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Timeless Faith	By : norwalker Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3106 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
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Timeless Faith

By Norwalker

Part 6 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here
are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities
to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with "
Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the
last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up
where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does
life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more
to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope
you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know
yet).

WARNING: There is always the possibility of major
character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh).
Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an Alternate
Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between
Buffy and Faith never happened here. So
if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don�t give a crap about nothing
but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit
of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the
"dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence
happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations.
All the usual stuff.

"What do you mean, she doesn't remember anything?"
Willow asks. She's looking at Buffy, cowering in the corner.

" Nothing, Red. As in, she doesn�t know her name, your
name, my name�that she has a sister, a house, a life. I found her wandering
around Restfield, being attacked by ach och of vampires. She's still struggling
with the concept of vampire� she doesn't believe in them, either. She tried to
stop me from killing one of them, calling it murder. Nearly got me killed
" Faith looks at Willow with askance, " Getting the picture?"

"That's not possible" Willow says, defensively,
" I was so careful� I checked and rechecked everything. Nothing could've
gone wrong. "

" Well, something went wacky. This isn't the Buffy we
know" Faith says, walking over to the shaking girl. She gently takes her
hand, and Buffy winces. She looks and sees the wounds.

" God, you're hands. " Faith says," What
happened�" then it hits her, " I can tell you one thing you forgot,
Red." Faith says, her tone derisive.

" What?" Willow asks. She's feeling cornered, and
her anger is rising.

" Where Buffy was when you cast this spell. In a
coffin, buried 6 feet deep. She had to
claw her way out" She shows Willow Buffy's hands, which are badly cut and
bleeding, " I'm going to take her upstairs and bandage her hands".

Willow looks at Faith, her expres gui guilty and defiant at
the same time. She starts to follow Faith up the stairs until Faith,
exasperated, holds out a hand, stopping her.

"Right now she's got enough to deal with, don't you
think, Red? I don't need help bandaging her hands. Stay here. This isn't done
yet" Faith says, turning away and starting upstairs, leading the confused
Buffy with her.

" This isn't my fault!" She calls after the
departing Faith. She walks back downstairs, and goes to the kitchen, getting
herself a glass of water. She takes it with her to the dining room, where she
sits, sipping it, trying to calm down.

" it's not my fault" She says, in a lower tone, I
did it all right, Willow ponders, It would've been right, except for those
vampires attacking. One of them smashed the urn. Maybe that's what went wrong.
Maybe� it didn't have time to complete� it brought her back before all of her
essence could be combined. Some of her core must've been lost. But� damn� how
was I supposed to know there'd be a vampire attack? I suppose that was my
fault? The ritual was specific, it had to be at the gravesite, at midnight. How
could I avoid it? Maybe I shoulda brought Faith in. She could've stood guard,
keeping the bad away. NO! That's stupid. She woulda just objected, and made a
scene about it. Just like she did after she found out what we were doing. She
would've nixed the whole idea.

Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't have done it.
It certainly didn't turn out the way I wanted it to turn out. Maybe I shoulda
just let it alone. But I couldn't. I had to do something. Things just weren't
right. Look at Dawn. Stealing. That wouldn't happen if Buffy had been here. She
was miserable, acting out. Faith was miserable, too. I couldn't leave it like
. We. We all missed her, needed her. And I� we were sure she was in some hell
dimension, suffering torture. I couldn't leave it like that. I had to fix it. I
had to save her. I had to bring her back.
I did bring her back. Just�there are problems� But I can fix
this, I know I can. I� I'll research it, find some way to restore her memories.
I � there's gotta be a way�I know it. I can do this. I can make it right!
Faith's wrong, I did the right thing, I know it. I just gotta find the way to bring back her memory. I'll do that.
Then Faith can't bitch at me about it.

I'll fix this, I swear.

Willow sits, sipping her water, already trying to figure
ways to restore Buffy's memory.

Faith leads Buffy into the bathroom, seating her on the edge
of the tub.

" Let me see your hands" Faith says, gently.

Buffy shies away, the memory of clawing through the casket
and earth still fresh. She's still freaking about that; freaking about
everything. They were talking about her down there. Bringing her back from the
dead? This night, everything and everyone in it is too weird. She's starting to
panic, her breathing shallow and fast. She needs to get away� somewhere where
she can figure it all out. These people say they're my friends, but I don�t
know them. They could be lying, but why? I can't think� can't remember. If I
could only remember something�anything! She starts to moan softly, her panic and frustration reaching a
high. She starts to edge away , hitting
her head with her hands trying to make herself remember. But it's all too much.
She feels trapped, cornered. Faith tries to approach her, but she bats her
away, covering herself trying to hide. She needs to hide.

" Buffy� it's ok" Faith says, soothingly. She
approaches Buffy slowly, trying not to panic her further, " I just want to
help you. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to bandage your hands".

