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Violently Happy	By : marksandspence Category: BtVS Crossovers > Misc - Het - Male/Female Views: 3217 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Part1a
- 2-Part1b
- 3-Part1c
- 4-Part1d
- 5-Part1e
- 6-Part2a
- 7-Part2b
- 8-Part3a
- 9-Part3b
- 10-Part3c
- 11-Part4a
- 12-Part4b
- 13-Part4c
- 14-Part4d
- 15-Part5a
- 16-Part5b
- 17-Part5c
- 18-Part5d
- 19-Part5e
- 20-Part5f
- 21-Part5g
- 22-Part5h
- 23-Part6a
- 24-Part6b
- 25-Part6c
- 26-Part6d
- 27-Part6e
- 28-p.s. Flight of Fancy
- 5
- 6
- 7
Part 2
Scene 1
Miranda and Spike work together to plan some kind of minor heist that will take place at an upcoming regional Antiques show in L.A. (just for dealers). It will be quite an event with all the major players in the business—including a few other Immortals. In some great hall, they all set up a kind of ‘display’ booth with items they wish to trade or sell. The event itself runs more like an art show, with all the players dressed to the nines, roaming around the “gallery”, evaluating the competition. Essentially, everyone is trying to cheat every one else, or at least get the best deal. Foul play is rampant at these events, but everyone knows it and expects it. Miranda has her eye on a couple of items that she hopes will be at the show and in addition, simply wants to make her presence known. Unbeknownst to her (and most of the attendees), there is a dealer who will be bringing artifacts that have a certain amount of mystical power—things that no one wants to fall into the wrong hands. In order to adequately protect these items during the show and to attempt to keep the foul play to a minimum, the organizer of the event hires Angel Investigations to ‘police’ the event—and to prevent the mystical items from disappearing and/or find out who is likely to want to steal them—It’s likely that Wolfram and Hart and some demon-types may be involved [again, I shall be a bit vague on the details because I just don’t have the time to flesh it out properly].
Miranda arrives about a week or so before the actual event to get set up. Basically, most of the players preview each other’s merchandise before the actual show and most deals are made prior. Spike will meet her in LA the day before the show—he’s bringing down some of her things and is responsible for actually snagging the items she wants from another dealer during the event. I see Angel and the gang (‘the gang’ is pre-Fred, being Wesley, Cordelia & Gunn) investigating all the dealers that are attending the event—they are each assigned one or two people who they ‘interview’. Angel gets Miranda’s name and proceeds to attempt to strike up a conversation with her during the general set-up. What I mean by ‘set-up’ is that each dealer is assigned a space in the event Hall and at their own pace, bring and unpack their items and then usually work quite hard on the display of these items. They often wander around during this time looking at each other’s merchandise. Miranda is looking at a display of antique weaponry when Angel tries to inconspicuously saunter up and make small talk. Also, I assume that Miranda doesn’t know anything about Angel—has not been a topic of conversation since she’s been hanging with the scoobies.
Angel: “So you like swords?”
Miranda: [giving him a sideways look—she’s noticed him following her around] “I’m not sure that this samurai sword is authentic. What do you think?” [She lifts it off its case and tosses it to him. He unsheathes it and holds it like a pro as he examines it. He then replaces the sheath and hands it back to her.]
Angel: “I’m not really an expert, but I think that’d slice through a neck pretty easily—hard to fake that.”
Miranda: “Hm. Still looks a bit naff to me. [finding something else] These are nice.” [she picks up a pair of short, dagger-length swords/knives with handles.]
Angel: “Mind if I have a look?” [She hands them over and watches as he grips the handles]
Miranda: “You’ve used them before?”
Angel: “Me? Noooo. Just a collector. When would I...what makes you think...?”
Miranda: “Most people grip them the other way if they’ve never seen them in action—you did it correctly.”
Angel: “Lucky guess. So, uh, you from around here?”
Miranda: “Used to be. Not anymore.”
Angel: “You’re English, right?”
Miranda: “Smart boy. [sarcastic] What gave it away?”
Angel: “Well, first I’d never heard an American use the word ‘naff’ before....and then there’s the way you...[suddenly realizing by the way she’s looking at him that the question was rhetorical]. Oh, you don’t really want to know.”
Miranda walks on. She can’t help but be mildly amused at his attempts at conversation. They’re now at the next booth, which has more mundane household items and some paintings.
Angel: “So what are you in to?”
Miranda: “Pardon?”
Angel: “I mean, what’s your specialty—what type of antiques?”
Miranda: “Don’t really have one. I like to have a variety of things on hand. [she’s rather enjoying making this difficult for him. She walks over to where a set of paintings (portraits) are leaning up against a wall. She pauses at one in particular.]
Angel: “She looks a bit like you.”
