Been Here Too Few Years | By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 18659 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
The last thing
Buffy wanted to do was have a conversation with Eve. All it could do was add to
the mess that was her emotions, and that wasn't something she needed. Still,
the surprise of the situation also made her curiosity strong, and she opened
the door.
"Hello, Eve.
I certainly didn't expect you to drop by," Buffy said with a smile she
knew the other woman would never mistake for genuine.
"Well, I
certainly won't be here for long," Eve replied as she took off her
oversized sunglasses and pushed into Buffy's apartment. "This is going to
be a brief chat."
Buffy raised an
eyebrow, her arms crossed in front of her. "Then cut to the chase."
"I'm not an
idiot," Eve said, her eyes set squarely on Buffy. "I know there's
something going on between you and Spike. But it's stopping right now."
"Eve, if you
came all the way over here to stop some affair you think I'm having with Spike,
then you've really wasted your time," Buffy replied.
"Funny, I
don't think so," Eve said. "I don't think this is a waste of my time
at all, because I think you've found some way to work yourself back into his
life. It would be pretty sweet, wouldn't it, giving up your sad little job as a
school shrink to play with a rock star."
Buffy scoffed.
"You are so off base."
Eve smiled almost
cruelly. "Listen, sweetie. Spike is with me. I have too much riding on
this to let Spike run off with someone like you. So just turn off the charm or
whatever it is you're doing to get his attention and realize I'm never going to
let you win."
"Win? I'm not playing a game."
"It's all a game, sweetie," Eve replied.
"Maybe you don't get it with your sad, normal little life, but when you're
playing in the big leagues, you see what's important. It's all about image,
about who sees what and what they say about it. You're just some nobody no one
even knows, but me? I'm America's Sweetheart, Buffy. I'm
the woman every other woman wants to be and who all the men want to be with.
Lindsey tried to ruin that for me, but I didn't let him—and I'll be damned
before I let you take any of it away
from me."
"So you're a
big movie star. So what? What does Spike have to do with any of that?"
Buffy asked.
"You still
don't get it, princess. How bad can I be if I can turn a rock star away from
his life of debauchery?"
Buffy's jaw fell
and she stared at Eve for a moment before asking, "Is that all you're
doing? Is that all Spike is to you—a publicity stunt?"
"No,"
Eve replied quickly, seeming nervous for a moment before she regained her
composure. "But this world we live in, it's all spin and image,
sweetie—and I'm never going to allow myself to lose what I've worked for. So
just consider yourself warned. If you don't stay away from Spike, you will
regret it. Everything clear?"
Buffy's eyes
narrowed to angry green slits. "Get out of my home."
"Don't be an
idiot, Buffy. As low as your life is now, it could always get lower."
"I said get
out."
Eve replaced her
sunglasses back over her eyes. "He won't be yours again," she said
before turning and walking out of the apartment.
Buffy slammed the
door behind her and locked it. She began to pace her living room, her whole
body trembling. How dare Eve come
there and say those things?
She stopped
abruptly, her eyes on the phone. If she did what she was thinking of now, would
it just be because of jealousy? Was she trying to sabotage Spike's relationship
because she didn't like Eve? What if they really were happy,
and Eve had done that only because she had felt threatened? Buffy could
understand that…
But Spike was her
friend, wasn't he? Or at least someone she cared deeply for. It wasn't selfish
to tell him what she'd just heard, was it? Didn't he have a right to know?
Buffy picked up
the phone, gripping it tightly in her hand as she tried to decide what she
should do.
With a deep
breath, she made up her mind. Even if he didn't want to hear it, Spike needed
to know what kind of woman he was truly involved with.
Every ring made
Buffy a little more nervous. She still wasn't completely sure she should be
doing this, and had just about come to the conclusion she should just hang up
when the ringing stopped.
"Hello?"
The sound of
Spike's voice sent her into a panic. What was she going to say to him? Hi, I think your girlfriend's using you as a
publicity stunt? Was there any way to really work that into a conversation?
"Is anyone
there?"
He'd answered the
phone, and now she had to either respond or hang up like a high school girl who
was too nervous to actually talk to her crush, but just wanted to hear his
voice.
She took a deep
breath, let it out, and spoke. "Hey, Spike. It's Buffy."
"Buffy?"
Spike paused for a moment, then asked, "Are you
all right, luv? You sound upset."
Buffy moved to the
couch and sat down, her legs feeling wobbly. "I'm… Eve was just over
here."
"What?! That…
Buffy, I'm sorry she did that. I can't believe she'd… What did she say to you
to get you so upset, sweetheart?"
"That's why I
called," Buffy replied. "This may not be my place, I don't know, but
she said some things I thought you should be aware of."
"What did she
say, Buffy?" Spike asked, his tone even and
serious.
"She said
some things that made it sound like maybe your relationship was, well, mainly
PR for her." Buffy grimaced. She didn't like this at all.
Spike was silent
for several moments before he gave a response. "What exactly did she say?"
Buffy's words came
out in a rush. "I can't really remember word for word, the whole thing
happened so fast and it had me on edge, but she said she was 'America's
Sweetheart,' and that she'd almost lost that after her divorce, but she'd got
it back by cleaning up a rock star. I asked her point blank if you were a
publicity stunt, and she told me no, but then she said everything was all spin
and image, and she wasn't going to lose what she worked for. She was warning me
to stay away from you, but she seemed more worried about tarnishing her image
than actually losing you."
Again, Spike was
silent, though Buffy could hear him breathing on the other end of the line and
knew he was still there. Dread curled in her stomach, and she worried that she
might have ruined whatever sort of friendship she and Spike had been reforming.
