Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

After Death	By : addielogan Category: Angel the Series > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Cordelia > Angel(us)/Cordelia Views: 3020 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Angel lay on the floor of the Hyperion
lobby, dazed. He hadn't expected Connor to come there, and he certainly hadn't
expected Connor to punch him. And hard at that. The
kid was strong. Even as Angel winced in pain as he pulled himself up off the
ground, he had a bit of fatherly pride over that. "What was that
for?" Angel asked his son, wiping blood off his mouth.
"You sold me out!" Connor yelled.
Angel frowned. "What?"
"Those 'people' you so happily signed
me over to�the ones you let fuck with my mind�they were Wolfram and Hart
lackeys. They weren't my parents. They didn't even think they were my parents. It was all arranged so that they could
get to you, and you let them! You sold me to evil without a single care to whether or not I was okay!"
No� That couldn't be right. Angel had done
what he'd had to do to save Connor.
He'd protected his son. "That's not true! I checked on you, made sure you
were with a family."
"Did you make sure it wasn't an evil
family? They're Wolfram and Hart, for Christ's sake! Did it not even enter your
mind that maybe they were screwing you over?"
"It's not like I had much of a
choice!" Angel yelled. "In case you've forgotten,
you about to go all suicide bomber on me!"
"I woke up this morning to my mother
trying to kill me! I had to fight back! I had to�" Connor fell to his
knees, sobbing.
Angel stared down at the boy in horror as he
realized what Connor was saying. He'd had to kill a woman he'd thought of as
his mother. He saw Buffy leave out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't
care. This was more important. He knelt beside Connor, wrapping his arms around
him. "Connor�"
Connor pushed Angel away. "Don't you
touch me!" he yelled. "You did this to me! You hurt me again! That's
all you ever do. All you've ever given me is pain!"
"I�" Angel stopped. He didn't know
what to say. Nothing would make this any better.
"I hate you!" Connor screamed.
"I want you to die!" He lunged at Angel then, tackling him to the
ground. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a stake, and Angel's eyes
widened.
"Connor�no. You don't want to do this."
"I do. This has to end. You have to end."
Connor raised the stake, ready to plunge.
Suddenly, he was floating in the air, up above Angel's head. Angel's brow
furrowed. "What the�" He stood, looking over to see Willow. "You doing that?"
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"My son?"
"Your son? Vampire?"
"Not really. It's a�long story."
"Looks like he was trying to live out
an Oedipal complex over there."
Angel smirked. "You don't know the half
of it."
"I can't hold him all night,"
Willow said. "What do you want to do with him?"
"Got any sedatives?"
"Yes." Willow closed her eyes.
"What are you doing?" Angel asked
with a frown.
"Asking my girlfriend to bring
something to knock him out with from the impromptu hospital we set up. I would
just knock him out with magic, but that tends to be unpredictable."
"Yeah, I'd rather you didn't do
that."
A brunette Angel didn't recognize came out
then, handing Willow a syringe. "Thanks, Kennedy," Willow replied
before walking over to Connor and sticking the needle in his arm. He slumped,
and she floated him over to Angel. "He's all yours. Should
sleep for a while. Gave him enough to knock out�well, something big."
"Thanks. I think."
Willow gave Angel a nod and walked off with
Kennedy. Angel carried Connor upstairs, depositing him in one of the bedrooms.
He hoped Willow was right, and that Connor would stay down for the night. He
couldn't deal with this right now.
Angel took a long look at his sleeping son
before leaving him alone.

***
*** ***
Angel needed rest. He'd pushed himself for
days, and he knew he was falling apart. He found a clean room to sleep in that night,
something not filled with debris. He was beginning to think that tearing his
room to shreds had probably not been the most productive way to deal with his
anger. It hadn't left him with much. The room he was in now was similar to his
own, but different enough to set things off a bit. He lay on the bed, staring
into nothing as his thoughts swarmed through his head.
He couldn't even bring himself to really
think about Connor. He had messed that up more than he'd even dreamed possible,
and all he could do was hate himself for not reading the fine print, for
trusting Wolfram and Hart. He should've known that they'd do something to trick
him.
But the thought that really made him sick
now was the knowledge that, at the time, he hadn't really cared. He'd seen an
opportunity, and he'd taken it. He'd believed himself to be helping his son
along with the bargain, but that hadn't been all for him. He'd wanted to bring
down Wolfram and Hart, and they'd offered him his in. He'd taken it without any
real thought to the consequences.