Miranda: [under her breath] “Bloody Darren—wherever did you come up with this? [to Angel, nonchalant] Could be a relative. My ancestors were quite posh—the sort who paid for portraits like this. Hm. I’ll have to ask Darren when he appears. It’s quite lovely.” [She sets it back and starts walking away. Angel follows and is obviously about to say something when Miranda stops him.]
Miranda: “Let me guess. Is it the weather this time?”
Angel: “Is what the weather?”
Miranda: “The next topic of conversation. I can hardly wait. Listen, Mr..." [waiting for him to offer his name]
Angel: “Angel”
Miranda: “Mr. Angel, I...”
Angel: [interrupting] “not Mr. Angel. Just Angel.”
Miranda: [a quick laugh escapes her] “You’re kidding? [one look from him and she realizes he isn’t] “Look, Angel, I haven’t quite been able to discern from your pathetic attempts at small talk whether you are simply a lonely bloke trying to pick me up or some sort of investigator trying to pump me for information. In either instance, I’d have to say that you’re failing miserably. I suggest that you forgo the runaround and get to the point so that I know what I’m dealing with.”
Angel: [He’s a little flustered by her abruptness—and the fact that as she turned to face him and spoke directly to him for the first time, he suddenly became aware of how attractive she is.] “Uh. Pumping. I mean, the second one. [He pulls out his card and hands it to her] Geoffrey hired me—us—to make sure everything goes smoothly.”
She can tell he’s holding something back. She likes the idea of getting the inside scoop on the security for the event, so she decides not to blow him off.
Miranda: “I’ll tell you what. I’m about to get a bite to eat and I hate to eat alone. Why don’t you tag along, you can buy me a drink and I’ll be happy to cooperate, all right?”
Angel: “I’m not actually that hungry. Can we just talk here?”
Miranda: “Oh, I think you misunderstood. I’m not suggesting we have dinner together—just that you accompany me while I eat and have a drink. Is that a problem?”
Angel: “No, no. It’s fine.”
Miranda: “Right then. Give me 5 minutes.”
They go to a nearby pub. Miranda answers Angel’s questions and she even gives him some information on a few of the other dealers. After a bit, she is able to get out of him what in particular he is most concerned with (the mystical/magical items). She offers to keep an ear and an eye open—she, herself has absolutely no interest in these items and so is truly happy to help out and is relieved that he poses no real threat to her plans, as the focus of the security is elsewhere. She clues him in on how these events often go, complete with stories of past foul play. She manages to talk him into having a drink with her and the conversation occasionally drifts to other things—she is able to get him talking a bit, much to his surprise. She’s had a lot of experience making even the most shy/quiet/broody men feel comfortable. She is not attracted to him in the least, but is enjoying their chat—she can tell he’s not human and guesses that he is possibly quite old, but nothing has been spoken. There is a side of her that feels a kinship with his broody/pensive/sad demeanor. She finds his cluelessness refreshing. He is somewhat transfixed by her. He worries a bit about how easy she seems to be able to get him to open up about things—he’s probably already told her too much about the artifacts. There is something different about her, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. After a brief pause in the conversation, they both talk at once:
Miranda: “You’re not human.” Angel: “You’re the woman in the picture.”
[they laugh]
Miranda: “You first.”
Angel: “The woman in the picture—it was you, right?”
Miranda: “Quite likely. It’s funny—it was such a long time ago, I don’t actually remember sitting for it, but there it was. Now you. You’re not human.”
Angel: “Nope.”
Miranda: “Can I ask how old you are?”
Angel: “Judging by that portrait, I’d say older than you.”
Miranda: “Hm. Not by too much, I suspect. Although it’s all relative, isn’t it? What’s a few generations to people like us?”
Angel: “You were younger in the portrait—so you haven’t always been...as you are?”
Miranda: “Not quite. Do I detect a fading irish accent hiding there?”
Angel: “From long ago. I’m surprised you could tell.”
Miranda: “My ears are sensitive to it. My husband was Irish. It’s just the mood of a couple of words and phrases that give it away.”
Angel: “Was?”
Miranda: “He was human. Ever mix with humans—in that way?”
Angel: “Once.”
Miranda: “Ended badly, didn’t it?”
Angel: [pause] “Yeah.”
Miranda: [She’s touched by the obvious emotion in his voice—something she can relate to] “Stuck it out to the end?”
Angel: “No. It was complicated.”
Miranda: “You did the right thing. It’s not worth it, you know. It would’ve just about killed you if you had. I’ll never do that again, I’ll tell you. I’m finished dating humans.”
Angel: “So what’s the alternative?”
Miranda: “I’ve come to learn that there are all sorts of immortals walking about—or at least types not as fragile as humans, so I thought I’d try that out for a bit. [Suddenly not wanting him to get the wrong impression] In fact, I’ve been dating someone for a few weeks now.”
