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Complicated	By : EmeraldGrey Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 2549 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
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- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 5
- 6
- 7
Title: Complicated Chapter 6...Something more than

Dedications: *See previous Chappys. But, this Chappy, I blame on Mad Poetess.lol

I was checkin' out her new site, it is awesome! Love the Picci's! She re-Vamped it.2-kewl! I saw 'IF'...well, that got me ta thinkin' 'bout oldies songs, David Gates and Bread in pertic. Thus, the meat...lol of this Chapter, is 'Bread' and their amazing lyrics, and how they 'move' a certain Master Vampire & a sexy Construction Foreman...lol...

Key: *Spike's thought's*

~Spike's Soul's thought's~

^Spike's Demon's thought's^

@Dawn's thought's@

{Xander's thoughts}

# Song (s) By: Bread... Make it With You..... It Don't Matter To Me.

Baby I'm-A Want You...IF...Everything I Own...

Sweet Surrender...#

**********************************************************

Sunnydale California, 8:30 am, International House of Pancakes...or, 'I HOP'

The waitress has just seated Xander and Dawn. The name on her nametag says 'Shirl' who plops down two menus and then returns with two glasses of ice water.

As 'Shirl' is reaching into her deep black wrap around apron pocket, she eyes the couple before her.

Flipping back the order pad, and readying her pen, her curiosity getting the better of her, she asks, "You two sure are a cute couple. You married or something?"

Dawn's tinkling laugh only causes Xander to blush harder, as reaching for his water glass, his fingers fumble it, and the glass spills icy water all over the table, and waterfalls onto his legs, giving him a lapful of icy goodness.

"Okay!" he squeaks. "I know I'm sure awake now!" he sputters, as the chilly substance winds it's way down his jeans front, soaking his thighs.

"Geezes! Xander!" Dawn exclaims, laughing so hard, she's about to pee.

"Already had my bath, Luv." As she mimic's Spike, she notices the blush deepening.

Shirl in the mean time is, 'tisk...tisking her way to the waitress section, to get a towel to clean up the clumsy young man's mess.

After wiping the table clean, she offers Xander a dry white towel, which he takes, mumbling his thanks, avoiding her eye contact, as he dabs at his wet clothes.

Dawn giggles, and says, "Shirl, I'm ready to order!"

Shirl takes both of their orders, and then returns with a fresh glass of water for Xander.

As she is leaving to put in their order, Dawn pounces on Xander, well, verbally speaking.

"Okay, so, 'what's the what' between you and Spike?" She asks eagerly, her pretty sapphire eyes sparkling mischievously.

Xander blushes, (again!) and, he clears his throat, takes a drink of water, then, he says, "Um, well, we have known each other for a long time Dawn."

Already knowing the answer, Dawn smirks, "Really? How long is long time?"

Xander, sighs, toys with the saltshaker, then the pepper, he straightens out the pink sweet&low sugar-free packets, musing on how his life is now 'sugar free. {No kisseys for Xanny.}

Then, a slight smile is playing on his mouth, as he raises his fingers to his lips, he remembers the 'almost kiss' from Spike this morning.

Their lips had been so impossibly close. He could feel his own breath bounce back in his face. So close, he could see the changing iris's of Spikes eyes...deep ocean blue�edged in gold...he was so close, he could see his reflection...Spike's soul...

"XANDER!"

And, just like she did this morning, Dawn was interrupting his almost kiss in his mind, just like she did for real when he was living it, in Spike's bed. With Spike hovering over him, mere moments away from touching, tasting...

"Yes Dawn?" He asked patiently.

"I asked you a question!" She replied, annoyance at being ignored, clearly written all over her little features, as she sulked, and sank back into the booth seat, her slender arms crossed over her chest.

She looked so cute!

Xander had to smile,

{She even pouts like Buffy.aww}

But, Dawn Summer's was NOT amused.

@Stupid Xander! He's treating me just like Spike did last night! I'm not a damn baby!

I can, um, talk 'bout grown up stuff, like, um, sex an stuff...ggrr@

Out loud she said, "Okay, enough with the pussy-footin' around. Just answer the question!"

Xander looks at Dawn, really looks at her.

He sees a young girl, blossoming into a young woman. Although his memories of her childhood, of his taking her places for ice-cream, to the park, and to the movies, just most of the memories, yeah, Monk-made...BUT, these memories, like now...these were real...

Xander smiles at her and says, "Well, Dawn, I was, um, about a year older than you, when I first met him."

Dawn could not help it, leaning foreword, she bounced, as she put her hands on the table, and touched his.

"OMG!" She said.

