Slayers was
just laughable. "William the Bloody in a building full
of Slayers. I guess if you think that's a good idea�"
Buffy looked irritated. "Angel, don't.
He's not the man he used to be. You know that."
"So why exactly are you telling me
this?" Angel asked. "Just felt like rubbing it in?"
"No. I wanted to make sure that you
understand that this is what I want. You told me once to find someone who could
take me out into the light. I have that now. And I'm happy. Can you respect
that?"
Angel thought about what she was asking him
to do. He couldn't see how being with Spike could honestly be what she wanted. Even
if they were really over and done with, the idea that Spike would be her true
first choice of a husband was not something he could fathom. "Just answer
me one thing," he said finally.
"What?"
"If I had been the one that the
Shanshu�" he began.
Buffy didn't let him finish before she
replied. "No."
It was one word, and it was all it took for
it to finally sink in. The way she'd said it, without any hesitation, told him more
than any long speech could have. He didn't understand it, didn't know what she
saw in that moron, but she obviously did see something. "That
quick of an answer, huh?"
"Yes. I love, Spike. I want to be with
him. The fact that he has a heartbeat now is just an added bonus. If the Shanshu
had been about you instead of him, then I'd be with a vampire right now."
Angel closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. He'd lost. He was still a vampire
and Spike wasn't, but that wasn't what had made the difference. She didn't just
want a human. She wanted Spike. She'd
told Angel back in Sunnydale that Spike was in her heart, but it was more than
that. He had her heart. "Then I
can respect that."
"Good. I don't�I don't want you in my
life right now, Angel. Maybe someday, I'll be able to see you as a friend, but
with all the hurt and betrayal�I can't right now."
Her words tore at his heart, but he knew she
was telling the truth. "I know."
"Then it's settled." Buffy turned,
walking towards the door.
One more thing tugged at Angel's mind, and
he needed to say it. "Buffy?"
She stopped, but didn't turn around.
"Yes?"
"You told me once you'd always be my
girl."
"I did. But I'm a woman now."
Buffy walked out then, into the daylight, a place he could never follow her. He
hung his head, knowing for certain now that he'd lost Buffy completely. She was
right�she was a woman now.
A
woman Angel didn't know.

***
*** ***
If you're actually reading this, please
review. This fic is being virtually ignored. Thank you very much to the few of
you who have been kind enough to review. That means a lot to me.
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

After Death