Angel: “Oh.”
Miranda: “It’s better, I think. Better not to have that cloud of mortality always just overhead.”
Angel: “Hm.”
After this rather melancholy conversation, they soon decide to leave. Miranda goes back to her hotel, Angel back to his. Neither one is completely sure WHAT the other one is still—they never got past the vagueries. It’s definitely not clear to Angel at this point the extent to which Miranda is invulnerable vs. simply that she lives a long time.
***
Lazy summary of events: Angel, Cordy, Wes and Gunn meet the next day to discuss what they’ve learned. As is often the case with these things, there are many suspicious people out there and so they have a hard time eliminating potential threats. Angel tells them what he learned about Miranda, which, when he tries to articulate it, turns out to actually be very little. Still, when he’s finished, he pronounces that she should be eliminated from the ‘suspicious’ group. To which the gang bristles a bit.
Cordelia: “Hang on just a minute there, flyboy. Do we really know enough about her to know she’s not a threat? I think maybe someone is thinking with a part of him that has no business making decisions.”
Gunn: “You say she’s not human, right. So what is she then?”
Angel: “I don’t know. She’s old, I know that.”
Gunn: “uh-huh. How old exactly?
Angel: “I don’t know exactly. Not as old as me.”
Cordelia: “Oh, that’s real specific. I think you got something to go on there.” [eye roll]
Gunn: “Where’s grandma from, anyway?”
Angel: “Well, we didn’t actually get to that. [he offers] Not L.A.”
Wesley: “What does she deal in? Weapons? Cutlery? Vases?”
Angel: “Um. Well...”
Cordelia: “What did you talk about with her until 11 last night?”
Angel: [shrugs] “Stuff. Ok, so I didn’t get much information, but I get a good vibe from her.”
Cordelia: “A good vibe?”
Angel: “Yeah. She’s on the right side. I can tell.”
Gunn: “How can you tell?”
Angel: “Call it vampire intuition.”
Wesley: “I’m not sure I’m ready to cross her off the list because of ‘vampire intuition’. We’ll keep an eye on her like everyone else for now.”
Over the next few days, they (Angel, etc.) interact with Miranda on a couple of occasions and she is helpful in introducing them to some of her colleagues who have been arriving over the past few days. Angel and Miranda are friendly with each other. At one point, I had a scene in mind where there is some sort of altercation with ‘bad guys’ of some sort where it becomes evident that 1) Angel is a vampire and 2) Miranda can take care of herself (is good in a fight), but I just can’t be bothered to write it out. So there you have it. Jump forward to the evening before the BIG NIGHT. Things are starting to happen and as a precaution, Angel et al. are watching everyone very closely. Cordelia and Gunn are the ones who follow Miranda after she leaves the hall around 10pm. Miranda first stops at the hotel and gets changed into something appropriate for a nightclub—she looks v. sexy and chic. After favorably critiquing Miranda’s outfit and estimating what it must have cost her, Cordelia notes that she, herself is in no way dressed appropriately to follow Miranda into a club. She won’t let it go and starts to drive Gunn crazy with her whining (ah, this is old Cordelia!). Once they see where she’s going, Cordy convinces Gunn to let her run and change while he stays and keeps an eye on M. While Cordy is away, Gunn goes into the club and sees Miranda get a drink at the bar—is she scoping the place, or looking for someone in particular? The place is getting more and more crowded. Miranda finishes her drink and seemingly decides to hit the dance floor by herself (she’s actually spotted Spike and thought it would be fun to watch him (watch her) from the dance floor). She’s dancing enticingly—Gunn is heard to murmur “that is one FINE looking woman”. Suddenly, she’s lost sight of Spike—he’s no longer sitting where he was. She starts to turn around slowly, looking for him, when he appears behind her. He puts his hands on her shoulders and she turns her head without turning around and smiles, leaning back into him. He spins her around and brushes her cheek with his hand. They dance, slowly and seductively. Gunn is watching and mumbles “friendly girl”. After a while, Cordy arrives and finds Gunn.
Cordelia: “What’s up with grandma?”
Gunn: “Grandma’s been getting real friendly on the dance floor with some guy in leather.”
Cordelia: “ooh. Gotta see that. Where is she?” [Gunn points her view in the right direction. By the time Cordy spots her, Miranda and Spike are kissing on the dance floor—Cordelia sees the back of Spike] “Wait a minute. There’s something familiar about that coat...and that hair [M & S turn slightly so C can see] Oh my God. That’s Spike. We need to warn her.”
Gunn: “Who’s Spike?”
Cordelia:“He’s a vampire—bad news. Let’s go.”