@ Spike was right! Wow...@

Xander grinned. He really liked Dawn, she was more open than Buffy, she wore her heart on her sleeve the same way, but, Dawn had more insight on people, than her Slayer Sister.

{Must be the whole I'm really a green glowy-key thingy, that has existed before the written word thing.}

It didn't matter what she ONCE was, all he cared about, all he knew, was that, like Spike, he would gladly give up his own life to protect every hair on her little auburn head. The love he felt for Dawn was like a big brotherly-fatherly relationshipy- thingy.

But, even though, Xander had her promise, her word AND her pinkie swear, he still felt a little uncomfortable talking about his relationship, (or lack of one) with Spike.

Knowing her weakness, (cause, just like her Slayer Sister before her, the Dawnster could sure shop!)

Xander smiling again asked, " Okay, what pray tell, is it that you want to get at Hot Topic?"

Grinning, Xander's love life or lack of, forgotten momentarily, Dawn launched into her favorite subject, shopping!

"Well," she giggled, happy to be the focus of all of his attention once again, "Um, they're called 'bondage pants'."

As she leaned foreword and gave him a purely Spike look, complete with waggled eyebrows and all, Xander laughed.

In fact, she filled him in on lots of things. Things he KNEW that she would only confide in him...Or in Spike.

*************************************************While, back at Spike's apartment>>

Spike could not sleep.

He needed a shower, he needed some blood, he needed a blowjob, or a hand job...

He felt restless, and bloody bored. And�old.

For the first time in his entire existence, Spike, felt old. Tired.

But, it wasn't a physical type of oldness, or tiredness. It was purely mental.

He was just emotionally exhausted. Between the constant head games from Buffy, and especially the ones from 'him', from Xander, He was wearing thin.

For years now, Xander had led him on a merry chase. And, Spike had conceded that Xander was young, and he had wanted him to be sure before getting into a relationship with him, because Spike had wanted 'forever', something most humans, let alone a teenager just could not commit to.

So, Spike had waited, and watched. He had waited for Xander to go through the painful steps of adolescence, and then, had watched as each time, Xander's tender heart was puréed, with each and every misfit relationship.

Spike had always been there for him, no matter what, always, no questions, just a shoulder to lean his silky sable head upon, and had offered him the shelter of his strong arms. Back then it had been enough.

*But, now? *

Sighing, he sat up, and then getting up, he walked to the bathroom, his bare feet softly padding his way to the thick sea-foam green bath-mat.

He decided instead to take a bath. Turning on the silver taps, finding just the right temperature.

(Duh! Hot!)

He then went into the living room and picking up the slender silver remote, switched on the stereo.

Soon, he was covered in the soft sounds of a station he still sometimes listened to, 'Sunny-100.9', Sunnydale's oldies station. "For Special Times, & Memories To last a lifetime, Sunny-100.9"

Spike liked listening to it, because it brought back happy memories of a time when Xander needed him. This being Xander's favorite 'oldies' station, the Vampire had eventually learned to tolerate it, and even to have his own 'favorites' of the classical pop/rock genre.

He smirked, as he thought about the reaction Xander would have, if he knew he 'still' remembered.

Shrugging to himself, he then wandered into the tiny kitchen, and readied himself some blood.

Checking again to see if his tub was full, (which it was not yet,) he quickly drank down the cup, then washed, rinsed and set it in the drainer.

Walking back into the bathroom, stripping off his boxers, he cut off the taps, and slowly sank into the hot, wet, warmth of bubbly heaven. The calming scent of an ocean breeze filling his senses.

Leaning back his head, he closed his eyes, as he let the music and the singer take him away, and back into the past.

# Hey, have you ever tried, really reaching out for the other side? I may be climbing on rainbows, but baby here goes...#

# Dreams, they're for those who sleep, life is for us to keep, and if you're wondering what this song is leading to...#

# I want to make it with you...I really think that we could make it, 'girl'...#

Spike snorted.

*Bloody hell! The whelp would have his knackers on a stick, if he even knew that sometimes, sometimes...*

Xander was so beautiful. And, Spike just could not help but notice, the way his soft brown eyes, and long thick black lashes caused him to hitch his breath.

* The way that perfect mouth, the same mouth that had been SO close, so bloody damn close to kissing him, once again...*

*And thank you Dawn! Gggrr...*

Spike instead, slipped a bit lower in the tub, deciding to replace the 'girl' in the songs lyrics with 'boy'. Smiling to himself, he enjoyed the rest of the hauntingly soft song.

