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Been Here Too Few Years	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 18659 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Dawn realized as
she got out of her car that she was parked next to Spike's DeSoto. She'd
recognize that car anywhere, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it meant Spike
was inside their apartment.
She still didn't understand
why didn't regularly drive the newer and flashier ones he'd bought when he
became all rich and famous and stuff, but apparently he had some inexplicable
attachment to that thing.
She made her way
inside and walked past Buffy's bedroom, finding the two of them cuddled in the
bed. They were both still clothed, so Dawn had a feeling there hadn't been a
lot of kinky business going on, but at least they looked like they were on the
right track.
Dawn couldn't stop
the wide grin that split her face at the sight of them. It was so obvious they
were meant to be, and she really hoped whatever had happened between them that
night had done some work in convincing them of it, too.
Still smiling, she
quietly shut the door and went down the hall to her own bedroom.

*** *** ***
Buffy woke up with
a sense of peace she hadn't felt in years. She stretched languidly, moving
closer to the body cuddled against hers.
Wait�body?
Her eyes popped open
and she sat straight up in bed before turning and seeing Spike sleeping beside
her. How the hell had that happened?
Determined to find
out, she poked him hard in the arm until his eyes snapped open as well.
"Buffy?" he asked sleepily.
"Yeah, What the hell are you doing in my bed?"
Spike frowned.
"I must've fallen asleep."
"I gathered
that part. Why were you in here in the first place?"
"Making a
mistake obviously," Spike snapped as he got up, trying to mask the hurt
her felt at her rejection. He'd known she'd be this way in the morning, and he
was angry with himself for getting into this situation in the first place.
Buffy moved
quickly to reach over the side of the bed and grab his arm. "Hey. Don't
get like that. It just really surprised me waking up with you here, but I'm not
upset about it."
Spike paused, his
head tilted slightly as he looked at her. "You're not?"
"No,"
Buffy replied, shaking her head. "But I haven't woken up next to someone
in three years, so it was a little wiggy. And I do want to know how you ended
up sleeping here."
Spike reached up
and scratched the back of his head. "I didn't really mean to. I carried
you in here after the movie, and I was just going to stick around until Dawn
came home, but I guess I fell asleep, too."
"In
the bed with me?"
"Can we not
analyze that?"
Buffy crossed her
arms over her chest and arched her eyebrow. "Spike, I have a degree in
psychology. I analyze everything."
"Except all
that stuff you go into denial about."
"Shut
up."
Spike sat down on
the edge of the bed with a sigh. "I don't know what's going on here,
Buffy. I really want to be angry with you. You hurt me, and I'm not exactly
what I'd call over that. But then I'm around you, or even just talking to you,
and it doesn't seem to matter as much. The one thing I know is that all it
takes is hearing your voice to make me the happiest I've been in three
years."
Buffy looked down
at her hands as they twisted the fabric of her sheet. Three years ago, she'd
made a choice based on what she'd thought was for the best, yet now, looking
back, she'd realized it hadn't been. Maybe she'd saved Spike's career by ending
things when she did. Maybe she hadn't. She never know
for certain, but in all honesty, she wasn't sure it had mattered.
She hadn't treated
their relationship as if it were something worth fighting
for, and that in itself had been her biggest mistake. Because
it had been something worth fighting for.
No. Not had been.
It was something worth fighting for.
She looked up,
determination set on her face. "I want you back, Spike. I know I screwed
up big time, but I still love you. I don't want to be friends, and I don't want
to dance around the issue anymore. I want you."
Spike said nothing
for a moment, his eyes wide as he stared at Buffy. He'd dreamt about those
words so many times, but now�
"I�I can't,"
he said as he backed up towards the door.
Buffy sat,
stunned, as Spike walked out of the bedroom. After last night, she'd been sure
things were moving back towards where she knew she still wanted them to be. How
could Spike be walking out on her like this? She knew he still loved her�
Tears filled her
eyes, and for a second, Buffy was all set to sit on her bed and cry.
Then, she heard
the door slam shut.
Spike was walking
out of her life. Again.
It was time to do
what she should've done three years ago.

*** *** ***
Dawn was sitting
at the table eating a bowl of cereal when Spike rushed out of the bedroom. She
started to say something to him, but before she could, he left the apartment.
Seconds later,
Buffy came running down the hall, moving faster than Dawn thought she'd ever
seen her go before, and followed Spike out.
With a shake of
her head, Dawn turned back to her breakfast.
She was stuck in a
family of crazy people.

*** *** ***
"Spike,
wait!"
Spike froze,
surprised to hear Buffy actually coming after him. Since when did she do that?
He turned around, doing his best to look impassive as he faced her.
"What?"
"Don't just
walk out on me, okay? Can't we talk about this?" she pleaded with him, not
caring that they were now standing out on the sidewalk.
"There's
nothing to talk about, Buffy. I can't just jump back into a relationship with
you, all right? I can't trust you
enough anymore for that."
"Then�then
no jumping. We can wade into a relationship. Or�or we don't even have to do that! We
can stick our toes in a relationship. Can you do that?"
Spike sighed. This
would be so much easier if she wasn't looking up at him with those big, green
eyes� "Buffy, I really don't know. You hurt me so much�"
"I know. And
you hurt me, too. But I think we can move past all of that if we give it a
chance. We've got something strong here, Spike. Three years apart couldn't kill
it, and honestly, I don't think anything can."
"Buffy, I� I can't, luv. I'm so bloody tired of
getting hurt all the time. I can't put myself through it again."
"Look, just
give me a chance to prove to you this isn't going to be like last time, okay?
Let's�let's date. We've never really done that before. At
least not in the whole living in two different places but meeting up in another
place to spend time together sort of way. Can we try that? Just take it
slow, give us both time to make it all work?"
Spike swallowed
hard. She made a very compelling argument. And what he wouldn't give to have
her back in his arms� "Fine. We date."
Buffy's dazzling
smile almost made Spike forget how much she'd hurt him. She was so beautiful
when she smiled�
"Great! Got
any plans for tonight?"
Spike shook his
head. "No."
"Then you'll
pick me up at eight."
"Um,
okay."
Somehow, her smile
managed to grow. "I'll see you tonight." She stood up on her toes and
kissed his cheek before turning around and walking back towards her apartment.
Spike blinked.
What exactly had just happened? He had a date with Buffy?
He had a date with Buffy.
A grin spread
across his face as he walked to his car.

