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Her	By : QueenB Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 8502 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Spike was furious at the interruption. Getting cut short twice in the space of a single afternoon during a shag was a bit much. If he didn’t have the damned chip in his head and his shiny new soul, he would have torn out the delivery boy’s jugular.
As it was, he’d growled and his face had shifted in sex-denied frustration. Xander had nearly dropped him in his hurry to get him out of the room before the other guy got too much of an eyeful.
Xander left him in the bedroom and pressed a quick kiss on his lips. “Hey, Spike, sorry about that. I’ll just pay the guy and be right back, okay?”
“Well, hurry up, then. I’m still randy as all get out and having him and Red come in ain’t helping.”
“Hey, you’re not the only one hurting here, fella, so don’t get your panties in a bunch.” Xander picked up his wallet, stepped into a pair of pants and marched out. It wasn’t until he was gone that Spike realized that Xander had kissed him while he was still wearing his gameface--and that the man evidently hadn’t cared.
On the other hand, the pizza boy had been startled practically out of his wits. He’d seen mostly the other guy’s butt and a pair of nice legs clutched around his back. But the chick had shouted in some weird foreign accent and then he’d caught a glimpse of a truly twisted visage.
Before he could get a better look, the tall dude fucking her had rushed out of the room--as quickly as he could with her legs tied around him like a pretzel. Then the man came back with his money. “Dude, that broad--”
“She’s not a broad, dude. She’s my girlfriend, so watch the lip, okay?” Xander peeled off a few fives and smiled in a way that didn’t invite conversation.
The pizza guy plowed on, blindly persistent. “She’s get a fine set of stems but that face. Man! Does she have a disease or something?”
“There’s nothing wrong with her face.”
“But I saw it. It was, like, totally gross. How do you do it with the lights on?”
“Xander, can we have that pizza now?” Spike came walking out of the bedroom, having resumed his normal human appearance, and took up a spot on the couch. He picked up the remote and idly clicked on the TV.
“Whuh?” The chick had gone back to being hot. Where were those weird ridges? “I coulda sworn--”
“Maybe you need to get your eyes checked,” Xander replied in a tone that meant the subject was closed. He gave the pizza guy a tip and pushed him out the door. He made sure the lock was bolted and sagged against the door. “Boy, that was close.”
“You’re tellin’ me. Now where were we?” Spike switched off the TV and clambered over the sofa, ready to begin again.
“Spike, it’s not that I’m not up for it. But I’m really hungry here. Mr. Stomach’s doing the La Cucaracha and I’d really like something to eat. Besides, it’s almost dark out. I was wondering what you want to do later.”
“I was hoping for some more shagging.”
“Yeah, but we can’t do that all the time.” Xander sat down at the kitchen table and flipped open the pizza lid. He pulled out a slice and dug in. His eyes rolled up as he chewed enthusiastically. “Oh man, this is good! These guys make the best pizza.”
The vampire plopped down in the chair next to him and pouted. He was beginning to notice that Xander had a hard time resisting him when he got that expression; he’d seen how often Buffy used it to her advantage. But now the man was oblivious, too caught up in the simple pleasure of eating to notice.
Maybe he needed to be more forward. He opened his robe and began slowly circling a nipple with his finger. He leaned forward onto the tabletop, waggling his tits in the mortal’s face. Xander blinked at the display but other than that he didn’t stop chewing for a moment.
After a moment, Spike leaned back with a scowl. “I don’t believe it. One day as a bint and already we’re like one of those old married couples who’d rather eat than shag. If this is what it’s like to be a bird, then it sucks.”
Xander finished another slice of pizza and then burped, licking his lips. “Don’t pout, sweetie. Otherwise you can forget about that little outing of ours.”
The vampire pricked up his ears. “Outing? What outing?”
“Well, you were complaining earlier that you had nothing to wear. I was thinking that we could go out shopping and get you some things.”
“Shopping?” Spike didn’t think shopping was as exciting as screwing. Still, if he was going to be a bird, even for a little while, he was going to need some decent things. Grudgingly, he conceded the point. As Xander got up, he darted towards him and kissed the mortal hard. “Fine, pet. You win. But I’m still a bit on edge from the interruptions. Think you could do summat about that?”
__________
After doing “summat” about Spike’s problem, Xander realized that he had one of his own. He had no idea what to get a woman who needed clothes. Xander had a vague idea that bras and panties were involved and he’d seen Anya in various states of undress to know there were also teddies, corsets and other naughty little sundries. But he thought those were a bit--advanced for somebody just starting out as a girl…not to mention pricey. If Spike was going to become a man at the end of the month, there was really no point in going all out.
Finally he got an idea and picked up the phone. “Hey, Willow! Hi, um, you remember that, that, person you met earlier. Well, he’s, she’s, got sorta a problem.” He paused. “Yep, still a girl” He paused again. “He wants to try it out for a month.” There was a longer pause. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea but it’s his decision. Will you just listen for a minute?”
He drew in a deep breath. “He needs clothes and Anya took all her things so we wondered if you could help.” There was a shrill squeak from the other end. “Well, take him shopping.” There was another pause. “Because you’re a girl, that’s why!”
Willow continued to chatter away and Spike could clearly hear the aggrieved note in her voice. “I don’t know what to get and anyway this is your fault so why won’t you help?” There was a lengthier pause. “Tell Buffy the truth. I mean, this is nothing more than a bit of spell-inspired wackiness; it’s not as if she wasn’t feeling the R.J. love.”
There was another pause. “Will, I really don’t think you should lie to Buffy. But if you feel you have to, you can always say she’s somebody new you just met. It’s actually the truth so you won’t have to strain yourself lying. Whaddayasay?”
He listened again and heaved another sigh. “Okay, fine. I’ll pay. Just get him some nice things but not too expensive. I don’t know how long he’ll want to stay a girl.”