C & G start heading towards the dance floor, but the crowd is very dense. Their progress is slow and by the time they get to where M & S were dancing, they’re gone. They search the bar, but can’t find them and finally admit that they must have left together. They look around a bit in the surrounding alleys to no avail. They try calling Miranda’s hotel room after a bit, but get no response. Finally, they give up and head back to the hotel to give the bad news to Angel. The bad news being 1) that Spike is in town and 2) that Miranda left with him. At this point, they do not think that Miranda knows Spike—only that perhaps he may have ‘lured’ her into the alley or something to bite her. I am still working on the assumption that they don’t know about the chip.
End Scene.
Scene 2
Rewind a bit to just after Spike & Miranda leave the club. They start to head off to where Miranda’s rental car is parked, but Spike keeps impeding their progress by periodically pushing her back against nearby buildings to kiss her.
Miranda: “Stop it, will you? There’ll be plenty of time for that a bit later. Were you able to find everything at the shop that I asked you to bring?”
Spike: “Yeah, it’s all in the van parked over by the Hall. [She tries to extricate herself and walk on—he stops her.] But I missed you.”
Miranda: “I missed you too, but we should check on the van before we head back to the hotel. [beat] It’s got a king sized bed.”
Spike: “Or. We could forgo the hotel and the bed and just duck around the corner for a bit before we check on the van.”
Miranda: [obviously tempted; she hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed him until she smelled him—touched him] “God, you’re a naughty boy. Tempting as that sounds, lets just get the work out of the way and we can spend the rest of the night playing.”
Spike: “Okay. Slave driver. But you’ll have to make it up to me.”
Miranda: “It’ll be my pleasure.”
They do what they need to do—stop off at the van; scope out the grounds of the Hall, etc. Finally, they return to the hotel. There’s a note on the door saying that she’d had a delivery and they’d put it in the room.
Miranda: “Fantastic. Just wait to you see this.”
Spike: “Could it be another lovely present from Miranda? I’m afraid.”
Miranda: “Sort of. [She’s very excited as she opens the closet to reveal two things hanging. She unzips the plastic covering on one of them to reveal a very stylish and modern all-black tuxedo] This, is what you’re going to wear tomorrow night.”
Spike: [He looks at it and frowns] “I don’t think so.”
Miranda: “What? But it’s brilliant—you’ll look stunning.”
Spike: “Yeah, not really my style though, is it? Don’t wear suits. Sorry.”
Miranda: “Come on now. Do you have any idea how much that suit cost me? More money than you’ll ever see in one place, I’ll tell you that.”
Spike: “I don’t care if you spent half your bloody fortune on it, I’m not wearing it. I’m not some doll that you can dress up any way you fancy. No way.”
Miranda: [big sigh] “Spike. I’m not asking you to make it a permanent part of your wardrobe—this isn’t me telling you how to dress. The show tomorrow is black tie—that means all men have to wear a tuxedo to get in the door. If you’re going to be my date—and that’s the way we’ve worked it out so that you’ll have access to the back rooms during the presentations—you have to wear the tux. What did you think? You’d escort me in my evening dress in your black t-shirt and trousers?”
Spike: “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it.”
Miranda: “Just try it on, ok? Trust me. No one will have a tux quite like this one—it was MADE for someone like you. Even bloody Johnnie Rotten would look good in this tux.”
Spike: [skeptical] “I’ll put it on. But if I look stupid—like some puffter—we’ll have to find another way.”
Miranda: “Promise.”
Spike: “To make this a less tortuous experience, I think you should dress me—after, of course, you’ve un-dressed me.”
She smiles and walks over to him. First, she puts her hands on his shoulders and pushes off his jacket, pausing briefly to touch her cheek with his. She then pulls up his t-shirt, running her hands along the sides of his bare chest as she does so. Then, looking straight into his eyes, she grabs his belt buckle and undoes the clasp, undoes the button of his pants and unzips. The pants are rather fitted and so don’t fall—so she works her hands under them on either side of his hips and pushes down. She pauses for a moment at the point where she would have to kneel down to pull them the rest of the way and leans into him. She has to concentrate to get back to the task at hand. He’s loving this.
Spike: “Aren’t you going to go all the way?”
She smiles as she pulls back and works the pants down to his ankles, pulls off one boot at a time and then the corresponding pant leg. As usual, lacking in undergarments, he’s now naked. She walks to the closet and takes out the tux. She pauses to look at him for a moment before taking the shirt off the hanger.
Miranda:[reluctant now to cover him up] “Now I’m beginning to see what you mean by tortuous”.
She takes a deep breath and proceeds to dress him in the tux. When she’s done, she stands back to look at him.
Spike: [impatient] “Well?”
He looks fantastic. The tux fits his lean body like a glove—it’s the kind of tux that a rock star could where and somehow still not look out-of-sorts. It’s a bit strange to see him dressed like this, because it’s SPIKE, but objectively, he looks stunning.
