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Once Bitten, Twice Shy	By : tjgoldstein Category: > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 2168 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Once Bitten, Twice Shy 4/16

Tuesday, 15 August 2000

9:18 pm

"Okay, Spike, we're home now. Come on, you have to get out of the car," said Xander, slightly exasperated, as he held the passenger door open for Spike, waiting for the still panting vampire to move. Never mind the fact that he had been waiting for Spike to do *something* other than just shake for over five minutes now. "I'm here and nothing is going to happen with me right beside you."

Xander stood beside the car, quietly watching as Spike gave a shaky sigh in response to Xander's words. A minute passed, another and yet another minute before Spike slowly undid his seatbelt, glancing up at Xander, nodding so slightly that Xander wasn't even sure he saw it. He stepped back a pace, allowing Spike room to slide from the front seat and to his feet. In a gentle motion, Xander soothingly rubbed Spike's back, guiding them both into the apartment complex and to their front door; Spike plastered to his side all the way up the four flights of stairs to their floor. Door unlocked, Xander gently ushered the vampire through and over to the couch. "Just sit down...relax, and take it easy while I get the groceries in, OK?"

"That's it, sit... destroy yet another shirt hem and everything will be fine while I'm down at the car, all right?" A few more placatory words and Spike was settled on the couch, the vampire's harsh panting filling the otherwise silent living room. With a glance backwards at the stiffly sitting figure on the worn out couch, Xander shook his head. Naahhh, Spike wasn't going anywhere. Poor bastard was too terrified of what had happened back in the supermarket car park. And with the question of what *had* happened to Spike in mind, Xander made sure to lock the front door behind him. Giving the door a quick jiggle to make sure the deadbolt had snibbed properly, Xander raced down the stairs and into the underground car park.

Xander wrestled with the trunk lid, swearing as it flew up, barely a half inch smacking him under the chin. Bags gathered up in both hands, Xander managed to nudge the trunk lid halfway down with his chin before raising a straining hand to slam it shut. Hoping and praying that none of the overly full plastic bags would split before he reached the apartment, Xander bounded up the rs ars as fast as he could, grimacing each time the sharp edges of numerous boxes jabbed into the sides of his legs. Striding down the corridor to his apartment, Xander's thoughts were focused on what Spike was going to tell him once the vampire had calmed down.

Bags placed on the floor so that he could get out the front door key, Xander chewed his bottom lip for a brief moment before raising a hand and knocking on the front door. "Spike. It's me, Xander. I'm back and... ummm, just... just gonna unlock the door and come in so don't, like, totally freak, okay?"

As stupid as he felt knocking on his own front door, he knew that there was a good chance Spike was already in his 'secure' hidey hole, under the bed. With that in mind, Xander didn't want to frighten the vampire any more than he already was. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the front door, slowly pushing it open to reveal Spike still sitting on the couch. Eyes raised briefly towards the ceiling in relief even as Xander noted that Spike was sobbing so hard he was hiccuping every few seconds, Xander brought the groceries in before locking the door behind him.

The sound of the safety chain being slid into place broke through Spike's worry over *how* to tell Xander who had assaulted him in the crypt the year before. Spike turned his tear streaked face towards Xander, sagging heavily into the couch, wondering if Xander would even believe him. Spike let his gaze follow Xander as the youth literally threw the groceries into whatever cupboard they would fit, his chest starting to ache from the severity of his hiccups. Every now and again, S wip wiped at his tears. He just wouldn't be able to cope if Xander started yelling at him to stop the crying.

~ Please believe me, Pet... I swear... I swear on me slag of a mother's grave... it's true.~

He watched Xander fill a glass of water, nodding and hiccuping when Xander asked if he wanted one. With a shaky hand, he reached up and took the proffered glass as Xander came to sit next to him a deep hiccup that he hoped was his last and Spike took a mouthful of the wat water. A hasty gulp saw the water spluttering down his chin, forcing Spike to slow down as he wiped at his chin and neck. As he sipped the water, Spike tried to relax himself, concentrating on breathing evenly. Ridiculous really, as he was a vampire and didn't need to breathe, but as he had found over the past year, it was something that helped when he was nervous or frightened enough to start shaking. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. In and out, in and out. Unconsciously, he continued to fiddle with his shirt hem. Wiping a hand across his eyes, Spike leaned down and placed the empty glass at his feet.