He hung up the phone and turned to his roommate. “She’s on her way.” When Spike moved his way with a familiar saucy grin, Xander retreated, his hands held up. “Geez, Spike! She’ll be here any minute. Do you want to get stopped in the middle again?”
The vampire stopped and thought it over. “Nope, guess not. How ‘bout a quickie, then?”
The mortal rolled his eyes. “Forget it. If I’m going to have sex, I’d rather take my time.”
Spike’s gaze softened. “That’s real sweet, Xand. But fast can be good, too.”
“I’ll pass. For the moment,” he added as he noted Spike’s aggrieved look. Xander looked around for Spike’s clothing that he’d discarded earlier. It took a bit of searching to locate the T-shirt; somehow it had gotten kicked under the couch. “Here you go.”
The vampire wriggled into the tight shirt and skirt and Xander sat silently watching the view. When the demon was dressed again, he had a thought. “Say, Xand. What are you gonna be doing all night?”
The Scooby raised his eyebrows. “Hadn’t thought about it. Figured I’d just stay here. Why, you had something else in mind?”
“Well, if I’m getting new stuff, I’d like to, ya know, show ‘em off. Was thinking along the lines of hitting the Bronze. You could come with.” The invitation sounded rather shy as if Spike wasn’t sure how he’d take it.
“Tell ya what. You and Willow do the shopping thing--’cause the Xandman doesn’t really want to go traipsing in and out of girlie stores. Then you can come to the Bronze later and show off your spanking new duds. That sound like a plan?”
Spike still didn’t want to be separated from Xander but the man appeared unwilling to budge on the shopping issue. And part of him was excited at the idea of surprising Xander with whatever the redhead picked out for him.
“You’re on, mate.”
__________
Spike felt strange going into a women’s clothing store. It wasn’t as if he’d never been in one before; they were good places to pick up victims, after all. It was just weird to have a legitimate reason and odd to have personal attention from the saleswoman that didn’t involve having her for sex and a meal afterwards.
She expertly sized him up and presented him with several pairs of bras, panties and pantyhose for him to try on. He snorted at the latter and proclaimed that he preferred to go barelegged until Willow pointed out that his pale skin might need the extra color to complement his new clothes.
He accepted the things nervously and retreated to the dressing room to try them on. He’d helped Dru with her toilet on many occasions when she’d been too weak or mentally at sea to help herself. But now getting the things on proved a bit of a struggle.
The panties were no bother; they went on one leg at a time, just like his trousers. But the bra proved to be a confounded bit of nonsense that he just couldn’t manage. Every time he tried pinning them in the back where he couldn’t see, the hook-and-eye fastenings evaded his groping fingers. Finally, he threw them down with a muffled curse. “Red!”
Willow jumped up from the chair where she’d been sitting. “What? What is it, Sp--uh, honey?”
“Could you give us a hand here?”
Willow gave the listening saleswoman a feeble smile and darted into the dressing room. “Spike, what is it? Oh geez!” She gaped at him and felt a flush race right up to her hair. Spike was completely naked excexpt for a pair of brief--very brief--lacey panties.
“It’s this brassiere. Can’t make…what’s wrong?” A quick glance downward to his bare tits and up to her red face let him know the problem. He grinned at her obvious discomfort. “What’s the matter, Red? It’s not like you’ve never been with a bird before.”
She stammered, “It’s just…you were Spike with Spike bits and you’re a girl now with girly parts and it’s not…I shouldn’t be in here. What did you want, Spike?”
“Well, I need help with these bra thingies. The straps are too much. Why don’t I just go without ‘em? Plenty of women do these days.”
“Yes, but bras provide support so you’re not just flopping up and down every time you move or bend over. Buffy likes to wear them so her boobs don’t get in the way when she’s fighting.”
“Huh. Remember plenty of times when she went out on patrol without them.” Belatedly he realized that Willow might not want to hear about his sexual shenanigans with the Slayer. Sure enough, Willow’s face closed up and she snatched up the discarded underwear.
“I’ll take these to the saleswoman and ask if they have bras with front snaps.” She turned from him and he tried to grab her. She tried to twist out of his grasp but he tightened his grip. Her eyes sparkled dangerously and she said in a low voice, “Spike, let go.”
There was an unmistakable menace in her tone and he released her quickly. “Ease up, Red. No need to get shirty.”
“Actually, you’re the one who needs to put on a shirt…or bra in this case. I don’t want you grabbing me, okay? Just because you’re a girl now doesn’t mean you can just paw me willy nilly.”
He opened his mouth to retort that wasn’t what he’d been smelling over at the apartment and then restrained himself with an effort. He didn’t want to antagonize the redhead; he genuinely appreciated her help. But she was getting upset about his fling with Buffy and he felt the need to put her straight on a few things.
“Look, Red, I know you lot are upset about what I did with Buffy last year. But it wasn’t like I forced her or anything--” A brief memory of the attempted rape made him pause minutely. But he was sure the wiccan knew nothing about it and he wasn’t about to enlighten her.
“No, you didn’t. But you knew it was hurting her and you kept right on doing it. She was unhappy and you were making it worse.”
“And you were making it better with the magicks? That stunt you pulled with that memory spell could have gotten us all killed, Red. What happened between me and the Slayer is our business.”
“No, Spike, you’re wrong about that. You wanted to believe you could take Buffy and stick her in a little box to have for yourself and that it wouldn’t affect anybody else. That would have been great if Buffy was Drusilla or Harmony. But Buffy’s a person with a life and responsibilities. And before you say anything about how she wouldn’t have had to deal with those responsibilities if it weren’t for me, you can save it. I know what I did to Buffy and I’m really sorry for it. I hurt her but I at least tried to make things better. Did you?”
“I gave her what she needed, what she wanted, Red. She was going right off the rails and I was there for her when none of the rest of you were.”