Miranda: “Oh Spike. [looking him over] It is such a pity that you can’t see yourself. I will be the envy of every woman at the show tomorrow. And perhaps a few of the men as well.”
Spike: [laughs] “You HAD to throw that in, didn’t you? Just when I was weakening.”
Miranda: “Come on. Do you know what I’m thinking about right now? I’m contemplating how I can have sex with you in that suit without wrinkling it. [cocks her head] hmmm. Perhaps we’ll have to leave that until tomorrow night, when wrinkling isn’t such a concern.”
Spike: “Now you’re playing dirty. All right. You win. Penguin suit it is. Now get me out of this thing before I instinctively find a pile of dirt to roll in.”
They hang the tux up carefully and then immediately get on the bed. They’re kneeling, facing each other. They’re very close, but not touching—the anticipation is palpable as they move nearer to each other without contact.
Spike: “I never used to think so, but 5 days is a very long time—not sure we can make up for it in one night.”
Miranda: “Next time, let me at least give you a cell phone so we can have phone sex.”
Spike: “Phone sex?!? Somehow that doesn’t sound very satisfying.”
There is seemingly a sudden release of energy in the room as they lunge at each other. Still both kneeling, Spike quickly takes off her top and pulls down her pants to her knees, but then he can’t wait and pushes her back on the bed and enters her with a moan of relief.
Spike: “Five days thinking about this exact moment and it’s even better. You’ve tightened up a bit already.”
Miranda: “That or you’ve grown.” [smiling]
They get into a groove and both are too quickly ready to come—to keep it going, Spike stops for a moment.
Spike: “Let’s take those pants off, shall we?”
He goes to the foot of the bed and pulls off her shoes. He takes her toes in his mouth, which makes her gasp in delight. He pulls off her pants and when he’s finished with the second leg, she turns over, gets on her knees and holds onto the headboard, looking back at him over her shoulder seductively. He takes the cue and moves up to her on his knees, entering her from behind. He takes her breasts in his hands and kisses the back of her neck as he thrusts slowly. He sits up a bit and moves his hand across her back, gently outlining her birthmarks with his finger. He then moves his right hand around her hips and moves his fingers between her outer lips, feeling her wet and swollen inner lips. He finds the right spot and moves his fingers rhythmically with his thrusting. This has an instant affect on Miranda, as she immediately moans with pleasure—within a minute, she is bucking, pulling him deep inside her as he brings her to orgasm. When she’s finished, he pulls out, turns her over onto her back and is inside her again. He kisses her hard on the lips and down her neck.
Spike: “I don’t think I can wait for the second thing I’ve been thinking about for five days.” [and with this, he vamps out and moves in to bite.]
Miranda: [taken by surprise] “No. Spike. Not now” [She squirms and pushes him away.]
Spike: “So that’s the game tonight? I like it.”
[He takes her arms and pushes them into the pillows by her head (he’s much stronger than she is, obviously) and with a little ‘play’ growl, he bites her. She continues to protest.]
Miranda: “NO! Spike. I mean it.”
She slips her arms out from under him and using them, and then her legs, tries to push him off.
Miranda: “Spike this isn’t a game. Listen to me!”
She’s getting very angry and upset as he continues to drink. After what seems like minutes (although in truth, its only seconds), she gets an angle and is able to just push him away.
Miranda:“Get off! Get off...you...animal.”
Spike: [freaked by her tone of voice] “What’s wrong?”
Miranda is bleeding quite profusely from the bite—her activity and anger are making her bleed more quickly. Spike moves in with a bit of the sheet to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding, but she bats his hand away and tries to get up. She’s light-headed and so as soon as she stands up, her knees buckle and she has to support herself on a chair.
Spike: [irritated] “What’s your problem?”
Miranda: “MY problem? My problem? You broke the bloody first rule, remember? Ask first. And then you completely ignored me when I asked you to stop, you bastard.”
Spike: “Sorry, love, I didn’t think you meant it.”
Miranda: [low and angry] “Get out.”
Spike: “You can’t be serious. I said I was sorry. Was just a misunderstanding is all.”
Miranda: “I can’t trust you. Just get out so I can think.”
She’s a bit irrational because of the drop in blood pressure and the sudden worry that perhaps she can’t trust him and how could she have been so careless—lots of things are running through her mind as the tears well up.
Spike: [frustrated] “I don’t see what the big deal is. I said I was sorry. I’ll listen more closely next time.”
Miranda: “You are not the one who decides whether or not it’s a big deal. [calming down a bit] I am. That’s why the rules are important. I’m the one affected—I make the rules. [Spike is still looking puzzled. There is a pause before Miranda speaks again] Do you have any idea who is going to be at this thing tomorrow—who may in fact be in this very hotel right now? Immortals. Very old ones, some—thousands of years old. I have to be on my guard. I have to be at my best. [her voice cracks and her hands are shaking a bit] What you did could cost me everything. [She’s now sitting on the floor by the chair.]