# Though you don't know me well, and every little thing only time will tell...If you believe the things that I do, then we'll see it through...#

# Life can be short or long, love can be right or wrong...And, if I chose the one I'd like to help me through...I'd like to make it with you...#

# I really think that we can make it, 'boy' #

# Baby you know that...Dreams...They're for those who sleep...L i... f...e, is for us to keep...And if I chose the one I'd like to help me through...I'll like to make it with you...I really think that we can make it, 'boy'...#

Spike frowned, as the announcers voice interrupted his happy thoughts.

"And that was David Gates & Bread, with 'Make it With You', on Sunny 100.9!"

This is Jeff Barston, signing off now, and making way for Tabby Everrette!

Be sure and join me tonight at 8, for Sunny 100.9's 'Soft side' where we'll play all of your requests, and tonight's featured band, (one of MY personal favorites!) BREAD! See you soon!" (Laughs...)

Then a pretty feminine voice takes over...

"Good morning Sunnydale! This is Tabby Everrette! Thank you for tuning into Sunny100.9, where we have all the oldies, all the time! Now, here's Chubby Checker with, The Twist!"

"COME ON, BABY! LET'S DO THE TWIST! COME ON BABY..."

Spike growls, he is up, and out of his tub in a flash, he reaches for the remote, and clicks it off.

*No bloody way am I gonna wank me 'chubbie' to Chubby! *

*That's just, EWW! *

Spike sighs as, looking down, he realizes it doesn't matter any more, cuz there is nothing there to wank.

He walks back to the bathroom, and finishes his bath in silence.

************************************************* Back at the I HOP*****

Dawn is on her third pancake, and she is liberally pouring thick rich strawberry syrup, and then maple syrup, and then topping it all off with pecan syrup.

Xander shudders, and then shrugs.

Remembering he was just as weird as a teenager as Dawn was.

{Hell, he'd like to mix different cereals together! Wait a min. He still mixed different cereals together.}

As their breakfast comes to an end, Shirl brings him the black platter; he places his credit card on it, and waits for her to return with the authorization slip and a pen. When she does, he signs his name with a flourish, smiles at her, telling her to bring him the change over for her tip.

She grins, and then goes to the cashier to do as he has bid.

Dawn excuses herself for the fourth time.

Bathroom break.

{Geeze! Girls sure to go to the restroom a lot.}

So, Xander has another cup of fresh hot coffee, and waits.

When Dawn returns, her makeup is refreshed, new lip-gloss, her hair neatly combed.

Eyes shining, she says, "Let's go hit the Mall!"

Shirl returns with his card. Xander stands up, and her black eyes trail up and down him admiringly.

Winking at Dawn, she says, "Honey, if I was YOU, I'd keep this one chained to my bed!"

Xander blushes, and pushes a couple of twenty's into her work roughened palm, and taking his card from her, shoves it into the back pocket of his tight black jeans.

Dawn just laughs, grabs his arm, and winking at Shirl suggestively says, "Well, ya know, ya gotta feed em sometimes?!"

At Xander shocked, "DAWN!"

She laughs even harder, allowing herself to be practically pulled out of the restaurant.

********************************************Back at Spike's***

After his bath, Spike had decided there was nothing on TV even after flipping through his 100-plus cable shows. As he was still tired, he went back to sleep.

****************************************************** While at Sunnydale Mall***

Xander was TIRED! He was whipped, purred, and blended. Dawn had drug him through every ONE of the 65 little shops that were housed inside the monstrosity that was the Sunnydale mall.

He had long given up saying the 'N' word to the over-hyper teen.

{She wouldn't listen anyway!}

Soon though, Xander had quickly summarized, enough. Time to go. As he carefully balanced their second load of stuff, that Dawn could "simply not live with out!"

Xander had to laugh. She sure loved to shop!

But, it was getting late, and he did not wish for Buffy to worry any more than she usually did about the bubbly girl.

This time, not even the well practiced Summers pout, would win her anymore time.

Someone here had to be the adult!

"Okay! And thus ends the Xander's all day Mall special, thank you for shopping, the bus is now leaving."

Dawn, realizing that THIS time, he meant business, sighed, and, followed him out of the huge double doors, towards the car that now resembled Santa's sleigh.

As Xander un-locked it with his key chain motion detector, he then pushed another button, this time, popping the trunk.

He haphazardly stacked his entire burden in the back, and closed it with a snap.

Wading through the many paper-handled bags, he pushed more stuff over to make room for her, shoving more into the crowded back.

She giggled as he leaned over to buckle her in, then, opening his door, got inside, and buckled himself in too.

Once they arrived to her home, Buffy, who had been watching by the window, ran out the door to greet them.

"Whew!" Xander exclaimed, as the last package had been taken inside.