Not so bright in retrospect.
He couldn't deal with it. Nothing had gone
right, and he couldn't even wrap his head around how much worse he'd made
things. Sure, he'd brought down the building, but, well, they'd certainly
recovered nicely from that zombie incident� And this was only the Los Angeles
branch. Wolfram and Hart was everywhere, in this dimension and in others. He'd
done nothing but hurt those closest to him.
And Buffy� How much had he messed that up? He winced as he replayed their conversation in his mind.
God, what could she be thinking right now? He hadn't said anything the way he'd
meant to, and he'd just made it all sound worse than it really was. Or had he?
A nagging voice in the back of his mind told him that Buffy wouldn't exactly
have appreciated his "I have to not be human so you won't die protecting
me" excuse either. And now, looking back on it, it seemed weak even to
him. He was the one who'd gotten hurt that day by trying to protect Buffy. And
when he really thought about it, he knew she'd put him behind her duty if need
be. She had sent him to Hell�
He wasn't sure he could handle thinking
about her either. He was second guessing himself more than he ever had in the
past, and he knew it came from a feeling of being lost. When he'd seen Connor
today, sobbing for the loss of what he'd been given and then had had so cruelly
ripped away, Angel had felt everything crumble. His son was broken and it was
his fault.
He'd destroyed everything around him, hurt
everyone.
He squeezed his eyes tight, wanting the
thoughts, the memories, the fears to go away. But they
were screaming inside his head, forcing him to take a long hard look at parts
of himself he'd wanted to keep forever buried.
He opened his eyes again when he felt a hand
run across his cheek. When he saw who was looking down at him, he smiled.
Cordelia� She was here again. He'd come to
the conclusion after the last time that he'd finally lost his sanity and was
hallucinating, but he didn't care. When he saw her, she felt so real, and it
was good enough for him. Even if it was only an illusion, he had her back for a
little while at least.
"Rough day,
champ?"
"Cordy�" Angel said softly,
reaching his hand out to her.
Cordelia lay down on the bed beside him,
resting against his chest. "I'm here with you for now, Angel. We don't
have to talk about it, and you don't have to worry. I know things seem
impossible right now, but it's going to be okay."
"Do you promise?" Angel asked, his voice small and belying his fear. He'd never felt
quite this broken before, even when he'd lived in alleys feeding off of rats.
He'd lost it all�
"Yes. I won't lie to you, Angel. You
have a lot of hard things you're going to have to face, a lot of mistakes
you're going to have to own up to. But they don't matter right now. You need to
rest, and I'm here to make sure you can get that."
"Will you still be here when I wake
up?"
"I don't know. I want to be, but I'm
not sure I can."
Angel didn't ask why. "Can you try to
be?"
"Yeah, I will. But sleep now. Things
will be clearer if you rest."
Angel nodded, his eyes sliding shut. He did
feel better, just having her here. Her presence this time was soothing. He
wrapped his arms around her, drifting off to sleep with Cordelia there to hold.

***
*** ***
This day had not been going any better for
Angel than the last few had. He'd woken up alone again. He had to be really
losing it. He wondered if that would be so bad. Drusilla had always seemed
happy enough, in her own little psychotic way.
Still, he wanted it to be real. If only
something of her would stay behind. If he could wake up and still smell her
scent�
Then he'd made the mistake of going
downstairs, only to be chewed out by Willow. Apparently even she thought Spike
was more of a Champion than him, too. Maybe it had something to do with the
murder of her goldfish�
He'd come upstairs then, stopping in front
of Connor's door. Angel knew he was still in there, even if he hadn't left all
day. But Connor also hadn't tried to kill him again, so he was hoping maybe he'd
calmed down some. Angel knocked on the door. When he got no response, he tried
again, this time calling out.
"Connor, it's your da�it's Angel. I just want to talk to you."
Connor still didn't reply. Angel reached
down, turning the handle and finding the door unlocked, then
going into the room. Connor was sitting on the bed, his knees pulled up as he
stared at the wall, making no move to acknowledge the new presence in the room.
Angel didn't know what to say or what to do. It hadn't been that long ago since
he'd been given an infant, a life, to care for, and looking at the young man in
front of him now, he knew how badly he'd messed that up.
