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Out Of Memory, Loss	By : pixel2817 Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Angel(us)/Xander > Angel(us)/Xander Views: 5977 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or AtS. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author: pixel
Title:Out of Memory, Loss.
Part:4/?
Pairing: Xangel
Rating: NC17
Feedback: always welcome
Concrit much appreciated and possibly needed
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is still owned by Joss et al ~ anything new is mine.
Warnings/Squicks: Willow bashing, violence, light BDSM, bloodplay

Beta(s): don’t have one
Distribution: hell, if anyone wants it just take it. Just drop me a line so I can take a look.

Summary :- This came from a couple of plot bunnies/challenges I saw awhile back. I’m sorry I don’t remember where, but thanks for the ideas.

1)Tabula Rasa wasn’t the first time Willow cast memory spells on Xander, and they all broke with the crystal.
2)Xander has left Sunnydale at some previous point and they had no idea where he’d gone. Willow calls AI for help and Xander answers the phone.

This is set post Tabula Rasa BTVS and Ats Season 3 up to Billy, Darla never comes back and there is no Connor, mainly ‘cos he just doesn’t fit this story.

Quick thanks for the reviews/comments ~ glad you like it so far

Rocky Reunions

Angel woke again when he felt the bed shift; opening his eyes he saw that Xander must have been up for awhile as he was sitting up against the pillows, cradling a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. The vampire noticed another mug on the stand, which was full of warmed blood. Pulling himself up next to Xander, he snagged the mug and took a long swallow.

“Breakfast in bed, now that’s a treat.”

“My way of saying thank you for last night.”

“Believe me it was entirely my pleasure.”

“Not that, jeez,” a warm blush spread over Xander’s cheeks, causing Angel to chuckle warmly. It amazed him that his lover still retained that air of innocence despite everything that had happened to him in his life. Sometimes, when he watched Xander sleep the boy looked so young, and that made Angel feel every one of his two and a half centuries. It made him wander if he was corrupting Xander by dragging him further into the dark. If he were stronger; he’d let the boy go, let him find a life and love untouched by the world Angel was forced to inhabit. Xander belonged in the light and deserved to have a chance at a normal life. Of course the one time Angel had voiced that opinion out loud, had precipitated the worst fight they’d had since becoming lovers. Xander had been furious at the idea that Angel thought he couldn’t make his own decisions. He’d told the vampire, in no uncertain terms, that he was right where he wanted to be; and that Angel had no business in thinking he knew what was better for him. This was Xander’s life and he was the only person who got to decide what he did with it.

“I meant about you calling Lindsey. I know that can’t have been easy for you.”

“You and Tara will be safer if he’s here.”

“Not safer, exactly; but having him around will make it easier. He was a good friend when we needed one. Are you sure you’re going to be ok with him being around, I know you kinda… “

“Hate him with a fiery passion. Think he’s beyond evil. Yep. I’ll cope with him for a few days. If nothing else he’ll be a distraction.”

“If you really want to get at him, just thank him for bringing us together. I mean if you hadn’t been stalking him, you wouldn’t have found Tara and me. Tell him that he’s responsible for your new happy state and it’ll drive him crazy. You get your torture and we don’t have to get bloodstains out of the carpet.”

“I thought you liked Lindsey.”

“I do, but he kinda deserves a bit of a hard time for all the grief he gave me when I told him about us. Speaking of coming out, what was the idea of this?” Xander’s fingers swept over the prominent bite mark on his neck.

“You’ve never minded when I bit you before.”

“And I don’t now, for god’s sake Angel you know me well enough to tell that it drives me wild when you bite me. It’s a connection that’s like nothing else on earth. But usually I don’t wake up with a visible mark; you always heal the wound before we go to sleep. Last night you left it and I want to know why?”

“It’s a visible mark.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyone who sees it will know we’re together.”

“That was my point, all hell is likely to break loose when they show up here. I’ve no intention of hiding our relationship, but I sorta thought of breaking it to them gently. They’re going to have to find out about us; and about your soul being permanent, but do you really think it’s a good idea to rub Buffy’s face in it like this?”

