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Love and Death Embrace	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Buffy wasn�t sure how she managed to make it back home. She�d never
been in such excruciating pain, and the need for blood was pressing. Several
times she�d fallen, and it had taken all of her strength to get back up again.

The one thing that kept her going was knowing
when she got to Angelus, he�d take care of her. He�d give her blood, help her
heal. Surely he�d put his campaign to take over Los Angeles on the back burner when
he saw how badly she needed him now.

She let out a sigh of relief as she came through the front door, and
collapsed into a heap. The minions standing guard started shouting, and she
drifted in and out of consciousness as a flurry of activity went on around her.

She opened her eyes at the sound of Angelus�s
voice, and she tried to pull herself up off the floor, moaning at the pain. He
stormed over to her, grabbing her up by her arm and to her feet. �Where have
you been?� he snapped.

Buffy winced, his grip making the burns on her arms hurt worse.
�There�there was a man. Some sort of demon hunter. He�he was looking for you,
and he found me. He tried�he tried to make me tell him
where you were.�

�Did you tell him?� Angelus demanded, shaking her.

Buffy cried out from the pain. �No, of course not!
Let me go, please. You�re�you�re hurting me.�

�Do you think I care about that right now, you stupid bitch?� Angelus asked, his face hard with anger. Then, he let her go
suddenly, and Buffy slumped back to the ground. �Although
really, I don�t even want to touch you. You look disgusting.�

�Angelus?� Buffy asked, her
voice full of confusion and hurt. �Why�why are you saying these things?�

�Why am I saying these things? Because you deserve
what happened to you, you worthless slut. I told you not to leave, and
you did. Not only that, but you ran off with a minion. I had to stake him and
every other minion that saw you leave and didn�t do anything! Now I�m going to
have to go get more minions, and that�s just going to set back my timetable.�

�I don�t care about your timetable!� Buffy screamed, finding herself at
her breaking point. �I just wanted you to pay attention to me!�

�You spoiled little fucking brat,� Angelus snarled. �You know,
sometimes, I don�t even know why I bothered to keep you around as long as I
did. You aren�t that good in bed.�

His words taking her by complete surprise, Buffy reared back. �What?�

�It�s time I do what I should�ve done a long time ago. All you�ve ever done
is nag me, whine at me. You�re so needy, Buffy. Just a
demanding little child who doesn�t even have a good enough cunt to make it all
worth it.�

Buffy felt herself slipping into shock, unable to believe this was
actually happening. He was supposed to love her, want to take care of her. He�d
told her that�s why he�d turned her, because he wanted to keep her with him.
Because he knew the moment he saw her that she was someone special, someone
meant for him.

Their love was
supposed to last forever�

�Angelus, please, help me,� Buffy begged, unable to stop herself
from crying again. �I�m sorry. I�I didn�t mean to cause all this trouble. I
made a mistake, and I�m sorry, but I love you��

Angelus sneered down at her. �God, would you listen to yourself? You�re
pathetic. Weak. A miserable
excuse for a vampire.� He shook his head. �It makes me sick just to look
at you.�

Buffy cringed, his words cutting into her. He was right� She
felt pathetic and weak. She�d allowed a human to overpower and torture her, and
she couldn�t stop herself from sobbing like a child. �I�m sorry,� she said, her
words barely louder than a whisper.

�Yeah, you know what? I don�t care if you�re sorry. I don�t care about
you at all, bitch.�

Shaking, Buffy managed to pull herself up, grabbing Angelus�s
hand in a desperate attempt to make this stop. She couldn�t take this. After
all she�d been through today, she couldn�t lose him,
too� �Please. I�ll make it up to you. Just don�t� Please don�t tell me you
don�t love me anymore. Please��

�I don�t love you,� he replied coldly. �Fuck, Buffy, I�m a vampire, not
some simpering fool. Sure, you were fun for a while, but come on. Did you
really think you�d keep me satisfied forever? Especially since you never seemed
to get past the irritating little mallrat stage you were in when I found you. I
mean, geez, Buff, if I have to sit through another
John Hughes movie, I may have to throw myself on a stake.�

�I�I can try to be better,� Buffy pleaded with him weakly. �I will be
better.�

�Sorry, baby, I�ve already got better,� Angelus replied with a smirk.
He pushed her off of him, sending her toppling to the floor. �Would someone
please take the garbage out? I�ve got a real woman to attend to.�

It was then that Buffy noticed the unfamiliar scent on him, and she
wondered how she hadn�t to begin with, the cloying, overpowering odor of
another female on her sire suddenly all she could smell at all. She screamed Angelus�s name as he walked away, but he didn�t turn
around, didn�t acknowledge he�d heard her at all. Two of the minions approached
her, grabbing her off the floor by both arms, and Buffy screamed louder,
struggling as they dragged her from the building.

Unceremoniously, they tossed her outside and locked the door behind
them.

