Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Cause and Effect	By : elizashaw Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 6461 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Three days of daytime TV, and the Spike that Xander remembered had made a vocal reappearance. He griped at the doctors and nurses who continued to poke and prod at him. He complained of being bored and demanded exotic blood types and various snack foods to dip in them. Xander loved every minute of it, until one of the nurses handed over the duty of feeding Spike since his fingers still couldn't quite grip smaller items easily. Suddenly dipping corn chips in otter's blood lost its humor. But he suppressed the squick, and if a few drops of blood ended up on the hospital gown or trailing down Spike's chin, it was hardly Xander's fault.
Their conversation ranged from mocking the Jerry Springer guests—Spike insisting that Jerry would love to get a chance to go at Angel for his family dysfunction—to catching up on what the Scoobies had been up to since the fall of Sunnydale. The only topics they avoided were Spike's nightmare and Lorne's reading. Fred had swept the room and declared it entity free, apart from the expected, and Wesley and Gunn continued to research while Angel generally groused and spent time out of the office pummeling various demons.
On the fifth day of Xander's visit, the doctors declared Spike fit to leave the hospital. There had been no nightmares for the last several days, but Xander suspected that it was due to the fact that the vampire hardly slept.
"I'm not stayin' here." Spike faced off with Angel in the doorway to the room.
"Spike, we still don't know how to stop the First Slayer. I want you here where we can protect you." Angel growled back.
"Like you did the last time, you ruddy ponce! Droopy boy here was more help than you lot were."
"Hey!" Xander protested, then thought about it, "oh, thanks, I guess. Go on." He gestured.
"What're ya gonna do, tie me down?"
"If that's what it takes," Angel stepped forward menacingly.
"Thought we got past that phase last century. Still can't resist a bit of bondage, can ya mate?"
As Angel's frown deepened, Xander stepped between them, attempting to dispel some of the vamp testosterone thickening the atmosphere.
"Look, Angel, why don't I go with Spike? It's not like I have anywhere else to go. And hey, this way you don't have to pay for round the clock medical staff anymore."
"I don't need a sodding babysitter," Spike growled from behind Xander's back.
Xander shot a glare at the blonde that clearly said ‘shut up, I'm trying to get us out of here' and got glared at in return. He fought the urge to roll his eye as he turned back to the hulking vampire blocking the exit.
"He's not going anywhere."
"Get a grip, Deadboy. Post guards wherever you want, but this place is enough to make anyone go over the edge. It's not helping. You're not helping." Xander poked Angel hard in the chest as he spoke. "Sitting in this fucking room for days on end is not going to fix this. So pull your head out of your ass, let Wesley and Gunn get the research together, and get the hell out of the way. We're going."
Spike suppressed a smirk as his arrogant sire backed off before the raging human. He couldn't help but remember Angelus sounding off about Buffy's White Knight running him out of the hospital all those years ago. Seems Spike managed to acquire the White Knight for himself these days. As that thought passed, his smirk changed to a frown. Xander had been acting the White Knight the last few days, and he showed no signs of leaving after the initial response to Spike's singing. Question was what did the boy really want? The man had no reason to stay, especially after identifying the bitch stalking his dreams, yet Spike couldn't bring himself to ask. He refused to admit that the reluctance was because he didn't want Xander to leave.
"Xander's right, Angel, we can hardly do more for him here than could be done from his own home. The attacks are metaphysical. There is no physical space that affords safety from the realm of dreams."
"Thanks for the cheery words, Wes. Glad to know this place hasn't dulled your optimism." Xander offered sarcastically. Spike jabbed him in the back.
"Shut it. He's on our side, wanker."
With Xander, Wes, and Spike glaring at him, Angel growled low and stepped out of the doorway. He didn't uncross his arms or drop the menacing glare, however. Xander stepped back to sling his duffel bag over his shoulder while Spike strode merrily through the door, flipping his sire the two-fingered salute in thanks for his freedom. In contrast, Xander flashed an apologetic smile and hurried after his new roommate.
Angel watched them go, and when the elevator doors slid shut he scrubbed his face with his hands. Wes watched him sympathetically.
"I really hate this."
"We'll find a way to figure out what's happening. And how to stop it."
"The whole vampire-slayer relationship is supposed to be simple. Stake. Fangs. Blood. Dust. No mysterious dream spirits." Angel slammed his hand against the wall.
"No moral dilemmas?" Wes offered.
"No souls." Angel ground out.
"That's not what's really bothering you, is it?" Wes watched the tense figure, imagining he could see the strain of the muscles in the bowed neck.
"Find me some answers, Wes. Find them fast." Angel strode through the door to the stairwell, leaving the human to wonder if he even had all the questions that needed to be answered.

**************

Xander couldn't prevent the grin as he guided the Viper around another corner. Despite Spike's griping that a car of this caliber was wasted on a "tosser that drove like he was paralyzed from the waist down," Xander enjoyed the smooth feel of the car on the city streets. He never dreamed that Harmony telling them that Angel granted them a car from Wolfram and Hart's ample garage would result in him getting to drive such a gorgeous machine. But he didn't fool himself. The only reason he got to drive at all was that Spike had been forced to concede the position after not even being able to maneuver the key into the ignition. The junctures where his hands had been reattached were healed, but the nerves took longer to regenerate.
