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Shadows Still Remain	By : addielogan Category: Angel the Series > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Cordelia > Angel(us)/Cordelia Views: 3578 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Cordelia hadn't had a vision yet that
evening, and she tried to decide if she should leave anyway and see what she
could find on her own. Anne wasn't home, but she'd been out late several times
over the past few days, and Cordelia didn't question it. For all she knew, Anne
had told her where she was going, and it was one of the things she didn't fully
understand. Even as words began to make more sense to her, she still didn't
comprehend everything that was said, nor had she started trying to really speak
to anyone. It seemed like too much effort these days.
Suddenly, Cordelia froze,
her back stiffening. Someone was out in the hall, and her body began to tingle
like it did when she had found her prey, only something was different. This time,
it didn't make her feel ready for a fight. She rose up from the couch, facing
the door as she heard the key in the lock, and waited.
When the door opened, Cordelia gasped at the
sight of the man standing beside Anne. She couldn't remember how she knew him
or what place he'd held in her life, but Cordelia knew beyond a shadow of a
doubt who she was looking at now. "Angel," she said softly, her word
barely above a whisper.
Angel came across the room and to her so
quickly Cordelia barely had time to register he'd moved, and his arms wrapped
around her, squeezing her tightly. Cordelia returned his embrace, feeling a
sort of peace she hadn't known in as long as she could actually remember wash
over her.
"I never thought I'd see you
again," Angel said, his mouth against her hair. "They told me you
were gone." He pulled back enough to look at her face, though he kept his
arms tightly around her, as if he were afraid she'd disappear. "What
happened? How are you here?"
"She hasn't been talking," Anne
said, coming up near Angel and Cordelia but still keeping her distance, not
wanting to feel too much like an intruder on what should've been a private
moment. It was clear from Angel's reaction to seeing her again exactly what
Cordelia meant to him.
Angel looked sharply at Anne. "She
hasn't been talking? Cordelia's always talking�"
"She doesn't seem to really remember
who she is�or anything, I don't think. She was really shaken up when I found
her."
"Where did you find her?" Angel
asked.
"In an alley. All she had was a lab
coat, and she seemed really disoriented." Anne looked up and met Angel's
eyes. "I don't know what happened to her, but she was only a few blocks
away from Wolfram and Hart�and it was the night the building collapsed."
Angel turned from Anne and gazed back down
at Cordelia. Had Cordelia been inside of Wolfram and Hart this whole time�and
if so, how had he not known it? He was supposed to have been in charge, after
all. But then again, he'd had a feeling they were playing him from the
beginning, and telling him one of his friends was dead when she was indeed
still there having who knows what happening to her was just the sort of thing
they'd do.
But what about his last visit from her? From
the way that had ended, Cordelia had seemed aware of the fact she was actually
dead. If she was really just about to wake up, why all of that, even if she'd
known Wolfram and Hart was going to keep her? Wouldn't she have tried to warn
him of that?
None of it made any sense to Angel. He
couldn't figure out what Wolfram and Hart would've been doing with Cordelia,
why they would've led him to believe she was dead when really, they'd already
had access to her when she was in a coma, or why Cordelia was suddenly without
memories�again. He couldn't help but think of the last time she'd been without
her memory, and Angel hoped this wasn't a repeat or past horrors. Then,
however, Cordelia had been able to remember some things, just nothing about
herself personally. If what Anne was saying was true, then the memory loss this
time went much deeper.
"She remembered you," Anne said,
pulling Angel's thoughts back to the present. "I don't know if she
remembers details or anything, but she said your name shortly after she got
here. That's why I was trying to find you. And she seemed like she knew who you
were when you came in, too."
Angel brushed his hand across Cordelia's
cheek, smiling back at her as she smiled at him. "Yeah, she did. I guess
that's a good sign. Do you know who I am, Cordy?"
His question made more sense to her than
almost anything else Cordelia had heard in the past couple of weeks. As soon as
Angel had touched her, she'd felt better, like maybe things could be okay
again. "Angel," she replied, cupping his cheek with her hand.
"You're�you're my Angel."
Her response made Angel suddenly choked with
emotion, the gravity of the situation hitting him fully. He was looking down at
a face he'd never thought he'd see outside of his dreams ever again� He pulled
her back against him, breathing in her scent as he did. He wanted more than
anything for this to be real, for him to truly be getting Cordelia back. He'd
already lost so much� Couldn't the Powers just let him have this?
Cordelia wrapped her arms back around Angel
as he pulled her to him again. Even without being able to remember exactly who
he was, she knew they'd been apart for a while�longer than she had wanted�and
being with him again filled her with happiness.
She loved him�
Cordelia looked up, meeting Angel's eyes as that
revelation came to her. She couldn't remember her life with this man, but she
knew all the same that she had indeed loved him. But had he loved her as well?
The way he'd reacted to seeing her again would lead Cordelia to think he did,
but without any clear memories, she couldn't give whatever sort of relationship
they'd had a real name.
"I thought you could help her. Better
than I could anyway," Anne said as Angel pulled slightly back from
Cordelia. "She seems to be remembering little things, like words and maybe
what she likes and what she doesn't, but I think most of her life is still a
blur. I didn't know her well enough to help her remember who she was, but I
thought maybe you would."