Buffy looks at Faith warily. She's tryio reo read her face.
She sees concern, and worry� but nothing bad. She calms a little bit, and holds
out her hands. They are cut, and bleeding.
She decides to trust Faith� for now, anyway.

Faith, seeing a change, moves back. Buffy goes and sits on
the edge of the tub. Her eyes are glued on Faith, watching every move she
makes. Faith fills the sink with warm water, and gets a washcloth and
soap. She moves to Buffy, and begins to
gently wash the wounds� Buffy wincing at times, withdrawing her hands�then
putting them out again. Faith takes it slowly and patiently, waiting for Buffy
to accept the care being given. Faith, all the while she is tenderly taking
care of Buffy, keeping her exterior calm, is seething inside. This is just
way beyond wrong, Faith fumes. She's helpless. She's like a child. She
doesn�t know who or what to trust, she's afraid of me. God, she's been lots of
things, but never afraid of me! She doesn't know me, not even a tiny bit. It�
it's like we've never been together! Strangers, we're nothing but strangers.

After she finishes,
she looks at Buffy. She's bedraggled and covered in grime. Faith decides it
might be best for her to shower, then put on the bandages.

" Buffy, I'm going to get you some towels and a change
of clothing. I think maybe you could use a shower?" Faith says, looking at
the docile woman.

Buffy, feeling grimy and sweaty, nods. She can still smell
the stink of the grave on her, and wants desperately to wash it off. Faith
smiles tightly, and gets up to get the towels and clothing. Buffy reaches out
and stops her.

" Thanks" Buffy says, smiling shyly. Faith gets up and leaves the bathroom.

As she's getting the towels, her insides are churning. She
feels like vomiting. This is worse.
100 times worse. God, I never thought I'd think this, but I wish she weren't
here� I wish she were still dead. Shit� that' s bogus. I want her alive� but not like this. NOT LIKE THIS!!! It's
� she's� this isn't Buffy. it's her body, but not her. Faith takes the towels out of the closet, and
has to count to 10 not to slam the door. She walks to the bedroom to get some
clothes for Buffy. It's a cruel fucking joke. Her body is here, but she's
somewhere else. I can't touch her without her wondering if I'm going to hurt
her. I look in her eyes, but their blank� at least where I'm concerned. This
�sucks. How'm I supposed to be with her, and not love her? How � god, she� it's
never going to be the same. She's� new. It'll be � torture to be with her, see
her, and not love her. Oh, god, I can't even think that way. I love her� but�
is that her? I hate this!!!! She
doesn't love me, she can't love me� I'm a blank to her. Goddamn you Red, if you
wanted to hurt me, you did. Big time. Big fucking time!!!!

Faith, wrapped up in her thoughts, enters the bathroom
without thinking. Buffy is just finishing her shower, stepping out. She squeals
in surprise, and Faith, red faced, backs out.

" Sorry, sorry�god, � ummm� just reach out through the door, and I'll hand
you the stuff" She calls through the door, feeling embarrassed. God,
it's not like I've never seen her naked before. SHE doesn't know that. This is
embarrassing and incredibly painful and stupid! I gotta have "letch"
written on my forehead. The door opens, and Buffy sticks her hand thinks No babe, your gorgeous� None
of that, Faith. That's so over. She
sighs, and walks in.

"Faith, you really don't have to do this" Buffy
says, quietly, " I can bandage myself".

" I want to" Faith replies, " It's no big, B
� er � Buffy"

" Why do you call me Bea? I don't understand that. " Buffy asks.

" Not 'Bea' as in Beatrice, B�the initial of your first
name. Kinda a nickname I gave you, I guess. Bad habit of mine. Do it with
everyone. Sorry, I'll try to remember�" Faith says, as she gets the med
kit.

"It's ok� kinda� cute, I dunno�but you can call me B,
if you want" Buffy says. Faith pauses for a second, turned away from
Buffy. She can't believe how that little thing
is affecting her. She furtively wipes a tear, and turns to Buffy.

" Ok, B, let me have your hands" Faith says,
kneeling before Buffy, who's sitting on the edge of the tub. Buffy holds out
her hands, and Faith notes the wounds are already closed, starting to heal. Slayer
healing is still intact. She puts some antiseptic on the wounds, which
elicits a small cry from Buffy. Faith carefully applies the bandages, and then
wraps them in tape.

&;Wel;Well, you're done. See, not so bad" Faith smiles
at Buffy. She puts the med kit away, and turns back to Buffy.

" So� are you hungry? Thirsty?" Faith asks,
solicitously. Buffy shakes her head, then yawns.

" A little tired" Buffy says. " Could
sleep."

"Yeah, it's
been a tough night for you. C'mon, I'll show you you're room" Faith says.
She leads Buffy to the bedroom they once shared. She turns on the light. "
Here we go� your room".

