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Echoes of Faith	By : hfreak Category: BtVS Crossovers > Misc - FemmeSlash - Female/Female Views: 2843 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I own no part of the BtVS or Dollhouse fandoms and I make no money from this fan fiction.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
Fandom: BtVS/Dollhouse

Title: Echoes of Faith

Chapter 5: Faithful Echo

Characters/Pairing: Buffy/�Faith�,
Echo

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Mild angst. Incidental nudity.

Summary: Echo tries to sort things
out.

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Sierra: I try to
be my best.

Echo: Are you?

Sierra: Excuse
me?

Echo: Are you
your best?

Sierra: I�m not
sure how to know that.

Echo: I think, if
you always try, that�s best.

-from Dollhouse
S01E04: Gray Hour-

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�� Echo
blinked slowly as she awoke. The first thing she noticed was that this
definitely wasn�t her pod. This was a large and especially squishy bed that
made her feel almost like she was sinking. It seemed like most of the people
Echo visited had beds like this; Echo thought she probably preferred the pods.
The room was very dark and someone nearby was breathing strangely. Sierra used
to make those type of breathing sounds when she cried.
A soft, white light filled the room through the glass in the walls and Echo�s
eyes began to adjust as she blinked a few more times.

�� The
strange, shallow breaths continued and Echo tried to remember what they were
called. She thought they might be called sods, but she also thought that was
probably wrong. Then she remembered that sods was what
Martin had called his friends. Paul liked to ask questions about Martin. The
blonde girl had asked about Paul. The blonde girl was sobbing. Sobs! That was
it.

�� Echo
sat up to get a better view of the room. It became apparent that the blonde
girl had turned on a lamp as Echo noticed the dim yellow light that covered
part of the room. The blonde girl was sitting at the edge of the bed with her
back to Echo. She had a very pretty back. Realizing that they were both naked,
Echo suddenly started to remember some of the things that they had done together.
Topher had made her gray again. No, that wasn�t
right; she was having trouble with words today. Gay. Topher
had made her gay. Topher made lots of people gay.

�� She
watched the blonde girl and tried to remember her name. And then she tried to
remember her own name; who had they made her this time? Sometimes it made her
head hurt when she tried to remember things. Faith.
Why had Faith gone away? Usually that only happened in the chair. Echo thought
she would probably need to get Faith back before her next treatment. Where was
she hiding? There was something different about this imprint.

�� The
blonde girl continued to quietly sob and no matter how hard she tried to
remember her name, all Echo could come up with was the letter �B�. That
couldn�t be right, could it? Echo felt sad for B; people didn�t usually sob
after her engagements.

�� Are
you sad?� Echo asked her.

�� B�s
shoulders jumped and she turned around to face Echo with curiosity in her
tearstained face. She looked confused. Echo thought maybe it was because of her
voice; Faith had spoken differently.

�� Faith,
I�m sorry,� B mumbled, wiping her eyes with her hands, �I didn�t mean to wake
you.�

�� I
don�t mind,� Echo assured her.

�� Are
you � feeling okay,� asked B, looking a little bit confused again.

�� Echo
was unsure of what to do. B would probably realize that she wasn�t Faith sooner
or later. Should she go ahead and tell her? Would she get in trouble for not
being Faith?

�� I�m
fine,� Echo began hesitantly, �but I�m not Faith anymore.�

�� Oh!�
B�s eyebrows went really high on her forehead. �I didn�t � does that � is that
normal?�

�� Echo
tilted her head thoughtfully.

�� I
don�t understand,� she replied.

�� I
mean, do you usually change back?� B prompted. �Am I supposed to � call your
handler or something?�

�� Please
don�t,� Echo requested. �They won�t like it if I�m not Faith.�

�� Okay,
so it�s not normal then,� B reasoned. �But maybe they can help you.�

�� They
don�t want to help me,� said Echo sadly. �I can get Faith back,� she insisted,
�just give me a little time. You wouldn�t like Adelle when she�s angry.�

�� Good
point,� B agreed, �I wouldn�t want her to think it�s my fault.� Her eyes got
big again. �It�s not my fault, is it?�

�� I
don�t think so,� Echo responded thoughtfully.

�� Okay.
Good,� said B. �I guess I�ll just � let you do your thing then.�

�� She�ll
come out when she�s ready,� said Echo, �I�d like to talk to you, B.�

�� Oh,
not you too,� B sounded unhappy.