"I know her pretty well," Angel
confirmed with a nod. "I still have most of her things, too."
"Maybe being in a familiar place would
help her, too," Anne added. "Not that I'm saying you have to take her
with you if you don't want to. I'd be happy to let her stay here as long as she
needs to, but�"
"I can take her home," Angel
replied, reaching down to tightly grasp Cordelia's hand.
"I think that'll be the best for
her," Anne said, her hands fiddling with the material of her dress.
"But can you let me know how she's doing?"
"You can come see her, if you'd
like," Angel told Anne as he reached into his jacket pocket with his free
hand and pulled out a small, white card. "This is my address," he
said as he handed her the card. "It's the Hyperion Hotel. Feel free to
come by and see Cordy." Angel cleared his throat. "I really appreciate
what you've done, Anne. I can't even begin to tell you what having Cordelia
back means."
"I'm just glad I found her. And you,
too. She needs more help than I can give her."
"I'll do everything I can for
her," Angel said. Unable to stop the impulse, he leaned in and placed a
kiss on top of Cordelia's head.
Anne watched the two of them and hoped this
would indeed help Cordelia remember who she really was.

***
*** ***
Cordelia sat in the passenger's side of Angel's
car, her hand trailing over the interior as he drove. Sitting there gave her a
slight sense of familiarity, yet she couldn't recall any specific time.
She looked over at Angel, taking a moment to
observe him, to recommit his features to memory. It had felt a little strange
to leave Anne's so quickly, but at the same time, Cordelia didn't feel like she
could possibly leave Angel's side now that she'd found him again. She'd also
caught enough of the conversation when they were leaving to know Anne planned
to visit her wherever it was Angel was taking her.
Cordelia could only hope that place would
feel like home.
When Angel brought the car to a stop,
Cordelia looked up at the building they were parked in front of and gasped. She
knew this place� She knew it the same way she'd known Angel, deep down
inside, as if it were a part of her.
"This is home, Cordy," Angel said,
turning off the car and as he look over at Cordelia. "It's the hotel�the
Hyperion. Do you remember it?"
Cordelia cleared her throat, still not used
to talking anymore. But she'd understood what Angel asked her, and she wanted
to respond. "A little."
Angel smiled at her, then reached over and
squeezed her hand. "Let's go inside and see if you remember more,
okay?"
"Okay."
Angel led her from the car into the
building, letting Cordelia walk slowly, taking the time to observe everything
around her. He kept glancing at her face, hoping to find traces of recognition
there.
Cordelia stopped at the front door, her hand
tracing the woodwork for a moment before she grasped the handle and pushed the
door open. She stepped inside, Angel close behind, and walked into the lobby,
coming to a standstill at the bottom of the steps.
She knew immediately, without any doubts,
she had been there before. From the way she felt now, she'd say many times
before. Slowly, she walked around the room, her hands grazing the walls, the
furniture, wishing that maybe she could stimulate her memory through touch.
The room seemed too empty now, like a hollow
shell. She walked behind the counter, noticing the way dust piled up on the
books and papers she found there, as if whoever had been there last had simply
left everything how it had been in the moment they walked away.
From there, she found the office, the small
room seeming as untouched as the rest of the lobby. She ran her fingers along
the edge of the desk, something seeming to tingle her memory. A man, slightly
built with bright eyes behind wire frame glasses. He had sat behind that desk�
"This was my office, then it was
Wesley's, then mine again. Do you remember anything from in here?"
Cordelia turned sharply, unaware that Angel
had followed her in. "Wesley?"
"Do you remember Wes?"
"Maybe," Cordelia replied. Was he
the man she was thinking of now? "Picture?"
"Yeah. There's one out here. Just a minute." Angel went over to what had been
Cordelia's desk and grabbed the picture she had there from back when it had
been just the three of them and brought it to Cordelia. "Here. This is
Wesley."
Cordelia took the picture from Angel and ran
her fingers over the glass. "I remember his face," she said softly.
"Where is he?"
Angel looked away, wincing as he spoke.
"He's dead. I�I don't know if you remember them, but Fred and Gunn are
dead, too."
She did remember the names, especially now
as she stood in this place. She remembered Anne talking about Gunn as well,
trying to get in touch with him because he'd been a mutual friend. "All dead?" Cordelia asked softly, Angel's
revelation filling her with pain even as she struggled to recall the people
she'd known had once been her friends.
"Things got hairy for a while�really
bad. They weren't able to make it through."
Cordelia looked down at the picture again,
then back at Angel. She knew at some point, they'd been part of a team. And
now� "It's only us left?"
A lump formed in Angel's throat. He hated to
have to tell her this, even when he knew she couldn't fully understand the
gravity of it all with her memories gone. "Yes. It's only us."
"I'm tired," Cordelia said,
tightening her grip around the frame.
"Yeah, it is late. Come on, I'll show
you your room. Your things are in there. I�I kept them. Maybe they'll help you
remember."
Cordelia nodded. "Okay." She
reached down and took Angel's hand, letting him lead her upstairs.

***
*** ***
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Shadows Still Remain