She looks around and smiles. " This is nice, " She
says approvingly. She notes the bed is unmade, and the clothes over the chair
by the vanity. Her brow scrunches up.

" Ummm� if I've� been gone� how come this room is
�who's been living in this room?" She asks, curious.

Faith stares at the floor, trying to figure a way around
this. She can't see one, so she tells the truth.

" We used to share the room, B" Faith says,
distantly. " While you were � gone� I used it."

"We shared the room? But there's only one
bed�how�" Buffy says, looking puzzled. She looks at Faith, who's blushing
a little, and turned away. It slowly dawns on her. " you meanu anu and�
I�we �?" Buffy asks, her voice almost a whisper.

"Not important, B. I'll get my stuff out tomorrow. I
can make something for myself downstairs, or something" Faith says, not
wanting to look at Buffy. Buffy, however , is staring intently at her.

"It's very important, Faith. It's part of my past. I want to know" Buffy says,
firmly.

"Sorry, B. I can't deal with it right now. Maybe later,
not now" Faith says, her voice low." It's past tense. Let it go at
that".

Buffy senses a wall
between them. She decides not to push it. She changes the subject.

Faith?" Buffy asks, " What were you and that other
girl�what was her name again?� what did you mean� "You're spell
worked" � were you talking about me?"

"Yes," Faith says, hesitantly. She's at a loss how
to explain this to Buffy. She doesn't believe in vampires. How'm I gonna
convince her Red is a witch, and cast a spell to bring her back? She
decides to just lay it out for her, " Buffy, I've got to tell you some
things that are going to hard for you to understand. Or believe. But it's the
truth, so please try to believe, ok?"

" Alright, " Buffy, puzzled, says. " I'll
try"

Faith sighs. "
About 4 months ago, you died" Faith says, calmly, " You saved all of
us from something really bad" She decided trying to explain Glory and Dawn
and all of that was not going to fly right now, if ever." It was�
terrible, Buffy. We all missed you terribly" Faith says. She wonders if
maybe Willow hadn't missed Buffy a little TOO much." Frankly it's
been bad here, Buffy, without you" Faith says, truthfully enough." I
know you have trouble accepting supernatural stuff, but � Willow is a witch,
Buffy. She's a powerful witch. She� well, she cast a spell to resurrect you
from death". She tries to read Buffy's reaction, but Buffy's face is just
blank� she can't tell if she's believing this or not. She continues, " I�
I found out earlier tonight what she was doing. When you didn't come back, we thought she'd failed. We left, not
knowing you'd been � brought back. That's why no one was there when you� dug
your way out." Faith stops. She didn't realize how hard it was going to be
telling this. Thinking of Buffy digging her way out of her grave, and being all
alone, not know what was going on, made her sick." I was out patrolling
when I came across you�with those vamps." Faith stops.

"Patrolling?
Are you a security guard, or something? I � you're not wearing a uniform"
Buffy says, confused.

" Umm� no, not
exactly" Faith says. How does she explain a slayer? God, this is murder!

" I was really dead?" Buffy asks. Trying to accept
something that just didn't make sense.

" Yeah� you were" Faith says. She looks at Buffy
to see if it's too much for her to understand.

" Dead" Buffy says, quietly, " But I'm alive
now? I'm not � well, like a zombie or nothing� like in the movies?"

" No� no� you're alive, Buffy" Faith says.

" Why can't I remember anything?" Buffy says,
plaintively, " It's just a huge blank. Why?".

" I� we don't know, Buffy" Faith says. She knows,
she so knows, " something must've gone wrong."

"Went wrong?" Buffy says, her voice sounding
funny, " Yeah, I guess something went wrong. I don't remember anything.
That's really wrong." She feels her face flushing, and is feeling angry,
" Why� why'd you do this� spell, if this could go wrong? It's � god, what
were you thinking? Do you think I like this? Not knowing my name or anything
else! It's hell, not knowing. Did anyone think about that? Did anyone
think?"

" Buffy� no one knew it would turn out like this�"
Faith says, defensively. God, what am I so defensive about? I didn't do
this! I didn't WANT this!

" I wish you'd left me dead! At least, it wouldn't be
like this." Buffy says, her voice beginning to rise. " Get out now,
please. Just leave me alone� get OUT!"

Faith, stung, backs away. She turns, and leaves thom. om.
She stands in the hallway, feeling like her body is made of stone. She can't
move. She's barely breathing . She
hates me. She despises me. The Buffy I knew, she's gone. Her body's here, but �
she's gone. She's not coming back. Ever. Faith feels like acid has been
poured down her throat; everything inside her hurts. She wants to cry, she
wants to break something, hurt something like she's hurting. Grief, pain and
anger churn through her, anger coming out as the winner. This is your fault,
Red. She� was happy. You brought her back, and she's damaged. You're not
getting away with this, Red. Don't even think it.