"Left here."
Xander followed the subdued direction. Spike sulking and mocking him had faded to flat silence after the first few blocks. Xander couldn't tell if it was due to the growing distance from Wolfram and Hart or the increasing nearness of their destination.
"End of the block, on the right."
"Parking?"
"Leave it on the street. Gets lifted, we'll just get another."
The neighborhood offered primarily apartment buildings with the scattered home in between. Concrete jungle, Xander thought as he maneuvered the Viper into an open space at the curb. Where does that come from, anyway? It's not like there are concrete trees or vines all over the place. Just a distinct lack of greenery beyond the few looming palm trees. Great inner babble, he thought as he put the car in park and set the emergency brake. Never a good sign. He sighed, unbuckled the seat belt and turned to his passenger.
Spike slumped in the seat, arms crossed, staring out the window and the run-down building. He tried, unsuccessfully, once more to beat back the resentment that he still didn't rate a place in the Wolfram and Hart towers. Telling himself once more that at least he was his own vamp, he struggled to shake off the self-pity that gripped him since leaving the garage.
Xander bit his lip, hating to ask, "Need me to open the door?"
Spike shot him a glare, then looked away and nodded.
Xander reached across and pulled on the handle, releasing the catch. Spike shoved himself out of the car without looking back. Scrambling out of the car and reaching back for his duffle, Xander hurriedly locked the doors and walked up the sidewalk after the flapping duster.
The main entrance didn't require a key, and Spike shoved it open without waiting for his companion. Xander stifled a curse as he shuffled the bag on his shoulder to open the door and maneuver through it. He followed the disappearing blond down a short flight of stairs and felt his heart lurch as he saw Spike standing in front of a dented metal door with key in hand, staring at the keyhole. This time he remained silent as he watched the vampire struggle with himself.
Spike contemplated the keys in his hand. He could feel his demon visage struggling to the fore in impotent rage. The frustration over his incapacitated hands brought back the helplessness of his wheelchair days. He could hear Xander's breathing, the man quietly waiting for him to make a move. Hitching an unneeded breath, he squared his shoulders and took a cocky stance. He turned and tossed the keys at Xander, who caught them on reflex.
"Let's go bellhop."
"Sir, yes, sir." Xander tossed back, not sure whether to be pleased or worried by this show of snark. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing the vampire to lead the way into the studio apartment.
One room, no windows, a bed, a couch, and the requisite TV. Xander debated whether this marked an improvement from Spike's crypt-dwelling days. Somehow the starkness of the place felt even less homey than that. At least the crypt had personality. He dropped his duffle on the floor and closed the door.
"So," he started, but then realized he had nothing.
"So." Spike threw back at him from his slumped position on the couch.
"Okay, what's the attitude, bleach boy? I thought you were glad to get out of that place."
"Fuck off, Harris." Spike shot out as he struggled out of his duster.
Xander strode over to the couch and stood directly in the vampire's line of sight.
"Can't do that. The deal was I gotta stay with you, remember? Conditions of release and all that. Now you wanna tell me what crawled up your ass and died on the way over here?" He let the anger wrest control from the sympathy that had guided earlier actions.
Spike stood and stared into the angry brown eye, seeing the hurt that lurked underneath and choosing to ignore it.
"So you got me out. Fine. Good deed done. Now I don't need you, and I don't want you, so just bugger off." He pushed past Xander and stomped into the kitchen. He yanked at the refrigerator door gracelessly and grabbed a bottle of beer from off the shelf. Holding the bottle with one hand, he braced the cap against the edge of the counter and slammed the other hand down to pop off the top. He studiously ignored the fuming human.
Xander watched the Big Bad reassert himself, slamming around the kitchen and guzzling beer. He began to wonder if all the camaraderie in the hospital had been nothing more than playing him to get released. Then he saw the hand holding the beer bottle shake, and he recognized the act. It was a familiar one. One that he had seen Spike play with Angel, and one that Xander had played more than once himself since losing an eye. The act said I don't need anyone, but it came from the fear that I'm too damaged for anyone to want around. His anger wilted in the face of it.
Casually, he walked into the kitchen and liberated a beer for himself. Rather than relying on the Spike-method of removing the cap, he reached for the bottle opener magnet on the fridge and popped the top. He watched Spike stalk back to the couch and flip on the television. Programs flipped by as Spike pressed his thumb on the remote control, stopping periodically only to start up once again. Xander watched. He could feel the anger and despair filling the one-room apartment. Sipping at his beer, he waited, unsure of what might come next.
Spike sat tense on the couch. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, hide from his life. But sleep meant letting go of control, and he couldn't afford to do that. In lieu of that, the next most appealing choice was a quick stroll through the mid-day sunshine, but he couldn't even bring himself to manage that. Full of self-disgust, he drained the last of his beer in a single go and threw the bottle full-force against the wall, causing shards of glass to fly every which way.