“It wasn’t for Buffy. It was for Spike.”

“Spike, your idiot Childe. Why the hell does it matter if he knows about us?”

“He’s my Childe.”

“I know that.”

“He needs to know you’re off limits. I don’t want to have to kill him for touching you.”

“Hang on, don’t I get a say in this? I mean I don’t want Spike touching me, ‘cos Eeew; but what in the world makes you think that he’s gonna try anything? I mean he never, ever showed any interest in me whatsoever. Beyond promising to rip my throat out when he got rid of the chip. And if he did, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, I mean you know Spike can’t hurt humans.”

Angel knew he was on dangerous ground with his lover. Xander hated it whenever Angel tried to mollycoddle him; telling the boy that something was too dangerous for him, was tantamount to waving a red flag at a bull. He had to get Xander to take him seriously without letting him think he was dismissing his ability to take care of himself. Telling him that a vampire leaving such a prominent mark was seen as a sign of ownership really wouldn’t go down well. The mark made Xander an honorary member of the House of Aurelius and would offer him a certain amount of protection. It wasn’t as good as a full claim; but it would put Spike on notice, make him obligated to watch out for Xander and keep him safe. It was a way of making sure that if the shit did hit the fan; Spike would have no doubt where his loyalties should lie.

“It’s a vampire thing.” Ok even Angel knew that as excuses go, that was incredibly lame, but maybe Xander wouldn’t notice.

“A vampire thing? You know usually I’d make you suffer for that, but I can’t be bothered this morning. Just try not to make things worse than they’re already going to be.”

“It will be ok.”

“No, it’s going to be a fucking disaster, but I’m thinking maybe Fred was right last night. Maybe it was past time for Tara and me to do this.”

The new surety in Xander’s voice gave Angel a measure of hope; maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as he’d feared. “We should check with Wes and Tara, see how they’re doing on the Faith front.”

“Already on it, I spoke to Wes when I was getting your blood. They did the spell last night and all the official records now show that Faith did her time and is ready for release. Gunn and Cordy went to pick her up. We figured that they were the only ones without any real baggage with her; so they’d be the best ones for the job.”

“Cordy and Faith trapped in a small moving vehicle, are we sure they’ll both still be breathing when they get back here?”

“Cordy promised not to say anything that might drive Faith off, she knows how important this is. Besides who else could have gone? Gunn already called and said they’re on the way back. You can talk to them yourself then.”

“Sun’s nearly down, so we won’t have a lot of time once they get here. Spike said they’d leave as soon as they could and the way he drives they’ll be here in a couple of hours.”

“Better Spike than Buffy, being in a car with her behind the wheel is the worst kind of extreme sport. Definitely not for the faint hearted. I’m gonna go spend some time with Tara, Wes is double-checking the new wards; and she shouldn’t be on her own.”

“Well I can think of better ways of spending the next two hours, but I guess I’m doomed to disappointment.”

“Yeah, you’re so hard done by. Why don’t you figure out where we’re going to stash everybody; we were so busy worrying about the defences and stuff, we forgot to think about the practicalities of having a bunch of people stay here. Fred’s bustling around doing the Suzy homemaker thing, but I bet she’d appreciate some help.”

“Fine, I’ll make nice for our unwanted guests, you just make sure Tara’s ok and don’t worry about leaving me all horny and lonely.”

“Hold that thought and I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”

Tara and Xander were sitting quietly on a couch in the lobby, trying very hard not to worry about the way the night was going to go. They knew that their new family would keep them safe, but it was tough not to think about what might happen. They heard the door open and tensed up, relaxing only when they saw Cordy and Gunn enter the room. Trailing behind them was Faith, looking like she’d rather be anywhere but there. Xander wanted to go talk to her, let her know she was welcome, but for once the loquacious teen just couldn’t find the words.

Tara had only met the dark Slayer briefly, but she’d heard plenty of horror stories. Looking at Faith now, she saw little of the woman who’d so scared her in Sunnydale. Opening herself to her magic, the Wicca took a peek at Faith’s aura; it had changed completely. Back when she’d first seen it, when Faith hi-jacked Buffy’s body, the aura had been full of dark angry colours. Brown and red and violent streaks of black, some darkness still remained. Faith would never be able to fully escape the consequences of her past violent acts; but now the aura was shot through with much brighter colours. Purples, blues and greens, which showed Tara how much Faith had changed.