Faith, her temper boiling, walks downstairs to confront
Willow.

Faith finds Willow in the living room, sitting on the couch.
She's intently studying a book. A volume on magic.

ndifndif]>

" Faith, I think I can fix this. I just need to find�." Willow says, but
Faith interrupts her. She comes over, grabs the book out of Willow's hands, and
flings it across the room, hitting a vase, smashing it to pieces. Willow stares
at Faith, horrified.

"What� why'd you do that?" Willow asks, feeling
fear in the pit of her stomach.

"No more goddamn magic, Red" Faith says, hissing,
" Haven't you done enough?" She turns away, because if she looks at
Willow, she's going to hurt her� bad.

"What is wrong with you? Why're you so mad?"
Willow demands.

Faith is floored. Even after seeing Buffy the way she is,
Willow still doesn't get it.

" You even HAVE to ask that?" Faith retorts,"
You don't get it yet? You're supposed to be so smart, Red, figure it out. Why
would I be madmm?&mm?" Faith mocks her

" It's not my fault�" Willow says, before Faith
cuts in.

" Not your fault. Whose fault IS it then, Red? Tara? It's her fault? Is that what you're
telling me? Maybe it was Xander? Maybe he's the guilty one. Or Anya? Or maybe
the whole bunch of you. Tell me, Red,
who's idea was it? Who planned it? Who decided to play with forces she didn't
understand? WHO, RED?" Faith is so angry, her face is splotched with red.

Willow, never seeing her this angry before, backs away.

"Faith , calm down" Willow exclaims. " I can
fix this, I know it".

" Calm down. How'm I supposed to calm down, Red? You
brought back Buffy's shell. That's not Buffy. That's�" She stops, so angry
and frustrated, she can't verbalize. She breathes deeply and continues, "
She doesn't know who she is. And guess what, Red. She blames ME. Right, I'm the
bad guy� again! Why? Because I didn't stop you. I didn't know what little secrets you were hiding. I thought I could
trust you. You sure had me fooled, didn't you Red?" Faith is livid, "
You and your little plans to bring back Buffy. Why? Why did you bring her back?
What reason?"

" Because you and Dawn were suffering" Willow
says, her own temper starting to rise, " I saw you walking around her,
constantly out of it. You think you've been such a big help around here?"
Willow says, " think again, Faith. You've been so consumed with grief, so
in your own world, if not for me and Tara, Dawn wouldn't even be noticed, half the time."

"That's crap, Red, and you know it" Faith snaps,
" Dawn is everything to me. I'd never let her get hurt . You're just
trying to throw the blame on me. That's not gonna work, Red!"

" Really?" Willow rejoins," How about the
drinking, Faith?"

"What?" Faith responds, angrily, " What's
that got to do with anything?"

" That's real nice for Dawn, don't you think? I hide
the damned bottles I find, so she won't see them. But you think it's good for a
young girl to see her � 'guardian' drunk?"

"Dammit. I make sure I don't drink until after she's asleep!"
Faith spits out," Why kind of moron do you think Iyes"> Willow hit a big nerve. Buffy had so many times shut her out, and
Faith had made herself nearly sick trying to figure it. She remembers how she
was ready to walk on Buffy because of it. Now she hears that Buffy never felt
she could rely on her. That she was afraid if things got too tough, Faith would
just book. It's like it was a lie� three years of a lies. B never loved me?
How could she, if she never trusted me to be there through anything. This�this
has gotta be a lie! It's a fucking lie! But Faith feels the knives ripping at her heart. Buffy� God,
how could you feel that way? After all the hell we went through. It's just not so. It's just not SO!!! If you
didn't trust me, why did you want me to look after Dawn? Faith feels a cold
chill running through her, something she's not felt in a while. She despises
Will for trying to make her doubt Buffy's love.

" And yet" Faith says, her tone cold and hard,
dismissing Willow," When it came to the crunch, whom did Buffy choose to
look after the one thing she valued more than her own life?" Faith says,
her voice cold, hard and cutting. She looks at Willow like she's some kind of
specimen under a microscope. " Good shot, Red. You nearly did it. You
tried to make me believe that Buffy didn't trust me, or really love me. Well,
it failed." Faith , her lip curved in a sneer, looks at the Red-haired
Wiccan." You're pathetic. You're beyond pathetic. I've tried to be your
friend, tried for Buffy's sake, to care about you all these years, and this is
the crap you pull. This is what I think of you, Red" Faith hawks up saliva, and spits on Willow.

Willow loses it. She sees Red, and she sees the object of
her torment standing in front of her, mocking her, spitting on her. She feels
the dark power rush through her, and her eyes go black. She starts to mutter a
spell.

