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Seasons of Faith	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4355 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Seasons of faith
Chapter 4

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It’s evening on the UC Sunnydale campus.
Out of the shadows emerges a familiar figure. Tall, blonde, and fangy. He lights a cig, and looks around the campus.
“Well, well…so the slayer is going to college now. How…charming.” Spike says, getting a tight little grin on his face. “ I suppose you graduated with your class after all… right before you blew up the high school. Would’ve loved to have seen that.” His face gets grim.” But I haven’t forgotten what you and you’re little friend have done to me, pet. So, be warned, Slayer… Spike is back. The Big Bad is in Town. And when I get through with you two….”
At that moment, Spike is interrupted when he is blasted by four Taser blasts. He starts to shake all over, and falls to the ground, paralyzed. Four soldiers come up to him, and check him out. Once they are secured him, they drag him off.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Elsewhere on the Sunnydale campus, Buffy is on patrol.
Her brow is furrowed, and she has a worried look on her face.
A Vampire attempt to sneak up on her. “ You really should get better shoes. Those cheap ones you’re wearing? I can hear them squeaking a mile away” She doesn’t even look around, just backhand stakes him, then continues her patrol.
Something weird is happening on the UC Sunnydale campus, and Buffy wants to know what’s going on. When they saw those soldier boys on Halloween( Ok, they nearly ran us over), I thought they were just revelers. Then they appeared again when Oz and I ran to try to save Willow from Veruca. And now and then I come across them in the woods, by accident. Not like I’m looking for them… or them me, cause they always fade quickly. But something is smelly at UC Sunnydale, and I’d like to know what. And why do I get this feeling Professor Walsh is somehow involved?
Buffy sighs. She wishes that was all that was on her mind. But it’s not.
Faith is acting weird. It has got something to do with Will. I know, cause that’s when it started(this time). Ok, ok, I was wrong. I shoulda spoken to her before inviting Will to stay. But Will is having such a hard time of it with Oz and all, I just couldn’t leave her there alone in her dorm room. What kinda friend would that make me? She’s been my best friend forever. I love her like a sister. I’m just gonna let her sit there, dying inside, and go along La, la, la, la, la.? C’mon. We had the room… no one is using it. So why not? I mean, isn’t being with friends better than alone? I just don’t get where Faith is coming from. Ya know?
Buffy comes across a couple of vampires attacking a young woman. She immediately joins the fray, getting the intended victim free of the vampires. “ Run, get help” She tells the woman, who immediately makes herself scarce. Yeah…I’ll be done with these two before anyone can come back. She goes into her routine, kicking one out of the way, turning around and staking the other. “See? Didn’t your mommy tell you never to run into sharp pointy sticks?”. As the other gets back up, she punches him, then stakes him. Hoover time. “ Boy, you two weren’t any fun. Is this the best you got?” She sighs, and continues on her patrol.
She acts all nice and polite when Willow’s around. But boy, it really changes when we’re alone. She doesn’t say hardly a word to me. I ask her how her day was . “Fine”. How’s therapy? “Fine”. How’s school going? “ Great”. Well, guess I should be happy it’s not “Fine” Huh? Geeze. What did I do? And in bed. Ok, that’s so not happening, either. Was down to weekends. Now down to…zip? God, I’m hornier than hell, and she’s like… nowhere. Ok, during the week, I got it. She’s working, in therapy, going to school, and studying(I told her I’d handle patrolling for awhile…but she still goes out, for a short sweep anyway).. So, I knew she was tired. Didn’t press it. Cuddles were fine. Guess what? No cuddles. Now she just lies there…or even turns her back on me. What’s THAT about? And on weekends, always some excuse. I’m studying. I’m doing my exercises. I gotta do this, or that, or the other thing. Anything but touching Buffy. That certainly isn’t on the schedule. Or, she’ll just be gone. I’ll wake up, she’s not in bed. The bike is gone… she’s gone riding somewhere. Gone for hours. Grrr. Am I getting frustrated. Oh, yeah, you betcha. What’s her deal?