"Are you hungry?" Angel asked.
"I know you haven't really wanted to leave the room, so I could bring you something
up if you wanted."
No answer.
"Okay, not hungry� Are you too cold in
here? Or too hot maybe? Do you need anything at all?"
Connor turned then, his eyes an icy blue
that reminded Angel a bit too much of Darla. "I don't need anything from
you. Stop trying to be my father."
Angel blinked. "Connor, I�I am."
"No, you're not. And you made sure of
that, didn't you? Got rid of me as fast as you could, made it so I was someone
else's son."
"No! Connor, it wasn't like that! I
didn't want to give you up. You're my
son, and I love you."
Connor jumped up, facing Angel as he began
to yell. "What do you know about love? You don't even care about me! You
couldn't wait to get me out of your life! And hey, the fact that doing that
came with money, power, and a bunch of shiny new toys�just a bonus."
"That isn't true! You're more important
to me than anything in this world. You're my son, my own flesh and blood."
"I don't care! I don't want anything to
do with you. All you've ever done is fuck up my life,
and I hate you!"
Angel bristled. "Connor, please� I'm
sorry that things happened this way. I tried to do what was best for you, it
just�it never went the way I wanted it to." A list of things that Angel
had planned when he'd held Connor as a baby flashed through his mind, and he
grimaced at the thought of how so many of those dreams he'd had would never
come true for his son. "Just�just let us try to move on from here."
"No!" Connor yelled again. "I
can't stand here and listen to you act like it could ever be better, because it
can't. You've ruined my life, just
like you ruin everything."
"I know I messed up with you. But it wasn't because I don't love you, or because I don't want you in
my life. You mother told me once that you were the one good thing that
we ever did together, and it's true. Connor, you're the best thing I've ever
done, period. Even if things didn't go the way I'd like them to, I look at you,
and you still make me prouder than anything else ever could."
"Stop it!" Connor was fighting
against tears now. Angel wanted to reach out and comfort his son, but he knew
it wouldn't be accepted. "I�I have to leave," Connor said, going for
the door.
"No. Don't, please," Angel said,
reaching out and grabbing Connor's arm as he tried to make it past him.
Connor pulled away, making Angel stumble
backwards. "Don't touch me," he snarled before running out of the
room.
Angel went into the hallway, prepared to go
after his son when he felt a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.
"Let him go. He can handle
himself."
Angel turned slowly. "Cordelia."
"In the flesh."
This wasn't time for another hallucination,
no matter how real they felt. He needed to go after his son, not talk to an
imaginary Cordelia who would disappear without a trace as soon as he closed his
eyes. "I have to go after him, Cordy."
"No, you don't. Connor needs time right
now. Give it to him."
Angel's shoulders slumped. He couldn't fight
any of this. It was all too much. "I don't know what to do. I don't think
I've ever felt this lost."
Cordelia wrapped her arms around him,
pulling him to her. "I know it's hard now, but
you're strong, Angel. We'll get through this."
Angel stepped back, although he kept his
arms loosely around her waist. She felt so real. She smelled so real� "We?"
"Yes. We."
"Does�does that mean you can stay this
time?"
"I can stay�for as long as you need
me."
"I'm always going to need you, Cordy.
Without you I�I fall apart."
"I know. But it's going to be better
now. We can be happy."
The look in her eyes made Angel pull away.
"No. I can't�I can't be that happy."
Cordelia cupped his cheek. "Yes, you
can. It's okay. The Powers want to release you from your curse."
"What? I�"
"Shh�" Cordelia placed a finger to
his lips to silence him before replacing it with her lips. Angel hesitated for
only a moment before he pulled her to him with a growl. When they finally broke
apart, Cordelia was panting, gasping for air. Angel's vampiric ridges were
present now, and she reached up to stroke them. "It's going to be all
right, Angel," she said softly. "You can let go now."
Angel lifted Cordelia off her feet. He
didn't care what the consequences were. He didn't care if this wasn't really
Cordelia. It felt like her now, and that's all he wanted. He could wake up
tomorrow without his soul and he really wouldn't give a damn. If anything, he'd
welcome it. A release from all this pain.
He carried her into the bedroom where he'd
slept the night before, depositing her on the bed. She looked so beautiful,
just like she had when they'd first come to Los Angeles. That's how he always
remembered her. She'd been so young and bright then, the hard life they lived
not yet taking its toll.