" Paro is res in incendia"

"Set this thing on fire!"

A fireball starts to form in Willow's hand. Faith sees it,
and her eyes go wide. She looks around for an escape. SHIT! I forgot. Don't
piss off the witch! Desperate, she's about to rush at Willow, when both of
them hear a voice from above

" STOP IT. BOTH OF YOU. NOW!"

Both look up to see a very angry Tara looking down at them.
Faith feels � relief. Willow looks like a child caught with her hand in the
cookie jar. She meekly mutters the counter spell.

"Permissum is incendia exsisto exstinguo"

" Let this fire be put out"

The fireball fades, but the tension in the room remains
strong. The Slayer and the Witch stand staring at each other, shooting daggers
at each other with their eyes. Tara, frightened(what was with the fireball?),
confused, angry and still fighting off sleep, descends the stairs and stands
between the two of them.

"Alright, the both of you" She says, in a tone
she's unaccustomed to using, " What in the name of the Goddess are you two
fighting about? You're so loud, you're gonna wake Dawnie up!"

Faith looks at Willow with a smirk on her face. " Go
ahead, Red. Tell her" Faith says,
her tone cold as ice. " Tell her ALL about it!"

"Tell me what?" Tara says, bewildered. She looks
at Willow for explanation

Willow, caught in the crosshairs, just stands there, face
sullen. She looks down and mumbles " Nothing ".

"Aw, c'mon, Red. Fess up. You were so damned eager to
'fix' it. I'm sure you can tell Tara what you did" Faith says, her tone
ironic.

"Faith? That's enough" Tara says firmly. Faith,
chastened, turns away, flushing. Tara turns to Willow, " Ok, Willow,
calmly" She reaches out, and takes Willow's hands in hers, " Calmly
tell me what this is about".

Before Willow can say anything, from up at the top of the
stairs, a voice floats down to interrupt them

" Me. They were fighting about me" Buffy says,
staring down at the group.

Tara looks up, and can't believe her eyes. "
Buffy?" She calls out, " Is that really you?"

" I don't know. I can't remember. That's what they call
me� All I know is I hate this. I hate all of this. I just want to get the hell
out of here" Buffy, angry and confused, rushes away, back to the bedroom
Faith left her in. They hear the door slam.

Faith starts to go after her, and Red has the same idea.
They're both stopped cold by Tara.

" NO. Stop!" She says firmly, asserting herself, " I think
you've both screwed this up plenty tonight. I'll talk to her!" She sees
that if she leaves, Willow and Faith will probably get into it again. She's got
to separate them. I wonder who're
the real adults around here, sometimes. Tara sighs to herself

"Willow, go up to our room, and wait there!" Tara
says. Willow hesitates, and Tara says, more firmly, " That WASN'T a
request! Go!". Willow, throwing one last angry look at Faith, trudges up
the stairs to her room. Tara turns to
Faith, and says, " Ok, what's going on here? Did the spell work? What did
Buffy mean?" Tara says, calmly but firmly.

Faith, as briefly as possible, explains the events of the
evening. Tara's eyes go wide at a few parts, then she quietly digests what
Faith's told her.

" I think you've both made a pretty hash of this"
Tara decides, " We have one frightened, confused woman on our hands, who
can't even remember her own name. Did either of you consider her feelings and
needs?" Tara asks. Faith looks at her hands. " No, I guess not. Look,
Faith, I'm not angry with you� ok, maybe I'm a little angry with you, and with Willow. I expected more from you. This
kind of behavior I expect from Dawn, not you two" Tara says. She smiles a
tiny smile, " Did you really spit on Willow?" She asks. Faith nods,
blushing. Tara half grins, " It was the wrong thing to do, but after what
she said, I can sorta understand it. Don't tell her I said that, though. I'll
deny it." Faith looks up, hopeful. " Look, you stay down here, and I
mean it. Stay here. I'll talk to Buffy. So far, I haven't made her feel too
strange. I hope I can ease her a bit. But you two� stop acting like children,
and start considering what's best for all. Got it?" Faith nods,
embarrassed.

" Ok, I'll call you WHEN and IF I need you, ok?" Tara says, quietly.

" Ok " Faith
says, feeling pretty stupid.

Tara gets up, and starts towards the stairs. She turns back,
and addresses Faith.

" Don't worry. Willow's going to hear about it,
too" Tara smiles briefly, turns and walks upstairs.

Faith sits down on the couch, wishing right now she were
anywhere but here.

Tara approaches the door to Buffy and Faith's room. She looks in on Dawn, who fortunately (Goddess
only knows how) is still asleep. She knocks quietly on Buffy's door.

Buffy opens the door a crack. She looks out, and sees the
strange woman who was standing between Faith and � god, what's her name?
Willow�yeah� that's it. She stands there, staring at her. She finally speaks.