“And you thought whatever was wrong with Buffy was something that could be fixed with sex? Didn’t help, did it? She knew it, too; why else did she break it off?”
There was really nothing Spike could say to that. For him, the relationship had been everything and yet there had definitely been something missing. She never spoke of love and the only time she said she liked him was a grudging response to a needy question from him.
It was only sex to Buffy, he knew that, but he’d hoped that underneath her stubbornness she was in denial about the truth. She loved him and they were meant to be together. Surely she would see that, given enough time.
But she had ended it, firmly and decisively, without looking back. He had been the one to come crawling back to her and then trying to force things.
Willow watched the interplay of emotions on Spike’s face. Ever since she’d learned of his soul, she had looked hard to see if there was anything really different about him. She couldn’t see auras the way Tara had been able to but there was an indefinable quality about Spike that had been missing before. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but it was certainly there.
She sighed and clutched the delicates. “Spike, that’s all in the past now and, like you said, this was between you and Buffy. I’d much rather talk about what’s going on now between you and--”
“Is everything all right in there? You’re really not supposed to have two people in a stall, you know.” The saleswoman’s voice was loud compared to their whispers and Willow jumped. She stepped out, blocking the woman’s view of the topless blond behind her.
Willow held out the bras to her. “Do you have these with front snaps? And I’d like to see some of those scoop-necked blouses in red and blue.”
__________
Spike rode to the Bronze with an undeniable sense of anticipation. He’d often come there with the hope of running into Buffy without her friends. But those visits had been tinged with an aura of danger and the pathetic hope that, this time, the Slayer would see reason.
But now he was going to see somebody who really wanted to see him. I’m going to meet my fella! The thought made him giggle, causing Willow to stare at him. “Sorry, Red. Just thinking of something.”
“Would that something be Xander?” Willow said sweetly as they paused at a stoplight. When Spike looked surprised at her insight, Willow replied, “Anya used to get that look, too. So…about you and Xander…”
“There is no me and Xander. At least, not yet. This whole thing between us started with that soddin’ spell of yours. Xander and me have only been banging hips for a few hours now. Too soon for us to be a couple.”
Willow flushed again at the coarse, matter-of-fact phrasing. But she lumbered on regardless. “I’m not talking about sex. I mean, you and him have been getting close for awhile now, right? I-I’ve been getting a vibe that things were different.”
“Vibe? What kind of a vibe?” He darted a sharp glance to the woman driving the car. He had heard about Willow’s end-of-the-world rampage. Hard to believe this diminutive, shy-looking bint had almost destroyed the world…or that Xander had stopped her.
But he thought she’d been laying off the magic juice. Had she somehow grown in power to the point that she could read minds or get inside people’s heads? He knew she could project thoughts, had experienced it firsthand. He hadn’t known whether it could go the other way.
All at once, he was nervous. He didn’t want Willow rummaging through his mind and feelings, not when he was still trying to sort things out for himself.
“I’m not reading your mind, if that’s what you’re thinking,” came the smooth reply. Since that was exactly what he was thinking, the answer didn’t reassure him. “But this is Xander we’re talking about. I’ve known him since we were both kids and I know when all’s not right in the Xanderverse.”
“Has he been whinging on about me again?” Spike tried to keep his voice casual although worry and anticipation gripped him.
“Nope. That’s just it. He doesn’t complain about you at all or, if he does, his heart isn’t in it. I can tell. His feelings towards you have changed. I just want to know your feelings for him. So spill.”
Spike stared out the side window and his face wore a blankness to match the glass. “If Droopy hasn’t said anything to ya, I’m not gonna go about spilling secrets. It’s none of your damn business.”
Willow turned the wheel sharply to the left, pulling down a side street and nearly throwing Spike into the windshield. “Bloody hell! What’s the matter with you, woman? You drive almost as bad as the Slayer.”
Willow put the car in park and turned to glare at the vampire beside her. “You listen to me, Mr. Formerly Big Bad! Xander is my best friend and I’m making it my business what happens to him! You screwed around with Buffy last year and it’s lucky for you I never found out about that because I could have so cursed your pathetic pale ass! But if you hurt Xander in any way--and I mean any way--I’ll make you wish Angelus was back in town.”
She leaned closer and lowered her voice meaningfully. “Humans aren’t the only ones I can flay, you know.”
Spike stayed very still and tried not to gulp. He was damned if he was going to show fear in front of Willow. But he’d heard about the Warren-skinning incident and, though she had shown no homicidal tendencies since then, he knew better than to piss off a witch of Willow’s apparent itieities.
Satisfied that she’d made her point, she started up the car again. “You gonna tell me about this or what?” she continued in a demure voice.
“Like I said, it’s too soon.” He darted a quick peek but she didn’t seem annoyed. He looked down at his hands and decided it might be good to sound her out. “You said he’s not complaining about me. Has he said anything else?”
“Nice try. But I want to know about your end of the emotional seesaw, not his.”
“I-I honestly can’t tell, Red. Xander’s a good bloke and he’s put up with a hell of a lot more from me and the Slayer than anybody should. He’s good people, ya know? Of course you do, you and him being pals and all that. But he’s been good to me before and after this little sea change,” waving his hand up and down his body to indicate what he meant. “I just don’t know if this being a femme has brought out something between us or just given it a new spin.”
“So don’t you think you should go back to being a guy…just so you’ll know for sure?”
Yeah, that was a reasonable idea. But Spike didn’t want to be reasonable. He wanted to hang onto the little he had with Xander, whether it was based on realistic expectations or not. That was stupid thinking, of course; it was exactly what he’d tried to do with the Slayer once the relationship had withered into dust and look where that had gotten him.
He gave Willow a pleading look. “I can’t let this go yet, Red. I just need a little time.” He pulled himself up short. There was no need giving away too much to the witch. That simply wasn’t his style. So he settled back into a joking mood. “Besides, switching sexes has been a right bit of fun; it’s not the sort of experience that comes along in everybody’s lifetime. Face it, haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to be a bloke?”