With a watery sniffle, he gave Xander an empty smile as his Claimant slid an arm around his shoulders, encouraging Spike to nestle into Xander's side. The vampire sighed, giving one final hiccup as Xander lightly stroked a finger along the rim of Spike's ear. Five minutes... ten...fifteen, over half an hour passed as the two of them sat quietly, Spike's slowly dissipating panting the only sound filling the apartment.

Xander glanced down at the slender figure hugged against him, noting that Spike had stopped panting, instead, breathing every now and again. He knew from past experience that it was as calm as Spike was going to get when he was this distressed or upset. Angling his head a little more, Xander saw that Spike was no longer crying; indeed, Spike hadn't rubbed at his face for a good five minutes. Steeling himself for the floodgates to open again, he ventured to speak. "So?"

Spike shuddered, whining at the question. He really didn't want to tell Xander but he knew that if he didn't, his attackers were simply going to do what they liked to him. And without consequences because, up until now, Spike had refused to say who had done him over. Before, it hadn't been in his best interests to name who had beaten and raped him. But now, Spike was Xander's Adored; the youth holding total sway over every aspect of Spike's life. His Claimant was the only one with the right to decide Spike's immediate future; any threat to Spike was a threat to Xander. So, with a ragged sigh, Spike knew that he was duty bound to tell Xander about the threat against him, because he was terrified of what the ex-soldiers had said about grabbing him again.

~ They’re gonna kill me this time Harr- ... Xander. Jesus, I... I ju-... I jus' want this over with. ~

He didn't want to move from the warm comfort of Xander's close presence; nevertheless, Spike shifted in his seat, moving to the far side of the couch even as he reached into his back pocket for his small notebook. Lifting one corner of the sofa cushion, Spike plucked out one of the numerous pens that always managed to migrate underneath the dark blue cushion. Looking briefly at Xander as the question was repeated, Spike flipped to a fresh page, writing down four names and one question mark. His hand trembling, Spike handed it to Xander and waited.

~ I'm scared. ~

Staring at the floor as he waited for Xander to say something... do something, Spike rolled his shirt hem updown, updown, updown. Was Xander going to attack him... give him a right royal slapping for accusing Riley and the rest of his arsehole mates of such things?

Silence.

Would Xander believe Spike, telling him that everything was going to be okay?

Silence.

Or, Spike swallowed roughly, or would Xander just kick him out for daring to try and stir up trouble?

Silence.

Not daring to even look towards Xander, Spike waited, convinced that it was only the calm before the inevitable Xander hissy fit.

Silence.

"Uhhhh, what the *hell* does this mean?" Xander spoke quietly but firmly, not quite sure what Spike was trying to tell him. Xander had a really bad feeling that he wasn't going to like what else Spike was going to reveal to him. Tapping at the names Spike had written down, Xander gestured for Spike to tell him some more.

~ Those bastards, they're coming for me again. Safe here, safe with you... please? ~

Still not looking at Xander, Spike pointed at the notebook and then pointed to himself repeating the gesture a few times before letting his hands drop into his lap.

Frowning, Xander coughed before allowing a small smile to develop. This could not be real, and with a disbelieving shake of his head, Xander wondered what was going on in Spike's head for the vampire to come out with such bullshit. "So, you're telling me that Riley, Graham, Corey, Martinez and a question mark did you over that night?"

Spike nodded, dry retching as he curled into a tight ball, pressing his face into the arm of the couch. A moment later, muffled sobs came from him, shoulders shaking as he cried. Spike couldn't help but shriek in fright as Xander leapt to his feet. Instantly, Spike wrapped his arms around his head, instinctively protecting his face. When, after a moment or two, the expected attack didn't come, Spike peeked from between his fingers and watched as Xander paced up and down in front of the couch.

