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The Silent Urge Series	By : Druffine Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 25061 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Part A Gotta Get Away

Chapter 06 - Half-Truth

~ Spike ~

I can�t believe he is that stupid! What the hell was he thinking? God, I provoked this with my severely-wounded-show. Cuts himself! Idiot. It�s hard enough to withstand him *without him bleeding all around me*. He tastes so good, so pure of life and hey, arousal.
Yep � score one for William the Bloody. I start sucking on the shallow wound as if it is the first blood I get in a hundred plus years. I feel like it is just that. I think I heard a moan. I bite my own tongue and mix a little of my blood in the spit. Don�t think he�ll notice.
He tries to pull his hand away but I pull it back for a last sealing lick, coating it with salvia.

I turn to get the shot glass still waiting for me

when I hear a sharp intake of breath.

Damn.

I am so fucking stupid!
~ Xander ~

Okay on my scale of �sexual pleasures Xander received� that was full points. Either my sexual receivings are pretty little � which they are � or I really get off on the guy thing or the vamp thing or the blood thing or two of the above or all of the above together.

Or I need a new scale.

Damn. Where is denial when you need it?
I take a look on my palm and gasp when I see the cut slowly close, fading in a thin white line and then disappearing as if it was never there.
I turn my gaze to Spike.

He stands very still and tense in the middle of his way to the glass on the table.
�Spike?�
�Yes pet?�
�It�s not a lie.�
�What?�
�The vampire-spit-healing-thing.�
Beat.
�No, it�s not.�

I don�t know what to say. The only noise in the room is the cracking of the leather of Spike�s duster when he sits down and slowly sips my blood.
Something comes to my mind and makes an awkward feeling in my stomach.

�How much was I hurt?� I ask.
�Badly.�
�How bad?�
�Bad.� He shrugs.
�Bad as in can�t sleep on my back for a couple of days or bad as in hurry to the hospital you need a few stitches?�
Beat.
�A lot of stitches.�

I swallow hard. I have to sit down. Spike really licked my back because he didn�t want me in pain. The blood he received by doing it was more like a benefit of the deed and not the main reason. Altruistic Spike. A concept that blows my mind.
After a long silence I tell him hoarsely: �Thank you, Spike.�

He looks sharply at me, searching for mockery.

�You�re welcome.� He replies eventually.

Another few minutes go by in silence.

Uncomfortable silence.
To break it and to show Spike how much his nursing now means to me I stand up and go to him, help him out of his duster, his shoes and socks. One fingernail accidentally scrapes along the underside of his foot and his toes curl instantly. I smile evilly. Ticklish Spikey. Information saved for later. Now I just want to go to sleep.
~ Spike ~

Bloody hell! He didn�t get the blood part of my nursemaid-abilities. I don�t think he would thank me again if he knew it. Humans are squeamish with blood. I just wanted him to be okay. I really have a soft spot for the whelp.

Fuck.
He comes to me and shoves my duster from my shoulders. I like when he touches me, how he touches me. Just like he would touch another human. Undressing me so carefully and slowly. I hope some other time he�ll undress me �cause he wants me. Now he�s just tired and wants to get in bed.
He pulls my socks off and a fingernail scratches the skin under my foot.

Aaaarghh.

Self-control.

No giggling like a stupid bint.
Oh good, he hasn�t realised that I�m ticklish.

He tugs me under the covers and I want to crack a joke about how uncomfortable the old recliner is when he slips in the bed on the other side.

Oh.
Hm.

That�s nice.

I can nearly feel the heat of his body reflecting on mine.
~ Xander ~

If the blonde menace thought I would sleep in the painful parody of the reclining chair, he must have gotten pretty beaten up. Well, at first he was pretty beaten up, dramatically collapsing in my arms, near death-undeath-finaldeath whatever- wavering and losing control over� Hey, he kissed and sucked and play-bit my neck!
He must have gotten a really hard blow to his head. I am pretty sure *I* am not what a vamp would choose for a meal.

Fucking moist and delicious my ass.
I am just Xander.

Zeppo.

Doughnut boy.

Unworthy.

No good.
I squeeze my eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall.