Her incredulous stare told him the idea had never crossed her mind. “Are you telling me you had wishes about being a girl, Spike? Because I’m so not buying it.”
He shrugged, noncommittal. Willow certainly didn’t need to know how Drusilla had insisted on making him play dress up so she could hold a tea party with him, Miss Edith and her many dolly friends. Playing the girl wasn’t new for him--only being one was.
__________
Xander waited impatiently inside the Bronze. He’d ordered a beer and then another. He couldn’t remember being this anxious about meeting a girl since his early dates with Anya when she would keep babbling about her numerous cruelties towards men. In retrospect, his mind boggled at how he could have overcome that initial hurdle to continue dating her, sleeping with her and, ultimately, falling in love.
“Room for two more, Xander?” The well-known teasing voice of Willow came from his right and he looked up and grinned at her. Anything he might have said in reply faded away at the sight next to her.
Spike was wearing a tight, red blouse with a low-cut rounded neckline. After strenuous argument, Willow had convinced him to wear the pushup bra she’d picked out. It made his breasts stand up and stick out jauntily and Xander’s eyes shot straight to them just as she’d predicted. Then his gaze wandered down to the shiny skirt Spike was wearing.
After experimenting with tight ones and deciding they made him wobble a bit too much for his own good, Spike had settled for one that was a little looser. It had a slit up the side and flared out from his hips down to his knees. Ankle high boots topped off the whole ensemble. They were a more ladylike version of the Doc Martens he normally wore but close enough to make him feel comfortable. Spike thought he could get used to this.
But he was uncharacteristically anxious to win Xander’s approval and the man’s silence was bewildering. “Oy, Xand! What’s with the fish act? Gaping like that is Red’s shtick.”
“Guh…I mean, hotchy motchy! That is a great outfit, Spike. You are the hottest thing in the joint and, considering that you’re only room temperature, that’s saying something.”
Willow wound her arm around Spike’s waist and squeezed. “See, I told you he’d like it. Now why don’t you go get us a couple of drinks from the bar?”
Spike scowled at her as Willow settled in beside Xander. “Why do I have to get drinks? I ain’t no bleedin’ busboy.”
“So Xander can watch you when you walk to the bar and back again, silly.” Willow grinned, then giggled at the expressions on their faces and waved Spike away. Taking up his cue, Spike turned and flounced away to the bar.
Willow and Xander watched that cute little butt wriggling under the skirt and then turned to each other at the same time. Realizing where the other’s eyes had been fastened, they burst out laughing. “Well, I guess this is another thing we’ll get to share, huh, Xander?”
“Hey, no sharing! Spike and I have just started, uh, you know.” He paused for a moment. “On the other hand, sharing has got a lot of potential. We talking threesomes or just the two of you while I watch?”
She smacked his arm so that he yelped. “So not what I meant. Get your mind out of the gutter. I was talking about girl watching. Who would have thought we’d both be doing it and for the same reasons?”
“You mean you’re thinking about getting freaky with Spike, too? Then we’re definitely on the same page.”
Willow puffed out her lips in derision. Then she got a speculative look in her eye. “Oh, you’ve been having sex with Spike? Yeah, I got that in the car.”
“I didn’t say that! Spike was talking about…? Uh, what did he say exactly?” Xander took a quick sip of his beer and tried to look casual. But Spike was a lot better at that than he was.
Willow tilted her head as she pretended to think. “He says he wants to know if there’s really anything between the two of you--more than the sex, I suppose.” She’d seen the “just got laid” expression on her bestest buddy way too often not to recognize it. The shock on Xander’s face told her she’d been right on the mark.
“Anything besides…” He took some more beer and used it as a chance to think. “I’m not sure. Spike is--well, Spike. But before today we’d gotten kinda close. It wasn’t just the boobs instead of man parts that did it. It’s more than that.”
“Like what?”
He cast his eyes down and spread his hands helplessly. “It’s like most of the time he’s with the gang he has to keep up this pose as an asshole. He has to maintain his reputation for being a tough guy. But when he’s alone and not trying so hard--”
“--He’s different,” she concluded. She thought for a moment. “Was Anya like that, too? Different when she was with you?”
“Yeah. I know she was a bit too--”
“--Much like Cordelia?” Willow said with a bright smile.
He didn’t miss the snide tone accompanying the syrupy expression. “I was going to say defensive. She didn’t really get to play too much with humans as a demon so fitting in is hard for her sometimes. Spike’s got that problem, too.”
“Except that I think Spike used to spend some time trying to fit in with people. You know, to convince them he was a good person just before he ripped out their throats. Come to think of it, Anya must have done that, too, back in her bad old days, to trick people into making wishes. Goodness knows she wasn’t telling me the truth when she tried to use me to get her amulet back.”
Xander was quick to brush over that past unpleasantness. “I wonder where Spike is with those drinks?”
__________
Spike was having unaccustomed trouble getting to the bar. When he was a male, a few icy stares had been enough to clear the path. But it seemed cold looks didn’t work so well in the body he was wearing. At that point, he switched to sunny smiles and coy winks. That worked quicker though not without a pinch or two at his arse. He resisted the urge to growl at the imposition and finally bellied up to the bar. “Two beers and a Diet Coke.”
“Sure thing, cutie.” The bartender winked.
The vampire contented himself with smiling back and paid for the drinks. As he turned he was jostled by somebody and scowled. “Watch it, you!”
The woman turned towards him and raised her eyebrows. “Sorry.”
Spike gaped and almost dropped his drinks. “Sl--Buffy?”
Buffy was confused. Who was this strange woman and why was she staring at her like she’d just seen a ghost? “Yeah. Do I know you?”