"Right, let me get this straight. Buffy's *boyfriend*, who might I just mention is a friend of mine and a fellow Scooby, someone that I've had over here... in *my* apartment, he and his friends are the ones who decided to fuck you over?" Xander stared at Spike as the vampire nodded again, stunned at what Spike was implying. Surely Riley would never do such a thing... would he? Riley was one of the good guys. And Graham, Xander had known Graham for as long as he had known Riley. Sure, not as well as Riley, obviously, but still... what Spike was saying... As for the others, Xander only knew them enough to nod hello to them whenever they saw each other but the question mark... who? Spike *had* to be making it up...there was just no way it had happened. Spike was a liar, through and through. Every vampire was a liar, not to mention every demon species Xander had ever come across. Spike couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it...

And that's when it hit him. That was it. Spike was telling the truth. His life *did* depend upon it. There was no way Spike would be so upset and obviously plain distressed if it didn't. Xander thought back to the last time he had seen Riley and Spike together, realising that he had only ever seen Spike *move away* from the taller blond. Never was Spike within a few yards of Riley; he was always out of arm's reach. In fact, Xander had often noticed that Spike would move to the other side of the room whenever Riley made an appearance, getting as far away as possible. Even though Xander had often witnessed Spike doing it, Xander just hadn't given a shit. After all, Spike did the same thing with Buffy, especially after the crypt incident. It had just been nothing to worry about and after a few weeks, it hadn't been out of the ordinary.

Now, Xander knew why Spike had looked like he had been about to faint the first time Riley had come to the apartment. God, Xander had honestly thought Spike was about to be sick; the vampire's face had gone grey as Riley had stepped through the doorway. And Xander could understand why Spike had stood and stared at the floor, holding onto the TV unit for support as he had swayed on his feet. Xander had been about to tell him to sit down when Spike had just turned and stumbled into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Xander had shrugged and ignored Spike, instead, turning his mind to enjoying the beer Riley had brought around with him while they both watched the basketball game on TV. And *that's* why it had been so hard to calm Spike down once Riley had left.

Xander laughed to himself; he just couldn't believe that anyone he knew would even think about doing what had happened to Spike, let alone actually carrying it out. It was just... just all too weird right now. Wearily, Xander rubbed his hands across his face. At least he knew why Spike had cried his eyes out each time he had been questioned as to who had attacked him. If it really had been Riley, then it was no wonder Spike had kept his mouth shut. Holy shit, Xander couldn't even begin to imagine Buffy's face if Spike had pointed out Riley. Xander wasn't even sure he wanted to be in the room if and when Buffy learned the truth. And of course, looking back now, it could only have been someone who knew about the chip and Spike's inability to defend himself that could have caused such serious injuries... a *human* someone. Riley knew about the chip, fuck, he had been the one to capture Spike for the Initiative in the first place. Hunted him down and handed him over to creepy old Dr Frankenstein herself. Xander's _expression became one of disgust as he remembered seeing Adam for the first time; yuck... ick... gross and double gross infinity.

Suddenly, everything made sense. Xander nodded to himself, yeah... he could see it now... why Riley had beaten the literal shit out of Spike, not to mention the rest of the so-called friends who had also indulged themselves in more than a little 'let's all hit Spike like a piñata'. It was so simple. Payback.