I try to concentrate on the good things:

Spike came back.

And, ahm, Spike. Came. Back.
~ Spike ~

I was drifting into sleep smoothly when the harsh scent of misery and tears pulls me back to full consciousness.

I am bleedin� tired and I don�t care.

I don�t care.

Bloody hell.

Putting my head up on my hand, I position my battered body on the side and look expectantly at the whelp.
He is lying rigid on his back, eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched. Almost bawling.

Well then.

�Wot�se matter?� I ask with *almost* no annoyance in my voice. I am tired, okay?!
�Nothing.� A hoarse whisper.

Fine.
�Go t�sleep.�

No answer.

So I roll over on my other side and close my eyes, grateful for the comfort of an almost real bed.
Then: �What now, Spike?�
�Now sleep.� I grumble.
�No I mean��
�Know wot ya mean, tomorrow, �k?�
��k.�
Eyes closed again and content with how I handled the situation, I feel my limbs getting heavy. Sleep is rushing to me unstoppably until:
�What is tomorrow?� He is really trying my patience.
�Tomorrow � move and new-boss-meeting.�
�WHAT?!� He screams, bounces up and the bed shakes under his strenuous moves. I groan. Have mercy please.

And when you break this bed � I *will* kill you. Chip or no chip.
~ Xander ~

�What is tomorrow?� I ask hesitantly. Will he tell me tomorrow that he will not be burdened down by me?
�Tomorrow � move and new-boss-meeting.�

What? I roll the words around in my head until they make no sense at all.

Did he really say I�ll meet my new boss? Do I have a new job?
�WHAT?� I scream, not able to hold back the enthusiasm I feel. He groans. I have to be more careful � one day I�ll blast his sensible hearing with my loud outbursts.

Nevertheless: �YOU GOT ME A JOB? AND AN APARTMENT?�
Spike�s face scrunches up into a deep frown, then: �No.�

My anticipation is brutally torn out of me. My body slumps into a boneless heap and I feel tears threatening my eyes. I look down ashamed, not wanting him to witness my soul-deep disappointment erupting in a girly whine.
~ Spike ~

Un-fucking-believably unsure, so easy to be broken git!
~ Xander ~

Cool slim fingers grab my wobbling chin and force me to meet *amused* - oh, he must so get his kicks out of this � blue eyes.
�I found a job for you *and* for me. And an Apartment for *us*, you idiot!� He scolds me playfully. I could so cut that smirk out of his face right now. I try not to look deeper into his smiling eyes but I can�t withstand it and what I find in there � concern, caring � makes my vision bleary again. Why isn�t he pitying me? He isn�t supposed to care. Or to be concerned. No one is. I don�t deserve to be�
~ Spike ~

I see the cogs turning in his head, when he analyses the motivations I let show in my eyes. I know, I have to do this slowly. Have to show him babystep by babystep that he has some worth for the world, for me. He is like a kicked puppy, always waiting for the next slap.

However, pity is the last thing he needs now, so: �Stop that � now! Don�t beat yourself up. I don�t want to see *that* look in your beautiful eyes EVER again!�
~ Xander ~

Did he say beautiful?
~ Spike ~

I did not say beautiful, did I? Fuck.

He looks at me as if I really said beautiful�
~ Xander ~

He said my eyes were beautiful!

Why did he say, they were beautiful?

Just plain brown eyes.

Nothing special.

No.

Not me.

Never me.
~ Spike ~

Need to cover that slip. Need to pretend it was intended�

�AND NOW, close those *beautiful chocolate mirrors to your soul* and go TO SLEEP!� I order and wink at him before demonstratively turning my back on him and pretending to sleep. Cover with overstatement, that got him.
~ Xander ~

Oh, he just pulled my leg, wanted to distract me. Alright. Sleeping now. Job and apartment tomorrow. Need more information. Spike will tell me tomorrow. Sleep now. Nice.
�Night, Spike. Thanks.� I whisper. Only a shift on the other side of the bed answers me. Aht. ht. Tomorrow. Spike. More. �yaaaaaawwwn�
~ Spike ~

I move to lie on my back. Night, my beautiful boy.

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The Silent Urge Series