Spike: [softening; feeling bad] “I didn’t know.”
Miranda: “Of course you didn’t. But I did. I shouldn’t have put myself in this situation. Fuck. I’m dating a bloody vampire. How could I expect you to follow rules? It’s my fault for thinking I can trust you.”
Spike: “That’s not fair. Don’t give up on me yet—I just wasn’t thinking. I was so happy to see you...”
Miranda: [the anger is gone from her voice; it has softened into sadness] “Could you just give me a minute? Get a drink at the bar downstairs or something? I need to think.”
Spike: “yeah, Ok”
He puts some clothes on and leaves. She sits there for a bit and then gets up and goes to the bathroom to clean herself up. She’s feeling very weak. She goes to her purse and pulls out a phone number. Skip ahead 30 minutes or so. Miranda appears at the hotel bar where Spike is waiting. She looks pale, but in a better mood. She sits at the bar stool next to him.
Miranda: “Care to buy me a drink?”
Spike: “That depends. What’s in it for me?”
Miranda: “An apology.”
Spike: “And what do you have to be sorry for? I thought I was meant to be the bad guy.”
Miranda: “I think perhaps we’re both on the dark side of grey in this particular occasion. I overreacted. [pause] I’m just so skittish around other Immortals—haven’t quite figured it out yet—how to behave. I guess I was more uptight about it than I thought. Sorry to have gone all psycho-bitchy on you up there.”
Spike: “Lucky for you, I’ve had quite a lot of experience dealing with crazy women. Still want that drink?”
Miranda: “Nah. Let’s just go to bed”
They head upstairs.
Spike: “You know, if you’re worried about not being in top form for tomorrow, I am capable of helping you out. Kicking ass is something I do quite well.”
Miranda: “I know. I actually called one of the few Immortal friends I have while you were at the bar. He assured me that these things usually go off without incident—kind of an unwritten rule. Of course, that doesn’t help me with my REAL problem—how to cover up the bite marks while still being able to wear my sexy sleeveless evening gown.”
Spike: “So NOW we get to the real reason for your psycho behavior before—the dress.”
They get back into bed and go to sleep—they have a make-up shag in the morning :)
End Scene.
Scene 3
Outside the entrance to the event. People dressed in tuxes and evening dresses are milling about. Angel and the others are watching the entrance carefully. Angel is still very agitated from Cordy and Gunn’s news about last night—they haven’t been able to get a hold of Miranda (they actually had been given the wrong room number by mistake and so had spend the night calling the wrong place) and he assumes the worst. Still, they have an obligation to do the job they were hired to do—police the event. Spike and Miranda have planned to meet at the Hall—she needed to take care of some last minute business and so is a few minutes late. Spike arrives with his usual swagger and after looking around briefly and not seeing Miranda, he starts to light a cigarette. He is suddenly grabbed by the lapels and thrown hard against a wall by Angel.
Spike: “Nice to see you too, Peaches. Why don’t you take your bloody hands off me, you daft overgrown penguin.” [Angel is in a more traditional tuxedo; Spike breaks away briefly, but then Angel grabs hold again.]
Angel: “What did you do to Miranda? Cordy saw you with her last night.”
Spike: “So. What business is it of yours?”
Angel: [seething] “What did you do?”
Spike: “Has it really been that long for you? Poor sod. I could draw you a picture if it would help.”
This infuriates Angel, as he assumes that Spike is talking about biting/killing. He puts his hand on Spike’s throat and starts choking him.
Angel: “I am SO going to enjoy dusting you once and for all.”
Just as he’s fumbling in his tux for a stake, Cordy calls to Angel from the entrance and he turns to look at her—she’s pointing to Miranda who is still at quite a distance, but walking in the general direction of the door. She hasn’t seen Angel and Spike. Angel loosens his grip slightly and Spike squirms his way out of Angel’s grasp.
Spike: “Don’t know what you’re on about. She’s my girlfriend, you tosser. And what we DO is entirely none of your business.”
Angel is frozen for a moment, taking this in; Spike takes the opportunity to shove him hard. Just then, Miranda comes hurrying up to them. She quickly pulls them apart and steps in between them.
Miranda: [angry] “What’s going on here?!?”
Angel: [trying to explain] “Uh, Cordy saw you leave with Spike last night and so we just assumed that he’d...”
Miranda: “You were having me followed? Now there’s a sign of trust. You know each other?”
Spike: [much bitterness] “Peaches and I go way back, don’t we?”
Angel: [more bitterness] “You could say that.”
Miranda: [facing Angel] “Regardless, Spike’s here with me tonight—we’re partners. And I surely hope you didn’t damage his tux with your fighting, else I shall be very cross with you."