“Uh.” Shit, she’d taken Spike by surprise. But the vampire was nothing if quick on his feet. “Yeah. Well, no. But I know you. Kinda.”
Buffy was getting a strange look on her face--the one she got when she was trying to sort things out and her mind wasn’t quite up to the job. Spike would have thought this was cute but he knew what she was sensing and he was desperate to get away from her.
“Really. Because I have a rep among your kind, don’t I?” she said with a deadly smile.
Crap. She’d sensed that Spike was a vampire even though she didn’t know which vampire. He’d combed his hair forward so that the telltale scar in his left eyebrow didn’t show but that might not have been such a good idea. Spike didn’t know whether he should tell her the truth and hope she bought it before she staked him or bluff his way out. He decided on the latter option; after all, they were in a public place. She couldn’t exactly dust him in front of so many people, could she?
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m a friend of Xander’s and he’s got lots of pictures of you. He talks about you a lot. He’s crazy about you--I mean, in a friendly ‘she’s a great gal if a little crazy’ kind of way.”
Now Buffy appeared slightly unsure; the mention of Xander’s name appeared to have thrown her. “Xander? You know Xander?” She tried to sort this out and then something hit her. “He thinks I’m crazy?”
“Well, he questions your tastes in boyfriends but he’s had some poor luck with women so he kids. He kids because he loves.” Spike followed this up with a perky smile even as he tried to edge away from her.
“Oh. That’s…nice, I guess.” She paused and then sized the woman up with a laser beam glare. “All the more reason to kill you. The last thing Xander needs is another demonic girlfriend.
He wasn’t sure what Buffy was going to pull but it wouldn’t be pretty. “Look, Buffy, you don’t understand. It’s not what you think it is…”
“Oh, you’re not trying to get toothy with one of my best friends? Just going to feed him to your minions?”
Spike held the drinks up in self-defense. “I’m getting him drinks! He’s right over there and he can explain everything.”
“Good. I’m so looking forward to hearing it.”
The Slayer stalked over to the table, keeping the vampire in sight at all times lest she try escaping. She was just in time to hear, “No, Xander, I’m not thinking about it. Just because I notice girly parts doesn’t mean I’m looking for action. It’s too soon after, you know.”
“But you were definitely checking him out! You’re saying you’re not a little tempted?”
“You’ve been around Anya too much. She’s corrupted your delicate little mind.”
Buffy was momentarily sidetracked from the mysterious woman by her side. “Checking who out? Willow, are you into guys again? Because somebody left me out of the loop on this.” When a stunned silence met her, she looked between her two best friends. “What? Do I have something in my teeth?”
“Buffy!” Xander squeaked. “I didn’t expect--you know, I thought you might be on patrol.”
“Naw. Patrol’s dead tonight…or deader than usual what with lack of vampire dustage. So what’s the haps? Why are you talking about Willow checking out a ‘him’ and who’s the him?
“You must have made a mistake, Buffy. I said ‘her’ not him and I was talking about my new girlfriend here.”
“That would be me,” Spike replied, sliding in beside the two Scoobies.
Buffy’s eyes narrowed. “Xander, I hate to break it to you but in the dating casino that is life, you’ve crapped out again. This woman is a vampire.”
“She is? Oh golly, Xander, that’s so freaky! Buffy, are you sure?” Willow rattled off in a clear attempt to stall for time.
Buffy had been witness to too many awkward Willow moments to be taken in. “Willow, what do you know about this?”
“Me? Nothing? This is…I mean I just got here with Xander and his girlfriend, S--I don’t know anything, I swear.”
“Bloody hell. Give it up, Red. You’re a rotten liar,” Spike muttered in disgust. He turned to Buffy. “Hello, Slayer. Guess who’s joined the Panty Brigade?”
At the familiar nickname, the blonde woman confronting them blinked and then took a good long look at the “woman” smirking at her. “Spike?”
“The very same, luv. One of the witch’s spells went awry and suddenly I’m minus my dangly bits.”
Buffy gaped and looked slowly between Spike and the other people at the table with him. Xander and Willow shrugged in confirmation of her silent inquiry. Then she did something none of them expected.
She threw back her head and laughed.
The laughter was loud and prolonged. They hadn’t heard anything like it from Buffy in months. In fact, Willow and Xander couldn’t remember the last time they’d heard her laugh. When it spiraled upwards and became tinged with hysteria, Spike mumbled, “Hell, I think I broke her, Xander.”
Xander attempted to ease everybody’s fears. “Forget that, Spike. The Buffster’s just a little shook up. Ain’t that right, Buffy?”
The laughter died down to a giggle and finally to an undignified snort. “Oh man! I don’t believe it! Like Spike doesn’t have enough problems.”
The vampire wasn’t sure how to take that but it sounded like an insult. “‘Ere, hang on a minute. This isn’t a problem for me, Slayer. I’m handling it just fine.”
“Uh huh. You’re telling me losing your ‘dangly bits’ as you call them was a dream come true for you, is that it? Guess that explains some things.” She looked him up and down knowingly.
He scowled even though Buffy was unimpressed by the expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Maybe you’ll get on better with men now than you have the women in your life.”
“Look who’s talking! Your sex life hasn’t exactly been a raging success, has it, Slayer?” Spike shot back.
“Not judging from my last pathetic attempt, it hasn’t. But at least now I know why.”
Xander decided it was a good idea to jump in at this point. “Much as I’d love to see you two ladies in a catfight, I came here to relax. Spike, wanna dance?” Before the vampire could answer one way or the other, Xander dragged him up by the arm onto the dance floor.
Buffy watched in amusement as Xander attempted to meld his energetic efforts with Spike’s more sinuous dance style. She turned back to Willow to see the wiccan was eyeing her anxiously. “So how did this happen, Will? Spike mentioned something about one of your spells going screwy.”