�� I�m
sorry,� said Echo quickly, �B is all I can remember.�

�� I�m
not surprised,� answered the blonde with a roll of her eyes. �She � uh � Faith
likes to call me �B� a lot. My name�s actually Buffy.�

�� Oh,�
said Echo shortly. �But if you don�t like it then why did you ask them to make
me like that?�

�� Well �
Faith is someone I know,� Buffy explained, �and I needed you to be her.�

�� Is she
dead?� asked Echo somewhat bluntly, thinking of how Joel had liked to visit
with Rebecca. If Faith were dead, that might also explain the crying.

�� No,
she�s not,� Buffy answered. �Do you guys get that a lot or something?�

�� Just
Rebecca and Margaret, I think,� said Echo, �is that a lot?�

�� Eh,�
said Buffy with a shrug, �I see more dead people than that in a week, most of
the time.�

�� You
do?� Echo questioned in curiosity.

�� Long
story,� Buffy told her.

�� But
Faith�s not dead?� Echo verified.

�� Right.�

�� Then
why did you need me to be her?� asked Echo, always eager to learn.

�� I��
Buffy opened and shut her mouth a few times. �Because Faith �
doesn�t feel the same way about me that I feel about her.�

�� Is
that why you�re sad?�

�� Yeah,�
said Buffy softly. �Yeah, that�s why I�m sad.�

�� People
are usually happier after they�ve been with me,� Echo reflected.

�� It�s
not your fault,� said Buffy kindly. �I mean, what we did was � nice.�

�� It was
nice for me too,� Echo assured her. �You�re very good at sex.� It had been very
enjoyable and Echo knew that clients liked to hear this. She hoped it would
cheer Buffy up some.

�� Uh �
thanks,� said Buffy as her cheeks turned a light pink color.

�� Echo
watched her expectantly for a moment.

�� Doesn�t
that make you happy?� she asked.

�� Oh,
yeah,� said Buffy quickly, �I mean, I�m glad I was good at it.�

�� I like
to make people happy,� stated Echo.

�� Picking
up on that,� said Buffy.

�� You
don�t seem very happy,� Echo observed. �Is there anything I can do?�

�� It�s
not your job to make me happy,� Buffy told her kindly.

�� Isn�t
it?�

�� I �
okay, got me there,� Buffy admitted. �You did everything you were supposed to
do.�

�� But
you�re still not happy.�

�� And
that�s not your fault, okay?� said Buffy with a sigh. �I�m sad because Faith
doesn�t�� she swallowed slowly and her eyes got teary again.

�� Because Faith doesn�t want to have sex with you?� Echo
guessed.

�� Not
that,� said Buffy. �Well, not just
that,� she corrected. �I � really care about Faith. And being with you helped
me realize that I�m in love with her. And she doesn�t love me. That�s why I�m
sad. Do you know what it�s like to love someone who doesn�t love you back?�

�� I
don�t think so,� said Echo thoughtfully. Some of Echo�s imprints had been in love,
but they were always loved back.

�� Well,
it�s not fun,� said Buffy sadly.

�� How do
you know Faith doesn�t love you?� Echo questioned.

�� I��
Buffy thought for a moment. �No one really knows
that,� she reasoned, �but I�ve spent a lot of time with her and I don�t think
she feels the same way.�

�� I think
she does,� said Echo simply. �When I was her, I loved you.�

�� That�s
because I asked them to make you that way.�

�� I
don�t think they had to do very much,� Echo countered. �I can see the gaps when
things aren�t filled in. I think Faith really has those feelings inside of
her.�

�� No,�
said Buffy firmly. �Don�t do this. Don�t � give me false hope.�

�� False
hope?� asked Echo blankly.

�� I
can�t keep hoping for things that aren�t going to happen,� Buffy insisted.
�This whole thing was supposed to be about putting Faith behind me.�

�� But
why would you do that if she can make you happy?� Echo didn�t understand why
Buffy was so determined to be sad.

�� She
doesn�t love me!� Buffy snapped. �You think you know because you had my � my
twisted fantasy version of her in your head, but you don�t.�

�� Maybe
I don�t,� Echo admitted, �but you said that you don�t either. Why wouldn�t you
want to know for sure?�

�� If I
thought she was interested, I wouldn�t have even come here.�

�� But
what does she think?� said Echo
plainly. �The only way to find out is to ask her.�

�� I
can�t,� Buffy denied flatly.

�� Why not?�

�� I
can�t risk everything we � things are always so � it would only make things
worse,� she finished sadly.

�� I
don�t understand,� said Echo. �What could be worse than thinking she doesn�t
love you?�

�� Knowing
it,� Buffy whispered.