"What do you want?" Buffy says, warily. She's tired of these
'friends' of hers. All she wants is to go.

"Buffy, can we talk?" Tara asks gently, " I
know you're confused and upset. I just want to help, if I can".

Despite herself, Buffy feels a sense of � trust?� something
good� about this woman. She opens the door wider.

" I don't know what there's to talk about. God, I don't
know anything. I�" She trails off, feeling incredibly stupid on top of
everything else. She sighs. " Come in, please" She invites Tara in.

The two women sit on
the bed. For awhile, their silent, just sitting and thinking. Tara sits,
rubbing her hands together, trying to think of what to say to Buffy. Buffy
sits, picking at her shirtsleeve, not understanding any of this. She wants to
understand; she wants to know. But she's afraid to know too. She has no idea what is going on, who she
was, or what any of this means. All she knows right now is she's afraid and
alone. So terribly alone; it's hell to be alone and not know who you are.

" Who are you?" Buffy asks finally.

"Tara " Tara replies, " I'm � a friend of
Willows."

"Oh," Buffy replies, &q do do we know each
other?"

" Oh, yes," Tara says emphatically, " We've
known each other nearly 2 years. We're friends, too".

"Really?" Buffy says, looking over at Tara
hopefully. Something about the woman's quiet confidence encourages trust in Buffy.
" I'd� I'd like that".

Tara smiles briefly at Buffy. They sit again, quiet for a
little while. Buffy turns back to her.

lasslass=MsoNormal>" Whuot;uot; She asks, " Why'd they � I still
can't understand this, but� why'd they bring me back?".

"Actually, Buffy, it was Willow that brought you back.
Faith didn�t know anything about it, "Tara says.

" Oh, " Buffy says, " Alright, why did Willow
bring me back, then?".

"It�s complicated, Buffy" Tara says, a small
pained expression crossing her face. " I don't have an easy answer for
you".

" You're the first one that hasn't treated me like
a 'tard" Buffy says, a slightly
angry edge to her tone, " Please don't start now".

" I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to make you feel like
that" Tara says, " I just meant, I don't understand it all myself. I
do know that Willow did have some good reasons for bringing you back. Your sister�." Tara is interrupted by
Faith.

" My sister?" Buffy queries, " Faith said I
had a sister. Kinda dumb, forgetting your sister".

" Would you like to see her?" Tara says

" Yeah I think I would" Buffy says.

They get up, and walk across the hall to Dawn's room. Dawn is still sleeping. They look in on the
sleeping girl.

" She's kinda pretty, isn't she?" Buffy says,
quietly. Tara smiles at her. She nods her head, indicating they should go back
to Buffy's room.

Tara continues her tale, " Dawn�that's your sister, and
Faith, missed you terribly. I think Willow wanted to ease their suffering.
Also, she was afraid that wherever you were, you were suffering torment. We
didn't know exactly where you were." Buffy looks very puzzled at this.
Tara sees that this is going to require some background.

For the next couple of hours, Tara fills in Buffy's life as
completely as she knows it. She is frequently interrupted by a less than believing
Buffy, who just can't quite get her head wrapped around all that Tara is
saying. Still, she finds she trusts her�certainly more than the other two
women. Finally, at the end of it, she sits there with her mouth agape.

" So, I died fighting some hell god, trying to save my
sister, and the world?� and Willow resurrected me? Using magic?" Buffy
asks incredulously. Tara nods solemnly. Buffy sits back, trying to absorb
everything Tara told her. This is
totally nuts she thinks to herself nobody has a life like that. It
sounds like a TV show. Or a movie, or something. Not like someone's life. They
must be crazy. But�how did they bring me back, then? DID they bring me
back then? What else fits? I just suddenly lost my memory and was buried for no
good reason? She looks at Tara, and
continues I don't think she'd lie to
me. Not deliberately. And she seems sane enough� but then, she lives with these
others. That doesn't exactly give her the bona fides, does it? God, this is
just crazy. I mean, I'd like to believe I'm some kinda super chick with super
powers that goes around fighting evil monsters and stuff. Kinda cool. But, it's
just totally silly.

"Tara, I � I don't want to hurt your feelings. I think
you've been straight with me� or, at least you think you have. But c'mon� think
about it. It just sounds too � insane to be real" Buffy says, a little
regretfully. She'd really like to believe it. But it's just too out there�

The memory of
earlier this morning kicks in. Faith battling those creeps that tried to
attack her. How�distorted their faces were� all crumpled like�and those teeth!
Like � vampires! � and how that creep Faith was fighting turned to dust� and
how she somehow broke that other creeps leg� just kicking it. Could it be?
Aw, c'mon, now you're going nuts. NO such thing as vampires and ghoulies and
monsters.

"Buffy?" Tara says, " Can I show you
something?"