"They got you back for the whole Adam fiasco, didn't they?" Xander stated, the calm tone of his voice underlined with menace as he felt his already roused anger start to rise. Halting in midpace, he stepped over to the couch and stood directly in front of Spike, glaring down at the shaking vampire. "Jesus, Riley was so pissed at you for what you did. He lost his whole career plan, had to move out of the college dorm rooms and into the biggest rat nest of a motel in Sunnydale. He's working at The Doublemeat Palace, flipping burgers and cleaning the toilets because apparently, when the army officially state that your team never existed and any paperwork on you is 'lost', then there's no such thing as a pension. Riley's only getting enough hush money to pay the weekly rent, forget about any extra for essentials like groceries and that heart medicine he's gonna need for the rest of his life, thanks to Freakozoid Lady. Graham and Martinez work at that hell hole with him. Holy crap, *I* wouldn't even work there. Spike, because of you, he was almost killed the day you tried to hand us over to your great pal, Adam; all of us were almost goners. You fucked up his life... not only his, the rest of them as well so they had every right to fuck you over, give you what you deserve. A taste of your own medicine."

Xander looked down Spike, fists clenched and a hint of a sneer on his face as he watched Spike shake his head. "What the hell did you think they were all gonna do? Forget about it, let it go and just chalk it up to experience? They're the army: Live and let live isn't in their government sponsored handbook, let alone forgiveness. You know what, you're just fucking lucky they only took it as far as they did."

At Spike's strangled wail, Xander's sternness softened and he dropped to his knees. He gathered the sobbing vampire to his chest, wrapping his arms around the lithe body. Ever so gently, Xander rocked Spike back and forth. "And you did deserve it. I mean, I would never have thought Riley would do such a thing to *anyone or anything* but Spike, I believe you. I have to because... I can't see why you would ever lie about such a thing. There's just no advantage for you any which way I look at it so yeah, I believe *you*, okay?"

~Thank God, I think he really does believe me!~

Almost faint as relief flooded through him, Spike rested his head on a broad shoulder, still nervous enough to pluck and twist at the hem of Xander's long sleeved knit. He could smell Xander's simmering anger, something that Spike normally would have cringed from, the stench of the human emotion making him pinch his nose in order to block it out but right that moment, Spike wouldn't have changed a thing. Spike was well aware that the slightest thing would set Xander off into a major temper but, for the first time since being Claimed, Xander wasn't pissed at him.

~I'm bloody well soft. Hmpf, don't give a shit but. Me boy believes me, s'all that matters.~

Safe. Cuddling into the comfort of Xander's arms, Spike felt as if nothing could touch him. Spike tried to do as Xander asked and calm down some more, enjoying the strong hands rubbing soothingly across his back. His stomach doing flip-flops, Spike sighed and snuggled deeper into Xander's embrace.

"Spike, why tonight? What happened back there, in the carpark?"

~Because this is the first time the bastards have actually *touched* me since the ruddy crypt when they... you know... di-... did... *that* to me. ~

Eye's scrunched tightly, Spike's stomach dropped as he shivered. Spike shook his head; he didn't want to go into the details of what happened even though he knew he eventually would. Xander might be asking nicely now but, as Spike knew from experience, asking quickly became demanding, a slap across the head coming only a minute after. He seriously didn't think he could cope with Xander becoming slap happy in his current state of mind, so Spike opened his eyes and slowly untangled himself from Xander's strong arms. When Xander started to protest, Spike mimed the act of writing even as he looked for his note book and another pen.

Pen and notebook located on the floor beside the couch, Spike wrote down what happened in the crypt and how Riley and the rest of Arseholes Inc. continued to harass him from afar whenever they saw Spike. Spike filled page after page, listing every incident he could remember in which he had been called names, had things thrown at him, been the object of humiliating catcalls and wolfwhistles and even the time the 'question mark' had spat on him when Spike had been shopping with the two witches. Lastly, Spike described what had happened in the supermarket carpark that was making him so upset; Spike could feel the tears well up just from the stress of writing it down, his bottom lip and chin trembling with the effort of trying not to cry.

Snatching the small book from the pale, shaking hand as it was held out to him, Xander quickly read the hastily scribbled words; once more silence filled the living room. Finished reading, Xander stood stiffly, notebook crumpling as he clenched his fists and stared up at the ceiling, shaking his head in disbelief. With a small laugh, he turned his attention back to the vampire sitting on the couch and slowly strangling a cushion. "So, they gave you a feel up in the carpark, is that right? Right. Two shitheads not only touch what’s *mine*, they also have the fucking nerve to plan another gangbang, right? Right. They think they have the right to spy on me, follow you around? Uh-uh, not on. Not now, not ever."