*** *** ***
Dawn couldn't help
but notice the change in Buffy when she walked back into the apartment. Her
older sister had a dreamy expression on her face�a far cry from the panic that
had been there when she'd fled only a few minutes before.
She abandoned her
cereal and pushed away from the table to get to her feet. "Okay, Buffy,
tell me what's going on here."
Buffy's dreamy
smile was firmly in place as she announced, "I have a date with
Spike."
"Oh
my god!" Dawn screeched, unable to keep from bouncing. "Are you serious?"
"Yup,"
Buffy replied. "Tonight."
Dawn rushed over
to Buffy, took her by the hands, and pulled her over to the couch. "Spill. Everything. Now."
Buffy didn't have
to be asked twice. She was happy, and she wanted to gush about it to her
sister. "Okay, so Spike came over here last night because he said he felt
like he wanted a drink and needed to be around someone who would make sure he
didn't. We talked for a bit, then we watched a movie, and somehow I ended up
waking up next to him," she began.
"I saw you
two being all snuggly when I got home from work last night," Dawn
admitted. "I wondered what happened to bring that on."
"Honestly,
I'm not even completely sure. I fell asleep on the couch. But when we woke up,
I decided I was sick of trying to just move on. I don't want to move on. I want Spike. It's been three years, and I miss
him."
Dawn rolled her
eyes. "Duh. It's about freaking time you caught
up to that, Buffy, since it's been totally obvious to like, anyone with
eyes."
"Yeah, well,
there were�factors," Buffy said, her words sounding lame to even her own
ears.
"And now
what's happened to those 'factors?'" Dawn asked, complete with air quotes.
"I've decided
they don't matter so much anymore." Buffy cleared her throat.
"Dawnie, I never really told you why I broke up with Spike."
"You said it
was because of his drinking."
"Well, that
was sort of�not the whole truth," Buffy admitted.
"What? Buffy,
what happened?" Dawn asked, her eyes wide.
Buffy sighed. She
didn't really want to, but it was time for her to fess up. "Spike's
producer at the time came over and convinced me that our relationship was going
to kill Spike's career."
"That Quentin
jerk the band was smart enough to finally fire?" Dawn asked. "And how
did he do that?"
"Yeah,
him," Buffy replied. "He said the tabloids would turn the fact that
I'm technically Spike's step-sister into a media circus."
"That
asshole!" Dawn exclaimed. "You're not worried about that anymore, are you,
Buffy?"
"I am a
little," Buffy said. "I know if I'm going to be dating Spike, then
I'm probably going to have to deal with the media. But I can't take being away
from Spike anymore. I've felt like there was a part of me missing for the past
three years, and as soon as he was in my life again, I knew I couldn't go back
to living while I was so�empty."
"So absence
made your heart grow fonder?" Dawn asked.
"Something like that. All I know is I'm sick of trying to live without
him. I still love him."
"And he still
loves you, too," Dawn replied. "He kept trying to pretend he wasn't,
but it was friggin' obvious."
"I
know," Buffy said. "He's nervous about starting over again, but I think
we can make it work. I just have to convince him I won't make the same mistake
twice."
"That won't
take long," Dawn said with an eye roll. "He won't be able to keep his
hands off you."
Buffy
looked down, picking at a loose thread on her clothes. "I don't know,
Dawnie. I messed up pretty bad."
"Does he know
about what happened with Quentin?"
"Yeah, I told
him that," Buffy replied, glancing back up. "But I still hurt him.
It's probably going to take some time before he trusts me enough to give me his
heart again."
"Buffy, you
already have his heart�and he knows
it."
"I don't know
if�"
Dawn cut her
sister off with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Pfft.
If he's agreeing to go out with you, you've already got him back."
"You really
think so?" Buffy asked, a hopeful gleam in her
eye.
"I know so.
He's just a fish still gasping for breath even though he's already on the
hook." Dawn said. She leaned over and nudged Buffy's shoulder. "I betcha good money you won't be sleeping here tonight."
Buffy couldn't
help but blush. "Dawnie!"
"Come on,
Buffy, you know that's what you want." Dawn jumped up from the couch.
"Ooh! We need to go shopping!"
"Shopping?"
Buffy asked, her brow crinkling.
"Yep. We need to find something
for you to wear tonight that'll make Spike totally lose it."
"I don't
know. Tonight is supposed to be about rebuilding trust. I'm not sure he's going
to be wanting sex yet."
Dawn put her hands
on her hips. "Uh, Buffy� We're talking about Spike."
"Oh. Right." Buffy stood up. "I'll go get ready."
Dawn just shook
her head as she watched Buffy go down the hall to her room.

*** *** ***
Starting next
week, this story will no longer be posted on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I've
gotten a good bit done on it and want to move it along, so it will now be
posted on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Please review! I
want to know what you think of this latest development.
- 56
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Been Here Too Few Years