The redhead bit her lip before fumbling with an explanation. “Y-yeah. It’s kinda a bit of fallout from the whole R.J. mess. I wanted him and Anya said something about turning him into a girl and I made a spell calling out to Hecate only it was attached to R.J.’s jacket and Spike put it on instead and now we’ve got--”
“Spikina.” Buffy concluded. She chuckled again at the nickname. “Any chance of reversing it?”
“Sure. I told that to Xander and Spike earlier. All they have to do is burn the jacket and poof! Spike’s back in Boytown.”
“So why is he on the dance floor high steppin’ it in heels instead of getting muy macho again?”
Willow fiddled with her drink as she tried to decide whether she should tell Buffy or not. But she’d been hurt by Buffy keeping her affair with Spike a secret and she didn’t want to do that to her best girlfriend. Still, it was more Xander’s secret than hers. Was it right of her to tell? “I-I’m not sure.”
“Oh my god. Is that Xander’s hand on Spike’s butt?” Buffy goggled. The song had changed to a slow one and Spike and Xander were wrapped up in each other’s arms, apparently unnoticing of the crowd around them. The larger man’s hands were indeed resting on Spike’s plump adorable behind--not that the vampire seemed to mind.
“It is? It is but it’s not what you’re thinking, Buffy.”
“What I’m thinking is that Xander and Spike have gotten a lot cozier than I would have thought. Look at that: love on the Hellmouth.” Buffy faked wiping a tear away and took a quick sip of Willow’s drink.
“Love! No, it’s not love. There’s no lovin’ going on.”
“Riiiiiight. So Xander’s getting in quality gropeage because…” Buffy trailed off as she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Willow’s answer.
“You know Xander likes girls and Spike’s a girl with breasts, nipples and, and, other assorted girl parts. It’s a whole girl package!” Willow got defensive in the face of Buffy’s knowing stare. “Heck, he went and had sex with Anya and she killed people for 1100 years!”
“Yeah, but Xander didn’t hate Anya before that. He’s always hated Spike or so he claimed. It would take more than a goofy spell to change that. So ‘fess up, Willow. What exactly is going on here?”
__________
Xander hadn’t wanted a slow dance. He was all too aware of Buffy sitting close to the dance floor. But Spike had insisted and, as usual, Spike got his way. “C’mon, pet. It’s like cuddling that you can do upright.”
“Spike, Buffy’s sitting nearby. Aren’t you worried that, uh, she might get a tad upset?”
“What if she does? Me and the Slayer aren’t together any more and I don’t see how she can have a problem with this.”
“Not have a problem with this? Geez, she seemed pretty upset when you slept with Anya last year. So was I, come to think of it.” The memory made Xander stop dancing and frown a little.
Spike spoke quickly before he could dwell too much on the past. “Nah, she was just upset at being replaced so quickly, is all. More hurt pride than anything else, really.”
“Couldn’t have made her feel any better to see you doing it with one of her friends, either.” Xander responded, his tone rather cool.
Damn, the good mood was disappearing and just when he was feeling happy, too. “Look, Xand. I admit it wasn’t the smartest move on my part, taking up with your bird. But both of us were hurting because our loved ones had crushed our hearts. It was just…solace, that’s all.”
“I guess I can relate to that. After Anya left and took all her stuff, I felt like Steve Martin in The Lonely Guy.” Xander sighed and drew Spike close to his body again. His hand drifted down to caress Spike’s butt.
The vampire shut his eyes and purred. Xander wasn’t grabbing him, just giving nice strokes, and it felt really good like everything the lad did. He rotated his butt under those warm fingers, getting to touch every part of his curves. Spike pressed closer as he grew moist from the friction. He was getting horny again and, if Xander didn’t do something about it soon, he was going to take the mortal right there on the dance floor.
All too soon the song was over and they broke apart reluctantly and headed back to the table. Willow and Buffy were talking together in excited whispers and breaking into giddy laughter every now and then.
Xander stared at them with trepidation. “It always makes me nervous when women whisper like that.”
Spike shrugged. “They’re probably just comparing notes about you and wondering what you and me get up to when we’re alone. Wonder if Willow told her we’ve started shagging?”
“What?!” It was one thing to have Willow know that he was getting groiny with Spike. He wasn’t sure he wanted to let Buffy in on the secret so soon.
Buffy and Willow turned to the two with identical smiles and waved them back. “Hey, we ordered some more drinks for you two. So, Spike. Willow tells me you’re going to be a girl for a month. Want to tell what put that decision in your bleached skull?”
“R.J.’s jacket. Xander put it on and, before we knew it, we were shagging on the couch.”
Buffy’s eyes took on a decidedly glazed expression. “And I thought we had an end to the cringe-inducing sex talk when Anya took off.”
Willow managed to swallow her mouthful of soda and dabbed at her lips. “Yep, sounds like those awful days are back again.”
“What’s the matter, Red? Feelin’ left out? Maybe I can do something about that.” Spike leered good-naturedly while Willow rolled her eyes.
“Sorry, Spike. But now that I know it’s you underneath it all, the thrill is gone.”
Buffy mused out loud. “Spike…you know, I’m thinking you’re going to have to get a new name now. Xander can’t keep calling you Spike in public. It’ll sound kinda weird.”
“How about Betty?” Willow said. At their skeptical looks, she elaborated, “You know. Big Bad. Bed. Betty.”
“Forget that. It sounds too much like Veronica’s mousy friend,” Spike snorted.
Xander gaped. “Hold the phone there, pal. Are you telling me you read Archie comics?”
The vampire was immediately on the defensive. “What? Hell no. I would see ‘em on the racks sometimes, is all. Me, I’m a Vampirella comic lover.”
“Vampirella? I’d have thought a cheap vampire rip-off wouldn’t exactly do it for you, Betty,” Buffy grinned.
“It’s not that, Slayer. It’s that sexy outfit she’s got on that barely covers her tits and crotch. Gotta love that kinda fashion sense in a bird, whether she’s a vampire or a woman.”