Buffy, slender arms crossed over each other, eyed her little Sister, arching one fine brow, remarked, "Do ya think ya left anything for anyone else to buy, Dawnie?"

Dawn, just stuck out her tongue at her, hugged Xander with surprising strength, and told him, " I So LOVE YOU!" She squealed, and had flounced up the stairs, to her bedroom, to look through her sizeable 'bounty'.

As the door slammed, the young adults laughed.

"Well, home safe and sound, I took her to I HOP for breakfast, then, later on, in-between mall 101, we grabbed some Chinese, so, all's ya gotta fix is din-din..."

Buffy's reply was interrupted by Dawns wail.

"Crap! XANDER!!! I need you to take me back to Spike's! I forgot my book bag!"

Dawn smirked, because she really hadn't forgotten anything, oh, no, she had done so on purpose.

Buffy shot a look at Xander, who just blushed, and took a sudden interest in the toes of his boots.

He sighed, yelling up at Dawn, "S'okay, I've gotta go stop by Willy's an' grab him some blood, um, I'll get your bag, and bring it back to you, K?"

@ BINGO! @

"K" She sang down to him, slamming the door once more.

Buffy just shook her head, mouthing the word, 'Teenagers!" As Xander, after a quick hug, walked out the door, got into his car and left her standing on the porch, a thoughtful look on her pretty face as he drove away.

***************************************Willy's bar*****

Once Xander got to Willy's he relaxed.

He ordered the blood from the little man, and smiled as he accepted the offered Whiskey shot.

They chatted for a bit, Xander paid for the cooler, then he left.

*************************************Back at Spike's***

Xander balanced the edge of the cooler with one hand, knocking on the door with the other.

Spike opened the door, and grabbed the edge of the cooler, before it crashed to the floor.

Xander closed the door with his foot, as they both carried it to the kitchen, placing it onto the table.

Wordlessly, they emptied it together, placing the bags into the small refrigerator.

The silence was so tangible.

Like a large blanket, covering them, preventing them from talking.

Awkward, stifling.

Xander, empty cooler in hand, shifted from foot to foot, looking at his own feet.

{Dammit! What should I say? Wow, Spike, let's just get naked and finish that kiss, hey buddy? C'mon...Whatchasay?}

Spike watched him, feeling as frustrated as the waves of frustration that were seeping from Xander.

*It has to be HIS move. If I push him, he'll run, just like he always does. Gods look at him, I just wanna...*

"Spike?"

"Yes Xander?"

"UM, er, Dawnie, ah, left her stuff, she er, asked me to, um, pick it up for her..." He trailed off.

{PICK UP! Hell, I wanna pick HIM up, and, just...} Inwardly, Xander groaned.

"Oh, yeah, um, right, that, ah, it's in the living room, on the couch," He replied, walking over and getting it, placed it in Xander�s hands, his finger tips lightly brushing against them.

Inwardly he smirked at Xander�s slipped moan.

*Oi! Not as Bloody immune ta' me as ya'd like for me to think, eh, pet?*

Xander smiled, and took the bag.

The awkwardness just kicked up a notch.

{How did we get here? Why won't he say something, kiss my ass, suck my dick, anything but this deafening silence.} Xander wondered.

*Why won't he talk to me? We used to have such great conversations; we used to be so close. How did we get here, all quiet, and, stilted. * Spike mused.

"Well, um, I guess I'd best get this to Dawn." Xander said.

{Just ask me to stay, I will. Please! Please, oh, God, I miss you so much, please...}

*I wish I knew how to make him stay, what to say, what to do to get through to him. *

"Uh, yeah, okay." Spike replied.

As Spike is walking Xander to the door, he pauses, and places his hand on Xander�s arm.

Xander feels as if a bolt of electricity has touched him. He freezes, and waits.

As he looks at Spike, he sees the Vampire's hesitant smile.

The feeling is contagious, as Xander feels a tiny smile, teasing across his mouth.

Xander looks down at the hand, then up at the hands owner, a questioning look in his dark eyes.

Spike just shrugs and says, "Um, I just wanted to tell you thank you, for getting me the blood. So, right, then, what'a I owe ya?"

It's Xander�s turn, to shrug, and then he says, "Nothing, Spike, Willy says it's on the house for helping him get rid of those Faigon demons last week. So, hey, no problem, oh, and, Willy says hello."

Spike snorts, "That wanker?"

Xander laughs, and walks out the door, leaving Spike more confused than ever.

*Xander bought him blood? *

Spike KNEW this, because Willy had already PAID him for getting rid of those bloody little beer- thieving troublesome demons.