Not that Cordelia had ever been anything but
beautiful. But then, she was even more extraordinary than usual. And her hair� He'd loved that hair the best. Long and dark
with waves he wanted to get lost in.
That was the Cordelia stretched out in front
of him now, waiting for him to make love to her. Angel took off his shoes and
shirt before joining her, pressing his body over hers. He let his demon face
recede before kissing her deeply. "I've missed you, Cordy," he said
when he broke away, letting her breathe. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too," Cordelia
replied, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "But I'm here now. I'll
never leave you again. I'm yours until you're dust."
"Is that going to be soon then?"
Cordelia shook her head. "No. I made
sure of that. Just don't worry right now, baby. I'm here." Cordelia
reached down, unbuckling his pants and reaching in, stroking him to hardness.
Angel moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. "You like that?"
"Yes�
Cordy, please� I want to see you. All of you."
Cordelia pulled her hand away from him and
pushed on his chest, rolling him over. She stood up then, slowly removed her
clothes, taunting him with her movements. His eyes stayed fixated on her body,
his hands itching to touch her. He didn't have to wait long, as she climbed
back on the bed, pulling his pants off the rest of the way.
Cordelia looked up at him, smiling. God, how he loved her smile� "I'm
going to make you feel good, Angel," she said softly. "I know you
need this."
"Oh god, Cordelia, I do. Please."
She leaned down, taking him in her mouth,
and Angel hissed, bucking his hips. He threaded his fingers in her hair,
holding on to her gently, but letting her work at her own pace. It was perfect,
exactly how he liked it. "You're so good at that, Cordy�"
She looked up at him, her eyes locking with
his before she slid up his length, scraping him with her teeth as she did,
adding just enough pressure for the slightest bit of pain. He tightened his
grip in her hair, watching her as she slid down, only to slide back up again.
Angel moaned.
Cordelia started sucking harder then, her
hand reaching beneath him to grip his balls, running her nails over them. Angel
bucked, loving the pain she mixed in with the pleasure. She moved faster, her
mouth and hands bringing him closer and closer to the edge. Angel closed his
eyes, forcing himself to hold back.
"I want you to come in my mouth."
Angel opened his eyes, looking down to see
Cordelia still moving on him, She hadn't stopped, yet
he had clearly heard her voice. But he felt too good to care. He let go, giving
in to her request.
Angel lay relaxed on the bed as Cordelia
slid her mouth off of him, licking her lips. She climbed up his body,
straddling his waist and positioning herself above his still hard cock. She
leaned down, licking his neck before pressing her lips against his ear.
"I've waited so long to feel you inside me."
Angel shivered. "I've waited so long to
be inside. Dreamt about this moment�"
Cordelia straightened herself back up,
positioning her hands on his chest as she lowered herself down on his length.
When he filled her, she cried out, arching her back. She moved on him steadily,
and he found himself drawn to her breasts, watching them bounce as she rode
him. He pressed his hand against the small of her back, pulling her down
towards him.
"Do you want to taste them?"
Cordelia asked, her husky voice making him groan.
"Oh god yes."
"I want you to, too."
Angel pulled her down until he could latch
his mouth onto one of her nipples. Cordelia moaned his name, bucking against
him, and he reached up to cup her other breast with his hand.
"No�really taste it. It's all right, Angel."
Angel pulled back when he realized what she
was talking about. "Cordelia, I�"
"Do, it Angel. I know you want to. Do
it."
Angel snarled, his
demon back at the forefront. He sunk his fangs into her breast, savoring the blood
that filled his mouth. Cordelia screamed, and Angel wondered for a moment if
she was in too much pain until he realized that she was coming. She spasmed around him, her tight pussy strangling his cock.
He let himself get lost in the sensation, the smell of her pleasure and the
taste of her blood washing over him. It was perfect, bliss like he'd never
known before in over two centuries.
He pulled his fangs out of her with a roar,
coming inside her hard enough to make the rest of the world melt away.

***
*** ***
Please, please review. I can tell from the
hits that a lot more people are reading this than are actually taking the time
to review. (256 hits to 9 reviews at last count�) I spend a lot of time when I
could be doing other things writing fanfiction simply to entertain other
people, and really, asking people to leave one little review isn't that much�
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

After Death