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Buffy & Xander: 2 Naughty, 2 Good	By : theBrizzle Category: BtVS AU/AR > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Xander Views: 5749 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
~*~
�We can go to Burger King and get some,� Tara smiled hopefully. �Surprise Xander and Buffy. Celebrate the fact that I�m a total biology genius.�
Willow was trying so hard to be chipper. Last night she had made her bed. Told both Buffy and Xander to not worry about the mess of it and now � with the bright morning light flooding the kitchen and the birds chirping outside � she had to lie in it. A broken, flaming, pile of wreckage and dog poop Serta Perfect Sleeper. Just for her.
Tara frowned when Willow gave her a brief bright smile and vigorous nod, but then dropped the expression and retreated back inside where ever the place was inside herself that she had been hiding out in for the last few weeks. �Darwin�s great great great grand daughter loved French toast sticks, too,� she blonde witch approached her girlfriend with a soft smile and leaned into where she sat; brushing some the fiery red hair away from her neck.
Willow snapped back to reality and met her loving gaze and felt like an even bigger piece of crap. �Only three greats? Darwin is way older than that. And did he even have children?� she babbled and was slightly worried that she could only barely hear Buffy and Xander anymore. Were they talking? She couldn�t pick them up as easy if they were just having a normal conversation. They weren�t sleeping. In fact, Buffy had been up for hours, but had chosen to stay in her room�away from Willow. Were they fucking�again? More after last night? Buffy loved to polish Xander�s morning wood�
Willow shook her head slightly to clear it. Why should she care what they were doing? What they were talking about that they didn�t want her to hear? If they were talking about her.
�I�m not really related, I don�t think,� Tara�s brow furrowed even though her voice was as soft as her touch on Willow�s neck. �I was just emoting on how well I did on my test this morning.�
Willow tried to give a genuine smile and leant into her hand. �My baby�s a genius.� Somehow her facial expression didn�t reach her tone and the statement came out more grave than Willow would have liked.
Tara smiled shyly, nonetheless, �Not quite a genius�� her girlfriend quirked an eyebrow. �Ok, so genius level IQ,� Tara settled, �and still perceptive to non-book related things.� She saw the perfect segue to Willow�s blank expression and depressed demeanor. �Like what�s been going on with you.�
Willow�s eyes sparked and she opened her mouth in a sputtered denial. �What? I�there�s nothing�I�� Tara was watching her expectantly and Willow let her eyes fall shut � but only for a second because ever since she had woken up every time she let herself relax, images of the night before flashed through her mind; left her skin tingling with the sensation of phantom touches of hands and lips�that weren�t Tara�s. But Willow knew that when she went wide eyed and stuttered everybody who had ever met her knew that she was lying. She had made the expression too may times over the past few weeks for Tara to not be suspicious because she knew what it meant.
�So what?� the blond witch prompted. �I�m assuming its pretty big since the dynamic duo hasn�t made themselves known yet�and I don�t hear any of their usual morning activities, so I know that they�re not busy. Probably recuperating from a Dawnless night, huh?� She watched Willow avert her eyes and flush bright red. �Unless it�� she trailed off and studied the redhead with slit eyes for a moment. Tara�s expression melted into neutralness when Willow continued to stare at the table top in front of her, and she slid onto a stool across from her. She reached for Willow�s hand. �Where have you been in there, sweetie?� she gestured with both of her hands to Willow�s bowed head.
Willow was silent for a moment before mustering the weak response, �Just hanging out.� Tara squeezed her hand in recognition of her response and Willow raised her eyes, at last, to face her girlfriend. She held the gaze�and her breath, and when she saw the love: unconditional and pure being reflected at her through Tara�s warm and worried grey orbs, tears threatened to fall again. Willow sniffled loudly and snatched her hand away � refusing the contact that she didn�t deserve. �It went wrong,� she mumbled, the pressure of keeping the secret one second longer breaking her down. �Giles� spell went wrong and now I�m in here,� she spoke hurriedly and pointed at her head, ��and up there,� she pointed half heartedly to the ceiling.