*So, why had Xander lied, and said different? *

Still shaking his head, he closes the door, locks it, and fixes himself a cup.

He glances at the clock, 7:45pm, 15 more minutes until the radio show, 'Soft side'

After draining the cup of blood, he washes and rinses the cup, and places it in the drainer.

He then goes into his living room, and picks up the novel he has been reading.

Laying it face down on his chest, he picks up his stereo remote, and soon the sounds of Sunny100.9 fill the air. Picking back up his book, he curls up on the couch, and begins to read.

*************************************************Xander's apartment*****

As Xander is turning the key to his apartment door, he is happy to be home, weary, but happy.

He had dropped off promised book bag, neatly avoiding any lengthy conversations with Buffy.

{Time for a good bath, a bite to eat, some relaxing tunes...and maybe...}

Walking over to his entertainment center, he picks up his black remote control, and clicks it to on.

Soon, the room is filled with the mellow sounds of the lilting vocals of David Gates, lead singer of Bread.

# It don't matter to me, if you really feel that you need some time to be free...#

# Time to go out searching for yourself, hoping to find, time...So, go and find...#

# And it don't matter to me, If you take up with some-one who's better than me...#

# 'Cause your happiness is all I want, for you to find...Peace, your peace of mind...#

# Lotta people have an eager hang-up 'cause they want to be the only one...#

# How many came before it really doesn't matter just as long as you're the last...#

#Everybody's moving on and try to find out what's been missing in the past...#

# And, it don't matter to me, if your searching brings you, back together with me...#

# 'Cause there'll always be an empty room, waiting for you...An open heart, waiting for you...Time, is on my side...'Cause, It don't matter to me...#

"And, that was David Gates and Bread, singing, 'It don't Matter To Me."

"Good evening, and thank you for joining the 'softer side ' of Sunny100.9 This is Jeff Barston, welcoming you. Tonight, we are featuring the select stylings of the 70's pop/rock group, Bread. We offer you a commercial free block. Next up, Baby I'm-A Want You..."

Xander smiled, and stripped off his clothes, and ran his bath. He went into his kitchen, fixed a small snack, ham and cheese on crackers. He washed it down with a cold beer, then, walking back into the bathroom, flipped off the taps, and sank his weary aching body down into the hot, wet, comfort. He moaned as the water covered and seeped into his screaming sore muscles. Soon, he was completely submerged, all except his head. He sighed, as he let the bath water and the sensual music take him over.

# Baby I'm-A Want You, Baby I'm-A need you...#

********************************************************Spike's apartment...***

That last song had taken Spike by surprise, inside it, was everything he'd wished Xander would of said to him last night, (or tonight.) And, now this song, it fit just how he felt too.

#You're the only one I care enough to hurt about. #

# Maybe I'm-A Crazy, but I just can't live without, you're lovin' and affection, givin' me

direction, like a guiding light to help me through a darkest hour.#

# Lately I'm-A Prayin' that you'll always be a stayin' beside me...#

# Used to be my life was just emotions passing by...#

# Feeling all the while and never knowing why...Lately I'm-A prayin' that you'll always be - a stayin' beside me...#

# Used to be my life was just emotions passing by, then you came along and made me laugh and made me cry...#

# You taught me why...Baby I'm-A Want you, Baby I'm-A Need you...#

# Oh, it took so long to find you, Baby, Baby I'm-A Want you, Baby I'm-A need you...#

*******************************************************Back in Xander's Tub...***

"Now, those are some sweet rifts, " Xander says to no one, as the last sounds of the guitar are played. He finishes up his bath, pulls the drain plug, and steps out, grabbing a fluffy white towel, and dries off, leaving it on the bathroom floor...

Walking back to his bedroom, his bare feet making soft indentions into his carpet. After pulling on a pair of grey sweat pants, he plops down on the bed, reaching over to grab a book off of his night stand, he scoots up to rest his back against the headboard, and listens to the next song, pondering on the one he just finished listening to.

{If only I could of said stuff like that to Spike tonight, I'd be with him, instead of being all alone with just this book and the radio for company.}

As he was pulling his covers over his body, and up to his chin, the next song started.

Xander smiled, this was one of his favorite Bread songs, and just by the tune he knew it.

# If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you? #

#The words would never show, the you I've come to know. #I

# If a face could launch a thousand ships, then where am I to go? #

# There's no one home but you; you're all that's left me too. #

# And when my love for life is running dry, you come and pour yourself on me. #

# If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. #

# Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way. #

# If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die. #

# I'd spend the end with you, and when the world was through. #

#Then one, by one, the stars would all go out, and you and I would simply fly, away...#

Sitting his book down, Xander let the rest of the melody wash over his soul. His mind still pondering on the who's and what's of his life.