"Sure" Buffy shrugs. Why not?

Tara pulls a trunk from the end of the bed. Buffy, curious,
comes over by her. Tara opens the lid, and it looks for all the world to be a
typical hope trunk� they usual keepsakes, etc. stored inside. Tara pulls off
the shelf, and underneath, there are � Crosses, stakes, holy water, and
assorted weapons.

"Huh?" Buffy says, looking at Tara, " What's
all this stuff?".

"Your supplies� yours and Faiths" Tara replies.
Buffy looks at it, and �gets an uneasy feeling. Like it's familiar� and not.
She reaches out, and picks up a knife. It feels�right. She turns it in her
hand, and examines it. It� seems familiar. Suddenly she drops it, and backs
away from the chest, her face fearful.

" Buffy?" Tara says, going to Buffy� but Buffy
begins to back away from her, too. This is just too crazy� too insane. It can't
be happening.

"No, no, no! You're lying to me, I know you are"
Buffy says, quietly panicking, " This � isn't� real!" She says,
backing into a corner.

" Buffy" Tara comes to her, not trapping her, but
just getting closer to her. " You felt something. I know you did".

"It�felt familiar� I� felt like I'd used it, a lot� but
that's just nuts!" Buffy says, her voice anxious, " This is all
insane. I don't know why you're doing this� but � " Buffy looks around the
room, feeling claustrophobic." Please� go away�now�".

Tara sees that Buffy is in overload mode. She walks to the
door, and turns back, " Ok, Buffy. You need time to think. But, if you
need to talk, or have questions, or need anything� I'm just down the hall.
Ok?" Buffy nods, but isn't really paying attention. Tara looks at her, the
sympathy written all over her face. She turns and leaves the room.

Buffy, feeling totally confused, wanders around the room. This
is crazy. CRAZY. Run�RUN NOW! Her
mind screams at her, but somehow she can't. Something in what Tara told her
resonates with something deep inside her. She can't remember any of it, it's
totally like a novel. But somehow, it rings true. The inmates have taken over the asylum. Run, girl, save yourself.
Or you'll be as nutty as they are! But�what
if it's not nuts? What if it's true? She wanders around the room, looking
at things. Some seem familiar, some don't. She looks at the pictures on the
mirror, on the dresser�all over the room. Here's one with her and that
red-headed girl�Willow�and some guy. Here's one of her with her sister, Dawn. Sister,
that's so� god, why can't I remember anything about her? Here's one with
her and Faith� kissing? She smiles. We DO look happy. I wanna be happy. She
wanders back to the trunk�looking down inside it. She picks up a� god, is
this a sword? � She swings it around, playfully�and it just feels
so�natural. A shiver goes through her� Slayer. You're the slayer. That's
gotta be a fairy tale. Doesn't it? She puts the sword back into the trunk, and closes it back up. She
sits on the bed, then lies back, frustrated. It's all too much to handle. God, what do I do now? Finally, exhaustion takes over, and Buffy
falls asleep, still trying to puzzle it all out.

Faith is currently sitting on the couch, wringing her hands
nervously.

For the last two hours she's been on tenterhooks. She's been
up and down, pacing, sitting� a few times she even climbed the stairs,
determined to go in and just talk to Buffy. She stopped herself, however, not
wanting to mess things up further. She felt guilty, even though she hadn't had
anything to do with Buffy's being resurrected. She'd let her anger get the
better of her, rather than take care of Buffy and her needs. She should've tried harder with Buffy, but
she'd been so angry with Red, she couldn't wait to come down and ream her out.

Still pissed at Red, though. No, not pissed�angry. Those
things she said to me� I'm so tired of this. I've tried for 3 years to be what
'they' wanted. I've worked my ass off making myself over into a 'better'
person. Gee, and what do I get? Heartache, pain and a whole lotta crap. Well,
excuse me for not being born in one of your little suburban houses, with the 2
parents and the two cars in the garage. Excuse me for being a street kid who's
had to fight just to live til tomorrow. Excuse me for making something more of
myself. Excuse me for daring to love your 'friend', Red. Believe me, wasn't my
choice to fall for her. But I did, and I'm damned tired of having to defend it
all the fucking time. Especially to you!!!! Get OVER it, Red. Like it or not,
she loved me back�much as she could. Looking down your nose at me? Please give
me a break. You're not such hot stuff, kiddo. You got no right to make me feel
like you did, tonight. You got no right to think you're better than me, because
girlfriend, you want to add it up at the end of the month, I'm the one
supporting this household�by far. I'm not going to some college and working
part time to 'contribute'. I'm makin' sure there's food on the table, lights on
when you hit the switch, and all the other collected little things that make
life go. If it weren't for me, girl, you'd be askin' mummy 'n daddykins to be
helpin' out, trust me!