�I�I d�don�t understand,� Tara negated her initial nod. �What spell? Up where?�
Willow exhaled a shaky breath, the two whispers in her mind that she had been trying to listen in on went eerily silent while a half decent, if there was one, excuse formed. �The spell,� Willow began finally, �that Giles gave me. The last one that was in that funky language and it was supposed to let me into their minds�Buffy and Xander�s minds for just a little bit�so I could understand better�a�and make sure that they wouldn�t be hurt by it,� Willow clarified before her girlfriend could even ask. �I read it wrong,� she couldn�t look at her anymore. �It put me in their minds�spread their link to me and I could hear them, they could hear me.�
�That�s all?� Tara�s confusion melted into a reassuring smile. �We can go see Gil��
�I can feel them,� Willow cut her off. The dam broke and now it was all or nothing. �For three weeks I could feel them��
�Three?�
�I liked it,� Willow gulped, �and I wanted it��
�Feel them what?�
��and I started it.�
�Started what?�
Willow�s eyes stung with restrained tears and when she looked into Tara�s eyes�looked deep into her eyes she saw confusion personified�and fear�and it was aer der doing. �Last night,� she choked on her admission. �You weren�t here,� she received a nod, �and�I�I was trying to reverse it�I wanted it to not be *that*�to not feel�� her voice dropped off into a thick whisper, ��andIkissedher,� she finished quickly. �Or she kissed me�� she looked into Tara�s surprisingly well hidden shocked and hurt expression and kept speaking. �And then Xander��
She had never seen Tara go so pale in all the time she had known her, even when the Gentlemen had almost killed her, or when she found out about demons and monsters running free in the town, or when she was needed to invoke powerful magicks for Buffy to stop them�never as pale as she was right at that moment, and never as expressionless despite of it.
Tara took a deep breath in an obvious attempt to find her voice and calm herself. Her voice was weakly quiet and she tried to smile reassuringly, but the actual expression waviered and never reached her eyes. �So�y�you kissed her. Ok��
��and him,� Willow averted his eyes to the floor. �I kissed Xander too.�
�You kissed them�together?�
Willow nodded shamefully and wasn�t able to meet her girlfriend�s eyes. �I�I don�t��
Tara wasn�t a brash person, and had been supremely shy up until a few years ago when she had started her relationship with Willow. She took great pride in the person who she was now and attributed a great deal of that to her girlfriend and her friends. Willow�s group had accepted her and trusted her�were her friends � her very best friends, and now�
She laughed bitterly to herself. They were friends, just the three of them first. Way before they even knew her. But still�that still doesn�t� �If you can do it, you can at least look me in the eyes and tell me.�
Willow looked up at the harsh tone and found Tara staring at her still � seemingly bracing herself for what she knew was coming. The admission. The truth.
�So just say it,� she beckoned. �Tell me what you did. What you all��
�We slept together.� Willow spoke quickly, trying to get it all out like she was pulling off a band aid � but her loves heart broke much more slowly. She watched it happen right before her eyes. �I��
�Slept with them? Sex?� Willow nodded slowly. �With them?� Another nod. �Xander? And�and Buffy?�
Willow bit her lip to keep from crying and stop the tremors she felt building in her body.
�I�I didn�t know she��
�She doesn�t,� Willow spoke lowly and tried not to make her voice sound as if she were sorry about the fact. She needed to stay as emotionless as possible for her own sake. �She�it was��
�Only you,� Tara swallowed deeply and her girlfriend nodded. �Only you so y�you �cheated on me.� Tara nodded cynically.
�Love you.� Willow said directly after, not correcting, but simply stating a truth. �I love you so much, Tara,� her voice broke and her eyes started filling with tears.
Willow was hunching over and shaking slightly again and it took everything that Tara had in her to not rush to her side and offer some consolation. She hated herself because that was her first innate reaction � make Willow feel better. Stop Willow�s tears. What about her tears, though? Her love? What about this should make her rush to Willow and not the other way around?
And then, as if Willow had read her mind, she was. Willow crossed the table barrier between them and tentivly reached out for her, pulling her into her arms in a light hug. Tara wasn�t at the point beyond shock and heartbreak to put up an active resistance, so her hesitation was born of simple numbness. Ironic, Tara thought, that Willow had come to her this time � was trying to make her feel better and knowing that she was being torn apart inside despite a calm exterior, since she heard a door open upstairs and some slow footsteps making there way to the top of the stairs. Willow couldn�t read her mind�she could read theirs. Tara idly wondered what they were thinking now, and her lack of concentration on her emotions cost her tears that began to fall down on Willow�s shoulder.