{Why was it so hard, why was everything now so fucking complicated? I still care for Spike, Wil, the man, the vampire, the 'manpire'?}

{Just his mere touch on my skin, and I'm spinning, my whole body is doing a Snoopy dance, no one else ever made me feel like he did, 'does'...aw, fuck it...}

And, as the next song begin, Xander could feel his chest tighten, and, he knew, the 'damn' had broke inside his hardened heart.

{Dammit! This one ALWAYS made him wanna cry!}

****************************************************Spike's apartment****

#You sheltered me from harm, kept me warm, kept me warm...#

Spike sat up so fast, he dropped his book.

*Bloody hells! It was like that radio jock 'knew just what he was thinkin' knew just what to play, what buttons of past memories to push...*

# You gave my life to me, set me free, set me free...#

*Damn! That was the bloody truth! *

Spike had never had such blind devotion showered on him such freedom... never. And, before he had met the dark eyed soft-spoken youth Xander LaVelle Harris, Spike soon realized, he had never felt love returned with such a force as to take away his breath, even though he did not need to breathe.

Memories flooded him, and he tried to keep his head above it all, as little snippets here and there floated, touched and left stain upon stain of emotions, in the crevices of his un-dead heart.

With Xander, Spike had felt like a better person, like a human, almost, well sometimes, except for the times he needed to 'save' someone, any one of the bloody little Scoobies...then, Xander made him feel like a real demon, and man, powerful, strong, needed, wanted, something NO one had ever been able to do.

With Angelus, he was just, 'a boy' with Dru, he was just her, 'sweet William', not enough 'monster, or demon in him to satisfy her...

With Buffy, he was just, had been just a 'convenience'...But, with Xander? It had been bloody amazing.

Their friendship had grown, in leaps and bounds, bonding over beers, (ones drank in private at his crypt) more games of pool, Xander�s fucked up love life, similar interests, so many things had he shared with Spike, that the vampire had fallen for the mortal, and hard.

Never pushing, or asking for more than the teen could give, but what he had given Spike, was way more than his mind could wrap around.

# The finest years I ever knew, were all the years I had with you...#

*Damn fine years those were too. *

As Spike recalled the beautiful smiles, soft kisses and little noises of Xander...He felt his cock harden, and stretch his red sweat pants taunt in the front.

# I would give anything I own. Give up my life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own, just to have you... back again...#

*Gods yes! Anything, everything, even my soul!*

Spike knew this to be true, if it meant having Xander back in his life, like he used to be, and back in his arms, back in his bed, he would do it, what ever it took to make it happen, if he only knew how, what, to do, he would do it, just to...

*********************************************************Xander�s bedroom***

Xander felt the first tear fall. It slowly rolled down his cheek, and landed on his chest.

The next teardrop fell faster, then another, until his face was wet. More tears fell, and melted into the sheets, leaving tiny transparent traces of the misery he had been holding in, carrying around now, for years...

He drew a ragged breath, as the next verse once more attacked his tender heart, leaving lesions of jagged wounds with each word.

# You taught me how to love, what it's of, what it's of...You never said too much but still you showed the way, and I knew, from watching you...#

Memories, they cut deep...

The whispered encouragements from Wil, as Xander had attempted to share a first kiss with the man.

Every time Xander had wanted more, had tried to 'hurry' things up, Wil had always been gentle, yet firm, saying to wait...Till the time was right...

Then, that night...

Wil had invited Xander over to his crypt. They were gonna hang out, watch some flicks, eat some pizza, a typical Saturday night, right?

Wrong! Xander had arrived late, he had had to ditch a nosy Slayer and his redheaded best friend, do a zillion chores at the 'house of doom' study for a science exam, then, then, he'd been on his way, hot pizzas in hand, and, he'd been jumped by a couple of dorky fledges.

After Xander had made short work of them, (Wil had been teaching him some 'kick ass' 'moves' to improve his fighting style) he picked up the sorta still warm pizzas, and had hurried on to the crypt.

Wil had been waiting for him. After taking the boxed burden from the dusty teen, the vampire had told him to go wash up, and had pointed him to the restroom.

Once dust-free, Xander had eagerly settled down on the beat-up couch, and had greedily grabbed a slice of the warm gooey cheesy pizza, and as he had accepted the cold bottle of beer, he looked at Wil, his face breaking out in a big smile.

A breathtakingly, beautiful smile.

Wil had just stared at him then, his hand holding the ice brew shaking slightly.

As he sat down, Wil had put the pizza box down on the floor, and had taken the bottle of beer from him.