"Fuck!" Xander ducked automatically at the impact. When he stood again, ready to bawl out the tantrum-throwing vampire, he stopped short at the sight of a single tear tracing its way down the pale cheek. Other than that slight movement, Spike sat absolutely still, jaw clenched, staring unseeing at the television. Cautiously, Xander set his beer on the counter and made his way over to the couch. He eased the remote control from rigid fingers. Spike stared through him as if still watching Emeril's barbeque antics that blared out behind the human.
Xander eased himself to his knees, wanting nothing more than to take the unmoving figure in his arms, feeling that same need to hold and protect that arose in the face of Spike's nightmare. Instead he used the remote to flick the TV off. In the ensuing silence, he reached out with a warm hand to catch the stray tear dangling from that sharp, cool chin.
"Not going anywhere, Spike," he assured softly. Pain flashed across blue eyes in response. "Talk to me." A blink and clench of the jaw were his only response.
"S'not forever, you know. Doc said your hands will be good as new in a couple days." Suddenly the sharp gaze looked at him, and he flinched under the anger that raged there.
"Fuck you, Harris. You don't know anything." Spike shoved him backwards and began to pace. "I don't give a toss about the sodding hands. Been hurt worse than this and took longer to heal. Or did you forget the wheelchair days back in Sunnyhell?"
"Then what is it?" Xander asked, honestly bewildered. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched the vampire warily.
Spike shook his head and growled. "Look at this place. Bloody saved the world, didn't I? And what do I get? Hated by the slayers for still being a vamp. Hated by my sire for still existing. Stalked by some dead slayer when I'm asleep? What the bloody hell is it all for?!" He roared out his rage.
Xander scooted back against the couch, unsure what to say. With Willow, it had been easy to know what to do when the pain was so great. He loved her. All he had to do was love her. With Spike, it was more complicated, and he struggled for words. Before he could speak, the vampire ranted on.
"Why did you bring me back?! What buggering good could it possibly be!" Spike raged at the unseen forces that controlled his life. His demon visage surged to the fore as he roared.
Fear tingled through Xander as he watched the formerly chipped vampire. But fear translated quickly to the anger that he worked so hard to suppress since hearing of Spike's miraculous return from the Sunnydale battle.
"I don't want to be here! I didn't ask for it! It was my bloody time, and you stole it!"
Xander surged to his feet, and without speaking a word, he slammed a fist into Spike's face. Spike reeled back under the force of the unexpected blow. Xander stood, panting with the anger flowing through him.
"You ungrateful prick," he ground out.
Spike lunged back, unthinkingly attacking a foe he could finally touch. His momentum sprawled Xander over the bed, landing his own body on top of the one that struggled beneath him.
"Get off me, you undead freak," Xander pressed up, staring at the cruel yellow eyes that flashed at him.
"Mmm, been a long time since I took a human—well, not counting Buffy, of course," Spike drawled, riding the power that swelled through him. He ground his swelling erection against the warm human beneath him, enjoying having the power for once.
Xander stared at the smirking vampire, knowing that Spike fought because he needed to feel in control. He recognized that the anger wasn't directed at him, but fear surged through him nonetheless. His own anger hadn't diminished, however, and he felt no compulsion to be gentle with the creature grinding his pelvis against him. At the same time, he recognized the need to get out of the situation before it went further than either of them could come back from. As much as he had desired the lithe, muscular body rubbing against him, he refused to let anger and pain be the means.
With only a small regret, he grasped Spike's arms at the point of reattachment and twisted hard, praying he wasn't doing irrevocable damage.
Spike reared back with a cry of pain and anger. Xander scrambled off the bed. He waited, adrenalin flowing, for Spike to make the next move.
Demon visage slid back to human as Spike took in the shaking human before him. Xander. He had tried to hurt Xander, the one person who reached out to him without expectations since his return. Shame flooded him, and he turned away, unable to look at the wary face.
Xander tried to shake off his fury as he watched the vampire regain control, but found he couldn't. The best choice he could make for both of them was to leave, at least for a while. He concentrated on unclenching his fists as he made his way over to the door.
"I gotta get out of here." He didn't trust himself to turn back and see the state Spike was in, but he didn't want to leave without saying anything.
The cold words burned the vampire's ears. Big surprise, Spike drives another person away. Everyone else left, why not Xander. He listened for the click of the door closing before he could bring himself to look after the human. As he did, he noticed the duffle bag still sitting by the door. His brow furrowed. Xander left. Xander left his bag. His brain refused to fit the puzzle pieces together for a long moment.
Outside, Xander stood at the end of the walk. Now that he was free from the stifling atmosphere in the apartment, he realized he had no place else to go. Los Angeles wasn't exactly Sunnydale, and while he had plenty of experience touring unknown cities, he didn't feature the idea of wandering through LA on foot in the middle of the night without even a stake on him. He stiffened as he heard footsteps on the walk behind him. He turned suddenly and found himself face to face with the man he had just walked out on.
Spike didn't speak. He looked Xander in the eye and held out his hand. Xander glanced down. Keys.
Spike pointed to one key, then another. "Viper. Apartment."
Xander nodded and accepted the keys. Spike turned and walked back toward the building. Xander got into the Viper and drove off into the LA night.
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Cause and Effect