�I love you Tara,� the redhead whispered and rocked slightly back and forth. �I love you so much�I�m so sorry�� She was crying to. Wishing against hope that she was able to take it back. She thought idly of a list of spells that could make that happen, but then heard a mild protest from Buffy. A sad, weak, diminutive plea that showed that she felt Willow�s hesitancy at them being able to feel each other.
�Why?� Tara asked finally with a sni sniffle as she pushed Willow away. �Why would you?�
She didn�t have an answer. The night before she had rationalized as well as she could and gotten what she had wanted at the time. But now, looking into Tara�s eyes and not needing a mental link to pick up her pain, none of what Willow had offered as justifications to herself were holding any weight. Tara would want her to be happy � but Tara made her happy. She would want her to feel loved � she loved her so much that it hurt. Everything that Willow had told herself being with her two best friends would bring her, she already had with her girlfriend � and she had it without all the drama and tears and secrets and lies. It was just a no strings attached given. She had her happiness in Tara and Tara had hers in her. �I made a mistake,� Willow gave the only lame excuse that she had left. She wouldn�t demean Tara any further with the other drivel she had formulated. �A stupid stupid mistake��
�And you think that you love me?� the blond Wicca asked skeptically. �You think,� she faced the withering redhead down, ��that *this* is love? Love is trust, Willow. Not��
�She does love you.� The interruption was sad and it floated into the kitchen before its speaker made themselves known. �God,� Buffy�s voice was choked and her face was red � obvious that she had been crying. �I�ve been up since dawn because she loves you, you have to believe that.�
The formally shy girl faced down the new occupants of the kitchen. Buffy and Xander still bundled in pajamas, freshly decided to join the show. Tara couldn�t help the bitter scowl that formed on her features when she looked at them. Her friends...
�We�re so sorry.� Xander spoke from behind Buffy. �We don�t know what to tell you besides that we�re sorry. We�I�I�m just so sorry and I�� his voice hitched and Tara looked to see both Buffy and Willow fighting tears.
It made her feel bad for all of them, but then the inkling was washed over by anger. They were so Goddamned close now. Could feel what the other was feeling and cry each other�s tears. They had something that nobody in the world was supposed to be able to share, and anything close to that with Willow, Tara wanted for herself. But she couldn�t, and Buffy could.
�She�s been my best friend since forever,� Xander collected himself and spoke as evenly as he could. He stepped closer to Buffy and wrapped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his chest slightly in an effort to quell her tears. �And�she loves you, Tara. I�ve never seen her love anybody as much as she loves you...�
�Not even you?� The hurt in the question that Tara posed to Xander while looking at Willow resonated in the exceptionally well lit room. If the weather were dependent on mood, it would no doubt be the eye of a hurricane in the kitchen. Cold and rainy and lonely�the answer � Willow�s answer would hang in the stale air and redefine everything that was about the Scoobies. He knew the answer and she wanted him to say it�to tell her that she was in his best friend�s heart in a way that he wasn�t and would never be again�wanted him to vacate the spot that he held for so long�
And Xander didn�t lie when he looked at Willow, dead in the eyes and saw it. Felt it. Buffy must have too because she hugged him a little tighter. ��not even me.�
He had held it for too long, and now Xander had to move on.
Tara nodded at his solemn answer and watched Buffy lean into him. He should have enough. Didn�t the slayer have a problem with the fact that her boyfriend was so enamored with Willow? Why would she offer solace for a relationship that would ultimately exclude her too. But, then again, why should she? Willow had had sex with her too�
�Can you undo this?� She asked shakily.
�She was going to last night�� Buffy spoke quickly, but then trailed off.
�Got sidetracked, did you guys?� Tara�s question was poised with venom that none of her friend knew that she had. She didn�t apologize and turned to Buffy and Xander, �Did you guys have fun? Sleeping with my girlfriend�was it good?�
�Tara�� Xander spoke up when he felt the other woman�s glare boring into Buffy.