After setting down his own drink, he had scooted closer, practically purring, "Ya got pizza sauce on yer chin, luv, lemme..."

And, Xander had lost all ability to think clearly, as a cool, wet tongue licked him, from his chin, to the edge of his mouth.

"Ummm, Nummy..." Wil had breathed, as he continued on his tongue quest.

Xander was frozen. Part of him, (the lower part, sat up and waved) then, the upper part, it moaned, as the vampire slowly, licked and traced his tongue all around Xander�s trembling mouth.

Spike had smiled and continued his journey.

He kissed Xander�s nose, nipping at it gently. He kissed his eyelids, which Xander had closed, as the moans had increased in volume.

# Nobody else could ever know, the part of me that can't let go...#

And, he had held on that night, so tight, as Wil had showed him, told him, all of

the things he had been waiting to do, to him, for him, for no other reason than just to be with him, only him...To hold him, to touch him, to taste him...

Those were the words Wil had softly whispered to him, as he had slowly lifted up his shirt, nibbling on the soft baby fat of his tummy. That's what Wil had called it, 'baby fat'...

As he had pushed his way up, taking the shirt with him, soon, soon, he found his breath hitching, as Wil had curled his long tongue around one tan nipple, causing the teen to squeak.

No one had ever done THAT to him!

Wil had shown no mercy, as he drug the shirt the rest of the way off, leaving Xander�s chest bare, exposed, open to him, to his touch, his view...The heated gaze that Wil had given Xander that night, quickly extinguished all former feelings of inadequacy.

When Xander felt the cool mouth ghost along his inner thighs, back and forth, leaving wet heated traces and sending shivers and tingles up, and around, and all over Xander�s quaking flesh, he had watched as Wil had danced his long tongue higher, yet higher, exploring places no man had ever touched, or tasted.

And as he felt Wil's wet mouth engulf his hard shaft, Xander had made these little noises, something between a purr and a growl, as his hands found and gripped Wil's blonde locks tightly. Wil had treated Xander�s full cock as if it were his favorite flavored lolly. He had licked, and sucked, and swirled his tongue all around, tapping his tongue, flicking his tongue with long licks up and down the vein in the front, tasting him from the sweet soft skin between his heavy sac and the tip of his cock, nibbling, and tonguing all around the rim, and the jutting mushroom head.

And, when he put his tongue THERE...Xander almost passed out from the sheer pleasure of it.

Wil had made Xander feel so good, so special, so wanted, so desired so needed. It was there in Wil's brilliant blue orbs, that Xander found his Zenith. And, he watched transfixed as Wil brought him to his mental and physical knees with his talented mouth and tongue and words.

# I would give anything I own. Give up my life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own, just to have you, back again...#

As Xander drew another ragged breath and shuddered, inside, his mind screamed one word...

{SPIKE!}

************************************************While, on Spike's couch****

#Is there someone you know, you're loving them so, but taking them all for granted? #

*XANDER! *

***********************************************Back in Xander�s lonely, empty bed******

# You may lose them one day,#

{God, no! SPIKE!}

{Drusilla could come back!! OR, Angel could come clean; admit that he DID still care for Spike! Or, Buffy, OH, GOD NO! What if I have driven him right back into Buffy's arms!?}

Quickly, Xander scrambles for the phone, his long legs getting tangled in the bedding. In his haste to get through to Spike, to get TO Spike, he slips, and falls, hitting his head hard, thus knocking himself out cold.

***************************************************Back on Spikes lonely couch*****

# Someone takes them away, and they don't hear the words you long to say...#

*Bloody Hell! That demon bint Anya! She could get Xander back; she HAS been sniffing round him again! Or, well, Red, cause they had kissed once, and they had all that history between them, or, Angel, damn bloody wanker, HE could come back, bollocks things up for me! He always did have a thing for MY Nummy! Oh, OR, dear God, the Slayer! He'd noticed the way Buffy was always using Xander! He had bought her stuff, cell phones, new clothes so she could look good at her new job at the school, hell they MIGHT as well be married! Coz, Xander was always so damn generous! What if>>EEW! *

No way in Hells was Spike just going to sit here and let THAT happen!

The song taunted him, daring him to just DO something, this time, make Xander see, that Spike was slowly losing his mind, that he was drowning in his own tears, tracing years that not even Jack bloody Daniels could erase.