Ok so I’m spending some time with Will. Geeze, I’m just trying to cheer her up. She’s miserable. So I gotta take her around, show her life continues. But Faith acts like… like…it’s a …oh, my god. Is She JEALOUS? Is that’s what’s going on? Does she think… Oh …Damn!… But that’s STUPID!!!!!!!!!! ME? And Willow? Oh, come ON. She’s my best friend…and that’s all. What does she think? I have the hots for Will? Yeah, right, Faith. That’s so smart. Ok, there’s no denying that Willow is cute. And has major adorableness going at times. But…Dammit, I love Faith. Doesn’t she get that? What kinda girl does she think I am, anyway?
Ok, now I’m pissed. Totally pissed. Where does she get off thinking something like that, anyway? Huh? I mean, did I spend months crying my eyes out over Willow? Did I go to the prom with Will? Who caused me to nearly die when I thought she was …dead? Will? I don’t THINK so. And whose bedside did I spend 6 weeks at? Wills? God! Get a clue, Faith. Get a CLUE. I love you! Do I have to have it tattooed on my forehead? Is THAT what you need to believe me? Ok, fine, take me to the tattoo parlor.
I can’t believe that she still doesn’t understand that she’s my one and only, my love. GOD. What do I do, Faith? Give up my friends, family, everything? Will that convince you? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME????
And hey, Faith. This is my place too. If I want someone to come stay here, because they might need a friend, it’s gonna happen. Get over yourself. I live here too. I get a say, too. Who do you think you are, Faith DeMarco? Huh? Who? Be glad you’re “busy” elsewhere, Faith. Cause right now I could punch you into Tuesday. I don’t like be treated this way. I don’t like it one damned bit. Better not give me any grief when I get home, Faithy, dear. You might find yourself so sleeping on the couch. You might anyway. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Buffy storms off, ready to wipe out anything in her path.
Maybe Spike was lucky getting zapped, earlier. Wouldn’t want to be him, if he got in the way of the slayer now.
Ummm… wouldn’t want to get in Buffy’s way right now, period.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Willow is in the library.
She’s hiding out.
From Buffy.
If Buffy drags me to one more party, or to the Bronze, or to some stupid poetry reading, I’m gonna scream!!!!!
Willow gets an apologetic look on her face.
Ok, Ok, I know. She’s just trying to help. And I admit, I like her trying to help. And it does help. But there are just times I need alone time… grieve time. Time to cry it out. And that means I need time alone, Buffy. I mean, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
Awww… who am I kidding, anyway. It has been great. Mostly. Nice getting close again, like back in High School. Haven’t been this close since Angel went all fangy and tried to kill us all. That kinda put a damper on the friendship, a little. Then Faith showing up…well…
Ok, I admit. I was jealous of her and Buffy. At first. A little tiny bit of me(ok, maybe more than little tiny) wished …well…she had seen me that way. But not now. I see how they are together. God, I wish someone looked at me the way Faith looks at Buffy. and visa versa. Even Oz, sweet as he was( break for a few tears)…where was I? Oh yeah, Oz never looked at me like they look at each other. They’re so in love. And it’s so special. It’s like they think in each others minds. And when they kiss, even small kisses, it’s so hot I get warm(blush). If I’m jealous, it’s for what they have together. I want that. With someone.
But I sense something’s not right there. I mean, lately…it’s too polite, you know? Everyone is walking on eggshells…and partly because of me. I know it. I mean, Faith hasn’t said anything. And she’s been all nice to me and all, but I got a feeling she’s not all happy I’m there. Sigh. Well… I can’t be doing that. I’m going to have to make some excuse to Buffy…figure something out. Move back to the dorm, or find a small apartment, or something. Just because my relationship is screwed up, don’t want to screw theirs up, too. Not good. Well, for now at least, I can kinda stay in my room, or be out as much as possible. Maybe that’ll help.
Willow really doesn’t feel like studying.
Maybe I’ll take a walk, try to figure stuff out.