�No�you know what? Just�don�t, okay.� The Wicca�s voice wavered. �I don�t think that there�s anything that either of you � any of you can say that will make me feel better about any of this.�
Xander tried nonetheless, �We never meant to hurt you��
�*Your* girlfriend didn�t go behind your back and sleep with two other people did she?!� Tara�s voice rose. �The person you love more than anything�the reason you�re still here didn�t throw everything you feel back in your face, did she?!� He shook his head simply because there was nothing else to do. �And whatever she did do, you sat back and watched�you got exactly what you wanted��
�Seeing you like this isn�t what any of us wanted Tara,� Buffy denied softly. �We all made a mistake. We all acted in a moment and��
�...and if you love her you won�t let this��
�Don�t you dare tell me what I won�t do.� Tara spoke with a quiet forcefulness that the other occupants of the room had no choice but to nod to. �Your say in this is done.�
�But you do love her,� Buffy nodded hopefully at Willow. �Just like she does you, and I don�t want�� She stopped when Xander squeezed her shoulder. �Please don�t hurt her,� Buffy pleaded quietly. �She doesn�t deserve it�and you make her so happy.�
�And I make her happy?� Tara imitated Buffy disbelievingly and then turned to face her silent girlfriend. �Do I? So you think I deserve this?� Willow shook her head and took a step closer to her again when she saw tears begin to fall anew. Tara shook her head and held up her hand to stop her advance. �I�God, Willow, I love you so much��
�Me too. I love you too��
��and I want to trust you�to be with you.� The redhead nodded in agreement. �But this�� Tara continued and gestured over her shoulder to where Buffy and Xander were standing. �This needs to be undone.�
�I will,� Willow spoke quickly. �I�ll undo it right now. I have all the books and talismans. I�ll undo it right now.�
Tara nodded, her face hard and her eyes moist with contained tears. �Then call Giles in case something goes�wrong,� she turned and headed out of the kitchen, heading for her room in Buffy�s home. She didn�t know if she wanted to get out of the room or the house, but she had settled that she would at least need to be away from the three of them for a little while. �He�ll help and I�ll watch you do it. Make sure it stays done.�
~*~

Tara�s Car

Near Sunset

Jan 19

~*~
Willow was silent when she came back downstairs with a rather hefty duffle bag after Giles had finished talking to her. If it were possible, she looked even sadder than she did when the whole thing came out into the open. Good.
That had been what Tara settled on when she heard Willow telling Dawn that she would see her the next day. They�d go to dinner and talk about some things. Good.
The teen at least deserved to know why everything she knew was going to have to change, she just hoped that there was an explanation suitable enough for Buffy�s little sister. If not, she hoped that the one Willow would give her wouldn�t be too traumatizing. Dawn had so little family left � Tara would never want to deprive her of any more, no matter what the circumstances.
But still, just as she had informed Buffy and Xander, she and Willow needed time. Needed to work things out and talk and find out why what had happened, happened. Find out if it were possible to just have it be a one time thing. A mistake, Willow kept saying with the strongest conviction. Willow had reassured her over and over that she didn�t want Buffy and Buffy didn�t want her. She didn�t know why it happened, she claimed, but she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wouldn�t happen again.
The car ride had been silent besides that.
�Are you hungry?� Willow asked tentatively after a few moments. �You�you�ve been doing stuff all day. Have you eaten?�
Tara shook her head slightly and turned briefly away from the road. �Nope. Not really any time.�
Willow nodded and looked down at her hands. �Um, do you�do you want to stop somewhere�Two To Tango? We can��
�What was it like?� Tara cut her off and didn�t turn to meet her eyes. �What was it like to�to feel everything that the one you were with was feeling?�
Willow shrugged. �Overrated.�
Tara chuckled cynically. �Really? Love that was so complete��
�We can get that�that�� Willow wished she could remember what she was thinking before she tried to interrupt, but was thankful for an opportunity to change the subject.
�That�s how I want to love you.� Tara continued anyway. �I just want�I want to be the one��
�What was that stuff�� Willow scrunched her brow. She knew Tara loved her - she wanted Tara to believe that she loved her. That she always would. But she didn�t want to compare what they had to what she had done with Buffy and Xander � the three of them, for her, couldn�t even come close to what she and her girlfriend had. What she felt for her was so over and beyond any momentary lust that to even think that one sexual experience could mean more would be a slap in the face, and she didn�t want to do that.
((Cajun codfish alfredo)) Tara thought idly.
((YES! We can get some of�))
Willow�s eyes were wide when she realized what had just happened. That she heard Tara in her mind and�
The car swerved off the shoulder of the road and she and her girlfriend faced each other with matching looks of pure shock. �Did you just��
�You heard that?!�
((The spell!))
And a genuine smile broke out on Tara�s face the the first time that day. A smile that Willow matched shyly as that pulled back onto the road � still headed for the UC Sunnydale campus. ((What do you think I translated wrong this time?))