“Ah yes, I remember. Many a pimply-faced teenage boy with dreams of losing his virginity cuddled up with that buxom symbol of seduction. Not that I was ever one of them, mind you,” Xander said hastily.
Willow was quick to back him up. “Yeah. You were always a Wonder Woman fan. Something about being tied up with that golden lariat…” she mused.
“That’s enough, Willow. No need to go dredging up silly childhood memories. We were trying to decide on a name for Bet--I mean, Spike here.” Xander paused and then said timidly, “I was leaning towards Mina myself.”
“Mina? You taking Bram Stoker as inspiration, are ya?”
Xander was surprised; he’d thought Spike would get his idea right away. “No, Spike. It’s just your guy name is William and the female version is Wilhemina only that’s too…”
“Fruity?” Willow interjected.
“Stuffy?” Buffy chimed in.
“I was going to say dumb and ugly sounding. Mina is a nice short version of that. What do you think, Spike?”
The vampire sat for a moment as he tried out the moniker. “Mina.” He let it roll slowly off his tongue and then leaned his head on his hand, watching the brunette man beside him. He tried to imagine Xander saying it, crying it out in the middle of sex. He could see it now: that handsome face flushed with blood, the mouth hanging open on that final vowel syllable while Spike thrust his tongue between those wet, parted lips.
He smiled and a deep gleam lit up his blue eyes. “Mina. Yeah. I like it, pet. Seems like we’ve got a winner.”
“Mina it is, then.” Xander raised his bottle in a toast. “Let’s hear it for Mina.”
The others lifted their drinks and clinked them together. Suddenly Spike’s stomach gave off a loud growl. “Whoops. I think I’m gonna need something more solid than beer, mates. Haven’t had a bit of the old plasma in a while.”
Xander took one long pull from his beer and set it down with a clunk. “Right. We’re gonna stop at the all-night butcher’s then. See you tomorrow, ladies.”
Willow waved them off and called after Spike. “I’ve got the other stuff in the trunk. You can come by tomorrow and pick them up from Buffy’s.”
Xander wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. “Other stuff? Just how many things did you buy, Spike?”
“Just a little bit of this and that. You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t ya, Xand?” Spike winked at him and pinched him on the arse, causing Xander to jump and the two women to giggle again.
__________
The walk to the butcher’s was uneventful. So much so that Spike found himself getting antsy. He was glad when two vampires loomed out of an alley in front of them. “Well, look what we’ve got here, Wallace. A vamp and her walking blood bank.”
“See, I told you it was a good idea staking out this spot. Lots of barcrawlers coming through this way, Lou,” the other vampire said, licking his chops.
“Get your own meals, boys. This one’s mine,” Spike growled, the warning clear in his voice.
“C’mon, baby, don’t be like that. Nothing wrong with sharing. Then afterwards we can share something else, if you know what I mean,” Lou said, his tone suggestive as his eyes zeroed in on Spike’s tits.
The peroxide female crossed her arms and looked them up and down in disdain. “Share what? Bad body odor? You’re both a bit too ripe for my liking. When’s the last time either of you two sods took a bath? Just because you’re one of the undead doesn’t mean you gotta smell like piss, dirt and shit, does it?”
Wallace was clearly bored with this exchange. He only had eyes for the human who was backing up and reaching for his back pocket. “Forget her, Lou. Get the guy.”
Lou charged towards Xander only to be met with a solid punch to the face. It barely slowed him down but in the next instant a blow to his torso rocked him back. He looked down to see the man’s fist clenched around a punch of wood sticking out of his chest. “What the…?” Seconds later he exploded into powder.
“Lou!” Ignoring Spike, Wallace barreled into the mortal, bearing him to the ground. He had Xander’s arms pinned to the ground before the brunette could move. Snarling, he said, “That was my sire, you sack of shit!”
“No loss there,” Spike said. He’d picked up the stake after it flew from Xander’s hand and pushed it in one sharp move through Wallace’s chest. He handed the wood back to Xander as the demon disintegrated.
Xander got up, coughing and wheezing from the vampire dust that had flown into his sinuses. Spike gazed at him with concern, checking his neck. “You alright, pet?”
“Yeah, though I’m parched and dry all over again. Still it beats demon slime.” He brushed off the dust while Spike stood to the side. Xander glanced up at him. “And how come you weren’t carrying a stake? I could have gotten bit while you were picking up mine.”
What a silly question. “Where the hell could I have carried them in this outfit?” Spike gestured indignantly at his clothes.
Xander pointed to the footwear. “You could put stakes in your books. That’s where Buffy sometimes carries hers.”
Spike glanced down. “Oh yeah. Didn’t think of that.” He looked up to see Xander once again eyeing the sexy ensemble and got an idea. He was still keyed up from the groping in the Bronze and now he was even more excited by the fight, brief as it was. He grabbed Xander and pulled him into a nearby alley.
The bold move startled the human. “Spike? What are you…?”
The vampire gave him a hot kiss. “Call me Mina, pet. I’m a little fired up from the fight. Thought maybe you could help me with that.”
He wanted to do it here? “Sp--Mina, that’s not such a good idea. You heard what that vamp said. They thought it was a good idea to hang out around here. Gotta think other vamps might get the same notion.”
“Not sensing any other vamps. I’ll let you know if any come around. Now come on. Once we get the blood, we’ll really attract the bloodsuckers and we’ll have to put this off until later.” He unzipped the jeans and tugged down the elastic of Xander’s white undies to lay his cool hand on the waiting cock. Immediately it began to stir and shortly was standing tall and at attention in his fist.
It was amazing how the vampire could get him so turned on with the barest touch. The man groaned and clutched the vampire so that the firm breasts were crushed against his chest. “Mina. D-don’t stop.”