She collects up her books, and heads for the library exit, not really paying attention to what she is doing. Just as she’s about to walk out, she runs right into another student. They both drop their books.
“Oh, my god. I ‘m so sorry” Willow apologizes profusely. “ I wasn’t paying attention”
She bends down to help the other girl pick up her books, and looks into what must be the most beautiful blue eyes she has ever seen.
“N..n..no…t-that’s ok, I wasn’t paying attention, either” the other girls says. She smiles shyly at Willow.
Willow knows her from somewhere, but she can’t quite place her. She collects up the other girl’s books, and hands them to her.
“Ummm…this’ll sound silly…but don’t I know you?” Willow asks, feeling a little shy herself. Odd.
“I…I… d-don’t think so” The other girl says. She starts to stand up.
It hits Willow.
“WAIT! I remember. Aren’t you in my Wicca Group?” Willow exclaims. That’s it!
“Oh…yeah…I…I…remember now.” She says.” Y-y-you were the one w-w-who wanted to do spells, r-r-right?” The girl says.
“Yeah… those girls. What a joke. All they wanted to do was sit around , talk about being Wiccans, then plan bake sales. A bunch of Blessed-Be wannabes” Willow quips, and giggles a little.
The other girl giggles too” I d-d-don’t think they could c-c-cast a spell to save their lives” She smiles.” I-I thought you were c-c-cool though”.
“Really?” Willow finds herself blushing. What’s THAT about? “I don’t think we were introduced. Hi, I’m Willow Rosenberg” Willow says.
“T-Tara. Tara Maclay” Tara smiles at Willow.
Gee, she has a pretty smile.!?! Willow?!?
“W-w-well… I guess I b-better be g-going” Tara says, starting to walk away.
Willow starts to leave, then turns around.
“Tara?” Willow calls out.
“Y-y-yes?” Tara says, turning around.
“Ummm” Willow starts. “ Do you want to go …like…get a cappuccino, or something? I mean…uh...well…I understand if you’re busy, but…”
“I-I don’t d-drink coffee” Tara says.
“Oh…sorry” Willow grins, blushes… and for some reason is terribly disappointed” I understand” She starts to turn away.
“I-Is tea ok?” Tara asks. “ I know this l-l-little tea room t-that’s nice”
Willow turns back, and sees Tara smiling a big smile. Her heart seems to go thumpity thump…HUH?
“That would be nice” Willow says, smiling back.
“Ok” Tara says. “ J-j-just let me return these b-books, and w-we can go” Tara says. She walks towards the library main desk
Willow stands there, watching her.
For the first time in weeks, she feels… good.
(Author’s note: Ok, I made Tara “stutter’ in this scene. It's the last time I’m typing her stuttering. We all know she has a small stutter, but it’s time consuming to type. So, from now on, I’m going to ask you to pretend that she’s stuttering… thanks =) )
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Faith is sitting home alone… again
She is trying to get her mind wrapped around why she’s acting like she’s acting. Trying to figure out what she’s feeling. She’s not having great luck at it.
I don’t get it. Why am I acting this way? I mean, I know B loves me. She’s shown me how much she loves me( Faith fingers the necklace Buffy gave her in the hospital on their Anniversary).She tries to talk to me, get me to tell her what’s wrong. But how can I when I can’t get it?
Ok, I was a little pissed when she just moved Red in. I admit that. Kinda felt outta the loop, ya know? But that’s a done deal. Pointless to keep going over it again and again. And I know Red’s hurtin’. And of course I want to help her feel better. She’s B’s best bud… I know B. has to spend some time with her, ya know? But I can’t shake this feelin’
Like maybe B. would rather be with her, than with me. I mean, they been friend forever, right? They talk about everything. Guess that’s normal, huh? But I feel sometimes I just…don’t fit with B like Red does. Like I can’t …be on that same level. God, I don’t know. It’s like they’re in their own little world sometimes. They have some secret club I’m not a member of. I can’t be a member of. They have these little looks they exchange, kinda like “ I know that” and “ Yeah, I know that too” . and they got their own little jokes and stuff I can’t understand. I feel like I’m on the outside, looking in through the window… but there’s no door into that place. Does that make sense?