((I dunno)) Tara gulped and adjusted to the tingling sensation that Willow created in her mind. ((We�ll ask Giles later.))

~*~

Sunnydale High School

Same time near sunset

Jan 19

~*~

She had seen him from a distance and didn�t speak as she approached his perch on the steps in front of the high school. Xander didn�t turn to acknowledge her and Buffy sat down next to him, staring briefly into the open space he was so intently focused on, and then grabbed his right hand in her own. She gave it a gentle squeeze and then without a word, lifted his pliable arm over her head and wrapped it around her shoulders.
Buffy fit herself against his side snuggly, still holding his hand with their fingers interlaced. �Knew you were here,� she commented quietly while watching the sun set through a pair of houses across the street.
�I told you I was here,� Xander pointed out with a squeeze of her hand. �You should have known.�
Buffy rolled her eyes and nudged his thigh with her knee. �Am I supposed to know the why and the wherefore of this particular location, too?� she sighed when Xander turned her head and pressed a lingering kiss to the top of it.
�Yep,� he answered simply. �For somebody who�s currently mining my thoughts,� he felt Buffy pout and stop her active search of his subconscious. �You sure need a lot of explanations.�
She pursed her lips and rocked against him again. ((Stop making fun of me.))
Xander turned and kissed her head again while tightening his hold on her. ((Sorry.)) His tone was solemn as was his posture as he maintained his gaze on the sunset. The spell that Willow, Giles and Tara had done that morning was so anti-climatic that there was no way that it didn�t work. It was the complete opposite of the explosion that had knocked them out and gifted them with this insight into each other.
Sometimes change ripped through your life like a turbo rocket � turning it inside out and upside down. Other times�other's like now, it was quiet: swallowing up and devouring the past silently. The only sound that marked this change was the chirping of the birds overhead and the subtle tick of Buffy�s watch.
When the sun sinks below the horizon on the day of invocation the unconscious will return to mystery. Back into your own self you shall retreat and remain and the voices shall cease, as it was meant to be.
Sunset was in ten minutes.
Giles� face had been priceless when Tara had explained what the problem was in detail as soon as Giles had walked in the door. Buffy had made it a personal goal to try to embarrass her Watcher in the past, but nothing had succeeded like Tara�s deadpanned, �They can read each other�s minds and all had sex together last night.� Giles bypassed red and turned a shade of purple that Xander had never seen.
After the reading the older man had asked to talk to his three charges and told them that there personal lives were none of his business, but as the oldest and most parental figure that they all had, it was his duty to let them know that they had made a foolhardy mistake the size of which he never knew even they were capable of. He told them that people got hurt � good people who didn�t deserve it � because they couldn�t control their libidos. And that they were setting no kind of example for Dawn.
Buffy had been hurt the most by that comment, but Giles had refused to retract it. He even went as far to tell her that, while he had the utmost confidence that she had what it took to be a good guardian for her little sister, and that it was best for the both of them to be together, he would not hesitate to insist that Dawn stay with him or he move into the house with them to ensure the security of her home situation.
Willow had stayed focused on her hands. She hated that she had let Giles down. She had broken Tara�s heart and spirit. She had failed on every aspect of her life in a manner of a few weeks.
And Xander, listening vaguely to Dawn talking downstairs to Tara, who was doing amazingly well pretending like she wasn�t hurting at all; was first drawn into the conversation when he thought that Giles had directed that libido comment directly at him�and then again when it sounded like Giles didn�t trust them to take care of Dawn � like he didn�t trust Buffy. And for all that she had been through, his trust was only one of the things she had earned that should be unconditional. God, how Xander wanted to say that to the other man. He wanted to tell him that what Buffy did in her personal life was none of anybodies business and that she knew�they all knew�that mistakes had been made. Wasn�t it enough that they were all suffering for want to a few hours the night before? Didn�t he see the tears in Buffy�s eyes and Willow�s? Didn�t he see him trying to be strong for the both of them? Not his girls anymore though. Only Buffy was his girl, he had to give up Willow and let her deal on her own�with Tara. Buffy, his new one and only, shouldn�t have to fight in her own home, and he hated that he had nothing to say to stop that from being the case.
But instead, Xander had excused himself from the house. He told Buffy that she knew where to find him and left the room as soon as Giles took a breath in his lecture and went downstairs. Dawn smiled at him as soon as he passed the living room and he did his best to disguise what he was feeling � his heart breaking again when Tara swallowed and nodded to him.