And remember, little witch, it wasn't me that screwed up
that spell. You fucked it up, so if I get over the top mad, you better not
threaten me again, girl. Or I'll�.

At this point, she hears a noise, and looking up, sees Tara
coming down the stairs. Swallowing her rising temper, she goes over to her.

" Is she ok, Tara? Is she �feeling better?" Faith
asks, concerned.

" Let's sit down, Faith. We need to talk a little"
Tara says, heading for a chair. She's frankly tired. She's not used to keeping
a conversation going for 2 + hours, never mind it's late and her sleeps been
interrupted. And she's worried about Buffy, Faith and Willow. And Dawn.

" I've calmed her down, but she's still very freaked
out over this, Faith" Tara says, " She still can't bring herself
to believe half of what I told her,
though it's the truth. She's scared. She doesn't understand what's going on�you
can't blame her"

"No, of course not. It's gotta be so� weird for her.
Hell, if it happened to me, I'd probably running away 'bout now" Faith
says. She adds, muttering to herself�almost inaudibly, " Like anyone would
care".

Tara looks at her, surprised. " I'd care, Faith"
She says, quietly. Faith blushes. She didn't really mean for her to hear that.

" Yeah, but I'd betcha Red would be dancin' if I
happened to disappear" Faith says, a little bitterly.

"Faith, " Tara sighs, " Willow doesn�t hate
you. She just doesn�t get you, is all ".

" Yeah, well� I don't get her, either. She acts like
she's better than me. Like I'm some kinda sponge, not pulling my weight. But
I'm the one makin' sure things go around here, working full time and patrolling
every night. Think that's a breeze? I try to cut her slack, why can't she do
the same, huh?" Faith asks, " What do I do to deserve getting made to
feel like some kinda pond scum?"

"Faith" Tara says, " Unfortunately, you both
are so alike, it's �eerie. You both are protective of those you care about,
you'd go to the wall for them, and you both got big hearts. Just for some
reason, you rub each other the wrong way, and you can't get along. Problem is,
you gotta find a way. Both of you. The
sniping at each other's gotta stop. We got both Dawn and Buffy to worry about
now. You got to try to settle this".

"I'll try" Faith says, reluctantly, " But I'm
done putting up with the crap, Tara. I've done my best to get along here, she's
gotta put out a better effort. I'm really tired of feeling like I gotta
apologize for who I am all the time.
I'm not exactly slackin' around here, and I don't like being made to feel like
I am." Faith pauses, working to
keep her temper from rising." And I really don't like takin' the blame for
something I didn't do. She screwed this up, Tara. She never shoulda done it in
the first place, and I so don't like her makin' me feel like it's my fault.
"

"She's going to hear about it, Faith" Tara
says," Trust me on that. Maybe not tonight, because frankly I'm exhausted.
But I'll make sure she understands that she's gotta do better too. A lot
better."

" I'm sorry, Tara" Faith says, contrite, " I
should let you get to bed".

" No, we've got a little more to discuss about Buffy,
Faith" Tara says, " Best to do it now, while we have a little time. Faith, I know in the past you've been
patient with Buffy, but you're gonna have to be even more patient now. She
simply isn't the same person anymore. If we're gonna even recover a little of
who she was, we have to be extremely patient with her, especially now. I think
she's still at her core, the same person, more or less. But she's different
now. All her relationships with all of us are not the same. She's gotta test it
out, see what's what." Tara stops, because the next part is the hardest, "
Faith� you're going to have to prepare for the possibility that your and her
relationship is never going to be the same".

Faith closes her eyes, and bows her head. " I know
that, Tara. I kinda got that when I realized she didn't know who the hell she
was, or I was, or anything. " Faith's voice grows cold, " One thing,
though. I can't forgive Red for this one. She took Buffy away from me. I didn't
have much, but I had my memories of her. Now those are shot, too, because she's
alive. And she'll probably never love me again. And that's Red's fault, pure
and simple. I won't� I can't forgive her that!". Faith looks up, her face
set. Tara bites her lip. She's never seen Faith this �. Unbendable before. It
worries her.

"Faith, please, don't rush�" Tara starts, but
Faith cuts her off.

" No, don't Tara. Don�t try to defend her on this
one" Faith says, " I'll do my best to get along, but frankly, if I
never saw her again, it'd be too soon". She turns away, heading for the
couch.

" Faith, please" Tara says, following her. Faith
turns around.

"Tara, Goodnight. This isn't open to discussion now� or
ever" Faith sits on the couch. " I'm tired, you're tired. Lets just
leave it alone, ok?" Faith says, cutting off all further discussion.

" Goodnight, Faith" Tara says, knowing Faith isn't
going to listen to anything she says on the subject. She turns for the stairs.

o:p>

She suddenly feels a whole lot more tired.

To be continued.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Timeless Faith

Timeless Faith