“Want you, Xand,” Spike replied in a hoarse whisper. Then he spread his legs as Xander pushed aside the slit and thrust his hand between the tender thighs. Spike was grateful he hadn’t worn the panties. He’d hoped for something like this and they would have only gotten in the way. He moaned as Xander’s fingers found his cunt and stroked the slit in tandem with his own motions.
Spike rubbed all along the weeping tip even as Xander brushed the nub and then sank two large fingers into his pussy. They twisted inside as the clitoris was flicked skillfully and Spike was soon panting, shaking and writhing hard in the man’s three-fingered grip. He gave the leaking prick a few more tugs and then lifted one leg in a silent signal.
Taking the hint, Xander grabbed that delectable ass and maneuvered the demon onto his aching cock. They waited a moment to settle his weight and then Xander began to move.
God, Spike was already so slick and wet. He’d never known a woman except Faith to get so turned on by fighting. Was this what it was like for Buffy? Is that why she turned to Spike? Uh uh. No Buffy thoughts now. That way lay badness.
The deep slurping noises got louder as the blond bounced on his cock. Spike wound his legs tighter and slammed his body hard on each downward lunge.
Spike was helping him this time and that freed one of the brunette’s hands to push down the top of the low-necked blouse. A little fumbling and he found the bra’s front snap. A juicy breast popped out and Xander held it up in his hand. He immediately began worrying it with his teeth, licking and sucking the jutting nipple whenever it got within reach of his mouth.
He could hear the subterranean growls from the body riding him, feel it in the vibrations against his skin. From the wan light that reached into the alley, Xander saw the pale skin and amber eyes glinting. The fangs flashed and the tips grazed his throat.
Was Spike gonna bite him? Evidently not, although an accompanying whimper told how much the vampire craved his blood.
Maybe the demon was frustrated but Xander knew what else got him going. He gripped the breast again and heard the vampire’s encouraging gasp. One brutal bite on the diamond-tipped nub and salty liquid began to flow into his mouth.
“Shit, thassit, Xand. Give it to me hard harder oh fuck me yeah that’s what I want.” A litany of curse words and passionate sighs ripped past Xander’s ears. He stumbled forward as Spike’s movements went out of control so that his burden slammed up against the brick wall opposite.
He tongued and pulled hard at the breast as if the fluid of life itself were flowing into his mouth. Was this what sucking blood felt like to vampires? It wasn’t disgusting at all although Xander wasn’t sure if that was because of the sex or the demon screaming in pleasure or the fact that it was Spike. He rasped his tongue across the swollen, bleeding aureole and Spike shivered in response, his supple thighs almost crushing the man in their grip.
His breast ached deliciously, pushing against Xander’s lips, as Spike climaxed repeatedly. Xander was a wet dream come true. He was a lover and a fighter. He’d abandoned himself to the moment after only a brief hesitation and seemed to know exactly what Spike would want.
But it wouldn’t do for the mortal to take his blood; Xander didn’t know what it would do to him. In the haze of lust surrounding him, Spike retained enough presence of mind to pull the brunette away from the tasty offering although it was almost more than he could bear. “Don’t…overdo, pet. Too much of that stuff ain’t…good for ya.”
Xander was averse to leaving the treat. But he did as Spike requested even as he continued to thrust him up against the wall. “Good, so good, Mina,” he gasped out. He swiveled his hips and he forced himself deeper into the seeping passage. He could feel the juices oozing around his prick; Spike was in the throes of orgasm and showed no signs of quitting. Denied the salty nectar from the bite, Xander caught the nipple and squeezed it in his thumb and forefinger so the blood flowed like milk.
“XAAAANNNNDERRRR!!” Spike wailed and bucked hard between the man shagging him and the unyielding wall bracing his back. His skirt had ridden up and the bricks were scraping his arse but he didn’t care. The scent of his own blood mingled with the man’s sweat slicking under his clawing hands was intoxicating. The combination was making him fucking insane and he came nce more, his cunt gripping the solid staff in continuous seismic ripples.
The orgasm that had been hovering just out of reach slammed into him and at last Xander came in volcanic gushes that splashed until Spike thought it would cum out his ears. The man continued thrusting almost mindlessly for several seconds until he sagged, completely spent, pinning Spike against the wall. His warm breath tickled Spike’s neck as his lungs heaved with every gasp of air he took.
He clasped Spike tenderly in his arms as if unwilling to move from him. “Minaminaminaminamina,” he crooned as if he’d forgotten every other word in the world.
“Xander,” Spike moaned. He loved the name Xander had given him; the way the mortal said it as if he were something precious made the sordidness of their locale disappear. It was like nothing in the world existed except each other.
He grasped the firm chin in his hand and brought the sweet lips down to his in a bloody kiss. The mortal was still gasping and trembling in the aftermath of his orgasm; Spike had to retreat a little to let him breathe but he brought himself back again and again. He couldn’t get enough of that full mouth.
Xander indulged the demon in the kisses before pushing him back gently. He busied himself with smoothing down the skirt and then tucking his softened cock back inside his pants. He caught Spike’s hand and whispered, “Want to get that blood now?”
Spike traced Xander’s lips and caught a speck of blood on his forefinger. He brought it to his mouth and licked it sensually off the tip. “Mmmmm. Seems almost an anticlimax now if you get my drift, Xand.”
“But seeing as I’m the one who got the blood deposit, I’m thinking you still need to get yours.”
Spike gave Xander his trademark smirk, still oddly his and yet so changed on his new face. “Already got mine. But the night’s young. I intend to get it a few more times ‘fore we’re done.”
They wandered down the street, their hands on each other’s asses, exchanging kisses and whispering inaudibly. To the casual viewer, they looked like nothing more than a guy and his gal out for an evening stroll. Only the deeply satisfied purring from the female and the two piles of ashes blowing in the wind would have indicated differently.

TBC
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