In a sudden move, Xander was suddenly a bare inch from Spike's face, his face twisting in pure rage. "I don't give a flying fuck what happened in that crypt but... *but*, you belong to me now and NO-ONE TOUCHES YOU BUT ME! No one, and I mean not one single person does jack to you without going through me first. You know, I should be really pissed at you not telling me about all the hassle before but hey, I understand you're just too much of a retard to tell me when it happens. If you had just told me, it never would have got as far as this. I would've been able to keep an eye out for this sort of shit. You are just so fucking *stupid* at times, Spike, it... it honestly amazes me!"

~Sorry. I... I should have told you... I know and I'm sorry I didn't. You're right, I'm a moron. Sorry?~

Spike nodded instantly, desperate to prevent Xander from erupting into a major hissy fit. With a hand covering his mouth, Spike tried to muffle the sound of his sobs even as he wiped the tears from his eyes, not wanting to give Xander any cause to start in on him. He squealed as Xander grabbed at him.

Xander sat on the couch, roughly pulling and tugging at Spike as he manhandled the vampire till Spike was sitting on his lap. With a heavy hand, he forced Spike's head to rest upon his shoulder, impatiently patting at the bleached hair as he muttered under his breath to himself.

"Knew Farm Boy was too bright, shiny and Captain America to be any good!" Xander snapped, unconsciously rocking Spike once more, all the while stroking a finger repeatedly along the outer shell of a white ear in an attempt to soothe not only Spike but himself as well.

~No shit, an' I learnt me the hard way!~

Feeling Spike nod, Xander stared at the blank TV screen, jaw clenched as he wondered just what else had been done to his property without his permission. *He* was the one who cared for Spike, *he* was the one who cleaned up Spike's problems, chased away the nightmares and gave Spike 'lessons'. No-one else could be bothered, no-one cared about Spike. Fuck, some days, Xander was surprised he cared as much as he did, amazed he didn't just throw the shivering, crying, nervous wreck of a vampire out of the door and into the sunny day just for a little peace and quiet. Still, as much as Xander thumped into Spike, the fact remained that he *did* care. Rubbing his thumb back and forth across the lobe of Spike's ear, Xander told Spike that he would be safe; that no matter what, Spike could rely on him.

~Safe with you, Pet. Know I am, that's why I'm here. ~

Breathing a sigh of relief, Spike felt a small glimmer of hope spark up from deep within as Xander's rage calmed down into the protectiveness that Spike had come to crave. With a jaw wrenching yawn, Spike relaxed against Xander, smiling softly as he closed his eyes. A series of yawns, a bit of squirming around to get comfortable and Spike was emotionally exhausted enough to fall into a light slumber.

Xander looked down as he felt Spike relax completely, a tight grin on his face as he noted that the vampire's harsh panting had subsided. With a soft touch, Xander alternately stroked and tugged at the bleached hair only to freeze mid tweak when he caught a glimpse of a cut running along Spike's scalp. Even though it was almost healed, it hadn't been there that morning and Xander knew full well that *he* wasn't the one to put it there. Fighting the urge to throw Spike his his lap and across the room just so he could start pacing again, Xander took deep breaths even as he continued to play with the vampire's short hair.

"Fuck them! They not only touch what's mine, they dare to hurt it as well. If they think they can treat Spike any old how, well, they got another thing coming! Oooohhh yeah, the hurt will be on them this time!" promised Xander, whispering so as not to wake Spike. Seething once more, he sat for hours, just staring blankly in front of him and running his fingers through Spike's hair.

The paper bag that Xander had associated with nothing less than sheer mortification before being thrown on the car floor was all but forgotten for the time being.
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Once Bitten, Twice Shy