*Gah! I need a bloody drink! I NEED Xander! I need my Nummytreat! *

# I would give anything I own, give up my life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own...Just to have you, back again...Just to touch you, once...again...#

*Oh, YES! He SO wanted to just 'touch' Xander, just to touch his skin, feel the pulse bump, and move...Feel his breath hitch, as Spike nibbled...*

~Then, SHUT the BLOODY HELLS UP man! What are you waiting for? Bloody Christmas!!??? Get yer Bleedin' arse over there, NOW! ~ (Shouts the soul)

^Golf clap, well said! ^ (The demon replies...)

~(The soul smirks, and preens,)~ Why thank you, oh, by the way, I rather like the way this fits...~

^The Demon smiles toothily, well, black does look good on ya, makes yer arse look nice...^ (He leers...)

* HEY! Anyone gonna get laid around here it's gonna be ME! *

***********************************************Meanwhile, back at Chez Xander�s****

Xander sits up, he is on his floor, his sheets tangled in his feet and legs, and his head hurts too. So much in fact, it is pounding.

{No, Wait, that's the damn door.}

"BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,"

As he stands up shakily, he sits back on the edge of the bed, and, he thinks he is hallucinating, because he hears Spike's voice, "Xander!! Xander, are you in there Luv? Xander, answer me!"

He gets up again, this time, he makes it to the fridge, he leans heavily on it as he takes out the emergency ice pack in his freezer, then, goes to answer the door.

#Baby I'm through runnin' it's true, I'd be a fool to try to escape you, maybe I'm beat, but oh what a sweet surrender. #

When Xander finally opens the door, Spike is greeted to the site of Xander, holding a blue ice pack at his temple, and he is only wearing grey sweats, that are ridding low on his hips.

The music is still playing, as both men just stand there, drinking in the sight of each other, like a desert person that had not tasted water on a parched tongue in weeks, months. No one spoke, as the music played on...

# You keep your rights, I'll take your nights, no one can lose when we turn the lights out, tastin' defeat, lovin' that sweet surrender...#

# I'm givin' up myself to you but I didn't really lose at all, I gave the only love I've known, and it never hurt me to fall...#

# Now that it's done, so glad you won, I know our lives have only begun, now no more retreat, only my sweet surrender, now no more retreat, only my sweet surrender...And you sweet thing in my life, I surrender to you...#

As the last of the cords faded, both men are brought out of their trance.

Xander walks over to the stereo, and switched it off.

Spike just stands there.

Xander looks over at him, smiles and says, "Spike, please come in, we SO need to talk..."

As he sits down on the sectional couch, he watches as Spike walks in hesitantly closing the door behind him, and sits down, right next to Xander.

Both men turn towards each other, and at the same time they say,

"Spike, I don't care what the others are gonna say, I miss you...and,"

"Xander, I know you're worried 'bout yer mates an all, but, I miss you and..."

"And?" Spike inquired. Wanting more, needing more, waiting.

"And?" Xander asked, Needing more, wanting more, waiting.

Spike looks at Xander, really looks at him, "Pet" he asks," What'appened to yer'ed?"

Xander groans.

"Well," he snarks, "let me see, oh, yeah, um, I'm listening to 'soft side' and, they are playing all of these songs, they are reminding me of you, and, me, and what we used to have, and what we used to be, and, then, one of the song, well, I was scared that you would go back to Buffy's arms, and, my heart just could NOT take that again, and, I was coming over to your house to tell you all of this and, then, I dunno, I tripped and fell, hitting my head? All I know is this, you're here with me, and I'm never letting you go again..."

Spike shudders as Xander runs his hands up and down Spike's arms.

Xander looks at him hard, and says," Oh, by the way, I'm not a teenager any more if you haven't noticed, and, although I have been acting like a child, I�m not one."

Xander�s look softens as taking Spikes face in his large hands, Xander softly told him, "I know what I want, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna just stand by, and watch this all go up in flames, again."

Leaning foreword, he suddenly took Spike by surprise as he began to rain kisses all over the vampire�s shocked lips.

"I," (kiss) Have, (kiss) so very much, (kiss, kiss, kiss) missed you, (kiss, kiss) you damn, stubborn, (kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss...) vampire!"

Xander leaned back, and watched the man, his dark eyes intense.

Spike was in shock!

He had expected many things, but to be kissed silly by his Xan-pet? Never had he dreamed that Xander would be so bold, it really turned him on, and, judging from the wood in Xander�s sweats, he felt the same.

But, no matter, it HAD to be for all of the RIGHT reasons, no halves this time, it was all, or nothing at all, Spike's heart could not take anything less, and they BOTH deserved the best.

Gently, Spike stilled the eager young man.

With his hands splayed on Xander�s chest, he lightly held him at bay, as he looked deeply into Xander�s beautiful brown eyes and told him softly,

"You�re right Luv, we DO need to talk..."
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