Spike, now enjoying the moment has his arms around Miranda possessively from behind.
Spike: [smirking at Angel] “She looks lovely, don’t you think?” [Angel just scowls]
Miranda: “You’ll have to excuse us—I’m expected at my booth. I do have something to tell you, Angel, that may be helpful to your investigation. I’ll catch up with you a bit later.”
At this, they stroll towards the entrance, arm-in-arm. Angel tells the others of this development and instructs them all to watch Spike carefully. A bit later, Cordy runs into Miranda in the restroom. M is fiddling with her necklace, which is a fairly wide choker of laced gold. As Cordy comes in, M is lifting up the choker slightly to apply some cover-up to the bite mark. She tries to pretend that it just a regular hicky and says “Men. They do like to leave their mark, don’t they?” C plays along, but knows a vampire bite when she sees one. She immediately goes running to Angel with the news, which both confuses him and fuels his suspicion of Spike. As promised, M arranges to meet A just outside the back door to tell him something she found out from one of her Immortal friends about the heist of the artifacts. They stop outside—she closes the door behind them and then proceeds to carefully look around to be sure no one likely to overhear. Angel is just staring at her as she does this. She finally, looks at him and despite the expression on his face, starts right in:
Miranda: “So I was talking with a colleague, Samuel, who is...” [Angel interrupts]
Angel: “So Spike’s your boyfriend—the non-human you’ve been dating.”
Miranda: [a bit taken aback] “I thought we’d covered this. Yes. Now, Samuel thinks that...” [Angel interrupts again]
Angel: “Explain to me how dating Spike, a vampire, is a viable alternative to dating humans for someone like you?”
Miranda: [annoyed at his condescending tone] “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that you were a vampire.”
Angel: “Yeah, but that’s different. I don’t kill people—I have a soul. I thought I’d explained that to you.”
Miranda: “Spike doesn’t kill people either. Beyond that, I don’t really know what the whole ‘soul’ business is all about anyway.”
Angel: “Right. Spike doesn’t kill people [under his breath; “I wonder what kind of scam he’s working”]. Is that what he told you? Because he’s about as evil and twisted as they come.”
Miranda: “You know, he’s been good to me and maybe that’s all I care about right now.”
Angel: “That’s crap. You’re not exactly his type—I mean, you're not LIKE him. There’s something else going on here.”
Miranda: “Yeah, maybe there is, but I’m not going to stand here and justify myself to you and your condescending attitude—it’s none of your bloody business who I choose to date, so bugger off.”
Angel: [He pulls off her necklace to reveal the bite] “So what’s that about then?”
Miranda: [furious now] “I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just do that. Do you want to know what Samuel told me or not, because I’m getting very tired of this game.”
He grabs her arm and pulls her a bit closer to him.
Miranda: “What are you doing? Feeling for pulse? [sarcastic] Yeah, I’m a vampire. That MUST be it. Did you or did you not see me wearing a cross pendant ALL WEEK?”
Angel: “But you haven’t had that vamp hicky all week.”
Miranda: [She knocks his hand away. She’s extremely irritated, but knowing that he is not going to let this drop] “Fine. I let him bite me sometimes. So what?”
Angel: “Oh, this is getting better by the minute. You let him bite you? And yet you think he’s not using you?”
Miranda: [His prudish attitude is making her take an alternative approach to explaining things to him] “Maybe that’s what relationships are all about—using each other. Let me tell you, it’s not all about him. He does things that make me feel very, very good and I return the favor—it’s no different from other relationships in that regard. There’s no one being taken advantage of here. And to be quite honest, I like it—adds another level of excitement to sex. Are we done?”
Angel: [he has no idea how to respond to this] “It’s not right. This isn’t like you. You’re going to get hurt.”
Miranda: [incredulous laugh]. “Not like me? You know nothing about me. All you know is what I've shown you. [beat] I know why this upsets you so much—you’re turned on by it. Would be the perfect situation for you now, wouldn’t it? You get the biting without the death and the guilt that comes with it. You hate that you’re excited by it because you hate anything related to the vampire inside you.”
Angel: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never...”
Before he can finish, she decides to zing him a bit because she’s so pissed off. She bites her lip hard so that it bleeds and then kisses him on the lips. It’s a malicious act on her part. She then quickly rushes back into the hall, leaving him stunned in the alley.
**
The evening continues. Spike has disappeared behind the scenes and Miranda is dutifully mingling. After a time, she spies Cordelia and Wesley rushing towards one of the back doors and can tell that something is up. She hasn’t seen Angel since their interchange. A few minutes go by and none of them re-appear, so Miranda decides to have peek out back to see what’s going on. She doesn’t find them right away and is suddenly confronted with an agonizing pain in her gut—another Immortal is nearby. She heads in that direction, despite the absence of her sword and soon comes across what appears to be a standoff between Angel and the MoG. and another group of men. Two thugs have Gunn and Cordy and Angel has just been forced to drop his weapon—the air is very tense and it’s obvious that someone is about to make a move. Miranda can see Wesley in the shadows. She confidently walks right into the ‘fray’ with a cigarette in hand.