�� I
think knowing is better than not knowing,� said Echo sagely. �Not knowing is
making you feel worse.�

�� I just
want to move on,� Buffy sighed. �There�s no need to rock the boat.�

�� She
has a boat?�

�� Metaphor,�
Buffy explained. �Sorry, I guess that was a bit over your head. It just means I
don�t want to make things difficult between us. If she doesn�t love me back
then we wouldn�t be able to be friends either. And I really want to keep her as
a friend, even if there can�t be anything else between us.�

�� Why
wouldn�t you be able to be friends?� Echo questioned, still unclear on what
Buffy was afraid of.

�� Because
� love makes things really complicated,� said Buffy. �Once love becomes part of
the equation, people can�t be just friends anymore.�

�� But why?�

�� That�s
just how it works,� said Buffy gently. �Love and friendship just don�t mesh.�

�� I
think they do mesh,� Echo argued. �If �mesh� means what I think it means.
Friendship is a kind of love, isn�t it? I think if Faith is really your friend
then you can still have friend-love even if she doesn�t want sex-love.�

�� It
sounds nice, but it doesn�t really work like that.�

�� But it
should,� Echo protested. �It doesn�t make sense that people spend so much time
stopping themselves from being happy. Don�t you think you would be happier if
Faith knew how you feel?�

�� I��
Buffy looked confused again.

�� It
seems like you just want to be sad,� Echo observed.

�� It�s
not like that,� Buffy assured her. �It�s just � really scary when you don�t
know.�

�� Isn�t that
why you should talk to her?� Echo pointed out. �I don�t think things will be as
bad as you think they will. When you�re afraid, things usually seem worse than
they really are.�

�� Maybe
that�s true,� said Buffy, �but I have good reasons for my fear. Faith and I
have a lot of history.�

�� I
know.�

�� You
do?�

�� Yes,�
said Echo thoughtfully as she felt Faith stirring in the back of her thoughts.

�� You
okay?� asked Buffy.

�� She�s
coming back.�

�� Faith?� Buffy questioned.

�� I can
feel her.� Echo paused in thought. �Oh, B,� she reflected sadly as she began
seeing flashes of Buffy�s life through Faith�s eyes. �So
lonely. Everybody�s looking to me,
trusting me to lead them, and I�ve never felt so alone in my entire life. And
that�s you every day, isn�t it?�

�� Faith,�
said Buffy again.

�� You
should let yourself be happy, Buffy,� Echo persisted, holding up a hand to
Buffy�s cheek. �I wish I could have helped you.�

�� I��
Buffy swallowed again, fighting another onslaught of tears.

�� You
don�t have to be afraid,� said Echo reassuringly. �Even if she doesn�t love
you, I know she doesn�t want to hurt you anymore. Just tell me how to make it better. She�s so sorry.�

�� Echo
felt her own thoughts fading into the background as she made room for Faith.

�� Hey,
B,� she said slowly. �What�s the matter?� she asked with concern, seeing the
tears welling in Buffy�s eyes.

�� I��
Buffy blinked once and the tears spilled over, racing each other down her
cheeks. �I think it�s time for your treatment.�

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�� Buffy
sat again at the foot of the bed; she was fully clothed now and still fighting
a steady stream of tears. The doll had lost nearly all sense of focus at the
mention of a treatment. She had dressed quickly, pausing to complain about the
ripped underwear. Only once had she stopped, apparently unsettled by the gloom
in Buffy�s face, and she had assurances that she would return right after her
treatment. Buffy had dressed as well and escorted the doll to a black van,
parked only a block away from the hotel. It was afterwards that Buffy had
returned to her room and lost control of the tears. Now she was alone and there
was no post-coital �Faith�, no sleeping �Faith�, no dressing �Faith�, and no
doll from which to hide the full extent of her emotions.

�� It was
the confusion, most of all that made Buffy cry so hard. There was no real way
to know if the doll had been right or if the �Faith� imprint had simply been
very well-grafted into Faith�s persona. Buffy repeatedly told herself that if
there was any chance that Faith would truly return her feelings, it would be
worth the risks. A part of her didn�t want things to be awkward between her and
Faith; another part of her was afraid that Faith, instead of being awkward,
would find the whole thing amusing. Buffy hated the uncertainty; the constant
doubts and fears were debilitating in ways she was not accustomed to. More than
anything, she just wished her thoughts would stop.

�� There
was only one thing to be done.

�� She
pulled her cell phone from her pocket and flipped it open. Ignoring the two
missed calls, she began to dial. Waiting through several rings, Buffy began
drying her eyes on her sleeve.

�� Yes, hello,� Buffy greeted thankfully when someone finally
answered. �I was hoping to book a flight. How soon can you get me to
Cleveland?�

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:::END:::
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Echoes of Faith