What if he felt she had overstepped
her bounds and was trying to manipulate him out of his relationship? Or what if
he knew Eve was using their publicity to help her career and he didn't care?
"I need to
go," Spike said suddenly, breaking Buffy out of her worried thoughts.
"I'll talk to you later."
"Are you
upset with me?"
"No. I just
need to go."
Before Buffy could
ask anything else, the line was dead, and she felt her worry grow. Spike said
he wasn't upset, but he'd hung up so abruptly, without saying much of anything,
so what was she supposed to think?
Buffy turned off
her phone as she began to seriously question whether or not she'd just done the
right thing.
*** *** ***
Spike stared at
his phone, now on the coffee table in front of him, as he tried to sift through
what he was feeling. His first reaction to what Buffy had told him had been
shock, mixed with more than a little bit of denial.
Eve wouldn't use
him, would she? She couldn't do that to him…
Only the more he
thought about it, the more Spike began to think maybe she could. It made an
uncomfortable sort of sense when he thought over their relationship.
And then the shock
and doubt became anger.
He drove straight
to Eve's house, the security guard at the front gate letting him in without
question. He went inside, ignoring the looks he got from the servants as he
bounded up the stairs, bellowing Eve's name.
A few moments
later, Eve stepped out into the hallway, making Spike come to an abrupt stop. "Spike? Sweetheart, what are doing here?"
Spike shook his
head, his jaw ticking. "Don't play dumb with me. We both know why I'm
here."
Still, Eve feigned
innocence. "I don't…"
"Then let me
refresh your memory. You had a little chat with Buffy this afternoon, told her
to stay away from me so nothing would happen to your precious little career.
Ringing any bells?"
Eve gasped.
"What? Spike, if she told you that, then she's either
trying to manipulate you or she's delusional."
Spike advanced on
Eve, making her take a step back, her eyes widening. "No more games,"
he said. "No more playing me. I want you to tell me right here, right now,
if you used me to get your career back on track after your divorce."
"Spike, I
wouldn't…"
"I said, no
more games, Eve, and I bloody meant it. So drop your innocent act. It's
insulting to both of us."
Immediately, Eve's
expression changed, grew harder. "Everyone uses
each other, Spike. It's the way of the world."
"No. Not
everyone," Spike replied.
"Yes, they
do! What, can you honestly stand there and tell me you didn't use this
relationship, too? You were having all sorts of problems with your image, and
then we got together, and suddenly you're one half of the hottest couple
around!"
"I never
cared about that!" Spike insisted. "I never once cared about my
image. People either liked me, or they didn't, but I wasn't going to try to
manipulate them one way or another through who I was dating."
Eve scoffed.
"Oh come on. You can't honestly be that naïve, William."
"No, not
anymore," Spike said as he turned around and began to walk off.
Eve ran after him,
grabbing his arm and pulling him back to stop him. "Where are you
going?"
Spike turned and
met her eyes. "Where does it look like I'm going? I'm leaving you. It was
bad enough, what you said to me the other night, but this…"
"No,"
Eve said, shaking her head. "You can't do that."
Spike wrenched his
arm away from her. "Watch me."
He walked down the
stairs and out of Eve's house, never once looking back.
*** *** ***
Buffy almost
called Spike back more than once, but stopped herself every time. If she'd
already upset him with her first call, then a second one wouldn't help matters.
Still, the more
time that went by, the more she worried. She thought Dawn might have been able
to calm her down, convince her Spike had just needed time to think after what
she'd told him about Eve or something like that, but Dawn wasn't home, which
left Buffy on her own to worry.
After not having
Spike in her life for three years, the thought of losing him again—even if all
they shared now was phone calls—terrified her. She didn't want Spike gone from her life, not now and really, not ever. She'd
missed him, and knowing he wasn't so far removed from her anymore made her
happier than she'd been in a long time.
Buffy was tired of
trying to tell herself they were better off if they didn't have any contact at
all. The rift between them had hurt her family, had hurt her, and had
definitely hurt Spike. And now, she couldn't even try to tell herself he was
better off with Eve, since clearly, Eve didn't love Spike the way Buffy knew he
deserved to be loved.
So where did that
all leave her? She knew for certain she wanted Spike back in her life—the panic
she was feeling now at the thought of not
having him made that abundantly clear. But what she didn't know was in what
capacity she wanted him there. She couldn't say she didn't still love him or
that she didn't still want him, but she didn't know if that meant anything
anymore. She'd hurt Spike to the point where he may not ever be able to trust
her again. And even if he could, was there anything left for them to go back to
anymore?
Was it possible to
pick up the pieces again three years after a relationship had shattered?
Buffy jumped at
the sound of a sharp knock at the door, then felt a
wave of dread. What if Eve had come back? She was so not in the mood to deal
with that woman—not then, and truly, not ever again.
However, when she
looked out the peephole, she saw it wasn't Eve—it was Spike. Her heart did a
flip as elation warred with worry. She hadn't seen him face to face since his
father's party, and his presence now came as a shock. What if he was here
because he wanted to yell at her in person for trying to drive a wedge between
him and Eve and was about to tell her he wanted her back out of his life?
Buffy breathed in
deeply. She'd never get her answer if she didn't open the door.
And then get her
answer, she did. Without a word, Spike stepped into the apartment and grabbed
her, kissing her hard enough to make her head spin. After three years away from
him, Buffy felt starved for his touch, and she wrapped her arms around him,
reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair as Spike deepened the kiss, his tongue
coming out to meet hers.
Buffy melted in
his arms, giving into the feeling of kissing him again.
*** *** ***
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