Miranda: “Anyone have a light? I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
A man in a tuxedo walks towards her from out of the shadows. He’s a solidly built man with black hair, brown eyes and an air of age—a tiredness, perhaps. He looks to be roughly in his early 40s and walks with a plodding confidence.
Man: “An...Miranda. [smiling genuinely, he lights her cigarette] It’s been a long time. Always a pleasure.”
Miranda: [she takes the light and then greets him with a kiss on the cheek] “Joseph. Nice to see you. [She looks at him for a moment. A concerned look crosses her face] “You look tired. [he shrugs in acknowledgment] What’s this all about, then?”
Joseph: “Nothing you need to concern yourself with. [The look on her face tells him she’s not leaving without a bit more explanation] Just caught these mortals interfering with some business of mine. Nothing I can’t handle.”
Miranda: “Ah, but you see I am concerned. The big bloke over there is a friend of mine [indicating Angel] and the rest of them are friends of his. Perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement.”
Joseph: [looking to Angel and then back to Miranda. He obviously has a good deal of respect for her opinion] “Perhaps.”
Miranda: “Let me introduce you. [She waves Angel over] “Joseph, this is Angel of Angel Investigations. He and his crew were hired to protect presumably whatever is in that case over there. Angel, this is Joseph—an old friend. [they shake hands] Joseph, why don’t you explain what you’re going to do with that.” [indicating the case]
Joseph: “The items in that case were stolen from a very good friend of mine quite some time ago. As a personal favor, I am retrieving them.”
Angel: “Without compensation.”
Joseph: “I don’t purchase stolen goods.”
Angel: “And what does your friend intend on doing with them?”
Joseph bristles at Angel’s tone; Miranda intercedes.
Miranda: “Apparently these items have a great deal of mystical power and in the wrong hands could cause quite a shake-up in the world. I believe Angel’s main concern is that whoever ends up with them is not likely to engage these powers.”
Joseph: “I suspect they will simply be displayed in his personal collection. He is a good man. Not the sort to engage in any kind of mysticism.”
Angel: [glancing at Miranda] “Sometimes people aren’t what they seem.”
Joseph: “I know him. I’ll give you my word that these things will be safely guarded in his care. If you’ll take it, we can all go our separate ways without further incident.”
He is not a man to give his word lightly and this is obvious from his demeanor.
Angel: “uh... [He looks at Miranda, who gives him an encouraging look] Ok.”
At this, Joseph immediately give a nod to his ‘muscle’ to let Cordy and Gunn go. The men pick up the case and head off down the alley.
Joseph: [to Miranda] "I need to be on my way. It’s a shame we didn’t get a chance to talk. [turning to Angel] I apologize for the rough reception we gave your colleagues. Any friend of Miranda will get no trouble from me.”
He holds out his hand to shake Angel’s. He then turns to Miranda, gives out a short laugh and whispers something into her ear. In response, she gives him a forced little acknowledging smile—as if to say “ha ha, very funny. NOT (with eye roll)”. He says goodbye, kisses her on the cheek and then walks away.
Angel: “What was that about?”
Miranda: “He just thinks its funny that your name is Angel. And not for the obvious reason that it’s a rather unexpected sort of name for a hulking thick-necked bloke like yourself. Rather, he finds it humorous because that’s what he used to call me. [explaining] The old Immortals—and when I say ‘old’ I mean it—have a habit of giving nicknames to the rest of us as a way to keep track, I guess. [rolling her eyes] We get no say in it. Anyway, they’ve taken to calling me ‘Angel’ because, well, there’s probably a few reasons, none of which particularly compelling. Anyway, they know I don’t like it, but they insist on using it just to take the piss—they find it very amusing. Oh, no offense, but it’s just such a girlie name. [catching herself] For a girl, I mean.”
At this point, the rest of the crew is gathered around them and all start talking at once to Angel and each other. Miranda uses the opportunity to slip away.
Gunn: “So what’s the plan? Slip around the block and cut them off?”
Angel: “We’re going to let them go.”
He’s feeling his neck with his hand.
Cordelia: “That’s nice. And what are we going to tell our PAYING employer? Some guy in a tux gave us his word, so we let the nice men take the case? [resigned] We’re never going to get paid, are we?”
Angel: “It’s fine. We were hired to be sure that the case didn’t end up in the wrong hands—we kept it away from Wolfram and Hart, so I would say we did OK. [to no one in particular] Would you say I have a thick neck?”
End Scene.
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