It was a small comfort that Tara followed him outside and stopped him with a touch on his arm. �This doesn�t mean that I think you guys won�t be friends,� she told him, her voice belaying regret that even Xander doubted she knew she had. She might trust Willow again, but he doubted that he and Buffy would be so lucky. �I know you�ll probably be friends forever.� She sounded almost upset that she knew that that would be the case. �Just�� she didn�t know how to ask for what she was without being hurtful. �Just give us time.� All Xander could do was nod. Tara made his best friend happy, and he would never deny Willow that chance.
�We�re going to have to get used to the vocal conversation again, huh?� Buffy�s demeanor was still semi-light and reflective when she drew him back from his inner thoughts. Xander nodded beside her, �Shouldn�t be too hard, we did it for almost eight years,� she continued when he didn�t speak.
((And you *are* a talker)) He managed a joke that earned him a good natured retaliatory nudge, even though his actual thoughts were occurring so rapidly that he couldn�t discern a single one. Yet, all the same, he knew that if Buffy were to ask him her favorite question: �What are you thinking about?�, his answer would be the staple, �Nothing�. Only in a few minutes she would lose the ability to know that it was a lie. �This railing, in the first high school, was longer,� Xander said instead of responding to Buffy�s previous diatribe. �It went down to the side walk before.� He ran his hand that wasn�t around her shoulders over the steel bar. �Your mom,� he continued after a short pause and felt Buffy tune in further into his emotion at the mention of her mother�the same stomach clenching surge of grief that he assumed she would always feel when she remembered. She hid it well, usually. ��she pulled up and I was skateboarding from down there,� he pointed down the sidewalk. �I wasn�t really paying attention until I happened to look up�right here. Like eight years ago I just looked up, and there you were.�
Buffy tilted her head up to look at him when the tone of distinct awe at the memory washed over her and made her blush.
((�first time I saw you.)) �Been following you ever since,� he smiled, not weakly, but decidedly more forced to mask the emotion.
Buffy reached up and with the tips of her fingers smoothed over the beginning stages of the stubble on his chin. She guided his face around to hers and held his eyes, searching for the briefest moment before forward and pressing their lips together. Buffy straightened her back to push herself closer to hum while they moved languidly against each other with gently probing tongues. ((You don�t follow me)) Buffy whispered decisively. �You walk beside me.� She pulled back from the kiss but kept her hand on his cheek, massaging the skin there while Xander blushed beneath her gaze and tried to avert his eyes.
�Thank you,� he said just as quietly and sounded the tiniest bit unsure of his response. She met his nervousness with a bight smile. Even now, Xander still had some issues with accepting compliments, just as she did in giving them. They were working on it daily together.
�Now you say something nice about me,� she prompted teasingly to alleviate some of his unnecessary quiet tension. She wanted their last few moments of being completely together to be as relaxed as possible. Xander followed her lead and pursed his lips, making an obvious show of scanning her whole figure appraisingly. ((And nothing about my breasts)) she restricted him with narrowed eyes ((�or ass)).
Xander pouted and looked put out. �You�re not as short as you could be?� She scowled at his feeble attempt and bit his lip in mock concentration. �Ummm�your hands aren�t as cold now as they were in the beginning of this relationship?� She slit her eyes and reached for his cheek again, pushing it hard enough to turn his head away from her in a playful non-slap. ((What?!)) Xander was laughing as Buffy tried half-heartedly to escape his loose hold around her shoulders. ((It�s that or that you move your hips incredibly well for a white woman))
((Based on your one interracial date who ended up trying to sacrifice you to the First Evil?)) Buffy smirked superiorly. ((Which by the way just proves how single minded you can be))
Xander didn�t let her best him and nodded proudly. ((Hell yeah�and I�ve got years of Destiny�s Child, Mya, and Shakira videos under my belt))
Buffy dropped her hand to his thigh and ran it up until her fingers were ghosting past the crotch of his jeans. ((I bet you do)) she joked when Xander jerked and hissed out a breath at the comment. �You�re a jerk.� She spoke evenly, but smiled despite herself while chastely, and much to Xander�s disappointment, removed her hand from his leg.