Buffy panted as she lay in the grass, a feeling of hopelessness washing
over her. She wanted to wake up, wanted this all to be nothing more than a bad
dream. Never had she imagined Angelus would do what he�d just did. She knew they�d had rough patches over the years, even
times when they�d temporarily gone their separate ways, but she�d always known
in her heart that he loved her.

Tonight he proved he didn�t. She was in her darkest hour, and he�d
turned her away. He�d called her garbage�

She�d withstood torture to protect him, and he�d called her garbage.

Her heart hadn�t beaten in over two decades, but that didn�t make it
incapable of breaking. He�d dismissed her in her darkest hour and gone to
someone else. The thought of her sire in bed with another woman now, after he�d
turned her away� She couldn�t take it. She�d accepted early on that she�d never
be the only woman in his bed, but she�d never thought she�d be thrown from it
completely. She�d simply believed him when he�d told her vampires didn�t
believe in monogamy and that she shouldn�t take things personally � even when
he often flew into a rage if he caught her with someone else.

For twenty-five years, her existence had centered on Angelus. Even in
the brief times they�d spent apart, she�d still known in her heart they�d end
up together again. He�d been the one constant in her life, her source of
strength that had kept her together in the difficult beginning, right after her
turning, when suddenly everything she�d known and loved in her life was gone.

He was her world, her life, her everything � and he�d thrown her out
like garbage.

Every piece of her hurt, inside and out. She wanted to stay right where
she was and just wait for the sun. Burning up couldn�t possibly hurt more than
continuing on like this�

But she couldn�t do that. Angelus had called her weak, but Buffy knew
she wasn�t. She wouldn�t have gotten even this far if she wasn�t strong, if she
wasn�t a survivor.

She wiped roughly at her tears, cursing herself for shedding them at
all. Angelus may think she was pathetic and worthless, but she�d show him
otherwise. She�d make him see how strong she could be.

She�d make him regret what he�d done to her.

Her features set in grim determination, Buffy pulled herself back to
her feet.

*** *** ***

Spike didn�t remember ever feeling this frustrated before. He was so
close to finally reaching Angelus, and yet he felt farther away than he�d ever
been before. Almost everyone he talked to had heard of Angelus, yet
apparently no one had actually seen him since he�d come to Los Angeles. It appeared that he�d
been staying behind the scenes, planning something big while his minions took
care of most of the dirty work.

Which meant Spike�s best chance of finding the vampire was most likely
getting a minion to talk � and at the moment, the thought of what that might
entail made bile rise to his throat.

He knew he should�ve killed her. He�d just signed the death warrants of
countless people by letting a vampire go. It didn�t matter that she had such an
innocent-looking face. Beneath the surface was nothing more than a killer, a
demon.

Yet somehow, a flicker of the compassionate man he�d once been had
found its way back to the surface, and he�d been unable to do what he�d done
hundreds of times in the decades since his wife�s death � rid the world of a
vampire.

And now, his heart didn�t feel in the hunt at all. He was in the same
town as Drusilla�s killer, and he knew that meant he should be more active than
ever in his search, yet all he wanted to do was sleep. He was so tired�

Spike stood outside of a dive bar he�d heard was frequented by some of Angelus�s minions, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth.
He knew what he needed to do. He needed to go in there, shake the place down,
and find what he wanted to know.

Instead, however, he found himself stubbing his cigarette out beneath
his boot, turning around, and heading back to his current apartment. He�d get
some rest, start fresh tomorrow, and hopefully be back to his normal self, the
events of the past couple days no longer weighing so heavily on his mind.

That illusion shattered when he walked into the apartment and found
Buffy seated on his couch.

He blinked, wondering for a moment if she was even really there. �I
thought� I thought you would�ve gone. That�s why I left you,� Spike said. �You�
I was letting you go.�

�I know,� Buffy replied evenly. �And I did leave. Then I came back.�

�You came back?� Her declaration made absolutely no sense to Spike.
After what he�d done to her, he would�ve thought for certain that she would�ve
run away as soon as he left � and stayed gone. Unless perhaps she�d come back
for revenge�

Only she wasn�t moving towards him and she looked like she was in no
shape to attack him. She looked as bad as she had when he�d left her � possibly
even worse. She was dirty, as if she�d been crawling on the ground, and he�d
never seen someone look so exhausted in his life. If she was there to kill him,
she was at a serious disadvantage.

And he knew she couldn�t have someone with her, at least not inside.
Spike purposely chose to rent apartments when he traveled and not stay in hotel
rooms for that very reason � vampires would need an invitation to get inside.

So she was sitting on his couch, alone, after coming back to a
place where she�d been brutally tortured over the course of two days. There was
only one question for him to ask.

�Why?�

She met his eyes, and Spike saw something dark that hadn�t been there
before in them now. �Because I�ve changed my mind.�

Spike�s brow furrowed. �Changed your mind?� he asked, still not able to
comprehend what had brought her back there.

For a moment, her face changed, her features flickering between human
and demon.

�I�m going to help you kill Angelus.�

*** *** ***

Thank you for all the feedback for the last chapter. It definitely kept
the muse well fed. ;)
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Love and Death Embrace