Knowing how hard this must be for Faith, Tara resolved to help her feel welcome. She wanted Faith to realise that there’d be a place for her here if she wanted it; that they weren’t just going to turn their backs on her when the current crisis was over. Trusting these people had been hard for her, when Angel had first brought them to LA; but now Tara knew she was loved, knew she’d found a home where she belonged. She wanted Faith to know what that was like, to know that she too could have a new start here. Getting up from the couch, she approached the Slayer with a warm smile on her face, “Hi, I’m Tara. We did kind of meet in Sunnydale but you weren’t exactly yourself; so what do you say we start over?”

Faith just stood there for a few seconds, staring down at Tara’s outstretched hand; she didn’t know if she could do this. When Cordelia had shown up at the jail, and told her about the release scheme, she hadn’t been able to believe her ears. Even now she was miles away she kept expecting to wake up and find herself back in her cell. When Cordelia had explained about Buffy and the apocalypse demon, Faith had figured that she’d be safer if she just got the hell out of town; figuring if the Hyneako didn’t kill her Buffy would. Then Cordelia had played her trump card, Xander was the one who’d thought to get her out of jail and now he was in trouble and needed help.

Faith looked over at the couch and tried to figure out why Xander would want to help her. She’d had a lot of time in jail with nothing to do but think and time after time her mind had been drawn back to the boy she’d almost destroyed. She’d done so many things she needed to atone for; betraying her calling, killing for the Mayor, trying to steal Buffy’s life and the way she hurt Angel and his people. The one thing that had always haunted her the worst was Xander, the look in his eyes when she’d tried to kill him. She’d done worse to people, before and since, but none of them had ever looked at her the way he did. She’d seen fear in their faces; anger, rage and contempt, but when Xander had looked at her that night, his eyes had been filled with compassion. Even as she’d tried to end his life, he’d been trying to save hers.

Angel and Xander were the only two people who had ever attempted to help her, she’d betrayed them both in her time but now she had a chance to make it right. Looking at Xander once again she saw that, despite everything, his eyes still held that offer of compassion and friendship. She wasn’t going to turn it down twice; reaching out Faith grabbed Tara’s hand and said, “Nice to meet you properly, Tara.”

“We’ve got a room ready for you, if you want to shower and stuff, and Cordy picked up some new clothes.”

“Thanks Queen C, I’ll be glad to get rid of these rags.”

“You ladies can do the beautifying thing in a minute, but I think Angel will want to say hi to Faith before you drag her off.”

“You saying there’s something wrong with the way I look, Xander?”

“Faith, you’re as gorgeous as ever and if I weren’t seriously taken I’d be begging at your feet.”

“Begging huh? So who’s the lucky lady?”

Everybody began to snicker as they waited to see Faith’s reaction to Xander’s reply, “Angel.”

“Yeah, you’re taking me to see Fang; but who is it your seeing these days?”

“Like I said, Angel.”

Faith was doing a good impression of a goldfish as she tried to deal with the fact that Xander and Angel were both apparently gay now. A process not helped much by the mental images she kept getting. She’d been up close and personal with both men and the thought of them together was beyond hot. Just as she was beginning to formulate some sort of coherent response to the news, Wes came running down the stairs, “I’ve just seen Spike pull up outside, they must have set off earlier than we thought.”

“Sorry Faith, I guess the shower will have to wait. I guess it’s showtime; Tara and I are going to get Angel, while you do the meet and greet. Faith you might want to come with, lets give them a few minutes before we hit them with the news you’re here.”

Cordy, Gunn and Wes drifted nearer to their stashed weapons and exchanged worried glances, they hoped Angel got up here soon as they really didn’t want to deal with Buffy or Willow. Hearing the door creak open, they plastered false smiles on their faces and waited to greet their guests.

tbc…..
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Out Of Memory, Loss