�A jerk in luuuuvvvv�.� He faced her with an exaggerated French accent and pressed a sloppy kiss to his girlfriend�s cheek. He blew out with his lips sill pressed to her face and made a loud �zzrrrrbbrrrtt� sound that made her giggle. Before Buffy shoved him away Xander turned his face so that his mouth was on her ear � his demeanor was visibly more serious than it had been a second before and his warm breath made her shudder at his side. �You know that little whistling noise that you make when you�re sleep?� he whispered suddenly.
((No. I�m sleeping when I make it)) Buffy�s voice was equally low and breathy with a hint of anticipation.
�Well you do,� Xander nuzzled the shell of her ear with his nose. �It�s not a snore or anything, but more of a monotonous high pitched hum that you do when you sleep on your back�kept me up when we first started sleeping together. You wouldn�t stop until I turned you over�but even then it�s just a quieter version of it��
�I could get some of those nose thingies that��
�Now�� Xander cut her off, but still stuttered, pulling Buffy even closer to him and accepting her reassurance when she turned her head more into his own. ��now I can�t get to sleep without it.�
Buffy melted inside at the warm comfort of his voice. She knew that he loved her, but only Xander would ever think to state it in the random way that he just had. She turned, and due to their close proximity, pressed her forehead to his, both smiling a little goofily at each other. �I don�t mind that you go through my beverages and only leave a sip left in the carton.�
Xander chuckled lightly and his exhale fanned through the loose hair framing Buffy�s face. ((What am I thinking?)) He asked and shut his eyes against the bright orangey hue of the sky.
Buffy mirrored his blissful expression and shut her eyes. Neither cared that they must look so ridiculous to passersby � sitting on the stairs of a high school on a Sunday evening and holding each other. ((That you love me�you know that I love you�mmmm�something about blindfolds and�candle wax?)) She was silent for a moment while she concentrated on Xander completely. ((�and Ricky Martin?))
((NO!)) Xander tensed and denied vehemently. ((I was thinking about that video, *not* the guy in it!))
((Suurre)) she smiled even though he wasn�t watching her. ((And I�d like to see you try to make me shut my mouth)) she answered his pouted protest with a teasing voice without missing a beat.
((We can tape it for you later�once we get some candles�)) he leered suggestively, even in his mind. ((Right now, concentrate�)) Xander took a deep breath and dropped both of his hands to her lap, blindly grasping her hands and interlacing their fingers. ((Do you know how much you mean to me?))
Buffy nodded against his forehead and felt Xander using the last of his time to mine everything that she might be feeling � to feel her one last time as completely as possible.
((Do you know that I only want you?)) She nodded, but much more slowly. ((Only you Buffy.)) Xander assured her confidently. ((Even last night, all I could see was you)) He laughed slightly to himself. ((All Willow could see was you too))
Buffy smiled slightly and shook her head. ((She was totally into you. Always has been))
((And after this is over�)) �Just us,� Xander whispered. �I only see us.�
((So we pretend like it never happened?)) Buffy sounded like she honestly wished that it could happen that way, that she could forget and make the past disappear. ((For Dawn�s sake�))
((He�s not going to take�))
�I know,� she cut him off and traced her fingers over his cheek. �Giles just overreacted. I know he wouldn�t��
�I wouldn�t let him,� Xander said seriously. �Not because of one...�
�Mistake.� Buffy filled in for him. �A massive mistake.� He nodded. �That we can get past.�
�Cuz I love you,� he smiled crookedly at her.
�Cuz you love me,� Buffy answered in kind and kissed him lightly when he pouted.
((Ahem)) Xander pulled back from her and looked into her eyes expectantly. ((And you�))
�Forgot to tell Dawn to take out the trash?�
�Okay�� Xander shimmed closer to her on the steps and kissed her lower lip when it pouted out with her question, and she hummed against his mouth. �Anything else?�
�Am thinking Mexican for dinner.� Buffy denied him his answer again and ran her fingers up though his hair with an impish smile. Xander narrowed his eyes at her and moved to let her go, but Buffy used her superior strength to stop his withdraw. ((What am I thinking?))
�You�re thinking about Mexican,� Xander answered with pursed lips.
((What else?)) Buffy grinned and pressed her question. She settled into his arms again and shut her eyes. ((I�m thinking that�)) She trailed off and Xander couldn�t even begin to describe the warmth that he felt wash over him. He had been watching Buffy�s blissful expression, but his eyes slipped closed at what he felt from her�something that she couldn�t describe, but she simply felt � that she wanted him to feel with her, and it was the most intense thing anybody had ever given to him. Love. Love that couldn�t be ascribed actual words because there were none to encompass it all. He knew the feeling, but unlike Buffy, he always tried to tell her. He never even thought that she might feel the same thing�that she would understand with out him explaining it, but she did, and that made the warm feeling set his heart and mind on, an all consuming, fire.