Faith shakes her head, trying to figure it out
And I don’t care what either of them says, there’s something there between them. Something more than just friends…ya know? Not sure if they even see it. But I can see it. Maybe I’m imagining it. No, I don’t think so. I can sense it. Feel it. It’s tangible, and real. Not saying they acted on it, or going to act on it. But it’s definitely there.
I can understand it. They’ve been through a lot together. And both are undeniably cute. I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with B? She’s just…B.( Sorry, I can’t describe It. You gotta just feel it). Of course, I’m kinda not clear headed in that department, since B just makes me go. But, I can understand Red seeing it too. And of course, Red has that cute little thing going too. Those freckles, and the red hair, and those eyes, which can be real sparkly…Ummm… Faith? What’s that about? You sound like YOU’RE attracted to her. Well, she IS cute, ya know. But I mean…I can see why it could happen, ok ?
But, I mean, could it happen? Is it happening here? I mean, their spending a lotta time together. I know B is trying to get Red back out there…but sometimes I wonder. I mean, I’ll come home, and their giggling and laughing… and it stops when they see me. I smile, and ask what’s up, but I get a like “So?” look from B. At least, I think that’s what it is. Sometimes I just feel like I’m intruding or something.
So of course, I’m like so mature about it. I act like a spoiled child. I turn away in bed, I kinda duck things, and I don’t talk about it. I pretend I’m too busy to do anything with B. Yeah, that’s so gonna make things better. Right. Be mature, right? Geeze. But why do I have to be the adult all the time? I’m still 17. Sometimes maybe I’d like to be babied a little, too? Sometimes I’d like to be a kid. Ya know? I mean, don’t I get a break here? Don’t I get to like not like everything? Do I have to be understanding all the goddamn time? When does someone see my point of view huh? When do I get to be right? Everyone expects me to be like so …cool and calm and whatever all the time, but hell, I get pissed too. But if I dare express it, Oh, no, I’m being the villain. I’m the bad guy. Yeah, thanks loads. Oh, NO Faith, you never hurt. You never want. You just be a good girl, Faith. Take whatever they dish you, Faith. Oh, and if they dump you , Faith? Well, hell of course its all YOUR fault , Faith.
Dammit, Faith. Chill. Geeze. No one’s dumping you. Why don’t you just get to it? The reason you feel this way has nothing to do with Will, or even B. Except that you really don’t deserve someone like B. No matter what you do, you can’t change who you are, Faith. You’re nothing but white trash. You know that. Ya keep trying to be somethin’ you’re not. No matter how hard you work, what you do, you can’t catch up to them. You think they have their own little world. Well, they do. All of them. But you don’t belong in it. You just drag Buffy down with you. Ya know? I mean, she had her choice of schools. She coulda gone to a lotta schools. But she stayed here. Why ? Cause of you. And what do you do? You get all pissy when she has a friend stay over. God, Faith. Hell, she’d be better off with Red, probably. Anybody but you.
I never shoulda come back. I shoulda run, and kept running. Things woulda been a whole lot better for her if I had. But no, Faith. You hadda come back, didn’t ya , Faith? Couldn’t live without her could ya, Faith ? Had to drag her down to your level, huh, Faith? No one could make her happy but you, right Faith? Ya, sure. You’re so full of yourself, Faith. Face facts. You’re nothin’. You’ll always be nothin’. And all you’re doin’ is holding her back.
Big talk, Faith. But that’s what you’re good at. Ya talk big, but what you gonna do? Sit here. Do nothing. Like usual. Face it Faith, you’re a loser.
Loser, Loser, Loser.
Big fat loser
Faith bites her lip, trying to hold back the tears.
Loser, Faith, Loser.
But it doesn’t work, and they start to flow
Aw, shit, What am I gonna do ?
Loser!
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
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Seasons of Faith