((When this is all over)) Buffy�s mental interruption was even thick with emotion and she opened her eyes. She ran her fingers over the planes of his face again, over his eyebrow and down the side of his nose to the corner of his mouth. ((And I look at you like this)) She beckoned him to open his eyes to look at her and he complied slowly. ((Know that this is what I�m feeling. That I love you more than I can say.)) Xander nodded slowly and pushed closer to capture her lips in a kiss that he hoped showed half the emotion that she was giving him. She kissed him back, eyes closed, a deep wet caress while she pet his face and Xander closed his fingers lightly around the ends of her hair � just trying to hold on a little bit longer to her�to what was slipping away. ((And I know that you feel the same way�I got it from you first))
When they broke apart Xander was smiling though panting breaths, unable to open his eyes just yet for fear of seeing how fast the moment was fleeing. He cleared his throat and pushed himself up to stand in front of her, still holding her hand and tugging lightly for her to join him. �Did you�uh�talk to Tara or Wills?�
Buffy nodded and stood up on a step so that she was slightly taller than him. �Tara said the same thing she told you. Time.� Buffy averted her eyes briefly and swung their joint hands back and forth between them. �Wills said she was sleeping at the dorms tonight � packed a pretty big bag.� ((Might be for a few nights.)) Xander tried to smile, but ended up just biting his lip.
�Did she say when she�d��
Buffy shook her head before he could finish the question. �I think she�s going to try to hang out with Dawn tomorrow. Just us�she needs to not be��
�Yeah,� Xander nodded. �Is, uh�is Giles still there�for D-miester?�
�Yep.�
Xander nodded again and pulled Buffy�s hand until she was leaning against him, but still standing on her step. He wrapped his arms tight around her waist and pulled her up against him and she wrapped arms around his neck and her suspended legs over his thighs with a giggle of mock protest. ((Want me to tell you what you�re thinking now?))
Buffy looked to the orange-glowing sky and tried to look innocent. ((If you think you can get it.))
((Let�s see�)) Xander licked his lips and hoisted Buffy up against his body with a grunt. He wrapped her legs further up on his waist and locked his hands beneath her, taking two huge handfuls of her butt through her jeans and smiled at Buffy�s good natured scowl.
((Molester)) she teased him and Xander squeezed her ass more purposefully and made her arch her hips against the hardening in his pants.
�G-man took Dawn out for dinner�because we all know who didn�t cook.� Buffy pouted at him. �And we�re all thankful for that, believe me.�
((Put me down))
Xander held her tighter still and smiled. �And�he said earlier that he was going to stay until some of the dust settled�make sure there was no more link�so we�ve got some time.� Buffy nodded with raised eyebrows. �And a couple of places we could go�� He suddenly dropped her legs and took a quick step back, leaving Buffy standing on her own an arms length away.
He smirked and reached for the collar of his shirt and flipped it up to his mouth. �CRRRKK�Come in base. Suspect Buffy Summers is on the loose considered armed and dangerous.� Buffy grinned and started backing down the sidewalk with ominous smirk in place. �She�s making a break for it,� Xander spoke seriously into his collar, �I�m going in pursuit��
The Slayer turned on her heel and ran down the street to where Xander�s car was parked, hearing him behind her the whole way. �What�s that?!� Xander shouted behind her loud enough for her to hear. �Use force to subdue!?�
Buffy was laughing out loud when she let herself be caught at the passenger side of his car and he pushed her up against the door. �They said excessive force if necessary,� he whispered harshly just millimeters away from her lips � parted and panting in breaths of anticipation while she scanned his face. Xander knew she was turned on � she had stopped laughing � but he didn�t notice that that was his only indicator�that he couldn�t feel anything but his own personal arousal inside him. �I�m going to have to serve my city and place you under arrest.� He didn�t wait for a response as he held her pinned to the side of his car and dove into a hard kiss, forcing Buffy to respond with his alacrity and she did so willingly.
((Anything you say Officer Harris)) Buffy was panting hard through her nose and sucking on his tongue, but Xander never heard anything but a moan.

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The End
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Buffy & Xander: 2 Naughty, 2 Good